MY JOURNEY BACK TO JOY
I began my journey as a wife about 21 years ago and my journey as a mom 19 years ago. Growing up I wanted to do nothing else but be a wife and a mom. Little House on the Prairie was (and still is) my favorite show to watch. Everything about homemaking intrigued me.I did the whole college thing and received my degree and taught school up until our oldest child was born. Oh, how I hated teaching school and couldn’t wait to be at home. Once he was born, I got to pour everything into my dream. And it was perfect . . . for a while.
Our second child was born, and she cried all the time and never slept. It was during this time of extreme fatigue that I found Above Rubies, and we gave my womb to the Lord. Through the Lord’s help and so many encouraging testimonies, we persevered on the path to which God called us. I still had the radiant joy of homemaking and motherhood.
But life started to take some unexpected turns. I won’t write all the details for they would fill a book. We experienced children with health concerns, extreme financial trouble as my husband had gone back to seminary, many moves, and then to top it all off, my own health began to decline rapidly.
Over the course of time, I lost my joy in motherhood. Oh, yes, I still homeschooled my precious children, but I was merely surviving the rat race of activities, diapers, schooling, and breastfeeding. I rolled out of bed every morning in a frazzled mess just focusing on how I would survive until bedtime.
The joy was gone. The dream I once loved so dearly was now a weight around my neck choking me every single day. I wanted to write a book, be a doula - anything to escape. But all my efforts failed miserably. Not that these things were wrong but my motivation to escape my number one priority was sinful.
As the year 2020 began, I felt I should see a doctor. I was dizzy, extremely weak, packing on weight, and something was off. The doctor told me I was tired from having so many children. I pressed them for an EGK and was immediately sent to the emergency room. After many appointments and tests, we got answers.
Honestly, looking back I think I my heart’s physical condition was outward evidence of what was going on inside. My womb also began to have problems with uncontrollable bleeding. Doctors really didn’t know why. Their only solution was medications and surgery. The thought of losing my womb wasn’t something I was ready to come to terms with.
This was a wake-up call for me. I wanted nothing more than to find the love for homemaking that I had at the beginning.
How could I rediscover my joy?
#1. I started at the beginning, my Lord and Savior. I made it my FIRST priority to wake up EVERY morning (with sickness being the only exception) at 5:45 to spend time with the Lord. This is where the love and joy was reborn. Now I simply cannot wait to get up in the morning to be with my Lord! The still of the morning before everyone awakes – oh, it’s such a precious time! God has remade me during these mornings together!
#2. I devoured everything I could on homemaking – books, podcasts, Bible Studies, my stack of Above Rubies magazines, YouTube videos – whatever I could get my hands on! Oh, how I had missed all the joyous aspects of homemaking and motherhood! The spark was beginning to flame again!
#3. I sought answers for my physical health. I sought out a wonderful cardiologist and help from a naturalist doctor. Through a combined effort, my health is making a huge turn around. I feel better and stronger every da, and the bleeding issues are correcting! God is healing my body from the inside out! Maybe He will choose to bless us again?
I can honestly say that NOTHING the world has to offer is better than the joy of being home with my family. Getting to nurture them spiritually and physically is the greatest calling on a woman’s life. God made us for this! I might still write that book someday, but this time it will be my story of the goodness of God and His beautiful design for motherhood.
MELISSA SHULTZ
Kennesaw, Georgia, USA
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Picture: John and Melissa with their family: Christopher (19), Lily (15), Dalton (13), William (11), Johanna (
, Luke (4) and 3 little ones awaiting us in heaven.
, Luke (4) and 3 little ones awaiting us in heaven.About the author
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