Pain After Vasectomy
During our engagement in 1981, we attended premarital counseling with our pastor. At one of these classes he encouraged us to read the section in our book we were using as a study guide to decide how we would handle "family planning". So from the beginning of our marriage, we both felt that we were totally responsible for how many, how soon, and how close our children would be.
This idea came from the world, the church, this Christian book we were using as a study guide, and the medical profession. Never once did anyone ever suggest that we go to the Scripture and find out what God had to say, and sadly, though we were both Christians, the idea never occurred to us.
We were married two years when our daughter was born. We were happy and thanked God for our little miracle whom we named Amy. She was almost three when her little brother joined our family. We also thanked God for this little miracle. Several people from our church commented on how we had the perfect family and that two children was enough in this day and time.
Brad developed severe asthma when he was one, and we were inclined to agree with this statement. We looked at permanent options for birth control. Because we were so young, (my husband, David, was 26 and I was 24), David's dad counseled waiting awhile. We took this advice and decided to wait until I was 30.
As David's 30th birthday approached, I started talking about doing something permanent then, instead of waiting two more years. Brad was almost old enough for school and I wanted to go to college. Why wait? We didn't want anymore children. We had the perfect family and we didn't want any surprises. So we made an appointment for David and in August of 1991 he had a vasectomy.
VASECTOMY PAIN FOR FOUR YEARS!
We expected no problems because the doctor had told us this was minor surgery, plus being a medical assistant, I had assisted with this procedure several times and had never known anyone to have any serious problems. However, about 48 hours after the surgery David was in severe pain. The pain lasted approximately two hours. We had to go to the emergency room for more pain medication. David continued to have severe stabbing pains periodically for the next four years.
The doctor said there wasn't anything he could do, as it was a side effect of the surgery. It was amazing how many people we encountered after the surgery who also had problems like this. We couldn't believe that we never heard about all the problems men have had after this surgery. We even found out that there is a higher incidence of prostate problems and cancer in men who have had vasectomies.
About one year after David's vasectomy, the Lord began speaking to us about homeschooling. A friend loaned us Mary Pride's book, All the Way Home. As we read, we were convicted about homeschooling, but we were also convicted in another area. We realized that since God loves us and cares about every detail of our lives, He wants control of everything, including how many children we have. We both repented for taking family planning in our own hands, but then a long three-year struggle began.
The reason this became a struggle for us was that I felt we needed to make restitution and have a reversal. David felt that because we had repented, God would give us more children if He wanted us to have them.. It was a long three years. Each passing month I longed for children but David was adamant that it was in God's hands.
For the first time in 13 years of marriage we had an obstacle we could not overcome. I tried very hard to take the place of the Holy Spirit and to convict David that he needed to have the reversal. This only made David more convinced that he was right.
We finally came to a point were David was adamant that he did not need to have a reversal and he didn't want me to talk about it any more. I was devastated and cried out to the Lord, "Lord, I've tried everything I know to do and say but he won't let me talk about it anymore." This happened on a Thursday and I moped around until Sunday.
On Sunday, David had to work and so the children and I attend a home fellowship to which we had been invited. While there I met a family who have nine children. I talked to the wife and she shared that her and her husband had struggled over allowing God to plan their family. I then shared my story.
Lovingly and gently, she pointed out that our problem was not over letting God plan our family, but one of headship. I was trying to be the spiritual leader of our home and had basically gotten into a tug of war with my husband.
She pointed out that when a man and woman get in a tug of war, the man usually wins (even if it appears that the woman has) but if a woman will let God get in the tug of war with the man, the outcome would be much different. Right then, the Lord convicted me that this was the truth and I recognized I had undermined my husband's authority.
I waited up for David to get home from work that night and repented of my lack of submission. I shared what had happened at church that day and how I realized how wrong I was. I thought this was the end, but it was only the beginning. While mowing the lawn the next afternoon, the Lord impressed on me the need to apologize to the children for not being the wife and mother God had called me to be. I asked forgiveness from the children too and went to bed feeling very forgiven, no longer weighed down with my burden.
At 4.00 a.m. in the morning I awoke by David jumping into bed saying, "You aren't going to believe it. The most incredible thing happened at work tonight. Do you still have the name of that doctor that does the reversals as ministry? I want you to make an appointment tomorrow.
God spoke to me tonight and He brought something to my attention that you never thought of." Believe me, I thought I had conjured up every argument in the book to throw at him. God showed David that every excuse that he has used to not have a reversal was selfishness!
David wanted what God willed for his life as long as it fitted in with what the world considered success - children raised before we were too old, money set aside for retirement, money for college, a nice home, etc. God opened his eyes to see that what the world calls the best is not always the best for us.
I scheduled the appointment the next day. Almost four years to the day David had a reversal done by Dr. Bledsoe in Arkansas. Since the reversal, David has had no pain. Six months after the reversal I conceived but lost the baby at 11 weeks gestation. I conceived again four months later, but also lost that baby at 11 weeks.
The Lord was my Comforter. At this writing, I am 24 weeks pregnant and due in October 97. We are greatly looking forward to this and any other blessings God may have in store for us.
Columbia, Tennessee, USA
David and Sherri’s children are:
Written June 1997
Awaiting first reversal baby.