LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 368: LIVING THE BLISSFUL LIFE, No. 2
A LIFE OF CONTINUED THANFULNESS

How can you live a life of overflowing thankfulness when you have so many things to concentrate on each day? The Bible gives us the answer.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, lovely ladies! It’s just so good to be with you today. We’ve had a little bit of a delay in our recording, so I got a little bit behind for a week or so. That’s the first time I’ve ever done this, but anyway, we’re all back on again. So, here we are, looking forward to sharing this podcast with you.

Our last podcast I did with our daughter Pearl—Pearlie, of Trim Healthy Mama. We did a podcast called “How Do You Smile When You Don’t Feel Like Smiling?” Well, if you didn’t hear that podcast, do go back and listen to it, because it was so good. We were talking about having a thankful attitude, and an “attitude of gratitude.” Now, I’m going to continue this today. It’s really part of a series that I’m starting called “Living the Blissful Life.”

Well, everybody wants to live a blissful life, don’t they? But life is not always blissful. Circumstances are not always blissful. We have challenges. We have difficulties. We have things that we have to face. So, how can we live this blissful life in the midst of difficulties and challenges? Well, I’m going to give you quite a lot of points as we go along. But we’re continuing to talk about this point we started last week about thankfulness.

But before I go on with it, I have a couple of things to share with you. I wanted to remind you that we have another Above Rubies Family Camp coming up. This time, it's in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. It will be next month, August 22^nd to the 25^th. It’s going to be in a mountain village in the Smoky Mountains, near Gatlinburg.

The people who are running this retreat, Connie and Les Lanford, have been doing Above Rubies retreats for us for so many years. Oh, I think about 20 years! First of all, we used to do them down in Louisiana. Then they were doing some for us in Mississippi. This time, they planned one in Gatlinburg.

I’m looking forward to that, because I haven’t been to the Smokey Mountains myself for so long. It’s going to be wonderful to get up in that beautiful place. But not only in a beautiful place, but a place where we can have great fellowship together. We can encourage you in your wonderful, wonderful vision of parenting. So, make a note of that. The phone number for the Lanford’s is 225-335-3959. You can call them, or you can look up the webpage and get the information and contact them. OK, put it on your calendar!

The other thing I wanted to tell you is that I’m now starting to prepare the new issue of Above Rubies, # 103. I’m looking forward to doing that. I always love it when I can get out another issue of Above Rubies. I don’t have all the money yet, because it costs over $80,000 to print and send out a magazine. But I feel it’s time to start. As I start in faith, I believe God will bring that in.

I’m sharing that with you because I always have lots of material on hand to print, but I always love fresh stories and fresh testimonies. So, if you have something you would love to share, you are welcome to write in. Email it to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

This time, I would love to have some articles about practical homemaking. I’m sure many of you have found some wonderful secrets of managing your home. If you've got something wonderful to share that’s revolutionized your homemaking, do feel free to write and share with me so I can then share it with all the mothers of the world.

If you have a marriage restoration testimony, oh, that would be wonderful. Or even pointers of how God has helped you in your marriage. It’s so important to keep reminding one another of how to make a beautiful marriage. I do believe, with all my heart, that we make our marriages what we want them to be. You can have a boring marriage if you want to be boring. You can have a glorious marriage if you really want to and you put the work into it.

Anyway, many of you, I’m sure, have also found wonderful secrets along the way. I’d love you to share them, too. I will look forward to hearing from you, all across the world. You don’t have to be in the USA. Above Rubies is for the mothers and wives of the world. You can write to me from any country that you are listening to me, where you are listening now. It won’t take long to get it to me because you can email it straightaway. I’ll look forward to hearing from you.

LIVING A THANKFUL l LIFE

Now, back to our subject, “Living the Blissful Life.” Our first point, which we started last podcast, is LIVING A THANKFUL LIFE. Of course, we talked a lot about smiling in the last podcast, because that’s part of thankfulness. When you are a thankful person, you’re always smiling. When you get into the habit of smiling, you become more thankful.

Let’s get into the Word, shall we? Psalm 50:14 and 23 say, in the New Living Translation: “Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God. And keep the vows you made to the Most High. Giving of thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors Me.” In these Scriptures, thankfulness is associated with sacrifice. That’s the Old Testament.

But let’s go over to the New Testament. In Hebrews 13:15, we read the same thing: “By Him, therefore, let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His Name.” Now, ladies, that Scripture is in the New Testament, but if you understand it, it’s actually going back to the Old Testament. Going back to the type, because it says here: “The sacrifice of praise.”

THE CONTINUAL SACRIFICE

Back in the Old Testament, what was their sacrifice? Every morning and every evening they sacrificed a lamb upon the altar, upon the brazen altar, which was in the outer court of the tabernacle, and then later when it became the temple. That was their sacrifice. They had many other sacrifices too, but this was the basic sacrifice, the morning and evening sacrifice. It was called “THE CONTINUAL SACRIFICE.”

We read this over and over again in the Old Testament. The Hebrew word is tamiyd, and this is what is means: “continuously, perpetually, continually, constant, daily; elliptically for the regular daily sacrifice.” The regular daily sacrifice was the sacrifice they did morning and evening. As I said, it was called the “continual daily sacrifice.” You see that right there in Hebrews in the New Testament.

It’s amazing, ladies. Some people think, “Oh, well, I just like to read the New Testament. The Old Testament doesn’t relate to me.” But the Old Testament contains the foundation. It contains the type. It contains the principle of everything we read in the New Testament.

When we read the New Testament, we have greater understanding to understand the Old Testament. We can’t have one without the other. They both fit together. That is why it’s so important to not only read the New Testament, which of course we love to do, but to feed upon the Old, so that we have our grounding, our foundation, and we know what it’s really talking about.

Because here, this is what Hebrew 13:15 is talking about. It says: “The sacrifice of praise to God continually.” So now, of course, ladies, we don’t do an animal sacrifice of a lamb on an altar. We don’t do that today. Of course we don’t, because every lamb that is sacrificed upon the altar was only a type. It was pointing to Jesus, “the Lamb slain before the foundation of the world.” It pointed to His final, one-time sacrifice upon the altar, when Jesus died once and for all.

So, there is no need for any more sacrifices again. And yet, here we read in the New Testament that God still wants a sacrifice of praise. Not an animal sacrifice but now it’s a different one. It’s a sacrifice of praise. And how often does He want us to do it? Continually. It should become part of our lives.

But let’s be real. OK, we can have a heart that is continually thankful to the Lord and to those around us. But we can’t actually physically be thanking every moment, because we’ve got things to do and people to talk to about this and that. So, the continual sacrifice God is talking about here is that principle of the morning and evening.

Then again, other people will say, “Well, I don’t have to have set times when I thank and praise the Lord because I do it when my heart is overflowing and when I feel like doing it. It should be spontaneous from my heart.” Well, I do believe you've got a point there. I do believe that we should have spontaneous praise coming forth from our mouths at any time of the day.

We should also have spontaneous thankfulness coming out of our mouths to the people who are around us. Firstly, those in our home—our husband and our children. We should spontaneously thank them when they do something for us when we want to bless them and praise them.

OVERFLOWING THANKFULNESS

But here, once again, God knows that we’re not always overflowing in thankfulness, although that’s what He actually wants us to be. That’s really the greatest lifestyle we can live, a life that’s overflowing with thankfulness. Maybe I could give you a Scripture about that now, before we move on. We go to Colossians 2:7.

At the end of verse seven, Paul is praying that we will be “Abounding with thanksgiving.” A lot of newer translations say: “Overflowing with thanksgiving.” The meaning is that it’s more than the normal. The Greek word is perisseuo. This is what it means: “to exceed, over and above, overflowing, abundantly, to superabound, in excess, nothing to spare.” All those meanings mean that it’s more than the average. It’s more than normal. It’s not just “Well, thank you” every now and then. No, it’s overflowing.

I remember years and years ago, when I was reading that Scripture one morning in my quiet time, and it was in the days when I had my children around me. I thought to myself, “Well, how can I abound? How can I be overflowing with thanksgiving? I mean, I get taken up in the day with everything I have to do. What can I do?”

And I was talking to the Lord about it and this idea came to me. I thought of our kitchen timer. Well, we don’t use those much today because we have all our digital timers and our iPhones. But back then, I used to use a kitchen timer. I love a good old kitchen timer. I thought, “Wow! I know what I can do! I can turn that kitchen timer on for every hour. At the end of that hour, when it goes Ding! I can remember, Oh, it’s time to praise the Lord!” And so, I’m reminded, because we do need reminders.

That’s my wonderful idea. You can do that in your home, lovely mothers, because I know that many times you just get overwhelmed with everything you have to do, and everything that’s happening. All the little children around you and big children. Everybody wants Mom all at once. How do you remember to be overflowing with thankfulness in all of that? But if you've got your timer on, Ding! Oh, you stop to say, “Thank You, Lord.”

Well, maybe you're in the midst of just about screaming at the children about something. Oh, goodness me! Instead of screaming, you say, “Oh, thank You, Lord! Thank You that You are with me. You are with me in the midst of all that’s going on. I thank You.” And include your children. “Children! It’s the timer! It’s time to thank the Lord! Come, come!” And all get together and thank Jesus. Get each one of your children just to say, “Thank You, Jesus,” for something.

Just imagine how that can change the whole attitude of your home as we get into this overflowing and abounding attitude of thanksgiving. But, as I was saying, if you're not using your timer, you're most probably forgetting. The day goes by, and you think, “Wow, did I really? How much did I thank the Lord today? How much did I even thank anybody in the home today?”

MORNING AND EVENING PRINCIPLE

But God understands us. He understands our lives. And that’s why, back in the foundational Old Testament that gave us the foundation, it gave us the grounding, and it gave us the principles. It gave us the types. God established the principle of the morning and evening. That morning and evening was called the continual sacrifice. So, even if you're not doing it all day, and you're not overflowing all day, at least you're going to keep to those set times of the morning and the evening.

GOD ESTABLISHED SET TIMES FOR US

I am a great believer in set times. Why am a believer in set times? Because God established set times for us. Yes, God established them for us. He knows our frame. He knows our circumstances. He knows that we need these set times. And He established the morning and the evening.

Actually, as we read on in the Word of God, we see that He also established the weekly time to be with Him. He established the Sabbath day, and then he established the monthly time. We don’t celebrate that today, but back in Bible times, God’s people celebrated the New Moon. It was also a day they put aside to worship God, and to sacrifice, and to listen to God for what He had to say to them for this next month. Then He established the feasts of the yearly sacrifices. God established these things because God knows that they are important for us.

I was just thinking about this, and I thought of a question that I never asked myself. In all my years of living, I can’t believe that I never asked myself this question. I thought, “Wow! Did they do that daily morning and evening sacrifice on the Sabbath day?” Now, on the Sabbath day, they were to do no work. It was their day of rest. So, did they? Did they sacrifice on the Sabbath day?

Well, I had to check it out. And yes, I found that yes, they did sacrifice on the Sabbath day. They were never, ever, ever to forgo that daily sacrifice. Let me read one of these Scriptures for you. I’m actually going to give you here, ladies, because this point number one is LIVING A THANKFUL LIFE, and now we’re finding that this thankfulness goes back to the sacrifice of praise, which goes back to the continual daily sacrifice. I found 15 different points about the things God wants us to do continually. So, we’re going to look at them. We’ll see how far we go today.

But this first one . . .

No. 1. CONTINUAL DAILY SACRIFICE

Exodus 29:38: “Now this is that which thou shalt offer upon the altar; two lambs of the first year” (that means they were to be one year old) day by day continually.” And so, they were never, ever to stop, even for one day. I thought, “Wow! Well, what happens on the Sabbath?”

Guess what, ladies? I just learned this. I can’t believe that, once again, I didn’t even notice. But I found that on the Sabbath day, not only were they to continue that continual daily sacrifice, but God gave them extra sacrifices. They had to, on the Sabbath, they had to sacrifice two lambs in the morning and two lambs in the evening. So, it was extra. Wow, isn’t that amazing? How come it took me so long to find that out?

But what I realized from that, because these sacrifices in the New Testament are a sacrifice and praise and thanksgiving unto the Lord, when we come to the Sabbath, we not only continue that which we are doing throughout the week but we have to add to it. We give more unto God on the Sabbath than even the other days.

So, whether we worship God on Sunday or Saturday, the Sabbath (some of God’s people worship Sunday, and some worship Saturday). Whatever day that you keep a Sabbath to the Lord, the type is that we should give the Lord extra on that day. I have said before that I notice that Sabbath keepers on the Saturday usually treat this day more like God wants us to treat it than Sunday Sabbath keepers.

There are many Sunday worshippers who like to keep Sunday as a Sabbath. Well, they used to. I remember when I grew up, we worshipped the Lord on Sunday, but we kept it like a Sabbath. We didn’t go out to entertainment. We didn’t do all the secular things and entertainment things that everybody does today.

It seems that many Christians today go to church on Sunday morning, and they get out of church. “Wow! OK! What are we going to do now? Let’s go for a picnic! Let’s go out and do something! Let’s come home and watch football.” And OK, they went to church. But they’ve forgotten God for the rest of the day. No, a Sabbath, whether it’s Saturday (which is the literal Sabbath), but even if you're taking Sunday, make it a Sabbath. It’s unto God, and the type is that we give more to God, extra to God, on that Sabbath day.

Well, I found out even more. I found that when it came to the New Moon, if the New Moon (that was the beginning of the month), if it happened to come on the Sabbath, then they could never, ever forgo the original continual daily sacrifice. That was the one lamb, morning and evening. They had to do that. Then they would have to do the Sabbath sacrifice, so that was two lambs, morning and evening.

But then, they would have to do the New Moon sacrifices which were even more. They had to sacrifice two young bullocks, one ram, seven lambs, and one baby goat: “Besides the continual burnt offering.” That’s in Numbers 28:15. Then it goes on.

In fact, in the next chapter, Numbers 29, you can check it out for yourself sometime. But it goes on to talk about all the other sacrifices on the different set times that God gave. Ten times in that one chapter it says these words: “Besides the continual burnt offering.”

The New English Translation says: “In addition to the continual burnt offering.”

They were never to forgo that daily morning and evening sacrifice. If other sacrifices happened to be on that day, or the Sabbath day, or whatever, they had to do that first, and then the other sacrifices besides the continual burnt offering. You will see that in Numbers 29. Here’s the verse about the Sabbath day. I’ll give you that Scripture.

That is in Number 28:9: “On the Sabbath day, two lambs of the first year, without spot. This is the burnt offering of every sabbath, beside the continual burnt offering,” or in addition to the continual burnt offering.

Isn’t that amazing, ladies, that the continual burnt offering is so important to God? Of course, it was because it pointed to Jesus, the Lamb of God. It pointed to Calvary. But God was also establishing this principle, this continual principle, so that we never waver away from God, not even for a day. God doesn’t want us to get away from Him in our thoughts, and in our hearts, even for a day.

So, He established that every morning and every evening we would come into His Presence. That’s why we have our family devotions every morning and every evening. Some people say, “Help! How do you fit that in with every day? Life’s too busy! We’ve just got too much going on!” Well, lovely ladies, you’d better cut out a lot of what you're doing, because these are the two most important things.

And that’s what I’ve found, in my experience, is that I have to make them happen. Everything else has to fit around them. I could have one hundred excuses every day not to do it. But we make it happen. It doesn’t matter what is happening. I will not forgo one thing, because I will have that, because it’s a principle established by God. He doesn’t want us to let it go, ever. And even when there are other sacrifices of the feasts, or even of the Sabbath and the New Moon, we still can’t forgo that one. We add to them.

Now you notice that for these sacrifices, the lamb had to be one year old. And it had to be without spot, and without blemish. They had to bring the lambs in, and they had to check them for four days before they could go to the altar, to make sure that there was nothing wrong with them at all. Of course, that was speaking of Christ, who was sinless, who was spotless.

We remember that Jesus fulfilled that type as He came into Jerusalem on that donkey. They were laying the palm branches in front of Him and crying out: “Hosannah! Blessed is He who cometh in the Name of the Lord!” And yet, it was four days later they crucified Him. Pilate said these words to fulfill that prophecy: “I find no fault in Him.”

And so, even when we come with our praise, and our worship, and our thanksgiving, may we come without spot and without wrinkle. Oh, I think we often do have so many spots and wrinkles, don’t we?

And that’s why we have to continually thank God for the blood of Jesus, the blood of Jesus Christ which cleanseth us from all sins. Oh, how we have to continually plunge ourselves in that blood! Oh yes, we can be saved through the blood of Jesus, but I think we don’t live perfect lives. When the Holy Spirit speaks to us about something, well then, we come, and we just plunge again into that precious blood again.

All right, lovely ladies. Number one is a continual burnt offering.

No. 2. CONTINUAL FIRE UPON THE ALTAR

The Bible talks about a continual fire upon the altar, the altar where they did the burnt offerings. The Bible says because God said it. It’s written in the Bible that God came to Moses and said, in Leviticus 6:8-13, you can read it later.

It’s all about the fire upon the altar. God said: “This fire shall ever be burning upon the altar. It shall never go out.” And the word, “the fire shall ever be burning,” that’s tamiyd again, meaning “the continual.”

The New English Translation says: “A continual fire must be kept burning on the altar. It must not be extinguished.”

God showed them how to keep the fire going. Once again, they had to tend to it every morning and every evening, and take out all the ashes, and put on more wood. I think that speaks to us of putting the wood on the fire, putting the Word into our lives to strengthen us again, and keep that fire burning in our lives. The only way we can keep the fire burning continually is to have that morning and evening principle. So, we see that again there in Leviticus chapter six. It was never to go out.

Now, I see our time has already come to an end. But ladies, we will continue next week, to find out more of the things that God revealed in His Word that He wants us to do continually. We’re going to find them out from the Old Testament but remember Hebrews 13:15 is New Testament. It’s taking us right back to the Old Testament to understand what this writer to the Hebrews is saying, that we are to now give unto God a sacrifice of praise continually.

May the Lord bless you.

“I pray, dear Father, that You will bless, bless every home. Oh, God, bless every wife and mother. Bless every husband. Bless all the children who are listening to this podcast. I pray that You will pour out Your Spirit all over them, and that You will give them Your peace, and You will bring peace into their homes.

“I pray, Lord God, that You will bless them abundantly, and You will give them, Lord, a vision of understanding, and how You have set times for us, and how You wait for us every morning, and You wait for us every evening at the close of the day, for us to come into Your Presence and meet with You. Lord, this is the desire of Your heart because You love us. We thank You, Lord God, and we praise You. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

MAKE SURE OTHER WIVES AND MOTHRS ARE ENCOURAGED TOO.

 

AUGUST 22 – 25, TENNESSEE

FAMILY RETREAT IN EAST TENNESSEE

Wafloy Mountain Village Christian Retreat Center

3610 East Parkway, Gatlinburg TN 37738

For all enquiries contact:

Les and Connie Lanford * 225 953 1970 * 225 335 3959

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. * lanfordlegacy.com/family-camp

For info on cabins, meals * 865 436 5575

 

 

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 367: LIVING THE BLISSFUL LIFE, No. 1
HOW DO YOU SMILE WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE SMILING?

My daughter, Pearl Barrett (Trim Healthy Mama) talks with us today about the power of smiling, and the benefits to our health and longevity. Is it wrong to “fake it ‘til we make it”? How can we accomplish this in the midst of the challenges of life?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies. I’m so excited today, because I have my daughter, Pearl, with me, Pearlie-Werl. Pearl is now a grandmother. of course, but I still call her Pearlie-Werl. It’s so great to have you here, Pearl.

Actually, I have been wanting to do this podcast since Christmas time. Remember, we had our “Christmas Cup of Tea” with Kate. This is a special tradition that we have every year. My sister, Kate, puts on this most amazing “Christmas Cup of Tea.” She always has Pearl and Serene to sing and then lead us in carols.

Also, at every “Christmas Cup of Tea” there’s always sharing. At this last one, Pearl was sharing about smiling. It was so exciting. I’ve been wanting her to come and do this. Now, here we are in June, six months later! But life is so full and everything’s happening.

Pearl: But it’s good, Mom, because now I get to remind myself of it. Because halfway through the year, we all need reminders, right?

Nancy: We need reminding quite a lot of this subject, don’t we? But before we get onto the subject, I thought I would read you a couple of poems. I think they’ll make you smile, because we’re going to talk about smiling. These are some poems I wrote about Pearlie, Pearlie-Werl, when she was young. Now I’ve written lovely, nice poems about her. These really sort of expose her childhood. But I think you’ll think that’s so funny, and they’ll make you smile.

What have I got here? This one is called “Those Freckles.” Wow, did you know that Pearlie once had freckles? Well, let’s hear about them.

She was our little freckle face,

But wasn’t she so cute?

Those freckles were her special hate,

That we can’t refute!

 

Her teenage years were spent in buying

Anti-freckle creams,

Or making special potions,

Every concoction, by all means!

 

It was her nightmare day and night

To rid herself of spots,

Her thoughts and plans were taken up

To beat those freckle blots!

 

Although we lived in the Gold Coast sun

Right by the sea,

She would not even go to the beach,

Except late at night for tea.

 

She would not go outside the door

Without sunglasses and her hat,

She kept herself fully covered

In case one freckle might come back!

 

But now today all her freckles are gone,

Not one can you see!

No-one would believe that this was her face,

When she was only wee!

 

Love from Mother, Written 22^nd March 1994

Do you remember those days?

Pearl: [laughter] Yeah, I remember! Oh, so many things! I remember making lemon juice and oatmeal like paste and smearing it on my face. As soon as I’d wash it off, I’d smear it on again, because once wasn’t good enough. I had to try and bleach my face. I do have freckles still. They’re just light.

Nancy: But you can’t see them today! They have faded. [laughter]

Pearl: Actually, now I like freckles. But I hated them!

Nancy: Yes, well, here’s one more. And this is called “Peeping Pearl.”

Our Pearlie was an inquisitive little girl, 

All the family information she had to unfurl, 

Every tiny bit of gossip, every little bit of news, 

She could not miss on any, not one bit would she lose . . .

       Our prying,  

            Peeking,  

                 Peeping,  

                       Pearl! 

 

We’d walk out of the doorway and a shadow would disappear,  

What was that? Yes, it was our Pearlie in the rear,  

She’d been listening at the keyhole to try and catch each word,  

What secrets has she gained this time? Oh, what has she heard?  

       Our prying,  

            Peeking,  

                 Peeping,  

                       Pearl! 

 

The keyhole wasn’t the only place she did her spying work, 

The garage where the ‘shed boys’ slept was her special perk, 

She’d slip unseen underneath the bed, ready for when they’d wake, 

And talk about their escapades and the plans they were going to make . .  .  

    Our prying,  

            Peeking,  

                 Peeping,  

                       Pearl! 

 

She has even been known to crawl under their car,

To make sure she got the gossip from near and from far,

And listened while the guys talked about the youth,  

I think she should have been a priest, with a confession booth . . .

   Our prying,  

            Peeking,  

                 Peeping,  

                       Pearl! 

 

Love from Mother, Written May 1994 

 

Pearl: I’m not proud of that! [laughter] But I think it carried on my quest for information, it just kind of went in a different way as I got older. I became a researcher and that quenched that thirst for knowledge.

Nancy: Just maybe that was there all the time. You had to find out things.

Pearl: I did!

Nancy: Of course, you all know Pearl. Pearl and Serene of Trim Healthy Mama fame. I’m so blessed, and you are so blessed to have Pearl with us today. Now, Pearlie, I want you to start talking about this smiling, because not everybody feels like smiling all the time. But smiling actually has such a powerful effect upon our lives. What do you say?

Pearl: Yeah, we’re going to talk about that today, like research-wise, what I found out about, what does science say? Like, if you have to put on a smile when you don’t feel like it. But really, this is kind of personal for me, because that day that you talked about at Auntie Kate’s “Christmas Cup of Tea” I was thinking about the New Year coming.

AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

I thought, “What is my New Year’s Resolution? And I’m not a big resolution person. I’m just like, “Hey, I’m doing these things anyway. I don’t want to set a resolution and then fail.” But I had this really, it was like a strong passion in me to truly live in gratitude, which is different from being grateful.

Where I wanted to show that most, actually, was with my husband. I thought to myself, “If someone is grateful, I can think grateful thoughts.” And I had my gratitude list. I’d go to bed at night, I’m giving thanks to God, because He tells us to, not because He needs it, but because He knows it’s good for us, right, as our Creator.

But I thought, “What does a person do who lives truly in gratitude? What do they do?” Well, they smile, because you can’t be resentful and grateful at the same time. It’s impossible. You have to choose one or the other.

We live in human bodies with human thoughts . . .  I’m sure other women do, too, but I’ll just be honest. I can suddenly get a list of wrongs about my husband so quickly with my perspective. And he’s a great guy! But suddenly, it’s my lens. I can start listing the things I’m a little bit miffed about. I thought, “But if I’m truly grateful, I’m focusing on that, and I am sowing it.”

I thought, “What would happen?” And I had this example of someone living in my house at the same time. I could clearly see the difference between her and me. My husband and I have been married 31 years now. And we have a good marriage, but I think somehow, I was taking who he was for granted.

This young woman, Satorey is her name. She works at the Trim Healthy Café, and she’s kind of my daughter-in-law. Her sister came over from Japan. She’s half-Japanese and half Australian. (* I explain at the end). Well, I just noticed something about her. She’d work at our café, and I watched her serve the customers. As she talked, she smiled when she talked. When she would come home and I’d ask about her day, she would wear this smile.

Now she wasn’t constantly a happy person, but she had this fascinating thing about her, and I realized what it was. What it was, when she talked, her whole face lifted, and she kept this smile. I realized, “Oh my goodness! I want to be like Satorey! I’m going to try it out!”

And especially, honestly, there’s a little bit of vanity to it, too, because a smile is our greatest face-lift. As we get older, our faces drop, so I started studying about what a smile actually does. I started practicing this smiling thing when I was talking, like Mom. This is not on you, this is not visual, but maybe you can hear it. Mom, ask me how my day was.

Nancy: Now, how was your day today, Pearlie?

Pearl: I’m going to do it without a smile. Maybe how I would talk to my husband, like, he’d say, “Honey, how was your day?”

“Well, I had meetings, and I worked out. What else did I do? Oh yeah, I had to make all these foods. It was a busy day.”

Nancy: OK. Shall I ask you again?

Pearl: How did I look?

Nancy: Boring. [laughter]

Pearl: My face is not really present when it doesn’t smile, I realized. I don’t have a pleasant resting face. I analyzed myself in the mirror. So, ask me again.

Nancy: Now, Pearlie, what did you do today?

Pearl: “So, I had a lot of meetings. I had to make all these recipes. I worked out. It was a really busy day.”

Nancy: Wow! You looked, by look of your face, it was the most amazing day!

Pearl: Do you like me better?

Nancy: Oh, yes! I like you anyway! [laughter] It’s quite transforming. We really need . . .

Pearl: I know! But I ask everyone to stand in front of the mirror and try it. I started doing this when my husband asked me something. Well, just responding to him in any way, I realized I wasn’t smiling. This is like a joke or something. Unless we were talking about one of the grandchildren.

So, I started practicing this, and you know what I noticed? He started really smiling back at me and cracking jokes. He thought I was in this good, receptive, good mood, and his mood . . . He’s not like a big laughter guy or anything, but the whole atmosphere in our home started to be more light-hearted. I’m kind of glad I’m here six months in, because I want to remind myself of it, and share about some of the actual health benefits today.

Nancy: Yes, well, you know now, I think one of the most beautiful things in our marriage relationship is to smile at one another. I love sometimes just to look at my husband and just smile at him.

Pearl: You’ve always done that.

Nancy: But when I smile at him, and then he smiles back at me, and we just fall in love all the more together. It is amazing. Smiles are so powerful!

Pearl: I watched you do that throughout the years, Mom, and you've always had a powerful, magnetic smile. You’ve always smiled at us children. And I loved it, and I think that’s part of the reason I feel sound and whole as an adult. Part of that is your smile at me, growing up.

But for some reason, I didn’t really follow you in smiling at my husband, because I always looked at myself as a glass half-full person. I live in a family of optimists and I’m the realist. I used to have this identity of tanking out because it wasn’t put in me at all. But I realized all those years of being the realist had made me not a smiler so much.

YOU MAKE IT A HABIT

Nancy: Yes, because if you are a realist, life is not always worth smiling at. Life can be difficult. Life has challenges, so smiling has to go above your circumstances. Yes, it is true. I guess I just always loved to smile. It’s maybe my way of showing love by smiling. I love to smile at my husband, and I love to smile at my children, and, of course, now at my grandchildren. But, yes, I think the first time it’s not quite so natural, but you can make it into a habit.

Pearl: It’s a skill, like any other. Some people are born natural virtuosos. They can pick up a violin and play it. Most people have to learn, and practice, and practice, and practice. For many of us, those of us born not smiling, like maybe you had a natural talent at it, although you've cultivated that. Probably on the skill level, you were an eight already whereas I was a four.

But I have been working on this skill, and getting better and better at it, because the more we work . . . The good thing about skills is that you don’t have to be perfect. So, I haven’t been perfect, but I’ve been reminding myself, and practicing. The more you practice, actually those muscles in your cheeks get stronger. The good ones!

Nancy: Yes. And they make you look so beautiful!

Pearl: Yes, they do! It’s an instant face-lift. As we get older, we start sagging and all of that. You get the jowls, and, oh my goodness! [laughter] But you smile, and it all goes up! We look very attractive when we smile.

Nancy: Yes. Even a very plain person looks amazing when they smile. It transforms people, doesn’t it? Therefore, it transforms us, and it transforms those we are smiling at. In fact, you can be walking down the street, or even walking through an airport, and I guess, I don’t know, maybe sometimes I’m naturally smiling, but sometimes people will just smile at me! And I wonder why they’re smiling at me.

Pearl: It’s because it’s contagious.

Nancy: But when they do smile at me, it’s amazing! Maybe I look great, or maybe there’s something about me. Why are they smiling at me like this? It makes you feel good!

Pearl: I know. That’s so true, Mom. I remember Serene and I discussing this. We were at an airport with you. I think it was it was many years ago. We were going to an Above Rubies retreat or something. We were sitting there, people-watching. You know, that’s so fun.

Nancy: That’s my favorite thing at airports.

Pearl: We were watching all the women pass by. Some were so perfect, you know, an older woman. You could tell they’d done all the things. They were perfectly coiffed. Maybe they’d had a facelift. I don’t know. But you couldn’t pick out the flaw. But there was no smile, and it was sad. It wasn’t attractive.

Then we see our mother walk by, and your head was high, and Mom, you were smiling at the world! Like queen of smiles! We said to ourselves, “What a beautiful, royal woman!” You’ve never had work done; you’ve never done a thing to your face. The way you do make-up, Mom, it’s really funny. It’s funny. You go to watch my mom do make-up. She smacks it on. [laughter]

Nancy: In fact, I say to Colin, my husband, it is absolutely true. I can beat him to get ready. OK, we’re going somewhere. I say, “Darling, you’d better start now, because you take a bit longer than me.” I go into the bathroom, and I take two minutes max. I go “plink” on my nose for a bit of powder, and then it’s “bump, bump, bump, bump,” on my cheeks for a bit of highlight. And “whoop,” do my hair, and I’m done.

Pearl: I know! [laughter]

Nancy: I truly don’t know how to do make-up properly.

Pearl: Serene’s tried to show you so many times and given you make-up. But then you're like, “Ooh, I just don’t know how to do it.” But it’s OK, because your smile makes up for it, and more than makes up for it.

But I started researching, once I got into this “Smile, even if you don’t feel like it.” Like you said, Mom, life is not always easy. Many times, I don’t feel like smiling because there’s a lot of weighty things going on. I thought, “Well, hold on. If I am forcing a smile, is that bad for me? Or is it good for me?” And I always want to find out what the research is.

EVEN A FAKE SMILE WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY

Nancy: OK, what have you found?

Pearl: Wow! What about a fake smile? So, I looked into the research. I’m going to bring a lot of health benefits about a smile, but do they count? Are we going to receive the same health benefits if we’re smiling because we’re forcing ourselves to it?

Well, interestingly, evidence shows that the very act of smiling, even when we don’t feel like it, makes us feel happier. We become healthier and that’s linked to longer life. I want to bring that in. But smiling is so closely linked to the feeling of happiness in our brains that even a fake smile releases endorphins, and we’ll talk about those and all the brain chemicals. Even a fake smile triggers the vagus nerve.

Nancy: Yes, we did a podcast together about the vagus nerve. Actually, you could go back and research. Look up “vagus nerve.” I think we did two sessions on the vagus nerve. So interesting. *

Pearl: This nerve is like a ribbon that stems from your brain right down to the bottom of your spinal cord. My goodness, it’s like an anti-aging elixir in a bottle. It is a healing nerve. No, things turn it off and then turn it on. Many things turn it on—singing, laughing, dancing—smiling is the big one. Some are even a forced smile. But if you’re going to learn and practice like me, a forced smile sometimes, “fake it ‘til you make it,” right?

Now I find myself smiling more naturally. It’s becoming who I am, rather than who I want to be. You’ve got to get it in your eyes. Like Mom, you're a big smiler with your eyes, too. Even if you just do it with your mouth, research, and I’ll share it, has found that there are health benefits. But if you get your eyes involved, look at the difference. My eyes are smiling, but you can’t see it.

Nancy: Yes! Isn’t that amazing!

Pearl: Get your eyes involved, and that gives a more powerful brain . . .

Nancy: But I have such a problem, because I am the worst person for photography. People say, “OK, can you open your eyes a little bit?” But I don’t know how to, because I just squint when I smile. That’s it.

Pearl: Yeah, but it comes across as genuine. Even a forced smile, especially one that includes the eyes, activate those, get them involved in a smile, lowers heart rate, and increases relaxation.

Nancy: The eyes, I’m just thinking about something. Remember when you were young? You had the most . . .  you could do the most fluttering eyelids.

Pearl: I know. I remember I could.

Nancy: Do you ever do that?

Pearl: I do it for my grandchildren, to show off. I say, “Can you do this?” [laughter]

Nancy: I wish we had a YouTube video today! You’ve never seen anything like Pearl’s fluttering eyelids!

Pearl: Even a forced smile improves mood. Several studies, including some from the University of Kansas, show that people who held a fake smile during stress-inducing tasks recovered faster, and they had much lower heart rates. They reported feeling more positive than those with neutral expressions.

Now let’s talk about some of these health benefits, whether it’s fully genuine, and we all know that’s good for us, or something that we practice as a skill. Of course, as you said, Mom, they’re great for relationships.

Smiling is the most powerful form of non-verbal communication that we can do!

What do you do to a baby?

Nancy: You smile. And that’s one of the most wonderful things about motherhood. You know, as a mother, one of the things you receive through smiling is oxytocin, isn’t it? And oxytocin is the bliss hormone, the relaxing hormone. It brings such calmness.

But a mother is looking at her little baby, and you can’t help but smile at a baby. And then your baby smiles back at you, and then you want to smile more. Then you get the baby laughing, and when a baby laughs, you're going to laugh your head off! Then the baby laughs, and you have this interaction. You have it off and on all day! And then you think of some poor mothers who are out there in the office at a computer. And you don’t smile at computers.

Pearl: Right. You don’t get any of that oxytocin. You just sit in blue light all day. It’s like you said, Mom. It’s a positive feedback loop. It’s very scientific. It makes you feel good, and the other person feels good, and it leads to stronger relationships.

Everyone’s supposed to smile at a baby, because it’s part of their brain development as they learn to smile back. We are supposed to, whether we feel like it or not, smile at our husbands, at our family members, at our children. When we wake up in the morning, they’ve been loud. You never were bothered by it when we were loud. I was bothered when my sister was loud.

A smile, as you said, is contagious, and this is part of the relationship thing. Smiling lights up a room and makes everyone feel welcome. As you said, it is the universal language of kindness.

When I was in Japan, I couldn’t speak Japanese. I was visiting my daughter Meadow there. I felt so special. I was caring for Meadow’s children, and people would stop. They didn’t know how to communicate with me because I’m obviously from a foreign country. But they did smile, and it warmed my heart. I fell in love with Japan because they smiled.

Nancy: Wow! Well, actually, I was reading recently a study that was done in Japan. It was by this big company. Each morning, when their workers came, they had to smile at this special thing. It was called a “smile-athon.” They had to practice their smiling. The increase in this company’s finance was amazing as they got all their workers smiling.

Pearl: Yeah, that’s amazing. And they probably needed it too, because part of the culture . . . Japan has an amazing culture with so many brilliant things. But they also have a strong culture of saying if someone does anything wrong. There’s a lot of suicide. There’s a lot of pressure. So, probably, that smiling, that puts a lot of that down.

So, health benefits; mood enhancement. When you smile, your brain releases, as you said, Mom, tiny neuropeptides that help lower cortisol. We know what cortisol does. Excess cortisol breeds disease. It puts fat on our tummy. It gets rid of our muscles. So, these endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and yes, oxytocin, improve mood, reduce feelings of anxiety, and yes, even a fake smile does it.

TAKE A DOSE EVERY DAY!

Nancy: I was reading just recently an article. It has this word “DOSE” in it. Have a dose of something. You know how you have to have a dose of medicine? Well, this is the dose of what we’re meant to have.

D-O-S-E stands for Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins. That’s your dose. We just need a good dose of those four hormones every day. Actually, they’re all going to be released in smiling, aren’t they?

Pearl: Yes, they are.

Nancy: That’s the kind of dose. If we take that dose every day, we’re not going to need all these other doses of medicine, are we?

Pearl: Right. Well, the vagus nerve is our biggest healer that we can turn on. You can have a whole cupboard of supplements. There’s nothing wrong with supplements. I take a fair share of them myself. But smiling is the foundation. “A grateful heart, a merry heart,” the Bible says, “is good like a medicine” (Proverbs 15:13, 15; and 7:22). Like a medicine!

Now science has also discovered that it radically improves cardiovascular health, lowers heart rate and blood pressure, and the immune-boosting potential is huge. It increases the number of white blood cells which fight off infection and the immune system. And smiling actually, they found, reduces pain. Those endorphins do it. Serotonin reduces pain.

When women lose estrogen, especially around menopause, so many women, and I experienced this myself before I got hormones, experience incredible hip pain. It’s called “hip tendinopathy.” Shoulder and neck pain. I would wake up every day, just feeling like I got hit by a Mack truck. But as estrogen, so does serotonin. Serotonin is a natural pain reliever. Smiling, of course, turns it on.

Nancy: Isn’t it amazing how God has given these natural things to be our healing, and to give us that right attitude, instead of being down in the dumps and having to have antidepressants. Do you know the percentage? I don’t know it myself at the moment, how many women are on antidepressants. I know it’s a very high percentage.

Pearl: It’s very high. I think they’re the most, anti-anxiety and antidepressants, are the most prescribed medication to women.

Nancy: And we shouldn’t ever need any of them!

Pearl: Some people, in serious cases, could maybe do them for a short time. But they have found that the art of brain re-wiring is actually at least as good. In fact, many studies show far better than these medicines. It’s amazing.

And this comes down to this interesting one—longer life. Studies have shown a correlation between smiling and increased life span, because of reduced stress, lower blood pressure, and all of that. But one study found that baseball players who smiled in their photos, rather than just
“mmm,” like that, had a straight mouth, lived an average of seven years longer than those who didn’t. And, according to another study from Wayne State University, it was found that happy individuals, those who smiled more, had a 35 percent higher chance of living longer.

Nancy: Wow! That makes you want to smile, doesn’t it?

Pearl: It does! So, I feel like I’m still baby-stepping into this one. Even yesterday was rough. I felt like I was hit with so many things I had to do! I thought, “Surely, I don’t have to smile throughout this day! Surely there are days when you’re meant to be a realist, Pearl, and I don’t know, just reel it up! Be authentic!”

I remind myself it doesn’t serve me well. I notice sometimes when I think, “Pearl, you’re just allowed a sad face sometimes.” Of course, there’s grief. Jesus wept, even. There are times of grief, and there are times of crying. We’re not saying, be a Pollyanna, and put your head in the sand and pretend nothing bad happens. That’s not what we’re saying. I’m not saying that, and neither are you, Mom.

However, it doesn’t serve us well, me well, I’m talking from my personal experience to go back into that state. That’s really who I am. I could just be myself, because this feels heavy, and it’s OK to walk around heavy. But you know what, I go to sleep, I go to sleep heavy.

Nancy: How do you sleep so well?

Pearl: I didn’t get the serotonin. I didn’t get the presence, the presence of smiling, the gift that it gives me for my health, for my mental well-being. Just because it’s scriptural, it’s jolly biblical. Everyone says these days, “well, we have to express it.” But the Bible doesn’t say that. The Bible says to put off those things and put on something else. Put on joy, put on happiness. It’s really quite contrary to what we’re told.

Nancy: It is. And the Word of God is usually opposite to how we feel. I think even in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:10, it’s totally opposite, really. You look at this here: “Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.”

That’s not a very happy thing at all, to be persecuted, or have people saying things falsely about you. That makes you feel lousy. But what does the Bible say? “Rejoice and be exceeding glad.” The Bible is never normal. It’s always over the top: “exceeding glad.”

In the Greek, it actually means “to jump for joy.” I don’t know whether many of us feel like doing that. But once again, it’s obviously something you have to just do, whether you feel like it or not. This is the thing. God gives us things that release us into joy and into victory. But often they’re the opposite of how we feel, aren’t they?

Pearl: Yes, so true. I always think of this. I think David was maybe a little more glass half-empty, maybe in his nature. Maybe he was a little more like the way I felt, like I was born, just being a realist. But he roused himself.

Nancy: He did. In every psalm, you can be reading through, and you can hardly bear it, all he’s going through. [laughter] And suddenly, he’s rejoicing in the Lord!

Pearl: “Why so downcast, O my soul?”

Nancy: He never leaves a psalm without rising up.

Pearl: Put your hope in God. Bless the Lord. He’s telling himself what to do. That’s with the school of smiling. We’re not going to go through our day suddenly wanting to smile, and wanting to do this, and feeling like it. Of course, we see something funny, we’ll smile, or a little baby, or whatever. But what about in the real times? What about in the hard times? We actually have to coach ourselves and actually practice this skill when we feel least like it, I think.

Nancy: Yes. And that verse you were talking about, it’s here in Psalm 42:5. David’s saying: “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me?” But he doesn’t stay there. Then he goes on to say, but “hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.” He never stays in that place.

Pearl: And did you hear that? That means “countenance.” That’s your expression of joy. That’s the smile.

Nancy: Yes, yes. That’s amazing. And what does it say in this? This Scripture says: “for the help of His countenance.” Wow. And then, over in the next Psalm, it repeats it again. Psalm 43:5: “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me?” But then, he rises up: “Hope in God: for I shall yet praise Him, who is the health of my countenance.” This time it’s “the health of my countenance, and my God.” So, it’s all lined up with our health, and our attitudes, and everything, isn’t it?

Pearl: Yeah, I know. I think it’s so amazing. Serene and I deal with the diet industry, the way people eat. We help women eat healthfully. But I think our feelings, many of us, if you live in this society, maybe not you, Mom. Because you've been a very, very healthy eater for a long time, you don’t crave sugary things.

But it’s true that they are a craving for many people. They are a longing, a want. They feel natural. They feel like, “I feel like I need sugar right now. I feel like I want that burger and fries.” Is it good for us? No. The feeling is definitely a deception, because it’s only going to bring ill health.

But so many people think, “Well, it’s called intuitive eating. You feel like it, well, have some. Maybe just a little bit but go with what you're feeling.” But really, when we go with what we’re feeling, we end up in trouble. We have to go with our divine design by our Creator, and He told us what foods are great to eat. 

He said, “I give you milk of the goats, the fat of the land, the crop of the field.” He went through all the food groups, and none of them were fandangled and toxic, and filled with all these things. They were just beautiful food groups.

Then I think that this skill, as you said, that we can learn to, and become maybe, perhaps where you are, where you are smiling naturally. And then you are at that point, desiring the healthy food. I guess what I’m saying is, all these things are skills.

Nancy: Yes, they are. And learning to make them a habit of our lives. You started off with how thankfulness and gratitude are a part of this, and I think that’s a huge thing. Like Colossians 2:7 says: “Abounding therein with thanksgiving.” I think all of us are thankful. But how many of us are actually “abounding in thankfulness”? That word in the Greek is perisseuo, and it means, “super-abounding, exceeding, more than enough, over and above.” It’s actually an over-the-top word. It’s not anything normal.

That is the same Greek word that’s actually used when Jesus fed the five thousand. Then they picked up the twelve basketfuls that were left over. In one translation, in one of the gospels, it says, “There were twelve baskets over and above.” That’s the word, that same Greek word of “abounding in thanksgiving.”

So, I have often been challenged by that. I was thinking, where was my level of thanksgiving? Is it twelve basketsfuls, or is it down to one basketful? Where is our level? How often do we say, “Thank you,” even to our husbands? Or to our children? Or to the people who are around us?

We should be constantly thanking them. In fact, digging up to the twelve basketsful level of abounding, over the top with thanksgiving and that’s going to make you smile and that’s going to put you into that lifestyle that God wants you to live.

Pearl: It’s saying here “lands.” Part of my living gratitude was also thanking. Then being thankful to my husband, I decided to thank him, like you said, for every little thing he did. Because I had always thought, “Well, hold on. We’re both doing things here, and I’m not thanked for everything I do, like cooking dinner. He’s not, ‘Oh, thank you!’” No.

But I thought, “OK, let me just see what can change here.” And suddenly, he remembered everything. You know what I realized, because I used to think, “Well, my husband’s not really the domestic kind. He takes care of other things. He’s really good at those things, but he’s not really great around the house and chores and stuff.”

Until I started thanking him for every little thing he’d done, I realized I have the most amazing, helper around the home! I started to almost feel like I don’t do enough, compared to what my husband does. Once I started thanking him, my . . .

Nancy: Then you noticed how much he was doing.

Pearl: I noticed it!

Nancy: Wow! That is so true.

KEEP IN A STATE A GRATITUDE

Pearl: At one point, he said, “You know, you can stop thanking me for everything I do.” [laughter] But I said, “You don’t like it?” He said, “No, I like it,” but I think he just felt really embarrassed. But I continued, because it keeps me in a state of gratitude. And I don’t want to ever take it for granted.

Nancy: Yes. That is so good. I’m like, “Thank you!” I’m reminded to start thanking Colin even for more things.

Pearl: But I used to think, “Well, it’s his job to take out the trash. I do this, things like that.” It doesn’t matter whose job it is. It doesn’t matter.

Nancy: I know. We still should be so grateful!

Pearl: I said, “Thank you for taking out the trash. I really hate it. And thank you for understanding that I hate it.” And then if there’s a bug to kill, “Thank you for doing that. You know I don’t like that. Thanks for always taking care of me. I feel like such a princess.” These things make whatever they do to him, and I know it does a lot. But it does amazing things for me, and our relationship.

Nancy: Oh, thank you, Pearlie. And precious ladies, we’re all going to be reminded today, aren’t we, to just look at our husbands, and smile at them, and thank them for everything we can think of. And our children too. Wow! You can just start thinking, “What a glorious life you're going to have!”

Oh, and one little thing at the end. One thing also I love to do every day, and I never want to miss out, is to thank the Lord for His great salvation that He gave to us. I love to remember to thank Him every day.

So, oh Pearlie, thank you for coming. It was so wonderful. Do you want to pray for the ladies?

Pearl: Sure.

“Father, thank You first for being our Father, for giving us good things. Every good and precious thing comes from You. And You delight to make us delighted. You’re a good, good Father.

“I just ask that You’ll help us be aware of all Your goodness, that You would be aware that we would become more and more aware of how we represent Your goodness to us, to other people, the ones we love the most. Because sometimes they’re the ones who receive our frowns when they should receive our smiles. No matter if they’ve been perfectly, really imperfect at the time.

“But I just pray that You will set this in our hearts, that we won’t forget that we will continue reminding ourselves daily, and that we’ll grow into women who live in gratitude and express that on our faces. Amen.”

Nancy: Amen.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

MAKE SURE OTHER WIVES AND MOTHRS ARE ENCOURAGED TOO.

 

CATCH UP ON FAMILY MARRIAGES

Kahoru came to live with us as an Above Rubies helper. She came from Japan. Although she is half Japanese and half Australia, she lived most of her life in Japan. Japanese is her first language, and she thinks in Japanese. Anyway, while she was with us, Pearl’s oldest son, Bowen, fell in love with her. That was not hard to do. She is such a beautiful girl. They are now married with three lovely children, Finn, Jax, and beautiful Priscilla Belle, named after Pearl Priscilla.

Then Kahoru’s brother came for a visit to see her and while he was here, he fell in love with Molly Harrison. Pearl’s other son, Noble, is married to Megan Harrison, Molly’s sister. So Riku and Molly became part of the Barrett family too.

Then another sister came to be an Above Rubies helper. Her name was Pipi. Kahoru tried to matchmake her while she was here, but it didn’t work out and she is now leading a YOUTH WITH A MISSION base in Japan.

Then another sister came to visit. This was Satorey and she lived with Pearl and Charlie and became the chef at the Trim Healthy Mama café as she had previously trained in bakery. Since then, another son of Erin Harrison fell in love with Satorey, so she is now married to Michael Harrison! So the Barretts and the Harrisons are quite joined together. But . . . there are twelve children in the Higurashi family!

Wow, can you put all that together?

* THE VAGUS NERVE, TWO PODCASTS WITH PEARL

120. THE DISEASE BUSTING, ANTI-AGING MIRACLE PILL! But it’s not actually a pill!

My daughter, Pearl (Pearl Barrett of Trim Healthy Mama,) joins me today to talk about a most exciting subject. This “special something” (check in to find out) will improve your physical and mental health, transform your marriage, liberate your mothering, your home life, and your whole attitude to life.

121. MORE ABOUT THE VAGUS NERVE

My daughter, Pearl Barrett, joins me again today as we talk more about the vagus nerve, the longest nerve in your body. It is also called the Wanderer as it wanders throughout your body to affect your brain, gut, heart, and lungs, etc. It also affects your whole attitude to life. Find out more today about how activating this nerve can revolutionize your life.

 

MORE PODCASTS WITH PEARL TO CHECK OUT

29. INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE

Introducing my daughter, Pearl Barrett of Trim Healthy Mama. We talk together about grandmothering and intimacy in marriage (one of Pearl’s favorite subjects—and mine too!). Are you going through some sticky times in your marriage? Don’t give up. Don’t miss the reward time! The end is better than the beginning.

210. THE LAND OF MOTHERHOOD

I have my daughter, Pearl (of Trim Healthy Mama) with me today. Pearl shares her story of being a “half-glass person” to becoming a totally “full-glass person”! You’ll hear interesting scientific information and discoveries from Pearl in this podcast that you may have never heard before. You won’t want to miss it!

YOU MAY LIKE TO KNOW THE PODCASTS WITH SERENE

40. HOW CAN WE CHANGE THE WORLD? Part 6

I am joined today by my daughter, Serene Allison of Trim Healthy Mama. We begin the subject of not only being on the side of life but adamantly advocating for a culture of life.

41. HOW CAN WE CHANGE THE WORLD? Part 7

Are we horrified by abortion? Serene joins me again as we continue discussing the preciousness of life. What is Satan’s trio of destruction? We take a stand against abortion. What about contraception and sterilization?

42. HOW CAN WE CHANGE THE WORLD? Part 8

Facing obstacles to embracing life. Serene shares testimonies of the obstacles and difficulties she faced in embracing life.

100. HOW CAN YOU ENJOY INTIMACY IN YOUR MARRIAGE WITH BABIES AND TODDLERS AROUND?

Today my daughter, Serene Allison, joins me to talk about a hot subject. We discuss how you can keep intimacy alive in your marriage even when you have babies and littles ones and you feel overwhelmed with children. And we don’t forget the older women who are sometimes petering out!

211.THE LAND OF MOTHERHOOD, Part 22

Serene shares how she has learned in her own personal experiences to get out of the “grumps” and into the “glory.” She shares how she has learned to CAST OFF “the old man” (“the dead man full of maggots” she calls it!) and “put on the new man” as she mothers in her home. Serene is a mother of 14 children with eight still living in the home. You will be revolutionized as you listen to this LIFE CHANGING revelation.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE PODCASTS WITH EVANGELINE?

6. PROCLAIMING MOTHERS

You will be excited and inspired as Evangeline, my evangelistic and extrovert daughter, joins me for this session. As we read the Scriptures we constantly face “the tension of truth.” We often notice two apparently contradictory things, and yet because the Word of God is divinely inspired, both are true! We cannot hold one over the other. We face this as we read Psalm 68:11 where it talks about the “female proclaimers.” Does this mean women are to leave their homes to become preachers and pastors? What about the other Scriptures that reveal God’s plan for women to embrace home and mothering? How does it fit together? Listen to this podcast to find the answer.

85: UNAPOLOGETICALLY UNASHAMED AND UNOFFENDABLE!

Evangeline joins me today for a world-changing episode on how to live unashamedly for Christ and bring God’s life-giving power wherever you go—even on a cruise ship!

117. ACCIDENTS, DEATH, LIFE, AND THE GOODNESS AND GLORY OF GOD

Evangeline joins me today as we talk about these things. I can’t even tell you in print. You’ll have to listen to find out.

212. THE LAND OF MOTHERHOOD, Part 23

Another revolutionary podcast today with my daughter, Evangeline. She shares her story of mothering her young children in a small one room “hut” with no running water and cooking outside. Eventually, they had two rooms where she and her husband slept in the kitchen. No room for children’s beds so they all slept on the floor in the main room. She tells how she learned to embrace her situation with joy and make it fun and how she has learned to CHOOSE JOY in every situation. Be ready for a challenge when Vange gets going!

 

 

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 366: WORKING TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE

 

You will really love this podcast as Becca Groves talks about learning to go with her husband's vision of homesteading and tells stories of how God has helped them to work together and become a team.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies. Here we are again, and I have Becca Groves with me again. They’re here all the way from Minnesota. We’re here to share together again. Her husband is the author of two books, Durable Trades and The Family Economy. We may talk about this together. But in our last podcast together, Becca and I got talking about soup, gardens, and all kinds of things.

I was thinking, as we were talking about them, about my own mother. I was very blessed to be raised by a loving mother and homemaker who loved home. I didn’t need to get any lessons about the difference of male and female and husband and wife, because I saw it worked out before my eyes.

My father was a great man, a great provider, a real man’s man. And my mother was this beautiful wife and mother and homemaker. Oh, how my father loved her! He was so proud of her. She was a great mother, but the thing that she loved to do was to sew. She’d been a professional dressmaker before she was married. She loved to sew our clothes. In fact, right up until I was married, she sewed my beautiful dresses. I was so blessed. She even made her husband’s jackets and sports coats.

She would now, I think, be about 105 years of age if she was still alive. She passed away at 83. But I wrote a poem about her. I wrote more than one, but I’ll just read you this one, because it gives a picture of a very contented wife and mother in the home. I call it “Nana’s Kitchen,” because she was called “Nana” by all her grandchildren, whereas I am also called “Nana” by all my grandchildren now. Now we’re having great-grandchildren. We have 37 great-grandchildren so far, and we’re just getting started! Anyway, “Nana’s Kitchen.”

Nana’s kitchen exuded warmth and love,

It was a little taste of heaven above,

It had a drawing power that was irresistible,

Beckoning, nourishing, totally amiable.

 

Out of her oven came delectable food,

To make you feel in a wonderful mood,

Scones, bran muffins, and healthy cookies,

Filled with raisins, nuts, and goodies.

 

She liked to add dried ginger as well,

This made Granddad feel real swell.

Every meal was scrumptious and served with care,

There was always more than enough to spare.

 

Nana started the day with millet and linseed,

The king of cereals for her body’s need.

What a joy to sit down for lunch with Nana,

And eat her wholesome soups, oh, what manna!

 

Oh yes, the salad, Nana would never forget

To have her raw veggies with vinaigrette.

But more than the food, it was Nana herself,

Imparting counsel and wisdom which is true wealth.

 

She always had some new story to tell,

Perhaps about health or some personnel,

But best of all, rich nuggets from the Lord,

The One she loved and always adored.

 

Oh, how we long for those moments again,

Yet in our memories they’ll forever remain,

Of sitting at her table and being nourished,

While our whole body, soul, and spirit flourished.

 

Becca: Wow.

Nancy: Isn’t that great?

Becca: It raises the bar.

Nancy: I was very blessed to grow up with that. And yet, you know, she didn’t have it perfect as she was growing up. Her mother died when she was very little, just a toddler. Later her father married again. This woman was good to her, but she never knew how to show love. She didn’t grow up with the expression of love.

But then she married my father, and he was a very outgoing, loving man. Somehow, she learned to be that way herself. So, I was so very blessed. I had a wonderful example to carry on. Yes, and then for that to carry on to my children. I think cooking . . .  Nana’s life was in the kitchen, cooking. Then it had been a big part of my life.

That’s another thing. I notice a lot of homeschooling mothers today, as their children are growing, as their daughters are hitting their teenage years, they are handing over the cooking to them. That becomes their job. Now, I don’t know what to say. I think that’s very good in some ways. But I have to tell you, I could never hand that over completely.

Of course, my daughters learned to cook. Who are they today? Trim Healthy Mama! They’re amazing, the most amazing cooks! They’re most amazing with food. This anointing with food comes right back to my mother.

But I could never completely hand that over, because I believe that no matter what stage of our mothering, we should still be the heart of the home. Cooking is such an anointing of nourishing and blessing. How could I ever give that up? Of course, we want to train our daughters and give them that opportunity. I think that’s very important. But to completely back away from it, no. I think we’ve always got to be there in the heart of the home.

Becca: You know, it’s funny you say that, because our dishwasher broke, maybe half a year ago. My husband said, “Let’s not fix it.” “What? Wait a minute.” [laughter] We have been doing dishes by hand, and I can’t get over the fruit of that practice, because it means that there’s just a couple of us squished up together, one scrubbing, one rinsing, and another wiping. We’re all scuttling about the kitchen.

Our hearts aren’t always joyful, but it is a wonder how that practice, our hearts will open up, often. Conversation will start to tumble out. Things will start to be shared, and it’s as we’re working together, side by side.

Nancy: Well, dishwashers are always breaking, aren’t they? I’ve had so many dishwashers that have broken. Now we are in the same state. I think, “Don’t let’s get another one.” We haven’t had another one for years! We just wash dishes. Well, I actually love washing dishes. I can wash them so quickly. Wow! Just one flick and I’ve done them.

Of course, if there are a lot, it is really the job of my Above Rubies girls to do the dishes because I cook the meals. They are meant to do the dishes. Oh, but sometimes I do have to just leave the kitchen, because I can’t believe how slow they are. This job, which could take five minutes, takes half an hour or more. [laughter] I don’t know, they just maybe haven’t learned to do them quickly. Or, of course, most of them have dishwashers! And these poor darling girls, now they’ve got to wash by hand! Oh, it must be terrible for them. But anyway . . . [laughter]

Becca: It’s funny, because we’ll set a timer, and we’ll try to beat our own record.

Nancy: I love that! Cheaper by the Dozen. Have you ever read Cheaper by The Dozen?

Becca: I never did.

Nancy: Oh, you should read it! It is so amazing! It’s been years since I read it. But he used to have his stopwatch out. Every single thing they did in the house, he would time it to see it they could cut corners and do it better. Not less. They had to not only do it better, but quicker. They would get every job down to the quickest time.

Becca: That is a life skill right there. We could mope and we could do things. It turns into real labor.

Nancy: True!

Becca: Or we can go hit it, we can work hard, and we can move on with the next thing.

Nancy: That is so true. You can make a task a long, boring, laborious task, or you just get it done! You feel you've accomplished something!

Becca: My nine-year-old came in from getting the . . .  She feeds the chickens, the hens, in the mornings. She said, “Well, Mom, I swallowed the big frogs first.” She doesn’t like going to feed the chickens because she has to lock up the dog. Otherwise, the dog tries to get into the henhouse and it’s a big rigamarole. It’s usually a little bit of drama out there.

I said, “Oh, go tell your dad that! That’s awesome to hear!” Because that’s her chore that she doesn’t enjoy the most. I thought, “Well, that’s a good life lesson right there. Just wake up, go out to the henhouse, do the thing you don’t want to do the most, and then get on with your morning.” That was really sweet.

Nancy: Yes, well, I think you were going to talk a little bit more about this vision of your husband, the family economy, and coming back to the home and working together. How does that really work out? And how does it work out with you and your husband together?

Becca: Yes, well, the Lord is gracious. He’s just always working on my heart. I started to realize that all of homemaking, the home that He cares about the very most, is my heart. He’s doing work in there. What do you think is below you? What would you rather not do? He’s always working on my attitude, and all those things.

I feel like the land has had its way on our family. I had never done any of these things. I grew up with a house cat in the suburbs, so now that we have all these animals, and we’re butchering on our farm, and all these things. We’re trying to produce our own food.

Nancy: And how many chickens do you butcher?

Becca: We butcher 100 chickens each year.

Nancy: Wooo!

Becca: Yeah. Yeah.

Nancy: That is so great. You’re not going to starve!

Becca: We’re not! We’re not! Actually, it’s amazing! That has become my fast food. It used to be a frozen pizza. Now it’s a frozen chicken into the InstaPot. It’s terrible. It’s not really giving that chicken the best finish it deserves, I think, but it’s a very fast meal. I think that’s so interesting that now home-raised chicken is now my go-to fast food. “Oh, I’ve got to throw something in so that we can eat in a little bit.”

But the land has had its way on us. It’s had its way on our marriage. The world has gender roles and all these things. I remember the first time we baled our field. I was watching my husband. I can’t lift a bale! It’s like 60 pounds. I just don’t have the upper body strength. I can lift one. I’m not going to stand out there all day long in the heat and lift them, and hoist them, and throw them. I can scootch them.

I remember standing out there and thinking, “What that man needs right now is hydration and calories!” It was so physical! It’s such work. I’ve found myself in the kitchen, and I was like, “I’m going to make that switchel that haymakers drink with apple cider vinegar and a little maple syrup.” It’s really good for rehydrating.

Then I started making some potatoes and meat. “You’ve got to eat!” It was so funny, because I realized that the upset of gender roles really is a sign of our modern day, that you can say, “I don’t want to do that.” But if you're working together on a farm, they really divide themselves according to your ability.

Nancy: Exactly. God has created . . .

Becca: There’s really nothing to fight against. He’s just sweating buckets out there, and I was thinking, “I’m so glad my gig is to make the food and the drink!” It felt like that’s exactly where I want to be! Just keeping out there with him on the tractor and handing up more water.

Nancy: That is always the way with farming. They’re out there doing that hard work. The mother is in the kitchen. She’s getting the drinks, not only for her husband, but for all the helpers, and the food. That’s full-time when they’re working out, and baling, and doing all the different things they do on the farm, they’ve got to be constantly fed.

Becca: Totally! Totally! And then you start to realize, too, when it’s animal birthing time. We had one spring where we had 17 goat kids or lambs born within five days, and we’re new to it. If somebody’s seasoned, it’s like, “That’s nothing!” But when you're brand new, that is a lot of births!

We had one that wasn’t going great. It’s early in the morning, and it’s he and I, just husband and wife out there, working together. Massaging the belly, “What can we feel? What do we know?” We’re calling the vet, but the vet is not coming. So then, it’s just him and I together. Finally, it resolved.

The sun hasn’t even come up yet, and we’re in the kitchen. I’m making coffee, and I’m making some eggs because we’re famished. We’re wiped. We’re so tired, and the day hasn’t even begun. It’s like, even at that moment, we are yoked up, we are a team.

I just remember thinking, “This is what we all are wanting in our marriage. It was so silly, because we were sleep-deprived, we were really gross [laughter], and I had never loved him more in my life! Because we were working together as a partnership, as friends, but really dependent on each other. He needed me, and I needed him.

You’ll love this story. The first time we sheared sheep . . .  We had a shearer coming on Memorial Day. And lo and behold, the three days before Memorial Day were supposed to hit 99 degrees in Minnesota which is hot! We have these sheep that are in full winter wool, just so big. We think, “They won’t survive until Memorial Day when this guy is coming out!” We’re brand new. We literally went to Tractor Supply, and I got a pair of shears. I don’t know where they came from. We got clippers.

Nancy: You got hand shears!?

Becca: Hand.

Nancy: I don’t believe it!

Becca: [laughter] And we did not . . . Nancy, this is so great . . .  did not have electricity in our barn. We put the children to bed. One of us would hold the ewe on her back until we couldn’t feel any of our legs anymore. Then I’d need to switch.

Nancy: So, you put her on her back.

Becca: Oh, Nancy, we knew enough.

Nancy: Normally they shear the sheep . . .

Becca: I know who I’m talking to. [laughter]

Nancy: Their hind legs, and their back is resting against the shearer as they’re standing up.

Becca: We know more now! [laughter]

Nancy: Oh, goodness me!

Becca: You know way more! [laughter] But we were . . .

Nancy: I should just pop in here that I think many of you do know that my father was, in his day, (he’s passed on now) but he was the world’s champion sheep shearer. He designed the way shearing is done today. It’s called “The Bowen Technique.” I was Nancy Bowen. So, he would shear a sheep in about a minute.

Becca: Oh, man!

Nancy: His fastest time was 37 seconds. Can you believe it?

Becca: [gasp] An entire sheep??

Nancy: He was a master shearer. But anyway, carry on with your story.

Becca: OK, well. Now, let’s go to the other end of the spectrum.

Nancy: So, you've got the sheep on his back?

Becca: [laughter] You should know as I’m saying this, I can see all the pictures of Nancy’s father on the back wall behind her right now as we’re talking. This is a riot. So, inch by inch, so scared we’re going to cut the sheep.

Nancy: In the wrong part!

Becca: Oh, for sure! And no confidence, and the sun is setting, and we’re doing this according to the daylight. The first night, we got two sheep on their sides so that they woke up with a Mohawk. That was going to be the next day. Then the next night, we came back and got the third sheep’s sides. We only had three, which was the grace of the Lord. Then we came to get the top of their Mohawks off.

Nancy: What did they look like??

Becca: Oh, like the worst, the worst. You can picture it right now. By the time the sheep shearer showed up three days later, he was like, “What was going on here??”

Nancy: There was probably nothing for him to shear.

Becca: But the sheep were nice and cool, and it was great. I will tell you, I said to my husband, while we’re doing it, we’re laughing, and then we’re not laughing. Then we’re kind of crabby, then we’re tired. Then we’re getting giggles again, the whole gamut of all the emotions.

I said to him, “You know, in all the premarital counseling out there, I do believe that before a couple gets married, they should have to shear a sheep with hand clippers! If you can weather that storm together, you may go walk down the aisle and make your vows!”

But the farm really creates these genuine, we have to have each other. You have to have a partner, and you have to have a vision. What was happening on the farm more and more, and I spoke of this a little earlier, but Rory would go off and isolate and work on his computer all by himself.

It started to really bother him when he realized, “There’s no inheritance I’m going to be able to leave to my children from this in the way of skills or knowledge, or anything. Anything I were to teach them.” He’s pretty averse now to screens anyway. Nobody’s on screens in our house right now, just because he knows their addictive powers and all those things.

At any rate, he would then come back to the family, and we’d be working together, and there was a job for the four-year-old, to go get the eggs. There’s work for every age. He read Kevin Swanson, the one who coined the term, “the family economy.” When he read it, it just lit him up. He said it was like a light bulb turned on and it will never turn off again. Lord, You have so much more in store for the family given to you.

Then he starts reading Allen Carlson and Industrialism. Just the effects that we aren’t even hardly aware of. We’re just living in our place in time. But families used to work together. There used to be productivity. But the family economy, the whole of the economy was under the roof of the home. They were industrious. I think of the founding of the country. There were no shoemakers. Every single household could make their own shoes. This is really interesting, like the cobbler even. Everyone was a cobbler.

He went on a quest, like, “What could I still do with my family?” He started with the founding of the nation and the trades that were around then. Then he followed all of them through the course of time. Which ones are still viable today?

He ranked them, and he ranked them according to, is it something I could do with my family? That was very important to him. Is it something that . . .  what is the ease of entry? Do I have to go back to school for eight years or can I just start this up? What do I need to have? Will it withstand a pandemic or economic upheaval? He scored them. He ranked them.

Nancy: Wow! So, what did he . . . What are some of the main ones?

Becca: Well, you’ll love this. Shepherding came in number one because it’s a family, and basically the family farm came in at number one, because there’s work for every age, even the elderly. There is work, and there is a need, and there is a role.

Nancy: Isn’t that interesting? Shepherding. When you think that the two greatest leaders that we read about in the Bible, and perhaps for all time, were both Moses and David. God called them both from tending the sheep. That was their training. He said to them, “I’ve called you from the sheepcote, to lead My people.” That’s the kind of person He wanted. That’s where He trained them.

Becca: Oh, amen. And I would add, how much do you learn by shepherding?

Nancy: Because that’s who we are as mothers. We are shepherdesses. That’s who we are.

Becca: Yes, yes. You watch a good shepherd, and they are calm. Their sheep know their voice. They don’t chase after their sheep to get them to behave. Those sheep come to them when they call. There is so much there that, yes, David and Moses, no doubt the Lord was training them by doing that work of, how do you get this group to follow, to cooperate, to hear your voice?

Nancy: And Moses waited 40 years out there with the sheep. Wow. Isn’t that amazing?

Becca: So, Rory started doing this research on what our family could do together? It was him figuring it out for ourselves. At some point, he said to me, “I think I’m actually writing a book right now.” It became very obvious that, oh yeah, this would be helpful for a lot of families that are waking up and saying, “This isn’t sustainable. This isn’t a great way to live, to have such disunity in a household where you don’t even know Dad’s co-workers.” It’s like there’s a second life that’s always happening.

Nancy: That’s the normal family today, even in the Christian church. Everyone is going their separate ways. Everyone in the family. There are some families, when they wake up in the morning, Dad goes to work, Mom goes to work, every child goes out to school, or to where they’re going. And the whole home is just empty. The place where God planned for us to be and work together.

Becca: And then what is the fruit of that? You have a husband going in this direction, wife going in this direction. Well, you're really only left with irreconcilable differences, because we have no unity. We have nothing that’s drawing. We have no vision of what we are to do together.

The second book is The Family Economy. It’s really a handbook. It’s short. It’s supposed to be one that a husband can read one night, and pass it off, and “Wife, you read it the next night. Then let’s go out and talk about it. Let’s dream a bigger dream. What would God have our family do?”

In the back of it, it’s called “The Family Gift Inventory.” It’s who, and you do it with your whole family. You call a family meeting and pop some popcorn. “Children, we need your help. When you think of Dad, what is he passionate about? What does he love? What really excites him? What are his natural gifts?”

Now we turn the page. “Who is Mom? What gets her so excited? What are her natural gifts?” You make these lists, and “Oh, Mom loves this! And she’s really good with numbers, or details,” or whatever the things are. Then we say, “Do the math. Add them together.”

The thing is, in our culture, you would look at yourself and say, “Oh, we are so different!” You’d feel sorry for yourself, and you’d say, “She is so calculated, and wants to have things on the calendar a month ahead of time. He won’t take a step until he knows how it’s going to end. I am spontaneous, and I am fun, and I . . .” You know.

All of a sudden, you feel like, “Oh, Lord! This is a grace, isn’t it? You gave me Rory, because You knew I need that man. I need him together.” All I’m saying is, in our differences, all of a sudden, added together, we are like one great whole. There is so much more when we’re partnered up. Instead of saying, “We’re so different,” you’d say, “Praise God! We’re so different!” Isn’t that the gift?

Then, we live in a day where it’s never been different. We just think, “I came to this marriage with this degree, and now I need to go to this job to pay these student loans that I still have.”

Nancy: Do you still have some?

Becca: I don’t. I don’t, but I’m saying I did . . .

Nancy: Praise the Lord!

Becca: Yeah, praise the Lord! Huge gratitude to my folks. But yes, that was a total gift, because we didn’t have this kind of vision. But a lot of decisions are made for you before you even walk down the aisle. I would love to do this for people for their premarital counseling, and say, “If God has brought you together, what would He have you do together?” How exciting is that?

Any of you listening, we know we live in a day where it’s been generations that have gotten us to this very segregated place. It may take generations to get out. We’re not saying, “Dad, quit your job, and come home and start whittling, and try to sell your wares.” But try to think, “What could we create? What could we do as a family?” Start working in that direction.

I really think the Lord is ready to bless that family that is on their knees, praying for vision. “Lord, what would You have us to do? You have a better way. What would it be, Lord?” To me, that’s so exciting. We’ve seen it. That’s the other fun thing. We have a front row seat now, where we hear stories, and we see it.

Nancy: Oh, yes. But OK, you're doing it now. But when your husband first got the vision, what did you say? This is very foreign to you.

Becca: Yes, very foreign.

Nancy: How did you cope?

Becca: Very foreign, because I was raised very strong-willed. The Lord had to start, truly, with order in our marriage. You know how He did it? And it’s so gentle and gracious. But I started while we were on the farm and realized the fruit doesn’t lie. You follow the fruit.

So, if you plant a cucumber seed, a cucumber will grow from it, right? I was looking at different relationships and just seeing the fruit of it. Is their lifestyle, is that leading to unity and forward vision? Or is it that leading to separation and division? You can see it very clearly.

Then I was seeing it also in the heart of the woman and the disposition of the woman. I really think that women need control. That turns into fear. It’s a muscle we have to start to relax, because that fear is going to block all the things that the Lord may be doing. So, I started seeing couples where I saw a wife who was behind her husband, encouraging him, saying, “Where are we going, honey? I am with you.”

I think every wife wants to be going somewhere, but I think a lot of times we can mess the whole thing up by our own fears, our own what-ifs, our own concerns. We really drag the man down into no sort of leadership. The Lord had to do that in my heart first. He did it very much through me seeing things and starting to understand. I married this man. God has entrusted him into my care, and the thing that I’m most responsible for in all the world is being his helper, his encourager, his cheerleader.

When I figured that out that I’m not meant to carry this load, I think that’s what happens. You think, “I’d better carry the plan,” and it bogs you down. We are more powerful together now. I have more power in the marriage than I did as a nag! You know how that is? Now we’re a team. We’re a partnership. We bounce everything off of each other, but it’s only because I was able to relax and let him lead. Seeing my job is just to put wind in his sails.

“No, no, no, we’re going there! I believe in this. We’re doing this thing.” The difference in that is so radical. It’s like we’ve had two different marriages, honestly. One was where I was wanting to help run the show all the time, and we’re butting heads, and we’re fighting. What is the fruit of that? It’s just a woman who’s really loud and not awesome to be around.

But then there’s the other. That like, I love him, I value him, and I know I’m accountable to the Lord to say, “I built that man up. I loved him so well.” I just follow. There’s real freedom in that, too.

Nancy: That is such a beautiful testimony, Becca. I think that’s so wonderful. You reap what you sow. When you get back into order, it’s interesting. You know that the Greek word for “submission” is from two Greek words. Hupo, which means “to come under,” and then tasso, “to place in an orderly fashion.”

It’s interesting that there is order in it, and it’s God’s order. When we resist it, we get out of order. Of course, I might put in, some people hate that word. I think, many times, it’s because there are husbands who try to push their wife into submission, where there is not one Scripture in the whole of the Bible where it tells a man to get his wife to submit.

No, it speaks to the wives. It’s a voluntary thing. It’s coming under their, not only their leadership, but their protection and provision, and their vision, of course. Their vision, that’s a big one! That’s often what a wife will try to balk at, because oh, she’s scared! But, as we submit to that, come under that, all the examples of “coming under” are so beautiful.

That same word is used of the parable where Jesus talks about this little seed that grows into this big tree, so the birds of the air can come “under” the shade of it (Mark 4:30-32).

It’s the same word that’s used when Jesus was on the Mount of Olives, looking out over Jerusalem. And He said, “Oh, Jerusalem, Jerusalem! How I would have longed for you to come under my wings, as chickens come under the hen” (Matthew 23:27). That beautiful safety and protection.

And then, when it’s talking about the children of Israel going to the desert, and they came “under” the cloud (1 Corinthians 10:1). Every day God put the cloud there so they would not have to get out there in the heat of that desert. He protected them. That’s a beautiful word! But then, OK, then it’s God’s order. It’s so beautiful. And you have seen the fruit of that.

Becca: I want to close with this one story. When I was pregnant with my fifth child, I played the baby moon card. That was like, “Let’s just go for an overnight.” So, we had my parents watching the children and we went to this beautiful part of Minnesota, right on the Mississippi. And we were driving on this road, and there was a truck way up ahead that was going really slow.

We’re on a two-lane road, and we’re just kind of stuck. It’s a little putzy, but it’s a gorgeous day. We’re just on this little vacation anyway. I was looking at the car in front of us. It was a gorgeous SUV with matching pontoon. They were both black with a little shimmer, but very nice. The wife sitting in the front seat had Ray-Bans on, and she had her feet out the window.

Then I looked out the back window, in my rear-view mirror, and I could see there was a motorcycle behind us. It had a husband and wife on this motorcycle. They both had their headsets on, with their helmets. They’re talking to each other, and they’re laughing. They’re doing that thing that motorcyclists do when they get bored, and they start swooping back and forth on the road, because we’re all stuck behind this slow truck.

It was so crystal clear. I looked up at that woman, who I could see in her rear-view mirror. And I thought, “Huh. If I had married that man driving that SUV, I would be a river rat. Every Saturday, I’d pack a picnic, and I’d get the pontoon ready. I’d fold up the towels, and we’d go hit the lake. We’d go spend the day. I’d pack the sparkling water, and I’d make some broccoli salad. That would be my life.”

And I looked in my rear-view mirror, and I saw the motorcycle lady. I thought, “And if I had married that man, I’d have to get some black leather pants or something! And hit the trail. Where are we going? Where are we going on our little . . .” I don’t know motorcycles very well. “On our run? Where are we going this weekend?”

I saw that, and then I looked over, and I saw my husband. I’m pregnant, very pregnant, with our fifth child. The whole minivan is full of car seats behind us. We’re in a rusted-out minivan that smells like goldfishy crackers. I thought, “But I married this man. This is the one that God gave to me. Because I married him, now, I’m milking a goat! I’m living on a farm. And I’m foraging my woods for stinging nettles to make into herbal tea.”

It was such a powerful moment of like, you become “one flesh.” I think a lot of times women fight it. I think, “I’m NOT becoming one flesh! I’m going to continue in my own hopes and dreams and visions.” But what I saw in that moment, so crystal clear, is no, that’s the man that God entrusted you with. It’s not going to look like any other marriage. Not forward, not backward. It’s going to be unique to your unique family. It will be one of a kind.

It’s so much more exciting, and it’s so much more thrilling than anything you could ever ask or imagine in your own limited scope of vision. So, my encouragement of our whole ministry, GATHER AND GROW is our ministry. We have a newsletter. I want to mention that.

Nancy: What do you call it again? GATHER AND GROW?

Becca: Gather and Grow. Gather and Grow. But if you go to the http://www.thegrovestead.com, we have a newsletter that we bring out four times a year. Our children write in it. All of it is an encouragement. It’s an encouragement to live a productive life, and not a consumer . . . to produce more than you're consuming. It’s an encouragement for children to work with their hands. Learn a skill, learn a trade.

Our whole hope in life is to be “yay-sayers,” and not “nay-sayers.” There are so many people who will say, “Oh, don’t do that because you might not succeed.” Risk-averse are all out there. We just want to be encouragers, to say, “Bring the vision back into the roof of your home.”

Nancy: Wonderful, Becca! Say the link for your Gather and Grow again.

Becca: Yes, I think the easiest is to go to https://www.thegrovestead.com.

Our last name is Groves, so we call our farm the Grovestead, like a homestead. But https://www.thegrovestead.com is our website. You can find our newsletter there. You can find Rory’s books. I’m blogging on there still. I love it, just sharing what our family’s up to. We’d love to be connected with other families that feel this stirring in a culture that is not going the direction we feel like.

Let’s go upstream together.

Nancy: Wonderful! That’s been so beautiful to hear, Becca. Thank you! Would you like to pray for the ladies this morning?

Becca: That would be an honor.

“Lord, first of all, I thank You so much for Nancy. I thank You, God, for her bright light, and the way that she is leading so many of us, with her love, and with her truth, and with her grace and her tenderness. But also, Lord, with her very sober spirit, just telling us what’s at stake, and continuing to remind us of what is at stake.

“Lord Jesus, we thank You so much for our children. We thank You that You made us mamas. We thank You for our husbands. God, no matter the state of our marriage right now, You are the Redeemer. You are in the business of making all things new. So, God, I pray for hope to flood the hearts of all listening. I pray for imagination. I pray for a wind of Your Spirit, God, to fill the homes of all who are listening.

“Lord, we thank You for this high calling. We thank You for reminding us of this important work. Keep us very diligent, Lord, in doing our day-to-day, as we make soup, as we make our breakfast, lunch, and dinner, as we train these children in the way they should go.

“We love You, Jesus. In Your Name we pray. Amen.”

Nancy: Amen! Thank you again for being with us.

Becca: What a joy! Thank you.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

IT IS ENCOURAGING FOR ALL WIVES AND MOTHERS.

 

 

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 365: OVERCOMING THE DAILY CHALLENGES OF MOTHERING

Rebecca Groves from Northfield, Minnesota, joins me today as she talks about her challenges as a wife and mother on their homestead. Her husband is the author of two books, Durable Trades and The Family Economy.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Today I have with me a visitor, all the way from Northfield, Minnesota. That’s just south of Minneapolis. And I have with me Becca Groves. Becca and her husband and family have just been down to visit Tennessee this last weekend because her husband has been speaking at the HOMESTEAD FESTIVAL held in Columbia, Tennessee. There were 5,000 to 6,000 people there, weren’t there?

Becca: Yes, I was told, many people.

Nancy: Her husband, Rory, has written two very interesting and powerful books about the family. The first one is Durable Trades. Then he has just written another one, called The Family Economy. They are by Rory Groves, so you can check them out.

Anyway, Becca, it’s so lovely to have you with me today. You have six children so far.

Becca: We do.

Nancy: Well, you can tell us their names.

Becca: Oh, absolutely. They are the joy of my life. Nancy, I’m so happy to be here with you. I feel like you and I have a meeting every morning, just so you know. I read my Bible, and I have my prayer time. And then I read one of your 100 Days of Blessings every morning. I tell every friend, “She is like my cheerleader.” When you need an encouraging word, and I feel like motherhood needs a lot of encouraging words, there are not a lot of people speaking encouraging words. You have been such a gift to me and my six children.

Ivar is 14 years old, Elsie is 12, Hattie is nine. This feels like a pop quiz right now! Alden is seven, Elias is five, and Abel is very two. [laughter]

Nancy: Amazing, wonderful age!

Becca: Yes, very young. It is a wonderful age. He’s a riot.

Nancy: And three of them are playing on our little playground.

Becca: They’re so happy. They found a park.

Nancy: That’s so great! Now, Becca, you have found that your husband has been getting into this whole concept of the family economy, although we’re not speaking so much about that today. We’re covering the motherhood part. But that’s affected your motherhood. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Becca: Absolutely. I was supposed to be an awesome mom. And I was just made so low. I was a babysitter growing up. I was always teaching Sunday school. I nannied for a long time. I worked at a summer camp as a camp counselor.

When I had my own children, it really was when I had my second. Then I had two children who couldn’t unbuckle their top buckle. I had two children who couldn’t even put socks on. I had two children who were utterly dependent on me.

The Lord used that time to really refine me. I remember crying to my husband. “I was supposed to be good at this!” And he would say, “You’re good at it, but the Lord’s doing a work in your heart right now.” I said to him, “Yeah, but the thing about the refiner’s fire, is that it burns!” [laughter]

But I was raised the traditional way, like public school, like, “Go, you can be whatever you want to be. Adventures out there. You’re a shining star.” What is motherhood, but the most genius way of the Lord to say, “You are super special, and I love you so much that I am coming in and I’m going to make you more like Me. And I’m going to use your children to do so.”

That is exactly, exactly, what happened. I feel like each child then . . .  I have gained muscle along the way. I can see my growth. I can see where, OK, at first, I started making soup with a recipe. Then I realized I don’t really need a recipe. Then I figured out how to make more soup. Then I figured out how to stretch yesterday’s soup into tonight’s soup. Very practical muscles as the family grows. At any rate, I feel like my journey of motherhood . . .

Nancy: It’s interesting hearing you say “soup,” because I find a lot of American families don’t eat soup. It’s not so American.

Becca: How fascinating!

Nancy: Well, amongst the people I know, I’ll have a big pot of soup, because I’m a soup maker.

Becca: Uh-huh. Uh-huh!

Nancy: I love making soup, all kinds of soup. I make it differently every time I make it.

Becca: Yes! Totally.

Nancy: I just made a wonderful pot of soup last night. I had about four different kind of beans, which I soaked overnight. Then, about ten different vegetables, and organic beef. It’s so filled with nutrition! I always have to count, “How many vegetables did I put in that soup?”

In fact, in the soup, you get more than if you're just doing an ordinary meal. When I make a meal, I’ll have meat, and then I love vegetables, so I have at least three vegetables and also the salad. But in a soup, you get even more than that! Isn’t it amazing?

Becca: It is.

Nancy: You can make all kinds of soup. Now I’m getting beautiful fresh vegetables out of my garden.

Becca: Yes, yes! You know, this is actually a fascinating thing, because I feel like we started homesteading in the same season of my motherhood. My soup making comes from, well, I have this chicken. We’re eating it tonight. I’ll make the broth out of the bones. As your family grows, it’s like, “How do I make this chicken spread into another meal?” That’s always the game, right? So, I call it “poor man’s food.”

But as we’ve had more children and we’ve grown more of our own food, I’m realizing, “Oh, all of these foods, these cultural ethnic foods, where some mom who had a bunch of cabbage, and some tomatoes, and some leftover rice, and a little bit of meat. And she invented, quote, unquote, cabbage rolls.

But it’s like, oh, that makes so much sense. Soup is like some mom just saying, “All right, well, dinner comes around at lightning speed. How can I make last night’s soup stretch into tonight’s?” Or, “How do I make last night’s chicken stretch into another meal tonight?”

Nancy: Isn’t that so wonderful, seeing you using the broth from the bones. But then, you have to be careful, because if you don’t have an organic or a home-grown chicken, you're not going to want to make broth from those commercial chickens.

Becca: Sure.

Nancy: I never do that. But if I have an organic chicken, or home-grown, well, I’m always going to use them to make the broth. In fact, I love making broth. I love to boil up bones for at least 72 hours.

Becca: I remember you telling me that.

Nancy: Yes! So, when your broth becomes like thick, thick jelly, so filled with all that amazing stuff.

Becca: I have to confess, I use an InstaPot, so I’m really sorry. I saw your pot downstairs, and that’s like gold, right there. 72 hours!

Nancy: Now I’ve got lots of celery growing in the garden. I love to make a cream of celery soup, so I’ll go and grab celery with all the tops, the greens. I notice how many people will only use the bottoms. They cut off all the green tops and throw them in the trash. So much is thrown away that is so filled with goodness! I will chop up everything, with some onions and garlic, and simmer it. Then I’ll add maybe coconut milk to make it creamy. Oh, it’s so beautiful. You can make soup out of anything, can’t you?

Becca: You can! You can! It’s so funny. I’m thinking, “This is hilarious, we’re on these little soup cans.” But this is part of it. It’s like the Lord just teaches so much creativity, so much industriousness in the heart of the woman if you're willing to take it on.

It would be easier, actually, to load everybody up and go to Culver’s. But there’s the fruit of, “OK, what have I got in this fridge that I can pull together? I can make something tonight for dinner.” The world’s going to scream, “Don’t do that! You don’t need to bother! Just buy something ready-made.” But that’s the culture that’s yelling, yelling.

Nancy: So many meals are fast food, and even in the home, they’re not really from the very source. That’s where all the nutrition is. That’s what we are responsible for, as mothers, to be filling our husbands and our children with all this real nutrition.

Becca: Oh, totally. But think of the Lord’s heart work that He does on that point alone. If you're not raised that way, or if you don’t understand that, “No, that’s really my gift, that’s my offering, that’s how I can help my family.”

If you don’t understand that, self-pity is just waiting. Self-pity is such a jerk, just right there, and ready to say, “Poor you. You have to make dinner again!” That was always hard. I was like, “I just fed you guys last night. Doesn’t that count?” [laughter] No, it doesn’t. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner! They’re hungry, hungry, hungry! And your heart has to be . . .  the Lord has to transform your attitude. And He’ll do it on the basis of breakfast, lunch, and dinner!

Nancy: True! But sadly, there are many young mothers today who haven’t even grown up with that, so they don’t even really know how to go about it. I think having the right attitude about feeding our families is a very important foundation for a mother and a homemaker.

THE FOOD WE FEED OUR FAMILIES MUST NOURISH THEM

If we look upon getting meals as a bore, and a chore, it’s something we have to do, we’re really not caring about how we feed our family, we are not being who we are. As mothers, we are meant to be feeders. There are two main Greek words for food. They both mean “to nourish.” If the food we are feeding our families is not nourishing them, then it’s not food. It’s not even food, because FOOD MUST NOURISH.

That’s who we are, as mothers. We are nurturing and we are nourishing. We have to continually see ourselves as that. When every meal comes around, every meal is a new opportunity to nourish our family. It’s exciting! I have always, well, not always, it was quite a number of years ago . . .  when I watched that movie, “Babette’s Feast,” it’s an old movie. Have you seen it?

Becca: I have seen it, yes.

Nancy: I first watched it in black and white, with subtitles. You can now get it in color, and in English. But the story is amazing, about how one meal changed a community. I’ll never forget the words of this man who stood up at this meal. He said these words, “I knew a woman who knew HOW TO MAKE EVERY MEAL INTO A LOVE AFFAIR.”

I caught onto those words, and I’ve never forgotten them. That’s now my goal. Every meal I make, I want to make it a love affair, not only to nourish my children and whoever’s eating, but when we sit around the table . . . You see, food is far more than just the eating. It’s your dialogue, and communication, and you’re nourishing their souls. It's all nourishing. Nourishing the BODY, they’re nourishing the SOUL, and then, when you're at the table, you're opening the Word at the end of the meal. And you're nourishing your SPIRIT

Becca: Amen! You know, Nancy, that’s why you shine so bright! I feel like, who would say that out there? Really, truly, the whole word is saying, “Fast, easy, cheap! Just get it done. Move onto something more important.” There is a time every spring where I just hit soup fatigue. If I chop another onion . . . Then you know it’s time to get the grill out. The season’s changed, and everything, and it’s time to get outside.

But nobody is saying that. It’s so counter to our culture right now. And yet, we all listen to Nancy talk about soup and food, and nourishing, and something rises up in us that says, “Yes! You’re totally right!” And it takes time. The time is a sacrifice. But then, what are we gaining?

When I think of my children walking into a house that smells like garlic and onions, or if you decide to do a surprise desert, that’s exactly what I want my house to smell like. That’s exactly what I want my house to feel like.

I feel like the gift of the homemaker is to really make that house a home, that’s the paradigm shift right there. There are lots of houses out there. There’s lots of people out there. But are there homes that feel like a place of welcome?

I remember when I spoke, when I was here a couple of years ago, I was speaking at that homemaker conference. And I’d written my own definition of a homemaker, and it was “creating a place where my people want to be and where they know they can always find me.”

It was so grounding. It was like, well then, I’d better stay put. Then I’d better make this a place where it feels inviting. That has as much to do with attitude, and moods, as it does, like a candle, or keeping it clean. But it’s important. You speak of wives’ work. So encouraging.

Nancy: Tell me about your environment. How many acres do you have where you live?

Becca: We live on ten acres. We have sheep and pigs. We moved to our farm, I think now, 13 years ago, knowing nothing. We just bought it. We thought we’d get some chickens, and we’d grow a garden. It took us a lot of years to figure out how to grow a garden. Many weeds and figuring out how often we’d have to weed. That was actually part of gardening.

It has really transformed us, because it’s given us so much meaningful work as a family to do together. That’s really the start of our life change and Rory writing the book Durable Trades. He had a computer programming job, but we were doing this simultaneously. We were tapping our maple trees for the first time, and we got honeybees.

Every single day he had to leave his family to go and work at his computer at his quote, unquote, real job. He said it just became so obvious that the work that we were doing as a family together on the farm was the life-giving work. He knew all the codes that he was writing would be obsolete in three years, and he himself would be obsolete in three years if he didn’t re-up his know-how and everything. That kind of stuck with him for a year or two.

What would be the plan? What could a family still do together in this age? It was 2018 that he wrote that book. Then I was looking for a publisher for a whole year. I found a publisher just before the pandemic began. Suddenly, we’re in a crescendo of AI, and there’s an actual pandemic.

A SHARED VISION

In the book, it addresses what to do with inflation. And just kind of saying, what have we traded in our industrial base, where Dad goes here, and Mom goes here, and the children are always age-segregated all the time. Entertainment is age-segregated, school is age-segregated. Even churches are age-segregated. But how, in this day, in this culture, is it possible to bring the family back together? Is it possible for a husband and wife to find a shared vision? That was our book.

HOME AND GARDEN ARE SYNONYMOUS

Nancy: That’s so wonderful. Talking about the garden, where’s God in it? I think most people don’t really associate the fact that home and garden, well, there’s a magazine called “Homes and Garden,” isn’t there? But really, that’s a very biblical title because home and garden are synonymous.

If you go back to the beginning, because every truth begins in the beginning, which means it begins in Genesis, which is the beginning. What was the first home? A garden home. The Garden of Eden was the first home where God put the male and female He created.

When we disassociate the garden from a home, we haven’t got God’s idea.

God’s plan is a home and a garden to support and feed the family.

Now, of course, we can get away with it today with our supermarkets. We can, in fact, buy anything we want, in any season, from any country of the world. If we want it, we’ll find it. Actually, it’s not the way we’re meant to eat. We are meant to eat in season. In fact, I remember growing up in the days when we didn’t have deep freezers. We ate in season. What was in the garden, that’s what we ate. I remember eating, for three weeks in a row, just beans and pumpkin. That was all that was in the garden!

I remember my father who was a great man who loved to go out hunting for deer, and then when it was duck shooting season, he would go out. He was a great shot, and he would always be the first man out with his limit bag. You could get so many and then you had to stop. But in those days, well, he’d shoot all these ducks. We’d give them away, but we still had so many. So, we would eat duck every night for at least three weeks.

My mother, the first night, she would cook three ducks. One whole duck for my father, and then two for us. There were only three children, sadly. I only had two siblings growing up. I always thought I was deprived. [laughter] But the amazing thing is that when eventually deep freezers came into being, and we could put these ducks in the deep freeze and we could eat them throughout the year . . . do you know, it was never quite the same. There was nothing quite like that feast of ducks.

It was so interesting. But now, we just live a different way of life. Of course, we don’t even have to grow a garden, although, when you think about it, we really do, because you go to the supermarket. You go to buy this organic lettuce . . . your organic mixed greens, and you bring them home. And in two days, they’re starting to go soggy. You think, “How long have they been sitting there?” We’re not really getting the fullness of what we’re meant to eat.

Becca: Yes, I know. And I think of the garden as one of my very best child-training grounds. To get children out in the garden . . .  Is anyone really glad to be there? Not really. We’re there to weed. If you’re there to harvest, harvest is a joy. Harvest is fun. Planting is fun too. But we grow a very large garden. There’s a lot of hard work that’s done in the garden. Sticking with something, a work ethic.

Nancy: Well, I’ve noticed something this year. I don’t know. I’ve gardened. We came out here in 2000, so we’ve been here 25 years. I’ve grown a garden every year. The first year we came on this hilltop, it was just chert. It’s just stone. You can’t grow a thing. We had to buy in our dirt, and we put it in raised beds. That’s how we started.

From that, I have kept that soil going. I save every little bit I can for compost. We add manure, we add this, and we keep adding it, just supporting our soil. But all those years, I grew wonderful gardens. But, oh, I had so many weeds. Weeds, goodness me! I thought I was the most professional weed grower in the world! [laughter]

But then, last year, I had surgery and wasn’t able to do my garden, which was so sad to me. My daughter Evangeline, who really is a professional gardener, said, “Mom, I’ll do it for you.” Wow. The amazing thing is, there’s hardly a weed! And then this year, she said, “Mom, I’ll do the garden again,” because she loves to garden. And you’ll have to come and have a look before you go.

Becca: Oh, I can’t wait!

Nancy: It is the most glorious garden. You just have the say the word “glorious” over it. There are no weeds because she has learned how to get the soil in a way that somehow it grows the vegetables, and it doesn’t even grow the weeds!

Becca: Really!

Nancy: Oh, I don’t know how she does it.

Becca: Is she using a cover crop? We’re big into Back to Eden gardening

Nancy: I don’t even know what she’s doing,

Becca: Are there wood chips down? Is she putting a mulch down, or straw?

Nancy: It’s sort of a mulch. It’s better than what I used to do.

Becca: Oh, I can’t wait to go and see it!

Nancy: It is amazing!

Becca: I’ll say, in the garden, you're working on your own heart. This is a big patch of potatoes that needs to be weeded right now. But you're learning endurance and sticking with something. I always give my children a popsicle if they stick with me for an hour out in the garden. Then they get it. A carrot would be a healthy treat. I give them straight-up sugar with probably some food dyes in it.

But the fun of it is that we work that garden, and it’s hot in July. We feel it, and then we enjoy the reward under the shade tree. Everybody’s happy with a popsicle. But then the cool thing is, if you can and preserve, there comes a night in January where we pull down the carrots that we pressure canned. They’re feeding us, and we’ll all be freezing cold in Minnesota, and be thinking back to when we were sweating buckets in July, and how hard we were working. But now we’re feasting.

I feel like there’s a really . . . The garden ends up being this very slow-motion reward system in an instant culture where everything is like, you get your reward right now.

WORKING AND WAITING BUILDS CHARACTER

Nancy: That is great too, because it teaches our children that you don’t get things instantaneously. That is the concept now that so many children are growing up with. If they don’t have it right now, look out! We are meant to work for things and wait for things. Both are so important. Working and waiting are part of life. If we don’t understand that, we’re going to face a lot of problems.

Becca: Oh, yes! In fact, our family right now is in the season of waiting on the Lord. We keep saying, “Waiting.” He’s showing it all over in Scripture. Waiting is so much harder than “Go.” We’re doers. We’re movers. Like, “OK, tell us what to do! What’s the plan? We’re there.” Instead, Rick’s really working new muscles to wait.

Nancy: Even children are learning to wait for things. Today we live in such an affluent world. Children come to town with you, and they want something. It’s so cheap. “Oh, yes, that’s fine.” Even some little thing that they want right now, they don’t learn to wait for.

I remember growing up as a child. You didn’t get anything throughout the year. Christmas time! Woo ooh! It was like I could hardly bear it, that wait for Christmas time, when I knew I was going to get a gift! Oh, it was just too much. I could hardly bear it, that waiting. But what an amazing thing, that anticipation you went through, and that longing, and that waiting. Then just something simple was so amazing to you.

But many children have never even known that feeling of that incredible anticipation, and waiting, and longing. It’s quite an amazing thing. I think everybody needs to learn that, because how do you learn to wait for God, if you haven’t learned to wait on even the normal things of life?

Becca: Amen. Amen. I remember a woman came up to me in church one time. She said, “Teaching my children to obey my voice the first time is not because I want a more peaceful home, or because I want their obedience to me. But it’s because I want them to know when the Lord speaks to you, you obey the first time.”

Oh, that shook me to the core, because sometimes I think you think motherhood is all about obedience training, character training for the sake of you and their relationship. Oh, isn’t that a greater vision, that the actual training we’re doing of our children is so that you know how to connect with your Maker, and hear His voice, and wait on the Lord? I understand these things are hard. They are not in our natural disposition. We’re a very impatient, grumbly, just-let-me-have-my-way sense.

WE SHOW OUR HONOR TO GOD BY HONORING OUR PARENTS

Nancy: Oh, yes. That is so true. Yes. Obedience is training our children. That’s why even honor is so important. Why does God say: “Children, honor your parents”? It says: “Obey your parents.” And “Fear your mother and father.” It says to honor them.

In fact, those aren’t the only Scriptures. I have just done a study recently. I ended up with six pages of Scriptures about our attitude toward our parents. There is so much in the Word of God. Now, why does God want that honoring of parents? Because, in the same way we talked about obedience. Unless we learn to honor them, how will we truly honor God?

So, God gives us a practical thing, right in front of our face. If we can’t honor our parents, how can . . . We are really showing our honor to God by honoring our parents. There are some powerful Scriptures there. There are Scriptures in the Old Testament which are very scary. They say: “The one who curseth his mother and father shall be put to death.” Well, that’s Old Testament.

But you read that and think, “Oh, goodness! Nobody would curse their parents unless they’re really evil.” But do you know what that word literally means in the Hebrew? It means “to belittle, to think lightly of.” Oh, goodness me! God’s judgement is on those who even just look lightly upon their parents. Obedience is important to God and honor is important to God. All these things God gives us a family to where we teach these things.

Becca: It’s a genius plan. Only a genius God, right? I always think that about marriage. How could we most effectively slough off your slushy self? Well, put yourself with another person. Yoke up for the rest of your life, and you’ll start to see you're not quite as charming and darling as you thought you were. But it’s such a good idea. Well, then, you’ll have a friend who’s going to help you see this stuff that you can’t see yourself.

Nancy: It’s wonderful, isn’t it, to start the day off with the Lord. You just get away with the Lord, and you're in the Word. And you know His presence with you. He’s telling you these things as you read the Word, and it’s so wonderful.

But then, you leave your little place with the Lord, and come out, and suddenly there’s all these children, and a husband. Most of them saying the wrong thing, and everybody’s not doing what you want. It’s all overwhelming, and suddenly you don’t feel so perfect and wonderful! [laughter] Don’t you see, it’s learning to do it in the midst of the storm.

Becca: Amen. Amen.

Nancy: But it’s time to close this session. I must tell you a little thought. This is what I was meditating on this morning, so I’ll just tell you.

Becca: I’d love it.

CAN YOU KEEP YOUR SEAT?

Nancy: I think we’ll have to have another session. But I was reading 1 Peter 3:4, where it talks about how the thing that’s most precious to God is a “meek and quiet spirit.” Well, I’ve always been challenged by that, because I was never in the natural this very meek or quiet person at all. That’s not my personality.

But I was looking up the Greek for the word “quiet,” and really, it doesn’t mean that. It doesn’t mean that you're quiet, and you never say anything. No, the root of that word means “to keep your seat.” Now what this means is that on the inside you keep your seat. You stay seated when things all around you are in chaos, and you're agitated, or you're getting mad, or you want to fly off the handle! Instead of jumping up and giving into your flesh, you keep your seat. You stay calm in your spirit. Isn’t that incredible?

Becca: It is. It is.

Nancy: So, that is what God says is so precious to Him, because it can only happen in our hearts by the power of the Holy Spirit. It’s not in our own flesh. But I knew this before, and I was really looking at it again. I was being reminded of it, and I thought, “Yes, Lord, help me be always one who keeps my seat, no matter what is going on about or around me.” Amen?

Becca: Amen. What a word.

Nancy: Well, let’s close, shall we?

“Father, we do thank You for Your goodness to us and how Your heart is for mothers, how You want to come into our homes, manifest Your presence, and to be with us. We thank You. I pray, dear Father, that You will manifest Your presence to every mother and wife and homemaker who’s listening. Fill their homes with Your peace. Fill their hearts with Your peace. Lord, work in their spirits, that they will know that beautiful anointing of a tranquil spirit. I ask this, Lord God, in the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Becca: Amen.

Nancy: Amen.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

MAKE SURE OTHER WIVES AND MOTHRS ARE ENCOURAGED TOO.