PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 257: Mothers are the Transmitters of God’s Truth to the Next Generation, Part 9
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 257: Mothers are the Transmitters of God’s Truth to the Next Generation, Part 9
Today we discuss etiquette when going to church. Are you teaching your children these principles? Should we bring iPhones or Bibles to church? What do you think?
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies, and everyone who is listening today! Today I am going to give you another etiquette podcast. Hope you don’t mind! This time it’s about church etiquette. I think there are a few things we need to talk about in this area. I believe that church is really just an extension of our home. If we learn etiquette in the home, we’ll carry it over to the church. But there are a few things that we could talk about today.
MAKE IT OUR HABIT
No. 1. First of all, of course, we’d better get to church! There are a lot of families who don’t get to church. There are a lot of other families who get there haphazardly, whenever it works out. I do believe it is important to be faithful to the gathering of God’s people. We, as parents, need to be faithful, and we need to teach our children to be faithful. It’s one of the biggest examples that we set for them.
We look back to the example of Jesus. In the Word it tells us that He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, “as was His habit” (Luke 4:16). It was the habit of His life since He was a little child to go into the house of God each week. I believe we should make this a habit of our lives.
We all know this Scripture, don’t we, in Hebrews 10:25: “Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together, and so much the more, as you see the day approaching.” God’s Word exhorts us: “Don’t forsake the assembling of yourselves.” You see, precious ones, we’re not just going to a building. We know the church is not a building. It’s the people! We are assembling. We are gathering with the saints.
God knows that we need one another. We need one another to encourage one another in the faith. It’s like a fire of coals. You take one of those beautiful red, burning coals from the fire, put it on the hearth, leave it for a while. Soon it gets black. Soon it gets cold. But you pick up that little coal again and you put it with the other coals that are burning brightly, and soon it begins to burn brightly as well.
God knows we need one another. Our faith is not only a singular faith. Romans 1:12 tells us, “It’s a mutual faith of you and me.” We need one another. I think if we really can’t be bothered meeting with the people of God, we do have a big question to ask ourselves.
IT’S HOW WE PROVE OUR SALVATION
In 1 John 3:14 it says: “We know that we have passed from death unto life.” Why? “Because we love the brethren!” If you love someone, you want to be with them. If you love the people of God, you want to be with them. This is the proof of our salvation. We know that we have passed from death unto life because we love the brethren!
If we are born again and truly love the brethren, there are two things that we will want to do. That is, we will want to meet with the saints of God. It will be our greatest joy.
And two, we’ll want to show hospitality to them because we love being with them!
SEEING ONE ANOTHER FACE TO FACE
I think of some of the examples of Paul’s heart to the believers. When he was writing to the Thessalonians in 1Thessalonians 2:17, he said: “But we, brethren, being taken from you for a short time in presence, not in heart, endeavored the more abundantly to see your face with great desire.” Yes, they were in his heart, but he longed to see their faces.
In chapter 3:6, he says: “Always desiring greatly to see us, and we also to see you.” Then we go down to 2 John 1:12. Here John is writing. He says: “I trust to come unto you and speak face to face, that our joy may be full.” Then in 3 John 1:14, he says, and he was writing to Gaius here: “I trust I shall shortly see you, and we shall speak face to face.”
You see, his desire was not, “Oh well, yes, I love the brethren.” But no! “I long to see you face to face.” Because that is true fellowship. That is true fellowship in our home, when we sit at the table with one another. That’s why we gather our family at the table—face to face, table fellowship. That’s why we gather with the saints, because it is face to face. Not table fellowship, but church fellowship. Let’s get to church! Amen? That’s a good thing, a good habit.
BE ON TIME
No. 2. Let’s get there on time. That’s a big thing too. Once again, I guess it’s our priorities. Well, I’m sure our husbands make sure they’re at work on time, especially if they are working for an employer. If they were continually being late, they would soon be fired.
And yet, how casually we treat meeting with God. God, our Creator, the God of the universe, the Potentate, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. We just meander along to church. Well, if we manage to get there, then we can get there late, walk in late. Where are our hearts? We should be running to meet with the Lord. Running to meet with the people of God. Not just on time, but even trying to be early.
I know that’s not easy when you’ve got a baby, and you’ve got lots of little children. Oh, goodness me. I know. I’ve been there. Some mothers find it a good idea to put their phones on half an hour, even an hour, for Sunday, so that they are working towards the time, actually, that they might get there on time, or a bit over, but really, hopefully early. That can be a good idea.
Actually, getting ready for church doesn’t start on Sunday morning. It really starts the night before, doesn’t it? Preparing the clothes, making sure everything is ready for your children, so you’re not looking everywhere to find socks, find this, find that. No, you check all that the night before, so everyone is ready to get up, get dressed. You plan breakfast. You’ve got it all organized, so they can have a bit of protein to keep them going. You’ve got it all organized. It does take organization, yes. But we can do it, mothers. We can do it.
I remember back in the early days, back in New Zealand. My husband was pastoring. Of course, he would leave for the six-o’clock prayer meeting. They would pray at six o’clock in the morning. He would come back to get me. In those days, I didn’t even have a second car. He would come back to get me, to be ready in time to get there to church on time. I would have to be ready, all six children ready, baby ready, roast meal in the oven, because we would always be having visitors come home after church with us. I did it.
You can actually do what you want to do if you plan it, and if you want to do it. We can do anything we want to do, can’t we? It’s really how much we want to. We show our priorities. We show our children where our priorities are. We try as much to be on time. There are always unforeseen things that happen, of course, God understands that too. But we have it in our heart to do that.
DRESS APPROPRIATELY
Of course, we will come dressed accordingly. That’s why you will prepare your children’s clothes, well, your little ones’ clothes. Your older ones will be deciding what they wear, but of course, you’ll be checking what they wear as they come out of their rooms. Remember, we’re not going to the beach. We’re not going to a barbeque. We’re going to church, so we dress appropriately for the occasion.
If your daughter is coming out of her room, and she’s got on this little, short dress, just covering her bottom, are you just going to let her go? No. You’ll say, “Darling, sorry. We’re not going to the beach this morning. We’re going to the house of God. Just go and put on something that is honoring to God.” And so, we train our children. For our younger children, we’ll have the clothes that they will wear to church ready for them. That is appropriate. We’ll teach our children to come appropriately dressed. Amen?
BRING YOUR BIBLE
And, oh, I really don’t know how to talk about this next point, dear ladies. It’s about the iPhones and Bibles. I am a great believer in bringing our Bibles to church. Well, of course, I know everybody has their Bible on their iPhone these days. I have the Bible on my iPhone. And yes, I do use my iPhone for Bible study. I have a number of apps that really go into the Hebrew and the Greek and give me great understanding of words that I’m studying. I find that such a blessing.
But to tell you the truth, ladies, really, let’s get down to tin tacks. Most people are not really using their iPhones to really study the Word. When they bring their iPhones to church, they are very tempted to get onto other things, and to check their messages, and to even message other people. Oh yes, it’s happening all the time. I have seen people, I’ve observed this, just messaging, messaging other people. Thinking about other things.
HOW RUDE CAN YOU GET?
The preacher is preaching, and they are messaging somebody else! That’s why we don’t have iPhones at our table, in our homes. How rude, when we come together as a family to communicate and share together and some person is messaging someone else that we don’t even know, that is the height of rudeness. Well, it’s even more the height of rudeness when a pastor, a minister, is opening the Word of God, and we’re messaging somebody else. Or we’re just checking another message that’s just come in.
I think iPhones are dangerous in church. I think it would be a good idea not to allow our children to have their iPhones in church, or our young people, because how do we know whether they can trust themselves? Even I myself, I know, I could be tempted myself. These iPhones are the most terribly tempting things in the world and these messages pop up from nowhere! That should not be happening in church. So, I love to take my Bible.
I know another thing today, in so many churches, they put the Scriptures up on the wall. There they are, for everybody to see. Now people have become lazy. There’s hardly a person who brings a Bible to church. We’ve really lost out. There’s something powerful about having your Bible in your hand and looking it up.
Even when a preacher will put his Scriptures up on the screen, I still want to look them up in my Bible, because I’m looking there, and I can underline a word that’s really powerful. I’m also taking notes. I always have my notebook with me. I’m maybe writing down the Scriptures that I want to look at again later. I am involved. Are you really involved?
Well, of course, lovely darling moms with babies, that’s so much harder for you. You have your seasons. Oh goodness, I’ve been through those seasons. In fact, I’ve been through seasons when I think, “What is the use of me even going to church? I spent my whole service in the nursery!” Sometimes that happens.
The whole jolly time I was in the nursery, because this baby needed me, or this toddler was not being very good in church. But it was still worth going. I had to realize that I was still doing what God intended me to do, to assemble with the people. And there were other mothers in the nursery that I could talk to, that I could encourage. I could even be blessed because we were there together. It’s not always perfect. And there are different seasons in your life.
But lovely mothers, if you have a baby, and you’re nursing your baby, you can get your children, even young children, “Can you take notes for Mommy? Because I’ve got to hold Baby, and I’d love to be taking the notes of what the preacher is saying. Can you do that for me?”
You know, at some of my ladies’ retreats, I’ve had young children, five, six, seven years old, sitting in the front seats. They’re taking notes. Some of them are drawing pictures of what I am speaking about. They’ll show me later, and I am just amazed at what they have written! It’s unbelievable! They are involved. They’re listening, and they’ve got their eyes wide open. It’s exciting!
Teach your children to be involved, to take their Bibles, to take a notebook, even as soon as they can learn to write. Or even if they can just draw pictures. Teach them to draw what the preacher is saying. Wow! They can draw amazing things! They are involved. Oh, can you get a vision to see this? Wouldn’t it be amazing? It would be a revival if everybody came back holding their Bibles and looking them up. They would be true disciples!
What does it say in John? Jesus said these words in John 8:31: “Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on Him,” notice that, ladies. He was talking to believers, the people who believed in Him. But then He said: “If you continue in My Word, then are you My disciples indeed, and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” We often quote that Scripture, don’t we? We quote it so glibly. “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Oh, yes, we know it so well.
But we don’t read the verse before it. Jesus was talking to believers, and He said: “If you continue in My Word, then are you My disciples indeed.” Did you know, ladies, that there are believers, and there are disciples? Which one are we? And what are we training our children to be? We can be believers and yet not really disciples of Jesus and His Word.
Did you know that even the devil is a believer? Oh, yes, he believes in the Word, from cover to cover. He knows it and believes it, but he's not a disciple. There are many so-called Christians who are believers, but not disciples. We are only disciples if we continue in His Word, that we really want to get into it.
What does it say in 2 Timothy 2:15? This is a Scripture that I took hold of. I memorized it from a young person. “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” A disciple is one who, well, the word “disciple,” I’m sure you know it means “a learner, a pupil, one who receives instruction and makes it his rule of conduct.” If we’re a disciple, we’re constantly learning.
If our children are disciples, they are learning. They will have their Bibles with them at church because they will be looking up the Scriptures. They want to learn. They’re pupils! They don’t just sit there and play with some stupid thing, or look around, or goof off with every other young child they’re looking at. No, we’re teaching them to be disciples. “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman.” We’re working at it.
It reminds me of a great commentator, Alexander MacClaren. I read how that whenever he was preparing his sermons, or writing some theological book, he would go into his study, and he would put on his working boots, so that even as he was at his study, studying, he would realize he was working. I love that.
LET’S HAVE A REVIVAL OF PEOPLE BRINGING THEIR BIBLES TO CHURCH
I’d love to suggest that we all take our Bibles. I’d love to see a revival of everyone bringing their Bibles back to church. I don’t even like preachers preaching from their iPhones. Most of them do today. They’ve got their iPhones, and they’re trying to find the place, and it doesn’t even seem right. Can’t they get out a real Bible? Oh, goodness me! But if we all began to do it, we would encourage others.
TRY THE FRONT SEATS
Another thing is where you sit when you go to church. Now, I know that you, if you’ve got little children, and especially a baby, you’re going to be at the back. But do you know it’s not actually the best place? Do you know, now you wouldn’t believe it, but it’s true, the front seats are the most powerful place to be, even for families.
When I would sit in the front seat with my family, of course, maybe my husband is at the front preaching. Well, look out if they do something wrong! But still, even if it’s someone else preaching, somehow, they’re right under the eye of the preacher. There are no distractions because when you’re at the back, there are so many distractions! You’re looking at this and that, and your children have got so many distractions. There are other children around, and there are all distractions around you. Oh, goodness me! The most distracting place!
But the closer you get to the front, and even the front seats, your children will be better behaved. You will be amazed! Now, if they get difficult, you’ve just got to take them out. But it’s amazing the difference in their behavior. It’s worth thinking about.
If you don’t have little ones, get nearer to the front. Get your children, your children will be so much more involved. The front seats are the most powerful seats in church. They really are. I challenge you to try that, because it does really work.
Let’s think about a few other things here. If you do come in late, sometimes things happen, and someone is praying. Well, you wait until they have finished praying before you walk to find your seat. That is courtesy.
IT’S VERY RUDE
Don’t whisper to people or have a little conversations while the preacher is speaking. It’s terribly rude. Although I mainly just speak to women, and even in women’s meetings, I can’t believe it. I will see women chatting to one another at the back or whispering to one another. Or sometimes I can see them on their iPhones, and I know they’re messaging.
Can you understand what it does to the person who is speaking? My mind is quite . . . I don’t quite know what to do. I think to myself, often my thoughts will just leave me!!!! I think, “What am I doing? I might as well just stop. They’re going to be talking to someone else. They’re going to be messaging. Why am I even speaking?” It’s unbelievably rude!
Maybe if you’re not even in a church, but you’re at some other meeting where there’s a speaker. It is the rudest thing in the world to chat to someone, whisper to someone, while they are speaking! We should always give undivided attention. We have to teach our children these things. There’s so much of what people today that’s so rude! And they don’t even know it’s rude! They just do it.
Forgive me, darling ladies. Forgive me, young people. I’m saying these things, and forgive me, I’m saying it’s rude. But it is rude. We’ve got to wake up to the fact that we’ve got to teach this generation. We do it by example, that we give our undivided attention when someone is speaking! We do that personally and we do that when they’re speaking publicly. Anything else is rudeness. It really is.
You know, that never used to happen. There was awe and reverence in churches in bygone days. Today, there is such a casualness. I think a lot of it is just because we haven’t passed on true church etiquette. So, dear lovely mothers, can we begin to teach our children these things? Of course, as I said, we have to show by example. If they see us messaging, well, that’s, of course, what they’re going to do. If they see us talking to someone, of course, that’s what they’ll do. We show it by our example of how we want them to be.
Also teach your children not to wander in and out of church. It’s amazing to see people coming in, coming out. It’s amazing. I cannot believe it. There are two places where suddenly people want to go to the toilet! One is at the family meal table. Oh, you have to train your children! Goodness me, they want to get up and down to the toilet! They can play for hours and never go. But suddenly, when they’re sitting at the table, oh, they have to go to the toilet so many times!
And then, even at church, people, not even just children, but sometimes adults, they have to end up going to the toilet so many times! What’s wrong with them?? Goodness, they can last a lot longer when they’re doing other things! Somehow, we have to train our children in these things, don’t we?
When you come, come with cleansed and prepared hearts to come to worship the Lord. Don’t come with unforgiveness or bitterness against anyone, especially if you’re going to take communion. Goodness me, don’t take communion if you’ve got something in your heart against someone.
COME TO BLESS OTHERS, NOT JUST TO GET
Don’t come just to get, oh my, people come to church, and then they’ll say, “Oh, goodness me! Nobody talks to me. Why do I come? Nobody notices me. Nobody talks to me.” There’s all these excuses and self-pity. Goodness me! We don’t come to the assembling of the saints just to get, well, we would get, if we did. But we come, first of all, to give to God His praise and worship that He is so worthy of. We come to bless others.
Always come to church thinking, “Who can I talk to today? What little word of encouragement can I give to someone today?” At the end of the service, don’t just rush off. No! You see, that’s the trouble today. A lot of people think, “OK, church is just come; you come to hear the speaker, and then off you run!”
No, it’s coming to meet with the people of God! Don’t rush away until you’ve found someone to say hello to. Maybe someone who is new, someone you’ve never seen before. Talk to them. Give someone a little encouragement. Of course, the most ideal is either of two things.
One, that your church has a fellowship meal after the service, which we do in our fellowship. We have a fellowship meal every Sunday, which is so wonderful, so glorious. In fact, church is only part of church for the meeting time. The next half is the fellowship time because that is what God brings us for, to fellowship with one another, and break bread with one another, and love one another, and pray for one another.
Just to find out where one another are in their lives and what’s been happening during the week. Where can I help and what can I pray for? Oh, if we don’t have that, we really are not fulfilling the true assembling of ourselves together.
Now if your church doesn’t have that, you can still have it by showing hospitality. We have had different seasons in our lives, and we’ve been pastoring different churches where we didn’t have a fellowship meal. In those situations, we would always have hospitality. We would never leave the church gathering without asking a family home for a meal, or more than one family to come home and fellowship with us. Oh, it is such a blessing! And so needed. This is what real fellowship is.
That’s why I think what happened when this crazy plandemic happened, and they tried to shut down the churches. So many, so sadly, oh, what an indictment against the church of God, that so many shut down. They said, “Oh, well. That’s OK. We can have Zoom meetings.” Because their whole concept of church was just a meeting! They did not understand that it’s fellowship. You can’t fellowship on a Zoom meeting.
We need one another. That was really from Satan, to shut down churches so that the saints, the people of God, could not meet together. Well, they could, because there was no need for them to stay home, no need for the churches to shut down, because it was against the Constitution, and it was against the living Word of God. We obey God, and we obey the Constitution, not what some man says. So that’s why we need to seek to have fellowship as much as we can.
Now, what else can I share with you?
DON’T RUN HOME IMMEDIATELY
That is very important. Try to begin to ask someone home, to have fellowship, and have hospitality. Such a beautiful thing. I remember one time in our lives when I said to Colin, “Oh, look, every Sunday we have people home. It’s a lot of work.” Yes, hospitality is work, but it’s a blessing also.
I said to him, “Let’s just have a rest. Let’s just be together today.” Well, we did it. We didn’t ask anyone home. Well, it was the most boring Sunday of our whole lives! We just sat and looked at one another. Help! It was so boring. We didn’t have that beautiful fellowship of people that we would normally have. We never ever did that again. So, precious ladies, those are just a few thoughts about when we come together. I hope you can take them up too and be blessed. Amen?
“Oh, Lord God, we love You. We thank You that You have established everything in Your Word to show us the way, to show us, Lord, how we can truly live in the full victory of our Christian lives. Part of that is meeting with one another, gathering with one another, assembling with one another, blessing one another, praying for one another, showing hospitality to one another, forbearing one another. Lord, all these “one anothers” that You’ve given us in Your Word, help us to be people who are one-anothering each other, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together.
“Lord God, help us to be truly families who are discipling families. Lord, we are ready to learn all we can. Lord, we’re not taking Your Word casually. Oh, God, we love Your Word, and we are putting into our children our love for Your Word.
“Oh, we even love to hold Your Word. It’s so powerful! Lord, we pray that our children will get a love for Your Word. They’ll want to take their Bibles with them when they go to church. They’ll want to get their Bibles out each day and search in Your Word. Help us, oh God, to be true disciples of You, and to raise disciples.
“I pray for Your blessing on every family, Lord, that we will no longer be ordinary, casual families, but, Lord, we will be families who are bringing revival to our churches, Oh God. Lord, bringing our Bibles, sitting in the front seats, with our notebooks and our pens, looking up at the preacher with excited faces, Lord God. Oh, Father, this would just change the atmosphere! Lord, help us to bring revival wherever we go! Oh, God, we ask it in the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
ETIQUETTE POSTERS
Seven Etiquette Posters to Bless Your Home! Pin them up all over your home to encourage better manners in your children. You can also laminate them and use them as place mats at the table.
Home Etiquette
Speech Etiquette
Table Etiquette
Daily Life Etiquette
Hospitality Etiquette
Church Etiquette
Work Force Etiquette
You will notice that we have CHURCH ETIQUETTE included.
To order, go to: http://bit.ly/EtiquettePosters
Snippets:
I love these posters. Such great home school and disciplinary tools for parents to instill in their children. Each poster focuses on character qualities that are essential for children as they mature to being godly men and women for the Lord. A wonderful resource to purchase.
I like these posters. When I ordered them, I expected to receive something LARGER than what they are and that is fine with me. The posters are COLORFUL and just the right size to preserve in page protectors. In addition, they have timeless words we can learn from.