LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 338: THE THEOLOGY OF MOTHERHOOD, Part 2

Without motherhood the story of the Bible could not be written. Without motherhood there could be no genealogies. Without motherhood the world would come to a halt. The theology of motherhood is necessary to the Bible.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies. Last week I began talking to you about the theology of motherhood. We’re going to continue that today.

Here’s another definition of biblical theology. “The study of religious faith practiced and experienced, with a focus on the nature of divinity, and God’s relationship to mankind.” You noticed that that is not just ethereal, but it’s practice and experience as well. Doctrine is down to earth. Doctrine affects our personal lives.

I believe that the theology of motherhood is . . .

the study of God’s maternal heart,

His mandate of motherhood to women,

and the outworking of motherhood as an experience and practice in our lives,

all found in His Word, because theology is based on the Word of God.

The story of the Bible is not about motherhood, but, ladies, get this.

Without motherhood, the story of the Bible could be written.

It took women to continue the story of the Bible. The first words God ever spoke were these: “Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth. Subdue and take dominion.” Adam couldn’t do this alone. He couldn’t do it without motherhood.

Recently, I was reading an article by James Hamilton, also called “A Biblical Theology of Motherhood.” I enjoyed some quotes from his article. He says, “Motherhood is vital to the mandate God gave to humanity to fill, subdue, and rule the earth. Humanity cannot do what God commanded apart from motherhood. Motherhood makes the story of the Bible possible.”

And then, a quote from me: “The whole world hinges on the womb of a mother. All the amazing feats, remarkable inventions, astounding advancements, and brilliant discoveries that take place in this world happen because of a person. And that person began in the womb. Without the womb of the mother, nothing happens in this world. It all comes to a halt. We can’t even have genealogies without mothers. Mothers keep it going.”

Another quote from James Hamilton: “God answers satan’s defiance and disobedience with the obedient submission of a woman, who does what God made her to do, helping her husband to multiply, fill, and subdue the earth. She does that by bearing children. By means of motherhood, God answers satan’s boast with a baby’s cry. God answers satan’s pride with a humble child.”

We read in Psalm 8:2: “Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast Thou ordained strength, because of Thine enemies, that Thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.” Every baby that is born is really a threat against satan. Satan, who hates life, does not want life to be born. On the other hand, God is the author of life. He loves life. He looks for the godly seed in every marriage. The very first words He ever spoke were these: “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth.”

Of course, we know that can’t happen without a mother, without the womb of a mother. So powerful is the mother in the earth. No wonder satan hates motherhood. He tries to eradicate motherhood. He tries to get rid of life. In fact, we’re now, in this hour in which we’re living in society, there is such an attack against the woman. The liberal woman doesn’t even know what is a woman! I think she really does, but they do not want to even confess what is a woman.

Because what is a woman? The most distinguishing characteristic is her womb. The womb of the mother. They want to eradicate the womb. They don’t want a womb. They don’t even want to say, “What is a woman?” because then they have to face up to the fact of who they are, of who God created them to be. Really, ladies, nearly everything I say to you on these podcasts is all the theology of motherhood.

We’re up to podcast number 338. I think if you were to go to every podcast, I know that some of you have listened to every single one, and they are all a theology on motherhood. In fact, I did a series of podcasts that was called “The Land of Motherhood.” Oh, I did so many podcasts on that series. You can go back and check it out. It’s filled with the theology of motherhood.

But today, I’m going to begin sharing more of God’s heart of motherhood, motherology, from a Scripture. Often, I begin in the beginning, in Genesis 1. But this time I want to start in Jeremiah 29:4-9. This is an amazing passage in Scripture. This is a message from Jeremiah the prophet, to the people, the people of Judah who had been taken to Babylon. They were taken as captives. Sadly, the evil in Israel had accumulated until God had to vomit them out of the land.

Years before, the ten tribes of Israel had gone from the land of Israel. Now there were only two tribes left, Judah and Benjamin. Now it became their turn, and God had to vomit them out of the land He gave them up because of their evil. They began to follow the evil of the nations who were in the land before they came in. Now they’re in Babylon. They’re away from their beloved land of Israel.

Jeremiah the prophet comes to them with the Word of the Lord, from the Lord of hosts. Wow! What is he going to tell them? The Lord of hosts has a word for them. How will they live in Babylon, in this foreign country? And God brings them a word, and He tells them seven things He wanted them to do. Interestingly, they were not what you would think. They were very, very practical.

We go to the very passage and read it here. Jeremiah 29:4: “Thus saith the Lord of hosts.” Now, “the Lord of hosts” is the name for God, who is the God of the armies of Israel, the God Who is a man of war. God, who protects His people, Israel. “Thus saith the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, unto all who are carried away captive, whom I have caused to be carried away from Jerusalem unto Babylon.” OK, what is He saying?

 “Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, unto all that are carried away captives, whom I have caused to be carried away from Jerusalem unto Babylon; Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them; Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished. 

“And seek the peace of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away captives, and pray unto the LORD for it: for in the peace thereof shall ye have peace. For thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Let not your prophets and your diviners, that be in the midst of you, deceive you, neither hearken to your dreams which ye cause to be dreamed.”

So, we see seven things there that God told them to do. These seven things were things He had already told them to do. They were His mandate for His people from the very beginning of creation.

They are: build, dwell, plant, eat, increase, pray, and don’t be deceived.

Those are seven things God gave to His families living in Israel. Really, they are motherology. They are homeology. They are parentology. They are what God wants us to do as families.

We’re going to look at these seven things.  We’ll start with . . .

No. 1: TO BUILD

That was the very first thing God said: “Build houses and dwell in them.” The word “build” is the word banah in the Hebrew. We see that this word actually has a number of meanings. Number one, “to build, to rebuild, to establish.”

God is into building. God is on our side when we’re building a house. He loves that. He wants us to build a house. He wants us to dwell in a home. As we build our homes, we’re building our family. This is what God is all about. This is His plan. Of course, as we build a home, we will be building a family altar.

I love that quote from Matthew Henry. He states:

“Wherever man hath a tent, God should have an altar.”

In other words, in whatever home we build, as our family grows, we establish an altar so that we can give God the pre-eminence in our home. I also did a series on THE FAMILY ALTAR. Check that series out too, on the podcasts. They were podcasts 308 to 318. It took a lot of podcasts to talk about that.

Let’s look at some Scriptures about building, because first of all, God talks about building an actual house. And yes, God is into that. He not only wants us to build a house, but He also wants us to build our marriages and build our families.

We see in Proverbs 9:1: “Wisdom hath builded her house. She hath hewn out her seven pillars.”

Proverbs 14:1: “Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”

Proverbs 24:3: “Through wisdom is a house builded, and by understanding it is established. By knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”

Do you notice in those three Scriptures, that there are three words that are repeated in every Scripture? Wisdom, build, and home. Those three words all go together. They are triplets. God wants us to build, but He wants us to build with His wisdom. What does He want us to build? Our homes.

The word “home” in the Hebrew means “a home or a family,” because those are synonymous. A home is for a family, and a family lives in a home, so those words are synonymous. That word banah means, as I said, “to build, to rebuild, to establish.”

It also means “to repair,” and interestingly, ladies, it also means “to establish a family, to bring forth children.”

In building a home, part of building a home is not only building a structure, but building a family to live in that structure, and to bring forth children. If we are fulfilling Proverbs 14:1: “Every wise woman buildeth her house,” well, that’s a woman who is bringing forth children in her home.

Let’s look at that in some other Scriptures so you know I’m not just talking off the top of my head.

Genesis 16:2: “Sarai said unto Abram” (that was before they were called Sarah and Abraham) “Behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing. I pray thee, go in unto my maid. It may be that I may obtain children by her.”

When Sarah couldn’t have children of their own, she tried to do it man’s way, instead of continuing to trust God. We know the story. She told Abraham to go in to her maid. What does the Bible say? “Obtain children by her.” The word is banah. “They are to build up my home.”

Genesis 30:3: “And Rachel said, Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and she shall bear upon my knees, that I may also have children by her.” The word “have children,” once again, is banah, to build. The only way that Rachel could build up her family is through children.

In Deuteronomy 25:9, it says . . . Well, maybe I should give you a little background on this Scripture. In Bible days, if a husband died, the next brother had to take his brother’s wife, his widow, as his wife, and build up children for that husband. She became his wife, and the first baby that would be born to that wife would take her husband’s name, “That his name will not be blotted out of Israel.”

God was very, very concerned about the names. I think maybe we forget about that in our society today, don’t we? But to God, the name is important. He wanted every family name to carry on in Israel. Sometimes there would be a brother who didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to have that child take his brother’s name.

When that happened, we read in Deuteronomy 25:9: “Then shall his brother’s wife come unto him in the presence of the elders, and loose his shoe from off his foot, and spit in his face, and shall answer and say, So shall it be done unto the man that will not build up his brother’s house.” Those words there, “will not build up,” are the word banah. This brother wouldn’t build it up to his brother. He wouldn’t give the name of his brother to this child.

I think of our own experience. We actually, can you believe this? We had to wait for 15 grandchildren before we got a grandchild with the Campbell name. We already had quite a number of grandsons, but they didn’t have the Campbell name. It was our 15^th grandbaby who was a son and had the Campbell name. Now, today, with over 50 grandchildren, we only have five grandsons with the Campbell name. Can you believe that? Wow! It’s not easy to carry on the name.

What about families who have only a couple of children? And then those children marry, and they only have a couple of children. The names of families in the USA are dying out mightily, because you have to have a big family to ensure that you're going to carry on that family name.

Then we have the story of Onan (Genesis 38:6-10). Have you heard of the story of Onan? His brother died, so Onan was the one who had to marry this widow, which was Tamar. The Bible says that he did not want to do this. It says that each time that he went into his brother’s wife, he spilled the seed, the semen, on the ground. He wasted it, because he did not want to build up the name of his brother, to build up her house.

That grieved God, and the Bible says: “And God killed him.” Wow! But it obviously wasn’t a one-time thing. He continued in rebellion, and every time he went into his brother’s wife, he spilled the seed. “I’ll spill the seed. OK, that doesn’t sound too bad.” But if you look in the Hebrew, the word for “spilled” is not just “spilled.” The word is “destroy.” (Hebrew – sahat – to destroy, corrupt, go to ruin).

It is the same word that God used when he said to His people: “Go and destroy the Amalekites.” When He’s speaking about destroying a people in battle, it’s the word “destroy.” That is the same word that is used when Onan wasted that seed. He destroyed it, because he spilled it, and he didn’t allow it to go into his brother’s wife to build up. We may not look upon these things as serious, but in God’s eyes they are.

Then I love this Scripture in Ruth 4:11: “And the Lord make the woman” (who is Ruth) “that is come into thine house like Rachel and like Leah, which two did build up the house of Israel.”

Wow! Isn’t that an amazing Scripture? You would think that the Bible would say that the sons of Jacob were the ones who built the house of Israel! But no, God used the names of the mothers, because without the woman, without the mothers, those children would not have come into the world. God says Rachel and Leah built the house of Israel. Nothing actually happens in this world without the mother, without the womb of the woman.

When we go back even to the very beginning, we see when God created man in Genesis 2:6, it says: “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living soul.”

God formed the man. But later He created the woman, because God didn’t create the woman at the same time. The next thing God did after creating the man was to create the garden, and He put the man in the garden.

Then later He created the woman. When He created her, we go over, same chapter, but down to verse 21: “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept. He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof. The rib which the Lord God had taken from man made He a woman.” This time, he didn’t form the woman.

Do you know what the word is? Once again, it’s the word banah, to build. He built the woman. He constructed her from what he took out of the man. In fact, man was made from the dust of the ground, but not the woman. She was built from the man himself. This is the very first word of the word banah, and it’s used for the woman, because it’s the woman who builds the home as she brings forth children.

Then not only is the word “build” used for the mother, but it’s also used for the daughter. We go over to Psalm 144:12. Here in this Scripture, it says: “That our sons may be as plants grown up in the youth. That our daughters may be as cornerstones, polished after the similitude of the palace.” That word “similitude” in the King James version, that’s a word I don’t think we would even use today. I don’t think you’d go around saying “similitude.”

But that word in the Hebrew is tabniyth, and it means “a pattern, a construction, a structure.” It comes from the root word banah, “to build.” So, once again, God brings this word when He’s talking about our daughters, because they are going to be the ones who will continue to bring forth children into the home, who keep the generations going, who keep the genealogies going.

Without the mother, and then the daughters coming from the mother, and then the daughters who will then continue to bring forth children, there would be no genealogies. There would be no more generations. The whole world would come to a halt. Such is the power of the mother and of the womb.

So, precious ladies, we as mothers, we’re training our daughters how to be builders of the home. Yes, how to build a wonderful, beautiful home. How to build a stable home, and also for them to know that they are the bringers forth of children as they build their home, because that is the big part of the meaning of banah. That’s what we do. We are building up.

While we’re on Psalm 144:12, a beautiful Scripture, a vision for our sons and for our daughters. Our sons as plants in their youth: “Our sons grown up as plants in their youth.” God doesn’t want our sons to be little wimpy boys. He wants them to grow into maturity, growing into maturity, even in their youth.

I used to wonder, “Why does God use this image of plants or tree for our sons?” He uses “cornerstones,” or the “pillars of a palace” for our daughters, because pillars of a palace have to be strong to hold up a huge building such as a palace. Of course, our daughters do need to be strong. But He didn’t use our sons for that. He talks about them as “plants grown up in the youth.”

But of course, as we think about it, the plants and the trees grow outside. Usually. the work of the man is outside the home, whereas the work of the woman is building up the home inside the home. That’s what we’re doing, building up our homes. We not only build a house; that’s construction. But we’re building up marriage, building up family life. “Every wise woman buildeth.”

So, lovely ladies, we have to remind ourselves every day that we are builders. A builder does something. It takes action. When you're building, you're working. You’re not sitting idly by, just looking at the building. No, you are involved in making it grow, and making it get bigger, and making it become more beautiful, and making it according to the pattern.

Every day, we need to think about it. “OK, what am I doing today to build into my marriage? To make it stronger? To make it more loving? To make it more wonderful? What am I doing? I’m doing something every day, something tangible, something special for my husband.” Maybe something you say to him. Maybe something you write on a little note to him. Maybe something you do to him, something you do for him. But you're thinking of something every day.

The same with your family. “Oh Lord, how can I build into my family today? How can I make my home a more special place for them to live and grow and experience Your presence? What do You want me to do? How can I make it more wonderful? How can I make our family life stronger?”

Here's a good question to ask yourself. Every decision you make, and you're making decisions every day, about little things, and of course big things. But everything adds up. Even the little things are important. But every decision you make, ask this question: “Is what I am doing, or what I am planning to do, will this make my home and my family stronger? Will it cement our family together more? Will it bind us together more? Or will it fragment our family?”

Now, think about it. If your decision is going to be something that will fragment the family, you’ll all be going your various ways. It’s not something that brings you together. Well, forget about it! Don’t do it. But if what you're deciding is something that will bind you together more, make you closer knit as a family, make you stronger together as a family, OK. You know that’s something you can do.

There’s a little secret to knowing what to do when you have to make all these decisions which you're constantly making. I love this quote of a wonderful woman. Her name is Connie Holtquist. Sadly, she is now passed away. But this lady, oh, before I give you the quote, I must tell you about her.

She must have had one of the worst marriages that anyone could ever be in. Her husband was in and out of jail for years and years. But this woman, God gave her tenacity to hang on for her marriage. Oh, I won’t tell you the whole story, but you can read it. I actually printed it two times in Above Rubies because it’s so powerful, and I have it on my webpage.

You can go to aboverubies.org, and put in the search, “Bring Him Home.” You can read this most powerful testimony. In fact, if you know someone who’s going through a very difficult marriage, you could send that testimony to them. It is the most powerful testimony I have ever read of a marriage.

Go to: http://tinyurl.com/Marriage-BringHimHome (You will cry!)

Anyway, Connie wrote this one time: “Can you imagine any woman in the Bible leaving their own home, and going out to build the kingdom of another man, or household? No, the virtuous woman puts all she has into building up her own husband’s kingdom.” That’s a good quote, isn’t it?

Wow! I can’t believe where time is going. What’s our time, girls? Wow, all right, just about time to close. Maybe I should end up here, or I’ll start on something, and I won’t be able to end! May you be blessed today.

Part of the theology of motherhood is building up your marriage, building up your home, making it stronger, cementing it together, or pounding your stakes deep, that you're not going to be a family that’s scattered, but you are a family that’s together. God loves togetherness. “And every wise woman buildeth up her home.” Remember, part of building is bringing forth children.

“Dear Father, we thank You so much for all Your goodness to us. I pray for every mother and every daughter, and anyone else listening today, that You will pour out Your blessing upon them. I pray that You will encourage them in Your ways.

“Lord, we live in a society that lives opposite to Your ways. I pray that You will help me, and each one listening, to live according to Your Word. Lord God, it is Your Word that is true. Everything else is a lie. Your Word says: “Let God be true, but every man a liar.” Lord God, help us to be those who are on your side of truth, living in that realm. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 337: THE THEOLOGY OF MOTHERHOOD, Part 1

Did you know there was such a thing as the Theology of Motherhood or to be more direct, Motherology? Join with me as I discuss the doctrine of motherhood.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Always love being with you. Today I want to talk to you about something you may not have thought about. That is the Theology of Motherhood. After all these years of writing and speaking, and of course, being a mother, I have never really thought of the theology of motherhood until recently.

I realized that it is a theology because, what does the word “theology” mean?

It comes from two Greek words: theos, which is the Greek word for God, and ology. That comes from the word logos, meaning the study of the word of God.

We see this in the beginning of John’s gospel, John chapter one. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made by Him; and without him was not anything made that was made. In Him was life; and the life was the light of men.”

As we read the logos, the Word of God, of course we see all the things that God wants us to know about Himself, and how He wants us to live. That really is theology. It is the study of the existence, the character, and the attributes of God; His laws and His government, the doctrines we are to believe, and the duties we are to practice.

Theology is not all theoretical. Theology is also very practical. In fact, C S Lewis says, “If you don’t listen to theology, that won’t mean you have no ideas about God. It will mean that you have a lot of wrong ideas.” I think that’s very true, because often we do have our own ideas about things. We have our own ideas about motherhood. If you talk to mothers, you’ll find there are many, many different ideas of what they feel about motherhood.

But true theology is not what we feel or think. It’s what God says in His Word. That is literally the theology of motherhood, what God says in His Word from Genesis to Revelation. I realize that I have been writing about the theology of motherhood for years. Many of you will have my book, The Power of Motherhood. That literally tells you everything that God says about you. Every chapter is a new understanding of motherhood from God’s point of view.

So really, I could have called it The Theology of Motherhood, but I never thought of that back then, because I looked up in the dictionary, and can you believe it, ladies? The word is not there! It should be, because there are so many -ologies in this world. There’s an -ology about everything! We’ve got dermatology and we’ve got archeology. We could go on and on for pages and pages of all the -ologies.

I couldn’t find the theology of motherhood, or what would we call it? Motherology! I didn’t see motherology in the dictionary! I think that it’s time it got there because there is motherology in the Bible. There’s parentology. There’s householdology. There’s familyology. It’s all there in the Bible, and it’s what God has to say about these things. These are the very things that are our daily life and how we should live.

Of course, we do have paterology. That’s the study of God the Father.

Christology, which is the study of God, the Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

We have pneumatology, the study of God, the Holy Spirit.

But we’re going to get to motherology today. Even all my books, the blessings books, The 100 Days of Blessing, I have four volumes of them (I have to get onto editing this fifth one that I have ready). They are also all about the theology of motherhood, because everyone is looking for something from the Word about motherhood.

Theology also can be looked up as doctrine. Doctrine is very important, even for us as mothers.

Mark 4:2: “And Jesus taught them many things by parables, and said unto them in his doctrine.” So, Jesus taught doctrine. All the things that He taught the people, and even all the parables, they were His doctrine. They were revealing His Father. They were revealing how He wants us to live.

We see again in Mark 12:38: “And Jesus said unto them in His doctrine.”

And then, Jesus said again, in John 7:16-17: “Jesus answered them, and said, My doctrine is not Mine, but His that sent Me. If any man will do His will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of Myself.”

So, ladies, we need to know the theology of motherhood, or we could call it the “doctrine of motherhood.” I’m going to begin and share a few more things. Even though I’ve been sharing this for years, and years, I will take a few different angles. Let’s go and find out a little bit more about doctrine in the Word of God.

I found four adjectives about doctrine.

Number One: Doctrine must be God’s doctrine

We see that in the Scripture I just quoted in John 7, where Jesus answered them and said, “My doctrine is not Mine, but His that sent Me. It’s my Father’s doctrine. It’s God’s doctrine.” That is a very important point we must remember.

That’s number one, because, ladies, if the doctrine or the theology that we believe about motherhood is not God’s doctrine and we haven’t got it from the Word of God, well, it’s not the right doctrine. We have to have the right doctrine.

I was just reading this morning those Scriptures. We read them back in Deuteronomy, and also Judges. Let me read to you Deuteronomy 12:8: “Ye shall not do after all the things that we do here this day (Moses was talking to the people) every man whatsoever is right in his own eyes.” That’s how they were living. They were doing what was right in their own eyes.

Then we go over to Judges 17:6: “In those days there was no king in Israel (this was in the time of the judges) “but every man did that which was right in his own eyes.” It’s very easy, isn’t it, ladies, to do what we think is right, but it’s just in our eyes. I think of that Scripture in Proverbs that says: “There is a way that seemeth right unto man, but the end thereof is death” (Proverbs 14:12).

It seems right. Many times, we think, “Oh yes, this is the right way, because it seems right, seems good to me. fits in with my lifestyle, and this is what I think.” But we’ve got to get deeper than that. We’ve got to go into the Word of God and see whether it really is His doctrine. Thinking back to that Scripture where they did what they thought was right in their own eyes, this morning in my Quiet time, or my Bible time, whatever you would like to call it (I have my personal time with the Lord before we have our family time at breakfast time).

This morning, I was reading all the Scriptures about those people who did “that which was right in the eyes of the Lord.” It wasn’t what was right in their own eyes, but “that which was right in the eyes of the Lord,” or “in the sight of the Lord.” It’s interesting, isn’t it, that God is looking all the time, beholding the sons of men, beholding us personally, beholding our family. He is watching. Are we doing what is right in our own eyes, or in His eyes? Is it God’s doctrine?

I was most interested to find 17 different Scriptures that related to David, and how David did everything that was right in the sight of the Lord. Then it goes on to talk about some other kings who also did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. But then the other Scriptures were about some of them who didn’t, and it would then go to say because they did not do what their father David did, even though they were generations down from David. He was still called their father, and it related whether they were like David, or they did not do what David did.

There were 17 references to David, a man after God’s own heart, who did everything in the sight of the Lord, except the one exception. One of the Scriptures says that exception, and it says: “Except in the matter of Uriah the Hittite.” What a wonderful testimony that he had. I think, dear ladies, can you seek to find what is God’s doctrine?

Number Two: It must be sound doctrine

We find that in Titus 2. Titus is such a practical book of the Bible. We read here in Titus 2:1: “But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine.” And then, what is the next verse? Paul is writing to Timothy, and he tells him how the older men are to behave and what their behavior is to be like. Then it talks about the older women and what their behavior is to be like. Then it talks about the younger women, and what their behavior is to be like. Then it goes on to the young men and what their behavior is to be like.

Did you get it, ladies? These very practical things of how we are to live are sound doctrine. Yes, they may be practical. It’s talking about being a keeper at home, and mothering our children, and loving our husband. Such down-to-earth nitty-gritty things that are part of our lives, but they’re sound doctrine. Isn’t that amazing? They’re as important as knowing the doctrines of justification and sanctification.

Yes, this is doctrine. The word “sound” actually means “to be healthy.” I love that. The same word that’s used in 3 John 1:2: “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health.” Exactly the same word as “sound doctrine.” “Even as thy soul prospereth.” That means, dear ladies, that when we obey this sound doctrine and we embrace what the Word of God says, that we have the blessing of being in health. Isn’t that good? Yes, because that’s what it means, “to be healthy.” And that’s what sound doctrine is. There are other Scriptures I’ll give you in the transcript.

Now, there’s another word. There are three different words actually, that are used for how Jesus taught. It said there were Jesus’ sayings, and that He spoke in His doctrine, and He taught. The word “to teach” in the New Testament is the Greek word didasko. It means “to teach, to be an instructor.”

But the interesting thing, ladies, is when it comes to Titus 2, first of all, it starts out with sound doctrine, and then it goes on to the word “teaching.” It talks about the older women teaching the younger women these good things. The word there in the Greek is kalodidaskalos. There are two words, didaskalos, which means “to teach.”

But for the women, it adds another word to this Greek word: kalos. It’s the only time that it’s used. What does that word mean? It means “lovely, beautiful, valuable.” The teaching, the doctrine for women goes up a step higher than all the other teachings, because it talks about how there are teachers and instructors. But when it’s the older women teaching the younger women, it’s kalos added to it. We’re going to be teaching beautiful, lovely things.

God says all these things about keeping our homes, mothering our children is not only sound doctrine, it’s lovely, beautiful doctrine. Isn’t that wonderful? Yes.

And it is amazing, isn’t it, that there are many women today who actually are really doing what those people did in the days of the judges, of doing what is right in their own eyes, because that word, that sound doctrine in Titus 2 specifically says that God’s plan for the woman is to be a keeper at home, to manage her home, to be in the home. And yet, there are so many women today who are out of the home. Well, if we’re truly going to be biblical, that is not sound doctrine. It’s not God’s doctrine. We’ve got to get it right!

Number Three: It must be good doctrine

1 Timothy 4:6. Paul encouraged Timothy to be “a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the Words of faith, and of good doctrine.” God’s doctrine is good doctrine.

The last one . . .

Number Four: It must be godly doctrine

1 Timothy 6:3: “If any man speak otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness, he is proud and knoweth nothing.” We know that if our doctrine is leading us to godliness, leading us to righteousness, leading us to holiness, we’ll know it’s good doctrine. It’s God’s doctrine.

Well, there’s more about doctrine in the Word, dear ladies. I would like to give you here 14 different points about what God says we have to do about the doctrine. All right, it’s all very well knowing that it’s good doctrine, and sound doctrine, and godly doctrine, and of course God’s doctrine, but what are we to do about it?

God never leaves us in the dark. Wow! I find everything God has to say on a subject . . . He rarely says one thing. He says many things. So, let’s look at them. I’ll give you the references. I know that unless you're sitting down with pen and paper, you won’t have time to write them down. You may be listening on the run, perhaps. Actually, you get more out of it when you sit and listen, but I know so many of you are so busy, and you're doing it on the run. The main thing is that you are listening. But I will put the references again in the transcript so you will be able to get them if you really want them.

No. 1: TAKE HEED TO THE DOCTRINE

That is 1Timothy 4:16. We don’t let it go by. We’ve got to take heed to it.

No. 2: CONTINUE IN THE DOCTRINE

1 Timothy 4:16: “Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this, thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.” It’s not enough to embrace doctrine. We’ve got to continue in it.

I think back to Acts 2:42. This is telling us the lifestyle of the early church. In this Scripture, it tells us four things that the early church did. They not only did them, they continued in them. So, let’s see what it says: “And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine.” They were taking heed to doctrine. They were making sure they understood what God said. They continually did this, and they continued in it. But that was not all.

Number two: they continued steadfastly in fellowship. Number three: breaking of bread. Number four: prayers. I like to call that the foursquare gospel because that was the lifestyle and the pattern of the early church. Really, it should be the pattern we are following today. Well, most of us like to go to church each Sunday and get some more doctrine. That’s so good. That was number one. Continuing in the apostles’ doctrine.

But then, fellowship. Does everyone in your church fellowship? That was very much part of the early church lifestyle. They didn’t just go to the synagogue, or the home, or the building wherever they were going to meet and listen to a sermon. No, they fellowshipped together. God is very much into fellowship.

We’re so blessed at our Hilltop fellowship. We have fellowship lunch after every service. Everyone stays on, eats together, hangs out, talks, fellowships, dialogues. It’s a glorious time, a time when we can really get to know one another and be aware of one another’s needs, and pray for one another. Church is not just listening to a sermon. Fellowship is very important.

And number three, breaking of bread. That wasn’t only talking about communion. They met together, in one another’s homes, breaking bread from house to house, and eating their food with joyfulness. They met together. They opened their homes in hospitality. They broke bread together. They fellowshipped over the meal and shared the wondrous things of God together.

And how often did they do this? Do you know what the Bible says, a few verses down? What does it say? Does it say they did this weekly? No. Monthly? No. They actually did this daily! Daily they fellowshipped and broke bread together.

And number four, prayers. That’s another thing that’s missing from the church of God today. Of course, we have prayer in the service. But a real prayer meeting, where we pray, where we cry out to God! Oh goodness me, even in big churches, it’s prayer meeting night, and maybe six people are there. Oh, the prayer meeting should be the most fully attended meeting, really, that we go to, because that shows our dependence upon God. It brings the Presence of God to us. And it also does such wondrous things. So, there we go. We’re meant to be continuing in all those things. Because they are doctrine.

No. 3: ADORN THE DOCTRINE

Titus 2:10: “Adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in all things.” That literally means “to wear it.” It’s practical. God says, “I don’t want you only studying the Bible, and getting it in your head, and knowing all these facts. I want you to wear it! I want My Word to become flesh and blood in you, so that it’s coming out of your hands, and your feet, and your countenance, and your smile. It’s infiltrating every part of your being.”

This is what we are meant to do with doctrine, to wear it. Of course, that gets right down into our homes. We don’t just put it on when we go out, or we all go out to church, or we’re going out to some meeting, or something that we’re attending. We put on our lovely dress and look so good! No. We’ve got to be wearing the doctrine in our home.

Yes, in the midst of everything happening, and children driving you crazy, and feeling overwhelmed. Oh, goodness me! Sometimes you’re just wondering if you're even surviving! But even in that mess, you're to adorn the doctrine. When you do, ladies, something happens, because when you adorn the doctrine, the doctrine of motherhood, motherology, the theology of motherhood, what God says, you begin to understand that, “Yes, this is who I am, and this is the plan God has for me. He has this glorious plan for me, to be in my home, and to raise godly children who will impact the nation and the world. I will fill eternity with these children who You are giving to me.”

When you understand this and embrace it, you're not going to have so many hang-ups, and feeling so sorry for yourself, because maybe you could be out doing some career. No, that’s what brings confusion and dissatisfaction to motherhood. When you embrace it, even though you're facing challenges, you're going to live in the joy of it, because you're wearing the doctrine! Amen?

No 4: ABIDE IN THE DOCTRINE

2 John 1:9: “Whosoever transgresses and abides not in the doctrine of Christ hath not God. He that abides in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son.” That’s pretty powerful, isn’t it? Abiding, living in the doctrine. Not just acknowledging it, but to live in it.

No. 5: NOURISHED IN THE DOCTRINE

1 Timothy 4:6: “Thou shalt be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the words of faith, and of good doctrine.”

No. 6: GIVE ATTENDANCE TO THE DOCTRINE

1 Timothy 4:13: “Til I come, give attendance to reading to exhortation, to doctrine.” The word “give attendance” is prosecho, which means “to bring near, to be addicted to, devoted to, pay attention to, to give the mind to,” and, get this one, ladies, “to hold the mind.”

When I looked up that understanding, and I read that phrase, it really got to me. “To hold the mind.” Because I don’t know if you're the same as me. I find it very easy, even as I’m meditating on the Word, I can get into, oh, I’m thinking about it. And then I can get into other thoughts, and then I can get into all kinds of things I’m thinking about! I’ve got away from where I started. It’s a very big discipline to learn to “hold the mind.”

I think, especially when you're listening to the Word being read, or listening to a message, you've got to hold your mind. Since I’ve read that, I’m really making it part of my life, an exercise, to get into the habit of holding my mind. Even since I’ve started to do this, I can still get off on a little tangent. Oooops! I’ve got to come back in. “Whoo! Come on! Bring my mind in again!”

It’s like that Scripture in 1 Peter 1:13 where it says: “Gird up the loins of your mind.” It’s giving the picture of . . .  back in Bible days, men wore long robes. When they were exercising, doing hard work and so forth, they would pull up their robes and tuck them in their belts, so their legs were free, and they were free to work and to do what they had to do.

They had to gird up their loins (their long robes around their loins) and get them out of the way so they were not a nuisance to them. We have to do that. We’ve got to gird up the loins of our minds and bring them back into attention. It’s a good exercise. Start trying to do that. But I really like that. “Hold the mind.” Amen?

No. 7: KNOW THE DOCTRINE

john 7:7: “If any man will do His will, he shall know the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of Myself.” You don’t know the doctrine? Well, you're not going to walk in it. You can be doing that which is right in your own eyes. We’ve got to know it.

No. 8: FULLY KNOW THE DOCTRINE

Not just know but fully know!

2 Timothy 3:10: “But thou hast fully known my doctrine (Paul says) my manner of life, and purpose, and faith, and longsuffering, and love, and patience, and persecutions and afflictions.” All that was part of his doctrine. It was his lifestyle. Those who he was mentoring fully understood it, so that when it happened to them, they would know it was not something foreign that was happening to them. This was part of living their Christian life.

No. 9: OBEY FROM THE HEART THE DOCTRINE

Romans 6:17: “You have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered to you.”

I’ll just finish these fourteen points in this session, OK?

No. 10: LEARN THE DOCTRINE

Romans 16:17: “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.”

That’s the wonderful thing, ladies. When you know the doctrine, and you’ve learned it, and then you're embracing it, and you're abiding in it, and living in it, what happens? You will be aware when things are not the truth. Many times people can be deceived. And how? Because they don’t know God’s doctrine.

When you have the Word in you, it is the truth. It’s only the Word that has the power to expose that which is false and deception. That’s why it’s so important to learn the doctrine, to know what God says. What he says to us as mothers, ladies, and to us as wives, yes, when we know that something is a little different, even slightly different, because often satan’s temptations are not hugely different. They’ve very subtle. They’re just slightly different, just to get us off track.

He knows he can’t really tempt us with great big, huge sins and great big huge deceptions. He makes them very little, just slightly off track, slightly off what God says, so maybe we’ll listen. But you see, if you really know what God says, well then, wow! “You’re going to get out of here, satan! That’s not the truth!” So, it’s important to learn the doctrine.

No. 11: EXHORT WITH DOCTRINE

2 Timothy 4:2: “Preach the Word. Be instant in season and out of season. Reprove, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and doctrine.” Don’t share with others your ideas. Give them God’s doctrine!

No. 12: FILL THE CITY WITH DOCTRINE

I love this point, ladies!

Acts 5:28: “Did we not command you (this is the authorities talking to the disciples) . . . Did we not command you that you should not teach in His Name? And behold, you have filled Jerusalem with your doctrine!”

I love that. The truth of God’s Word about motherhood, about the home, about family; we should be filling Jerusalem! Well, we don’t live in Jerusalem. Fill your city! Fill everybody on your social media. This is one of the ways we get truth out today.

Every day I write a post for you on Facebook and other social medias which I post to encourage you, or to lift up some aspect of truth in the Word of God about family. I send it out. Then, I don’t have time to go back again until the next day. I don’t waste my time on social media. I haven’t got time for that. But I use it as a tool to get out the truth.

Ladies, you can use your social media to get out the truth! Don’t waste your time on it with mundane, stupid little things! Oh, goodness me! Get a Scripture! Get a word of truth and send it out! Well, if you can’t think of one, go to my Facebook, and share mine! Share with everybody you know! But let’s fill our sphere of influence with the truth, with motherology, with the doctrine of theology. Let’s fill every space we can, that we can influence! Please! Oh, it’s time we came out of our hiding places and filled the world with the truth!

That’s why, with Above Rubies, I don’t make it an actual subscription magazine where you have to write in and pay so much a year to get it. No, I make it freely available. Of course, it’s not free, because I have to pay these thousands. I’m still waiting for $60,000 now, to pay off this printing bill and the rest of the mailing to get it all out.

It isn’t free, but I give it freely, because I want to get it out to those who don’t understand, who don’t know the truth. If I was making it a subscription, all those who believed in the truth would get it. That’s great! You need the affirmation. But we’ve got to get it out to those who don’t believe, so take out Above Rubies, and use your social media to fill your whole sphere of influence in your city and the world, and everyone that you can get to, with God’s truth! Amen? And motherology! Amen.

All right. I’ve got to hurry!

No. 13: SHARE AND SHOW THE DOCTRINE WITH PURITY AND DIGNITY

Titus 2:7-8.

And the last one . . .

No. 14: DON’T BLASPHEME THE DOCTRINE

1 Timothy 6:1: “Let as many servants as are under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honour, that the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed.”

How do we blaspheme the doctrine? When we don’t obey God’s practical instructions for how to live. He’s given them very clearly. And when we think, “Oh, well, I know better than God. I don’t really think what He says really fits in with my lifestyle. I’m doing it my way.” That’s blaspheming the doctrine.

And then we read again, Titus 2:5. This comes at the end of the words that God gave for the older women to teach the younger women about embracing motherhood, about keeping their homes, and so on. Then it says such powerful words: “That the Word of God be not blasphemed.”

Do you notice that it says: “That the Word of God be not blasphemed.” This is not something that Nancy Campbell says, or what some other person says, or someone’s ideas. Those Scriptures in Titus 2 are the Word of God. That’s what it says here. Right at the end of them, it says: “That the Word of God be not blasphemed.”

Wow. That’s a huge thing to say, but I think we’ve gotten so far away from God’s ultimate plan that most Christian women now think it’s normal to be out of the home, to put their children in daycare, and so on. But that’s not God’s plan. His plan is the opposite, and it’s the Word of God. If we don’t do it, we blaspheme.

Well, I’ve gone over my time, so let’s pray. We’ll continue this next time, OK? I’ve got so many more things to share with you.

“Dear Father, we thank You that You don’t ever leave us in the dark, that You show us clearly Your plan. Lord, we are amazed at how much You talk about doctrine, and how You want us to adhere to Your doctrine, Your truth, because You show us the way to live. Lord, You not only want us to live according to Your doctrine, but to teach our children, and the following generations.

“Oh, God, save us from dropping the baton! Lord, even now we see that generations have dropped the baton, and we are getting further and further away from Your ultimate plan. Draw us back. Bring us back, Lord God, I pray. Bless every precious mother, wife, and daughter listening today. Pour out Your Spirit mightily upon them and their families and their homes. I pray in the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

 

P.S. Two more points I discovered after sharing this podcast:

No. 15: HOLD FAST THE DOCTRINE

Titus 1:9.

No. 16: MIRACLES AND HEALING BELONG WITH DOCTRINE

Read Matthew 9:35 and Acts 13:9-17.

BOOKS MENTIONED ABOVE:

THE POWER OF MOTHERHOOD

What the Bible Says About You as a Mother

By Nancy Campbell

This is a Bible manual for mothers.

All young mothers desperately need encouragement!

Middling mothers need it!

And even older mothers need it. Older mothers need a refresher course in God’s plan for mothering, so they can take their place as the older mothers who teach the next generation.

You will be amazed at what God has to say about mothers! You will receive wonderful understanding through the 245 pages of this manual. 

There are questions at the end of each chapter which you can use personally in your own study. Or a great idea is to begin a Mother’s Bible Study, gather together each week or once a month, and go through it together. You will get even more out of it as you share and discuss together.

Go to: http://bit.ly/PowerOfMotherhoodUS

P.S. If you would like to use it as a Bible Study for ladies and need multiple copies, call the office at 931 729 9861. You can receive 40 percent discount if purchasing 10 or more copies. 

 

100 DAYS OF BLESSING, Volumes 1 and 2

Devotions for Wives and Mothers

By Nancy Campbell

These devotional books have been a great blessing to so many wives and mothers. If you haven’t purchased them yet, you’ll want them for your motherhood library.

Go to: http://bit.ly/100DaysofBlessing and http://tinyurl.com/100DaysVol2

100 DAYS OF BLESING, Volumes 3 and 4

Devotions for Wives and Mothers

By Nancy Campbell

These devotions take you into God’s Word to give you meat for your mothering soul.

You will be refueled and strengthened each day.

You will be inspired and encouraged.

And you may be challenged too!

And . . . you’ll never run out! The four volumes give you 400 devotions, more than enough for the year.

Marvelous gifts for other wives and mothers too. Purchase extras and have them on hand for birthdays and baby showers etc.

Go to:

100 Days of Blessing, Volume 3 - 100 Selected Devotions by Nancy Campbell100 Days of Blessing, Volume 4 - 100 Selected Devotions by Nancy Campbell

And do you have?

100 DAYS OF INSPIRATION

A Devotional for Women of All Ages and Stages

Three generations of Family Wisdom

Authored by . . .

Nancy the grandmother,

Pearl and Serene, the daughters, and

Meadow the granddaughter.

This devotional has three devotions for each 100 days, written from three generations.

Go to:

100 DAYS OF INSPIRATION - THREE GENERATIONS OF FAMILY WISDOM

 

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 336: BOOTS ON THE GROUND

Courtney Kelly joins me today. She and her husband were not communicating but God showed her what to do? What did He tell her? What’s the secret?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Today I have Courtney Kelly with me again, so that’s going to be exciting. This morning Kelly would like to discuss with me about their family devotions time. She thought it would be good to discuss it together on this podcast. What do you actually call your time together, Courtney?

Courtney: We just call it Bible Time.

Nancy: Bible time.

Courtney: Bible Time. [laughter]

Nancy: That’s great! Everybody has their different names. It doesn’t really matter what you call it, as long as you do it! Some people call it “Bible Time,” some “Worship Time.” We call it “Family Devotions.

I think I may have told you before, the people in Holland have a very interesting name for it. I found that out as I was speaking one time at a family retreat in Belgium. I was being interpreted by a Dutch lady, because everyone speaks Dutch over there, so the interpretation was in Dutch. When we go to Europe, we always have to speak by interpretation.

I was speaking about family devotions, and the interpreter stopped. She was fumbling for a word. We eventually worked it out, but I asked my friend who had organized the retreat, afterwards I said, “Why was she having problems with that word? Because I know that you do family devotions. Many of the families do that.” She said, “Well, we don’t call it that. We call it “Finishing up the Meal.’” I had never heard of that before.

But I thought, “How true, and how amazing!” Because it really goes along with the vision God gave me so many years ago, that the table is the place where we feed the whole man, not just their hungry tummies. We feed our children’s bodies, souls, and spirits. So, we cook a wonderful, healthy meal. All the children come running because they’re hungry, and we feed their tummies.

But that’s not enough. We have to feed their souls, and that’s why I’m a great believer in having dialog and discussion at the table, so we can really get to the nitty gritty with our children, and we can all be involved. I’ve never been one who believes in that saying from the dim dark ages, where “Children should be seen but not heard.”

Well, I’m sorry. Our table was opposite to that. You could most probably hear us down the street with all my loud and very, very vocal children! As they got older, and this is one of the wonderful things, ladies, is that we talk about coming together for the family meal table, and coming together for devotions.

In the beginning, when your children are little, there’s lots of challenges. Children aren’t perfect. I can remember sometimes when I thought, “Wow! That was just impossible!” But you keep doing it, and you keep training. You get the reward. As your children get older, it’s the habit of their life!

So, you get to these most wonderful and amazing times when discussions around the table . . . I still miss them. In fact, I love it when we can get our whole family together because you can hardly hear yourself think. But it’s always so amazing, and so incredible. In fact, I remember when Evangeline went out on a mission trip. She went to India, and then she went to Israel. Then she went to Africa (Uganda).

I remember she was in Africa. I got this letter from her. Back then it was still mainly communicating by letters, not all the social media we have today. “Oh, Mom, oh, how I miss the family meal table! Could you just get a tape recorder and tape it, and send it to me?” Well, one night when all the children were home, because some were married by this time, I put the tape recorder on. Nobody knew it was on. It was discussion and hubbub of voices, and oh, goodness me! I sent it to her. Oh, she said, “It was like music to my ears!”

Then, of course, we feed the body. We feed the soul. But if we don’t feed the spirit, we send our children away from the table empty. The inner man, which is more important than the outer man is often starved! So, they had this incredible phrase. We are now finishing up the meal. They finish up the meal with the Word of God, feeding the spirits of their children, feeding their inner man. Isn’t that so great?

Of course, what people used to call it was “The Family Altar.” That’s died out. Now nobody even seems to know what that word means. But it actually comes from the Bible. It comes from Leviticus 6, where God told Moses to build the altar, and how that the fire upon the altar was to keep going. It was never, ever, ever to go out. Even when they traveled, they couldn’t let it go out. It was to be always burning.

God showed them how they could keep it burning, and that was coming to that altar, taking out the ashes, and putting on more wood every morning and every evening. It was a morning and evening principle. That’s where they got that phrase, “The Family Altar.” It was a place to meet with God, because God said, “At that altar, I will meet with you” (Exodus 29:42-45). That’s what a family altar is. We no longer build altars of stone or wood. We don’t do anything like that. But it’s a time and a place where we come to meet with God.

Anyway, tell us about what happened at your home.

Courtney: Well, I’ll just go back. My husband, and my parents, we didn’t grow up having any Bible time at home. Ever, really. My mom got saved when I was 11. She would put little Scriptures around the house for her to memorize. Of course, I memorized all of them, and they’re the Scriptures that I know best to this day.

But as far as just a Bible time, or a Bible reading, we really just depended on church services for it. It was not something that was shown to us when we were children. When we were even young parents, we didn’t know anything about this. It wasn’t until we saw the example in other people that we started doing it for ourselves.

Rob would gather the little toddlers at that time. He would use a story Bible with pictures. I remember they would always sit on the living room floor. All the little faces would be in the center. They would all be laying down. It was so adorable and heartwarming, as a mother, to see them doing that. Then they would pray at the end. Those little mumbled prayers that no one could understand. It really became the foundation of our evening way back then.

We realized that if they could memorize those pictures, then they could study their Bibles separately from us. Because like you said, they have a spirit that needs to be fed. If they’re not, they’re starving. You can see it come out in their behaviors and all of that. So, they need to be fed the Word.

Of course, they can’t do it for themselves when they’re really little. When they get older, they can. That was so important, because that’s one of our main responsibilities as parents is to get the Word into them, and to show them Who God is, and what God loves, and what God hates. We’re building faith. There are so many amazing things. That’s how we started out.

We had never done anything in the morning. For all of these years, really, we had our own private Bible time. But I even remember when Elias and Addison, my teenagers now, but when they got to be 11, I remember telling them, “I want you to start having a longer reading time in the morning. This is something that I want you to do. It’s a discipline I want you to form in your life.”

It was so amazing over the years, just to see them laying in their beds for an hour in the morning, just reading. I don’t set a time limit on it or anything. But it became something that they took on for themselves, and I was so blessed to see it. It was amazing. They continue that to this day.

I’m so thankful that I drew that line in the sand for them, because I know some parents maybe wouldn’t want to push that. They say, “Oh, it needs to be of their own.” But I wanted to catch that vision. I set rules in every other area in my family’s life, so something as important as the Word of God, I think it’s OK! Of course, they didn’t rebel against it. They loved it. There’s so much Word in them. As the other ones have come up now, they do their own private Bible time too. Then just recently . . . [music playing]

Nancy: You can just turn that off. Oh dear, so sorry about that. I didn’t realize I hadn’t done it.

Courtney: I think three months ago was when I started gathering my children for morning prayer and worship. It’s been so amazing. In the evening, we would do Bible time with Daddy. We would do prayer, but oftentimes it was just Daddy who would pray, and Daddy who would read.

We would do some singing, but then in the morning I really wanted to gather, especially my older ones, because Elias and Addison are going out to work every day now. I wanted to gather everybody before they got out the door. The only time to do that was at six, because we have cows, and we milk at 6:30.

I said, “We’re just going to do a half an hour. We’re going to start at six, and we’re going to do one worship song, and then we’re all going to go around and pray.” It has been so amazing, so amazing. It was meant to be small. I don’t know if there’s anybody else out there like me, but I know other people do so much more than this.

But for us, this was an amazing starting point. Just get up. Let’s just go into the living room. This is what it’s going to look like for right now. It has been such a blessing. My children have noticed the difference in the family. Josiah said recently, “And I remember when we started having our morning prayer time that you and Daddy started getting along.” That’s amazing! That’s great!

Of course, at first, everybody . . . they weren’t all really excited about getting up early, because they already have to get up and get out the door. There are so many things to do. But I would set the alarm and go around and wake everybody up. I never woke everyone up before. They all woke themselves up when they needed to get up. So, it was a new thing. It was harder for them to get out of bed.

I’m a driver. I tend to be a cut-and-dried commander sometimes! They would linger in bed, and we only had a half an hour! You have to get to the living room, and everybody has to use the two restrooms that we have and get in there. Actually, we only had one restroom for a while. So, it was, “We have got to get this done!”

One morning, they were all just lingering in their beds. We have two triple bunk beds, with five boys in that room. I said, “The last one in the living room has to do breakfast dishes!” All their feet hit the floor in an instant! [laughter] It was so just straight out of the military! It was hilarious! I thought, “Wow! There is a good discipline for them!” They really didn’t want to do those breakfast dishes. We had to work for it at first is what I’m saying. But everyone loves that time, and we’re thankful that we’re doing it.

Nancy: It just shows you that you have to make things happen. I love that little phrase. I coined it myself. “Things don’t just happen. You have to make them happen.” It is so true. I do believe also that, although it is the responsibility of the husband to lead his family in devotions, I do think that we, as wives, play a big part. Many times, we are the ones who get the vision for it. I’d always had that great vision for them.

When we began, years and years ago, of course, we’ve been pastoring all our years (Colin went fulltime for God when we were engaged). He was a godly man, and yet, he would forget, when we were just beginning in those early days, because men have a one-track mind. If they’re thinking about something else, well, that’s what they’re thinking about.

Whereas we as mothers, God has given us a different kind of mind. We can think about so many things at once, because we have to. We’ve got all these little ones we’re looking after. I would be disappointed if he didn’t remember, because I’m remembering!

Courtney: Of course, you remember!

Nancy: Then I thought, “Well, I don’t want to be, “OK, now you must do that!” Then I got this little idea. As we were coming to the end of our meal, I would get the Bible, or The Daily Light, whatever we were reading, and I would put it by his plate. That’s all it took; it was just that little reminder. I didn’t have to say anything. I wasn’t pushing him. I was just putting the Bible by his plate. That’s all it needed. He would pick it up and read it.

We play our part with the little things. People choose where they want to have their altar, their time, their place. We have always found it works so well at mealtimes, because that’s when you have the family together, especially as they get older. Children get involved in this and that. You’ve got older children in the home, and they’re going out to work, like you have now. The children have got jobs, but they’re still at home, so they’ve got a lot going on in their lives.

I have found that, “OK, you all come together to eat, so if we do our time with the Lord there, we’ve got them all!” If you decide, “Oh, we’ll do it later,” well, you can’t even find anybody. They’ve all gone here, there, and everywhere. I love to do it when you've got them there. I think we play a great part in preparing the meal, having meals on time, and bringing the family together. That helps to pave the way for your family devotions too.

Courtney: I completely relate to feeling like I wanted my husband to lead. I didn’t want to say anything, and I would wait, and “We’ll see if Bible time is important to him! I’ll just be quiet, because surely, he remembers, just like I would remember!” Oh, it’s such a terrible attitude! Honestly, he truly would just forget.

I remember asking him at other times, saying, “Is it important to you? Do you want to have Bible times in the evening? Would you rather I do it at a different time?” No, he did want to do it in the evening. He just honestly, truly would forget, which I couldn’t even relate to, because it was always on my mind.

Nancy: That’s right. But this is typical of most husbands. Often, I have ladies come to me and say, “I’m just waiting for him to take the lead, and he doesn’t!” The poor guy. All he needs is a little reminder. I think we can definitely do our part, not taking authority, but just in little ways.

Courtney: I found that it was OK for me to take that lead if I needed to. But it was important to have our children come together and read to them. There are maybe husbands that it’s not something they want to do at this time. I think it’s OK for the woman to read the Bible to her children. Somehow, we get stuck in our mind that, “It has to be the husband, and he’s not a leader over our family, or not a spiritual head if he’s not doing this right now the way I see it.”

Nancy: That’s right. Sometimes men have to leave very early for their jobs. Therefore, the mother can take it in his place in the morning. It’s good if he can do it for one time in the day. But sometimes he may be away for a few weeks at a time. Then the mother can do it. You don’t just forget about it, no! The mother, in his place, can then take on that role.

Courtney: Right. And you would never portray your husband as not wanting to be the leader to your children, of course! You don’t want them to disrespect him.

Nancy: I find also, even when Colin is reading the Word, he’s so great at asking questions. That is important. That keeps our children listening. All of us can get into a dream so easily. If we can, our children do. They need questions. They need things to wake them up. But even he sometimes forgets about asking questions, and he’s reading on.

So, I will say, “Oh, hey! What about this?” I’ll ask a question, and I’ll pop in a question, so it gets people wanting to answer, and gets them thinking again if they’ve gone off on some wavelength.

There are some really good Scriptures, and we can pop in and say, “Hey! Why don’t we all say this out loud together?” Because maybe husbands can get on a roll reading. They don’t realize, if they really looked around, they’d see their children lost in dreaming. Sometimes we’ve got to help keep them awake too. We can think of things to do. Of course, he’s not going to mind. “Yeah! That’s a great idea! Let’s all do it!”

Courtney: Right. And come with energy. I remember feeling like I didn’t want to train my children to be dull before the Lord. I didn’t know. In our prayer times, and in our worship, it seemed to grate on me to be in a situation where everyone’s half-asleep, praying half-hearted prayers, and singing half-heartedly. I can just burst if I’m in a church service like that! I think, “Doesn’t ANYBODY know the Lord??” [laughter] They should have an excitement about what we’re doing.

I think in our homes it can tend to naturally go that way, because you don’t have the enthusiasm of all your friends, and the other families around you. That’s something to work toward. In the morning, we say, “OK!” Everybody comes into the living room cold in our house because we have woodstove heat. You can relate to that! Everybody bundles up in the big blankets in the living room, and they get cozy right before we actually stand up.

But I say, “Come on! Stand up!” Sometimes I have to say it two or three times. “We’re going to stand up! Get on your feet!” And we stand for worship. I have to wake everybody up sometimes with a motivational “Come on! Aren’t you singing? Let’s sing!”

Nancy: I think that’s all encouraging and inspiring. I think it’s important. All of us, we see the fruit of what you're doing in your own home, because, oh, goodness me, when we come to prayer meetings, all your children are there. Your young sons are praying, and your little girls have their hands raised, praising the Lord, lost in the Lord!

I have never seen anything so beautiful! They’re not putting it on. They don’t know anyone’s watching. They’ll keep their hands raised for the whole worship time! I don’t know how they can keep them up that long! It’s so amazing!

Courtney: I can’t take any credit for that though, because I think our family really prays. We went to the Above Rubies Gulf Coast Retreat straight from Alaska. When we were in Alaska, we were going to a little country church. Everyone sat for worship. I think I was one of the only one who raised my hands. One of the elders shared one morning about how uncomfortable it made him! But he appreciated that I did it. [laughter]

But we were longing to be in a fellowship where people worshipped God freely and with affection. Then we went to the Gulf Coast Retreat, and it was like this flood of freedom for our children. It just freed them. They were so different from that point on.

I remember being there, talking to other families, and saying, “We don’t usually worship like this!” And they said, “We don’t either!” This is so powerful for us too. It has just stuck. It’s the Spirit of the Lord, I think from our corporate meetings that our children have caught. They love the presence of God, and they sense the presence of God. It’s so amazing. It’s so amazing.

Nancy: And it is the presence of God, because it’s not something that they’re trying to do. Oh, they’re just doing it because they love God! So beautiful.

Courtney: They inspire me. And I saw this guy down on Sunday, and they were pouring out prayers for him, because you know the Lord is touching them, and that He’s doing something. This could be the young man who grows up and says, “I was in a church service, and the Lord touched me, and I knew I was called.” Something like that. I see those moments, and it’s, “Oh, God! Touch them. They need to be Yours, for Your kingdom, and for Your glory forever. Have my children, have my generations. Have it all.”

Nancy: Yes. Amen! So wonderful. Tell me some other things where you've had to get ideas, or overcome, and make them happen in your home.

Courtney: Family devotions specifically? We’ve had difficulty during times of knowing where to read in the Bible, where you want something that’s going to really impact. You want to hear from the Lord, but you're not in a certain vein of things. So much of that just comes down to whether we’re in tune with the Lord, and if we’re recognizing that the Lord’s going to speak through us.

I hear the difference from when we’re just tired, and we just pick somewhere to read, or when the Lord is really moving through my husband and giving him utterance. He’s sharing, and he’s encouraging, and he’s asking questions. Sometimes that’s just a focus thing. Those are periods of our life where we have to push through sometimes in dryness. But it doesn’t mean we quit family devotions.

We’ve had to get through obstacles of our little ones not behaving. There have been months when Rob is just done with family devotions, where he has been over it, because the toddlers will not sit still. He’s stopping every ten minutes to spank them. Then we’re all grumpy. We’re all waiting, and we don’t enjoy listening to the spankings. Then everybody’s mad, and Rob says, “I quit!” [laughter] Those are real struggles that we have.

But I can recognize. Even last night, Addison came to us. I had an uncle from out of town. Addison said, “Our little ones were out of control, and I was so embarrassed!” He said, “We’ve got to do something!” Rob humbled himself and said, “You’re right.”

I realized that that’s something that I can do during the day that doesn’t have to happen at Bible time. That’s a blessing that I can give to my husband, because I’m here all day with the children, to sit them down and train them, so that when he comes home at night, they can sit. Because if you're doing something that’s already difficult, you're tired, and maybe there are other things you’re wanting to get to. If I can remove every obstacle that I can control, what a blessing to my children, to my husband, and to myself, and to our company.

Nancy: Oh yes, that is so true. I think our children, we do have to train them to sit. The table, the meal table, is a wonderful place where we train our children to sit. Often, when we have families come for a meal, I’m amazed that you notice that some children obviously aren’t trained in their own home, because they sit down, and they want to pop up. Then they want to pop up again. They haven’t even learned to sit for mealtimes, let alone to sit for the reading of the Word. That takes training. But we have to train them.

Courtney: That can be done.

Nancy: Parents ought to train their children. I think this is why . . . Today it is never like that. Back when I was growing up, we always had church together as a family. Nobody ever had separation of children. We all came to church together, and everyone sat. I must admit, I was often taken out in the middle of service and belted, [laughter] because I was a wild one.

Courtney: But look at you now! [laughter]

Nancy: But anyway . . . Many today, they say, “Oh, we could never have our children in church with us!” So, they send them off to the nursery, or the Sunday schools and everything. But often, they’re just babysitting places, because they’re never the same as being in the presence of the Lord.

In fact, I think the closer your children can get . . . when I was raising our children (of course Colin was pastoring) I would take the children right up the front because I found that when you sit at the back because “I’ve got all these little children,” it’s very distracting. You’re looking at everybody. You can see everything that’s going on. The children are being distracted, and then they get naughty. No wonder you're at the back, because they’re all misbehaving.

But then, if you go right down the front, and they’re under the eye of the preacher, they’re right there closest to the presence of the Lord . . .

Courtney: Wow!

Nancy: They change their behavior! It’s amazing! I often say to moms, “Why don’t you try it? Because it is amazing how their behavior will change when they’re up there in the front seat!”

Courtney: I always avoid the front seat, because I think they’ll be a distraction. You always try to get everybody to come closer. I’m going, “No, you don’t want us up there! We’ll have to leave and get up.”

Nancy: Oh, yes! Children are better up the front! Where they’ll behave. It’s so much easier to behave, because you’re not even distracted. You’re not distracted, your children are not distracted. If they really were, well, what would the speaker say? He might have to say something. [laughter] I think that’s something that’s worth a try.

Courtney: It is. And keeping your children in church with you is worth a try. I think we started keeping our children in church when we were visiting different churches. I would have so much anxiety when I would leave them with different nursery workers in different churches. I decided I’m just keeping them with me. We hadn’t been around anyone that did that.

All the churches we’d been to have all these youth programs. We had been in charge of youth programs ourselves, but it was one of the best things that we’ve ever done for our family. I realized very quickly that they were learning in the church service, because that was why I had sent them away, because I wanted them to learn the Bible!

I remember them sitting and drawing little pictures, and coloring, and the preacher saying, “Repeat after me! Faith!” Or something like that. And all my little ones went, “Faith!” I thought, “They’re listening!” It was this little revelation. I was so excited. We’ve never gone back, and it’s so amazing to have them in church with us. We don’t have to worry about their safety, or what movies they’re watching, or what they’re eating.

Nancy: And usually they’re given sweets, and full of sugar, and all that junk.

Courtney: They love being together! And then they’re used to being in church service. It’s not something they have to adjust to when they become 15, 16, 17 years old. They’re used to being programmed.

Nancy: They have been put out from the church service throughout their age groups. Then they get to that age where they need to come in. Well, they’re not even used to it. And statistics say that that’s when many of them just leave.

They do learn more, because often Sunday school can be just dumbing down. It’s just a little Bible story, a little activity, where here, in the main service, they are learning deep truths. They are going into them. Even though they may not fully understand them, the seeds of those truths are going into them.

I used to notice that with my own children. I would be amazed at the depth of things that they would come out with, having learned from really great Bible teachers. Whereas Sunday school . . . we’ve done all that stuff because we’ve been pastoring most of our lives.

We started off having Sunday school and youth group. Oh, goodness me, our children were the worst in the Sunday school because they always thought they knew more than the Sunday school teacher! [laughter] “She said the wrong thing!” We heard that they weren’t very well-behaved in Sunday school at all! They were the pastor’s children, and they were the worst! But when they were in the service, they were amazing! They were also learning real stuff.

It’s just a bit like when I started off schooling our children, I didn’t know about homeschooling all those 60 years ago. I can remember my oldest children, especially our eldest son, he wondered what school was for. It just did not relate to him.

In fact, I remember going to a parent-teacher interview. The teacher told me, “Your son is actually here, but he's not here. I see him looking out the window.” But she said, “He’s not daydreaming. I see his brow, his furrowed brow across his forehead. I don’t know what he’s thinking about, but he’s not here at school.”

I realized, he was obviously, he just went, because that’s what you had to do. I sent him to school. He was sitting there, and he was thinking how he was going to make this thing when he got home. The moment he got home from school, he began to create. So, his whole day at school was just thinking about how he was going to do it! It was a total waste of time because he just got on with the job at home.

Of course, when I heard about homeschooling, I really gravitated to it. But it’s that same thing. He was just getting taught stuff that didn’t relate to him at all. That can happen in Sunday School . . . they can get turned off Christianity, because it doesn’t relate. It’s not the real deep stuff. Even children can receive deep stuff, even though they may not fully understand it. They’re just getting the seeds of it. Of course, the seeds grow as they hear more and more until they get full revelation.

Courtney: And how many children’s Bible stories cut out the judgement of God, and the main point of the story? If you read Noah’s ark, I have to fill in that everyone perished, that they all drowned, that God killed them, because it’s left out in so many of the stories.

Nancy: Yes, in fact, a lot parents of little ones can just read Bible stories from books. As you say, they can be a little watered down.

Courtney: You just have to be very picky. When I find a children’s Bible story, I often look for those certain stories that I know I want to know, “What are they going to say about this story?” I always go to Pentecost because I want to read about the Holy Spirit being outpoured, and it’s often left out. Anyway, just getting really picky is a good idea.

Nancy: Yes, that’s very important. Very important. Children need to know the whole counsel of God, instead of just little things that kind of tickle their ears. We need the whole counsel of God. That’s why, in our devotions, in our Bible time every day, they’re little by little getting the whole counsel of God.

We have, at different times, we will take a book of the Bible and read a chapter each night. We still love to do this from time to time. But we usually revert back to our Daily Light on the Daily Path. We love it, because it’s only the Word of God. It’s always there; the morning and the evening reading are there for you. If you need something to help you like this, I have it available at Above Rubies. We find that helpful, and then we’ll break that every now and then by just getting into a book and reading it through. What do you do?

Courtney: In our Family Devotions? We have not used The Daily Light. I have it, but I wasn’t as crazy about it as just reading through a chapter. I have to admit it. I don’t know why that was hard for me to adjust to the way that it was written. We do just open up and read. I like to read Proverbs to the children. Rob usually reads a chapter of the Old Testament or the New Testament.

Nancy: Oh, I stayed with a family in Holland. We had come over on the overnight ferry from England, and we arrived in the early morning. It was breakfast time. They were having breakfast and then Family Devotions with their little children.

This husband was reading through the Bible, from Genesis to Revelation. Well, the chapter they were up to when we were there was a chapter of the “begets.” He had all these little children, but he did not miss one word. We sat there, and we had to go through the whole chapter of “This one begat this one, and this one begat this one.” I thought, “Wow! That is something else!”

Courtney: You don’t skip them, right? I remember reading them with our children. One of our more analytical children was catching who begat who to know, “Oh! He was from this tribe, or he was from that tribe. Wasn’t that so-and-so that did this?” It really helped him draw lines in history, which I had never appreciated before.

Nancy: That is really amazing. In fact, I read somewhere this person wrote or said, “If your name was in the begats, you would be reading them every day!”

Courtney: Oh, right! Yes!

Nancy: Anyway, I think we’ve gone beyond time again. Thank you so much, Courtney, for sharing. I know the ladies love hearing you share from your life, and from your family. So down to earth!

“Lord, we do thank You again for all Your wonderful goodness to us. Thank You that You designed families. Lord, this is Your plan. This is way You plan for us to live, in families. You have no alternative plan. We thank You, Lord. Help us, Lord, to build strong families. Lord, families that are knitted together, families that are strong in Your Word. We ask this in the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Courtney: Amen.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

DAILY LIGHT ON THE DAILY PATH

Plus

CREATIVE WAYS TO READ GOD’S WORD TO YOUR CHILDREN

The most popular Bible devotional for the last 150 years!

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Plus, this special copy of THE DAILY LIGHT has creative ideas for each month on how to make these Bible times with your children exciting and full of life.

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Bonus: At the beginning of each month you can read creative ideas on how to make your Family Devotions time exciting for your children. Children can get into a dream and turn off quickly. Instead, you will find ways to keep their attention and keep them enjoying the most important part of the day—Hearing God speak to them from His living Word!

If you already have this book yourself, you may like to purchase one to bless another family and encouraged them to get started reading God’s Word to their family.

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LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 335: Don’t Leave Your Husband Behind

Allison Hartman is with me again today. We discuss what happens to your marriage when the children grow, and the older ones begin to leave the nest. Are you and your husband ready for this new season? Have you kept the love fires burning in your marriage or do they need to be rekindled?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! I have Allison Hartman with me again. We do love doing podcasts together.

By the way, for those of you who are listening in America, have you received your magazine yet? I hope many of you have. This is number 102. I know it’s going to be such a blessing to you. If you haven’t got it yet, it will be coming, so be looking out for it.

Also, for those who are new to Above Rubies, recently someone landed at my home a box of old copies of Above Rubies. I’m always so excited when this happens because old copies of Above Rubies are like gold! They eventually just disappear. I keep one copy of every one, but there comes a time when there’s only one copy left, and I have to keep that.

So, if you are wanting any back copies, you are welcome to email me, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and tell us what you already have. Then we may be able to find some you haven’t got and send them to you. I’m so happy for you to have them and be blessed. If you send a donation for them, that would be so great, but if you can’t afford it, I will still send them to you. I’ve always made Above Rubies available freely. Oh, I just want to freely give it to you.

Of course, it’s not actually free because I have to pay for it. I have to pay. I have been saying it costs about $80,000 to print and send out each issue. But sadly, I’m realizing that this time prices have gone up. It’s going to come to well over $100,000. I still have to get money in to pay for the sending out of the rest of the magazines and for the printing. So, donations are always so welcome because that’s the only way we pay for it.

Anyway, Allison is with me. We’d better remind them what’s coming up for the retreats for next year. Do you want to tell them about those?

Allison: Yes! We’ve been putting on the Gulf Coast Above Rubies Family Camp for I don’t even know how many years. I’m so bad at that, but it’s a long time! The retreats keep growing and growing. Everybody knows about our big retreat in April which this coming year 2025, it will be April 16^th through the 23^rd at Panama City Beach, Florida.

Nancy: Doesn’t it come at Easter time?

Allison: Yes! This year, for the first time, it’s going to land during Easter.

Nancy: So, you can have a whole Easter holiday!

Allison: But then, because our retreats have grown so much, and the building that we need only holds 700 hundred people, we have had to open up a . . .

Nancy: But we squashed in more! [laughter]

Allison: We did! But we’ve had to open up a second main retreat. We do that now in January. It’s called our Winter Retreat. This year it is January 3^rd through the 10^th 2025. We’re currently at 19 families that have already registered, which seems really small, because our main retreat holds about 110 families. But we actually really like the fact that it’s a smaller retreat. You really get to know people. So, if you're scared of that big crowd in April, January is the perfect time to come. Not to mention that it’s cheaper because you're during winter break.

But I’m telling you, one of the neatest parts of our retreat is that it’s not just a one-time thing. Our retreat has become a constant community. It is the source of my children’s friends. It has been the place where I share life experiences, the ups and the downs, and the daily life. Anything that goes on in our lives, I immediately post it to our Above Rubies Signal group.

It is not something that just goes away when the retreat’s over. If you're sitting there going, “Gosh, I wish I had a great community for my children, a great peer group,” well, you need to come and be a part of this retreat, because your children are going to meet friends, and they’re going to continue those relationships.

The next retreat to be a part of is the January retreat. We’d love you to come. The website for it is https://aboverubiesgulfcoast.com/ You can see the link to register. We’d love to have you be a part of that in Panama City.

Nancy: And don’t you have a couple’s week coming up?

Allison: We do! We do. It actually is what we’re going to talk about this podcast. We have decided to do a couple’s retreat. It’s our first ever couple’s retreat. Adults only. Right now, I think we’re at 22 couples. It’s going to be June of 2025. We’re going to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico.

We’re so excited about it. Right now, the couples who are coming are all married couples. Most of us are in that same stage of life, been married for 20-40 years, I guess. If you're interested in that, you can reach out to me. You can find me on Facebook, Allison Frost Hartman, or go to the Above Rubies Gulf Coast page, and you can email us. I’ll send you all the information about the 2025 Cancun Couple’s Trip. It’s going to be so exciting!

Nancy: Wonderful! We were talking in our last podcast about how important it is to have the right friends for your children. These family retreats are the most glorious place to find friends for your children. The friendships that are being made among the young people are so beautiful, aren’t they?

Allison: We just had our third daughter’s wedding. We have two girls who are married to Serene’s two sons which is so fun. But I just thought about their wedding parties. They consisted of siblings and/or friends they’d met through the Above Rubies retreats. That’s all they have for friends.

My boys are 18, 16, and 15. Their friend group is 100% Above Rubies families’ children, from all over. They get together all the time! They’re leaving tomorrow to go to Alabama to hang out with some families that they met through Above Rubies, to go have a bonfire, worship night, spike ball tournament, and volleyball tournament. Just about every month, they get together with some of these families.

Nancy: Just so wonderful! I have to reiterate again this Scripture. It was just so powerful, as I encouraged my children as they were going through their teen years. Proverbs 13:20: “He that walks with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.” So, we hope you can make it to one of these retreats. That would be so wonderful! By the way, can we share the exciting news?

Allison: I say we do it! I say we do it!

Nancy: Oh, yes! Now Allison has two more grandbabies on the way!

Allison: Two more!

Nancy: Because Halle and Cedar are expecting their second baby. And Vision and Eden are now expecting their first baby! And they will be my great-grandbabies!

Allison: Yes! Serene and I are going to share three grandbabies, two one month apart. And yes, we’ll have three great-grandbabies with you guys. That’s so fun!

Nancy: And another amazing thing! Serene is so blessed at this moment, because she has three sons whose wives are pregnant. Her three oldest sons, Arden, Cedar, and Vision are all expecting babies, all close to one another. So amazing!

And, of course, Arden and Esther, if you've read about them in the magazine, and I have done a podcast with Arden and Esther as he shares that incredible seven years they went through as he was fighting cancer. Because he did stem cell replacement at the end, they said that he would never be able to conceive. But God has done the miracle and they’re having this precious baby!

Allison: So exciting!

Nancy: Three more babies coming into their family, two more coming into yours. Isn’t it exciting? Oh, it’s so wonderful!

Allison: We’re excited. Sisters married brothers, so we’ll have babies one month apart. Pretty cool! Praise God!

Nancy: I can’t imagine, well I can. But Eden and Halle having babies together! Aren’t they gorgeous!

Anyway, talking about your children growing up and getting married and now you're a grandmother, what’s so different in your life now?

Allison: Well, again, if you don’t know my story, we have 11 children. They range from 25 down to four. I’m kind of in a very unusual state because I’m 49. I’ll be 50 in one month, in December.

Nancy: Woooo!

Allison: My body changed. It is definitely changing. I always thought, gosh, when I thought about not being able to have children it’s going to be so sad! And it is. It is sad. I look at nursing moms. But yet, I don’t look at it in a sad way, like I’m depressed, because my youngest is four, and my oldest grandbaby is two. I’ve not missed that two-year gap. We literally went from having our two-year-old to having a grandbaby.

Now, it’s just amazing. I was telling you that I just recently made a post on Facebook about my husband and I going on a plane and I’d just got back from Fort Myers, having polarity therapy done to my neck and my back. On the plane, the guy announced, “All the mothers of littles, and nursing babies, board the plane!” I looked around, and I just assumed that was me! But then I thought, “It’s not me! I have no littles! I’m with my husband only.”

But for 25 years, that was me. We always got on the plane first because we always had littles. I’d been nursing for 25 years, with no breaks. I’ve tandem-nursed nine times, so nine babies I’ve tandem-nursed. I think my first three were the only ones I didn’t tandem-nurse. In fact, my four-year-old, I’m still nursing, which is ridiculous when I think about it, because she’s so big. But that’s part of me just kind of holding onto that last bit.

I think us mothers in this stage of this transition from nursing mothers to now this new stage, I just want to encourage you that it doesn’t have to be a negative. In fact, it can be quite positive, because the reason I was able to . . . When I got on that plane, I didn’t have to fight with little ones to keep them happy on the plane. I got to hold my husband’s hand and snuggled on his shoulder. I got to do nothing but hang out with him. What a neat experience that I haven’t experienced in 25 years!

That’s why we’re doing this couples’ trip, because we’re recognizing that now is the first season in my life that I can completely say, “I am focused on my marriage one hundred percent.” I was telling you earlier that I’ve read that one of the fastest-growing ages of divorce in our world is age 50, which is right where I’m at.

It’s because most people, now I’m not in that category, but most people, their children are graduating from high school. When they turn 50, their children are typically going off to college. Their job is done, right? So, they look at their spouse, and they think, “I don’t even know you. I’m divorcing you, because in the last 18, 20 years of our marriage, all we’ve done is parent. We haven’t really worked on our marriage.”

Nancy: You think that you’d do that together!

Allison: Yeah, but that’s what you and Granddad have done, and that’s what me and Daniel have done. But most married couples at that age, a lot of them are getting divorced because they just haven’t focused.

My encouragement is, No.1, if you're listening, and you're that mom of littles, boarding that plane, and you're exhausted, and you're tired, and you're like, “My whole life is about changing diapers and making food!” . . . don’t forget your marriage, because you don’t want to be at that stage at 50, going, “Huh. I don’t even know you. All I’ve done is co-parent with you.”

That’s No. 1. As moms of littles, remember you were married first. Your marriage is what’s so important. It’s interesting, our daughter who we just said is having a baby, when she announced her pregnancy, she said, “I’m having a baby!” And I immediately said, “Oh gosh! When are you due?” She’s like, “I’m due in June.” I was like, “Oh, Eden, that’s when we’re going to Mexico! What if I miss the birth? This is terrible! I’m going to have to cancel the trip!”

When I told Daniel, my husband, “I don’t know what to do! I can’t miss her birth!” He said, “Oh, we’re going to Mexico! We’ll have lots of grandbabies, Allison! We’re going to Mexico because our marriage is what our priority is.” I was like, “OK! I guess you're right!” Yes, I want to be at my daughter’s birth but more than anything, when our children get married, they don’t look back and think, “Oh, but my mom and dad are going to miss me!” No! They’re moving on! Their husband is their most important priority.

Nancy: That’s right.

Allison: But yet, us mothers, now our daughters are married, what are we doing? Are we prioritizing being grandparents and being the mothers-in-law? No, we need to be prioritizing that my role right now is being married to Daniel Hartman. It’s got to be the No. 1.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at, and I thought, “What an important message to send to other moms who are in my shoes!” You’re going through that stage where you're not getting pregnant. It doesn’t look like you're probably going to have any other children. Gosh, if I got pregnant, it would be amazing! But for the first time in my life, I’m not thinking about that. I’m not constantly wondering, “Am I going to get pregnant?” I’m thinking, “Wow! I have all this time now to focus on our marriage.”

Nancy: OK! What are you doing? What are some of the things that you are doing that you haven’t felt that you've been able to do before?

Allison: I think one of the biggest things is, well, two things. Bringing back the point of peers, I’m a firm believer that having good peers for our children is very important. But I am even more convinced, more than ever, that having good peers as married couples is so important.

Nancy: It doesn’t actually matter what age you are. Your peers are always important.

Allison: Absolutely! I notice that when I’m around other women like you, or like Serene, or like other moms, their speech is all positive. Their talk about their husbands is positive. You tend to gravitate and talk about what the ones that you're around talk about. You don’t want to watch for things that are not good for you when you're around people that would never want to watch that.

However, when you're hanging around peers . . .  Like our last podcast, we talked about going to concerts that other worldly people are going to, your bar is lowered. So, that’s No. 1. Daniel and I, we purposefully and intentionally choose to be around couples . . . we have wonderful friends in Pensacola, the Dolls, Christy and Doug Doll. We go on dates with them, probably weekly. We’d probably go more if we weren’t as busy as we are. We both own our own businesses.

But every time we’re with them, I said this to them the other day. I thought, “Isn’t it interesting, that every time we go on a date with you, our conversation always shifts to things of God?” Always! We’re always talking about Scriptures. We’re always talking about what God’s doing in our lives. Always, our conversation is about the things of the Lord. I haven’t had a couple of friends like that in most of our marriage. Most of our couple are good. Our conversations are good, but they’re neutral. They’re not bad or good. Does that make sense?

Nancy: Yes.

Allison: They don’t challenge us to be better wives and husbands. They’re not the ones that I would go to and cry on their shoulder when our marriage is struggling, or our children have done something that we’re not happy with. What do we do? What couples are in your life who are going to challenge you to be better? Same with our children. We want them to hang around with good friends.

But then I think the other thing is that we do is prioritize going on dates. We’re constantly thinking of our next date. Not just nightly dates, but we even go on weekend dates, or weeklong dates. We just went to Fort Myers to have this polarity therapy done. Yeah, it doesn’t sound like fun.

I got 80 shots in my neck, because I have this bad neck that is caused by bad posture which is really interesting. I realized that my neck is aligned wrongly because of bad posture. It’s caused by our photography business, so I’m constantly straining my neck towards the computer screen, staring. I have literally shifted my neck, my C-1 and C-2, out of alignment.

That’s what’s causing my neck pain, which in today’s world (I think about every teenager you know, their heads are down, looking at their cell phones). It’s so bad for your posture. But that’s another whole podcast!

We went and had this done and someone said to me, “How neat! You and your husband did do this together!” It was neat! It was fun. We made it fun. We went to Fort Myers and rented a car. We couldn’t find a single car in the town, so we had to go to the private rental car called Touro, where you rent someone’s car. We rented a Tesla. It was fun. We went to this restaurant.

Anything you do with your husband make it a fun experience. Enjoy, savor those moments, because you haven’t been able to do that while you've been raising your children. You haven’t been able to go sit in a restaurant.

I’m around my granddaughters right now. They’re in that two-year-old, one-year-old and all they do is cry and scream in the car. I’m forgetting that that was my life a few years ago! So, as I’m with my husband, and there’s no one screaming in the car, I need to appreciate that! “Thank You, God, for no screaming in the van! No screaming in the car! We can just get in and we go.” I’m preaching to myself because I really want to savor these moments.

Nancy: Oh, yes! That is so wonderful. When you're raising your children, a lot of people say, “Well, try to get out on date nights.” But it never really worked for us. I don’t know. We just found it so difficult to get away when we were raising the children because you don’t trust everyone to look after them.

Allison: But you can have a date sitting in your front yard! In a car. We’d go on Tucker Carlson dates. We’d just go sit in our car and listen to Tucker Carlson [laughter], and then talk about it! Anything you can do. You don’t have to spend money.

Nancy: No. That’s so right.

Allison: You can just go and sit in your car, and not tell your children that you're parked out front! [laughter] You can watch them but just have that time by yourself.

Nancy: I know. I often think of these women who love to have these, what do they call them? Girls’ nights out?

Allison: Girls’ night out.

Nancy: Girls’ weekends away. You know what? I can’t be bothered with it. I think, to go out and spend time with another lady, when I could spend time with my husband, which is so more exciting. Why would they want to do that?

Allison: And it is so popular right now. I mean, Nancy, you have no idea. That’s what all my age group is doing. They’re all doing runs together, 5K’s together. They’re working out, which is great, but they’re doing it with their girlfriends. I don’t really even have girlfriends. I really don’t, because any time I have free that we’re not working, or spending time as a family, I want to spend with my husband.

Nancy: Exactly!

Allison: But I think our world is catering to that, and encouraging that, because most people are in unhappy marriages. So, they want to go spend time with other people who are in unhappy marriages so that they can talk about their unhappy marriages!

Nancy: Yes! And that’s what they do! It’s all so negative.

Allison: So dangerous. 

Nancy: One negative word and then that releases another negative word. Someone only has to say something negative about their husband, and, oh yes, someone else has another negative to say. I have always proved that that if a conversation gets onto a negative, people gravitate to that, so the negatives just become more and more and more. But, if you say a positive, it’s amazing how, yes, that promotes someone to say a positive thing. So, then it becomes more positive.

Allison: Well, it’s almost like peer pressure, right? If your friends are just constantly bad-talking their husbands, you almost feel obligated to also say something negative about your husband. We have a home church, and we’ve got about 13 families. What we found is that we’ve had a lot of young families come to us. What I’ve noticed is if I’m not careful, we can really have that conversation going towards the negative of our husbands. Oh, they overslept. They didn’t want to come to church. They didn’t want . . .

In the same way, you can steer the conversation to make people feel awkward if they talk negatively about their husbands. It’s like the modesty thing. If you're around a modest person, you're very aware of what you're wearing. You want to make sure that you're wearing things that are modest. In the same way, if you're hanging around people who just don’t care, your desire to be modest is kind of different. You don’t really care as much because you know they don’t.

So, what do you do? Well, you intentionally put yourself in a circle of friends whose conversation is constantly aboveboard, who are constantly striving to be where you just want to brag on your husband, even if you don’t maybe feel that way at that moment. You left the house thinking not good thoughts, maybe. He drives you crazy. But instead of wanting to say that, you think of, “Oh, I have such a hard-working husband!”

What’s going to happen is that other mom who’s listening is like, “Oh, I was about to say something bad about mine, but I don’t want to now, because I’ll feel stupid.” You’re right. My husband is a, whatever. Yeah, it’s an amazing thing.

Nancy: Yes, yes. It’s so great, so wonderful. God is so good. It makes you realize too, Allison, that our child-bearing years are really such a short time of our lives. When you think of maybe, depending on when you get married, 22, maybe to just in your 40’s. That is a very short time when you can live into your 80’s or 90’s. It’s not a big part of your life! We do need to embrace that time of our lives and not be thinking of, “Oh, when will these childbearing years end?”

Of course, so many, even in the Christian church, they only have a very short childbearing time. They only have one or two. Oh, that is so terrible! I think in those years, and we are in our childbearing years until we reach menopause. People say, “Oh, so you get pregnant when you're in your thirties.” They’re just astounded! But no! We can get pregnant in our 40’s. How old were you when you had your last baby?

Allison: I was 45.

Nancy: Yes, 45. They say that current statistics are that most women are infertile by the time they’re about 45. But you know, people can get pregnant later than that. It’s all up to the Lord, because He’s in charge.

But we need to embrace our childbearing years because they’re going to end! They’re going to end. Help! It’s been well over 35 years or more since I went through menopause. And look at all these years! Goodness me! So many of those years I still dreamed of having another baby to nurse. Then I did the crazy thing of taking a pregnancy test at 70! Remember?

Allison: I remember you doing that. [laughter]

Nancy: Thinking I was pregnant! I was so nauseated. Thinking I was pregnant. “Oh well, let’s take one!” Of course, Colin and I were so sad when it was negative! [laughter] But I think we make the most of every season. We make the most of our childbearing years. We don’t let them run away on us. We don’t say “No” to God. Then we embrace every baby He wants to give us.

But then, when those years end, OK. Then we have this new season, when our marriages should always be flourishing. But then we can have time to make them FLOURISH EVEN MORE!

Allison: One thing I’m always . . . I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone who’s ever said, “I regret having more children.” No one’s ever said that. No one. We were talking last night how you, Miss Nancy, are kind of famous throughout the world. Well, our big family is kind of famous in our town.

We’re known because we take all the school pictures. People know who we are. We take that seriously because people are watching us like a hawk. Of course, a lot of people probably want us to fall on our faces, so they can pick us apart. But the one thing that I think is interesting is that we’re known because we have eleven children. People think that’s interesting. Interesting. Maybe not something they admire, but no, I think some do admire it.

In fact, I recently got awarded WOMAN OF THE YEAR in our town. It’s kind of funny, because it’s a small town. But one thing that they noticed that they said in my speech where they were introducing me, they kept mentioning that “She’s a mother of many. She’s a grandmother now.” I thought I would get the award because of my community involvement but they didn’t mention that as much, even though we do serve our community a lot. But they did mention a lot about my being a mother.

Because of that acknowledgement, I get a lot of private messages, and a lot of comments on my Facebook post. Almost always, it was, “Man, I regret not having more children! I admire you so much.” Many people are not “I want eleven children,” but most of them that are already past the time, they will say, “I wish I had had more. I wish I had let God be.”

I need to stop and say to everyone who’s listening, just because you allow God to choose the size of your family doesn’t mean you're going to have eleven children. I think that’s probably one of the biggest misconceptions of Above Rubies, that people will say you're all about the numbers. It’s not.

Nancy: Right.

Allison: It’s the idea of just trusting God and that number can be one. That number could be zero. That number could be eleven, or that number could be 19. I just had to say that you never hear people say, “Gosh, I’m so glad I only had two children!” They always say, “I wish I had trusted God, and I had filled my house.” They look at us in an admiring way, like, “I want that.” We couldn’t do what our family does, which is run several successful businesses, if it wasn’t for our family size.

Nancy: That’s true! Oh, yes!

Allison: It’s impossible. We photograph 70 schools, and our competition in our town, I ran into her at the dentist’s office. We’re amiable with her. She said, “I have to ask you. How do you do it? How do you photograph 70 schools? It’s impossible because the numbers don’t line up. You can’t be at that many schools at once.”

I said, “Well, I birthed all my employees! And it’s true! We’re at three different schools at once because of my children. My older children run our crews.” She’s like, “Oooooohhh!” I think she has one child, and I think she’s adopted. I don’t put her down for that, but my point is, you can do so many greater things with a big crew!

Nancy: And that’s the thing. They think, “Oh, I will limit my family so I can do this and this and this!”

Allison: Oh, no!

Nancy: The opposite is so true! You do far more than they can even think. You influence the world more. But as we close, let’s just read the Scriptures. Psalm 92. It’s a picture of those who are getting older. It says here in verse 12: “The righteous shall FLOURISH like the palm tree: he shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon. Those that be planted in the house of the LORD shall FLOURISH in the courts of our God. They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and FLOURISHING.”

I think that’s a beautiful testimony of our marriages, that they shouldn’t get boring and dry and old. That is a sad thing, because there are many people who get into their middle age, and to tell you the truth, they are so boring! You hear that they’re starting to go into single beds!? I beg your pardon.

Allison: Oh, I know.

Nancy: Then they end up in separate rooms? What has happened? They’re meant to be a married couple! Oh, I love that Scripture in the Song of Solomon, because the Song of Solomon is about the husband and the wife. Of course, it can also be a picture of Christ and His bride.

But it says there, the husband is talking to his wife. He says: “Our bed is green.” You notice it says: “our bed”? It doesn’t say “our beds.” “Our bed is green.” The word “green” there means “luxuriant” and “life-giving” and “verdant.”

“Verdant” is a very bright, lush green. Did you know there’s a difference in greens? We have beautiful green lawns here in America. They look lovely and green. We have green trees and green vegetables.

But you know, when I go back down to New Zealand (one day you've got to come with us). I go down to New Zealand, and my eyes are freaked again, because everything’s greener! It’s something about the ozone layer down there that makes everything green.

Of course, it’s worse for the sun. I grew up as a child with freckles and sunburn and blisters because the sun was so strong, even though you didn’t think it was. It wasn’t hot. But it was just this strong sunlight. It grows this green, and I go back, and it’s so green! It’s that luxuriant, verdant green.

That’s how we are meant to be in our marriages, in our relationship in our marriages, in even our bedroom in our marriages. Some people may have a green bedspread, but you don’t have to have a green bedspread. You just have to have a green bed that is always FRESH and EXCITING and LUXURIANT, and never boring or dry. What do you say?

Allison: Absolutely! We were just joking, because we went to this hotel room in Fort Myers, and we were both so sore after our procedures. We got a bedroom with one bed, because we didn’t need the two beds. We got in this bed, and we were both so miserable, because we were still stiff from our procedures. We both had it done.

The next night we said, “Let’s get two beds. It’s the same price.” So, we got our bedroom with two beds. He slept in one and I slept in the other. We just stared at each other. I was like, “Wow! This is what most married couples probably do when they’re old!” It was the first time in 27 years we’d ever slept in separate beds! And in that situation, I was so happy to have my space!

He woke up the next morning, and he was diagonally in the bed. He had taken over the whole thing. I was like, “OK, we’re not doing this ever again!” But no, I can’t even imagine. I can’t. But it’s very common.

Nancy: Well, I think you love a . . .

Allison: We love a king bed!

Nancy: Because you've had all your children sleeping with you! I can remember when we had, not just a queen, but what do you call it here?

Allison: A double.

Nancy: We only had a double bed, and all the children would come in. I don’t know how we fitted them in, but we did. But now, even now, the other day I said to Colin, “Come in and help me make this king-sized bed.” It’s good to have someone on the other side. I said to him, “Darling, I’m so glad we don’t have a king-sized bed! I would never find you!”

Allison: [laughter] That’s right. That’s right!

Nancy: We hardly move from one another all night.

Allison: That’s so good.

Nancy: “Oh Father, we just thank You so much that You are our God. Thank You that we can talk about all these things. Thank You for all the wonderful young mothers listening, that You will bless them, Lord, and help them to embrace this glorious season of their lives, which goes so quickly.

“And, Lord, all the older mothers listening, I pray that You will bless them and pour out Your Spirit upon them. Lord, that You will give them such a new vision for their marriages, to make them so glorious and lush and fresh and green and alive. Lord God, that You will save them from boringness and staleness. I pray that You will do a beautiful thing in their lives. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Allison: Amen. Amen.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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