Through Faith AND Patience
Our two children were born March 13, 1981 and December 26, 1982. They were very ill from the day they were born, causing us to resent them just a little. We had never really known a family that truly nurtured their children; thus we had no example to follow. The world taught us to just "make it"' until they were grown.
We were even having a hard time with that. Therefore in the summer of 1983, my husband chose to have a vasectomy. We had an elder son and then a daughter; what the world deemed as the perfect family. What more could we ask for? Our family was complete and we would have no more worry about more children coming along.
Three years later, on March 11, 1986 we asked Jesus to come into our hearts and forgive us of our sins. He gave us such a desire for His Word. We had no one to disciple us one-on-one, but using His Word, we were taught by the hand of God. He began to remake our shattered lives.
Another three years later, on January 1, 1989, 1 woke up to read my Bible. It was New Year’s Day and I had a new commitment to serve Christ. I had such a zeal for the things of God. I began to read in Genesis. The usual eight to ten chapters didn't seem to satisfy that morning. I kept reading. The phone rang several times.
With each ring I would think to myself, "I'm glad that phone is ringing because I need to get up and get something else done today" but when each conversation ended, I found myself being drawn back to the scripture. It was so unusual to be drawn back to His Word time and time again. I would soon know why.
As I sat and read, I was so excited and filled with anticipation as to what God had to say to me that day. God is so good. Every day He gives me something new for the day. What would it be today? Then I read Genesis 25:24, "And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb." A satisfaction came over me and I was able to put down the Word of God. But I was baffled. Was God promising me another child? How could that happen?
It was impossible. Yet, I believed it was God's word for me that day.
Every day I thought about the word that God had given me. I began to pray and ask God what He meant by the words that I had read. I wanted to know why God did not let me put His Word down that morning. We had never heard of reversals, so they were not even an option to us. I came to the conclusion that God must have adoption in His plan for our lives.
He had radically changed our hearts regarding children, to the point of giving me the desire to have more of them. With this desire, I would tell myself that we had sinned against God by having a vasectomy and there was no way to change things except to adopt and love someone else’s children. Each time I came to that conclusion, it seemed God would not let me rest in it.
A few weeks later, I was in a doctor's office with one of my children when I glanced at a magazine and saw the headlines, "Vasectomy Reversals". I had never heard of this before. I quickly picked up the magazine and began to read. It was incredible. It was also $20,000, which insurance would not pay. I put the magazine down thinking that this must not be God's way for us. We didn't have any money.
I found myself continually thinking about the article I had read. A few weeks later, I was in a dentist office and lo, there again was another article about reversals. In disbelief, I picked up the magazine and began to read. This magazine stated that the cost of a reversal was about $12,000, much lower than the first, but still far beyond any means that we had.
It was in the Fall of that same year that my husband went to an Urologist concerning side aches he had been having. After being examined, the doctor said, "I could do surgery and take care of this pain or you can just live with it."
\My husband decided to live with the pain. We were getting ready to leave the doctor's office when out of the clear blue sky he said, "By the way, if you ever want to have a reversal done, let me know." There it was again, right in front of us. The total cost, $12,000.
My husband and I talked on the way home but he was not convinced he wanted more children. The Lord had indeed changed his heart but he felt we had enough. The subject was dropped. I began to fast and pray. I had to know if a reversal was God's plan for the children I believed He would give us one day.
I made a phone call to the doctor's office that had mentioned it to us. I found that this doctor was one of the leading reversal doctors in the country. He practiced in a large city about an hour away and came to our area once a week to see patients. They had never done this surgery in the country hospital we lived close to, so we would have to travel to a large city.
To make a long story short, after checking with the doctor he agreed that he would bring one of his nurses with him and do the surgery at our country hospital. His charge would be $1800, the hospital charge $3200 - a total of $5000.
I brought the subject up to my husband once again. To my surprise, God had changed his heart also. We checked again about having the reversal done and found that both the hospital and doctor would allow us to pay the bill a little at a time until it was paid off. The surgery was performed in March 1989, the first be performed at that little country hospital. It was a success.
As I read God's Word, He continually reassured me of rearing more children. On January 4, 1990, I read Jeremiah 33:14 "Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will perform that good thing which I have promised....." I felt God was confirming in my heart more children. Two days later came Psalm 145:19, "He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him:...." I believed God would give me children from my own womb.
I believe I now know why I was unable to stop reading my Bible that January 1, 1989. 1 know why our child was sick that day and had to be in the doctor's office. I know why we were in the dentist office. I know why my husband had the side aches, which disappeared as soon as the reversal was performed! God is sovereign and His timing is perfect. It is our job to obey. It is His job to do with our lives what He wants to do.
It has been eight years since our reversal. God has not given us any more children, yet He continues to give us contentment beyond measure. He has worked in our hearts and taught us so much about nurturing the children that we do have. We give Him the glory for the transformation that has taken place in our lives and we look to the day when He will bless our quiver and make it more full.
DEBBIE DUFFER
St. James, Missouri, USA.
David and Debbie have two children, Jeremy (16) and Jessica (15).
Written March 1997.
STOP PRESS:
A SPECIAL CHRISTMAST GIFT!
Since writing this article, David and Debbie had found out that God is graciously giving them a very special Christmas gift, due December 25th 1997- a new baby! Oh how we rejoice with them. After 15 years, there will be a new baby in their home again. The doctor who did the reversal said that if they didn't conceive within three years of the reversal, they would most probably never conceive. However, David and Debbie continued to trust God and after eight long years after their reversal, He has rewarded them. Truly, it is by faith and patience that we inherit the promises!