LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 320: Your Past Does Not Define You, Part 1

Welcoming Pam Fields to the podcast today. Pam has done five podcasts with me in the past, but for the very first time today, she shares the story of her hidden past.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy: Hello, ladies! I’m always so blessed to be with you. “Life to the Full” is for the purpose of blessing you and encouraging you, and yes, sometimes challenging you as a wife and mother. So, I trust you will be blessed again today.

Now, I have a guest with me today. It’s going to be wonderful. But before I introduce her, I want to share a Scripture with you. I was reading this yesterday and I found it in Deuteronomy 4:6-7, “Keep therefore and do them,” that’s God Word, “for this is your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the nations, which shall hear all these statutes, and say, Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people. For what nation is there so great, who hath God so nigh unto them, as the LORD our God is in all things that we call upon him for?”

What a wonderful promise, dear ladies! God reminds us here that He is near us. Oh, you couldn’t get anything more wonderful, could you? That the God of the universe is right near you! Yes, with you—in your kitchen, where you are with your children, even in all your mess, and all your overwhelmingness, He is with you. Right near you!

Maybe you don’t really feel like it. You don’t feel that at all. You feel as though, “Help! Where is God in the midst of all this?” But we’ve got to acknowledge the truth. Ladies, we don’t live by our feelings. We live by the truth of the Word of God. If you are born again, if you’ve received Christ to come into your life, you have Jesus Christ living within you.

“Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27).

He’s in you, He is with you, and He’s right near you. Don’t listen to your feelings. Look up to the Lord and thank Him. Say, “Oh, thank You, Lord, I thank You that You are near me. You are with me as I mother my children, as I get through the day. Lord, I thank You for Your nearness.”

You may begin to say this not really even feeling it. But as you acknowledge this, as you confess this truth, you will begin to experience more of His nearness with you. That’s my prayer for you today, that you will know His nearness. Whatever you're doing, whatever is happening in your home, that is one of the greatest blessings that you can know.

So, who have I got with me today? Well, it is my dear friend, Pam Fields. I’ve known Pam for so many years. Pam has done podcasts with me before. Maybe you’ve missed out on them. I’ll have to tell you what ones they are, because after hearing Pam today, you might want to go back and check them out. The first ones we did together . . . Pam, by the way, you’d better say “Hi!” so they’ll know you're here!

Pam: Hello, I’m so glad to be here. I wish everybody could experience the hospitality of coming to the Campbell home. It feels like I’m going to Grandma’s house. I appreciate this opportunity so much.

Nancy: Yes, well, the first one we did was way back, I don’t know when, but it was podcast number 30.

Pam: I think it was 2018.

Nancy: Really? Wow, you were still living in Oregon then.

Pam. Yes.

Nancy: Now the Fields have moved to Tennessee. They decided to leave woke Oregon and come to Tennessee, which they have enjoyed doing. Pam spoke there about how she got this idea of making prayer bracelets. I often talk to you about prayer boxes, but Pam got a lot more personal with prayer bracelets, and how she has a bracelet with the name of each one of her nine children. Then she prays for them. I do this too, and we haven’t got our bracelets on, do we?

Pam: Neither of us have them on today!

Nancy: We are disgusting! [laughter] But when you’ve got your bracelets on, you can pray for one child even as you're going around the house. When you pray for that child, you can put it on the other hand, so you know you’ve prayed for all your children when the bracelets are all on the other hand. You haven’t missed out on any. But she tells you in that podcast how to go about it. That’s a great one to check out.

Then we talked more about homeschooling because Pam has been a homeschooling mother for how many years, Pam?

Pam: Probably about 23. Something like that.

Nancy: Whoo! 23 years! Yes, she has two married children, and one is getting married next month. So, the years go on, don’t they?

Then you came again, well, you’ve come lots in between, because Pam visits me quite often, Then number 101 was the vision of connecting older moms with young moms. That was a good podcast. Then we did number 263, “Life’s Not Perfect. What Can I Do?” Talking about the many griefs of life, but no matter what we’re going through, to end strong.

Those were great podcasts, but today we’re going to do something special. In fact, Pam is going to share the testimony of her life, something that she has never done before. When you look at Pam, you look at this wonderful, overcoming mother of nine children, who’s homeschooled them all throughout their lives. She’s such a blessing to so many other mothers, an encouragement, and an inspiration.

But I guess most don’t know her background. This is the amazing thing. I’ve known Pam’s background. I’ve always looked at her and thought, “What a trophy of grace! She has come out from confusion and delusion and deception into the most blessed life!” So, no matter what you’ve been through in your childhood, God can do anything. We’re going to hear about behind the scenes today, aren’t we, Pam?

Pam: Right. I have shared a little bit here and there, but we haven’t just sat down, and lingered, and talked deeply. We’ll see how this goes.

Nancy: And then, we’ll see. May the Lord guide us. Oh, before we get into it, I should say that Pam also now has her own podcast called “The Mom Next Door.” She interviews women, those who have been through all kinds of things in their lives. She interviews them. Want to say something about that, Pam?

Pam: Well, really the inspiration to start my podcast was being at the Above Rubies retreat. I love the testimony time when people stand up, and they share, on the last day of the retreat. Hearing people’s testimonies, what the Lord has done in their lives, has been such an encouragement to me.

When we hear what He’s done in somebody else’s life, we realize how amazing God is, and how powerful. No gone is too far gone, no far is too far off. He’s the Redeemer, and our Savior, truly. That’s why I started my podcast, to have an opportunity to hear the testimonies and the stories of the faith of women because I know it encourages my heart.

Nancy: Oh, yes. So, you can get onto that and listen to these wonderful stories. Like you, Pam, I love testimony time at our Above Rubies retreats. In fact, it’s a lovely time for me. I sit down and listen! I’m usually speaking! But then I can sit and listen, and I am always amazed.

I look at these women. Women will get up, and they’re . . .  this lovely mother and they’ve been homeschooling for years. And then you hear their testimony, and goodness, they’ve had about six abortions and goodness knows what! Your mouth’s wide open and you can’t even believe it, because there’s no taint upon them. Amazing what God does, isn’t it?

Even my girls like Serene and Pearl, they’ll often, when I get home, they’ll say to me, “Oh, Mom, did you hear a new juicy story?” Because they always loved testimony time when they would come to Above Rubies retreats too. It’s just amazing! God is in the business of restoring and redeeming and making whole, isn’t He?

So, let’s start a little bit. Start where you think you're going to start, OK?

Pam: OK, well, it’s all on me now. I think that when we meet somebody, we often see them, and we think, “This is who they are. This is who they’ve always been.” We don’t realize, until we throw out the anchor, and say, “Tell me about your life. Where did you come from? What is your family history and family of origin?”

Nancy: The interesting thing is, I was just asking you before, I said, “Pam, you've had this beautiful life of raising your children. But you shared with me how recently you went for counseling. But what on earth did you go to a counselor for?” You can tell us why you did. It’s interesting.

Pam: Sure. I am 52 now. I can’t remember if it was 49, or right about 50 when I first went to a counselor. The only reason I went was to prove my medical practitioner wrong because I had never been to a counselor.

I was in a position where I was starting to lose my words. I couldn’t think of the word, “You know, that thing across the room. I need you to move it from here to there. I can’t think of what that is.” The other person would say, “That chair?” “Oh, yeah, yeah, that chair. I need you to move the chair.” Just the simplest words, I started to lose. Putting well-functioned sentences together was becoming difficult for me.

I started thinking that maybe I was dealing with early memory loss, Alzheimer’s. “What is the deal? I’m losing my mind!” It was such an extreme brain fog where it was hard to concentrate. Now, as I’m starting to podcast, and starting to write, I’m really using my words a lot. Just the difference, even, of my life, as my children are growing. I thought, “What in the world is the matter?”

After we looked at blood tests and different things, the practitioner said, “I think you need to go to a counselor and work through some of your PTSD.”

I said, “That is the silliest thing ever! I don’t have PTSD!” She told me a counselor to go to, a biblical counselor.

I walked in, and she said, “Tell me about your stress life.” I said, “I don’t have any stresses in my life.” I’m sure she was thinking, “You have nine children, you just moved 2,000 miles from Oregon to Tennessee. How do you NOT have stress in your life?”

Then she asked me about any past traumas in my life. I said, “I don’t have any traumas. Are you kidding me?” As we started to unpack my story a little bit, she asked me about my childhood and my life. She was like, “Well, that was trauma. That’s another trauma. That’s another.” I didn’t ever recognize it.

I think we’ve become very focused, at least I did. I became very focused on what was in front of me, the people in front of me, and what the Lord was calling me to do, right now at this moment. I became very invested in those things. I think maybe as my children grew older, it shifted. Some are brain focused. The Lord maybe protected me to not have full memory and a desire to work that out, because I was so needed hands-on for the raising of my children.

Nancy: I think that’s very interesting too, because I believe motherhood has saved you. The Word in 1 Timothy 2:15 says “You shall be saved in childbearing.” The word sozo is not just “saved.” It means, “saved, delivered, protected, healed.” That’s body, soul, and spirit.

I think, as you were pouring your life into motherhood, that pouring your life into your children saved you from having trauma of your past life. But then, as your children grow, somewhere along the line, OK, it's going to come out. Now that they’re growing up and you have reached a season in your life, around about menopause, it all comes out. So now, you've had to go back and face this rather interesting life. So, carry on!

Pam: Right. I knew I had a different childhood. I even knew as a child that my life was a little different from my other friends. Other children weren’t allowed to come play at my house or spend the night at my house. I knew our family was a little different, but I also knew all families are different. They’re all different from each other.

I don’t think I really understood the capacity or the depth of how different it was until, one, I started parenting. I became a mom. I started; it was like glimpses then. I knew when I got married and when I became a mother, that I did not want to be like, and raise my family the way that I was raised.

Really, that probably started at the age of 15. My grandmother sent me to a Christian summer camp. I looked around and I thought, “All these people have something that I don’t have. I want to live my life completely differently than how I have been living, how I have been raised.” At 15, I knew that.

I think it’s incrementally that He gives us new vision. One, at 15, I wanted to live my life differently. Then when I got married, “How do I live a godly life as a wife?” And then as I moved into parenting, there was that. I think that it was when my oldest was just a few months old that somebody handed me a copy of Above Rubies magazine, and said, “You’ve got to read this. This is so great!” He’s 28 now, so for 28 years I . . .

Nancy: That’s quite a long time, isn’t it?

Pam: Yes. I’ve been getting the magazine, and you had just published The Power of Motherhood which really counseled me in the different aspects of motherhood. I had thought my goal was to keep this child alive and make sure they stayed out of jail. That was what moms do!

Then when I looked at that book, each chapter counseled me that there was more to it than that. Then at one point, I was able to come listen to you speak. Finally, down the road, I was able to host retreats. Each step of the way I’ve learned. And I’ve completely forgotten the question that we started with! [laughter]

Nancy: Oh, yes. Well, I don’t know where we were. That doesn’t matter. I think you're sharing now . . . keep sharing about why it was different in your home? You didn’t realize at the time. But, of course, now you look back, and see what a delusion it was.

Pam: Right. Yes, I think I was saying how I always knew we were a little different. I wanted to do things differently within my home. But when I went to that counselor, I was confronted with a lot of memories that I had forgotten. They had been pushed aside. I hadn’t had to deal with them.

They were not important for that day-to-day work that I had to do in parenting, although in retrospect, they did affect the way that I did parent my children. I think there were some things that I could have done differently as a mom, there are ways that I could have nurtured differently. In some regards I was not trained to be a nurturer, and I did my best.

But in some ways, I was still learning. I think we always look back, and we go, “I wasn’t perfect. I could have done things better.” And then I go, “No, that’s OK. God gave you those children, in that season, for that purpose. He will work out His story in their lives with what He gave you at that moment.” Each child needs something different. In His divine placement for each child in our lives . . . They each learn different things from me, and I learn different things from them.

Nancy: OK, well, tell us a little bit about this lifestyle.

Pam: I’ll just really briefly say that my parents met at a Christian youth camp. He was the lifeguard, and she was the camp nurse. They fell in love and decided that they would be missionaries and do ministry together. From the get-go of their relationship, that was their purpose.

Of course, I have an older sister, and I was the middle child, and I have a younger brother. I don’t have a lot of distinct memories of that childhood and of those years. I really don’t remember. I’ve seen some pictures, but I don’t remember much until about second grade.

My parents, most of their work was with North American Indians, and we did live on reservations when I was a child, and anywhere near Native American populations. There was that. And then around second grade, to help another missionary family, we moved to the state of Montana so my parents could take care of or look after another missionary family while they were at language training. Our family all went with. We were available.

I went to school there. That is one of my earliest recollections of family life. They weren’t great. When I think through that, our family game night was a Ouija board. My dad passed pornography around. I remember sitting in a circle, and he said, “I want you all to go pick out your favorite picture and tell me what it is.” I remember thinking, “I don’t like any of this! I just want to leave the room.” I wasn’t allowed to leave the room until I pointed to a picture.

That Ouija board, I didn’t not want to play with that. I didn’t want to touch it. I remember being afraid of it. But I had no knowledge of what it was. I remember my dad with his hand on mine, forcing it onto the device, whatever it was. I was actively trying to pull my hand away. I did not want to have part of that.

There was alcohol in the home. He provided it, and suggested, and gave us alcohol as children, as kind of a funny thing. “I want you to test this out.” I think his philosophy was, “If I provide my children with this now, in a safe place, they will not have a desire to go figure it out on their own. Therefore, I have more control to protect them.” I think that was his philosophy. It came to bear in some later years, in some situations where that was what he said. That was part of our life when I was in second grade.

We moved back from Montana, and we had a little apartment for our family of five. The memory I have in that apartment is there was a guy. I have no idea where my dad found him, or what his circumstance was. He lived with us for a while with his extremely large boa constrictor. That was a little frightful for the children and my mom but also humorous to the men that were in the home. That was my one recollection of landing back in Oregon.

About this time, I think now that I recognize trauma, sometimes our brain can play tricks on the exact timeline and the circumstance. I slow down, and I’m like, “What? I’ve got to remember this right, because I want to be truthful, and speak well.” I’m always a little careful as I step into here, but it was about this time that my parents, with their heart for North American Indians, had purchased a piece of property a few miles down from the Indian school. It was a boarding school for high schoolers, just for Native Americans.

They purchased this plot of land so that they could do ministry there. About that time, there was a church across town that was doing this huge renovation and rebuilding. They had a parsonage that needed to be gone. To support our ministry, which was an official ministry by then, with supporters, and people donating for this Indian mission, the church sold us the building for one dollar. It went up on the airplane movement wheels. We carted that house across town and put it on a foundation.

That became known as “Samawah Chapel.” The name of the Indian school down the road was Samawah Indian School there in Oregon. So, we had this ministry center in this little church building. In the basement were rooms for residents. Those were runaways, or people who had recently gotten out of jail and needed a place to stay.

My dad very regularly picked up hitchhikers. It was not uncommon to be . . . Maybe he’d pick us up after school, and we’d be driving home, and he’d just pull over. He drove a pickup truck, so he’d say, “Scoot over and let him in.” We’d have hitchhikers or homeless people in the truck with us. We’d go home, and we’d give him a place to stay. They’d stay in our basement.

On the main floor was the kitchen and the dining room. We had a VHS player, and games in my dad’s office, where he counseled people. He was an ordained minister. He wore one of those black shirts with the little white collars. He had gone to Bible college. He also did prison ministry at the time where he would go in. He did prison ministry.

Back to the home, at the top level was where our family had our bedrooms and our bathrooms. It was separated out, so we did have a protected space that was just for us. That was the house we lived in.

You’ve got to keep me on track again.

Nancy: Yes. So, how many years did you live in that house?

Pam: We lived there from, I believe, about second grade until, I believe it was the summer right at the end of my eighth-grade year.

Nancy: Yes, and that was when one day you were brought a message from somebody.

Pam: Well, my sister and I were driving home from school in her little orange VW bug. There was a friend of my parents . . .

Nancy: You were driving home?

Pam: We were driving home.

Nancy: She had her license?

Pam: She had her license. I didn’t. I was about in eighth or ninth grade. We were fairly close to the house. There was a woman on the side of the road who was literally waving her arms to flag us down. She said, “Don’t go home! It’s not safe! You need to go find somewhere to be and call into your grandma’s house. She’ll give you the next instructions.”

We looked over, and what we saw was a police raid on our home, on that ministry center. Police cars all over. We never looked back. We went to a safe place, my sister’s friend’s house, and called into my grandmother’s house for next instructions.

Nancy: OK! So, what happened that the police raided the house?

Pam: Well, my dad was under investigation for charges of furnishing alcohol to minors, furnishing pornography to minors, and sodomy with a minor. This was in the ‘80’s. I don’t know if those would even be charges today, you know, but it was definitely not acceptable. I would like to research the police records and see if I’m even remembering everything accurately. Were there more charges? Or how things went.

We were taken out of school to attend his arraignment hearing. My dad explained to us that “It’s very important that you come, because the judge will be more lenient on me if he sees that I’m a family man.” We left school that day, and we went and sat in the gallery or whatever they call it.

In the end, my dad was let out. They called it “ROR,” released on his own recognizance. Then at one point, the charges were dropped. He never went to jail, never did anything, but we still never went back to that house. Of course, it hit the newspapers, and all the churches that funded us, our ministry, dropped us, as they well should have.

Nancy: It’s amazing that he wasn’t tried.

Pam: Right. And again, as a young child, I don’t know all the pieces to that. I’ve asked my mom some recently, and she doesn’t remember. I know it was a lot for her to absorb, and a lot to remember now, this many years later. There might still be some mystery, but I don’t ever know the exact details.

Nancy: Yes, yes. So then, did your father carry on this kind of lifestyle? He had this heart for people, but he wasn’t walking a straight road.

Pam: Absolutely. Yes.

Nancy: It was very disillusioning, wasn’t it, to think you were in a supposedly ministry house, and here you are, facing all this evil stuff in the house.

Pam: Right. Yeah. As a little child, and again, bits and pieces of my memory, I do remember he would take some itinerant pastors, or somebody’d be on vacation. He’d go and teach that Sunday. We would get put up on the stage to sing “Nothing but the Blood of Jesus.”

Then they would pass the offering basket for us to support our ministry. He would preach the sermon, but I remember, as we would leave the churches, he would make fun of the church people. It was such a distorted view of Christianity.

Nancy: And then you never went to church, did you?

Pam: We did not. We did not go to church at all. The only time we talked of faith or anything, was those times he was preaching as a sub. I really didn’t step into going to church until I was 15.

Nancy: Yes, yes. So, OK, so now, people are not going to support this ministry when he’s exposed of what he is. How did he support the family after that?

Pam: Well, he took a vow of poverty back before all this began. He really did not support our family at all.

Nancy: So, it was your mother who was supporting your family.

Pam: Yes. My mother was an operating room nurse. I think she’s close to 40 years as an operating room nurse. She worked very long hours. Probably 50 to 60 hours a week? Because we had bills. The ministry, as a missions organization, brought in funding that was then spent on some of the mission’s expenditures. But not completely, and it didn’t provide for our personal things as much.

It turns out that at some point during all this, my dad really started spending a lot of money on alcohol. It’s just so distorted. When he would counsel people, in his office, he did not want them to feel that they were being judged, so if they wanted to smoke pot or drink alcohol, he would do that with them, to put them at ease. So, it was convoluted, and probably very expensive. Then, when it came to a screeching halt, that was a new chapter of our lives in a lot of ways. But then, still, some other things continued on.

Nancy: So, your mother working such long hours, she would hardly have been there for you, or had time to cook for you.

Pam: She was very faithful. In the morning, before her work, and I don’t know how she did it, she would always make several casseroles and put them in the fridge so that when we came home from school (and this is the latchkey kids’ generation). We came home from school, and we had instructions of what temperature and what time to put that casserole in the oven. Then we could feed ourselves our dinner and put the leftovers back in the fridge. She was faithful to that.

Nancy: So, you just ate your meals on your own. Where was your dad then?

Pam: Sometimes he was driving around, rounding up more people. Sometimes counseling, sometimes out working. He taught some life skills, kids how to change spark plugs or oil, things like that.

Nancy: Goodness, our time is up, so I think you’ve got to finish this story. We’d better have another session together.

Pam: Right.

Nancy: Oh, Lord, we thank You again so much for the way You love to restore and redeem. And Lord, we’ve been hearing some of Pam’s lifestyle. But Lord, we thank You that You redeemed her from this, and You’ve brought her into Your kingdom, and into Your culture, and into Your ways. Lord, we look forward to hearing more of that in the next session.

Bless all the mothers listening today, I pray. Bless their homes, and Lord, I pray that You’ll lead each one closer and closer to You, and that they will truly know Your nearness. In the Name of Jesus, amen.”

 

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 319: Keeping Your Children’s Hearts

Allison Hartman from Pensacola shares today about keeping your children's hearts. Do you have your children's hearts? What about your older children? Tune in to hear these powerful pointers on how to keep your children's hearts throughout all seasons.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! I still have Allison with me, so we’re going to take the opportunity to do one more podcast together. All the children are playing downstairs so they’ll just wait a bit longer for lunch. A subject that is very close to Allison’s heart is how to keep your children’s hearts. So, Allison, let’s hear from you!

Allison: You know, I’m so thankful that I’m able to raise my children with many different age groups. I have littles all the way from four to married, age 25.

Nancy: Three children married now, two of them married to two of my grandsons.

Allison: Yes, we’ve got sisters who married brothers. One of the benefits, I think, of having a larger family is that you’re able to see what to look forward to. As parents, as you’ve heard me speak before, I think it’s very important to think about what is our goal, what is our purpose as mothers? My goal, and hopefully it’s yours as well, is to raise adults, raise godly mamas and daddies. That’s our end goal. Therefore, everything we do has got to lead up to that.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a friend reach out and private message me. She said, “Can I have some godly mother counsel?” She had shared with me about her child before. This child was extremely disobedient, extremely naughty, and just not controllable. She had them in child daycare. They were kicked out of kindergarten. Until K-3, they were asked to leave. They were having a really tough time with her.

Instead of just answering her, I went to our Above Rubies family group. The greatest thing about our family camp that we put on is that we have a continuing chat on Signal. It’s so wonderful because you’ve got 100 families at your disposal to ask advice from. I think it’s important to glean from each other.

So, I asked our group, “What would you say to this mom who’s struggling with the disobedience thing?” Obviously, my first response would be, “You’ve got to stay home with your child.”

Nancy: Yes, that’s what I would say. When you were telling about it, that’s the first thing, “Well, she’d better come home!”

Allison: She shared that that’s not an option right now. You’ve got to meet people where they’re at so I was trying to answer her appropriately. Yes, my first and foremost would be, “You’ve got to be at home.”

But then, when I started asking other people their thoughts, my answer to her was this. I said, “First of all, I think it’s important for us to realize that we’re all a sum total of our experiences. The way we parent is so much the way we were parented, unless we’re careful. When I’m parenting, so much of what I do as a mother is what I’ve seen. But just because we’ve seen it doesn’t make it right.”

I shared with her that if you’ve only seen discipline done in anger, then you’re typically going to do that. But we shouldn’t. Also, the statement, “Rules without relationship lead to rebellion.” When we’re parenting with rules only, we’re only going to get, typically, rebellion. Or children who, we don’t have their hearts.

A couple of years ago, our local news did an article on our family. They asked me, “Why do you homeschool?” My answer to them was . . .  was it because I’m a really good teacher? Or I can really make sure that they’re learning the subjects I want them to learn. But my answer to the news station was because I want my children’s heart. I want, not when they’re just little and four, to obey immediately. I want when they’re 25 and they’re 18, and they’re 17, and they’re 15, I want to have their hearts.

So then, I shared this with this mom. Her response was, “What does that mean?” I was kind of amazed. I didn’t realize everybody doesn’t know what that means. It brought me to our group again, our family camp again. I said, “What does that mean to us, guys? What does it mean to have our children’s hearts?”

I think when they’re little, personally, I think it’s easy to have your children’s hearts. They want to be with Mama. My little boy just got hurt a second ago. What did he do? He immediately came to me because he knows I’m going to make sure he’s going to be OK. But when they’re older, and they have peers, it’s very often that we lose their hearts, because they have others that they can go to. So, how do we do that? How do we keep their hearts?

Just a few thoughts on that. I think you can’t have your children’s hearts unless you spend time with them. We have our husbands’ hearts because we spend time with them, right? We are their best friend. Well, we have to do the same with our children.

So many mothers will say, “I’m not your friend! I’m your mother!” Can we do both? I think we can. I am now to a point where if I really stop and think about who my best friends are, I would say my best friends are my older girls because I spent time with them. They trust my answers. I love being with them. And I think I’ve proved that over my life with them, because I chose to spend time with them. We talked about family-integrated churches. I chose not to put my children in children’s church and Sunday school and youth group. I chose to spend time with them. Therefore, I have their hearts.

One suggestion I would have to a mother listening today who says, “I don’t understand, I don’t know how to do this,” well, one of the best things I’ve done is glean from other mamas. One way I’ve become a better wife is by watching you be a good wife. So, if you don’t have a good community around you, a good church group, come to our family camp, because you’ll see a hundred different families, and trust me, a lot of them are doing it way better than I am. But the reason I keep coming back is, I’m learning from other mamas who are doing it well. That’s just one encouragement.

But to have our children’s hearts, I think it means we have to, number one, invest time into them. Spending time as a family. Doing things as a family. Not pawning them off to other families and letting them go spend the night or letting them be involved in sports. My children know that I am their greatest cheerleader and we’re a huge sports family. Whether it’s volleyball, and now it’s fight ball as the new sport. Whatever my children are into, I am their number one cheerleader.

So now, there’s that trust. They know that I’m going to cheer for them, but I’m also going to fight for them. They also know I’m probably also one of the hardest moms around. My children’s friends know, “Ooh, Mrs. Hartman, she scares me!” Well, it’s because I don’t let anything go. I’m not an easy mama. I think we have to be careful not to think that to have our children’s hearts, we have to give into them.

Nancy: That’s right.

Allison: We don’t! You can have your children’s hearts by being a tough mama. I don’t let anything go. We don’t watch TV. We don’t play video games. We don’t hang out with families that I don’t want my children to align with. You don’t have to give in by saying, “I want to be the nice mom because I want to have their hearts.”

You can actually do just as good of a job of keeping their hearts by being that tough mom, but you can’t just be rules, rules, rules. You have to have a relationship. I think those things are really important. We have found that being in a family-integrated church is such a great way to allow this.

I would answer that mama that asked me a question, and maybe you are listening, “How do I have my children’s hearts?” I think you have to invest time in them. You have to not just give quick answers. “I said no. Don’t do it because I said no.” “Don’t do it, but let me sit with you and explain to you the why behind why I’m saying no. Instead, let’s go do something together.” “No, I don’t want you to hang out with that friend, but I’m not going to just say no. I’m going to explain why.”

I’m not going to say, “No, you can’t wear that shirt that shows your belly because I said not to. I’m going to explain to you that the reason I don’t want you to wear that shirt that shows your belly is because you’re a beautiful lady. Boys will be immediately noticing your belly. I want them to notice your face. I want them to see your heart.” I’m going to explain to them that I’m not just being mean. I’m not just being the mean mom. “I want you to be the most beautiful modest-dressed lady out there.”

Again, it takes time. You’ve got to spend time with them. You’ve got to be surrounded by like-minded families who are doing the same. If you don’t have that, then you’ve got to create it. We didn’t have it, so therefore we created it by starting our family camp. Maybe sometime I’ll be able to plug in the dates for the family camp.

Nancy: Oh yes, you do that.

Allison: I am so honored that we now have all three of our married children coming to our church. That is super unusual nowadays but not just coming to our fellowship church. They desire to spend time with us. I really think it’s because when they were younger, we desired to spend time with them.

We prioritized everything, whether it’s a business venture. Whenever my children are into business, I am all in. My son just injured his leg, so of course I’m taking him to doctor’s appointments. But not only that, I was helping him think, what can we do with this time, now that you can’t walk on your foot for the whole summer. So, he got into selling honey. It wasn’t just, “Sure, that sounds like a great idea. You go do that. I’ll go do my thing.” No, “I’m going to be there. I’m going to get this started with you. I’m going to set you up for success.”

Nancy: I just noticed yesterday . . .  what mother could do this to an 18-year-old son? We were going off to the luncheon, and you said to Ethan, “Well, OK, if you don’t want to come, you can stay home and clean the house.” What mother says that to an 18-year-old boy? He’s not some sissy boy. He’s handsome, he’s muscular, he’s sporty, he’s cool. He said, “OK, I’ll do that.” I simply cannot believe that.

As I walked in yesterday afternoon, there was something about my house that I couldn’t believe. It looked as though a professional cleaner had come in and I’d paid out all this money. He spent the whole day cleaning this huge home, upstairs and downstairs. It was the greatest thing he could do! It was just amazing! You don’t get 18-year-old boys doing that just because their mother said, “OK, you can do that.”  It was so incredible!

Allison: I’m not sure how we really got to that point, other than I just look back, and everything we did, we did together. I don’t ever clean my house as one person. I will wait until everyone’s here, because our family is a team. When you're on a sports team, you can’t play volleyball with one person. You have to have your team, and you're all good at different things.

I’m a real big believer in, when you find out what their strengths are, you really go for it. You praise them, and then you give them big, big jobs, and you expect big, big things.

We also believe in working six days a week. The Bible does not say to work five days a week, and then take a weekend off. It says six days a week. That’s why today is Saturday, and my husband is out there with a whole crew of boys, working. We raise our children to be workers, even if it’s just cleaning the house. But he loves to serve, and that’s his way of showing you that he appreciates you.

Nancy: Yes, yes. And then your boys are used to this. Your girls are married now, so now it’s teenage boys. “Can I get you a cup of coffee? What kind would you like?” because they’ve got the coffee machine, which you always bring with you. [laughter]

Allison: Right. We always have to have a good coffee machine!

Nancy: Ethan made one for me yesterday and he had written on it because he knows how to do it. It had an “N” on it. My sister Kate, he made one for her, and she couldn’t believe it. It had a “K” on it for her! She was so blessed.

Allison: Aww. Well, with our family’s church that we do in our home, that has become his little ministry. These families will come to our church, and it’s a little intimidating to come to someone’s house that you don’t even know. But there’s nothing like a good cup of coffee that will break the ice.

Ethan is really a blessing. He’ll see a mama, especially a young mama that has lots of little children. He will look at her and say, “Can I get you a coffee?” And she’ll say, “Well, yes!” Then he’ll say, “Iced or hot?” She’ll say, “Um, iced.” “Well, would you like honey, or would you like stevia, or would you like whole milk, or would you like half-and-half?” It’s like going to a coffee shop. He really does love to bless people. We’re super thankful.

So, yeah, I will mention our family camp really quick. Probably like most of you out there, we truly could not find a solid group of families that we could do life with, and we could see in their children the things we wanted to be a part of our family. I started doing ladies’ retreats with you 20 years ago. Then we moved quickly into family camps.

A YEAR LONG + COMMUNITY

The benefits of it are so beyond, not that the teaching’s not amazing, because of course it is. We love Mr. Colin speaking to the families and the men. And you, of course, speaking to the ladies. But most of the time, the retreat will end when the retreat ends. Then we’ll pick up when we come back next year. Our retreats have turned into a complete year-long community.

Nancy: Well, they started out as just weekend family retreats, like we do all our family retreats. But it wasn’t enough, and now they are a weeklong. Three times a year, a weeklong!

Allison: That’s right. That’s right. But even not only that, but we will continue to have our Signal group, so you’ve got somebody to pass news to. Pete Pierson’s son fell off a bunk bed and had to be airlifted. He hurt his kidney. Immediately he was able to put it out on Signal to our Above Rubies family and they started praying for him. Not only did they pray for him, but people would send meals, or send gift packages, or just let him know that we love him.

For a lot of us, that is our church. That is our family. But yes, we do it three times a year. The next time we’re meeting is actually in August. That’s our family reunion, we call it. We normally just have families that have come to the retreat before, or at least they’re friends with someone who has come. That will be in August.

And then we actually started doing a winter retreat, which is really neat, because it’s down time for the venue, so it’s super rates. In January, we’ll do our winter retreat, which is a smaller crowd. If you’re interested in more of a smaller group, and not being with a thousand people, January winter family camp is a great spot.

Then our big group retreat is in April. We’re close to 110 families, over 1,000 people, which is so exciting because Laguna is building a bigger building just for our group. We are one of the main groups that they’re doing it for. So, it’s going to be even bigger, where we can have probably close to 3,000.

THE NEW ABOVE RUBIES MAGAZINE, #102

Nancy: Wow, that’s going to be so great! And you mentioned Pete Pierson. I’ve just been preparing the new issue of Above Rubies. Sadly, I don’t have all the money in for yet, but I get to that stage where I must get another magazine out into the nation, into the world. This magazine is full of the most powerful testimonies and articles. I long to get it out. So, I’m going ahead in faith. It’s now with the design artist, and Pete has written again. He’s written on PRODUCTIVE HOUSEHOLDS. It’s very, very good.

Allison: He did a breakout session.

Nancy: Yes, it was very, very good. Maybe you’re never ever actually made a donation to Above Rubies. The only way I get the magazine out is by donations and the love offerings of God’s people. I rarely talk about it, but I’m so longing to get out this magazine. It costs about $80,000 to print and send out each issue. So, I have about half of that in but I need another $40,000.

It’s amazing. If everybody would just send something, we can put this message out again into the nations. Oh, because we are living in such a deceived world! In the midst of this deception and delusion, we’ve got to get out the truth and especially about families. Because family is the very first thing. Marriage and family are God’s ultimate plan for how we are to live in this world. He designed marriage and family. This was the very first thing He mandated. Before church, before government, before everything else in the world is family.

What has happened today is that the family has become fragmented and separated and disillusioned. No, it’s not meant to be that way. The family is meant to be the strongest unit in the nation, stronger than anything else. Everything must come back to family and to godly marriages and godly families.

We need to keep getting this message out. So, if the Lord touches your heart, respond to Him. Send in whatever the Lord will put on your heart. Use your little . . .  and let’s see if we can get this magazine out. It’s already with the design artist so we can just get it out. We can get it on that press as soon as that money comes in.

Allison: You know, when I think about different ministries, I can’t think of another ministry out there that is really, and you’re right, families are the hardest of everything. It’s really where all the societal issues are stemming from. All these lost children, all these confused on gender and identity. It all comes back to the family.

Nancy: It all comes back.

Allison: I don’t know of another ministry that specifically targets helping that root issue, which is the most important issue out there. So important, so important to . . .

Nancy: Yes, and as we’re saying this, dear ladies, I mentioned a couple of podcasts ago that I do believe, and it’s not just me. It’s that so many feel from what God is saying to them, and even in the secular world, that there are going to be difficult times ahead. Very, very difficult for this nation. We must be prepared. I talked about being prepared in many ways and even practically, with food and everything.

But I think the greatest preparation is bringing our families together, being strong as a family, in our marriages. If we’re not strong as a marriage, as husband and wife, and our families are fragmented, we’re not going to survive. We have to be strong and knitted together in our marriages and in our families.

Can I encourage you, dear mothers, to do everything in you power to strengthen your family, your family relationships. Pound your stakes deep. Oh, if you’re even out working because that’s the only way you can survive, I know there are so many who feel that’s the only way they can survive.

But you know what? It’s amazing. I think it’s just a thought pattern, because when I look around, and I see all these families who are surviving, and the mother is home, and the father doesn’t have some great big amazing job, bringing in thousands. He’s just a normal working man and yet they have five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten children, and they’re surviving.

They have taken that step of faith to come home so the mother is in the home, strengthening the home, as you are sharing, getting her children’s hearts. But when they do, they may not live like you’ve got everything you want in life but they have what they need. We can live on just what we barely need. We can! And live well, and live excitingly, and happily, and wonderfully!

RAISING ENTREPENEURS

Allison: My biggest heart is raising entrepreneurs. Having a family business solves several issues. It solves your financial issues. You can bring in so much more money by being an entrepreneur but it also brings the family together. People say all the time, “Well, what do you need?”

I was sitting here thinking, as the mamas listening to this, what are some true practical things that we can do to not fragment the family? And I think having a family business is a great way. Coming up, brainstorming ideas. This is what we do at the dinner table. We’ll have meals together but we’re always brainstorming and coming up with, “What about this idea? You’re really good at this so let’s do this together.” But again, everything we do, we do it together.

Nancy: The amazing thing is that you don’t just talk about them. You actually do them!

Allison: We do. We do.

Nancy: Like you set up a farmer’s market in two places, really, to sell the products the children are making!

Allison: That’s right.

Nancy: You made an outlet for them but an outlet for hundreds of others. Then it becomes another business of yours, and then the children keep thinking of new things that they can make and do and sell. They’re becoming entrepreneurs in their youth.

Allison: We talked about that verse in Ecclesiastes about dividing your substance into seven parts, even into eight. We are really big on having many streams of income. But how wonderful to have those streams of income to be connected to a certain child! It’s amazing how talented our children are. Ethan can do things I could never do.

Having those streams of income and you’re setting them up for success. Instead of them . . . I’ve said before, you want your children’s floor to be your ceiling. The best that you get to in your marriage and in your family, that should be where our children start. And the best way to do that is by setting them up for success.

I think about our married girls. They’re not only starting marriage debt-free, they have several forms of income, but they probably have $50,000 to $100,000 saved up already. And they’re in their young, early 20’s.

Nancy:  They’re so young!

Allison: But it’s because when they were 10 and 11 and 12 . . .  my ten-year-old made $168 last weekend selling homemade popsicles. That sounds silly but I was able to help her with it and she was able to make enough money to go buy things that she wants. But we did it as a family.

We all sat around last Sunday and we discussed ideas. Again, practical ways to keep your family from fragmenting are doing businesses together, playing sports together, opening up your home for fellowship, and inviting other families. Going to family camp, traveling together, doing ministry together. But again, the word in common is “together.” We try to do everything together.

One thing I did forget to mention about this mama, as a mom with littles, something that I think is a problem that we do as parents is, we give a command, but then we don’t follow through and make sure that that child is going to obey. I think we need to be very careful when we give our children instructions. We need to make sure that we’re following through, and that they are obeying completely.

That’s another way to keep our child’s heart and not frustrate them. We’re giving a command, and we’re yelling it out, not making sure it’s done. Basically, we’re causing division, even in those early years. They’re not going to trust us. We have to give the command, and if this is confusing, well, then set a time when you’re going to specifically give an instruction. You can start this early.

“Hey, Ezra, I want you to go do this, this, and this. But then I’m going to follow through, and make sure you do this, this, and this exactly.” If they did it, praise them. If they didn’t, they need a punishment.  They need a specific, and then, let’s try again. I’m trying to think of practical ways so that mothers can take this message and not be frustrated and think, “That sounds so overwhelming. I don’t know how to do it.” Well, it’s all little steps. It all centers around spending lots and lots of time with them.

Nancy: Yes, and I think you’re talking about entrepreneurs. Some families may feel, “Well, we’re not even that entrepreneur type.” I think they’re going to be more so that way but there’s still, I think, one of the things is the actual brainstorming of it. A lot of your children wouldn’t have done anything unless you spurred them on and talked about it and motivated them.

In our family, we have some who are not entrepreneurs, and others who are. Our eldest son is so entrepreneurial, without our even encouraging him. In fact, anything that he wanted, he would get. We never, if our children wanted something, we just didn’t go and get it for them. They had to earn it.

I can remember, as a young boy, he’d even go to the dump and find stuff he could sell to get what he needed. One time Colin and I had been away, and we were ministering overseas. We came back and he was there (I think he was only 15 or 16). He was there at the airport to meet us, and he had these documents. He said, “Dad, would you just sign this?” Colin looked at it, and he had, in our absence (there was this cool car that he wanted) and he had mortgaged our house to buy this car!

Allison: Oh, my goodness!

Nancy: Well, of course, Colin didn’t sign it. But he did help him to get it in other ways! Not through mortgaging our house! It’s amazing what he used to do to get things.

Allison: We did a conference in our town called “Raising Adults.” We had a couple of guest speakers. One of the guest speakers was extremely successful but he talked about allowing our children to fail. I thought that was so interesting because he was so successful. I thought, “That’s the subject you’re going to talk about?”

But he said it’s so important to allow our children to be able to fail. A lot of people say, “I don’t want to do a business because, what if they fail?” We run a farmer’s market, and one market I went up to all the vendors and asked, “How did you do? Are your sales good?” I went up to my own son who’s 15, and I said, “How’d you do, Asher?” He said, “I didn’t sell anything today.” I said, “Oh, man, I’m so sorry.” I really felt bad for him.

I went up to Daniel, and I said, “Man, Asher, I’m putting this market on for everyone else. Everybody else made money, but our son didn’t.” And Daniel said, “Awesome! Great! That’s wonderful!” I said, “Why would you say that?” He said, “Because he’s learning how to fail.”

Just because your son might come up with a bad idea, let him run with it. Of course, we can say, “Oh, I’m not sure if that’s going to work. Maybe try it this way.” But don’t be fearful of failure. This helicopter mom thing is so dangerous. We’re doing everything for our children so that they don’t fail. You are enabling them. You’ve got to allow them to hit rock bottom, because they’re never going to learn.

Nancy: Exactly. I think of our two eldest sons. They went out together in business in so many different things. And they failed. So many times! They fell straight on their faces. But they ended up successful.

Allison: I almost think you have to allow them. I think about, how does Ethan at 18 know how to clean an entire house and do it well? Because I let him. I let him. I don’t go around, “Oh, oh, oh don’t fold that towel that way! Fold it this way.” No, I just let him fold it. If I get it in my cupboard, and it’s in a ball, but it’s clean and doesn’t smell, I’m thrilled!

There are so many moms who are so particular about the way they do it, that they don’t allow their children to fail. Therefore, they don’t allow their children to succeed.  I think mine feel free because I’ve given them . . . I’ll end with my statement that I think is so huge, mamas, “Only do what only you can do, and delegate the rest.” If you can allow somebody else to do it, then let them do it, because you're only setting them up for failure if they don’t know how to do it.

By the time they’re 18, whether they’re a girl or a boy, they should be able to deep clean an entire house. By the time they’re 18, they should be able to run an entire household, or we’re not setting them up for success. If we want our girls to be mamas, then they should know how to run a household. There’s no way they can do that unless they’ve been allowed to do it.

Nancy: I was just talking with Halle the other day. And now Halle, is she 19 yet?

Allison: 20, just turned 20.

Nancy: Oh, yes. Married at 18. Halle is so beautiful. You look at her, and you think she’s like a little fairy. But wow! She can do anything! She was working on something. I said, “What are you working on, Halle?” “Well, you know, Mom and Dad have bought this,” what do you call it? Your property? Commercial!

Allison: Commercial property.

Nancy: You’ve bought commercial property. She was designing a whole strip mall! It was amazing! That’s just where she is. She’s a visionary, isn’t she?

Allison: Yes, we’re so excited. We just bought a whole commercial lot, and our goal is to have the whole property be all of our children’s different businesses.

Nancy: She’s got it all designed already.

Allison: And again, it goes back to when they were little. We would allow them to do big things, big-people things, because we want them to be successful.

Nancy: Well, thank you, Allison. Always so good to have you with me again. The children are getting hungry. We’d better stop and get lunch out for everybody.

“Oh Lord, we thank You so much for these times. We can get together and encourage one another in our mothering. Lord God, I pray that You will encourage each mother’s heart today, and inspire them, encourage them, bless them, Oh God, and help them to realize that pouring their lives into their home and into their family is the greatest thing they can do. They are in the very perfect will of God.

“I bless every one of you today. In the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

IT IS ENCOURAGING FOR ALL WIVES AND MOTHERS.

 

AUGUST 7 – 14, PANAMA BEACH, FLORIDA

FAMILY RETREAT, COMING UP IN LESS THAN TWO WEEKS!

DON’T MISS OUT!

There’s still some available housing.

Laguna Beach Christian Retreat,

20016 Front Beach Rd, Panama City Beach, FL 32413 ·

Contact (850) 221 1222 for housing.

(Our last retreat in Panama Beach until January and April next year).

For more information, contact Allison Hartman:

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FURTHER FAMILY RETREATS . . .

AUGUST 30 –SEPTEMBER 2, Labor Day Weekend

FAMILY RETREAT IN MISSISSIPPI

TIMBER CREEK CAMP

8113 Morton Marathon Rd, Pulaski, MS 39152, Ph: (601) 536 901

Website To register: lanfordlegacy.com

Connie Lanford (225) 335 3969

Email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

2025:

JANUARY 3 – 10, THE WINTER RETREAT IN THE SUN

FAMILY RETREAT at Laguna Beach Christian Retreat

20016 Front Beach Rd, Panama City Beach, FL 32413 · (850) 234-2502

For more information, contact Allison Hartman:

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. 850 995 9090

APRIL 16 – 23, INCLUDING EASTER WEEKEND

THE YEARLY BIG CELEBRATION!

FAMILY RETREAT at Laguna Beach Christian Retreat

20016 Front Beach Rd, Panama City Beach, FL 32413 · (850) 234-2502

Families come from all over the States so you must book in early to get accommodation!

For more information, contact Allison Hartman:

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. 850 995 9090

 

 

 

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 318: Altar Building, Part 11

Allison Hartman is with me again. We finish the last two points about what God calls a DUTY, and we get to the last point, No. 25 about Altar Building, THE FAMILY ALTAR PAVES THE WAY FOR REVIVAL! Don't miss!

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies. Allison Hartman is with me again. We’re going to be talking about a number of things, but we are continuing our series. We are at the tenth point of the Scriptures God gives us about things that are a duty. Therefore, we need to take notice.

This one is Hebrews 5:12. It’s teaching others who are younger in the faith. I’m reading from the New Living Translation for this Scripture. “You have been believers so long now that you ought (you see that word again, opheilo, which means “it is your duty”) that you ought to be teaching others. Instead you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s Word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skills to recognize the difference between right and wrong.”

So, that’s a challenge, too, isn’t it, ladies? That God wants us to be those who move onto maturity and are able to teach others. When we first come to Jesus, we are on the milk of the Word. When a baby is born, it has milk from the mother. It’s not ready for strong meat. But as the baby grows, it gets stronger, and it gets teeth. Eventually, it is able to eat solid food and even chew meat as they get teeth.

That’s normal progress physically. It should be normal progress in our spiritual life also. Dear lovely mothers, I’m sure most of you, maybe some of you, are new in the faith. You are new Christians and so you are like 1 Peter 2:2 says: “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.”

But I know that many of you have been walking with the Lord for a long time. So, what are you eating spiritually? Are you still on milk? Or are you now on the solid food? If you are maturing and have known the Lord for some time, you should, as the Bible says, it’s our duty to be teaching others.

Of course, we can really take this to us as mothers, can’t we? Because we, as mothers, are the teachers of our children. One of the biggest things we do as mothers is teach our children. We teach them everything they know when they are little. Oh, we are born to be teachers. There are some mothers who think, “Oh, I couldn’t homeschool my children! I’m not good at teaching.”

Oh yes, you are. You are a mother, and God has put in mothers that inclination, even that normality to teach. You’ve got teaching! Even your baby, from just a little baby, you teach your little baby, “Here’s your little toesie-woesies.” You’re showing them their toes, and you teach them what is their nose and their ears. Then you teach them the animals, and you begin teaching them all these little things, so they know so much. And who was their great teacher? It was you.

But the greatest thing that we are to teach our children is God’s Word. And we don’t want all our children to stay little children in the Lord. We would be getting very concerned that our children at four and five years of age were still not able to eat their food on their own, and even chew up some good meat. We would be very, very concerned. They’d obviously have a problem.

And yet, some of our children come to know Jesus at a young age. I hope so, because I believe our children should come to know the Lord at a young age. They should be growing in the Lord. What about even as our children get to the teens, are they on strong meat of the Word? Or are they still on milk?

I meet many, many young people, many even having grown up in homeschooling families. I have to tell you they don’t have any meat of the Word in them. Oh, they’ve got some milk, yes. They know the basics, but they don’t know much more. You ask them questions. They don’t even have an answer. They don’t have any meat of the Word in them.

Dear mothers, it comes back to us. Our responsibility, our duty. Here it speaks of it. It’s our duty to be on strong meat so we can be teaching it to others. The first ones we’re going to teach are our children. You don’t teach it to anybody else unless you’re first teaching your children.

Do your children even know the teaching of the tabernacle? Could they understand their salvation from the teaching of the tabernacle? That should be normal. Did you know that back in Bible days, when Paul was teaching, it tells us about this in the last book of Acts, and that every day Paul preached the kingdom from the Torah and from the Prophets. He didn’t have the New Testament. He would be teaching from all the principles and all the furniture in the tabernacle, and everything they had to do, because it was all a type of our great salvation (Acts 28:23 and 31).

When Jesus was talking to the two disciples on the way to Emmaus, the Bible says that He spoke to them from Moses, that’s the Torah, and from the Prophets (Luke 24:27). They didn’t have a New Testament then. But Jesus revealed everything about Himself from the Old Testament. What do our children know of Jesus in the Old Testament? Are we teaching them? Are they strong in the faith? Are they strong in the Word? Well, it comes back to us. What do you say, Allison?

Allison: Definitely. That was very convicting. You see in our culture this way of raising our children to where everything’s separate. Even growing up, my mom would go to ladies’ Bible studies. We would be either at home, or in the little nursery, or in the children’s programs. What you’re talking about, you have to have your children with you, either studying the Bible, Family devotions, you would do them together. You wouldn’t just cover a verse or two. You would really get in and talk about it with them.

Nancy: You notice that what we do at family devotions, it’s never Colin just reading the Word. We get onto so many things, looking up this, and looking up that, talking about this, talking about that, children discussing. Children have to be involved in the discussion and in answering the questions to really get it into their hearts and minds.

Allison: Right, so it can be their own, instead of just them regurgitating everything you just told them and they’re just repeating. They’ve got to own it.

Nancy: Yes, they do.

Allison: The best way I have found is through, when we do family devotions, we ask, “What do you think? What do you think this means?”

Nancy: Exactly. Yes, yes. And then they’ve got to think. And then, “OK, well, let’s look up this.” They’re getting it that way. I think many parents will just rely on taking their children to church on Sunday and hope they’ll get a bit of meat.

Well, many times, of course, the children are not even in the main service! They’re not even hearing the meat. They’re all out in the nursery, or they’re out in all their age group Sunday school, where they’re getting it watered down so it’s like milk for the little children.

But do you know what? We’re not wanting to keep our children as little children. We’re wanting them to grow in the Lord. Grow in the Lord so that they can take some meat!

Allison: I’ve done a podcast with you before, entitled “Raising Adults.” It’s no different than what we’re talking about right now. If I want to raise children, well then, I would put them in children’s Sunday school. If I want to raise adults, then I want to put them in an adult Sunday school.

The best adult Sunday school is around your table or bringing them in as you go to a church where you go to an actual building. We have a home church, but you have to have them in there with you. How can you discuss the service and the sermon if they weren’t in there?

Nancy: True.

Allison: If they’re listening to and watching Veggie Tales in children’s Sunday school, or listening, like you said, to a watered-down story version, you can’t share that sermon, and piece it out, and think about it, and discuss it.

Nancy: I know. And often, really, it’s just a babysitting service so the parents can concentrate. But if they have trained their children at home, and we do that, we get children coming with their Bibles, and even with a notebook.

Oh, I have loved that at some of my Above Rubies retreats, some of the most wonderful things that are such a blessing to me is to see some little children on the front row. Only five, six, seven years of age, and maybe some can only draw pictures yet. Others are beginning to write, and they’re up there. Their mothers have said, “Now, I want you to take notes for me.” Sometimes the mother’s nursing a baby.

 “I said to my child,” they’re telling me later, “I just couldn’t take notes. I was nursing. So, I got my children to.” I see what they have written. It’s unbelievable! They are actually writing down stuff that is so good. It’s so wonderful. But they’re being part of it. They’re listening to some meat!

Children can take meat if we have been growing them in it. What do we do, especially when you have your first baby? By the time you get to five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, you’re much longer starting them on solids because you just nurse away. You know, they don’t have to start on solids so early.

But when you have your first baby, you can’t wait to do everything new, and you can’t wait until they have their first little solid on a spoon. You can’t wait for every new little thing they’re going to do, because it’s another milestone, and they’re growing! Well, that’s how we should feel about their spiritual lives, isn’t it?

Allison: We were talking at family devotions just the other day with you. My husband had mentioned about back in the Bible days, even by the time they were four or five, they had memorized the Torah. We can’t even imagine!

But yeah, we were at our home church, and we were talking to a family. They had started to go to a church that they really liked, but this church only did family-integrated once a month. They loved the idea of it, but they didn’t want to do it too often. And this family thought, “How sad!” This is something we should . . . this should be common. Church should be a place where the family comes together, not the family divided.

Nancy: Well, that’s true, because in the Word, you never ever, ever saw one example of them separated. Whenever God spoke to His people to come together, He would remind them again. “Come, with the wives, and the children, and the little taphs, which is the Hebrew word for the toddlers, those little ones just tripping around. God said they’ve got to come too.

Allison: It makes church very difficult to pay attention, right?

Nancy: Yes! But God doesn’t want any of them left. He doesn’t want them out in the nursery. He wants them there. Even the nursing mothers. He specifies all these ages to come together. God created the family, and He wants the family. Today we live in a day of the fragmenting and the separation of family and all the different age groups. God is in the strengthening and the bringing-together of families.

Allison: Do you realize, it is so difficult to find a truly family-integrated church nowadays. It just doesn’t exist in many cities. But they are out there.

Nancy: That is wonderful when that can happen. But it’s like everything. It always comes back to us as mothers. The fathers, too, have a responsibility to teach the children. What does the Scripture say? “The fathers to the children shall make known Thy truth” (Isaiah 38:19). I love that Scripture.

But it also speaks of the mother’s teaching. We’re the ones who are with the children so much. We can teach them. That’s why I often, when I’m talking to young people, I don’t know whether I get through to them or not. But I believe that the greatest preparation for marriage is to be getting into the Word while you are young and before you have all the responsibilities of children all around you and waking you in the night and you’re 24/7 mothering.

But when you are single, you just have you. You have time to get into the Word, and let it get into your heart, and into your mind, so it comes out your mouth, so that when you move into motherhood, you're going to have the Scriptures coming out of your mouth. They’re going to be pouring into your children. That’s how God intends it.

What I am speaking is not just to mothers. It’s for young people. This is the time to get strong in the Word, so you are a meat eater! Oh, goodness me! Yes, we’re milk drinkers for a little while, but we dare not stay on the milk for long. We’ve got to get onto the meat and be meat eaters! Amen? If you're a meat-eater, you’re ready to teach others, which is our duty. Amen.

               No. 11. We talked about it because that’s the one we actually started with. IT’S A DUTY TO HAVE A FAMILY ALTAR

It was a duty for the priests to attend to the altars morning and evening, and, of course, we are all now priests and kings unto God.

No. 12. UNWORTHY SERVANTS SIMPLY DOING OUR DUTY

The last Scripture about duty is, I think, the most challenging of all. I’m always challenged when I read this passage. It’s a parable Jesus told. He told this parable about this servant who went out and was working for him all day long. Then he comes in, and you think, “Oh, wow! Now he can just relax! He’s worked all day for his master.”

But no. He comes in, and his master, without a word of thanks, his master says, “Put on your apron. Prepare my meal and serve me.” Then it says, “And then you can eat later.” You can read the story in Luke 17:7-10.

I think, “Wow! That is so amazing! Help!” We can hardly take that in in our culture today, because we are a culture demanding our own rights, and our entitlement of what we are entitled to. I think this is where many mothers perhaps get frustrated, and get miserable, and get down in the dumps, because they think they are entitled to their beautiful life where they can have time to do everything they want to do. They’re not yet used to this serving, laying-down-your-life kind of lifestyle, which motherhood is.

But when we get down to it, ladies, that was the lifestyle that Jesus lived. Jesus said Himself in Matthew 20:28: “I did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give My life a ransom for many.” If we can just get the right attitude, “OK, if I walk like Jesus walked, I’m going to be serving. I’m going to serve my husband. I’m going to be serving my children. I’m going to be serving others. But although it’s my duty, it’s my delight.”

At the end of this story, it says in Luke 17:10: “So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, we are unprofitable servants: we have only done that which was our duty to do.”

That was the last Scripture about duty. To me, it’s the most challenging of all. So that, even when we’ve served to the end of our serving ability, oh, wow! And we think we’ve done it all, well, Jesus says, “Just say, I’m an unprofitable servant. I’ve only just done that which is my duty. I haven’t even gone any further than that.” [laughter]

Wow! Sometimes we think we’re going the second mile when we’re trying to help somebody, and put ourselves out to help somebody, Jesus says, “You’ve only done what is your duty. That’s what you're meant to do!” That’s the Jesus lifestyle, isn’t it?

Anyway, ladies, those were the Scriptures about duty that God has given us in His Word. So now, let’s get back to our last two points about altar building. We’re going to finish them this session. I can’t believe it! How amazing!

So, this will be point . . .

No. 24. THE FIRE OF GOD FALLS AT ALTARS

We’re actually going to see more of this in point No. 25, but I want to take you back to Leviticus 6:12, 13. There, in that passage, God is telling them how to build the brazen altar. That was the altar where they did all the sacrifices. God says, “I’m going to have a fire.”

Interestingly, when they dedicated that altar, God lit the fire supernaturally. That is so amazing. But then He told the priests how they could keep it going. They had to keep it going by attending to it morning and evening because God said: “THIS FIRE MUST NEVER GO OUT.” There was always a fire at the altar. The fire must never go out.

In fact, it says we bring our children daily to this altar. That’s how we keep the fire of God burning in their hearts, because we’re coming into His presence, and we’re hearing His Word. And we’re communicating with Him. So, it keeps that fire of God burning in our hearts.

I remember once going to a family retreat where Colin and I were speaking. We were a little late. as we were flying in. We arrived and the people were singing. They were singing a hymn I hadn’t heard before. It was about the family, about Christian homes. Oh, I loved the words! This was one of the lines I picked up as they were singing.

God, give us Christian homes,

Homes where the children are led to know,

Christ in His beauty, who loves them so.

Homes where the altar fires burn and glow,

God, give us Christian homes.

I thought, “Wow! That hymn is singing about Leviticus chapter six! The fire upon the altar. This is where the name that nobody hardly ever uses today, the family altar, this is where they got this name. At this altar, where they did the sacrifices, and where the fire was never to go out. Here in this hymn, they’re talking about the altar fires, that these altar fires will burn and glow in these homes, and they’ll never grow dim!

I got up and I said, “We’ve been singing about the altar fires. Can anyone please tell me what we are singing about?” Of course, nobody knew. There wasn’t one hand that was put up! They were all singing it but not one person knew what they were singing about! So, I was able to tell them, “This is about the family altar, the altar fire in your home.” This is how we keep the fire of God burning in our homes, dear ladies.

Let’s go on to . . .

No. 25. THE FAMILY ALTAR PAVES THE WAY FOR REVIVAL

We’re going to see in this point examples of where the fire of God actually fell. But my point for this one is, the family altar is preparation for revival, because in these examples, we’ll see some of where, yes, the fire of God fell, but many other times, it was where they were repairing the altar. Every time that they repaired the altar, or the fire of God fell on the altar, wonderful things happened. Let’s look at a few of these examples, shall we?

               Number one: the example of Elijah. You all know that story in 1 Kings 18. You can go back in your own time and read that wonderful story of how Elijah challenged the prophets of Baal, and how he challenged Jezebel who had all these prophets, because she was not serving the living God. She was serving the prophets of Baal.

We know the story of how Elijah got all these prophets of Baal together. He said, “We’re both going to make a sacrifice. We’re going to see whose god will bring the fire!” Well, that was a real step of faith for him, wasn’t it?

The prophets of Baal, of course, made their altar. You know the story of how they were dancing around it, and calling out on their gods, and nothing happened. They even began cutting themselves, and going to all manner of extremities just hoping that their god would bring down fire from heaven! But no, no fire came at all. So, the day is going on, and they haven’t been able to bring fire.

Now it’s Elijah’s turn. He builds an altar. Actually, he repaired it. If you read it in the Scripture, in that chapter it says, verse 30: Elijah “repaired the altar of the Lord that was broken down.” You see, the altar was broken, so he repaired it. Sometimes in our own homes, the altar breaks down. Oh, it breaks down with our getting busy with other things that come into our lives. This poor family altar, the most important thing in our home, breaks down. We let other things take it over.

Well, anyway, Elijah is repairing it. Then he builds it up, and then he tells them to get 16barrels of water and pour it over the altar. Imagine it, water is drenching it all. Most probably there is a trench all around the altar. The water is filling it all up.

Then he prays. It was his turn to pray. He called upon God, and guess when it was? It was at the time of the evening sacrifice. Remember? They were to come to this altar every morning and every evening. It’s amazing. When we read the Word of God, God never did anything at just any old time. No, He did this at the time of the evening sacrifice.

And when Elijah prayed, it says in verses 38, 39: “The fire of the LORD fell . . . And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces: and they said, The LORD, He is the God; the LORD¸ He is the God.” So, God answered by fire at the time of the evening sacrifice, and the fire fell. Even though the altar was drenched, the fire ate up the wood and licked up the water. That was amazing. The fire of God falls at altars.

               Now let’s go to the second one, Manoah. Do you remember who Manoah was? Manoah was the father of Sampson. God came to Manoah and his wife; first to his wife and spoke to her about how they were going to have a son and how he was to be a Nazarite. His wife came and told Manoah.

My, he wanted to see this person who was telling them this too. So, the Lord came again, and this time “Manoah took a kid with a meat offering, and offered it [as a sacrifice] upon a rock, unto the Lord” (Judges 13:19). I’m sure it was the Lord. Then it goes on to say: “And the angel did wondrously,” but I’m sure it was the Lord, because he said: “unto the Lord.”

Judges 13:19, 20: “And the angel did wondrously; and Manoah and his wife looked on. For it came to pass, when the flame (the fire) went up toward heaven from off the altar, that the angel of the LORD ascended in the flame of the altar.” So, the Lord accepted Manoah’s offering, and nobody lit the fire. God once again lit this fire and ascended in the fire. So that was another time where God came with fire upon the sacrifice.

               Number three: King Asa. You can read the story of King Asa in 2 Chronicles 15. In verse 8 it says: “And when Asa heard . . . the prophecy of Oded the prophet” (obviously the prophet was coming to show him what was wrong, and what God wanted him to do). It says: “He took courage, and put away the abominable idols out of all the land of Judah and Benjamin, and . . . renewed the altar of the LORD.”

Then we see, because he renewed the altar of the Lord, we then read the blessings that happened. You have to read this chapter later, but I’ll just read a little bit now. 2 Chronicles 15:11: “And they offered unto the LORD the same time, of the spoil which they had brought, seven hundred oxen and seven thousand sheep.” Wow! What a lot of sacrifices they made!

“And [all of Judah] entered into a covenant to seek the LORD God of their fathers with all their heart and with all their soul.” This was all after they had renewed the altar. “That whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman. And they sware unto the LORD with a loud voice, and with shouting, and with trumpets, and with cornets. And all Judah rejoiced at the oath: for they had sworn with all their heart, and sought him with their whole desire; and he was found of them: and the LORD gave them rest.”

Also, Asa got rid of his mother. Yes, and “he removed her from being queen, because she had made an idol.” He eliminated everything! Wow, amazing things happen when you renew the altar of the Lord. If yours is broken down, or you’ve been forgetting about it, renew that altar.

               Number four: Manasseh. Oh, he was such a wicked, wicked, wicked king! But God came to him, and through circumstances, I haven’t got time to talk about them today. Go to 2 Chronicles 33, and you can read all about it.

He humbled himself and repented. And what happened, when he humbled himself and repented? It says in verse 16: “And he repaired the altar of the LORD, and sacrificed thereon peace offerings and thank offerings, and commanded Judah to serve the LORD God of Israel.”

So, that was the fruit of his repentance. It was to repair the altar of the Lord. And then, the Bible happened. He commanded the whole land, all of Judah, to serve the Lord. So, they began to all serve the Lord instead of other gods. Isn’t that amazing?

               Next one: David. Oh, this is an incredible story. You can read about it in two places, actually. 1 Chronicles 21. You can also read it in 2 Samuel 24. Read the story in both places. It’s a powerful story.

David has sinned against the Lord, and the Lord came to him and said, “I’ve got to punish you, David.” Because God is a God of justice. God gave him an opportunity. God said, “Three things. Which will you choose?” David said, “I’m going to choose, Lord, falling into Your hands, not to my enemies.”

So, God did bring judgement upon the land. God brought a plague, and thousands were dying from this plague. David was desperate. Oh, he was so full of repentance! He knew he had to make an altar to the Lord. So, he came to this guy, and he said, “Please, please, can I build this altar at your place?” We talked about this in a recent podcast.

He said, “Yes, yes, you can have my threshing floor, and you can have all my animals. Have what you like, King David.” David said, “No, I will not do anything. I will not sacrifice to the Lord that which cost me nothing.” And David paid him.

But let’s get onto this part. 1 Chronicles 21:26: “And David built there an altar unto the LORD, and offered burnt offerings . . . and called upon the LORD; and He answered him from heaven by fire upon the altar of burnt offering.” God sent the fire, and God stopped the plague.

Yes, powerful things happen when we make an altar to the Lord. Maybe you are going through a very difficult time in your family’s life. Even things that are just not right. Oh, there’s upheaval in your family. You’re not even facing what David was. He was facing a plague, and thousands were dying. God answered him by fire.

Make an altar to the Lord. Begin your family altar. Gather your children around with your husband and begin the family altar. You will see God do wonderful things.

All right, just two more examples.

               In the dedication of the tabernacle in Leviticus 9:24, it says that when they dedicated that altar, God answered by fire.

               Then also later, when they built the temple, and now Solomon is king. In 2 Chronicles 7:1, once again, they are dedicating this altar now, the new altar. This was in the temple. What happens? God comes and answers by fire. Supernaturally. It was fire from heaven. Nobody else lit it.

Dear ladies, when we make an altar, it prepares the way for revival. I believe if every God-believing family would begin, and continue, and be faithful to the family altar in their home, with their children, that we would see a great revival in this nation. Great and mighty things would happen!

Oh, time is up. Well, can you believe it, ladies? We got to our last point about the altar! These points are so powerful. I think one day, when you have time, you need to go back and listen to them again and go through the Scriptures. Let’s pray.

“Lord, we thank You so much that You do not leave us ignorant, but You show us the way. Lord God, You even show us the way for revival. Lord, help us to be those who prepare Your way for revival. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

IT IS ENCOURAGING FOR ALL WIVES AND MOTHERS.

 

 

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 317: Altar Building, Part 10

Allison Hartman from Pensacola joins me to today and we talk about our great July 4^th Celebration. We also continue to discuss the things in God's word that He tells us are a duty to do.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello ladies! Great to be with you. This is July 4^th weekend. Well, we’ve already had July 4^th. Because of that, we have the Hartman family staying with us again. They’ve come up to stay with us for every July 4^th, which, of course, makes July 4^th even more wonderful.

Once again, we had the most wonderful, wonderful day, celebrating our liberty from the tyranny of the English, even though we are actually English descent. But now we are American citizens. Oh, we had such a wonderful day!

So, Allison is with me. Say hi!

Allison Hartman: So happy to be here! Every year it’s such a great day too.

Nancy: What did you love best about July 4^th this year?

Allison: You know what? I had a great time at the creek after lunch.

Nancy: We actually have two celebrations. We all meet together for a party-like lunch. We come together over at the wedding barn. We used to, previously, before we had the barn, we used to all be out by the creek, but in the sun, sweltering. So now, we actually love it where we don’t have to swelter in the sun while we eat.

We begin by saying the Pledge of Allegiance. We get very patriotic, and we say the Pledge of Allegiance together. We have two or three guys who share something about this nation. In fact, your husband Daniel spoke out, how many declarations was it? It was quite a number.

Allison: About ten or fifteen declarations.

Nancy: Declarations that we could actually . . . affirm each declaration. We all said, “Yes,” and “Amen” after it. Then we sang, of course, the national anthem. Then “America the Beautiful.” We’ve always had that tradition. Then we eat together. Then you went to the creek. Did you have a good time there?

Allison: We had a great time at the creek. Just really good fellowship. I got to visit with Courtney Kelly. Such a precious lady. Instead of just talking about nothing, we really got to talk about some good stuff. It’s really iron sharpening iron. It was good. It was great. I love learning from other mothers on how they’re doing things.

Nancy: Yes, there’s nothing like iron sharpening iron, is there?

Allison: Then there were great fireworks afterwards.

Nancy: Oh, yes. Then in the evening we come here to our home, and we have a barbeque. Then we have fireworks. How many would we have had at the luncheon? Over a hundred people or more. And then, even more at the barbeque.

Allison: I think the evening was bigger.

Nancy: Oh, it was huge! People, people, people, people! Filling our lawn, and young people playing volleyball; little ones lighting off their little sparklers. And then, oh, every year we have a huge fireworks.

Allison: Every year it’s getting bigger.

Nancy: It’s getting bigger because these young people, you know, our young marrieds get a bigger vision every year. This year they actually went round with the hat. [laughter]. A few days before, they were getting everybody to give towards this. They said it’s got to be even bigger. It was huge! We don’t have little fireworks! It is huge. It was incredible this year.

Allison: It was as big as a city, what a city does with their fireworks.

Nancy: Anyway, it started to rain, just as they were going to do it! But praise the Lord, we all came inside for fellowship. Then it cleared, and it was so amazing! It was like a real victory celebration of liberty, wasn’t it?

Allison: Yes, it was. Definitely.

Nancy: It was such a great day!

Allison: We get to see all the folks up here again every year. It’s wonderful.

ETIQUETTE LUNCHEON

Nancy: That was such a big day! Then yesterday, the next day, wow! We got pulled into another thing, didn’t we? Nadia, who’s one of the folks in our fellowship with her children had this vision to put on an etiquette luncheon. We thought, “Help! Do we have to do that? We just want to hang out and relax!” But we all got pulled into it and we all loved it! [laughter]

Allison: We loved it! In fact, we loved it so much, I got in the car, and I talked with Eden, our daughter. I said, “We need to make this part of our big Family Camp.” She was getting so excited about it! She said, “Yes, we could do this, and we could do this!”

We decided that we should, at the Camp, we’re going to teach on etiquette. Then we’re going to practice it by letting all the young people dress up in really, really, really fancy outfits and have a big dinner together, and practice the etiquette.

It's interesting. I was talking to Samuel Mutana (Nadia’s son) and my Levi. I asked them, “Of all the etiquette things that we talked about, which ones would you want to try to put into your life?” Samuel Mutana said he would love to start doing what I talked about; when a lady enters a room, all the gentlemen would stand up, and then sit back down. He said he’s never even heard of that, which is just amazing.

Nancy: That is so funny, because it was his mother, who . . .

Allison: It was his mother! He admitted he doesn’t know or follow a lot of this etiquette which is why she was doing it. I was like, “Wow! That’s so amazing!”

Nancy: Yes, and it’s so biblical, you know. When a gray-haired man comes into the room, you are to stand. That was just normal etiquette. So much of etiquette has been lost. But we won’t get onto that subject now.

Allison: We could talk all day!

Nancy: I’ve done an etiquette series, which you can go back and look for. But there’s always so much, isn’t there? It was so great. The boys, some of them came in their suits and ties. Of course, they were learning how to escort a lady to the table, even down to the darling little ones, with little Selah and Ezra (Allison’s youngest). Wasn’t that so beautiful? I think they thought they were so neat, being escorted to the table, didn’t they?

Allison: Everything is so much fun.

Nancy: Well, ladies, we are at the tail end of our series on “Altar Building.” Actually, Allison and I have quite a lot of things in our hearts. We love to talk with you, but I said, “Well, we’ve got to finish this series first.” So, I think we’re going to sit here for a bit today and do podcasts for you. I said to Allison, “Well, you’ve got to come with me, and we’ll talk together about these last points of our altar building.”

We’re up to point No. .23. IT IS OUR DUTY TO ESTABLISH THE FAMILY ALTAR.  We read back in the Old Testament that it was the duty that was required every day, for the priests to attend to the altars. We talked about that last time.

But then I wanted to carry it on further, because when I’m talking about something, I can never just say, “OK, the Word of God says this.” I have to find out everything the Word of God says! It not only talks about it being a duty to attend to the altar and to establish an altar (that means our gathering ourselves together to meet with the Lord as a family).

But there are many things in the Word that God calls our duty. I think it’s good to know what they are. So, we’re looking into them. I spoke about two last time, and now we’re up to number three.

               The third one is WALKING AS JESUS WALKED. That’s a tall order, isn’t it?

1 John 2:6 “He that saith he abideth in Him ought . . .” That word “ought” in the Greek is opheilo, which means, “it is our duty.” So, when we read the word “ought,” that’s in the King James (I’m not sure what it is in your translation) but “He that saith he abideth in Him ought (that means it’s our duty to walk) “even as He walked.”

Wow! I wonder. How can we walk as Jesus walked? Well, I think that’s talking about abiding. “He that saith he abideth in Him;” we can only do it as we abide in Him and He abides in us, and His Word abides in us. I think a lot of it is about His Word abiding in us, because we really can’t even walk as He walked if we don’t know His Word.

And that’s the most wonderful thing about having our family devotions. That’s where we get to know His Word. Even this morning, as we all gathered around the Word this morning, the theme in The Daily Light on the Daily Path, which we read every day (it’s just Scriptures but Scriptures on a certain theme). The theme was all about our tongues and watching the words that come out of our mouths, and how if we have a soft and listening heart, we will be willing to receive reproof even.

So, we are encouraged in the way we’re meant to walk. We’re challenged again about what is coming out of our mouths. Are we only allowing to come out of our mouths the words that Jesus would want to come out of our mouths? Every day, as we’re reading the Word personally, and as a family, we’re knowing and learning more of how Jesus walks. And so, we’re learning to walk as He walked, which the Bible says is our duty. Isn’t that amazing? Any comments, Allison?

Allison: No, it’s good. You’re right. You said this morning how we typically think of that word “duty” as a negative. But you think of our military. They even say it’s their duty, their duty to serve their country. You can look at it as not honor. It’s something we get to do. It’s not something we have to do. We get to do it.

Nancy: If it’s a duty to serve a country, wow! That’s so little, compared to our duty to serve God!

               No. 4. Wow, listen to this one! LAYING DOWN OUR LIVES FOR OUR FELLOW BELIEVERS

1 John 3:16: “Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought (it’s our duty) “to lay down our lives for the brethren,” for the people of God. Wow! When we read the Scriptures, we have to know how to take them in, do we?

Help! This Scripture is saying that we’re to love our fellow brethren like Christ loved us and laid His life down. Oh, I know I feel, and we all, and I do, fall so short of this, don’t we? But may the Lord help us. This is not something we might do just for those who are close to us. But Jesus even laid down His life for His enemies, didn’t he? So, once again, it’s a duty. Wow! You can look at these Scriptures again and meditate of them. Share them with your children.

               No. 5: SHOWING HOSPITALITY AND PROVIDING FOR TRAVELING MISSIONARIES

3 John 1:5-8: “Beloved, thou doest faithfully whatsoever thou doest to the brethren, and to strangers . . .We therefore ought  (there’s the word again, it’s our duty) “to receive such, that we might be fellow helpers to the truth.”

That Scripture is saying that when we show hospitality to those who are serving the Lord, and we help them financially, and in the preaching and the teaching of the gospel, that we’re co-workers with them. We’re companions with them in spreading the truth. The Bible says we ought, we ought to be doing this.

Romans 15:27 in the New Living Translation says: “Since the gentiles received the spiritual blessings of the Good News from the believers in Jerusalem, they feel the least they can do in return is to help them financially.” In the King James Version, it says it is their duty to help them financially.

               No. 6. HUSBANDS ARE TO LOVE THEIR WIES AS THEIR OWN BODIES

Ephesians 5:28: “Even so, husbands should and are morally obligated,” I’m reading from the Amplified. That word “morally obligated” there is the same word in the Greek. “It’s their duty to love their own wives as being in a sense their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.”

So, we did talk last time about how God also speaks to both husbands and wives, that it is the duty of each one to yield themselves to the other in intimacy. That’s a duty but also a delight. But here it’s speaking specifically to the husbands.

I’m not speaking to husbands. I speak to wives and mothers. But I’m bringing this Scripture in because it’s there in the Word. Wouldn’t it be wonderful though, if husbands knew that this was their duty? Not only because they love their wives, but it’s their duty to love them like Christ loves the church.

It’s so sad, isn’t it, how feminists have this hate for men. It’s so sad. Of course, we know that, yes, many of them maybe have suffered from the hands of men who don’t know God’s ways. Men who don’t know God can be so ruthless with women, but we have to realize that that’s not God. That’s not God’s way at all.

It’s so sad that the world has this absolute antipathy against the word “patriarchy.” Oh, they don’t like that word “patriarchy” because that means that the man is the head of the home and how dare he rule his home? But patriarchy in the Bible, patriarchy from God’s heart is the most beautiful thing, because this man, yes, he’s leading his home. But a true man of God’s patriarchy is loving his wife like Christ loves the church. It’s his duty to do it according to the Bible. So the Bible lays out the way for the most blessed marriages on earth! Amen?

Allison: Amen.

Nancy:

            No. 7. WASHING ONE ANOTHERH’S FEET

You all know the story of how Jesus washed the feet of His disciples. After He had done that, it tells us in John 13:13: “Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought (do you notice? There is the word “duty” again. Duty. It’s your duty) “to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.”

It was a common thing back there to wash the feet of people as they came into the home. Usually it was the job of the servant. As people came in with their sandals off the dusty road, their feet were full of sand and dust. The servant would wash their feet before they came into the home, and brought all the sand in with them.

I’m just thinking even here, over this time, because we have a volleyball court out there. All the guys are playing volleyball. I think it was just the other morning, there was so much sand! We swept the floor, and then they all came in. We’re having devotions together, and help! The whole floor was full of sand again! So we swept the floor again. Sand and dirt comes in so easily from outside.

But not so much really in our day like it did back there, walking those dusty roads. They needed to wash their feet before they could come in and bring all that dirt with them. But this time, it wasn’t the servant who washed their feet. It was Jesus Himself.

We may not be washing one another’s feet as we come in. We don’t do that today. But it’s the spirit of serving even the lowliest thing. It was the lowliest job to wash the feet. It was a servant’s job but Jesus took the place of the servant. He says, “I want you to do that, too. Take the servant’s role. Take the servant’s attitude. That’s your duty to do it because that’s what I did, and I’ve shown you what to do.” So, once again, we read these things, but we have to be reminded they’re actually a duty. My, I’m challenged. I’ve got a lot of work to do myself.

Allison: Right.

Nancy: Oh, I’ve got lots of Scriptures here about how Jesus wants us to be a servant. I’ll put them in the transcript for you.

               No. 8. BEARING WITH THE FAILINGS OF THE WEAK

In Romans 15:1, it says: “We then that are strong ought (there it is again - “ought” it’s our duty) “to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”

It’s so easy, isn’t it, to please ourselves, to do what we want to do. We can be strong in the Lord, and oh goodness, we don’t have much patience for those who are so weak. They really don’t know how to walk in victory, and they’re always failing, and this and that. But what does God want us to do? He wants to bear their infirmities, come alongside, help them, lift them up, encourage them. He wants it to be our duty.

When we read these Scriptures, we see the heart of God, don’t we? We see the heart of Jesus. It’s all about serving, isn’t it? It’s all about serving. And all these Scriptures about serving, He brings in that it’s your duty, because we are walking the Jesus’ walk, “That’s the way that I walk,” Jesus said.

1 Thessalonians 5:14: “Comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.” I think of my husband. He really fulfills this Scripture, right throughout the years of our pastoring in New Zealand, then Australia, and now here in the States. We’ve had so many interesting people come into our lives. Wow! I could keep you all day sharing about some of them.

They were often people, outcasts, people who nobody else would have anything to do with. But somehow they’ve become Colin’s friends. He encourages them and lifts them up. It was amazing to see what God did with those people’s lives, just because someone was willing to believe in them.

               No. 9. THANKING GOD FOR ONE ANOTHER

Paul writes in 2 Thessalonians 1:3 and in 2:13: “We are bound . . .(Now, that’s the same word, we have a duty) “to give thanks always to God for you, brethren beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth.” We are encouraged and told that it’s our duty to give thanks for one another, to think about others.

Butt in! Say anything you want!

Allison: It’s all good.

Nancy: I’m talking a lot. I remember, years ago, this was back in New Zealand. I was just a young mother. Isn’t it amazing where God can speak to you? Yes, He speaks to you when you’ve got the Bible in front of you and you’re listening to Him speak. But sometimes He speaks in the middle of you doing something so ordinary.

I remember, I was walking over the threshold of my doorstep, carrying a big carton of groceries. I’d just come in from doing the shopping. And I heard the voice of God so clearly in my heart. He said these words:

“Nancy, how can I reveal to you the needs of others if you’re always thinking about yourself?”

Wow! I was struck dead! I stopped in my tracks. I actually heard God say it. And how true. You see, we only have a certain amount of emotional capacity. If we are using all that up on ourselves, thinking about ourselves, about me. Usually, when we think about ourselves, it’s “Poor me.”

I can remember way back in the days, in my early days of mothering, I didn’t know how to walk in victory the way I do now. I can remember many times, just crying. And who was I crying for? I wasn’t in intercession crying for some person who was in need. I was crying for myself! “Poor me! I have to go through this! Why do I have to put up with this?”

I beg your pardon! How ridiculous! I think self-pity is one of the most debilitating things in the whole of the world. It brings a person down to the very pits. I believe it’s from the pit of hell. If we have self-pity, we need to cast it out in the Name of Jesus. I learned, as I went along in my walk with the Lord how to cast it out, and not listen to it, because it’s just debilitating, and it does not help.

What happens when you are thinking of yourself? You don’t have room for others. You don’t have room in your mind. You must give God room in your heart and in your emotional capacity to be aware of the needs of others. I’ve never forgotten that word. We have to give God room, room in our minds and our hearts to think of others and think of how we can encourage them. Then God began to show me there were others.

I remember back in the church we were in there, in Palmerston North, New Zealand. At that time, I had started Above Rubies. I was gung-ho in doing this great ministry. But then, I had to think, “Oh, but there are others doing other ministries. They’re important. Am I taking time to encourage them?”

I thought of one of the lovely young mother in our church. She was fostering children. I thought, “Wow! She’s doing a great job. Out of her heart she’s blessing needy children.” I felt the Lord wanted me to go and visit her, encourage her, and bless her, and just tell her what a great work she was doing.

In our thinking of others, and thanking God for others, we’ve got to give God room. There’s another Scripture that says: “Let not every man think on his own things, but every man also on the things of others” (Philippians 2:4). How much do we think on our own things? And we’re not thinking of the things of others.

I love it when I wake up sometimes, and I wake up thinking of someone I haven’t even thought of for so many years. I know they need prayer. I’m burdened for them and I’m praying for them. God wants to do this because He has us all on His heart. But He wants each one of us to be praying for one another, and thanking God for one another. And guess what? Because it’s our duty.

Allison: I have to share with you. The person that comes to my mind when I think of this is probably the Schrums.

Nancy: Oh! Oh! Yes!

Allison: I’m so encouraged to watch their life. Everything they do in their lives is other-focused.

Nancy: Oh yes! Now, who are the Schrums? They are actually a family who are living right next to us in their RV. They have been, is it two or three years now?

Allison: Probably three years now.

Nancy: Yes, the time has gone. God led them here and they have bought land up on the Hilltop. We live on the Hilltop, but they live on the real Hilltop, because they go up even further than us! They came with this vision to build here.

But we have watched them. They have even put aside their vision to help others. I’ve watched them help others build up on the Hilltop, others who are struggling financially and they’ve helped them establish their houses even before doing their own. They should have been doing their own! But no. I’ve never seen people who think of others like them. They have helped others and they’re always helping others. Now, they’re actually starting, a few months ago.

Allison:  They started with their own house. Their house is being built with intentions of wanting to serve people in their house.

Nancy: Yes! Everything is, “How can we serve others? Yes, now we’re building this house at the same time where we can have people staying. We’re doing this. Everything is how we can bless others!”

Allison: It’s so inspiring.

Nancy: It’s so amazing. Every single day, Michele is out somewhere serving, helping someone. I’ve never met such servants in my life.

Allison: What a neat thing to do.

Nancy: Oh, by the way, Michelle did do some podcasts. Go back and look up “Michele Schrum.” She did some podcasts. You’d love to hear from her.

Allison: “Michele” is just one “l,” right?

Nancy: I can’t remember. [laughter]

Allison: But what I was going to say is, they’re such happy people. They live such a wonderful like. Just to watch, they’re purposeful, they’re intentional on helping others. It’s just so inspiring. Daniel and I were talking in the car yesterday about them. He said, “I just don’t think I’ve ever seen a family like them.” She would be, “Oh goodness! Don’t talk about me!” But I think it’s good for us to see an example in our current lives, and then strive. Because, like you said, it’s our duty, but that isn’t a negative. They look at it as a positive.

Nancy: Oh! Their lives are filled with serving, but filled with joy!

Allison: Sure!

Nancy: Oh, yes! They would testify they have the most wonderful life.

Allison: Absolutely.

Nancy: Amen! Oh goodness me! We always go to the next one. We’d better finish. We’ll do this in the next session, OK?

“Lord, we thank You again for Your Word. Lord, Your Word continually speaks to us. I ask, Lord, I don’t want to just read it, and pass on, Lord, just pass on, and not take it in. Lord God, these precious words we’ve read today, I pray that You’ll help us all to make them part of our lifestyle, that we would truly walk, Lord Jesus, as You walked.

“Oh, Father, help us to be truly servants, as You came to serve. You did not come to be served and waited on. But You came to serve, and to give Your life a ransom for many.

“Lord God, I pray for every precious mother and daughter and whoever else is listening today, that You will bless them. Also, Lord, come into all our lives, and help us to live the way You want us to. We ask in the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

IT IS ENCOURAGING FOR ALL WIVES AND MOTHERS.

P.S. Scriptures to look up about being a servant: (Matthew 20:26-28; 23:11; Mark 10:43-45; Luke 7:28; 22:24-27; Philippians 2:5-8; and 1 Peter 2:21).