MY HUSBAND’S HELPER, Part 2
(The Strengths I Bring to my Marriage and Family)

We learned last week that God created us to be a helper and a strength to our husbands. We are kenegdo—his counterpart, or face to face opposite. God gives many strengths to the man as the leader of the home. He also gives many strengths to the woman, but different strengths. It would be superfluous for us both to have the same strengths. This would only undermine one another.

What strengths does God want us to bring to our marriage?

1. STRONG IN THE LORD

Ephesians 6: 20 states: “Be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.” Do you notice that we do not have strength in ourselves? It is only God’s strength. We are only strong in the power of His might. Therefore, we must be wives who seek after God and His ways, His strength for each new day, and for the battles we face in this life. When we are strong in the Lord we will be a strength to our husband.

Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10 says: “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.” I know you want to be one who uplifts your husband, not pulls him down.

If we give in to our feelings (which we are prone to do as females), we will be an emotional mess instead of a quiet strength for our husband and children. If we give into self-pity (to which we are also susceptible) we will be no good to our husbands or anyone in our family. Self-pity drains your strength. Self-pity pulls you down to the pits and pulls down your husband.

Instead, we “gird up the loins of our minds,” “cast down imaginations,” and say no to our grumbling self-pity (Psalm 40:2, 3; 2 Corinthians 10:3-5; James 4:7; and 1 Peter 1:13). We turn from our slough of despair and turn to the Lord. We confess that we trust Him, no matter what our situation. We confess He is bigger than our current circumstances. We thank God that He is in control.

And every time you win the battle, you become stronger! Isn’t that great? You don’t start out strong. You often start out weak, falling repeatedly into despair. But you can rise and fight in the power of His might. Hebrews 11:34 tells us about the men and women of faith who “out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight.”

You are in a battle, dear wife, and mother. The enemy of our souls hates marriage and hates family life and comes subtly to undermine and weaken our marriages and homes. Therefore, we must be strong for the fight. We must stand against all temptations and deceptions of the enemy.

However, God calls us strong and courageous. Proverbs 31:10 says: “Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies.” The word “virtuous” is the Hebrew word chayil and means “might, strength, power, and valor.” It is used in the context of war and battle and is the same word used to describe men of valor in the Old Testament. We do not fight with physical strength or flesh and blood, but with principles and powers and the deceptions and delusions of this world. Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might as you fight against them.

2. STRONG IN FAITH

“Without faith is impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6). Without faith, it is impossible to truly function as wife and mother. Life is not perfect. Not everything goes the way we plan it. We need faith for conception, pregnancy, birthing, and day to day mothering. We each face impossible situations that are beyond our control.

The Bible women who lived long ago learned how to trust God. 1 Peter 3:5 says: “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who TRUSTED IN GOD, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands.” What about when their husbands disobeyed God? What about when they made the wrong decisions? Their trust was in a greater One than their husbands. Therefore, they submitted to their husbands and TRUSTED GOD. God does not fail us when we put our trust in Him.

There is a powerful phrase that occurs twice in the Bible . . . “Because of Sarah.” Genesis 12:17 tells us that God “plagued Pharaoh and his house with GREAT PLAGUES because of Sarai Abraham’s wife.” And Genesis 18:20 tells us that God closed all the wombs of the house of King Abimelech “because of Sarah, Abraham’s wife.” That’s heavy stuff. God deals severely with kings of nations to protect one woman who trusts in Him!

More to come – ten points in all.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell
www.aboverubies.org

PRAYER:

“Thank you, dear Father, that You have created me to be a strong helper to my husband. Please help me to be a godly encouragement to him—always lifting him up rather than pulling him down. I ask this in Jesus’ name, Amen.”

AFRIRMATION:

I want to be a woman who trusts God, no matter what my situation.

YOUR HUSBAND’S HELPER

“And the LORD God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him”
(Genesis 2:18).

This is the first description the Bible gives about a wife. Therefore, I think it is important to understand what it means, don’t you? There’s a lot more to understand than what meets the eye. The Hebrew words for “help meet” are ezer kenegdo.

Let’s look at the first word, ezer. This word is used 21 times in the Old Testament, mostly to describe God. It describes God’s character as Deliverer, Protector, Rescuer, Savior, Strengthener, Protector, and Helper. The following are some examples:

“There is none like O Jeshurun (Israel) who rides through the heavens to your help through the skies in his majesty” (Deuteronomy 33:29).

“Thou art the helper of the fatherless” (Psalm 10:14).

“Behold, God is my helper” (Psalm 54:4).

Look how God comes to help the needy in this passage: “Happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the LORD his God: . . . Which executeth judgment for the oppressed: which giveth food to the hungry. The LORD loseth the prisoners: The LORD openeth the eyes of the bind: the LORD raiseth them that are bowed down: the LORD loveth the righteous: The LORD preserveth the strangers; he relieveth the fatherless and the widow” (Psalm 146:5-9). Do you see God pouring out His divine help in these words?

Amazingly, although ezer is used to describe God, it is first used to describe the woman. The first revelation of this word is ascribed to us. We are lifted to a high status. We are to be helpers to our husbands in the same way God is to His people. It is a divine mission. I like Ferrar Fenton’s translation: “I will make him a comforter to live with him.” What a lovely way to be a helper to our husbands.

The word kenegdo means “counterpart (the part which fits another), corresponding to, part opposite.” Let’s look at some other translations to help us understand more fully:

“I will make him a helper that is PERFECT FOR HIM" (CEB).

“I will make him a helper FIT FOR HIM" (ESV and RSV).

“I will make him a SUITABLE HELPER, COMPLETING HIM” (TBV- The Berkely Version).

“I will make a helper who is JUST RIGHT FOR HIM.” (NLT, GW, and NCV). I love these words, don’t you? When God created the women, He created her “just right for the man.” She is the perfect fit.

Because ezer comes from two Hebrew root words meaning “to rescue, to save, to be strong,” it could also be translated: “I will make a strength corresponding to man.”

God created man with specific strengths, but He also gave specific strengths to the woman to bring into the marriage. We don’t bring the man’s strengths, but the beautiful strengths God has given to us. Adam didn’t need another man; he needed a woman who would fit and complete him. Two pieces of a puzzle that are the same shape cannot fit together. You can only put one on top of the other, which eclipses the other.

God wants the man to be the protector, provider, and priest of the home. He created the woman to be the nurturer, nourisher, and nestbuilder of the home.

You are to be a strong helper, but that does not make you the spiritual head of your home. This doesn’t save your husband; it destroys and pulls down your husband’s strength. Because you are a strong helper, it does not make you the breadwinner; this takes away your husband’s anointing and strength.

It is important to fully embrace our God-given strengths and pour them into our marriage. Next week we will look more fully at some of the strengths we bring to our marriage

Blessings from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:

“Thank you, dear Father God, for creating me a helper that is an absolutely perfect fit for my husband. Please save me from usurping my husband’s job and authority. Teach me how to be the helper you want me to be to make our marriage strong and blessed. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

I am created differently, but uniquely, to fit my husband perfectly.

 BORN FOR KNOWLEDGE
Part 1

“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory,
may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him”
(Ephesians 1:17).

We were born for truth. We were born for knowledge. Provers 19:2 says: “That the soul be without knowledge, it is not good.” We were created in the image of God who is Truth. Therefore, it should be our inherent longing to know truth and walk in truth.

On the other hand, Satan is a liar. Jesus called him the father of lies (John 8:44). Because he was the liar from the beginning, he seeks to subvert us from the truth and fill our minds with lies and deception.

The greatest battle we face every day of our lives is in our minds. It’s the battle between truth and deception. God’s truth and Satan’s lies. Satan is the master deceiver and doesn’t tempt us with blatant lies. He makes them subtle. He makes them look like truth. He makes them look good and wise (Genesis 3:6).

The only way we can be sure of discerning and exposing His lies is by filling our minds with God’s truth through His eternal Word He has given to us.

God’s plan is for ALL people “to be saved and to come unto the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:4). The word “knowledge” is epignosis. “Gnosis” means “knowledge gained by experience” and “epi” intensifies the word. It is an intimate knowing. It means “to discern fully, to acknowledge.”

Dearest mothers, we must be women of truth. If we are not mothers of truth, how will our children become young men and women of truth? We are the imparters of God’s truth and knowledge to our children. This world is filled with knowledge, but much of it is lies and deception. A lot is good, but is worldly knowledge. The greatest knowledge is God’s knowledge. The knowledge of Him. The knowledge of His ways and how He wants us to live.

There is nothing greater we can do in life than lead our children into the knowledge of God, the knowledge of the Holy One (Proverbs 9:10). This doesn’t only mean intellectual knowledge. Epgnosis is knowledge that affects our lives and behavior. In fact, if it doesn’t produce godliness in our lives and our children’s lives it is not God’s knowledge. It is worldly knowledge which may fill the mind, but is of no use to the life. And it usually produces pride. Titus 1:1 (AMP) talks about the epignosis of truth “which leads to godliness.”

THROUGH THE KNOWLEDGE

As a struggling young mother, I read Philemon 1:6 and it changed my life. This Scriptures shows us how to translate God’s truth into our daily lives. It says: “That the communication of the faith bay become effectual by the acknowledging (epignosis) of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.”  How can our faith become effectual in our lives? By the epignosis, the acknowledging that every good virtue that is in Jesus Christ is also in us because He lives in us!

We can intellectually acknowledge all the wonderful virtues that are in Christ—His love, patience, longsuffering, joy, peace, strength, and so on. But to confess that they are in us? That’s too far-fetched! But this is the truth of this Scripture. God’s truth is usually the opposite to our thinking and feelings.

This is the secret. You’ve got to allow His word to fill and transform your mind with His truth. You’ve got to confess that these virtues are in you. When you feel upset, impatient, and angry, don’t confess these feelings. Instead, confess that you are filled with patience and longsuffering. It’s the truth, whether you feel like it or not. Christ Jesus who lives in you is filled with longsuffering and He wants His nature to become your nature. It happens as you acknowledge and confess it.

God’s Word translation calls it “a complete knowledge of every blessing we have in Christ.” The Amplified translation describes it as “your accurate knowledge of every good thing which is ours in Christ.” In other words, we cannot experience it until we know it. Therefore, we must seek to know Him. God wants us to come into “the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement (epignosis) of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:2, 3).

All the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are in Christ! You don’t have to turn anywhere else. You not only lead your children to salvation in Christ, but to understand all the wisdom and knowledge that is in Him.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

www.aboverubies.org

PRAYER

“Dear Father, I thank You that You live in me. I thank You that all the beautiful virtues that are in You are also in me because You live in me. Oh, please save me from living so shallowly and scraping the bottom of the barrel when I can live in the fullness and glory of all your virtues.  Thank you that I can love when I don’t even feel love because Your love is in me. Thank you that I am filled with patience even in the most trying times because You live within me. Help me to understand and acknowledge this wonderful truth. Amen.

AFFIRMATION

I am pursuing knowledge—the knowledge of the Father, the knowledge of Christ, and the knowledge of all His glorious promises.

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD

“And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man . . . Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”
(Genesis 2:22, 24).

The original wedding vows state: "I take you . . . TO HAVE AND TO HOLD from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part." The words “to hold” are strong and powerful. What do they mean to you? I’ll share a few thoughts, but I’d love to hear from you too.

1. CONFESS YOUR LOVE AND COMMITMENT CONTINUALLY

The Bible tells us that we hold on to our faith by confessing our faith (Hebrews 10:23). I believe this is also an important way to hold on to our marriage. Confession is a huge part of our everyday lives. We keep what we confess. Therefore, every day remember to say “I love you” to your husband. More than once a day is better. Confess your marriage commitment to your husband and to others.

2. ENCOURAGE YOUR HUSBAND DAILY

You can love your husband in your heart. You can think lovely things in your heart, but unless you speak them out they won’t impact his life. Husbands can’t do without encouragement. Remember, it is not enough to say your vows on your wedding day. You must HOLD on to your husband. To encourage him daily is a great way to do this.

3. REPECT AND HONOR YOUR HUSBAND

It is innately within husbands to desire honor from their wives. God made them this way. Seek to show your husband honor in the little things of life and it becomes easier in the big things. There is no greater way to HOLD on to your husband than by honoring him. He runs from disrespect.

4. DON’T LET ANYTHING GET IN BETWEEN YOU

When Jesus spoke about marriage, He stated the powerful words: “Let not man put asunder” or “Let no man separate” (Matthew 19:6). The word means to let nothing get in between you both. God wants you to be one. Glued together. Stuck together. Therefore, don’t let any relationship (and that includes Facebook relationships), any church activity, any organization, or any attitude get in between you.

5. DELIGHT TO COOK FOR HIM

Make it your responsibility to prepare healthy meals for him. Get his breakfast for him. Have a lovely meal ready for him when he comes home each evening. Prepare a lovely and inviting table for him to sit down to each evening. This shows your love to him.

6. DEMONSTRATE YOUR LOVE TO HIM

Touch, cuddle, kiss, and hug him when you see him throughout the day.

7. CONSISTENT SEXUAL INTIMACY

Encourage and solicit constant sexual intimacy with your husband. This is God’s beautiful intention for you and a big part of your marriage relationship. Never deny your husband; always welcome him.

When God gave the benediction at the first wedding, He stated: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This is God’s description of marriage.

I have ministered to women at conventions about marriage and encouraged them to be one with their husband –to have one heart, one vision, and one purpose. I believe this is true and I am sure God smiles. But it is not what the Bible says. If I am going to be factually true to the Bible, I must encourage wives to be “one flesh.”

Even if your husband is not on board with you spiritually, even if you don’t agree on everything, and even if you have different visions you can still be, and must be, one flesh! This is what marriage is all about. So, make sure it happens!

Be blessed and encouraged,

Nancy Campbell
www.aboverubies.org

PRAYER:

“Dear Father, please help me to see my marriage as You designed it. You want our relationship to be a picture of Christ and the church. Help me to show reverence to my husband as I would to Christ. Help me to show love to my husband as I love You. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

Every day I am thinking of a fresh way to show love to my husband and hold him to my heart.