PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 219: The Four L’s of Raising Children, Part 3
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 219: The Four L’s of Raising Children, Part 3
Michele and I speak today about teaching our children to work. No, not how to work, but how to LOVE TO LABOR! How do we instill this love to work in our children? Check it out.
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Well, Michele is here with me again! Our third podcast together, and we’re going to start another word that begins with “L.” What is it today, Michele?
Michele: LOVE LABOR.
Nancy: Whoa! Love labor! Teaching our children how to love work. We didn’t say how to work. No, how to LOVE work. There’s a big difference, isn’t there?
But, before we even get onto that, I still have something to share from last week about loving to learn. I mentioned, of course, in the last two podcasts, how important it is to learn, but first of all, how to listen. We need to learn the art of listening to know how to obey. We need to learn the art of listening in order to know how to learn. It comes from listening. There are two very lovely words about listening in the Bible. Many, of course, but the two main ones I’d like to share with you.
The first one is in that story in 1 Kings 3:3-14, where God came to Solomon and said: “Solomon, ask Me what you like.” And what did Solomon ask for? He asked for a listening heart, a hearing heart. Now, we don’t often pick that up as we read it. I’ll read it here for you. 1 Kings 3, looking for it here.
Michele: Well, as you look for that, it reminds me of how Solomon had a teachable spirit. If you want to hear and listen, you have to have the spirit to want to be taught. That teachable spirit, he’s asking the Lord for something here. It’s pretty amazing. I want to have a teachable spirit. I want my children to be able to have that teachable spirit where they will want to learn.
Nancy: There, in 1 Kings 3:9: “Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?” He asked for an “understanding heart.”
The word is shema in the Hebrew. That word literally means “to hear with attention and obedience, to give undivided attention.” That word is often used, “to hear.” That’s the word that is used. He asked for a hearing heart. Then it goes on, where God says, “Yes, and I will give you a heart to discern.” Discerning also comes out of hearing.
Then there’s another word for hearing. That is in the story of Saul. King Saul, God told him to go out and to wipe out the Amorites, I think it was. He had to get rid of them completely. everything that breathed, and all the animals.
But Saul didn’t obey completely. He kept some of the animals. His excuse was that “I kept them to sacrifice to the Lord.” But he had disobeyed what God said. And the prophet comes to him and says: “Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.”
The word “hearken” is kashab. What does it mean? “To prick up the ears, sharpening them like an alert animal.” If you have a watchdog in your home, you will know how that when, maybe a car is coming in the gate, you may not even have heard it. But you dog has heard it, and his ears go up. They just prick up, and he’s listening. That’s the way God wants us to listen! With pricking up our ears to listen.
One of the very first things that God wants us to learn, we forgot to tell you this in the last podcast, is something that I’ll give to you here. I’ll read it to you. Deuteronomy 4:10: “I will make them hear my words, that they may learn,” what? What does God want us to learn foremost, before anything else? To fear the Lord “all the days that they shall live upon the earth, and that they may teach their children.”
Deuteronomy 6:1-2: “Now these are the commandments . . . that ye might do them . . . That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life.”
Deuteronomy 31:11-13: “Thou shalt read this law before all Israel in their hearing.” Get that? “Gather the people together, men, and women, and children . . . that they may hear, and that they may learn, and fear the LORD your God, and that their children, which have not known anything, may hear, and learn to fear the LORD your God.”
That is the very first thing God wants us to learn, as mothers, and wants our children to learn, to fear Him. And what is the fear of the Lord? Proverbs 1:7: “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom.” Let’s teach our children how to live in the fear of the Lord.
FAMILIES WORSIPPING TOGETHER
Do you notice there, ladies, that God called everyone together. Whenever God wanted to say something to His people, He called them all together. Not just the adults, no. What does it say here? The men, the women, and the children. Every time God wanted to speak to His people, He always did it in the hearing of everyone.
Let me give you a few other Scriptures about that, because I think this is something we have to understand also. In fact, I believe we’ve got to get back to the Word on every little thing, don’t we?
Even when we come and gather together, whenever you gather, whether it’s a Saturday, whether it’s a Sunday, when you gather with the people of God, it seems that the current way we do it is that everybody goes into their different age groups. The little ones to the nursery, then the little bit older in their little group, and then the next ones to their Sunday school class, right up through their ages.
Wow! In fact, in some churches, everybody’s in the worship together. Then it’s time for the Word! And what happens? It’s an exodus! You can’t believe it! Everybody starts to file out of the church! All the Sunday school teachers, and all the children, and they’re all going out. Wow! Only half or even a third of the church are left! It’s unbelievable!
But when we go to the Word of God, we don’t ever, ever find that. There is not one Scripture. I have to confess that’s how we did it. My husband and I have been pastoring all our lives. We started out like that. Sunday school for all the children. Everyone was in for worship. Then out went the children. That’s how we did it.
Until one day we began to see, “Hey, where do we find this in the Bible? We cannot find it in one place.”
Michele: I think what our children are learning is that they’re a distraction. We’re teaching our children that they’re a distraction and people can’t learn. But it’s not just the children leaving, it’s all the adults who teach the children.
Our children are, a lot of times, going to be entertained. We’re called to be set apart. We’re not called to be set aside. But if we’re just going out and entertaining and giving them a bunch of fluff, they’re not receiving the Word, the deep things of God, in the Word of God, we underestimate our children’s ability to learn.
ARE WE DUMBING THEM DOWN OR LIFTING THEM UP
Nancy: We are. What we’re doing is dumbing them down, bringing them down to child level when we are to be bringing them up to maturity. Children may not understand everything that is being said in the main auditorium where the preacher is preaching, but they get it. It goes into their spirit. It’s how it’s meant to be. Let me give you a few other little Scriptures here.
Joshua 8:33-35: “And Joshua read all the words of the law, the blessings and cursings, according to all that is written in the Book of the Law. There was not a word of all that Moses commanded that Joshua read not before all the congregation of Israel.”
Wow! That was not a half-hour sermon. It was not an hour’s sermon. How long would it take for all that? Most probably all Exodus and Leviticus, and goodness me! Help! There was so much! And who had to be there? “With the women, and the little ones.” Yes. Oh, yes, everyone was there. Not just the men, but the women and the little ones.
2 Chronicles 20:4 & 13: “And Judah gathered themselves together.” This was a time when the enemy was coming and all of Judah came together to pray, “to ask help of the LORD . . . And all Judah,” all, “stood before the LORD, with their little ones, their wives, and their children.”
Yes, and did you notice, “their little ones”? “Oh, but the little ones, we can’t have them. We need babysitters for them. Goodness me, we’ve got to get them out in the nursery, or something, because they are such a distraction!” Oh, no, we have to teach them how to be in the congregation of the people. God never, ever allowed the little ones to be separated. They always had to be there.
The Hebrew word for “the little ones” is the Hebrew word taph. It comes from “the tripping gait or short steps of little children.” In other words, those ones that are toddling around. But even them, God wants to have in the midst. Isn’t that amazing?
Go over to Ezra 10:1: “Now when Ezra had prayed, and when he had confessed, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, there assembled unto him out of Israel a very great congregation of men and women and children,” and the word is taph, all the little, wee ones, “for the people wept very sore.”
Let me give you just one more. Joel 2:15-16. This was where they were calling a solemn assembly of fasting and prayer. “Oh my, we wouldn’t want to have little ones there, would we? No, you’d better get babysitters! This is a time for prayer and fasting!”
And so, the Word says: “Blow the trumpet in Zion, sanctify a fast, call a solemn assembly. Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders.” But it doesn’t stop there, ladies. “Gather the children, and those that suck at the breasts.”
God wanted everyone there, even the little babes, because right down to the littlest, they can learn. The littlest ones may not even understand but they are still hearing. They’re hearing the Word, and it is subconsciously going into them. Amen?
Michele: When my babies were just babies, even when they were in the womb, when I’d read the Word, I’d read it out loud. That was on purpose. The Spirit of the Lord was there. It’s in them, even at the tiniest of age.
Nancy: Oh, yes, yes. That’s when we start, in the womb!
Michele: Absolutely.
Nancy: Well, we’re going to talk about teaching our children, not just to work, but what? To LOVE WORK! How are we going to do this, Michele?
Michele: Oh, my goodness! So many ways! Number one, just like we teach them to love the Lord, and we teach them to love to learn, to teach them to love labor is number one—set the example. How are we facing work? Whether it be in the home, mothering, schooling, volunteer, meals, housework? It could be anything, anything at all.
What is our view on work? Are we doing it unto the Lord? Do we have a joyful heart? What do our children see? Do they see us grumbling and complaining? Do they see us putting things off and not getting work done? They will follow our lead.
Those little ones, my daughter gets so excited to help me make the bed when I have a smile on my face. I say, “I get to make the bed!” When our older ones were younger, we used to call them “get-to’s.” The words “you have to,” instead, “you get to.” You get to do this! It was so funny to see the things that we could get them to get excited about.
Nancy: Yes, yes. It’s true. It does come back to us, doesn’t it? I guess I was blessed to be brought up in a home where my father loved work. Oh, he loved to work! It was his joy to work. Actually, lovely ladies, this work is in us because God put it in us. If we have a resistance to work, we are actually resisting who God made us to be!
In fact, the very first thing that God did, after He had created man, was to put him in the garden to work, to work in the garden. Now, let’s look at that, shall we? Genesis 2:8: “And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden.” And there, “the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.”
Now, the word “dress” is abad in the Hebrew. It literally means “to work, to serve, to labor, to toil, to till.” Yes! It’s a word that really means, “OK, you’ve got to get stuck in and toil!”
WORK IS THERAPEUTIC AND CREATIVE
That word comes immediately after God created the man. God gave that instinct to work, right at the very beginning. It is in us because work is a blessing! Work is therapeutic! Work is creative! Work makes the world go round. In fact, as we work, is when we find better ways of doing things, faster ways of doing things.
This is how all the inventions come about, because people that are doing say, “I can find a better way of doing this! I can build a better thing!” It’s always finding a better way of doing it as we are working. Work is a wonderful thing. God gave it to us, and we have to embrace it as part of our lives! Amen?
Michele: Amen! Isn’t it amazing, how the love of learning and the love of labor go hand in hand? They go absolutely hand in hand, because if we take that love for learning and apply it to labor, wow! The things that we can accomplish, and the things that we can explore, and the things that we can invent are just amazing.
Then, if we have that along with Colossians 3:23-24: “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men. Knowing that from the Lord, you will receive the reward of the inheritance, for you serve the Lord Christ.”
Wow! People that work unto the Lord, they’re going to be others-focused. They’re going to put others first. They’re going to do things with excellence. They’re going take initiative. They’re going to work diligently. They’re going to have integrity, and they’re going to work with a joyful attitude. That’s what I want to see in my children.
Nancy: Yes! OK, now Michele, tell me, how have you been able to put that love for work in your children? Have you got any examples about that?
MAKE IT FUN
Michele: Oh, yes! Lots of examples! One, make it fun. With the little ones, just a smile on your face can make a world of difference. But as they grow older, sometimes you’ll see that reluctant attitude. Just remind them of what the Word of God says, number one—but then also, set an example, making it as fun as possible.
We’re building a home right now. We’re in the beginning processes of building a home, so this is a project that my husband and my boys are taking on. I told them two requirements: I don’t want it duct-taped together, and I don’t want it flex-steeled together. So, they are up to their necks of learning and labor right now but they’re going to have a reward at the end. Just being able to have that reward at the end of something they’ve built, our home! And their inheritance, at that. It's pretty amazing.
Sometimes it’s pointing out to our children why we do the things we do. There’s the “how-to’s,” how do we clean the bathroom, how do we do the things? But why? Why is this important? Why do we need to make our bed if we’re just going go to bed again at night? That sort of thing.
If we can teach them the “why’s” behind some of the things we do, it can make a world of difference in teaching those good work ethics and good work habits. There are things they get up and do from a small age and it becomes a habit. It becomes their work ethic. The reward is at the end of it.
Just recently, we’ve had my son who is becoming an adult (so I don’t want to keep him little)! But he’s going to be 20 in just a few short weeks. He’s been home with us, and he’s been making dinner almost every night.
Nancy: Oooh, how dreamy! [laughter] How wonderful!
Michele: It is so dreamy! But you know what, I see the light when we sit down with our meal, and we’re like, “Oh, wow! This is amazing!” Even at 20 years old, his face will light up. Just that encouragement, when our kids are working hard, and they’re doing something great. Don’t forget to encourage them even as they become young adults. That encouragement can go a long, long way.
ENCOURAGEMENT SHOULD ROLL OFF OUR TONGUES
Nancy: Absolutely. I do believe that is so important to be always encouraging our children. You can never encourage your children too much. Encouragement should be rolling off our tongues. I believe that encouragement is the rich soil in which we grow our children to their full destiny.
People do things out of encouragement. The Word of God says in The Living Bible, Proverbs 12:25: “A word of encouragement does wonders!” It does wonders! A lot of it is all about attitude, isn’t it? When we’re working with our children, we need to let them know, “Oh, isn’t it fun to work? It’s so great!” But also, we’ve got to teach them diligence too, and habits. So much is habits.
You mentioned making your bed. I believe that is the habit we should instill in our children right from the time they can make their beds. They learn to do it. They don’t come out of their rooms until their bed is made. That is a very good habit.
In fact, there’s a whole book called Make Your Bed. I forget the author, but you can go to Amazon. It will come up, written by a general. He puts making his bed as one of the foundational successes of his life because it taught him a habit. “I’ve done something. It is completely finished and orderly, right from the beginning of the day. That’s going to set my pattern for the day.”
In teaching our children to work, one, we are teaching them how to work diligently and delightfully, and, of course, encouraging them along the way. But it’s amazing, ladies, how much God talks about work in His Word, and how much He talks about diligence, and how much He speaks against laziness. Oh, my! There are so many Scriptures about that.
Michele: In 2 Thessalonians 3:10, it says: “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.” With four boys that love to eat, that’s a big deal. That’s high stakes right there! [laughter]
Nancy: Yes, yes, they also need to learn that too as they’re growing up. We’re teaching our children, right from the beginning, so why are we teaching them to do chores and do work? We’re preparing them for their future life, so that they’ll grow up with this work ethic of enjoying work, loving work.
I see my children loving work. One of my boys especially, he just loves to work! He is incredible. In fact, it’s our son Steve, and he has always, I guess for years now, I think for over 33 years or more he has managed the Newsboys. That’s the Christian band that our oldest son owns. Steve has managed them on the road. His incredible work ethic, his incredible management has actually done wonders for that band and made them what they are today.
In fact, this last summer tour, he was brought in by Maverick City, which I think is perhaps the most popular worship band today. But they brought in Steve to manage them. They were unbelievably blessed. In fact, I saw a post from my daughter-in-law, and they’d given him this thing that says, “The Best Manager That’s Ever Been.” [laughter] It was something like that. It was even better than that. Yes, because of his incredible work ethic, and also his amazing creativity and personality too, but it all starts with work.
Anyway, I think we’re actually at the end of this session. We’ve got to talk a little bit more about this next session. So, we’ll be coming back for that, ladies! Love you!
“Dear Father, I thank You for all the precious women, mothers, wives, daughters, maybe even husbands, listening, Lord. Father, bless them with Your Word. Encourage them.
“Lord God, teach us all Your ways. One of Your ways is to work. Even Jesus said, “My Father works, and I work.” It is part of the Godhead, to work.
“So, Father, give us wisdom in teaching our children the right way, the right attitude, to work. It makes such a difference to the whole atmosphere of the home. I pray this blessing upon every home today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Michele: Amen.
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Check out: MAKE YOUR BED by Admiral William McRaven