FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Episode 84 - WHEN’S THE BEST TIME TO HAVE A BABY?

Rocky Barrett: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello ladies. I have Alison Hartman with me again today. It’s going to be so exciting to talk together.

(Daniel and Allison Hartman’s children are Makenna 21, Eden 17, Halle 15, Ethan 14, Asher 12 Levi 10, Emily Kate 8, Annalee 5, Solomon 4, Ezra 2 and baby girl coming in March 2020. And now Makenna is engaged to be  married to Josiah Crevier).

Before we get chatting, I just want to share a Scripture with you. Do you remember listening to my New Year’s podcast where I gave you a wonderful promise for this year?

It was Deuteronomy 11:12: “ . . . the eyes of the LORD thy God are always upon it . . ..” That’s talking about the children of Israel, but I believe that is a promise for us for our home.

It says that “ . . . the eyes of the Lord thy God are always upon it, from the beginning of the year even unto the end of the year.”

I just love that, don’t you?

But I’ve just been reading another Scripture that’s really challenged me, especially as we are going into this New Year. It’s found in Genesis 13:17. It is God speaking to Abraham, but of course that’s the literal word.

But the first thing we do when we read the Word of God is, we take it literally, but then we also take it personally. What is God saying to me personally? Listen to these words personally as I read them: “Arise, walk through the land in the length of it and in the breadth of it; for I will give it unto thee.”

God was saying to Abraham to go through the land. Walk through it. Walk through the length of it. Walk through all the breadth of it. I want you to know everything about this land because I am going to give it to you and to your descendants.

Of course that was the land of Israel which God gave to them and which belongs to Israel. It was given to them as an eternal and everlasting possession. Even though there are so many countries in the world that would like to take Israel off the Jewish people and they want to wipe them off the face of the earth, God has said that land belongs to them.

As we read this word personally, I believe God has given a land to us dear wives and mothers.

It is the land of His precious Word that’s filled with all the truth and all the promises and all the revelation of God’s plans for us. His purposes for us. His promises for us and what He has for us because of His great salvation

Our salvation is so much more than Jesus dying for our sins and through His incredible suffering and death upon the cross so that we can have forgiveness of sins. But it’s more than that. He died but He also rose again, and He now dwells within us and wants us to walk in victory. He wants us to be conquerors in His name. He shows us how to in His Word but most of us never walk through it. We just hang around the edges. We know a little bit. We hear God’s Word spoken at church. But do we ever really walk through the length of it? Do we walk through the breadth of it? Do we find out all that God has for us?

I think that’s a challenge. It is a challenge for us personally and as families. If we would together as a family walk through the land of God’s truth and revelation and not just know a wee little bit of it, but to discover it.

We go over to Joshua 18:1-10 and this is where the Israelites went into the land and conquered the Canaanites. They had conquered most of their enemies but there were still seven tribes who had not taken possession of the land. So Joshua said to them in verse 3: “ . . . How long are ye slack to go to possess the land, which the Lord God of your fathers hath given you?”

He said, “I’ve given it to you, but you’ve got to possess it!”

He told them, “I want you to pick out certain men and they shall arise and go through the land and describe it.” Joshua 18:8: “ . . . and Joshua charged them that went to describe the land, saying, Go and walk through the land, and describe it, and come again to me . . ..”

The men went through the land and described it by cities into seven parts in a book and came again to Joshua.

Hey, do you notice that in that little passage that the word “describe” is mentioned four times? What does it mean? Well first of all, I noticed that there are three things that Joshua told them to do in order to possess the land.

No. 1. THEY HAD TO ARISE

Once again, ladies, it comes back to that affirmation I love to say: “Things don’t just happen, you have to make them happen.”

Nothing happens unless we arise and do it. We have to get off our apathetic butts--now that’s being pretty raw, isn’t it—but it’s true!

We’re so apathetic. We just let things happen and if we just let things happen, they never happen. We’ve got to make them happen.

We have to arise personally and as families, getting our families together each day and say, “Okay, we’re going to walk through a little bit more of the land today, children. We’re going to discover more of what God has for us.”

You see, when you’re having that time in your family life where you’re gathering your family to read the Word to them, you don’t just say, “Okay children, time to read the Bible now.”

That can sound so boring, can’t it?

No, you’ve got to let them know what you’re actually doing! You’re going to say, “Hey, children, come! We’re going to gather together and we’re going to find out a little bit more of the land today! We’re going to walk through a little bit more and find out what God has for us.”

We can never ever walk in what we don’t know. If we don’t know what we’ve got, even though God has given it to us, we can’t walk in it.

Let me tell you a little story! A dear friend of mine was looking after Above Rubies in the UK for many years. She is a New Zealander as I was originally. I still am but I am also a US citizen now too.

She said her brother who still lived in New Zealand bought some land. He bought over ten acres and he was hoping that it would be something that would help provide for his family. But somehow the land really wasn’t good enough, but he used it as a hobby land.

The years went by and his family grew up. He thought, “Oh well, I think I’ll sell this land. It never really was able to give me what I bought it for.” When the time came to sell his land, he found he had ten acres that he didn’t know about. He didn’t know it was part of the land he bought. Those ten acres were so fertile and could have been the provision for their family.

The neighbor was working the ten acres and so he went to this neighbor and he said, “That was my land!”

His neighbor said, “Well you never came and told me, so I just kept working it.”

Because he didn’t know, he missed out!

Dear ladies, that’s like a lot of us, isn’t it? We don’t know and we’re ignorant of what God has given us. That’s why we have got to walk through the land, the length of it and the breadth of it.

No. 2. THEY HAD TO ARISE AND WALK

Yes, they had to actually walk through it.

No. 3. THEY HAD TO DESCRIBE IT

Now that word in the Hebrew means: “to write about it.” They had to write. They had to go with their book, and they had to check out all the hills and valleys and mountains and plains.

They had to check out all the good parts and all the challenging parts. They had to check out every aspect of the land and they had to write it down in a book and bring it back to Joshua.

That’s what they did. I think that’s a very good thing for us to do to, to write down what God says to us.

I love to do that personally. When I have my own time in the Word of God, I have my journal beside me, and I always write what God says to me.

As I’m walking through the land, I don’t just keep to my favorite parts. We’ve got to walk through every bit of the land, ladies. That reminds me of one time when Colin and I were staying with a family in Holland when we were ministering there. We arrived off the boat because we had come from England on the boat this time. We usually fly.

We got off and we had breakfast with this family. They had all their little children around them, and they were reading through the Word of God.

They started in Genesis and they were up to this chapter and I couldn’t believe it because it was all the “begets.” I have to confess; I would have passed over the begets. I would have thought, “Oh goodness, my children couldn’t stand that.” I’m sure I would have left out the begets. I might gloss over them in my personal reading although I have to confess that sometimes I completely leave them out.

One time someone said to me, “Now if you’re name was there, you’d read it every day.”

But anyway, I couldn’t believe it: this family went through all the begets with their little children, with their three and five and seven-year-olds. They were sitting there listening to the begets; but they weren’t missing out on one part of the land.

In my personal time I always like to write.

Do you know what? That word “describe” is the same word that is used when God wrote the Ten Commandments and it says: “They were written by the finger of God.” The same word used of God writing.

I’ve just been doing a study recently about all the books that God has, and all the things God writes. It’s unbelievable! The only problem is that my book that I was writing it all out so I could complete the study— I’ve lost it. Oh, I’m so sad. I’ll have to do it all again.

But it is amazing. It’s just amazing all the books God has. He writes everything that we do. Goodness! He writes the whole story of our lives written in a book. I think Heaven is going to be filled with books!

Today in our social media age, people hardly write. They just do a little message through text. We’re even forgetting how to write, aren’t we?

Even if you don’t write anything else, at least write what God shows you as you’re walking through the land of His Word.

Can you take that challenge this year for you personally or as a family? That you’re going to really walk through that land— the length of it and the breadth of it so you will be a family that is not estranged to the Word of God and all His truths but you’re familiar with it and your children are familiar with it. Amen?

Okay, now Alison’s here and I’m talking too much because she’s got so much to say!

Now last week we were talking about all the things that can hinder us in our families of being together. What about what’s happening at the moment? Here you are, you’re pregnant with baby number eleven and this baby is going to be born in your busiest time in your family business. Your baby will only be about three weeks old when you’re going to be running this big family camp.

How are you going to do it? Did you plan it? Or did God plan it?

Alison Hartman: Definitely not. I’m 45 years old so it definitely was not a planned thing. It’s interesting, what you were just saying related to what I was thinking about.

Just yesterday you were saying that there’s never a convenient time to get married and there’s never a convenient time to have a baby. I think all of us can talk ourselves out of a baby very often as in our marriage it’s never really convenient.

We often joke that all our babies are all in January and February because that’s our slow season. This is the middle of March, which again is our big money season and our busiest season with Easter pictures.

We’re going to have to be creative on how we do it but thankfully we’ve gotten to where my big children are almost to where they can take it and run and I can kind of sit back and do some behind the scenes. If we weren’t in that position, I don’t know what we’d do; but again it’s who are we asking for advice?

A couple years ago I shared this story with you, and I thought about it just now. I was reading a post that someone had made on Facebook. I didn’t know this person well, she was a past customer of ours, but it caught my attention. She was young; she might have been in her late twenties or early thirties.

She said, “When does everyone think I should get fixed?  How and when should I get myself fixed from having children?”

NC: Fixed or broken?

AH: Broken in my opinion.

First of all, my thought was, is she asking Facebook. She doesn’t even know all of these people. Some she did, obviously. Any way, it was a day-old post and when I finally read it there was over 190 responses.

One hundred percent of them were telling her to do it this way or that way. Not one of them had encouraged her to maybe consider not.

I read the post out loud and I shared it with Daniel. He really isn’t into Facebook, but he said, “You have to make a comment. You have to say something.”

I said, “I’m not going there, no way! Not against 190 other people.”

He said, “Just write www.aboverubies.org and that’s it. Just write Nancy’s website.”

It ended up we fought all the way home about this, and I said, “I can’t do this” and he said, “No, no, no, you’ve got to do this.”

So I ended up saying something to this young girl. I said, “You don’t know me, I don’t know you that well, but I want to encourage you that maybe you aren’t to stop having children. Maybe you are to consider another alternative of maybe letting God choose the size of your family.”

I got a couple backlashes from friends of hers.

Interestingly enough, this young girl messaged me privately and shared how touching my response was. It’s going to make me cry because she said she stayed up all night on your website. She had never heard of Above Rubies.

What is interesting is she said to me, “You know, I am a Christian and I never considered what does God think about me getting fixed.”

I thought, “Wow!”

And it’s so true. Goodness, I wish I had a dollar for every person who says, “What! You’re pregnant at 45 with your eleventh baby! Why would you do that to yourself?”

I was sitting here thinking of why?

At the bottom of my email it says: “Children are a blessing. Debt is a curse. But in our society, we apply for curses and we reject blessings.”

We personally are not in debt and we don’t live in debt.

In the same way, we feel very strongly that if children are a blessing then who are we to decide what age they’re a blessing. Are they only a blessing when we’re in our twenties or in our thirties or when our doctor says they are?

If the Author of life is God then why are we asking Facebook, mothers-in-laws, friends, acquaintances, and total strangers what they think as far as what we should do concerning our age of fertility?

Thankfully, we found out about your ministry years ago in our marriage and it switched our mindset from “We’re going to have 3.2 children or whatever” to “We’re going to have as many children as God gives us.”

Now that may be three. That may be five. That may be none. But it wouldn’t be me that’s going to make the decision.

That takes a lot of pressure off your marriage.

It’s just so neat to see the blessing of your 13-year-old boy holding a baby on his hip , it’s the coolest thing.

Seeing my 10-year-old boy put my two-year-old on his shoulders and running him around the yard.

Seeing my 21-year-old loving on my one-year-old in a way that she will be doing very soon. It’s so special.

I grew up in a decent sized family of six children, but I wouldn’t say I was prepared for motherhood whereas I really believe my girls are.

People say, “Well what do you mean you’re leaving your children to go to Israel?”

But my 15-year-old I would believe is as capable as most mothers today. She’s changed just about as many diapers. She’s dealt with issues and discipline.

Then you get critical people who say, “Oh a teenager should never have that responsibility.”

Well why? What are we raising them to be? Are we raising them to be children or are we raising adults?

NC: Exactly ,and when you think about it, we’ve just been celebrating the most amazing event in the history of the world when a young teenage girl became pregnant by the power and overshadowing of the Holy Ghost.

She was probably no more than fifteen and God believed that she was mature and ready to not only carry the Son of God in her womb but also bring forth and nurture this child.

We don’t think like we’re meant to really think, do we?

AH: You know, if we really waited around for the perfect time, we would have stopped a long time ago because there’s nothing easy and convenient about having a baby in your forties.

NC: I remember reading that statement when I was a young mother and thinking, “How true. There is just never a convenient time to have a baby.”

Maybe you’re listening to that verse and you know you’d like to have another baby, but oh goodness me this is happening in your situation.

I know you think, “Oh wow, we better wait.”

But listen, God knows so much better than we do and He’s the One Who has the most perfect timing. Just leave it with God because you think there will never be a convenient time.

But it’s amazing, because you conceive and you think, “Oh help! How are we going to fit this baby in!” but you always do. The baby always fits in and it’s always perfect.

As you mentioned, I had just thought about it yesterday that it’s true with babies, but you know that can be true with marriages too.

There is often not a convenient time to get married, although you’re going to want to get married. But we see today so many of them waiting till they’ve got this together and that together and they think, “Oh we better wait for this time because it will work out better then.”

So they arrange their marriage all around situations and circumstances when really, it’s a bit like having a baby. When God brings a couple together and you know its God (I’m not just talking about any situation), you know it’s God and the parents know its God, why wait around?

When we go back to Biblical times, they didn’t do that. They didn’t do what’s even happening in the Christian church today where couples will wait and wait and wait and what for? They’ve got to finish their college degree. They’ve got to finish that, do that, and wait for that.

No, that’s not how it’s meant to be. If God brings you together, He brings you together to be married.

Two are better than one. Two are more powerful than one. Can you imagine? What you accomplish as a husband and a wife and a family is so much more powerful than just on your own.

We all find that the power in a marriage and a family is how God intends it. This is how we take dominion of the world for Him to bring His revelation and the image of God into the world.

AH: That’s right. I think our culture is very big on speaking to women to have, especially in our later years, our forties, to have “me”-time.

You hear a lot about “me”-time and having relationships with other women whose children are about half grown.

I’m seeing a huge trend in this and I try to be careful because I think to have girls as friends is wonderful. It’s great to have good girl friends but I’m also seeing a trend in divorces later in marriage.

I really think there is a connection there between “me”-time and hanging out with other girls, not with other married couples. Maybe the conversation goes to being negative towards their husband.

I can’t even imagine right now having “me”-time because I am just so absorbed with my family. I think that having idle hands isn’t a good thing. It’s very clear in the Bible.

Being busy and being busy with your family and being pregnant and that kind of thing is almost like it’s saved me from a lot of what I’m seeing. I just recently had someone contact me. The wife is being unfaithful to him and they’ve been married about as long as we have.

I was thinking, “How could this happen?”

Well, she has two children that they had early in their marriage and she basically has spent the latter part in their marriage focusing on herself. She takes care of herself and her body. Again, I think there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. We shouldn’t be walking around looking frumpy and say, “Well all I care about is my family.”

You can have both. You can look nice and you have can have a nice-looking house and not be self-absorbed.

NC: That is so true.

You said before about how people ask Facebook questions. There is another question that I saw coming up on Facebook from a girl that I know very well, and she asked Facebook. Like you said, they don’t know who they really are asking because they have so many friends on Facebook.

She asked, “Now what do you think: is it okay to have a friend of the opposite sex apart from your husband?”

Well, goodness me, when I read that all my red flags went up and I was ready to write, and I did. I really laid down the riot axe and said, “No! You cannot do that!”

But just about every other reply was, “Oh yes, that’s fine. You can do that.”

No you cannot. It does not work.

I find that Colin’s and my friendships are with other couples and other families. It’s just so rich and so wonderful. There may be the odd time where I go out with other ladies; but really it is not as satisfying because we’re in a different realm now.

These women have to have their “ladies’ nights out” and their weekends away with their lady friends, I think, what is wrong with their marriage? Isn’t it more exciting to be at home with your husband? Oh goodness me, and when they are doing that, as you say, often someone who has negativity about their marriage will say something.

I have always found that when someone says a negative word about something or maybe about their husband or about some situation or some person, do you know what happens? That negativity builds. You will find that someone else will think of a negative thing about their husband. Then someone else does and the whole conversation goes spiraling down negatively.

It’s just something that happens whereas if you say something positive you will find that people will think of a positive thing to say.

AH: That is so true because we want to encourage one way or the other.

NC: Yes and it does happen that way. I’ve had to learn myself: “Oh shut your mouth, Nancy!”

If you can’t say anything positive, don’t say anything at all because one negative goes from another to another to another and the opposite happens in the positive. This happens, I think, with some of the ladies’ nights out. It can go to the negativity about marriages.

Once again, every decision we make we must think: Will this build my marriage? Will it make my marriage stronger or will it weaken my marriage?

We choose to do what will build our marriage, don’t we?

AH: It’s so true and I think we’re careful about who our children play with, but sometimes I think we’re not so careful of who we hang out with.  I think that’s why it is so important that we be careful who we hang out with.

That’s why we would like to invite everybody to the family camp because even though it is only a weeklong, those friendships that you will make will last for years.

It is so helpful in our marriages and in our family life to have other friends who will say, “I think it’s awesome that you’re pregnant at 45!” That’s encouraging instead of hearing, “Oh my goodness, what are you thinking?”

NC: Tell me, you’re in your mid-forties and how is this pregnancy in your mid-forties compared to your other pregnancies when you were younger?

AH: I honestly, and I’m not just saying this, because you and I haven’t rehearsed this at all, but it’s probably been the easiest. It’s honestly because I have so much help, I really do.

We were talking with your guests here at your house that as our girls get older, it’s kind of embarrassing to say how little amount of cooking and cleaning I do.

I don’t ever use my dishwasher or my laundry room because my girls really have taken over so much of that willingly and happily. Then they delegate. My oldest is very much a delegator.

NC: She’s an organizer like you are.

AH: Yes, yes. But they take care of me. They make sure I’m not doing too much. They really spoil me whereas when you’re young and pregnant and you just have toddlers running around, it’s trying. It’s hard.

So many people quit during the tough times and they don’t reap the benefits.

It’s so neat, my oldest was delivered in the hospital, but she helped deliver the last couple of babies. You can’t appreciate and enjoy that experience if you quit having children in your early thirties.

NC: I think that is so true. I think that so many young mothers, oh dear precious young mothers, if you are in that time with maybe two or three little ones around you and no help, this is the most challenging and overwhelming time of motherhood. Of course even in that time, God is with you and He helps you through it.

I look back to when I had three under 17 months and then four under four; they were the most challenging times. But oh wow, I would do them all again. They were so amazing, too.

Many mothers think, if I keep having children it’s just going to get harder and harder. No!

AH: They don’t stay that little.

NC: No, they grow up!

Often this question comes up at Above Rubies retreats. You know, “What about older mothers having children?”

I say, “Okay, let’s find out from the mothers. Hands up those who have had babies or are having babies in their forties.”

It’s amazing how many will stand up and I will say, “Okay, come and share your testimonies.”

The testimonies are the same as you have shared right now that their best births and their best pregnancies are in their forties. God just puts that beautiful specialness upon older mothers. Plus you have all of the help; your children are grown.

You can sit in the rocking chair while they serve you and look after you. You’re the queen. It’s just so amazing.

AH: If you’ve done it right and you’ve kept your family intact.

I’ve had people say to me, “Well my children would never stay and help me. They’re off with their friends.”

Well then, you’ve got to back up and you’ve got to make sure you have trained them where they want to serve you and it’s not begrudging and they grunt and say, “Oh, I’ve got to get Mom coffee. I just got myself coffee.”

No, they want to. My 15-year-old is just so sweet. She brings me coffee every day and you can tell she looks forward to bringing me coffee. We bought her a fancy coffee maker and she loves to make these coffees.

NC: She’s already been serving everyone here!

AH: Yes, she brought it all the way here!

NC: Yes, she’s just amazing.

I should just say while we are on this point, how that we are, as females, mothers in our childbearing years until we reach menopause. Some reach it earlier than others. The statistics are that many women are infertile by the time they are 45 but some will continue until they are 50.

You think, “Help! Can I have babies till then?” Well yes. We are meant to. If God intended us to stop having babies at 35, He would have caused us to go through menopause then.

But He planned the time. He gives that special anointing to those who are in their forties and as you say, if you train your children right, they are going to be waiting on you and blessing you.

Then you’ve got so many hands who are wanting this baby when the baby is born! Goodness me, you have to nurse your baby, or you’ll never hold your baby because all the family is just besotted with these new babies that come in. It’s just so glorious and it’s how God intended it.

The other thing is, is that now you are getting to the end of that time and you maybe, you may not have another baby; but then your oldest daughter now has a young man and she will be getting married. Then her babies will come along. There are always babies. There is never is never meant to be that empty nest syndrome. That has not ever been in God’s intention.

God’s ways are so beautiful, aren’t they?

AH: And when people will say to us, “Oh the more you have the less time you have and the less love you have to give them.” It’s so, so false.

NC: Some women can only have two children but some women choose to only have two children so they can give them quality time. It actually doesn’t work like that because when you only have two children, well, what are you going to do with your life when they’re grown up? You’ll get bored and go to work and then you end up having less time with them and they become more independent.

But I see these babies that come into big families and every member of the family is besotted with this new baby. They are not only getting the attention from the parents but from all the children in the family. The first and second children can never ever get the attention that these younger babies have. They are overloaded with attention!

It’s amazing, isn’t it?

AH: It’s so true. It’s so true.

NC: Any way, I think we are over time again so let’s pray.

I hope that you have enjoyed us chatting with you today. Let’s think about coming to the family retreat in Florida in April. Check it out on the Above Rubies website: www.aboverubies.org

“Dear Father, We thank You that we can talk about these beautiful things of motherhood and the way You have planned for us to live. It’s so glorious and so beautiful and so amazing.

“Oh Lord, I pray that You will bless each wife and mother and their husbands and their families.

I pray, Lord, that You will strengthen their families and that this year their families will become stronger together.

“Help them to t make it a commitment to gather their families and to daily walk through a little bit more of the land, the glorious land of revelation and truth that You have given to us so that we would not be ignorant people of Your ways, but we will know what You have given to us and that we will possess it. Lord, I ask that we would all be possessors of the land in the name of Jesus. Amen.”

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Episode 83 - HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR FAMILY TOGETHER?

Rocky Barrett: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello dear wives and mothers. Here I am with you again and today I have a guest with me. Well, she’s not a guest. She is one of my wonderful friends, Alison Hartman. Alison was on my podcast way back, about 18 months ago and here they are staying with us again.

In fact they’ve stayed with us since then, but we never got together to do a podcast, did we? But today we’re going to do another podcast together!

Alison and her husband, Daniel, and the family are all here because on Monday they are going off to Israel with Sam and Serene. They had planned to take their two oldest daughters to Israel.

When Sam and Serene heard that they were doing that they said, “Oh we’re going to come with you, and we’ll take our two oldest daughters” because the girls are all about the same age. You’re all going to have such an amazing time.

You’re going to be staying in Jerusalem, aren’t you, and then you’ll be going out from there.

Alison Hartman: Yep.

NC: So wonderful. Well anyway, for those of you who don’t know Alison, Alison is the mother of ten children soon to have number eleven. In fact in March they will be having their eleventh baby.

Let me give you the names of her children. Don’t you love names? I love hearing the names of children, don’t you?

When we get new people coming on the Internet to get Above Rubies for the first time, there is a place for them to put their husband’s name and children’s names if they would like to do that.

Oh, I love it! I will say to my Above Rubies helpers as they are entering the names and doing the magazine for the new person, “Tell me any interesting names because I love to hear them!”

The Hartman children start with Makenna and she is the most amazing girl. How old is she now?

AH: Twenty-one.

NC: Twenty-one now? Oh she is amazing, and she has a lovely young man. God has been so good to bring them together.

Then there is Eden, Halle, Ethan, Asher, Levi, Emily Kate, Anna Lee, Solomon and Ezra.

They are just taking the two oldest girls, so their boys are all going to be staying over at the Allison’s. Those boys are going to be all looking after them selves. I can’t imagine what it will be like!

Even yesterday the boys shot a rabbit. They said the three of them shot it, but I don’t know which one actually did. Anyway, they’re going to have fun together.

I will have all of the Allison girls and the Hartman younger girls here so that will be wonderful. They all just love each other so they will have the most wonderful, wonderful time.

Alison and her husband Daniel have put on Above Rubies family retreats down in Panama City, Florida. This retreat is just the best that you could ever attend. You don’t have to live in Florida because families come from all over the country because they can get to the beach. It’s right on the beach.

It’s so wonderful. It’s in April so if you are up in the colder states and you just want to get some sun before it get’s to you, come down to that retreat.

Make a note of it. Have you got some pen and paper? This year the retreat is the 23rd to the 26th of April.

That’s the weekend, the main part of the retreat. But this retreat has become so popular that some of the families want to come for the whole week just to hang out together. So from Wednesday to Wednesday the 22nd to the 29th you can choose to come for the whole week and just hang out with other wonderful families and at the beach.

Then you are there for the main weekend. Some will just come for the weekend. You have your choice to do whichever you would like.

But you’ve just got to start planning to come. It’s so cool. Alison is the most amazing organizer and she just runs such a great retreat. It’s going to be so cool.

AH: It’s so fun.

NC: What have you got to say about it, Alison?

AH: I completely agree, it is the highlight of our family’s year. We look forward to it and it’s our vacation. Really, if you can agree with me, I think it’s almost become like a youth reunion. All these young people have come together.

NC: Oh yes, we have so many young people. Oh goodness me, when I saw all the young people getting together, I think that there were more young people than there were adults.

AH: I think so. They have so much fun. They don’t do a lot of sleeping. They stay up! But they have so much fun and they’re not just playing volleyball and swimming in the ocean, but they encourage each other and you’re seeing little clusters of them praying for each other.

NC: They go down to the beach praying together at night.

So how many volleyball courts are there?

AH: Oh goodness, probably eight? There’s a lot. We do competitive volleyball tournaments.

NC: Yes, yes, it’s so cool.

In fact, when I was growing up my parents also attended a Christian family camp once a year. It was the highlight of our lives growing up. I can just remember waiting for that camp to get together.

Of course you met people, you would get to know people, and that’s what’s happened with the young people. They have just got to know one another. Like your children are now best friends with all of our grandchildren here and other families.

AH: It’s just so encouraging to find other families that are like-minded because at home most of us don’t have that.

There might be a few families at church you can relate to, but these young people have become friends that my girls will be in their wedding one day. They’re going to be friends for life.

It is the same with me. I have met close friends that I will forever be tight with.

NC: Oh yes, it is so wonderful.

Colin and I, we actually met at this camp(in New Zealand) that we went to every year. So I am a great believer in camps being a great place for young people to find one another because it’s not easy to find a godly wife or a godly husband.

So for young people to come amongst families of kindred spirits, I mean, you know, you just see whatever God does or if He doesn’t, there is just that opportunity. It’s so beautiful.

AH: I think that we’ve had families come from as far away as New Zealand and Canada. Each of them has said, “It might not be next year because of money but we will be back.”

I think there’s just not anything you can do for your family as far as better use of time and money than getting together with twenty to forty other families that you’re really going to connect with and stay in contact with for years to come.

NC: Yes, so anyway, if you’re interested and want to find out more just, go to the Above Rubies website, aboverubies.org and check it out.

You’ll be able to find Alison’s phone number and give her a call or whatever. We just hope you can come! It would be so neat!

AH: They always book up. We have some openings now but every year we’ve filled it up.

NC: So that’s going to be exciting! While you’re here with us, Alison, let me ask you a question. You’re coming up to eleven children. How do you keep eleven children together from all these varying ages, Makenna, 21, right down to the little ones? How do you keep family togetherness? What do you do in your family?

AH: I think that’s just such an important thing, especially even if you have one or two children.

In today’s world it seems like every activity is created to divide the family, whether it’s church, whether it’s meals, whether it’s sports activities. I t see so many families, maybe not even intentionally, but they are just dividing.

Thankfully my husband is very particular about keeping us together. It’s so neat to see the younger ones being loved on by the older ones.

One thing, of course we do, is we have a family business. We literally live together, work together, play together. We’re blessed by the fact that our business has grown that we actually need all hands-on deck when we do our photography business.

When we’re in the middle of our busy season, which would be spring for us. Spring pictures we do live animals and then Christmas. Then we do about forty public and private schools that we have contracts with. So when we’re doing pictures, we literally can’t do it without a crew.

Well, as the girls have gotten older, we have not needed to hire out of family a whole lot. We can pretty much do Christmas and Easter season in house, meaning within our house.

NC: Amazing. Except now you’ve brought Makenna’s young man. He is a blessing, too!

AH: Yes, he is a blessing! He’s going to be even more of a blessing because I’ll have a baby in the middle of our busiest Easter season. For us, we’re about the only photographer in our area that does four different live animals for Easter so we will do about four hundred different photo shoots for about four hundred families.

Well, it’s impossible for me with a newborn to do it all so we’ll definitely need Josiah’s help.

But I get so many compliments on my girls with people saying, “Wow, they do great without you!” which is to me the goal, to clone yourself in your older girls where you can almost let them run it.

But going back to keeping us a unit, we used to go to a big mega church. I felt like every time we’d walk in the door it was like all these signs that were basically separating our family.

“Baby’s go here,” “Toddlers go here,” “Young people go here,” and “Teenagers go here.”

It just didn’t feel right. I know it works for some people but sadly I think most people do it because that’s what they think everybody should do.

NC: I think that sadly most of us become the victims of what everybody else does.

INTENTIONAL IS THE WORD!

AH: Yeah. I think we have to become, go-against-the-flow, kind of moms. You have to be INTENTIONAL about keeping your family together.

IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN ACCIDENTLY.
YOU HAVE TO DELIBERATELY SET UP A SYSTEM IN YOUR HOME
WHERE YOU DON’T GET PULLED APART!

We even have friends who have a big family and they say, “Goodness, it just seems like everybody’s in their own room on their device or with a different friend” or whatever.

Of course, that does happen, but I think as mothers and fathers we have to be deliberate about not letting it happen on a regular basis.

NC: I believe it. I think as you said that word there: INTENTIONAL. You have to be intentional.

We as mothers have such power in the family. Of course I think you know that one of my favorite affirmations is: “Things don’t just happen; you have to make them happen.”

If we just let our family go with the flow and what’s happening and even what’s happening amongst the Christian families, it will just sort of weaken.

Another one of my affirmations (I am thinking of affirmations because I believe affirmations are so powerful) is: When you have to make decisions about something for your family, this is what I say to ask yourself: “Will it weaken the family?”

“IF IT’S GOING TO WEAKEN THE FAMILY, DON’T DO IT.
BUT IF IT WILL STRENGTHEN THE FAMILY AND
KEEP IT TOGETHER, GO FOR IT!”

That’s how we determine what we will do. It’s a very easy decision. Is this going to cause our family to go in all different directions and weaken us as a family unit? Or, is it going to keep us together and strengthen it?

So you do what’s going to strengthen it. If it’s going to weaken it, forget it, even if it is what everybody else is doing.

Are we just going to be mothers who are victims?

Today so many of our young people are victims to society but we as parents become victims. We are victims to just what everybody else is doing. I believe we need to rise up as mothers of strength and purpose and vision and know what we want for our families and make it happen.

AH: Right.

NC: We do that which is going to keep them together, strengthen and build it. Amen?

AH: I think so many moms lately want to befriend their children, which there is nothing wrong with wanting to be friends with our children. My girls and I are the best of friends. But I try not to make decisions based on whether they’re going to like me.

You and I have talked a lot about cell phones and Internet and social media. I really think that’s one of the biggest problems in our families today and not just in public school or un-churched homes.

I’m talking Christian homes and Christian school young people are literally having their identity become what people think of them in social media. Their communication, their interaction, their relationships are completely based on their device. They have friends with people that the really don’t know. They are just “friends” with them.

I have a brother whose asking me, “What do you think about a cell phone?”

To me, I thought his children were too young. He opted for a flip-phone, which I was quite impressed because you can be a little more careful with your children with an old-school flip phone.

Like you and I were saying, even as adults I think it’s hard to have self-control with a cell phone and a smart phone and so how can we expect our little ones to not have self-control if we aren’t?

I’ve seen them in these public schools we do photo shoots at. They are in the second grade and walking around with a $900 smart phone.

NC: Truly? Are they allowed to do that in public schools?

AH: A lot of them. The teachers can’t say anything. It just depends on the state and it seems like the county we’re in depends on the school.

I’ll even say, “Wow, you guys are allowed to have your phones out?”

They’ll say, “Oh my teachers don’t care.”

NC: Really? So how do they even teach them when they’re most probably looking at their phones?

AH: They do it in the name of . . . “Oh it’s safety to be able to get a hold of your parents.”

But what did we do growing up? We went to the office and called our parents if we needed them. It wasn’t this unlimited access to the Internet.

You go to a restaurant and see this family of however many or even a couple. Almost eight out of ten of them are primarily on their phones, separated from each other. They may look like they are together, but they are all doing different things.

NC: They are completely separated.

AH: Again, it’s something that I struggle with and so I can’t imagine if I gave my 13-year-old boy a cell phone.

NC: How do you do it in your family?

AH: My 21-year old obviously has a phone but I completely trust her integrity.

My 17-year-old has a phone.

I have a rule that if I say, “Hand me your phone” they have to hand it to me at any moment and I have to check everything.

My 15-year-old and under do not have one and in our circle of friends that’s even unusual that they don’t have one. Every now and then we’ll run into a family that says ”My teenagers don’t have one either” and it’s like, “Yes, yes! We’re the same way!”

One thing that influenced me a lot in this area was we went to a conference a couple of years ago and Josh McDowell, who is a well known speaker and author, said that he speaks all over the world and parents ask him a very common question.

They will say, “At what age, Josh, should I get my child a smart phone?” and they’re genuinely asking.

His answer to them is, “As soon as you’re ready for them to be looking at pornography.”

So if you’re ready for your eight-year-old to be looking at pornography, then get them a smart phone because that’s most likely what’s going to happen. They may not even mean to.

I remember we were researching something about weight boarding because we were looking at some equipment to buy for our boat and pornography popped up just by typing in something water sport related.

It was amazing. We were like, “Whoa! This is awful!”

Thankfully, we were sitting by the computer and were able to turn it off quickly but a 10 or 13-year-old, they don’t have the good judgment yet.

Even good children that you’re trying to raise well, I can’t see them making a good decision. I can’t even see 13- year-old making a good decision and thinking, “Hmm, --this is probably not what I need to be looking at.”

Maybe they would but why take that chance?

So my answer would be never.

NC: You need to have some maturity.

I have here Chalice, my beautiful granddaughter who is recording for us at the moment.

You’ve only recently gotten an iPhone, haven’t you? How recently did you get your iPhone? You just used the family one before that didn’t you?

Chalice Allison: Five months ago.

NC: Yes. So here she is, twenty-year-old girl . . .

CA: Nineteen.

NC: Nineteen, just coming up on twenty years old and she’s just got her own.

CA: I didn’t want one.

NC: And you didn’t even want it! Yes. I actually can remember about six years ago when Colin and I were ministering in the UK taking meetings there.

We went to each United Kingdom country and we took Chally with us. She was only 14 then. It was such a delight to have her with us.

One day I was sitting on the bed, preparing for a message and I was going to talk about social media. I remember, but you may not remember, Chally, but I said to you, “Now Chalice, you’ve got your iPad for your school work there and you know, what would you do if something came up that was bad? What have your parents said to do?”

I’ll never forget her response. It just came out of her. She didn’t think. She just said, “Oh Nana, I would vomit! I would be horrified!”

I thought that was so amazing because it was as though she had something there inside her. It wasn’t that she had something there from the outside; it was in her, that she would be repulsed.

I think our children have got to get that. A lot of parents will put perimeters on their iPhones and stuff for their children and that’s good. But the most powerful protection is what they have on the inside.

I think that comes from us as parents because the Bible talks about abhorring that which is evil and loving that which is good (Romans 12:9).

We have to have that attitude as parents. There is something about us that abhors evil. We don’t just tolerate it and say, “Well that’s not very good.”

No, when there is evil or we hear about something that is obnoxious and abominable to God we will state it and say, “Yes, God hates that! It’s a slap in the face to God! We don’t want anything to do with that!”

We are adamant and we are passionate about hating evil.

I think somehow our children can get that in their spirits. Inside there is a hate for evil. As Chalice said as a young girl then, “Oh, I would vomit!”

I think that’s important. It’s sad to say that I don’t even see that a lot in the general sort of Christian young people today. They don’t seem to have that. They’re caught up in the world.

There has to be something if so many have iPhones (and so many have them) that they know how to use them, but as you were saying, even us as adults . . . Now I know myself. I am so passionate for the Word of God. I love the Word. I live in the Word. I love to have my Bible and read it.

I also read it on my iPhone because I have my Strong’s Concordance app, which I love because I can look up any word in the Hebrew and Greek. I am using it all the time.

But when I first wake in the morning, what do I do? I have to make this happen. When I first turn my iPhone on, I have to go to the Word. Now, there are so many temptations because, “Ding, ding, ding!”

These crazy messages come in and I think, “Boy, I better check that message.”

Do you know, it takes all my self-control to say, “NO. I’m going to have the Word first”?

AH: That’s so good.

NC: Now, okay, that comes from maturity and from my absolute passionate love for the Word. What about the young people who have not got that maturity yet?

They can say, “Oh well, I’ll read the Bible on my iPhone.”

They go to read it and, “Ding, ding, ding!” Messages and this and that are coming from everywhere and they are just going to be pulled apart.

Today, goodness me, we just somehow let things take over, don’t we?

I hate it how everybody brings their iPhones to church to read their Bibles now, because I know that they’re not all reading their Bibles.

Usually I’m sitting in the front seat because I’m a front-seater. I believe in being in the front because you sit at the back and you’re just looking around.

But on the odd occasion where I come in late and I’m sitting in the back I will do some observing.

Oh my. It’s horrific. I see people and they haven’t got the Word open. They are looking at messages, looking at Facebook, looking at all their stuff IN CHURCH!

It is abominable. I just wish we could get back to everybody bringing their Bibles. They are opening up their Bibles and they won’t be tempted.

It’s not that they are bringing their iPhones to do it but it’s all those dings and bells and messages coming through and they are so tempting.

AH: Notifications, yeah.

NC: Yes.

AH: You know the creator of these iPhones; they do have that in the back of their mind. This is very purposeful.

NC: It is such a distraction. If we as mature adults have to fight those distractions, what about our children?

Even as our children are getting older the time comes when in this world, because it’s just part of life, that we do have to teach our children how to learn to use cell phones.

I use mine as a tool, a tool to get out the truth because they are getting out so much junk and deception and lies and stuff that is so anti-God on social media today. Why can’t we, as God’s people, get out the truth? If we can use it as a tool like that and you see it as a tool to get that out, but who does that? Very, very few people do.

I think we can even teach our young people to do that. They can begin to write stuff that’s standing up for truth and get it out on their Facebook pages. They can share stuff that’s good and powerful.

We don’t just give them an iPhone. When they get to the age when they can have one, we prepare them so that they know how to use it and how to have discipline.

AH: I think everything in our family should look different. Not necessarily for difference sake but we should teach our children to be against the flow and not be followers but be leaders.

To me it’s encouraging when I see a young person that’s sharing a Scripture or sharing something that’s encouraging on social media because so many posts are so negative and destructive.

It can be used for the good. I mean, we couldn’t do our business without social media.

Going back to something you had said about keeping the family together and if it’s destructive to the family then don’t do it, I just thought of a couple of things that typically you think would separate the family but, in our situation, we’ve tried to make it the opposite.

Sports, in most family’s world, would be a very divisive activity. You would have one child on a soccer field, and you have another on a volleyball court at the same time.

Mom is grabbing dinner with one and Dad is grabbing dinner with the other and you just constantly are all over the place. Some families even do year-round sports where they’re literally in a sport all the time.

Some families have said, “We’re just not doing any sports and anyone who does sports is wrong.”

We have a couple of daughters that are really talented in volleyball and some boys who are really good in soccer and they enjoy it.

We have tried to look at it as how can that bring our family together and it literally has.

We go to every single game as a family. You can’t miss us at these games! We have our children, we have our bananas, and thermoses, and we show up and you can’t miss us being there!

NC: You show up with your Pro-life shirts on!

AH: Yes, yes, we have our “Choose life” shirts on!

NC: Alison designed a Pro-life T-shirt. On the front it says, “Choose life” and on the back it says, “A person is a person no matter how small.”

I love seeing when you come as a family and everyone has a shirt on. In fact, you can contact Alison and get your family sized up! She’s got a shirt for every size.

AH: Yep, every size.

And so we made volleyball become a family sport. We put a court in our backyard. We play as a family, and we go to games as a family.

NC: Actually, we put in a volleyball court here at our place about 18 months ago.

AH: You had to keep up with the Florida people!

NC: Then you guys came up not long after we put it in. It was July 4th. Of course you are really into volleyball and all of our grandchildren were just getting into it. Of course they didn’t like getting beaten by the Floridians, so they really had to practice.

But I think it was one of the best things we did here. Then you guys went home and put a court in!

During the spring, summer, and fall I can look out here at night and because we have lights out there on the court, I can see the young people out here on the hilltop playing till ten o’clock at night, out there playing together.

It is so wholesome and so wonderful.

AH: There’s no reason why you can’t do things like that as a family. Even if the dad is not as good as it as the children there is no reason that you can’t do that as a family.

I think families that play together stay together.

NC: Most of our families here don’t actually GO to sports.

AH: Well you guys live so far from everything!

NC: I know, we do but they PLAY sports. They play volleyball but if they’re not playing that they’re playing soccer on the field or they’re playing other things. They are doing sports together all the time.

You don’t have to do it the way everybody does it. We are so victims.

I think we have to get out of the victim mentality of just thinking, “Okay, this is what you do” and you don’t have to.

There are other ways and you can think of other ideas. The thing is keeping your family together. That is the thing.

AH: I see a lot of families rarely eating meals together. That’s something again, going back to the word INTENTIONAL, that isn’t easy. There is nothing easy about it.

I had a client write to me a couple months ago and say, “I see your family always together on Facebook. I’m so envious of that.”

I asked her a few questions about what she lets her children do. She would have to make a lot of changes she may not be willing to make.

You may have to take that iPhone from your 10-year old. You may have to stop some friendships that they’re pouring themselves into. You may have to purposefully have a family dinner.

Our family dinners don’t look like everyone else’s. We’re not sitting at home and baking bread and then sitting down to the meal. Sometimes it looks very different than other families, but we almost always have dinner all together. That’s something that my husband is really, really firm about.

NC: He makes it happen.

AH: Yeah, you have to make it happen.

It may be at ten o’clock at night or it may be at four o’clock at night because you’re all leaving at different times but he feels like, and I feel like you have to, like you said, make it happen.

NC: I think I talked about this last week when I was talking about table tips. That’s one law that we have in our families that we don’t allow. If there are iPhones in the family, you don’t bring them to the family meal table.

They are such a competition and such an interruption, too, to our family togetherness.

AH: Again, you can look like you’re together but you’re not together.

NC: And that’s the wonderful thing about the table. It’s the drawing together. It’s not just the eating of the meal but it’s the fellowship together, isn’t it?

I hope that you remembered that from last week and perhaps you are making that a part of your meal table, too, that you don’t have iPhones there.

Anyway, time is coming to an end in this session, but I’d like to do another session.

AH: I think in summary of that segment was just the things that typically will bring the family apart, you can use those same things to bring your family together.

You don’t have to make the excuse of, “Oh, we can’t have dinner together” or “My children play sports” or “We go to church.”

No, you can use those same activities to bring your family together.

NC: Amen.

“Lord God, We thank You that we can chat together about these things and that although we are chatting here, we are coming into the homes of all these precious families.

“I pray Your blessing upon them today, that the things that we’re sharing will be an encouragement to them and You will pour out Your Spirit upon all these precious wives and mothers.

“I pray that You will put a new strength in them and a new vision and anointing to do what is right, to strengthen and build and keep their families together. Help them to be strong to say no to all the things that weaken families today.

“Lord, I pray that You will make them strong, anointed, and godly mothers in the midst of this deceived world in the name of Jesus. Amen.”

The previous podcasts where Allison shared:

No. 9
POUND YOUR STAKES DEEP!
Introducing Allison Hartman from Florida. Allison and her husband, Daniel have 10 children and run a family business. We talk about how she fits this all together and how keeping the family together is their greatest goal as parents.

One of the most powerful things we can do to build our nation is to strengthen our marriages and family lives. In every decision and plan we make in our family lives we should first of all think: Will this strengthen our family life, or will it fragment our family life? We must get into the habit of choosing what strengthens the family.

No. 10
ARE YOU RAISING YOUR CHILDREN TO SPEAK?
Allison Hartman and her 19-year-old daughter speak with me on this podcast. Allison shares how she and her husband managed to get out of debt and build a debt free home. McKenna speaks about her life in a big family and how she has built strong convictions into her life.

We talk about raising children to speak in the gates. Dear mothers, we are not only feeding and clothing our children. We have a huge task raising them to speak—speak clearly, speak with conviction, and speak with boldness, and who will one day be ready to speak with the enemies in the gates! Children who will know how to stand when they face the enemy, and “having done all, to stand” (Ephesians 6:13). Be inspired as you listen.

No. 88
LIFE, DEATH, COURTING, WEDDINGS, AND A TRIP TO ISRAEL!
The Hartman and Allison families are home from their great trip to Israel. Allison Hartman shares about their life-changing trip and how it can affect our lives.

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Episode 82 - TABLE TIPS

Rocky Barrett: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello to you today. I pray you are being blessed and enjoying the presence of the Lord in your home.

Last week we were talking about the table and the Table of Showbread in the Bible. On the table of showbread there was showbread. That is why it was called the Table of Showbread. Actually, the table and the bread were considered as one. They were like twins. You couldn’t have one without the other.

It’s interesting that when the priest would come in to change the bread each week, because every new week they baked 12 new loaves of bread for the table because God said it was to be continually upon the table. It was also called the continual table.

When they came in, they would have one set of priests who would take the bread and the vessels off the table. As they were taking it off the table, they would have another set of priests who would immediately put more on the table so that there absolutely not a second when bread wasn’t upon the table.

So the bread and the table were synonymous just like mother and home are synonymous. A home without a mother is not really a home and how can a mother really be a mother without a home? They’re really synonymous terms.

A home is meant to have a mother just as the table is a place where we’re meant to eat. Did you get that point, ladies? The table and the bread, or the table and the food, are synonymous.

In other words, the Bible reveals to us that we are meant to eat at the table. We don’t eat wherever we would like.

It’s time for mealtime and everyone is hungry. Maybe the mother calls, “Come and get it” and everyone comes and gets what he or she want and eats where they want.

No, that is not how we eat meals. We are meant to eat meals around the table.

Now we have tables that we sit at today. Back in Bible days or Middle Eastern times they had low tables. They still sat at those tables, but they sort of reclined in a sitting position and maybe sat on the floor because the table was low.

There is one Hebrew word for table where it was a mat on the ground. The people or the family would come and sit around the mat and the food would be in the middle.

See, the whole concept of the table is to gather people around. No matter what the situation, if it’s some beautiful high-class table or some humble table or a little low table or even a mat or tablecloth on the ground, it’s a table. It’s a gathering place.

We need to get that concept so that in our homes we don’t get away from the habit of sitting at the table.

I’m sure that is normal in your home but sadly there are many homes today that are forgetting the table because their lives are so busy. They’re often out here or there and getting fast food. Even when they’re home people are just getting what they want to eat and eating wherever they’d like.

We’ve forgotten the true concept of the table.

Now remember last week I told you that it’s not only a Biblical principle but also a heavenly principle. God has a table in His kingdom.

Well, I would think He has many, many, many tables because in the tabernacle there was one table of showbread. But when Solomon built the temple, he built ten tables of showbread because it was a much larger place (2 Chronicles 4:8). So I can’t imagine how many tables God has in His Kingdom!

If it’s a heavenly thing, shouldn’t it bring a little bit of Heaven to our home?

Perhaps you don’t feel like that. Sometimes you think, “Help, you should come to my place, it’s not very heavenly around here. It’s just one big shambles.”

Well ladies, today I would like to give you a few little practical tips. They are from the Bible and also from my experience. It’s amazing how much practical stuff the Bible has. I’m forever amazed at how God shows us about everything in His Word. It’s amazing!

SET THE TABLE

The first tip I want to give you is to set your table. I believe it is important to set your table and not just to throw some silverware on the table and some plates with the food and yell, “Come and get it.”

No; let’s set the table.

What does it say in Proverbs 9:1, 2? “Wisdom has built her house . . . she has also set her table.”

I believe it is very important to set a table because it draws people to it. We should make our table a place where our family, even our little children, want to come, because it draws them.

I think it is lovely to put a tablecloth on a table. I myself don’t like to sit down to a naked table to eat my meal.

In the daytime sometimes I have a naked table, although I usually have some kind of centerpiece cloth on my table. But it’s still half-naked during the day.

But when we come together to eat our meals, I love to put a tablecloth on. It’s mealtime so we’re not going to have the table just as it’s been. We’re going to make it special because now we’re going to eat together.

I remember a friend staying with me. I was preparing the meal and I said, “Oh, would you like to set the table?”

I found the tablecloth for her. She said, “Oh goodness, do you still use a tablecloth? I’ve never used one, and all of the friends I know, none of us use tablecloths.”

I said to her, “Wow, do you mean to say you sit down at naked tables?”

But anyway, you may think, “Well I’ve got little ones and that’s just too much work.”

We go through different seasons in our lives. But even when we do have little ones it’s possible to buy a beautiful tablecloth and put clear plastic over it. All you have to do is wipe down the plastic. You’d have to wipe down your table anyway, but you’ve still got something pretty underneath. So that’s something you can do.

As your children get older you find there comes a time in your life when you actually don’t have clear plastic over it any longer.

I find that even though I use a tablecloth every night I don’t wash my tablecloth every time. It’s amazing. It doesn’t seem to need it. We just shake it out. It lasts for two to three or sometimes even four meals before it really needs to be washed.

But I think that’s a beautiful thing. It adds a touch to your table.

Then you set your table correctly.

Now of course, dear mothers, you don’t have to be doing all this yourself because you’re training your children as they grow.

Even little ones, even four and five-year-olds, can set the table. It’s a job they just love to do. Oh they just love to choose the tablecloth.

When you show them how to set the table, they learn.

I’ve had young people come to my home and they don’t even know where the knives and forks go. I can’t believe it! But you can teach your children from little where you put the knife and fork and they are learning as they go.

You can encourage them to make something special for the table like a centerpiece. Maybe they can go outside and find some leaves or maybe find some wildflowers. They can find something that they can put in the center of the table or maybe they can draw a little card or something. It just gives them a little incentive and releases their creativity.

It may not be perfect, but who cares about that? It’s made special. There’s thought into it.

When everybody comes to the table there’s a little talking piece: “Oh, what is this you’ve put in? Oh, it looks lovely!”

They feel so special. You’ll find that as you give each of your children turns, they’ll become very competitive as to who is doing the best table.

It’s something your children can do. They learn how to do it correctly. They learn how to make a beautiful, creative table that draws people to it.

Then you put your food out on the table that you’ve been preparing (just put it in some dishes). Have it looking lovely, looking set, so it’s something that draws people to it.

I believe the table should draw our family to it. Oh, this is so lovely! They just want to come and sit around.

You may have heard me say this before, but I remember watching a movie years and years ago. When I watched it, it was black and white. It was rather slow moving and subtitled. Today you can get it in color and it’s in English and it was called, Babette’s Feast.

It’s the amazing story of this religious community and how they became so disgruntled with one another. But this woman behind the scenes made this glorious, glorious meal. Nobody knew that she was once the cook of a great restaurant in France. There was someone at this meal who had been to her restaurant. He got up and said, “This reminds me of a woman I know. A woman who knew how to make every meal into a love affair.”

I caught those lines. I loved those lines. I have taken them ever since. Sometimes I have it happen more than others. I love to have it as my vision for each table, to make every meal a love affair.

That’s a beautiful thing to do, mothers, because your meal table is so important. Your family is going to gather around. Don’t you want to make it a love affair? Don’t you want to make another memory? Don’t you want to make it something special for them instead of something that’s so boring and ordinary?

MAKE IT ORDERLY

Let’s go on to the next point which is very similar and that is making it orderly.

There is a Scripture, once again about the Table of Showbread. It is Exodus 40:4 (and 23). It says: “And thou shalt bring in the table [that’s the Table of Showbread], and set in order the things that are to be set in order upon it . . ..”

God had told Moses about the bread, about the vessels, about the utensils, about the frankincense. He told them about everything that had to be on the table, and it had to be on the table in a certain way, in order.

In verse 23 it says: “And he set the bread in order upon it before the Lord [in the presence of the Lord]; as the Lord had commanded Moses.”

“As we set an orderly table, our children will become more orderly. They follow the pattern of the table.”

God loves things orderly. He doesn’t want us to have a table that’s all haphazard with everything just thrown on it. No, God loves order. I believe, ladies, that as we set an orderly table and we set a lovely table that our children will become more orderly. The children will follow the pattern of the table.

If we don’t put much emphasis on the table and we just throw out the food and say, “Here, come and get it” and they can gather where they want and just grab a plate and put the food on, it’s not set out for each specific person. When it’s just like that it’s easy for them to give in to negative behavior. But when they see an orderly table, somehow it makes them want to be more orderly.

You see, practical things help the atmosphere. How we create the atmosphere will determine a lot of how our children will behave.

I want you to try out these little secrets, dear mothers, and see what will happen at your table.

SIT AT THE TABLE

Another little practical thing is about sitting at the table. Did you know that the Bible has lots and lots to say about sitting at the table?

I’m not going to give you all the Scriptures, but I have just done a study and I have written pages of Scriptures about sitting at the table and the Hebrew and the Greek words that mean “to sit” at the table.

Even some of the words for dwelling, the dwelling of the home, some of those Hebrew words also include the meaning of the word “sitting” or “sitting in the home.”

It’s a very Biblical thing.

We could perhaps first go to the Old Testament. In 1 Samuel 20 it tells the story of David and Jonathan and how David is currently living in King Saul’s palace.

But Saul is getting very jealous of David. You will remember how David went out to battle and how when the men would come home from battle all the women came out and they would sing the victory songs. They would sing, “Saul has slain his thousands, but David his tens of thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7).

I don’t think Saul liked that very much. He also had a problem of an evil spirit coming upon him and getting mad and angry. David would play his harp to soothe him but even then, sometimes he would throw his javelin at him.

David was feeling hated and he was thinking, “This time I’ve got out of this palace.”

He and Jonathan were out on the fields making plans of how they were going to do it.

David said, “I’m going to go back home for three days. Tonight you’ll go to the table and my place will be empty. Let me know what’s going to happen.”

So anyway we go to verse five where David says: “ . . . I should not fail to sit at the table with the king . . ..”

Because everybody in the palace who were allowed to be at the king’s table had to be there when it was mealtime. They had to be there, and they had to be in their seat.

We go down to verses 24 and 25: “ . . . And when the new moon came, the king sat down to eat food. The king sat on his seat, as at other times, on the seat by the wall. Jonathan sat opposite^, and Abner sat by Saul's side, but David's place was empty.”

Do you notice there, ladies, that the Bible takes time to tell us this? Did the Bible really have to tell us where they were all sitting at the table? I mean, what are we going to get out of that?

Well, I’ll tell you what we’re going to get out of it, ladies: it’s important for each of our children to have a seat at the table.

God wants us to sit down for our meals and He wants every ne there. Now David’s place was empty, and Saul was going to notice. He didn’t say anything the first night because he thought, “Oh well, maybe he’s had to go urgently somewhere.”

But the next night when his seat was empty, wow. He was angry! He got to Jonathan to find out what was happening. Of course the end of the story is how Jonathan realized his father was so angry with David that David knew it was time to flee the palace and he left.

But getting back to the seating. That’s amazing. The Bible talks about where each one sat. It says that the king sat as he did every other time. They all sat at their assigned seating. That’s interesting. Maybe it’s a good idea to have assigned seating.

I had a mother come to me recently and she said, “Nancy, my children fight and squabble at the table about where they’re going to sit.”

I said, “Do you just let them sit anywhere?”

“Yes,” she said, “but they’re always fighting. One wants to sit by Daddy, and one wants to sit here.”

I said, “Try assigned seating because it’s Biblical.”

When we have a certain place for each child they know where they’re going to sit so they don’t have to fight or argue over it. Of course you could change it. Maybe every few months you could change it so that some have a chance to sit by Daddy or by Mummy or by someone.

But you keep that assigned seating for a certain time because it’s another way of having order. People know where they are coming, and they sit at their seat with no bickering or fighting.

There we go. Isn’t it amazing? God has a Biblical answer for every little thing we face in our home.

Let’s go over to the New Testament and we’ll look at that wonderful story where Jesus fed the five thousand men plus women and children. Remember, He had been speaking to them for so long and they were tired and weary and HUNGRY.

Jesus said, “We can’t turn them away when they’re hungry like this” because Jesus is the Bread. He wants to fill us with sustenance from Himself, spiritually. He wants to fill us physically, too. He feeds us with good things.

He said, “What have we got?” They had five loaves and two fishes.

Before Jesus did anything and before He broke the bread and began to pass out the food, we notice something. We notice it in every Gospel. Can I read you a little verse out of each Gospel on this story?

In Matthew 14:19 it says: “And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass . . ..”

Then in Mark 6:39-20 it says that Jesus “ . . .commanded them to make all sit down by companies upon the green grass. And they sat down in ranks . . ..”

He was commanding His disciples to make (notice the two words here: command and make all, not just a few, but all of them sit down.

“No food until everyone is seated!”

Jesus did not give out any food until they were all sitting down. No food until they were all seated. That’s a good rule for your house.

Then in Luke 9:14: “ . . .And he said to his disciples, Make them sit down . . ..”

In John 6:10-11 (this is in every Gospel): “And Jesus said, Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, in number about five thousand.  And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given thanks, he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were set down . . ..”

Do you notice how Jesus refused to give out any food until everyone was seated?

There is something about sitting down for a meal. You see, when we come to the table, ladies, it is more than just for food.

This is another thing that is synonymous: food and fellowship. They go together.

We sit down not only to eat, but to fellowship. You’re sitting at the table; you’re not sitting down at the TV or wherever you’d like. It’s sitting together at the table.

Jesus got the people on that day to sit down in companies. They were there so they could fellowship together in companies. That’s all part of eating.

So we benefit physically. Scientific studies have been done that when you walk around and work, doing what you have to do while you’re eating, you really don’t even remember what you’ve eaten. You’re not physically getting the nutrients that you should get from your food and which you would get if you were sitting down and taking time to eat and talk with others.

That’s the way food is meant to be eaten.

Now lovely, darling mothers, especially with little ones, you have to watch that. It’s easy for you to be feeding the children and you’re standing up and eating a bit as you’re doing it.

You think, “Oh well, I haven’t got time to eat now.”

No, work it out somehow that you can also sit down with the family and sit down with your children. Maybe you’re sitting down and you’re feeding them at the same time, feeding the baby in the highchair beside you, or the baby that is sitting in your lap, or maybe even just nursing the little baby while you eat.

Maybe you have a baby that is a little older now and knows how to chew or is learning to eat. You may be feeding the little one from your plate. Perhaps they’re in the highchair and you can just give them some finger foods while you’re eating.

But try and sit down with the family. It’s establishing a habit, even with your little ones. It’s amazing what you can do as you plan to make it happen.

So sitting down is very important.

As you think about the assigned seating, I do hope your husband sits at the head of the table.

I think that’s a beautiful thing because we don’t have to get our children around and give them a lesson saying, “Oh, now Daddy is the head of our home.” No, we just teach them that by the way we live, by our lifestyle. Daddy comes to the table, he sits at the head, and he gives thanks for the meal. He is leading the family. The children see him there at the head of the table.

Maybe you sit at the other head of the table or maybe you sit by your husband.

I think it is great for your husband to sit at the head of the table. There is just something very special about it. I think it causes a man to rise up into who he is.

I remember once when we were leaving Australia. All of our furniture was ready for the junk heap. We got rid of it all. When you’re leaving, not just a state, but a country, you have to get rid of so much.

But I didn’t know what to do with our beautiful table because my father had bought it for us. It was a beautiful table made with wood from New Guinea. It could fit twelve or fourteen people around it. It was beautiful.

We gave it to Val and Bill. Val is the head of Above Rubies in Australia and looks after it down there. At that time her husband was not a Christian, but he has now come to the Lord. They had a little round table but when they sat down around our big table and Bill sat at the head of the table, she said it was amazing. Without any prompting from her or her saying anything, he gave thanks for the meal. It was as though something came upon him as he was there at the head of that table.

I remember a time when I was having a meal with a friend on the way out of New Zealand. We fly out of Auckland and so I went there for a meal on the way out. This woman cooked the most beautiful meal. She’s a great cook.

It was time to come to the meal. Her husband came to the table and the girls came. They just sat anywhere, the husband sat at the side of the table ,and it seemed to me so sad because there was something missing. The meal was beautiful, but the husband wasn’t there at the head of the table. In fact, when he had eaten his meal he just left. When the girls had eaten their meal, they all just went, and I was left there sitting with my friend.

It was so sad because they are missing so much. Those girls missed out on seeing their father at the head of the table. They missed out on their father leading them in Bible reading at the end of the mealtime. It was just a bit of food and then that’s it—gone!

The meal table is far more than that.

Another thing about sitting, too, is that I don’t think that we can expect really little ones to sit up straight at the table.

Of course when they are able to, then we are going to train them to, but when they are still little wee toddlers, maybe they could be there for a little while and then they will come and sit on our knee. Maybe one will be on Daddy’s knee and perhaps you have the baby.

Many of you have a bigger family with all different ages, with teens and middling ones and little ones. Actually it becomes so much easier then, doesn’t it? An older child can hold a little one, especially as you get to do family devotions.

Maybe they can have a little time of training and learn to sit up and eat their food. Then it comes time for Bible reading and they are getting a bit fidgety. An older child can take one on their lap and cuddle them and hold them. Maybe Daddy or Mummy can take another one and you just rock and cuddle them as the Bible is being read. They are in a place where they can receive it.

You’ll have wisdom about that as you’re training your children to sit at the table.

NO IPHONES AT THE TABLE

Another thing about the table (and this is something we would have never had to talk about years ago) but suddenly now we have to talk about it. And that’s iPhones at the table.

Oh precious mothers, I hope that you don’t allow iPhones at your table. They are rude. They are an intrusion. They say, “I’m not really interested in anyone around this table, thank you.”

You see ladies, we’ve got to realize that the table is not just food for our bodies. The table is food for our soul and food for our spirit. It is where we feed the whole man and it is a place where we gather our family to communicate, to dialogue, and to talk to one another. It is where we talk about things together. It is where we discuss things. It is a place where we talk to one another. It is where we cement our convictions and hone our ideas and learn new things.

We can’t do that if there are people with iPhones. Oh goodness me! Help! That’s not a gathering together at the table.

If our children are so addicted that they can’t let their iPhone go while they’re at the table, then they have got a problem, and you’ll have to deal with it.

I know some of your children may not have iPhones yet but it seems there is coming a time where most children get them these days and as they do you’ve got to teach them how to use them just as we do ourselves.

Sadly, there are some fathers and mothers that use them at the table. You better get out of that habit, too, because we are teaching our children. We have to learn how to use iPhones so that they are our tools and we’re not their victims.

That takes self-control. But isn’t that one of the things that the older mothers are to teach the younger mothers? We are to teach the young mothers to have self-control, to be sober.

That meaning of sober is “to gird up the mind and to have self-control.” We as mothers have got to learn to have self-control with our iPhones so that we use them as a tool. They can be used as a tool or you can become a victim to social media on them.

We especially have to teach our teens and our children and put boundaries on them when it comes to time on their iPhones. Whatever boundaries you put will be different in every family. But at least, oh precious mothers, don’t ever allow them at the table! It is an intrusion on your family life, and your togetherness, and your heart and soul communication.

You will have to watch with your beady eyes. We have lots of people come to our table and I have sometimes noticed children, and even teens, with their eyes cast down and they’re looking actually past their food plate.

I think, “Oh my! They are looking at their iPhone. How did they get that to the table?”

So you do have to watch.

 A good idea is to maybe have a basket where you can say, “Okay, drop all iPhones in here. Come children!”

Make sure it’s far enough away so they don’t hear dings and beeps, so they’re not tempted to run and get it.

Isn’t it amazing? People are total victims. They are victims today to dings and beeps. Can you believe that? Dings and beeps and they run to them!

Goodness me, we must learn self-control.

In fact, iPhones are a good, wonderful, and amazing way to learn self-control, aren’t they?

DIRECT THE CONVERSATION

Here are a few other things that are a good idea when you all come to the table. Direct the conversation.

Ladies, if you just let it go however it’s going to go, guess what? It’s going to go nowhere. It will get to shallowness and nothingness.

You have got to direct it.

I have found that it’s just as important for me to think about what we’re going to talk about at the table as it is for what I will prepare for the meal.

You can go to my webpage where you can pick up a list that I have put together that is about conversations for mealtimes. It is somewhere on the family meal table subject. If I can’t think of something new, then I can go to my list.

But I will bring a question or a subject for discussion. It may be political, biblical, geographical, or whatever. It may be an interesting question. “Okay, children, what about this? Let’s talk about this.”

Sometimes we will go around and have a question where each one has to go around and answer such as, “What is something new you have learned today?”

Direct the conversation so that you can have a positive time at your table.

And, of course, don’t leave the table, lovely ladies, until you have fed your children completely. The table is to feed their body, soul, and spirit. You feed their bodies. You feed their souls as you dialogue together.

But the most important is their spirit. You’ve got to feed their spirit. Don’t leave until you open the Word of God and your husband reads from the Word of God.

In our home we use The Daily Light on the Daily Path because it’s just Scripture and it has it for every morning and every evening of the year so it’s always there waiting for you. It’s a great blessing to do that.

Back in Holland in the early days they used to call the Bible reading “Finishing up the meal.” Isn’t that great? I had never heard that until I was in Holland one time and this lady told me.

I thought, “How amazing! They always finished the meal with the Bible.” That’s how they finish it up. They fed their spirits. Then your children are being completely fed: spirit, soul and body. Isn’t that good?

Don’t grow big, physical children with starving spirits. There must be so many children whose spirits are starving and famished because their spirits are not fed with the Word of God.

PLACE THE BIBLE BY YOUR HUSBAND’S PLATE

Just two little tips as we close: When we first began to do this, as my children were growing, my husband would sometimes forget. I mean, he didn’t want to forget. But you know men, they have a one-track mind and if they are thinking about something else, they forget about reading the Bible.

So what I would do was, I would bring the Bible, or The Daily Light and I would put it by his plate. I would do that as the meal was coming to a close. I would put it by his plate so he would subconsciously put out his hand, pick it up, and read, because he wanted to do it, but maybe he would forget and that was a little reminder.

WAIT TO CLEAR THE TABLE

Another thing is that we don’t, in our home, scrape the plates and pick up the plates and take them to the counter to have a lovely clean table to have our Bible reading.

No. I have found, ladies, that if we do that and everybody starts scraping and cleaning and starts walking over to the counter and clearing all of the plates, do you know what happens? Oh goodness me, I can’t get them back again!

One runs to the toilet, one runs here, and I can’t get them back.

So, I don’t let them go and we have our Bible reading as we end the meal, and do you know what? We’ve never noticed the plates on the table. Never noticed.

But at least we keep the beautiful atmosphere of the meal.

Time is up. I hope these were a blessing to you.

“Dear Father, we thank You for Your precious Word and how You teach us so much. Oh, we thank You. Thank You for showing us the way.

“I pray that You will give every precious mother such a vision for her table that this coming year will be a year where the table becomes such a focal point in their homes of gathering the family around.

“Lord, give them such beautiful, precious ,and wonderful times around the table and precious times of sharing together, and most of all, wonderful times in the reading of Your Word and praying together.

“Oh Father, bless their homes, bless their tables I pray in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.”

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Episode 81 - GOD’S PERSONAL LOVE TO HIS PEOPLE

Rocky Barrett: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello ladies! Well tonight is New Year’s Eve, so HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and your family.

I pray that it is a blessed New Year. In saying that, of course, none of us know what the new year holds, and I guess we’ll all face challenges this year. But praise the Lord we have God with us as we face these challenges. Isn’t that such a wonderful, wonderful blessing?

And we have His Word. His Word is our sustenance and it’s our comfort and our guide. It’s everything we need, isn’t it?

I hope you had a blessed Christmas or Hanukkah or just resting and enjoying each other as a family.

I must tell you about another of our celebrations we love to do around Christmas or New Year.

We have a BOOK PARTY. It’s a couple’s book party.

With loads of grandchildren coming along (and even while we were raising our children) there is always lots of noise. Many of them are adults now and it’s another different season.

But in this time when they were all little boys and girls I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great to have a lovely evening with just the couples?” So I asked all our sons and daughters and their spouses and said, “Let’s get together for a couple’s evening and we’ll have a book party.”

None of us want extra gifts that are just junk in our homes, but we all love books. And so we started this quite a number of years ago and we’ve continued it. It’s such a wonderful time.

In fact, as I’m sharing this, we haven’t even had our party yet for the New Year. We now have three different book parties because, of course, everything keeps growing.

Our granddaughters who are in their teens and twenties have their own book party. They’re all book lovers and they’ve already had theirs. We’re yet to have ours and it will be an amazing time.

We also have one for the young couples, too, because now we’ve got so many of them.

So what do we do? We come together for a lovely meal. We each bring a dish and enjoy fellowship together.

Then we have all of our books. We wrap our books, put them in the middle and we play the white elephant game, but we use books instead. We are rather strict about it because we don’t allow anybody to bring any boring book or even any self-help book.

I mean there are lots of good books, wonderful books, but we must try and bring books that people will fight for, books that they really want. If it’s just a good book but it’s just ordinary and no one’s going to fight for it . . . and instead they’re just going to go to the pile and look for another one . . . that’s totally boring.

Have you been to white elephant games where nobody fights over anything? They all just politely go over to the pile of presents and pick out another one. Then the next one goes and picks out another one and the game just ends.

Well we want to have a bit of fun together so we try and bring books that everybody will want to fight over. We usually end up doing that and people are just fighting, fighting, fighting one to the other to get the book.

Oh goodness me, sometimes they’re even really fighting (all in fun of course!)! Everything is in fun.

We just have a great night together. It’s just so fun. We do it every year. That’s just another thing that we do.

Now we are getting into the New Year and it will soon be back to work again.

I was thinking, “What will I talk to you about today?”

I thought that I would talk a little more about the table because I am sure at this season you have been spending much time around the table as a family, gathering with extended family and grandparents, having festive occasions together.

The table is such a blessed place, but I don’t believe we should keep it only for festive occasions.

I think the table is perhaps the most important piece of furniture in our homes. We should make it a very preeminent place, not just for festive occasions but also for every day of the year. Don’t you think so?

The very first mention of table in the Bible is called the Table of Shewbread. We can read about that in Exodus chapter 25. From verse 23 onwards you’ll read about the Table of Shewbread.

Now what on earth is the Table of Shewbread? It was one of the pieces of furniture in the Holy Place in the tabernacle in the wilderness. It was actually the very first piece of furniture that God told Moses to put in the Holy Place.

He had first talked to Moses about the Holy of Holies and how that in the Holy of Holies he was to place the Ark of the Covenant.

But now in the Holy Place, the very first piece of furniture is the Table of Shewbread. It is the first piece. Now everything in the Word of God has significance. There’s not one word that is lost or out of place. It is all anointed.

Therefore when God puts this at the first, we should take notice.

And so He told them how they were to make this Table of Shewbread. It had many different names as we read about it in other places in the Bible.

It was firstly called “The Table of Showbread.”

It was also called “The Pure Table.”

“The Continual Table.”

“The Golden Table.”

It was called ”The Table of His Presence.”

It was also called “The Table of Faces.”

That’s perhaps the most correct to the Hebrew, which is, when it’s talking about the table its shulchan ha paniym. When its talking about the bread on the table, the showbread, it’s

lechem ha paniym. Lechem is “bread” and “faces” is paniym.

“Bread of faces”— what does that mean?

The bread upon the table pointed to Christ. Everything in the tabernacle pointed to Christ. When Jesus came to this earth He said, “I am the Bread of life.”

He is our life, our sustenance, our everything. As we look to Christ and as we look into His Word, which the bread on the table portrayed, we find more and more of Him. Christ does not have only one face, but many faces and many attributes. There is so much in Him and we will never ever fathom all that is in Him.

Colossians 2:3 says that in Him “ . . . are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.”

They are all in Him. He does give us some of them, but we will never know it all because He is God. We will never know all of Him.

I love that Scripture in Job 26:14. It says: “Lo, these are parts of his ways: but how little a portion is heard of him?”

Another translation (ESV) says: “Behold, these are but the outskirts of His ways; how small a whisper do we hear of Him!”

NET: “Indeed, these are but the outer fringes of his ways! How faint is the whisper we hear of him!”

That is so true. Even though we have the Bible, God’s living Word, filled with His wisdom, knowledge and His ways for us, they are just a little of the outskirts of His ways. Even though He speaks to us through His Word and He speaks to us through His Holy Spirit Who indwells in us, it’s just a little whisper of Who He is.

We can continue to press in to feed and know more of Him. That’s why it’s called “The Bread of Faces,” lechem ha paniym.

It was called  “The Golden Table” because it was made of acacia wood, which was just a very common wood speaking of Christ’s earthly ministry and how He became a man for us. But it was covered with pure gold and of course that speaks of the divinity of Christ.

It actually speaks to us of our tables, too, because it comes right back to our tables in our homes.

As we sit around our tables with our families, I’m sure you will confess, as I have had to confess, especially while raising our children, that often our table was very, very earthy.

Oh my, children aren’t perfect. Children play up at the table. They grumble, they argue, they fight, and try to get up and down from the table.

The table is such a training ground for our children, isn’t it? Don’t despair, lovely ladies, if everything is not perfect. Just keep on training and don’t give up because sitting around a table is a habit that we must make as a very important thing in our families.

Although it can be so earthy, God wants to come and cover all our earthiness with His divinity because this table is covered with gold speaking of the divinity of Christ. Mother, He wants to come to your table with His presence and with His divinity. He wants to come and cover all the goings on at your table.

Especially as you begin the meal, invite Him to come to your table. He will come and you will find that even though it is made of acacia wood He will come and cover it with His gold.

It is called the “Pure Table.” It is also called an “Altar” in Malachi so that is seven different names for the Table of Showbread.

There is another layer of truth here because on the table there were twelve loaves of bread. Of course you will realize that those twelve loaves of bread represented the twelve tribes of Israel.

Not only did the bread represent the faces of Christ and everything that is in Him, but the bread also represented the faces of His chosen people.

He wanted them in His presence and as He looked upon the bread, He saw all their faces, every one of them. Every one of them different, every one of them unique, all there, represented in His presence.

Every loaf was exactly the same measurement, which is interesting. Even the little tribe of Benjamin had the same measurement as the bigger tribes. Even outcast Rueben had the same measurement as the royal Judah and so on. But they were all there, equally presented, before the Lord.

I love this Scripture, Deuteronomy 11:12. It is one of my favorites. I think of this Scripture when I think of how God wanted the faces of His people before Him in His presence. This is now talking about the land that God was bringing them into and it says:  ^“A land which the Lord thy God careth for: the eyes of the Lord thy God are always upon it, from the beginning of the year even unto the end of the year.”

Isn’t that beautiful?

I believe that is a promise we can take for our homes. What a beautiful promise as you begin this New Year, mothers. That would be a beautiful promise that you could type out or write out in big letters and pin it up in your kitchen.

Tell the family, “Let’s make this our promise for the year.”

Of course there are always conditions to promises because the very next verse says: “And it shall come to pass, if ye shall hearken diligently unto my commandments which I command you this day, to love the  Lord  your God, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul, that I will give you the rain of your land in his due season, the first rain and the latter rain, that thou mayest gather in thy corn, and thy wine, and thine oil.” And He continues on with all the blessings.

This promise is how God’s eye is upon our home from the beginning of the year to the end of the year. Of course it’s conditional on our seeking Him, our loving Him, and our obeying His commandments. But as we do this, we can claim that glorious promise. Isn’t it beautiful? His eyes are continually upon us.

That makes me think of another beautiful promise in Isaiah 49:16 where it says: “Your walls are continually before the Lord.”

When it says in the King James translation “before the Lord” it actually means “in the presence of the Lord.” So dear mother, this is not something insignificant, nor are you left on your own, but God is with you.

Concerning your walls, the walls of your home, where you are in your home watching over your children He says, “Your walls, mother, are continually before Me. They are continually in My presence.” He sees everything that is happening. He knows what is going on.

You can lift your heart and eyes up to Him and know that He is with you.

When you face challenges, when the children are sending you crazy, when they are bouncing off the walls, just look to Him.

Don’t start screaming and yelling; just lift your eyes to Him. Take that moment and say, “Thank You Lord. I thank You that You are here. Thank You that you’re watching over my walls.”

As you do that, you’ll find you’ll have wisdom. You will know what to do. You’ll have anointing to go and deal with the situation.

What a beautiful promise.

Not only did God want the bread upon the table to represent His people but oh, He did something else! I think this is just so amazing!

You go over to Exodus 28. This chapter is a whole chapter about the priest’s clothing and what God wanted them to wear. That is back in the Old Testament but now in the New Covenant the Word of God says that we are kings and priests unto our God. We are priests. Every born-again believer is a priest.

Let’s just look a little bit at the priest’s clothing. We won’t go into it all because we would be going for weeks; but I will read you the very beginning of the chapter.

Exodus 28:1: “And take thou unto thee Aaron thy brother, and his sons with him, from among the children of Israel, that he may minister unto me in the priest's office . . ..”

Verse 2:  ^“And thou shalt make holy garments for Aaron thy brother for GLORY and for BEAUTY.”

Isn’t that interesting? God loves beauty. He wanted the priest’s clothing to be for glory and for beauty.

That’s a lovely thing to think about when we are clothing ourselves. God wants us to clothe ourselves beautifully, holy, and in a way that will glorify Him.

Let’s go on. We will go down to verse nine. God told them to make an ephod and then on the ephod it says: “ And thou shalt take two onyx stones . . ..”

We know that today onyx stones are not that beautiful, but I think they are different than what we know today. I think these were glorious stones. “ . . . And grave on them the names of the children of Israel. Six of their names on one stone, and the other six names of the rest on the other stone, according to their birth.”

Isn’t that interesting?

God is interested in every detail. Nothing is haphazard about God and He wants the names, starting with the oldest down to the youngest, all in order. They were to be engraved on these beautiful stones.

Verse 11: “With the work of an engraver in stone, like the engravings of a signet, shalt thou engrave the two stones with the names of the children of Israel: thou shalt make them to be set in ouches of gold.”

They were to be in little sockets, each stone in the socket of gold.

Of course every time we read of the gold, it is speaking of God Himself, the divinity of God.

Each name was to be put in gold. They were to be put in this socket of gold, speaking of God Himself. He wanted them right in Him. Oh, it is so beautiful.

Verse 12: “And thou shalt put the two stones upon the shoulders of the ephod for stones of memorial unto the children of Israel: and Aaron shall bear their names before the Lord upon his two shoulders for a memorial.”

In other words, it’s a remembrance before the Lord.

So when Aaron went into the Holy Place every day and the Holy of Holies once a year, he had on his shoulders all the names of the children of Israel, each tribe engraved in a beautiful socket of pure gold.

The shoulders in the Bible speak of carrying burdens. God wanted Aaron to carry that burden on his shoulders, the burden of God’s people.

This is a type, ladies, a type for us today. We are priests and God wants us as husbands and wives to take our children into His presence on our shoulders because the shoulders are where we bear a weight. It’s where we carry a burden.

I believe that we have the responsibility to carry the weight and the burden of prayer upon our shoulders before the Lord (in the presence of the Lord), to take them into His presence in prayer, to remind the Lord of them.

Do you pray for your children? Oh I know you do! But do you pray with your husband for your children? That’s the big question. I believe that we should pray as husbands and wives for our children.

What does the Bible say? “If two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them . . ..”

This is a powerful, powerful Scripture and promise for married couples.

When I was married, over 56 years ago, I remember taking this verse into our marriage thinking, “My, this is incredible. I now can work this Scripture out in reality because there’s two of us who can agree and go into the presence of the Lord together, agreeing.”

What power there is in that! Of course the greatest thing that we should pray for, firstly, as married couples, is for our children. Because, dear mothers, if we’re not praying for them, can I ask you, who will be praying for them?

Maybe you have godly grandparents praying for them but really, who else really loves them and has the burden on our hearts like we do?

Perhaps if you’re not praying with your husband you might like to talk to him. Now, don’t tell him that this is what you must do because when you tell your husband what to do, he usually won’t do it.

The best idea is just to talk to him and share with him and say, “Darling, I’ve been thinking how much our children need our prayers. I’ve been concerned about this child and I feel that I need you to help me pray for him. “Do you think that we can maybe make a time each day when we could bring our children before the Lord and just bring their names before Him?”

Do you know that in this little passage I read to you about the names on the shoulders, the word “names” is mentioned five times in that little passage? The names. Yes, God wants the names brought before Him.

Sometimes when Colin and I are praying for our children, we love to have time to really pray and pray about the things that we really want to pray about for their lives. Then there are other times where we really don’t have time because I think we have more to pray for than you do because we have 48 grandchildren and now, we have 15 great-grandchildren and more coming on. So there are many, many in our family and we like to bring every name before the Lord.

Sometimes we only have time to bring their names before the Lord. So if we don’t have time to pray specific things, which is wonderful, we will just bring the names.

Even if you can bring the names before Him, that is so important.

And that wasn’t enough. Not only were their faces represented on the table, not only did he have them engraved on the beautiful stones and sockets of gold on his shoulders, but there is more yet!

Let’s go to verse 15: “And thou shalt make the breastplate . . ..”

God told him to make a breastplate and it was also going to be beautiful of gold, blue, purple, scarlet and fine twined linen. On this breastplate there were to be twelve stones again, representing the twelve tribes of Israel.

They were to set them in settings of stones, even of four rows of stones. Every stone was a different gleaming, glorious, sparkling jewel.

Verse 21: “And the stones shall be with the names of the children of Israel, twelve, according to their names . . ..”

Do you notice how God wants the names? Are you getting this? Those names, the names you chose for your children, you didn’t just haphazardly choose them. Those names have meaning. As you bring those names before the Lord, it is beautiful to pray over them the meaning of their names, too.

The names were to be on the breastplate and where did the breastplate go? It went over Aaron’s heart.

Now let’s read verse 29: “And Aaron shall bear the names [there we get it again, the names!] of the children of Israel in the breastplate of judgment upon his heart . . ..”

We had the shoulders, but now the names are also on his heart.

Continuing with verse 29 through verse 30: “ . . .When he goeth in unto the holy place, for a memorial [to remind the Lord in His presence] before the  Lord continually. And thou shalt put in the breastplate of judgment the Urim and the Thummim; and they shall be upon Aaron's heart, when he goeth in [to the presence of the Lord] before the  Lord: and Aaron shall bear the judgment of the children of Israel upon his heart [in the presence of the Lord] before the  Lord  continually.”

I am in awe of how much we, His people, mean to Him. His people of Israel were represented on the table with the bread. They were represented on the shoulders of the high priest and upon his heart. Oh, how much God loves His people. And how much He loves us.

Then, as we love our children, we will take this and we will bring the names of our children into His presence, on our shoulders and on our hearts.

God is so amazing. Do you notice how He didn’t just say, “Okay, Aaron. Now you need to take the names of the children of Israel on your shoulders and I want you to have them on your heart, figuratively.”

No, God showed Him something tangible. God loves doing tangible things. He got the names on beautiful, glorious jewels and He had them over His heart.

Now, we can’t really get beautiful jewels but if you’re a creative person you may like to think of something very creative that can have the name of each one of your children. It could be a special thing for each of your children that you can bring before the Lord when you come to pray for them, a tangible thing.

Now I must confess, here I am telling you to do that and I’ve never really done anything terribly creative.

I am one of those people who is always typing and always writing and so I always have a pen in my hand or am at the computer typing. So all I have ever really done is written out the names of each one of our children.

Many times as I am praying, I lay that list of names upon my heart. Even though we are going to say each name, I just put them on my heart. If I haven’t got the paper with me, I will lay my hand on my heart. I will at least do something tangible.

There is something about doing something. Even as I just lay my hand on my heart it becomes more meaningful and more powerful as I pray for my children.

You can do that, too, but you may think of something more creative than I have and that would be so great. (I’d love you to tell me about it – This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.).

But isn’t that so beautiful?

It goes to even more layers. The bread pointed to Christ. It also then came down to point to His people. Then we learn from it ourselves for our lives today because the table is very important to God and you will notice that when we look at other Scriptures.

Here is one, Psalm 128:3. I am sure you know this Scripture off by heart. It talks about the woman in the home.

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants all around your table” (NKJV).

That’s the picture God gives of a family that is blessed of the Lord. They are all sitting around the table. They have their meals together at the table. They gather for mealtime.

They don’t come and just grab some food, go to their room, or sit where they’d like. They don’t sit in front of the TV with a TV tray. No, that’s not what the Bible portrays!

The picture God gives is of a family sitting around the TABLE.

Oh yes, tables are very Biblical. But ladies, they actually go far beyond the Bible. Do you know where they actually originate? I wonder if you know.

In case you don’t, I will tell you.

Tables originated in Heaven. God had a table in His Kingdom before we ever had tables on earth.

In fact the Table of Showbread was a type of God’s table in His Kingdom.  The whole of the Tabernacle was a type of the Heavenly sanctuary that was not only there at that time but still is now. It’s eternal.

When Jesus was here on earth He often talked to His disciples about His table. He would say, “I want you to come and sit down at My table in My Kingdom.”

Another time He said: “They shall come from the North and the South and the East and the West and sit down with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob at My table in My Kingdom” (Matthew 8:11 and Luke 13:29).

You see, tables are not only Biblical they are Heavenly. And so when we gather around the table, mothers, we are bringing a little bit of Heaven to our homes.

Don’t despise your table. It is very important in the eyes of God. Remember, it was the first piece of furniture that God told Moses to make for the Holy Place. It’s the first piece and perhaps the most important piece of furniture in our homes.

Well we’ll talk more about it next week. Let’s pray.

“Dear Father, we thank You for Your Word which shows us Your heart and shows us Your ways. We pray that You will teach us more and more of Your wonderful ways.

“We pray that we will constantly look to You and feed in Your Word that we will learn more and more of You and understand more and more of Your attributes and Your ways. Help us, Lord, to see how You see the table and help us to make it a very special place in our homes.

“I pray for every mother and every family as we now begin another New Year. I pray for Your blessing upon them. I pray that Your eye will be upon them from the beginning of this year right up until the end. I ask it in Jesus’ name. Amen.”