Above Rubies Daily Encouragement Blogs
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PLEASE GIVE ME TWINS!
Last week I posted some testimonies about twins. When I posted Mary’s story, “Birthing Twins in a Stranger’s Home, my dear friend, Sherri Leiter mentioned on the thread that I should post Nancy Webster’s story. So, I contacted Nancy and she has shared her story for us all. I know you will enjoy her story too.
“Oh God! If you think I can handle them, please give me twins this time,” I prayed. Both my grade school and high school best friends were sets of twins, and both versions of The Parent Trap movie were my favorites. Our older four children were 8, 6, 4, and 2 years old. I’d been mentored by Nancy Campbell and so knew well that children are a gift from the Lord.
Because I was getting kicked in four corners at once, at about four months along I asked my midwife to check for twins, especially remembering my prayer. But no, sadly, with 1000+ births experienced, she said I was just carrying one baby. She could not hear a second fetal heartbeat.
I was so busy during the pregnancy I guess I didn’t realize how huge my belly was getting to be until after New Year’s Day, when my friend, due with her Baby #4 a couple of weeks after I was, went belly-to-belly with me for what’s now one of my most treasured photos.
My due date was February 3rd, 1996. The second week of January, when I waddled into the midwife’s office for a check-up, an assistant of hers who hadn’t seen me in a while whistled in awe at my size. A few days later, an ultrasound revealed a tangle of four legs and four arms—
definitely twins! I was beyond elated! But I also was chicken to have the babies at home which we’d planned when we thought there was just one baby. So we arranged for the birth to happen in the hospital (an hour from our home) with the midwife’s back-up doctor.
About 1 a.m. on January 26, one week before the due date, my water broke, the only time my water ever broke on its own with my (eventually) eight babies. About 7 a.m., it was time to deliver children to their arranged caretakers, but when we went to get into our mini van, we found the battery dead! Someone had left a door open! Bad timing! We crammed into my husband’s very old, very bouncy, stick-shift Ford Bronco with me now experiencing regular contractions. It’s a wonder I didn’t get to have what I think would be an even more exciting birth along the interstate. The bouncing and long drive were challenging.
We walked into the hospital about 9:00 a.m. Twin A, our Rachel, was born vaginally at 10:00, weighing 7 lbs. 6 oz. As soon as the doctor and nurses ascertained she was fine, they attacked my belly, at least it felt that way. The reason Twin B, our Grace, was never detected nor suspected is because she had been lying transverse underneath Rachel and now was STILL lying transverse. The doctor finally managed to turn Grace into a breech position and, because I was still open from just having birthed Rachel, just reached in and pulled Grace out with her feet. That was at 10:15 a.m. Grace weighed 8 lbs. 5 oz! No wonder my tummy was so huge!
I was on Cloud Nine! Two babies for the work of one pregnancy! The answer to my prayers! We only stayed at the hospital for six hours. Grace had trouble keeping up her body temperature so Greg, my husband, did skin-to-skin contact with her. Rachel looked like her siblings. Grace looked like an old man with his false teeth out and was extremely floppy, but I didn’t care.
During my pregnancy with the twins, a doctor friend had loaned us a detailed medical book, which included photos of all the atypical syndromes and birth deformities that happen sometimes. We hid it under our bed so no child would see it and be scared. I love anything medical-related, especially if alternative, so I learned much from the book.
Unbeknownst to me, probably while I was struggling to help Grace nurse due to her tongue thrust, Greg referenced the book. And then he worried secretly all the way from the Friday they were born until the Monday we visited the pediatrician for a check-up. (That was back when we weren’t as alternative as we are now). I have a video of that check-up. While I didn’t realize it at the time, while the doctor was checking Rachel on the exam table, she kept looking sideways at Grace, also lying on the table.
The doctor said she was going to get her partner so he could see the twins. Greg joined her while I stayed in the office, attempting to nurse one or the other baby. When they came back into the room, Greg had tears in his eyes. The doctor, a mom to four herself, said very gently, “I have some concerns about Grace.”
“I think Grace may have Down syndrome,” she stated. Shocked, I clutched Grace to my chest, immediately exclaiming, “I’m so glad she was inside me and not someone who would have cut her out!” * A blood test confirmed Trisomy 21 a few days later.
Amazingly, had the midwife recommended an ultrasound much earlier in the pregnancy, the doctor would have observed the Down’s-typical shorter femur length in Grace’s body. While thankfully she did not come with heart issues (many babies with Down syndrome do) as that, too, would have shown up in an earlier ultrasound. I’m so glad I did not know. It helped me to enjoy the pregnancy, worry-free. Plus, I love surprises!
I admit the idea of Grace having Down’s took some getting used to. I cried alone in the shower. When I called to share the news with my belly-to-belly photo friend (still one of my besties), her response was “So what?” She wanted to affirm that my baby with Down’s was (and is) a very special creation from God which I appreciated.
But now that my girls are 30 years old, I know and have told her that having a baby with special needs is not just a “so what.” It’s hard. And while the hard may morph over the years, it never completely goes away. But I know without a doubt that the challenge provides ample opportunity to die to myself and lean on the Lord. ALL children do that, but a special needs child gives bonus opportunities. But God always comes through.
Early on, I struggled with sinful pride, especially when we’d go out with the twin stroller. Everyone loves to look at twins. They’d come over, peer at the babies (who obviously did not look a bit alike). Plus Grace did not look like a typical baby and they’d ask if they were identical. Embarrassed, I wound up giving a brief elevator speech about how “twin” means “two,” not identical.
But since then, for YEARS, my saying is that Grace “came with a helper.” Actually, she came into a family with many helpers. The PT, OT, and speech therapists gave me homework every week, but I was so crazily busy. Overwhelmed! I couldn’t do it. Yet the therapists always exclaimed about Grace’s great progress. That progress came from brothers rolling her back and forth in blankets, sisters shaking toys in her face before she was able to get them on her own, and more. The best therapists for children with special needs are siblings!
My eight children now range from 40 down to 24 years old, five of them married, including Rachel. So far, they've given me 10 grandchildren. Just Grace and my 28 year-old daughter who is on the autism spectrum live with me now. God knew I’d need their company. My dear husband, Greg died from cancer 2.5 years ago. While I miss him terribly, I am never lonely. The tendency to have fraternal twins is genetic, so I’m very hopeful at least one of my children will be blessed with their own set of twins some day.
NANCY WEBSTER
Lynnville, Tennessee, USA
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POSTSCRIPT: In later years, our children gave pro-life speeches about parents who tragically abort the “imperfect” twin. Sometimes the abortionist takes the “wrong” baby, so then they do a repeat to take the baby with Down’s too. Those parents have no clue what joys and personal growth they have missed out on.
Pictures:
Nancy (on the right) with well over 15 lbs. of babies!
The twins at 30 years of age.
