PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 326: What Do You Do While You Wait for The Man of Your Dreams? Part 2
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 32
6: What Do You Do While You Wait for The Man of Your Dreams? Part 2
CALL YOUR TEENS AND YOUNG DAUGHTERS AGAIN TO LISTEN TO THIS SESSION.
Caitlin continues to share her heart regarding what helps her to stay focused in her single years. We also talk about THE HOPE CHEST, or THE GLORY BOX, which we call it Down Under. Do your daughters have a Hope Chest? You’ll love to hear about this wonderful idea.
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Yes, we are doing another podcast with Caitlin. We’ll be talking to the young people, too, so if you’ve got your girls with you, call out. Yell at them to come. And the little girls too. They’ll want to hear everything, because there are more things to talk about. OK, Caitlin, start off!
Caitlin: Yes, yes! I wanted to mention, I didn’t mention this in the last podcast. Just the fact that God writes everyone’s story so differently. I found in my life that a person can be the greatest pillar of joys. It isn’t easy sometimes to see what another woman has. Maybe there’s just this one young woman who is even younger than you and she’s got a husband. She’s got children.
That can be hard to look at, but it’s so important to just keep your sights set on what God has for you. His timing is so divine. It’s going to be different for everybody. So, don’t compare your story with someone else’s because that will bring such discouragement.
Also, don’t feel like you were saying in the last podcast, that you have to go with the social norm, or the status quo. One season is not necessarily more important than another. Don’t become discouraged because God can use you in your season of singleness just as powerfully as He can use you in your married and mothering season. I think that’s so important to keep in mind whenever we are waiting, is that God can use us, no matter where we are in life, and to be open to His working.
Nancy: I do believe it’s so important in single years to be giving your life in ministry. I do believe it, in the home, and out of the home, because what is motherhood? Motherhood is the outpouring of your nurturing heart. That is what it is. Motherhood is far bigger than, oh, suddenly, you’re married, and a baby comes along. Now you’re a mother.
No, that’s not the absolute truth. The absolute truth is that we as females are mothers from the very beginning of our lives until we meet Jesus. There is a season of childbearing where we bear children. To be truthful, the true season of childbearing is from our later youth until menopause. Many, many women today think, “Oh, motherhood ends at 30, 35 or so.” No, the practicality of embracing children is in our childbearing years which is up to menopause.
But then, that’s not just the confining of motherhood. No, it’s our whole life, because it’s bigger than just the actual rearing of children. It is the revelation of God’s maternal heart. It is the pouring out of His heart, His nurturing heart to bless and minister to others. We start this before we are married.
Caitlin: Yes, before we are married.
Nancy: In fact, we naturally start it as little girls. I watch the little girls on the Hilltop. Sunday after church fellowship we have fellowship meals and the little girls all play together. What do they do? They do either of these two things. One, they go to the dress-up box, and they dress up like princesses.
Or they gather in the little dolls or the real babies because there are lots of real babies around. They’re holding the babies, and they’ve all got a baby. If they haven’t got a real baby, they’ve got a toy baby. They’ve all got a baby each. They are mothering. They’re playing Mommies and Daddies. They are mothering. It is in them. Nobody said, “Oh, well, you better go and play dolls.” No, no one mentions it. They just do it! Because it’s in them.
We should be continuing this. What about in our single years? This is the ultimate, not living unto yourself because this is what most young people do. They think, “Oh, this is my time of life when I live for myself, and I do what I want.” No, we already are beginning to pour out our lives for others. Do you remember this morning, one of our verses in our family devotions? Colin read it and it really popped out at me.
Caitlin: Yes.
Nancy: 1 Corinthians 10:24: “Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth.” That’s King James language so I looked up some other translations. Before I did that, I went to the Greek. I also do that to see the original, to find that the word “wealth” is not there. It stops there. That’s just put in.
Other translations say: “No one should seek his own good, but the good of others.”
The New Living Translation: “Don’t be concerned for your own good, but for the good of others.”
You go to Philippians 2:3: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” As a young person, we say, “Lord, who do You want me to bless and minister to? How do You want me to pour out my life?”
Caitlin: Right, because if we don’t have a heart for serving others and serving the Lord now, how will that switch?
Nancy: You’re not going to be prepared for motherhood. In fact, you're going to find motherhood a very big challenge.
Caitlin: Yes!
Nancy: This is the greatest preparation for motherhood. You begin to see ways to minister to others. As you pray about it, and ask God, He will open up doors. He will open up opportunities. If you're still living at home, you may want to have a Joy Time club in your home, where you bring in children to teach them about Jesus. I used to have a Joy Time club in my home.
You can have a heart for widows, to bless them and minister to them, to lonely people, to hurting people. There are so many people who are hurting and needy. Wow! You can have a great ministry! You can be a Mother Teresa before you ever find your man as you begin to pour out your life!
Caitlin: Absolutely.
Nancy: That’s really . . . the girls, the young people who find this, who realize this, and will pray, “Lord, show me how You want me to pour out my life, they will have the greatest life, because your greatest life is pouring out your life for others.
There’s another Scripture that says that: “We no longer live unto ourselves, but unto Him, who died for us and rose again.” (2 Corinthians 5:15). We no longer live unto ourselves.
If you're living unto yourself as a young person, just having your great time, well, you're really living a selfish, boring life which is being wasted. If we do not want to waste our lives, we start pouring out our lives for others. That, as you said, will be different for every person. Some will leave to go out on a mission trip, maybe overseas. Some will minister around their own communities, reaching out to needy areas. Some will get involved in a, what do you call it? I’ve forgotten the name, where you are caring for people who are pregnant?
Caitlin: Crisis pregnancy center.
Nancy: Crisis pregnancy groups. That’s a marvelous thing to get into as a young person. There are so many areas and so many wonderful things to get involved in, to pour out your life to minister to others. Ask the Lord what He wants you to do instead of filling your life with all the things that you think you want to do.
Caitlin: Yes, yes! Just sitting idly, and waiting for your life to begin, because your life and mission begins now.
Nancy: Amen! Your life is beginning now!
Caitlin: It’s such an exciting thing, just asking the Lord, “What do You have for me? What mission do You have for my life, God?”
Nancy: Absolutely! Your greatest joy comes from serving the Lord which is serving others. The only way you can serve the Lord is to serve others. That’s how you serve the Lord. If you're not serving others, laying down your life, putting aside things that every other young person is doing. No, you're going to be ministering to those who are needy. That’s serving the Lord!
Caitlin: “As you’ve done unto the least of these, you've done unto Me.” It’s so true. I also wanted to mention, because I was talking with my dear friend Mrs. Schrum the other day about how it is so beautiful to desire marriage, and to desire motherhood, even right now. It’s tied in very well with what we’re talking about, serving others, and focusing on God’s will for your life right now.
There’s nothing wrong with desiring marriage. In fact, it’s such a good thing for women to desire marriage. We mustn’t, however, allow that desire for marriage to become an idol in our lives, and to be a stumbling block, something that prevents us from serving the Lord in our season right now, and serving others.
I think it’s easy for the enemy to get into our minds, and to distract us sometimes with the good things in life, because he’s not going to able to attract us, since we’re Christians, with the bad things, usually. He oftentimes uses those good things, those great beautiful desires in our hearts and uses that to distract us from God’s will and plan for our lives. I think it is something to be aware of, that we can see that.
Nancy: But I don’t think that will happen if you're pouring out your life for others. It will not happen because that’s what you're focused on. I always say the greatest way to find the man that God has for you, or for God to bring him to you, because that is more scriptural.
Actually, if you go to Genesis, the pattern for everything is in the beginning of the Word of God, even in the first three chapters of Genesis. You find the pattern. We see here, when God created the woman, what was the first thing He did? It says in Genesis 2:22: “And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman,” and what did God do?
What was the first thing that He did when He made that woman? I wonder if anybody knows. You’re listening. Do you know?
Let me tell you. The first thing He did . . . He brought the woman to the man. That is the most beautiful thing. That was the first thing God did. He brought the woman to the man. That is God’s heart for you.
Young person, if you are listening, God will bring you to the man that He has chosen for you. The best way for that to happen is to be in the perfect will of God. If you are walking in His will, at that perfect moment you're going to meet that person! God is going to bring him to you, in the midst of your serving Him, and laying down your life for others. That’s just how it happens. You don’t have to go looking for him, getting in desperation, waiting for him. No, you pour out your heart. Be who God created you to be. Be the woman He created you to be.
By the way, be a woman, because the Bible says: “He brought the woman to the man.” The woman, the woman that He created. She was a woman, a female. She was not like a man. She was the opposite to the man. Do not try to be like a man. Be in every way the woman God wants you to be. Be female. Be feminine. Be everything God wants you to be as a woman because He’s bringing the woman to the man. That’s who He wants to bring to the man. He will do that, if you are walking in His perfect will.
Caitlin: Yes, I think as women, it’s so important to remember that our strength is in our dependency, our dependency upon the Lord. And then, eventually, our dependency will also be on our husbands. We, as women, are not to be completely and totally independent as the world may try to tell us. Dependency can be a beautiful thing.
Nancy: Yes, it is a glorious thing. Now, our time is going again. There’s something you mentioned to me, and I’d love to talk about it. That you also have a Hope Chest that you are preparing for one day when God brings this man into your life. Tell me about how you do that.
Caitlin: As I mentioned, it is such a beautiful thing, to hope and to dream, and to desire a godly man. In those years of waiting and preparation, I love to prepare with a Hope Chest. A Hope Chest is something that my mother had when she was a young woman, dreaming and preparing for her future husband and family. It’s something that’s been done for generations. But it’s something that’s lost today. It really is. Not many young ladies know about what a Hope Chest is, so I often find myself explaining this to young women. But it’s such a beautiful thing.
I have a chest in my room. It’s got beautiful scrollwork and everything. I asked if I could use it as a little seating nook. I do my Bible reading on the top of it. I sit on it. It’s like my little seating area. But it opens up the top and I fill it with all the little things that I want to store away for someday, whenever God brings a man into my life, and I become a wife, and eventually a mother, and have a home of my own.
I fill the box with things that I will need someday in setting up my future home. I have dishes and measuring cups, and I have linens, and china, and different things that have been given to me, maybe, or I like to find things at Goodwill. I store them away for someday. It helps me to keep my sights set on, “OK, God, You have a beautiful plan for me, and someday this may come to fruition.”
I pray over each of the items that I put in there. As I put all the items in there, I pray for my future husband. I pray for my future family. I pray for that day to come. I think that’s also so important, is to pray right now, in your youth, in your years of waiting, for your future spouse, because that man is going to need prayer. We need to pray that he’s seeking after the Lord right now and that he is being prepared for your future family, to be the leader in the home, the spiritual leader that God has called him to be. And that his heart will be ready for you, whenever that time comes.
I think that’s so important, to pray over him, and then pray over your future children as well, because like you said, the future generations, that’s what it’s all about, is raising these generations for Christ. But back to the Hope Chest, yes, that’s been something that I’ve really enjoyed, and it might be something that some other young women want to do.
Nancy: I’m so glad that you brought that up, Caitlin, because if you don’t have a Hope Chest, I’d love you to think about it. It is such a beautiful thing, which was, as you say, was done for generations, and is being lost today. In America, you call it a “Hope Chest.” In fact, I was reading, actually many years ago, that it used to be called a “wedding chest,” or sometimes a “dowry chest.” Then it became known as the “Hope Chest,” but not Down Under, where we come from.
Down Under, in New Zealand, where we were born and raised, of course that’s of English origin. Back in England, Australia, New Zealand, we call it the “Glory Box.” I love “Hope Chest,” because it gives you hope of all that’s to come, but also the “Glory Box” is also wonderful, thinking of the glory of getting married and raising a family.
Caitlin: Yes, the glory of womanhood.
Nancy: I love that. I actually did write a little poem about the Glory Box, because when I was giving a Glory Box to some of my older grand-daughters, we purchased cedar boxes for them. They have a beautiful, lovely aroma which is lovely for everything that you put in them. Let me read to you what I wrote.
I dream of the day I’ll walk down the aisle,
In a beautiful dress, with an amazing style.
I pray for my man, that he’ll be righteous and true.
Hardworking, faithful, and really true-blue.
I pray he’ll love children and have a father’s heart.
And from our marriage covenant never depart.
I will wait with patience for this godly man,
And while I’m waiting, I’ll prepare and plan,
I’ll make myself ready in every way,
Purifying my heart and character each day.
I’ll seek to be honest in all that I say
To keep my marriage from going astray.
I’ll fill my Glory Box with wares for my home,
To make it a place from where we’ll never roam.
I will gather treasures useful and rare,
To make our home a place that is fair.
I will be ready to make my home a delight,
Filled with God’s presence, His love, and light.
Enhanced by the assets I save in this chest,
To make our home a glory, the very best.
Caitlin: That’s so beautiful!
Nancy: It’s a great idea to save things. These are some of the things you’ve already mentioned. Some things that you can put in your Hope Chest, or your Glory Box. You mentioned linens, tablecloths. I think it’s lovely when you find some beautiful tablecloths to put away, because I think tablecloths are very, very precious in the home. The table is the heart of the home, and I think it’s a wonderful thing to even dream about it.
When you go into marriage, you’re going to make your table a very special place. Even when you start off with just your husband and you. One day it will grow, and there will be little ones all around your table and bigger ones. And you’ll get a bigger table. But to start off with knowing that the table is special. God sees it as special. A tablecloth is a beautiful thing.
In Proverbs it tells us that the wise woman sets her table. She makes it beautiful. You can often go to different places, even maybe a Goodwill, and you’ll see a beautiful tablecloth, something that’s different, something that’s special. Well, that’s a beautiful thing to put away in your Glory Box that you’ll be able to bring out one day.
Caitlin: I have a tablecloth. I have several items. Actually, I was going through my grandmother’s old things, and she was letting me take things to put into my Hope Chest. So, I have a tablecloth in there, a hand-embroidered tablecloth. Little things like that are so special.
Nancy: And that’s coming down the generations.
Caitlin: Yes! Little things like that. Keep your eyes open for those, ladies, because they’re so special. Someday, you’ll set your table, and you’ll be able to think of all the generations of women who set their tables before you.
Nancy: You’ll get gifts for your wedding, so you’ll get gifts. But there are special things. When people buy wedding gifts, they usually order them off the registry and so on. But the things that you're looking for are very special and unique, things that nobody is going to buy. You’re going to get them, and it makes them so special, doesn’t it?
Caitlin: Yes!
Nancy: We need aprons. Yes, special, glorious aprons that you can have, because aprons wear out. Oh goodness me, if you look at my aprons, wow! I’ll get a beautiful apron but it’s not long before it’s all dirty. I wash it, but it’s still got all those stains on it. I need aprons, because if I didn’t wear aprons, I’d really dirty my clothes.
Caitlin: Right! I love aprons! I love keeping them as a uniform of the homemaker. I use aprons now in my work that I do at home, as a homemaker-in-training.
Nancy: Yes, and sewing kits. Little treasures that you think would be beautiful to have in your home. And recipes. Even inspiration and so forth. All kinds of things. It’s a lovely idea. It made me think of an article I printed in Above Rubies years ago.
I don’t think any of you would even remember it. It was written by Val Stares. Val Stares is the Director of Above Rubies in Australia. Van has been with me in the ministry of Above Rubies from the very, very beginning. We’ve been doing it for 47 years now.
We started it in New Zealand, and I’ll never forget the day when I was up at the hospital, visiting a friend. Her little boy was sick in the hospital. Val was there, and I said to her, “Val! We are going to begin a magazine to get out across the nation to encourage mothers and homemakers!” She looked at me with this blank stare, wondering what on earth I was talking about. Her name is “Stares.” Well, she gave me just this blank stare!
I didn’t even know that that morning she had said to the Lord, “If Nancy Campbell comes up with any more of her great ideas, I’m not getting involved!” I was always getting her involved in things. Well, she got involved and she’s still involved today!
But I would ask that you pray for her. I’ve just heard that Val, although she’s still seeking to look after Above Rubies, is actually bedridden at the moment. She can’t lift her arms, and she can’t lift her feet. She really does need a prayer of healing and deliverance. Pray for her. Those of you listening in Australia, maybe you can contact Val and encourage her in some way.
Well, anyway, Val wrote this article years ago about her eldest granddaughter when she became 13. Val thought, “We’re going to do something different, something special.” So, Val and her daughter Natalie got together, and they decided they would have, because it’s Down Under, they would have a Glory Box party. Val’s husband, who is the most amazing guy with wood, made this beautiful, beautiful Glory Box for her.
Then they decided to have a surprise party. It was a surprise Glory Box party. They were going to have a special celebration for her 13th birthday, but they didn’t tell her what it was going to be. Everybody else knew, and they were all bringing special gifts for her Glory Box.
Caitlin: Oh, that’s a beautiful idea!
Nancy: And also, along with that, inspiration and blessings for her coming marriage one day that she could have. Some special friend said, “OK, we’re taking you out to a restaurant. We’re driving you.” So, they took her in the car, and she was dressed up, because they knew it was going to be a formal thing. They were driving around. They played loud music to try to confuse her. They drove all around.
Eventually they arrived back home because it was in the home. She comes in and sees all her friends here. Not just her friends her age, but the mothers. And there is the beautiful Glory Box. They had a beautiful formal dinner, gloriously set tables, and speeches. Then they gave her all the gifts for her Glory Box.
Caitlin: That’s so precious!
Nancy: Wasn’t that a beautiful thing to do. for a 13th birthday?
Caitlin: Yes!
Nancy: Now, ladies, wow! Mothers, some of you might like to take that up. Maybe you want to do it for your daughter’s 16th birthday, or even her 18th birthday. But Val thought, “Wow, let her get started early on her 13th birthday!”
Caitlin: It’s never too early to start dreaming, and planning, and preparing for the future. One thing I love that you said was that the women brought wisdom. Ladies, I want to tell you that it’s been so important to me, in these years of preparation, to have women, older women who have a wealth of knowledge like Nana here. She’s just pouring into my life.
I like to say I have the Hope Chest of my mind, where I store away little tips and tidbits of information that I’m keeping for that day. Because, yes, you may be listening to an older mother talking about how she mothers her children, or how she likes to do this or that or the other, like preparing her table.
You may be thinking, “That doesn’t apply to me right now.” But take note, because someday it will. It will be so important, and you will wish that you had taken note of those things, those little bits of wisdom in your youth, so that you can then apply it in your life as a mother. That’s something that I love to encourage young ladies to do, is to find others who are wise, and who they look up to, who are mothers and wives, and really glean from their wealth of knowledge and wisdom.
Nancy: Oh, yes! Yes. That is so wonderful. And how’s our time, girls? How are we going? Oh, we’re getting close, aren’t we? Anyway, please, I hope that if you aren’t already getting your daughters . . . It’s not really something they can get themselves. It’s usually something parents will get for their daughters. That’s something lovely you can think about, even for a special birthday, I think that’s so wonderful.
Caitlin: I think my parents gave me my Hope Chest when I was about 15 years old. And that was something that my mother’s parents had given her as well. That’s just such a special thing.
Nancy: Before we close this session, Caitlin and I actually think we’re going to do one more session, because there’s something else I want to ask you. I think it may take the whole session, but if you've got anything else in your heart to share as we close this session.
Caitlin: Oh, yes. I think it’s so important, like we’ve been saying, in all things, surrender it all to God. Your hopes, your dreams, your desires as a young woman. Surrender it all to the Lord. It’s OK to cry out to the Lord, even if tears come, because it is such a burning desire in our hearts as women.
But seek after His will wholeheartedly and ask Him what it is He wants to teach you during this time. Ask Him to prepare your heart for that season of marriage and motherhood later on. Don’t be afraid to make your requests known to God. Don’t feel guilty for desiring motherhood. Don’t feel guilty for desiring a husband.
Nancy: That’s normal!
Caitlin: It’s so normal! In fact, he loves to tell us, put that little feeling in the corner. Don’t worry about desiring that now.
Nancy: We’re allowed to dream about it.
Caitlin: Allow yourself to dream, and to hope, and to plan for the future, because it’s such a natural God-given desire. It’s healthy for us, as women.
Nancy: It’s part of being a woman.
Caitlin: Yes, and to revel and glory in that.
Nancy: We glory in these womanly things. We don’t cast them aside.
One more session, because it will be an important one. It will take a whole session, I think. Let’s pray.
And we’ve got to hurry because we’re all going to the THM Café for lunch today. We’ve got people waiting to get in the car.
Caitlin: Haven and Gedi waited for us.
Nancy: “Dear Father, we thank You again that we can talk about these beautiful things, Lord God, because they’re how You made us. I pray that You will bless all the young people, the children, and the beautiful mothers listening today, Lord God.
“I pray, Father, for all the beautiful young godly women who are seeking to walk in Your ways. I pray that You will bring godly young men into their lives, Lord God. Oh Father, I ask that You will, in Your wonderful, wonderful way, that You will bring these godly men, and You will cause them, Lord, to find them in that perfect time, just as you did at the very beginning. You brought the woman to the man.
“We pray that you’ll bring these beautiful young ladies, Lord, to the man that You have chosen, a man who loves you with all his heart. We ask You for this in the Name of Jesus. Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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Transcribed by Darlene Norris
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