I WAS WRONG! 

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24).

I have always taught that Oneness is the first principle of marriage. However, I was wrong. Before God speaks about becoming “one flesh,” He first introduces three basic principles for marriage. How could I not see that before?

THE FRUITFUL ANOINTING

The first one, of course, is mandated in the very first words that God ever spoke into the ears of man, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish (fill) the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion…” (Genesis 1:28).

Fruitfulness is the overriding blessing God has given to marriage. God is a God who loves fruitfulness and He looks for fruitfulness in each marriage. It is the first blessing that He gave to man, for these words were not only a mandate from God, but His blessing. Genesis 1:28 says, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful…” This blessing is reiterated all through the Bible. Psalm 107:38 says, “He blesses them and they multiply greatly.”

The divine plan of “one flesh” marriage is to embrace the spirit of fruitfulness.

THE HELPING WIFE

The next thing we read about God’s plan for marriage is in Genesis 2:18, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helpmeet for him.”

The Hebrew word for helpmeet is ezer and means “helper, to come to one’s aid.” Although the husband and wife work together in their powerful directive to take dominion on this earth for God, He specifically gave the ministry of helping to the wife. Is this insignificant? No, it is powerful. This is the first time ezer is used in the Bible, and yet it is the same word that is used to describe God, who is our “Help and my deliverer” (Psalms 40:17) The spirit of helping, in the same way God comes to our aid to help us, is also the backdrop of “one flesh” marriage.

THE CLEAVING HUSBAND

We read in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife.” The word cleave in the Hebrew is dabaq and means “to cling or adhere to, abide, follow hard after, be joined together, to stick to.” A husband is to be totally faithful to his wife. He is to be glued to his wife. He has no other rival than his wife.

It is also true that the wife is to cleave to her husband, but this characteristic is particularly pinned on the husband. God never intended a man and woman to become “one flesh” except in the confines of a faithful and covenantal marriage. It is not an independent act. Fruitfulness, faithfulness, and helpfulness are the basis of this godly institution.

Ramban writes, “First one must cleave to his wife, then they will become one flesh. There can be no true oneness of the flesh without first experiencing a cleaving together of the heart.”

THE ONE FLESH ANOINTING

With God’s full understanding of faithfulness and fruitfulness we embrace the “one flesh” marriage. Yes, it also means that we are to be one in spirit, purpose, and vision. But, it is physical “one flesh.” We are to embrace this wholly as it is the heat of the marriage relationship. Oops. I just made a typing error! meant to type, “the heart of the marriage,” but I think we could also call it the “heat of the marriage.”

God reiterates this vision in the New Testament in Matthew 19:4-5 and again in 1 Corinthians 7:4-5, “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not.”

Because God said, “they shall be one flesh,” it should be a familiar part of each marriage. He did not say that they would be occasionally one flesh, but one flesh. I am sure that means consistently one flesh. However, because many couples have not embraced the foundational principles for “one flesh” that God established, they do not walk in the full anointing of “one flesh” that God intends. To experience the fullness of God’s plan, we have to embrace it all, not just what we think suits us.

Reuven Bulka writes, “Marriage is not simply living the same as before but with someone else. Nor is it simply a change of lifestyle with added benefits and duties. Marriage is, and should be lived, as a higher dimension of existence. All that goes on prior to marriage ideally prepares for marriage, but marriage itself is a fresh start in the way life was meant to be.”

We should not expect to live our marriage according to the status quo of couples who choose their own way for marriage. We must embrace a higher way, a way that transcends the natural for it is God-planned. Embrace God’s way and all that He has planned for you in your marriage.

Love from Nancy Campbell

www.aboverubies.org

PRAYER:

“Thank you, Father, for showing me the way you want me to live my marriage. I thank you that your way is the way that brings joy, blessing and peace. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

I am embracing all that God has designed for my marriage.

YOUR REWARD WILL COME

“He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly;
and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully” (2 Corinthians 9:6).

My heart overflows with thankfulness each morning as I enter my garden to pick another harvest. And it grows overnight! I pick a huge basket of cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, okra and so on each morning and there’s another huge basket to pick the next morning. I am in awe of God. I can’t help exclaiming every morning, “Thank you, Lord for your amazing bounty.”

I remember springtime when it was time to plant. I had just arrived home from Europe where Colin and I were ministering. I came home with a debilitating cough and was quite ill. I had to get out the next issue of Above Rubies, proofread and edit Serene and Pearl’s book, Trim Healthy Mama, and the garden was waiting to plant. I didn’t know how I could gather up the energy to plant the garden. I was tempted to forget about it. But, I knew if I didn’t do it, we wouldn’t have a harvest in the summer. And of course, you know my favorite affirmation, “Things don’t just happen; you have to make them happen.” So I went out, and in my weakness and continual coughing, planted anyway.

Now, every day I am amazing at the bounty and glory of my garden. And I am humbled to realize that I can’t take any credit for it. All I did was plant. My dear husband watered. But, God caused it to grow. He gives the increase. I think of the Scripture in 1 Corinthians 3:6-7, “I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that given the increase.”

My 19 year old grandson, Zadok is now market gardening. He’s called “Zadok, the Natural Farmer.” He also shared with me yesterday how every vegetable he picks, He looks upon it as a gift from God. He knows he can’t make one plant grow. It is all God. Of course, he works hard to prepare the ground and sow. We often hear the Rota-tiller still going at 2.00 am in the morning!

Dear mother, it is the same in your high calling of motherhood. All you have to do is sow and water and God will do the rest. There are times when you feel weak, you feel overwhelmingly tired, you may even be sick, or you feel the job is too big for you. Can I encourage you to keep planting anyway? Even in your weakness, even in your inadequacy, don’t give up.

There will be times that you will sow with tears, tears of tiredness, sadness, and heartache. Keep sowing. Be encouraged with God’s promise, “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him” (Psalm 126:5-6).

Be faithful to plant the “precious” seeds of God’s truth into the hearts of your children every day. Be faithful with Family Devotions morning and evening. As you are faithful to plant God’s Word into their lives and water it with prayer, God will do the rest. You don’t make it grow. Only God can do that. He will work His harvest in their lives. Without a doubt, you will reap your harvest and give God the glory.

The Word is able to save their souls (Psalm 19:7; 2 Timothy 3:15; James 1:21), keep them from sin (Psalm 119:9, 11), teach them wisdom (Psalm 19:7), conform them to the image of His Son (Romans 8:29; 2 Corinthians 3:18) and guide them in the way God wants them to go (Psalm 119:105; Proverbs 6:20-23).

Plants seeds of love, patience, encouragement, and affirmation and watch them grow.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

www.aboverubies.org 

PRAYER:

“Dear Father, please help me to be faithful to sow into the hearts of my children. I thank you for your eternal promise that tells me that I will reap a precious harvest as I sow your precious truths. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

No matter what my circumstances I will keep sowing.

PREPARING FOR THE FUTURE

"David said, Solomon my son is young and tender, and the house that is to be builded for the Lord must be exceeding magnificent, of fame and of glory throughout all countries: I will therefore now make preparation for it. So David prepared abundantly before his death" 1 Chronicles 22:5

Although David had a vision to build God's house, God told him that he would not be the one to build it. Instead his son, Solomon, who was maybe only 20 years when he came to the throne, would build the house. But, that didn't let David off the hook. He prepared everything that Solomon would need to build this "exceeding magnificent" house. In fact, the Bible says that "he prepared abundantly before his death." He prepared gold, silver, iron, brass, and cedar trees in "abundance." He organized "workers of stone and timber" and "all manner of cunning men for every manner of work" to enable him.

This also gives us a vision for the next generation. Young people can start preparing for the home they will build for the Lord while they are in their parent's household. This is where they learn to build as they see the way their parents build.

We should provide all we can to prepare them for their marriage and the family God will give to them. Some of this will be material things that they will need for their home. I think it is a good idea to encourage our daughters to have a Hope Chest, or a Glory Box* as we call it Downunder. This gives them an incentive to put things away for their home, rather than wasting their money on useless and unnecessary things that are unneedful.

However, we should provide more than material things. We provide an opportunity for them to learn and know what is needed to build a marriage and home. I think this is one of the most beautiful blessings of homeschooling. Because daughters are in the home, they learn how to manage a home. They learn how to cook for a big family, how to organize a home, maybe how to begin a home business, and in the art of teaching as they teach younger siblings. They don't come into marriage unprepared, untrained, and confused. They come prepared and ready to embrace a family and establish a strong and godly home that will affect the nation.

As you know, I have young ladies who come to stay in our home to help with the ministry of Above Rubies. Most of them are girls who have graduated from homeschooling and are between the ages of 17 - 25. Colin and I constantly say that "We have the cream of America come to us." At the moment I have four wonderful girls. I call them "The cream on top of the cream!"

As I was writing this devotion I thought I would ask them about their lives at home. Mariah is the oldest of 11 children. What does she do at home? She cooks all the meals for the family and does all the grocery shopping, learning how to shop economically and balance the family finance. She handles the laundry and helps school the younger children. Her mother is free to give more time to homeschooling the older children and other household management. Mariah also shared that she learns so much from her mother as she observes her attitude in the home and toward her husband. As she learns from her mother how to show respect to her father, she is preparing for marriage and how to respect her future husband. And, she knows how to manage a very busy office, which she does here very efficiently.

I talked to Lisa. She is the oldest of 10 children. She also does meal planning, grocery shopping, gardening, canning, and laundry. She said she is learning how to find better and efficient ways to handle the laundry for 12 people in the home (and I am sure there is plenty with eight brothers).As well as this, she has her own business of teaching the piano to 33 students. They are also an amazing singing family and sing together at many functions. How I love it when their family come to the Wisconsin Above Rubies Family Retreat and sing for us.

We also have Jackie with us. Jackie is one of eight children. Once again, she helps keep the family running smoothly with grocery shopping, cooking, canning, and laundry. They also have a big garden and she helps her sister in the spring who has a green house business. She teaches her siblings science and history.

Each summer she directs a musical drama in their community, including a live orchestra, which is a huge project. She has already directed Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and Fiddler on the Roof. Oh yes, she sews for friends, too. My, she is the most amazing seamstress. She has been sewing the most wonderful aprons for Above Rubies readers while she has been with us (which will soon be available on www.aboverubies.org). Keep checking.

They are also a singing family and perform at churches, women's meetings, historical societies, and nursing homes.

Daughters who are at school and then off to college and away from the home do not have the same opportunity for family training. Many of these young ladies come into marriage with no idea of how to cook, manage a home, and often without a vision for children. Instead they have been programmed with a humanistic and feministic mindset which is a negative in establishing a marriage and family.

What about our sons? Once again homeschooling is a great blessing as fathers can often include their sons in their daily business. Fathers have more responsibility than sending their children off to school. They need to teach them how to work hard and hopefully how to build their own home. I love to see my sons-in-law periodically take their sons with them to their work so they can learn how to do a day's work and also learn how to run a business. Instead of being immature boys, they become "plants grown up in their youth" (Psalm 144:12).

Zadok, at 19 years is already establishing his market garden business. He is called, "Zadok, the Natural Farmer" and we often hear the Rota-tiller still going at 2.00 am in the morning! Arden, at 14 years, has also caught the vision and is ready to plough up their field and get going in the organic growing business too.

 How can we prepare abundantly for our sons and daughters to build strong families if they are not home? How can we prepare them to be parents if we have stopped babies coming into the home and they do not see their mother nursing and caring for little ones?

David made sure he provided everything that was needed for the building of the house before he died. We should also make sure we leave a legacy on how to build a great marriage and family to our children and grandchildren before we pass away.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL
www.aboverubies.org

* Here is a poem I wrote for my adopted daughters when we gave them a cedar "Glory Box" for Christmas one year.

My Glory Box

I dream of the day I’ll walk down the aisle
In a pure white dress with a beautiful style!

I pray for my man that he’ll be righteous and true,
Hard-working, faithful, and really “true blue”!

I pray he’ll love children and have a father’s heart
And from our marriage covenant never depart!

I will wait with patience for this godly man
And while I am waiting I’ll prepare and plan.

I’ll make myself ready in every way
Purifying my heart and character each day.

I’ll seek to be honest in all that I say
To keep my marriage from going astray.

I’ll fill my “glory box” with goods for my home
And make it a place from where we’ll never roam.

I will gather treasures, useful and rare
To make our home a place that is fair.

I will be ready to make my home a delight
Filled with God’s presence, His love, and light,

Enhanced by the assets I save in this chest
To make our home a “glory," the very best!

Mom Campbell

BALANCED PARENTING

“Thus saith the Lord, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: but let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the Lord which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth, for in these things I delight, saith the Lord” (Jeremiah 9:23-24).

Isn’t this the most wonderful Scripture? I memorized it recently.

The more we know God, the more we know how to live. The more we understand of God, the more we understand how to parent, because He is the originator of parenting.

God is so vast, beyond the imagination of our finite minds, and not one name is enough to describe Him. In this Scripture we see three attributes of His character which are inseparable from Him.

LOVINGKINDNESS

This Hebrew word, chesed is one of the most wonderful revelations of God in the entire Bible and is closely related to “grace” in the New Testament. It reveals His unfailing love even when we don’t deserve it, His mercy, His forgiveness, His loyalty, His goodness, and His kindness.

But, it is not a general kindness; it is a kindness which involves two parties. It speaks of God’s covenant with Israel which is an everlasting covenant. His dealings with Israel show how He deals with us. Because of their waywardness and rebellion, God had to continually judge and punish His people. Because He is God, He cannot let go His justice and righteousness, and must execute judgment on sin. Eventually, He could not tolerate their evil any longer and scattered them to the four corners of the earth.

But, God had made a covenant. He is lovingkindness (chesed). His lovingkindness will not let go. He will not wash His hands of Israel, nor of us. He judges, but never gives up. Rebellion cannot destroy His love. It is the essence of that lovely old hymn, “O love that will not let me go.”

After vomiting the Children of Israel out of the land because of their sin, He sends hundreds of promises through His prophets to tell them that He will one day bring them back to the land again. We are now seeing these prophecies come to pass. We saw the miracle of Israel become a nation again on May 14 1948 and now Jews are pouring back to the land from all over the world. This is God revealing Himself as chesed.

It is also related to the old English word, “troth.” Have you ever heard it before? At the end of their vows, the bridal couple say, “And thereto I give thee my troth." All our children used these original wedding vows on their wedding day. I was so pleased that our grand-daughter, who was recently married, also used the same vows. It was quite fun on the wedding rehearsal night as Ben and Chanel practiced saying “troth.” It’s not an easy word to pronounce! It means that the couple are confessing publically that they will be faithful to their marriage covenant.

JUDGMENT AND RIGHTEOUSNESS

The Hebrew word for "judgment" is mishpat and should be translated justice. Justice is the use of authority to uphold execute what is right. It is acting as a judge and rendering the proper verdict—God’s verdict.

The Hebrew word for “righteousness” is ts’daqh and very similar to justice. It is a legal term and is also related to two parties keeping their covenant. God is the ultimate law-giver and He abides by His own standards.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

How does this all relate to us? If we want to know God, we must come to understand God on these terms for He delights in these attributes. If we are going to teach our children what God is like, we must learn to parent with these three attributes. How can we do it? It seems beyond us, doesn’t it? But, the more we press into God, the more we will understand and the more He will teach us.

Yes, we must uphold the standard of God’s righteousness in our home. We must execute justice when our children rebel and refuse to obey. We must execute discipline. We cannot let these things go and think it is insignificant, for in doing so, we refuse to know God and refuse to show our children what God is like.

On the other hand, God’s chesed will overpower our every motive in dealing with our children. It is related to the New Testament agape love which is only God’s love. Our love can give up and wane, but God’s love never gives up.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

www.aboverubies.org

PRAYER:

“Oh God, please help me. I want to know you more and more. I want to know you in your lovingkindness, justice and righteousness. Please teach me and help me to parent the way you parent us. Thank you, Father. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

I am parenting God’s way, not my own.

For further reading, go to these links:

Justice in the Home - http://bit.ly/JusticeInTheHome

Love in the Home, Is it Possible? - http://bit.ly/LoveInTheHome