PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 427: THE FLOURISHING MOTHER, PT 9
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 427: THE FLOURISHING MOTHER, PT 9
The flourishing mother knows the secret of living in rest. Are you enjoying rest as a mother? Is your home a haven of rest? Check out the secrets of restful living.
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to the Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies, a magazine bringing strength and encouragement to families across the world.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, wonderful ladies. We are getting down to the end of our series, “The Flourishing Mother.” We are at the end of No. 10. THE FLOURISHING MOTHER HAS COMMAND OF HER HOME. I was giving you an acrostic of the word ORDER because it is important to have order in the home, just as God has order in His home, in the tabernacle, and later the temple which Jesus called His house, a house of prayer. It was His house, God’s house.
Back in the Old Testament, we see that God caused everything to be done in order, even the way the things were to be placed on the table of showbread, and everything that was in the holy place, and how it was to be done on the brazen altar. Everything had to be done in order. God is a God of order.
So, we are up to the last point of that word, which is “R.” And that word is, what do I have for “R”? I have RESIST!
R RESIST
The resistance movement. Now, what am I talking about there? What am I resisting? Well, we’re actually resisting the resistance that comes from our children and even our teens sometimes.
Because children will naturally tend to be lazy. They’ll muddle around instead of doing their chores. But we must never give in to that resistance of resisting to keeping the house in order. So, we have to keep on top of that. We don’t give in. We keep to our plan of order, and we establish the order until it is the habit of the home.
Now I know that you all know that training doesn’t happen in a day. Yes, it takes time. It’s amazing how you must keep on. You’ve got to say the same thing over and over again. But eventually they get it and it becomes a habit. We want our family life and our family homelife to be filled with fun, joy, and laughter. That’s what I think is so wonderful in a home. Not all that sort of “downness” and “OK, we’re going to have order” but there’s no joy.
How I see order is that it’s the underlaying foundation. If we can keep an underlaying foundation of order, of course, we’re willing to even give that up when something spontaneous happens. That’s the secret. Having this underlying foundation so we’re basically keeping in order. Of course, as your family grows, you're not going to have a perfectly ordered home. There are always things out of place here and there.
Well, goodness me, I remember going to my husband’s home before I was married. I remember thinking, “What would this be like?” Because there were only three children in our family and that could get pretty chaotic at times. I thought, “What will it be like, going to a family of nine children?” Back in those days, I wasn’t used to these big families as I am now.
I couldn’t imagine it, but I went to this home. I travelled by train and got off this old “puffing Billy.” It was a steam engine in those days. That was when I first arrived at the Campbell home. But I couldn’t believe it. Everything was in perfect order. My husband’s mother knew how to keep a home in order. She polished the silver every week and she ironed everything, Oh goodness me! She was one of those great homemakers.
In fact, when we got married, and of course, we would want to have his parents over for a meal. Well, I would have to invite them three weeks in advance so I could just get my home spic and span and everything in perfect order before they came. Because even though I like to have this underlying order, I would still have papers here and papers there. I’ve always got papers around. That’s just me.
My wonderful husband has sort of got used to that over the years. He was brought up in a home that had absolute, complete, incredible order. Not a bit of dust ever to be seen. I have to admit that sometimes you can see dust. And if I could look at my windows, I can’t remember when I last cleaned them. But her windows would be shining. Anyway, apart from a bit of dust, and, you know, windows not cleaned, I like to have the basic order. I think that is important. If you have that, then you are prepared for when spontaneous things happen, and you can say, “OK, just let me do something. Let’s go and do this!”
But another thing of course about having order is also having our children in order. That is so important, because if you haven’t got your children in order, you're not going to be a happy mom. You don’t even want to get up in the morning! Help! Who in the world wants to get up to unruly, disobedient children? Oh, goodness me! Who can handle that?
And yet, some mothers are trying to handle it, because they have let their children get away with things. They haven’t taught them obedience. This is so important for an ordered home, to establish obedience. Obedience, really, is one of the first things we have to teach our children, or the first thing.
Before that, we teach them to listen, to hear, because they can’t even obey until they’ve learned to hear. We’ve got to give them alert ears to hear us when we speak to them, when we tell them what to do, and to know that when we tell them what to do, we expect obedience. If we don’t have obedience, well, we will have appropriate punishment, because that is biblical.
And so, we, little by little . . . I know it doesn’t happen all at once, lovely mothers. But little by little, we establish order. We establish ordered children, obedient children. And so, we can enjoy ourselves, because when we have children who are happy and obedient and compliant, wow! Motherhood is wonderful! Fantastic! You’ve got peace and joy and happiness and fun! And that’s what it’s meant to be about, where you can have fun and enjoy your children. That comes out of an ordered home. So, seek to do that.
Ask the Lord to show you if you're struggling in this area. Ask the Lord to show you how He wants you to do it, and what He wants you to do, and how He wants you to do it. He will teach you. Yes. And keep reading through Proverbs. It’s so practical. You’ll read so much there, even about parenting your children. You’ll be getting God’s idea of things. Well, not ideas but His way, His plan, because it’s not just an idea. It’s His plan that works with success. When we do it society’s way, and the world’s way, it doesn’t really work. Do it God’s way. So, keep in the Word too. That’s so important.
Well, we’re up to . . .
No. 11. THE FLOURISHING MOTHER KNOWS THE SECRET OF LIVING IN REST
Oh, dear precious mothers, do you want to live in rest? Now that’s a beautiful thing to flourish Iin as a mother, because if everything’s going haywire, and everything’s in chaos, and you're all uptight, you're not in rest. You’re not even enjoying motherhood, let alone flourishing in it.
So, what is the secret of living in rest? I believe that the foundation of living in rest is living in Christ. Abiding in Him because Christ lives in us. What does John 15 say? We abide in Him, and He abides in us.
Colossians 1:27: “Christ in you, the Lord of glory.” Yes, Christ in you. If you have embraced Him into your life, He dwells in your life.
And guess what? Jesus does not get uptight. Jesus does not get into chaos. He lives in rest. And so, we want to live in Him. We want to yield to Him. This is a habit that we must get into, because all of us are going to face chaos. As a mother, you're going to face that. Children will make a home into chaos. They will make it a mess. They’ll all be screaming and yelling and crying at once, and everyone needs you at once. Oh goodness me! You just wonder what on earth you're going to do! You’re totally overwhelmed! How can you live in rest in the midst of that?
Well, there is a secret of living in rest, even in the midst of chaos. There is a secret of living in rest even in the midst of noise. Because you’ll always have noise when there are children around. But you see, we yield, not to our circumstances, not to our fleshly feelings of wanting to scream. No, we yield to Christ, because He dwells within us. We yield to the life of Christ, who dwells in us.
Now, we do have to get into the habit of this lifestyle, but I want to encourage you to do it, precious moms, because I know, I did this myself. I faced feeling how you often feel. Oh goodness me, you just want to scream, or you don’t even know what to do when everyone is crying at once, or yelling at once, and needing you at once. Help!
But even in the midst of that, you can just say, “Thank You, Jesus. Oh, thank You that You live in me. Thank You that You live in rest. I take Your rest right now. I live in Your rest.” So, we acknowledge the rest of Jesus that is in us. Can you do that? Can you begin to make that a habit of your life?
And so, we’re all going to feel those frustrations, and those reactions, and getting uptight which is the opposite of feeling restful. But no, you don’t give into this. It’s so easy. It becomes natural to give into them, but no, we’ve got to learn the habit of the opposite of yielding to Christ who dwells within us.
Jeremiah 50:6: “My people” (My people, God is saying) “My people . . . have forgotten their resting place.” You see, there is a resting place.
Hebrews 4:9 tells us “There remaineth therefore a rest unto the people of God.” There is a rest for those of us who live in Christ, who abide in Him, and He abides in us. Don’t forget your resting place, dear lovely mothers. There’s a resting place for you in Christ.
Now the word “resting place” in the Hebrew literally means “a place to lie down.” Well, that doesn’t mean you're going to, “OK, I’m just going to lie down on the couch and just close my eyes to all that’s going on around me.” No, no, we live in the midst of everything that’s happening. The busyness, sometimes the chaos, sometimes, when everybody’s crying at once! No, we learn to live in that, but in rest.
I remember reading about a man of God. And every letter that he wrote . . . back in those days, they used to write letters. They didn’t have computers in those days. And he would sign all his letters, “Restfully busy.” I’ve never forgotten that. I think they are two wonderful words. They’re two words that are the opposite, but he put them together. I believe we can experience that. “Restfully busy.”
You may have so much you have to get done today but you can do it in rest. And remember, don’t forget that you don’t have to get it all done. I usually write lists every day. Do you write lists? I’m sure you do. I have to confess, I don’t think ever in my life I have ever crossed off everything on the list, because we can never quite make it.
I used to feel so frustrated. I used to think, “I need 48 hours in every day!” And then the Lord spoke to me, and He said, “Nancy, I only gave you 24. That’s all you need.” So, now I will write my list, and at the end of the day, I will cross off what I’ve done. I think, “Well, praise the Lord! There’s tomorrow for the next things. Or maybe next week.”
Sometimes I have lists, and I’ve had them for a few weeks or more, and there are still things that are not crossed off. But one day, they’ll get crossed off. We don’t need to get frustrated about it. We rest in Christ, knowing He only gave us one day at a time. All of that is not for work, either. He gave us the day to work and the night to sleep and refresh ourselves for the next day.
So, learn to live God’s way, and live in His resting place. You don’t have to do more than what God wants you to do. And dear, lovely, young moms, especially. You might not even get time to write a list when you’ve got all your little ones and your baby. It doesn’t matter. Just the greatest things that you’re nursing your baby, and you're preparing three meals a day for your children, and you’re just keeping them safe. Oh my, that’s just so wonderful.
That’s all He wants you to do in those busy, busy days of little toddlers around and a baby nursing at your breast. So, embrace your season and live in the rest of that season. As your children get older, you will accomplish a lot more. And then your children become teens, and you've got adults in your home who know how to run the home, manage the home, and help in so many ways. You’ll be doing so much more. You see, there are seasons of life, but even in the seasons, we learn to live in rest. We must never forget our resting place.
Proverbs 24:15: “Lay not wait, O wicked man, against the dwelling of the righteous; spoil not his resting place.” God calls our homes a resting place. Isn’t that beautiful? It’s a place where we’re meant to live in rest. It’s a place where we make a place of rest for our children and for our husband when he comes home. Seek to have your home a restful place when your husband comes in, dear mothers.
I used to like to do a ONE, TWO, THREE! When I knew that Colin would be coming home, maybe in the next ten to fifteen minutes, I’d say, “OK, children! Daddy’s coming home! Let’s get rid of everything!” Because the floor would be strewn with toys and there would be papers on the table. The place looked a mess because we were being productive. Little ones were playing. Older ones were doing things at the table, and maybe other construction, or whatever it was. So, even production and productivity can create mess.
But it has to always be cleaned up. Yes, if we want perfect homes all the time, we’ll never do anything in life! Goodness me, we’ve got to do stuff! We’ve got to be productive! We’ve got to make things. We’ve got to create, so we’ll make a mess as we create. But always have clean-up time.
I would say, “OK! One, two, three!” And everybody would go for it picking up everything. Toys thrown in the toybox, everything else put away. If he was coming very soon, even if everything was thrown into a cupboard, maybe it wasn’t even the right place. It should have been getting into the right place, but even if you can get it out of sight, so when Daddy comes, wow! He can walk through the floor, and all the children can run to him and hug him.
It’s such a beautiful homecoming for Daddy. You can put on some soft music, and there’s a restful atmosphere as he walks through the door. Then you can say to him, “Darling, supper’s nearly ready. Just wash up, and you can come to the table.”
You see, that’s another secret, lovely ladies, of creating a restful home. That is, making sure you have the meal prepared for your husband when he comes home. If you let things go, and you don’t start early enough, and you don’t get it ready for when he comes home, “Oh, wow! I haven’t got it ready!” And then you fly around and everything’s a hustle and a bustle.
No, start early. Maybe even start at the beginning of the day and put some meat and some vegetables in the crockpot so it’s all ready when he comes in. Or if you're going to be making it from scratch later on, start early enough, so it is ready. You see, the day is for all this productivity, but as the evening comes, we want to bring our families to a place of restfulness.
And so, have that soft music playing and the table is being set. The children are helping. Light some candles at the table. That brings a restful ambience too. And then, you sit together at the table. And that brings rest. Well, mostly. Of course, when you're training little ones, it’s not always restful. You’re teaching them to sit at the table instead of jumping up and down. And you're teaching them their manners and you're teaching them this and that.
But as you teach them, they’re getting into the habit, and you're also doing everything you can to make this table a place of rest where you will enjoy one another, and you will eat and fellowship, which releases oxytocin which releases calmness and joy and rest. That’s a beautiful thing.
It is very biblical, because ladies, when did God come and meet with Adam and Eve each day? Because the Bible tells us that God came every day to meet and talk with Adam and Eve. He didn’t come during the day when they were at work, because God gave work. He put the man in the garden to work at it by the sweat of his brow. That was before the fall. No, God didn’t come then. He came in the cool of the day, the evening time. A little breeze is blowing now, and it’s getting a little darker.
It’s time for rest and fellowship. This is when God came. This is when He wants to come to your home. You come, and you gather your family to sit at your table. And you feed them the food you’ve prepared. Then, of course, you never let them leave the table until you've fed them your spiritual food. You’ve opened the Bible and read to them. You see, God wants to come. He wants to be at your table. He wants to bring His presence which brings rest. It is a time He loves to come.
Sadly, there are many mothers today, even Christian mothers, who, oh, they’re still out on the road at this time instead of being home preparing a meal without all the hustle and bustle. They’re out, they’ve been on the sports field, they’re out, taking their children somewhere and they’re still coming home. “Wow! It’s five or six o’clock! Help! What are we going to do for supper? Well, maybe just buy something on the way home.”
No, that is not the way God intended. The evening meal is very, very precious to God. It’s the time when He wants to visit our families, come to our homes, sit at our table, bring His presence—and His presence of rest. So, that’s another thing you make happen. But you have to work out how you're going to make it happen. Start early so that you can make this beautiful time happen.
Now, we read the Scripture: “Lay not wait, O wicked man, against the dwelling of the righteous; spoil not his resting place.” That word “spoil” in the Hebrew is shadad, which means “to destroy, to rob.” And Satan is the one who really wants to spoil our resting place. He wants to rob us of our rest in our homes. He wants to rob us of that resting place at our evening meal table.
He wants you to get so involved, and so taken up with other things, or so involved with too many activities outside the home, that you're not home in time to prepare that meal which prepares the way for God to come to your table and bring His presence. Watch out for those things, dear mother, which will spoil your resting place, rob you, and destroy your rest. Watch out for those things.
Let me read you some other Scriptures. Isaiah 30:15: “In returning and rest shall ye be saved; in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.” That’s a wonderful promise, isn’t it? It’s in returning to Christ, to His life that dwells in us, that we find our rest. In returning and rest, you’ll be saved. In quietness and confidence, you’ll find strength.
But that’s not the end of the Scripture. It then says: “And ye would not.” Isn’t that amazing? But I think that often we can be the same. God wants us to just tone down a bit. Stop being so busy! Stop being involved in so many things, so we can find our rest. But we say, “No! No! Sorry, I’ve got to do this. I’ve got to do that.”
It’s like one time a dear precious mother came to me. She said, “Nancy, I’m just overwhelmed! Please help me! What can I do?” I said, “Well, tell me your schedule.” So, she told me what she did each day. Wonderful homeschooling mother. And then she said, “Oh, this day I take this child to music, and on this day, I do this, and on this day, I take this child here.”
By the time she finished her week’s schedule, I was feeling so uptight myself! She was running around like a hairy goat, taking her children everywhere! And I said, “You are just doing too much! Just calm down a little bit. Choose some things that you can stop.” She said, “Oh no! No, sorry, I can’t! I’ve got to do all of them. I just have to.” I said, “OK, well, you’ll just have to live in your uptightness.”
You see, there’s a beautiful Scripture in Hosea 11:11. This Scripture is literally written to Israel, but, of course, in the Scriptures, they always have underlying depths. It speaks to us also. It says: “And in their own home, the Lord says, I will give them rest.” And I believe this is a principle He gives to us, dear mothers. “In your own home, says the Lord, I will give you rest.”
If you're getting uptight, if you're getting overwhelmed, just sit back and check what are you doing? Are you getting out too much? Are you involved in too many activities? Are you leaving the home too much? Because God’s Word says: “In your own home, says the Lord, I will give you rest.”
That reminds me of Titus 2:5, where it talks about being keepers at home. In the 1599 Geneva Bible, it translates that phrase “being a keeper at home” as “no gadding up and down.” Well, “gadding” is a very old English word. It means “wasting time, running around endlessly.” The editing side note on the Geneva Bible says, “Not running to and fro without necessary occasions, which is a sign of lightness.”
So often we can be gadding about too much. If you're gadding about, and you're overwhelmed, well, just listen to what the Lord says. “In your own home, the Lord says, “I will give you rest.” Amen?
Well, let’s have one or two more Scriptures. Jeremiah 6:16: “Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.”
Isn’t that beautiful? Yes, what is the good way? The good way that God has given. We read about it in Titus 2:3-5 and we read it in Psalm 128. We read it in 1 Timothy 5.10. It’s the good way. God says, “I have given you a good way to mother your children and keep your home.” God says it’s a good way. And here the Scripture says, as we choose that good way, we’ll “find rest unto our souls.”
But once again, it’s not the end of the Scripture. And what does the end of the Scripture say? “But they said, we will not walk therein.” Can you believe it? You see, God always provides a way of rest. But many times, we say no. “I’ve got to do this, and I’ve got to do that, and I will do this, and I will do that.” OK, if you want to keep up that lifestyle, you’ll live in chaos.
If you want rest, do what God says. Come back home and embrace the beauty of your home. Create a restful home. Make more time. I used to find the more I went out with my children, getting them ready, getting them all ready to go. “Hurry up! We’ve got to be there by a certain time!” Goodness me! I was getting uptight and I was getting all the children uptight! And so, we have to watch that so that we’re keeping everyone in rest.
Isaiah 32:18: “And My people” notice “My people.” This may not be the people of the world, but “My people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.”
Let’s go to Isaiah 28:9. I think this passage of Scripture really speaks a lot to homeschooling mothers. It says here, “Whom shall he teach knowledge? and whom shall he make to understand doctrine? them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breasts. For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.”
In verse 12, He says: “This is the rest wherewith ye may cause the weary to rest; and this is the refreshing.” Here God is speaking about His way of teaching. It’s not this great big, “OK, children! All sit down here and you've got to get through all these curriculums, and you’ve got to get through these certain lessons by a certain time.”
No, it’s more relaxing, more restful. It’s “here a little, there a little, line upon line, line upon line; precept upon precept, precept upon precept.” It’s that continual, just little by little, in the home through our daily life. You don’t have to get through everything. No, it’s not even the way children learn. Oh goodness me, by the time they’ve been through all those lessons you wanted to get them through, they won’t have remembered one thing!
It’s better if they just learn a little each day that they will remember. Yes, and then we have to repeat it. It’s “line upon line, precept upon precept; here a little, and there a little.” This is the way. What does God say? “This is the rest, and this is the refreshing.” But guess what? There’s the same thing again. “But they would not hear.”
Isn’t it amazing how God shows us the way, but so often, we just do not want to do it God’s way. Yes, of course, we read the Scriptures. You all know that “thou shalt teach God’s Word diligently to your children, when you talk about them, when you sit in your house, and walk by the way; when you lie down, and when you rise up.”
You see, that’s the picture of the “line upon line, here a little, and there a little.” Make your homeschooling restful lovely mother. Don’t do more than you have to. Just do what is restful for your children, and for your home, and for the atmosphere. You’ll find your children will learn more, little by little, repeating and repeating. Amen.
OK, my lovely ladies, are you getting the picture, and the secret of having a restful home? Let me just finish now with that beautiful Scripture in Matthew 11:28: “Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”
We see the rest two times here. Firstly, when we come to the Lord, it says: “Come unto Me, and I will give you rest.” When we come to the Lord, we find the rest of sins forgiven. But there is a greater rest. As we come to Him daily, and learn of Him, and we submit to His ways, it says there: “Take My yoke upon you.” That means submission to His ways. As we do that, we submit to His ways, and we learn of Him, we will find rest. Not just the rest of “Thank You, Lord, my sins are forgiven” but rest deep in your soul. Soul-rest. It’s the most beautiful thing.
So, no matter what you're going through, you may be going through trials, tribulations, something very difficult at this time. Whatever it is, you can still know rest. Yes, rest in your soul, just like the ocean. Under the turmoil of the waves, the stormy waves on the top, the ocean is calm underneath. Sometimes there are stormy waves in our lives, but we can know His calm, His rest, even our souls, as we live in Him, submit to Him, and yield to His life within us. May you be blessed.
“Dear Father, I thank You for all the precious ladies listening today. I pray that by Your Holy Spirit, You will bring them into Your rest. Lord, my words are feeble, but I pray Your Word, Your living Words that I have given them today, Your Words will be life to them. And that they will find revelation in them, and they will learn to walk in rest in their lives, and in their homes. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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