1 Kings 17:17, “…the woman, the mistress of the house.”

Dear homemaker, how do you picture yourself in your home? Trapped? Imprisoned? Downgraded? Bored? Frustrated? Or are you reigning as the Queen of your home?

God intends for us to reign as queens. The Old Testament calls you “the mistress of the house.” The Hebrew word for ‘mistress’ is ‘baalah’ which is simply the feminine word for ‘baal’. It means ‘to be master, to have dominion over.’

There is another word that is also used for ‘mistress’ in the Old Testament. It is the Hebrew word ‘gbereth’. Once again, it is the feminine word of master, ‘gbiyr’ and means ‘to be strong, valiant, to prevail.’

It is not only men who want to have dominion. There is something in a woman that wants to have dominion also. God appointed it that way. Immediately after God told Adam and Even to “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth,” He then said to them, “Subdue it, and have dominion…” These words were not only spoken to the man, but to the woman. 

Now just a minute, I am not leading you down a path of deception. I am not saying that you are to take over the rulership of your home. Let’s get things straight. We are privileged to submit to our husband’s leadership, authority and protection. However, under his covering and protection, God has given us a sphere of rulership – a realm where we are to rule and reign! What is this domain? It is our home.

God wants you to be the ‘mistress’ – governing over the domestic affairs of your home. Your home is the center of your life. It is a place of challenge, creativity and celebration. You rule over your kitchen, making sure that your husband and family are daily nurtured with nutritious life-giving meals. You preside over the educating of your children. You administrate the cleaning of your home. You direct the ideas, the projects and the plans that you and your children are currently working on.

You practice hospitality – planning when you will invite each particular family or lonely person to come and eat at your table. You think about what you will feed them and how you can make them feel special. You work on assignments with your children in order to reach out to the poor and needy. You are constantly making your home a creative, interesting and sacred place to live in. 

You plan, plant and work your garden to feed your family and beautify your home. And of course you are full-time nurturing, loving and encouraging your husband and children. Oh your life is FULL! There is so much to reign over. You never have enough time to fulfill all your great visions. Of course, as queen of your home, you are not doing everything yourself, but training your children to take over in all these areas.


And yet there are many who are bored with their home. They have not yet seen the vision that their home is their greatest sphere of influence for God.  They do not have the vision for raising children for God. With no vision for hospitality and so little to rule over, they are unfulfilled and have to find their place of dominion somewhere else. Unfortunately, they move out of the sphere where God wants them to govern. They come out from their husband’s protection and become vulnerable to other men instead of their own husband. The result is an epidemic of divorce and breakdown of marriage, even in the Christian world.  

Let’s find fulfillment in the great opportunity God has given to us in our home.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:

“Oh God, I thank you for your divine plans for my life. Thank you for giving me the privilege of my home where I can live and work for you, nurturing and training your children and making it a safe and sacred place for my husband.  I thank you, Lord, that in my home I can find my greatest fulfillment. Save me from walking out on this great task you have given to me. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION: 

 

P.S. Here are some other Scriptures that mention the “mistress” of the home: Genesis 16:8-9; 2 Kings 5:3; Psalm 123:2; Isaiah 24:2.

Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.”

Today we look at the last of the 5 Ms regarding graciousness in a woman. The most revealing of all is…

5) Our Mouth

This is where we make it or break it, keep it or lose it! Every time we open our mouth we reveal our graciousness or we downgrade the dignity of womanhood. There is nothing more unattractive than observing a mother shouting at her children in a supermarket. There is nothing more hideous than seeing a wife stand up to her husband.

It was recorded of Jesus, “All bare him witness and wondered at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth.” (Luke 4:22) They marveled, because they were not used to such words. The Greek word for ‘gracious’, which is used here, is ‘charis’.  It pictures God’s salvation for us. It speaks of a favor done without expectation of return. It portrays God’s loving-kindness to sinners. What is His motive? It is His freehearted love to us who do not deserve it.

When Jesus returned to His Father, He sent the Holy Spirit to indwell us, so that His life could be revealed in us on earth. When we are born again, Jesus Christ comes to live in us by His Spirit and He wants to continue to speak His gracious words through us. We speak these words even when the listener doesn’t deserve them. Has your husband been nasty to you? Shouted at you? Instead of shouting back, answer with soft and tender words. Did you know that a soft tongue can break the bone? The Bible tells us this in Proverbs 25:15. Do you feel your husband’s heart is like granite? Keep speaking soft words. They have the power to break the hardest stone. Harsh angry words will not bring your honor, but gracious words will.

Are the children driving you crazy? Respond with firm but loving words. Has someone been hurtful to you? Retaliate with kind words. Give them words of blessing, not because they deserve it, but because the grace of God fills your heart and pours from your lips.

Ephesians 4:29 commands us that all our words should “impart grace to those who hear.” And we are reminded again in Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech always be gracious.” That word ‘always’ means not only in public when we try to make a good impression but also inside the walls of our home.

The testimony of the Above Rubies woman is that “She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” (Proverbs 31:26) This is truly our greatest mark of graciousness. When we open our mouth, we retain or lose our honor.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:

“Oh God, please touch my lips with fire from off your altar. Cleanse my lips. Help me to open my mouth with graciousness, especially towards my husband and my children. Oh please save me from the habit of speaking harsh and critical words. Fill me with your Holy Spirit and touch my lips that it will be come a habit to speak kind and gracious words, in my home and to all I meet. Thank you, Lord. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION: 

The music that can deepest reach,

And cure all ill, is cordial speech.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

1 Peter 3: 3-4, “Do not let your beauty be that outward adorning of arranging the hair, of wearing gold, or of putting on fine apparel; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.”

We continue to look at the Ms that reveal our graciousness as women.

4) Our Marriage

It is in within our marriage where we expose whether we are truly gracious. It is no use acting piously at church or at the supermarket if you are yelling at your husband at home. There are many women who think it is degrading to submit to a man. They would rather jump up and down and demand their own way, do their own thing, and be free from any protective authority. But this kind of behavior is childish. Three-year-olds love to demand their own way. It is a mature woman who submits with meekness.  It is God’s plan for his female creation and everything that God plans is for our good. It is for our blessing. It is for our protection. It does not take away our rank or respect, but instead brings us blessing and honor.

I asked husbands to tell me what they honored in their wives. Here are some of their answers, which were reiterated by many:

·        I honor her because I can count on her. I can trust her.

·        I love her devotion to God and to the family.

·        I love the way she thinks about the needs of our family and of others before herself.

·        I honor her for her submissive spirit to me, which I don’t demand of her, but which she willingly gives to me. 

·        When she acknowledges me as the head of our home, rather than making the decisions herself, I give more respect and honor to her.

·        I honor her when I see her seeking after God to be a virtuous woman.

·        I honor her as the keeper of our home.

·        I honor her as she bears our children and ministers to the family and the needs of others.

·        I respect my wife for completing me. She “catches my slack.” She is a wonderful nurturer and tends our nest. I have to work and provide but coming home is what I really look forward to.

·        I respect her softness and tenderness. She softens me and at the same time lets me be a tough guy.

·        She lets me lead.

·        She forgives me even when I do the same dumb things over, and over and over and over again. 

The husband of the virtuous woman rises up and praises his wife with these words: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” (Proverbs 31:29) What greater honor could a woman receive? It is more blessed to receive honor from an appreciative husband than from all the organizations in the world. 

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:

“Oh God, help me to realize that I do not gain respect when I rant and rave and demand my own way. Instead, I downgrade the honor you have given to me as a woman. Oh, Lord, please give me grace to walk in the godly spirit of submission. I thank you, Lord Jesus, that you have this attitude. You showed me the way when you submitted, in the face of agony and death, to the Father’s will. This submission was not defeat, but victory. Thank you, Lord Jesus. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

Proverbs 31:25, “Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.”
 

We continue this week to look at the attributes that reveal our womanly graciousness.

2) Our Maternity

We walk in graciousness when we embrace our maternalness. Our greatest honor comes from being who God created us to be, and that is maternal. God has innately put a motherly instinct in women. It is the very core of our being. It is the heart of womanhood. When poets and songwriters seek to portray tenderness, they speak of motherhood. The Bible uses the same Hebrew word for a woman’s womb as it does to describe God’s tenderhearted compassion.

We are all familiar with the Titanic disaster. Whom did they seek to save first in this terrible disaster? It was the women and children. They did not need a conference to decide this matter. It was their first thought. It is instinctive within men to save women and children first. Women are the life-givers of the world and children are the future generation and are, therefore, to be preserved. 

We were created to mother, to nurture, to reach out to the needy in love and compassion. When we lay aside our inherent maternity to pursue the man’s role of providing for the family, we actually lose honor. When we lay aside having children for the sake of career, we actually deny who we are. Society has tried to reverse this basic law, but it hasn’t worked. As women have left the home in droves, we have reaped an epidemic divorce rate and the break down of the family.

It is true that there are some women who do not marry and many are not able to conceive children. Are they denied maternalness? No. This does not alter their innate maternity and they will find their greatest honor in pouring out their compassionate hearts to the lonely, the needy and those whom God lays upon their hearts.  I think of some of the women who have influenced the world for God – Susanna Wesley, Sarah Edwards, Catherine Booth, Mary Slessor, Gladys Aylward, Corrie Ten Boom, and Mother Theresa. The list goes on. Some of these women were great mothers, others never married, but they all poured out their lives to the needy and ministered out of their motherly instinct. And, in turn, we honor them.

God commands all of us to “Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:3; Exodus 20:12) This honor is to be given, not only because one is a good or a diligent mother, but because of the state of motherhood itself. God honors the state of motherhood and fatherhood. It is the first and highest task that God has given to men and women. Every other career serves this foremost commission that God has mandated to us.

3) Our Manner

We reveal graciousness through our manner – the way we walk, the way we dress, the way we smile, the way we talk to our husband and children, the way we welcome people to our home and the way we react when things don’t go our way. I love the way Milton describes Eve in Paradise Lost…

“Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye,

In every gesture dignity and love.”

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:

“Oh God, please help me to live the way you planned. Please help me to be gracious with my husband and with my children. Help me to show graciousness, tenderness and gentleness in every situation I face in life. I thank you that I can do it in your strength. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION: