FIVE GIFTS FROM GOD DURING A MISCARRIAGE
My husband and I have six children, ranging in age from 13 to four years. I found out I was pregnant in May this year of with our 7th child.I took our two oldest children, Grace (11) and Gehrig (13) on a mission trip to Kenya in June where we did evangelism and church planting. We were blessed to see 108 salvations for Christ and the locals started four new churches. It was life- changing! I wanted my children to experience God and see what life was like in a third world country. They absolutely loved it!
I was about eight weeks pregnant. I didn’t know I would be in early pregnancy when planning the trip and I really had to rely on the Lord for patience. I had all the symptoms of early pregnancy like nausea, sore breasts, constipation, mood swings, etc. I had to pray and call out to God quite a few times from being so uncomfortable. But the mission trip gave me a chance to serve others and not think about myself. I am so grateful to God and that was #1 gift He gave me.
One week later (July 5) after our return home on June 27, I miscarried our 7th child. The night before I was bleeding only slightly. The Lord gave me a gift of a good night’s sleep (gift #2) before the next morning when the actual miscarriage happened.
I was 10 weeks along. I tried to miscarry naturally at home, but my blood pressure kept dropping, and I was dizzy, lightheaded, and faint. I was rushed to the ER. Gift #3, God gave me a female ob/gyn. She was so gentle and kind and never said one word about how old I was (46 years). In fact, the whole staff was kind and caring.
Gift #4, my parents were able to take my children while I was resting and recovering. Instead of being judgmental, they’ve been nothing but supportive and caring. I can’t help but think that this is due our witness that we began many years ago of surrendering our family size to the Lord. Although it has not been easy since some of our children are getting a bit older my parents (and us too) are seeing the richness of our family life and how blessed my husband and I are.
I ended up having a D&C because some of the tissue from the baby and blood clots were not coming out. I agreed because I knew my uterus needed to clamp down properly, even though I’m not fond of surgery. The doctor was wise and knew what she was doing.
After the surgery, I was able to eat and drink, but my blood count was quite low at 8. I kept trying to stand up but couldn’t, due to nausea and dizziness.
Gift #5. After several hours of this, a nurse suggested a motion sickness patch to help me withstand the dizziness. It worked! And I was able to come home within an hour.
Going on the mission trip pregnant and coming home to a miscarriage was not in my plan. But God is His goodness was so good to me and knew exactly what I needed. He wanted this baby for himself, to live eternally with him or her. I can’t help but also think of the timing of this with the recent court decision of Roe v. Wade. Many are trying to prevent life from coming and we welcomed it with our whole hearts and gave it to eternity with God.
Gifts - so many! I feel great peace to the Lord who gave us a gift. The gift of miscarriage to be able to carry a baby for Him and no one else. I consider it an honor and privilege. At my age, I’m not sure if the Lord will bless us with any more babies. It was really a surprise that this one came along since I hadn’t been pregnant for over four years.
However, I’m not pining away or yearning for something that may or may not be mine to have. I am perfectly content to live in His will and do what He asks. I am merely a vessel in obedience to Him. It is possible to live in peace as you give control over to the Lord. I really did want another baby, but His will is more important than my desires. I can’t express how easy this has been. Maybe because I gave the Lord my fertility and have grown to realize His ways and plan are best for me, even if I don’t understand, or agree.
I am reminded of the story of Joseph and how he never strayed from God despite how hopeless things looked. God is pleased when we go through suffering joyfully. It is such a pleasing aroma to Him.
I am excited to have done the Lord’s will and to have been used by Him. Some would say, how can you be happy? You lost a baby. Yes, but what I gained in return is much greater. The privilege of sharing in Christ’s suffering and to have an opportunity to draw close to the Lord for strength and joy is life-altering. As I celebrate this life, I am hopeful for other women to have this experience, and for when my strength returns, how truly joyful I will be with my children and husband. How blessed I am.
GINGER SPECK
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Pictures: Ginger and Greg with their children: Gavin (10), Grace (11), Gehrig (13), Gabriel (
, Gannon the youngest held by Gabriel (4) and Graham (6).
, Gannon the youngest held by Gabriel (4) and Graham (6).Gehrig and Grace hanging with some children.
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