YOU MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT IT TO BE
I don’t usually take time to answer all the comments on the threads to my posts. However, I would like to clear up a few things regarding, “WHAT ABOUT A ‘DADDY NIGHT’”? Some mothers replied that they felt direct communication with the husband would be better than trying to “trick” him into enjoying a special time at the meal table.Two comments: firstly, I am sure the wife whose husband didn’t like to come to the meal table has already had words with him. It seems to me that words hadn’t worked! I have done enough counseling in our 60 years of marriage to know this can be true.
Secondly, making a special mealtime to encourage children to bless their father is not something to “trick” the husband. It should be a joy for a wife to do this even if her husband is the most “perfect” husband.
I can’t imagine a husband having to come to a mealtime where nothing is special night after night just because she has told him what he should be doing. Many husbands will do the opposite when told what to do by their wives. Unless they are wimps. However, there are too many husbands who truly don’t know the power of the meal table. They have never enjoyed it in their own home growing up. And they need to get a taste of the joys of the family table.
One wife mentioned that I advocated spending two days preparing the meal! I didn’t say those words. I said you may need to start a couple of days earlier to get the children excited about writing cards and taking time to do it. You often need that time, sometimes more. You don’t need two days to prepare a special meal.
And another writes “at no time in the post is the woman considered at all.” True. I wasn’t writing about pampering the wife. I was writing about a suggestion to make the family meal table positive. And that can take sacrifice. It can take time.
And dear wives and mothers, isn’t this what it is all about? Seeking to bless our husbands. To make life more wonderful for them. To make the meal table a beautiful time of love and harmony for him and for the children. Yes, it will take a little more work and sacrifice from us. It takes thought and time and prayer and action. But it is all worth it. And this is life. When you think of yourself and your rights and how you must be considered, it only tends to thoughts of “me” and “myself” and ultimately to self-pity. Shouldn’t we base our lives on the words of Jesus? “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it” (Mark 8:35).
No, we are not thinking of ourselves but of the other person. Of our husband. Our children. And future generations. I believe the family meal table is one of the most powerful times of every day. It should never be normal. Boring. Status quo. We as wives and mothers have the power to make every mealtime a powerful and amazing time.
It is not only thinking about what we will cook for the meal, but what we will talk about together. If we don’t think about that, the conversations will be about nothingness and go nowhere. When you take time to think about it, you can have the most glorious fellowship and wonderful discussions.
Your table is an altar. You sacrifice your own time to make it special for your family. My goal is “to make every meal a love affair.” And at least once a week to do something special and different. Plus, we enjoy Shabbat every Friday night which is the most wonderful family blessing meal where the father extols his wife and blesses his children.
It was never in my mind to “trick” this husband but to give him a little taste of what it can be like. When a husband begins to truly enjoy the family meal table, he is going want to be there. And of course, the iPhone will be left behind because the family table is too exciting.
We have the power to make this happen, dear mothers.
Love from Nancy Campbell
Photo: Ready to sit down for our evening meal last night. This tablecloth comes from Liberia. As you know, we adopted four children from Liberia, and I loved to put on an African tablecloth for them every now and then. I still enjoy this lovely bright tablecloth.
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