WHEN SHOULD OUR CHILDREN MARRY?

I notice another phrase in the Malachi 2:14-16 passage about marriage. This Scripture talks about the “wife of thy youth.” That’s a rather interesting phrase, especially in the light of society today.

The word youth is “na’uwr” and means “the state of juvenility, youthfulness.” That means they could have been married in their mid to late teens. That’s certainly a different concept than the average age for marriage in the United States which is nearly 30 years for men and nearly 28 years for women.

Although many couples may not meet the right one until they are older, there are some who meet when they are younger. I don’t think that should disqualify them from getting married if the parents believe that the one they have chosen is a godly young man or woman. The young man should have a good work ethic and be able to provide for his wife. The young couple should be ready for the responsibility of parenthood for that is part of being prepared for marriage.

I know many young couples who have married at 18 years of age. They have beautiful marriages. The young men are mature, providing well, and they are beginning their families with love and joy.

This maturity often depends on the way they were raised. Too many young people today are not raised for maturity. They are in a prolonged state of juvenility. When our children turn 13, we should be encouraging them and programming them into adulthood—to take responsibility, to work hard, and to prepare for marriage and parenthood. This training is even more important than the rest of their education.

Instead, many young people expect everything to be done for them. They have not been trained to work hard or to work for what they want. I don’t believe young people should be given everything they want. I believe that even while they are at home, they should seek extra jobs to earn money to pay for the extra things they need. This teaches them responsibility. Psalm 144:12 talks about our sons “grown up in their youth.”

This phrase in Malachi is not an isolated phrase.

Isaiah 54:4, 6 also speaks of the “wife of thy youth.”

Proverbs 2:17 speaks of the “husband of thy youth.”

Psalm 127:4 talks of the “children of the youth.” They not only married young but had their children young. Many young people waste the energetic and glorious years of their twenties, filling their lives with selfish pursuits that will be left behind, when their twenties are the greatest time to have their children.

I believe it is another ploy of the enemy to stop the “godly seed” coming into the world. Often it is more difficult to conceive with they marry later, and they miss the blessings of children God longs to give to them. We could even use a stronger word. They are often stolen from them by the enemy who deceives them into thinking that other things are more important than the eternal work of having children. And then sometimes it’s too late.

Before David went out to kill Goliath Saul called him a “youth” (1 Samuel 17:33). Most commentators say that David would have only been about 17 years when he killed Goliath. King Saul promised he would give his daughter to the man who killed Goliath so he must have married soon after.

King Solomon would have been no more than 20 years when he began to reign and began to make his kingdom the richest in the world at that time. Josephus puts his age at 14 years.

King Josiah became a king at eight years of age and was guided by the priest. However, when he was only 16 years of age “while he was yet young, he began to seek after the God of David his father” (2 Chronicles 34:3).

And did you know that the disciples were most probably all in their teenage years when Jesus called them? Peter would have been the oldest at 20 years and he was already married.

Let’s not settle for allowing our children to waste their adolescent teen years, but let’s prepare them for maturity and even for marriage if that should be God’s will for them.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

Picture: Bowen and Kahoru Barrett. Bowen was 18 years when he married. They have a beautiful marriage and God has blessed them with a darling baby boy, Finn. And Bowen is a great provider.