WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LEAVE AND CLEAVE?

 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”
(Genesis 2:24).

To be married, we must do three things: leave, cleave, and become one flesh.

We are going to discover what it truly means “to cleave.” However, before we can cleave, we must first leave. The word “leave” is azab and means “to loosen, relinquish, forsake.” This doesn’t mean that we forget about our parents. We continue to enjoy a loving and close relationship with them. However, we must understand that when we get married, we begin a new family.

The husband is now responsible to provide for his wife. He doesn’t rely on his parents to provide for her. He must leave the dependence upon his parents for provision to “man up,” work hard, and provide for his new wife and coming family. The wife no longer relies upon her parents for provision, but upon her husband. He is now her provider and protector. She now looks to her husband for her needs instead of her parents.

She no longer looks to her parents for protection and leadership. She looks to her husband and he must rise up to take this privilege and responsibility.

Both leave behind their single lives which have often been motivated by selfishness. The young husband cannot do what he likes when he likes any longer. He is responsible for his wife—and preparing to provide for children to come. And if the couple are not thinking about coming children, they are not yet ready for marriage.

The couple leaves behind their single socialness. Of course, they will enjoy friendships with other couples and families, but never again will they go on a date, or even for a cup of coffee with a friend of the opposite sex. Marriage is “forsaking all others.” There are too many couples who think they can spend time on their own with the opposite sex. It never works. It destroys the marriage. When you get married you are no longer two PEOPLE , but one (Matthew 19:5).

The couple will no longer hang out with their single friends in the way they did before. They leave behind this lifestyle. It is a new lifestyle. Once again, it doesn’t mean they will discard their old friends. They can invite them to a meal at their home, but they won’t spend time “hanging out” with them when they could be with their spouse.

When a new baby is born, someone cuts the umbilical cord so the baby can be released to grow into its new life in this world. When a daughter or son marry, they also must cut the umbilical cord to their parents so they can experience the fulness of their new life as a married couple.

 We must leave when we begin the marriage, but I believe we continue leaving all throughout our marriage. We make the decision to leave when other relationships could take precedence over our marriage relationship. If friendships with others are overclouding our marriage relationship, we step back and leave!

It can often be a temptation when difficult financial times arise in a marriage to go back to wealthy parents. But once again, we must remember that we have left! Of course, many parents will help their married children financially, but even when they bless us, we must remember that our dependence is not upon them. We can continue to be blessed by their words of encouragement and wisdom into our lives, but they no longer have the right to dominate or exercise final authority.

When you face a dilemma in your marriage, you will often know the answer by adhering to the “leave and cleave” truth. For example, “Do I need to leave this situation or relationship? If it is going to weaken your “cleaving relationship” in any way, the answer is to leave. “Will becoming involved in this organization or group weaken my “cleaving relationship” with my husband?” If so, don’t do it. “If I do this thing, will it help me to cleave more to my husband?” If not, don’t do it. Get the picture?

It is very interesting to note that when God established this principle of “therefore shall a man leave his father and mother,” there was yet no father and mother on the earth! God was laying down His foundation of truth for marriage for all future generations.

This message is so important that Jesus emphasized it again in Matthew 19:4-6 and Paul revealed the truth again in Ephesians 5:22-33. Paul spoke of marriage as the great mystery of revealing the relationship of Christ and His beloved bride, the church. Verses 31 and 32 say: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”

When we come to Christ, we leave behind our old life, our old relationships, and our old ways. We are now joined to Christ and one with Him. We have entered a new kingdom, the kingdom of Christ, and we embark on living a totally new lifestyle. Our marriage relationship pictures this great truth. How important that we do not disfigure this beautiful picture.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

www.aboverubies.org

PRAYER:

‘Thank You, dear Father, that marriage is Your design. You chose this earthly way of revealing your heavenly and ultimate plan of the marriage of Jesus Christ to His bride, the church. Please help me to live in such a way that I show a true example of this truth through our marriage. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

I joyfully leave any situation or any organization that weakens cleaving to my husband.