Cultivate Humor In Your Home

In the sanctuary, a little boy joyfully handed his mother the Mother's Day card he had just finished for her in Sunday School. On the front were the letters M O M in glitter. The dear woman laid the treasure on the pew. When the pastor called all the mothers to the front to honor them, she heard laughter throughout the church. She assumed some sweet child had done something funny. What she didn't realize was that she had sat on her card. Across the back of her navy skirt read W O W.

At our wedding reception 22 years ago, we circulated among our guests in the church basement. I realized I had been away from my beloved's side for about 30 minutes. He was standing in front of a circle of friends who were seated. I came up behind him and slipped my arms under his. On tippy toes (he's 6' 3") I put my chin on his shoulder and nuzzled his neck. I noticed a look of horror on our guests’ faces and realized I was affectionately snuggling my husband's brother!

A sense of humor is certainly essential for enjoying motherhood. If you recognize the value of humor in your family life, you can actually increase the laughter in your home through a few simple steps.

1. Turn mistakes into humor.

This is an invaluable tool to teach your children not to take themselves too seriously or be devastated over every error they make.

My little daughter and I were vigorously exercising in the living room one morning. I looked over at her and smiled as I thought about how much I enjoyed her company and what a "bonding" moment this was. Pretty soon she said, "Mom, when I exercise with you…" I thought, "Ah, she feels the same way." She jerked me out of deep thought as she finished her sentence: "When I exercise with you... the whole house shakes."

2. Draw humor from your own life situations.

While it is not wise to laugh at others, it is always safe to laugh at yourself, and everyone will love you for it.

3. Put up your antennas for humor.

Funny things happen to funny people. Once you determine to introduce more laughter into your home, you will notice many amusing things around you that might have annoyed you before.

A three-year-old boy was entertaining himself by drawing pictures. When Grandpa asked him what he was drawing, he said it was a picture of Grandma. "It doesn't look much like Grandma to me," Grandpa replied. The boy answered, "Guess I'll put a tail on it then and call it a cow." Sometimes I think God sends children to deliver new batches of humor to earth for us all!

I was riding in the van with one of our children one day. The discussion turned to how daddy and I met. I seized that teachable moment to eloquently describe our courtship and how much we love each other. The little sweetie inquired: "Were you pretty when daddy asked you to marry him?"

4. You cannot be too self-absorbed if you are going to have a good sense of humor.

If you worry excessively about how you look, or how people are treating you, you will notice plenty about the faults of yourself and others, but you will miss the joy of many good laughs. A good sense of humor also helps you develop the wonderful characteristic of being unoffendable.

"Joy isn't the absence of sorrow, it is the presence of God."

5. Humor often disappears with burnout.

It is like the warning light on the dashboard of your car indicating the oil is low. I call it "getting grim." It happens to me when I have made my circumstances bigger than my God. I can see my problems very clearly but I have lost sight of God.

6. Keep a humor journal or file.

You WILL forget many great stories that will entertain your children and grandchildren if you don't write them down.

We homeschool our children. There are no report cards or glowing accounts of our children at parent-teacher conferences. When someone compliments us, we have to live on that compliment for a long time. One day my son told me I reminded him of Einstein. I thought happily to myself, "I am glad he has finally recognized my superior intellectual ability." He continued: "You remind me of Einstein because he had trouble with his hair, too."

Homeschooling has been a wonderful adventure, but there are some problems. Everyone is always home to mess the house up, and although we are with our children 24 hours a day, we still don't know their names! I always have an excuse to talk to myself, however. My children think I am having a parent/teacher conference!

7. Enjoy the fellowship of funny people.

Teach your children to value and encourage a sense of humor in their friends. If you usher laughter into your home, you will find yourself LIVING with delightfully funny children. It is good for them to learn what jokes are appropriate and the proper time to be funny. They WILL enjoy the wonderful success of making the family laugh.

Humor is good for your health and helps us cope with humdrum days. When I lose my perspective (as I often do) I think of one of my favorite stories:

A man was determined to take his wealth with him when he died. He prayed until the Lord finally gave in. There was one condition: he could bring only one suitcase of his wealth. The rich man decided to fill the case with gold bullion. The day came when God called him home. St. Peter greeted him, but told him he couldn't bring his suitcase. "Oh, but I have an agreement with God." the man explained. "That's unusual," said St. Peter. "Mind if I take a look?" The man opened the suitcase to reveal the shining gold bullion. St. Peter was amazed. "Why in the world would you bring in pavement?" A warped view of heaven caused a warped view of earth. Sisters, we get bent out of shape over the smallest things! Ask yourself, "Am I packing pavement here?"

In stressful moments, there are four additional questions I ask myself:

    1. Is this incident more important than my RELATIONSHIP with my husband/child/mother, etc.?
    2. Will it matter in 10 years?
    3. Will it matter in eternity?
    4. Is God still on the throne?

Occasionally, I find there is a window in time when I literally have to chose whether to laugh or cry. After one particularly grim day, dodging five children and a toddler all day, I decided I must succeed at one endeavor: getting the meal fixed on time. After bustling through preparations with humorless determination, I turned to my 10-year-old daughter and said, "Please go check on your little brother."

"What do you mean?" she replied. Now I thought, "How hard can that be? Little boy. Blonde hair. Toddles around." Calmly, through clenched teeth, I repeated my request. "Go check on your brother."

Bewildered she said, "Mom...you're holding him." He had been on my hip so long that I didn't know he was there. I almost burst into tears. I honestly had to choose whether to laugh or cry. Laughing won. My advice to you is:

When in doubt, choose to laugh.

MARTHA RUPPERT

Coffeen Illinois, USA

Allen and Martha with their seven children: Rachel (20), Aaron (19), Eva (16), Daniel (13), Emily (9), Philip (8), and Alex (5)

 

Which "P" Will It Be?

There are two little ‘P’s running around in our brains. One is called Peace and the other Performance! Only one of these ‘P’s’ can survive!  They are arch enemies and cannot live with each other! So if you are ready, let’s start the fight…

One of the ‘P’s’ must go!

Which one is it going to be?

Oh, Oh, Oh – it’s a bigger fight than I realize!

Which one will die?

Ppppppppeeeeerformance!

Okay, Performance – out you go!

Cheers! Encore!

God wants performance to die today! And tomorrow!  The performance of trying to be Sally the Supermom, of dressing, acting or mothering like anybody else! God wants us to look to Him and perform for His eyes only! Many of us are so busy performing for the voices around us that we miss His voice, the one voice that tells us how we should perform! If your mothering has become a bit smoggy, heavy and trashed – wait! His voice is calling!

But to be honest, it can be hard to give performance the boot. “What if I slam the door on all the voices telling me how to measure up and then God doesn’t speak – or worse, He tells me to act differently than all my friends?”  Let’s face it mothers - to mother for the Lord is not ‘safe’, if your definition of safe is your own secure, insulated world. When you depend on God for your children, He will take you out of your comfort zone for you cannot predict God!  He will change your motherhood from boring to exciting!  The more we listen to His voice, the more we will hear maternal truths from the heart of God just for us!

When we don’t trust God, we end up living under the smog of someone else’s agenda. We get a second-hand viewpoint of what God wants for our family and children. Is the word of the Lord coming to you firsthand or secondhand for your child’s life, schooling, etc. As mothers we need to have the firsthand building plan! It’s okay to get advice, but we need to take that advice to the Lord and say, “Is this for me?”

We don’t have time for the second rate building plan. It’s too boring. All we do is what they do and wear what they wear. We live another person’s idea!  Actually, it's more than boring – it’s hard work to keep up. But we do it despite our frayed nerves, trying to prove to the world we are measuring up. Stop it now! We don’t have to prove anything!  I think God wants to shake us and say, “Stop trying, relax,  live a little! He wants us to stop trying to be the perfect mother who has all her ducks in a row, but the mother who knows how to relax in the peace of God and hear His heartbeat for her family!

“But God, when I dress like the ladies at our church, I know I’m doing well by measuring myself against them!

God says, “I gave you your personality, let me adorn you.”

“Well, what about what they are doing God? It’s really great and they’re accomplishing great things for You and for life!”

“Not everything is for you.”

“But I want to be like them.”

“I want you to be like Me. Learn of Me for I am meek and lowly and you will find rest for your soul.”

“That’s good, my soul sure needs a rest. Give me some steps.”

“I don’t do steps. I come as you enter my presence.”

“What!  No steps Lord? Nothing to go on, no one telling me what to do, but you – that’s not safe. What’s say you don’t turn up?”

“I have promised that I will never leave you or forsake you. I have watched you try so hard and come under the yoke of what others are doing. My voice will be especially for you. I will speak to you about your children. I know the answers for them more than any “how-to” book you will ever read. I created them and I will speak to you about all manner of things. It will be exhilarating. You will find joy and freedom in your mothering like you have never known before.”

Performance makes us self aware. Do not care what anyone else thinks. The Marys did not care!

Mary, Lazarus’s sister didn’t care about performance as she sat listening to Jesus, All she wanted to hear was His voice and it was counted to her as the greater place.

Mary Magdalene was surely not about performance, when in front of all the Pharisees and disciples she wiped Jesus’ feet with her hair. She didn’t care what they thought. She only cared what Jesus thought, and her story will forever be told!

Mary, the mother of Jesus was definitely not concerned about performance when she hearkened to the words of the angel. She understood that she would look like a bad girl and could even be killed, but she responded, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”

The “Marys” got it down! God is still looking out for the hearts of Mary. He is crying out, “Where are the Marys? Where are the ones who will forget about what other thinks? Where are those who will hear my voice from Heaven, and say, ‘Take my life and mothering and sculpt it the way you want. Be it unto me, the handmaid of the Lord.’”

Your friend, Vangi!

EVANGELINE JOHNSON

Primm Springs, Tennessee, USA

Howard and Evangeline are blessed with 7 children – Zadok (11), Sharar (10), Rashida (8), Crusoe (6), Jireh (4), Arrow (3) and Tiveria (1).

 

God's Presence In Our Homes

“Moses cried out, “If your presence will not go with me, do not let me move from here!” (1)

For this too, I cry out.

In movie like motion, history plays out women in a radical fervor for the quest of God’s presence! Women have shorn their heads, taken vows of silence for five years, become like hermits and moved into caves with no human interaction!

What’s a mother to do? Not speaking for five minutes is hard enough, not to mention five years! Oh, I’ve tried the hermit trick (at least in another room), but sure enough, 1.6 minutes later a little one knocks at the door!  Is there any hope? Today, good news has come your way -- you can enter the 3 R’s!  Relax!  Rethink!  Relief!

RELAX

Here’s my biggest and only secret… drum roll please! God wants to come into NORMAL DAILY LIFE!

You thought you had to give up those few hours of sleep, didn’t you? To feel God’s presence, you thought you had to have complete and utter quiet, didn’t you? I suppose you thought you had to kick out the children for an hour or so, but couldn’t bring yourself to do it in real life. Worse, you did do it and you became cranky through lack of sleep and the children felt kicked out, which of course they were!  Maybe you were thinking of becoming a hermit! Relax and live out the ‘No Mores’! No more guilt for tired-out mums. No more pressure for over-driven mums! Kick out the guilt and preconceived ideas and start to rethink.

RETHINK

Rethink and let reality strike. The other day I was nursing the baby on the bed in our bedroom/kitchen, when out of the blue God said to me, “Vange, tell me what you really think.” Of course, that’s not hard for me to follow. Close friends often call me, “In Your Face ministry.” When I’d finished, God then asked me, “Do you want to hear what I really think?” I expected a follow-up of my opinions but was stunned to hear His heartbeat. “Vange, most people don’t really want to hang out with me. Oh yes, they want to meet with me and I show up and listen to their agendas, but Vange, it’s those who hang out with me who hear my secrets!”

To top that off, a few hours later I heard the words, “Hosea 6:2” echoing through my brain. I didn’t have a clue what it was and proceeded to look it up. I could hardly believe it when I read the words, “And on the third day He will raise us up so that we may live in His presence!” So there you have it!  “Living” and “Presence” -- a synonymous duo, not one without the other!  They’re twins!

Traditionally, spending time with God is called “devotions”. Does this mean we devote only a slot of time to God? This is selling yourself short! God wants all our time, not a small bit! We need to go from the “once a day meeting” mentality to a “living” mentality!  It’s the difference between washing your hands once a day or swimming in the purest clean river. It’s the difference between finding your way through the woods by random flashes of lightning or with daylight streaming all around you!

Before you call me a heretic, let me say that this is not to negate those special times alone with God. But, what He really wants to do is ‘hang out!” The King wants to LIVE with you!

How Vange? How?  How do you have time to hear God, read His Word and talk with Him with seven little children around you all day? As easy as pie! We can hear Him from morning to night. In fact, as each child has entered our family, we have experienced a greater dimension of God’s presence in our home.

Instead of going off alone, have God come to your life! It’s like having your best friend around all day with whom you share secrets -- and so it is with God! Forget your lists and agendas to Him. See if He has anything to say to you first. Rekindle your friendship with Him. People don’t fall out of love. They fall out of friendship first! Renew that friendship and watch His presence come!

Open your eyes in the morning and say, “Speak to me Lord” and listen while you nurse your baby! I have Bibles open everywhere. I have one in the stroller, one next to the couch, one open at the washing machine and one at the kitchen sink. Say, “Speak Lord” as you read two verses at the washing machine, swallow that as you fold the clothes, and grab a few more as you cook lunch, or do the night dishes. With several ‘cheap’ Bibles around, you will have a ‘wealth’ of daily relationship, unmatched by any experience you’ve had yet! Adam and Eve “walked and talked” with God. If it was all right for Adam and Eve to do two things at once, then it’s all right for me.

Let Him talk to you as you wash the dishes. Did you hear Him say something? What did you tell Him? You’re doing great, but don’t leave Him at the sink!  Take Him to sort out the squabble! Yes, I know, it was pretty hard to scream with God there, wasn’t it? He spoke to you about your children’s destinies then, didn’t He? Yes, those little fighting spirits can be harnessed for His glory, not squashed.

Why don’t you move over a bit and let the Lord sit awhile with you as you cuddle your toddler. Hmmm, look down to your right, the Bible’s open right there. He wants to say something special to you right now. “Wow, Lord, this is too good to be true!”

Okay, you’re getting the picture. Now let the children call the shots for a bit. They love “family time with God”. We usually end up piled on the floor, loving God and letting God speak to us as we play music (without words). Sometimes we play the track from The Man From Snowy River. Now don’t get me wrong, these are children and a few kicks, ouches, squirms, yells and noise are not going to scare God off! He loves it. He lets them be children, and we should too. In fact, God loves to play!  So get ready to ‘play out’ the greatest passion play of your soul! What relief!

RELIEF

Relief is “His presence”, or simultaneously referred to in scripture as “His face” in our lives!  His presence leads us into His rest!  If anything violates His presence, it violates His rest. This is the stuff that energizes and calms us at the same time. For God and man, it is the marriage of His and our heart yearnings, for we can’t live without Him and He longs to live with us!  It is the tremendous love affair of His face in our homes!

The call goes out – “Who is she who will devote herself to be close to me?” (2)

The Cry of the King  - “Come into my chambers!” (3)

The Lover’s heartbeat – “Let me hear your voice!” (4)

And we respond – “YES, Lord, come and turn your face to our place!

What more can I say? Talk about an “In Your Face ministry!”

 

Your friend, Vangi

P.S.

While writing this article my oldest son asked, “What are you writing about, Mum?”

“Enjoying the presence of the Lord in our home,” I replied.

“Tell them to turn off the TV!” he answered.

 

EVANGLINE JOHNSON

Primm Springs, Tennessee, USA

Scriptures references:

  1. Exodus 33:13-16
  2. Jeremiah 30:21 NIV, “For who is he will devote himself to be close to Me, declares the Lord.” (James 4:8)
  3. Song of  Solomon 1:4
  4. Song of Solomon 2:14

 

Contentment

Our home was only partly built when our second baby was born. It was very unsafe. There was a big open cavity of ground surrounding our home, as we didn’t have the money to move the dirt back after excavating. There was no front door - just a slab of wood you had to kick out of the way. There was no running water or toilet. I had to potty train my two-year-old in a bucket. There were stairs without railings, second and third floor levels without surrounding walls, and nails and sharp tools everywhere. And mud everywhere!

My husband worked long hours at work and everyday I was left with a little tiny newborn, and an exploring two-year-old in a dangerous house. There were times when I felt totally overwhelmed and wanted to cry and sulk in self-pity.

On the days I gave in to this I would have a horrible day, but when I took those discontented lies into captivity and thanked God for what I did have, I was the happiest woman in the world. I would feel sorry for people that didn’t have my life. I embraced my situation and fell in love with it.  I supported my husband in our lengthy and tiresome house venture (which is slowly continuing) and learned to fall in love with his dream. I enjoyed running outside to the bathroom and thought of it all as another experience to look back on and laugh about.  We were all in it together, and I made it my mission to make this humble home the happiest palace in the world.

I realized God knew my living situation, and as long as I was as watchful, God would protect my little two-year-old. I relaxed, and this past year has been one of the happiest in my life. Instead of being overwhelmed with “poor me” and all my problems, I became overwhelmed with all my blessings. I threw away my own life and wants and found a new life that was happier and more fulfilling than I could ever have dreamed.

I realized one day that it could have been a lot different. I could have had a miserable life filled with complaints. I could have made my husband miserable by being a miserable wife. I could have made my children’s lives sad and dull with a complaining mother. I realized it was a choice, and I made an attitude change.  I realized that discontentment is a weapon from the enemy to not only steal my joy but also to take away the focus on my blessings and God’s plan for my life.

God had placed me in this set of circumstances and made me a mother of children. I was not going to let the devil sidetrack my high calling as a mother by complaining about my circumstances. I got out the Bible and read the truth that would set me free. He said He made the barren woman to be a joyful mother of children. I had never been barren but I got the ‘joyful’ gist. He said he that will lose his life would find it.

I threw my life into being a wife and mother. I don’t always sleep like a baby or ever have time to pamper myself. I hardly ever have a shower without a little one hanging on my leg or eat a meal without standing up and jiggling a tired baby. I don’t get time to do a lot of those things I had planned to do, but I am happier than I could ever dream. I gave my life away but found a better one. I don’t have time for myself but, I don’t desire that any more. Now I think it would be rather boring.  When I think about myself too much, I lose my joy.

I’ll tell you what I do have...

I have a wonderful, amazing husband, and two beautiful blessings from heaven that are the joy of our lives. We pray God blesses us with many more – my husband would like twelve children.

I have the pleasure of sweet cuddles from chubby little arms and little raspberry kisses from tiny cupid lips.

I have the privilege of little voices asking me questions, hanging on my every word, and calling me mother. I have the joy of watching them grow and knowing the satisfaction of having a part of their development.

I have the indescribable honor of feeling life form within my body. If I could describe the emotions when I first felt the little stir within in my womb, I would have to make up another language, as I cannot find any word quite good enough in mine.

I have the awesome challenge of birthing flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone and feeling its little body slide out into our world, and seeing a little wrinkled face for the first time. I have the beautiful quiet moments of cradling a babe at my breast and stroking the soft, chubby cheek as wide, searching eyes gaze into mine.

I have the responsibility from God to love, care and raise these human lives to serve their Creator and change the world for Him. I have a high calling from God. It may not always be easy, but he never said it would be.

He said He would be always there, that He would never leave or forsake me, and that He would never give me more than I could handle. If everything were as smooth as ice cream, life would be boring. We would never grow and never appreciate life to its fullest.

My older sister and her husband are building a house, too.  Just as we are, they are not taking out a loan to do it, so they just have to build it slowly when money and time provide. She is expecting her sixth child. They all live in a one-room cabin that is tinier than most people’s kitchens. They have no running water as yet and have to run out to the woods to use the restroom. She homeschools them all and has to cook outside on a propane burner.

She is the happiest person I know. She enters every room with a smile and a booming hello. Her children love every bit of it, as it is like a never-ending camping trip for them. She has her tiny home organized and beautiful. She has made it a happy palace, and they are all thriving and loving life.

The only reason this story is a happy one is because of her attitude. She told me one day that contentment is all in the way you look at things, and that happiness is the state of your mind, not your circumstances. I remember that every time I have a discontented thought.

Of course she longs for the day when her home will be built, as I also do, but she is content to live in whatever circumstance she is placed, and praise the Lord for his goodness.

Our western society, with all its affluence, has subconsciously influenced us to think we need so much stuff to be truly happy. Recently when out in the car, I happened to hear Dr. Laura on the radio. She was answering a question from a lady who was worried that her children had to share a room.  Dr. Laura told her of a family she visited in Israel who had nine children and all had to fit in a one-room home. She said they were contented and happy and the children got on wonderfully.

I was really challenged by something she said, which I am going to permanently fix in my mind. She said “It is our expectation that leads us to our depression.” In our western society, we expect so much, and think we are poor and deprived if we don’t obtain these expectations. Even those on the poverty line are like millionaires compared to a lot of families in less fortunate countries.

It is not things that make us rich, or perfect circumstances that make us happy. True wealth is more real and tangible than mere materialism. It is richness in the things that will not fade, and can be carried on into eternity.

I have found Philippians 4:11-13 encouraging, “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: Everywhere and in all things I am instructed both     to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me.”

We can embrace our high calling of mothering and all that comes with it, or we can hold on to our own life and all that comes along with that. Living for self is usually boring, as we can never truly be content by looking out for number one.

We have a choice - contentment or discontentment.

It does not come from a change in circumstances but a change in our minds.

Where Is My Maid?

As a little girl, I was sure I would have a maid when I grew up. This was my own idea. I certainly didn’t inherit it from my family. I come from a line of hard workers. People in my family love to work. Generations of them have been this way. I have vivid memories of my mother rolling her sleeves up and saying with great gusto, “Come on Pearlie! Let’s get stuck in! If a job is worth doing it’s worth doing well!” Somehow I missed out on this genetic trait. My maid never appeared and my journey as a homemaker has had its challenges.

I came up with many excuses over the years for the disarray in my home. The main one was, “My house is too small. There’s no room for anything.” But this excuse never really held much water. Anyone close to our family could remind me that my older sister has seven children, lives in a tiny two-room home and yet her home is always clean and orderly. My swift answer to this was always, “She inherited the working gene, and she actually enjoys housework. I hate housework.”

Other excuses have included…

“If only my husband would help around the house.”

“My little children keep messing things up.”

“I don’t have a dishwasher.”

“I have no cupboard space.”

“I don’t have an organized bone in my body.”

“Routine? Yuk! I hate routines. I’m a free spirit. That would never work for me.”

By the time I’d had my fourth child, I realized something had to change. Although I did not enjoy housework, I did not enjoy my messy house either. I would look around at the chaos and clutter and feel out of control. I longed for an organized house but felt it was unattainable.

Sometimes I would clean up in the morning (which actually meant putting things in piles,) then take the children out somewhere all afternoon. This meant I could return to the peaceful feeling of a home that did not look like a tornado had gone through it.

As many of you know, it’s much more difficult going out with a large family. A couple of years ago, escaping was no longer an option. I was faced with a dilemma. How on earth do you keep an orderly house while living in it all day long?

First, here is a humorous example of why I avoid going out too often with my children. I am currently pregnant with our fifth child. Into the tenth week of this pregnancy I noticed my one-year-old had some strange looking spots on his body. Someone told me they looked a lot like chicken pox. I knew he’d had several bug bites but these were crusting over in a strange way so I called my midwife. She suggested I take him to the doctor to get a diagnosis as it would take her a day to get the results back from my blood work whether I was immune to chicken pox or not.

I made an urgent appointment with the doctor (who we hardly ever see) and started making commands for all the children to pile into the car. I scrambled around like a mad woman trying to put sandals on my two youngest, wiping faces and attempting to make them presentable for society. As I closed the front door, I noticed my five-year-old boy. He was shoeless and his feet were thoroughly mud caked. “Where are your shoes?” I hollered in a very un-nurturing tone.

“Under the tree.” he yelled back.

I presumed he’d get them, but upon arrival at the doctor’s office I discovered I had presumed too much. He leaped out of the van with his mud-caked feet. That was when I noticed my three-year-old’s state. He’d found a marker in the back seat and had quietly, but thoroughly colored dark green on every bit of exposed skin on his body. Green face. Green arms. Green legs. He smiled at me with his hilarious squinting smile.

“Oh, no!” I gasped. Will the doctor think me unfit? I fished in my bag for some wipes but realized I had forgotten them. That was when my daughter said, “Mom, Noble stinks!”

Sure enough, my one-year-old had filled his diaper. I pulled him out of his car seat and noticed it was diarrhea. It started to run down his legs and onto my clothes. This time I fished around in my bag for a diaper thinking I could wet paper towels and use them as wipes. But, I had also forgotten diapers!

Mortified, I herded my children together and walked into the doctor’s office. I had no choice but to ask the receptionist if they had diapers and wipes as I had forgotten mine. I found myself trying to explain why one of my children was green and the other had muddy bare feet. It didn’t come out very well.

Things got progressively worse. When the doctor asked me to take my one-year-old’s shirt off, she frowned and said, “Mrs. Barrett, he has a big tick under his arm.”

“I check them all for ticks every night.” I assured her. “We live in the woods and he was playing outside this morning,” Flustered, I reached under his arm to pull off the tick, a very simple procedure I am used to doing each day.

“No! Mrs. Barrett!” The doctor snapped. We don’t do it like that.”

She called the nurse back in, lay my son on the table, took a very long pair of tweezers and attempted the tick removal like it was major surgery. My son screamed the entire time.

The doctor was unable to tell me whether it was chicken pox or not.  She did, however, ask me why I had not immunized my child. By this time I couldn’t think of anything intelligent to say and mumbled something about it being too dangerous.

By the way, I was immune to chicken pox and there was nothing to worry about.

These days, I’d much rather stay home. Most days my home is orderly and I have a peaceful feeling inside its walls. For those of you who are like me, here are some answers to keeping an orderly home:

GET RID OF STUFF

The first thing I had to do was get rid of “stuff”. I had accumulated so much junk in my small house that every drawer overflowed, every flat surface had a pile of junk on it and every cupboard was hard to close. It was not possible to have beauty in my home. There were far too many things. Most of them were given to me from well meaning friends who were smart enough to sort through their own houses periodically. Once the junk hit my house it stayed.

I read a book called, “Clutter be Gone” by Don Aslett. This book spoke of the 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of the things in our homes we don’t use. We could all function very nicely on 20 percent. I looked around my home and realized this to be the truth. Even if I suddenly transformed into the hardest working mother in the world, I would never be able to keep up with all the stuff. I got ruthless and I got rid of it.

It took me about three months to simplify my home. I took great delight in tossing things into either trash bags or Goodwill bags. Out went the clothes we never wore or those I was saving just in case.

Out went the toy box! My children would pull every little toy out of the toy box just to reach something at the bottom, only to play with it for a couple of minutes. I copied an idea from my older sister, Evangeline, and obtained a chest of drawers. Each child now has their own drawer to look after. If I find something of theirs on the floor I say, “Would you like to put this in your drawer or would you like me to throw it out?” They’ll speedily put it away. Occasionally, they have told me to throw it away as they don’t need it anymore.

I keep toys, like legos and blocks, on a higher shelf. They ask if they want to play with them and must spread down a blanket first so the little pieces are easier to pick up. My children have become much happier playing outdoors with sticks and other nature objects and building forts.

Out went magazines, books we never used, kitchen ware, nick knacks, linen. You name it. I had too much of everything. What a great feeling when it was gone!

MORNING ROUTINE

Mornings have never been my favorite time. All my babies have woken up a lot during the night and my other children are early risers. This combination often left me grouchy and feeling lazier than ever in the morning. The only routine I developed over the years was to drag myself out of bed and get breakfast for the children. I’d sit on the couch in an exhausted slump, dressed in my robe while the house turned to turmoil around me. It would take me until about 9 o’clock to muster enough energy to start cleaning up. By that time things would be in such disarray, housework was an overwhelming task.

It has been hard to condition myself, but I was determined to do it. Now, the first thing I do when I get out of bed is to make it. A made bed gives me a sense of order and energy that propels me to do the other chores. I grab any dirty laundry from the night before and take it straight to the washer to start a wash. The children and I eat breakfast and I make sure the dishes are done immediately.

THROW OUT YOUR ROBE

The biggest help to get me going in the morning was to throw out my robe. As much as I loved it, that robe represented the laziness in me that I had to conquer. Now I have no choice but to get properly dressed each morning. No more lounging about in my robe till midday (yes, I admit, I have done this). Maybe for you, it’s your favorite pair of pajamas or a fluffy nightgown that begs you to leave it on. I would encourage you to give it to Goodwill and get on with your day.

HOT SPOTS

Many of you may be familiar with Fly Lady. I have read some of her ideas and love the ‘hot spot’ idea. Every morning, I now check for hot spots. They are places where clutter tends to accumulate -- kitchen tables, benches, tops of refrigerators and end tables. I learned that it is helpful to put something beautiful on these places so you are less likely to place junk.

DEEP CLEANING

I set aside one day a week for deeper cleaning like mopping, dusting and bathrooms. My oldest daughter and I turn some praise music on and work hard for 1-2 hours. Then we can forget about it for another week.

EVENING ROUTINE

Conditioning myself to get up and get started has been worth it. I have found that I actually feel more tired sitting on the couch than I do when I get up and get going. Another important decision I made was to clean the supper dishes up as soon as the meal is over. For many years I would procrastinate about the evening chores, wishing somehow that my husband would turn into one of those sainted men who happily zoom around the kitchen and make it spic and span. Well, I had to face reality, that wasn’t going to happen. (My husband has many other qualities I admire.) As my children grow they will take over, but right now it is me.

The truth is, I never feel like tackling the kitchen after supper but I’ve realized facing crusted dishes in the morning is much worse. I feel pretty weary in the evenings, especially when I’m pregnant, so I ask myself these questions. Would I rather have an hour of false relaxation, wishing the dishes were done, but knowing I still have to get up and do them? Or, would I rather have half an hour of complete peace with my feet up, knowing that the house is clean and my mind can rest along with my body?

My evening routine leaves the house manageable in the morning. Usually by around 8:30 am the house is in order and we are ready for the adventures of the day. Since I threw out so much junk and keep throwing it out, there isn’t much to pick up anymore. Of course, the children have to straighten their rooms, there are spills to wipe up, counters to wipe down and floors to sweep, but nothing seems overwhelming anymore. I have even had someone ask me, “How do you keep your house so clean and organized?” I could hardly believe they were talking to me!

However, if you ever find yourself at my house, please don’t expect perfection. I have come a long way, but I wouldn’t ask you to eat off my floor. I’m still learning but now I know an orderly home is attainable for anyone, even those of us in the unorganized camp.

PEARL BARRETT

Primm Springs, Tennessee, USA

Charlie and Pearl are blessed with Meadow (9), Bowen (5), Rocklyn (4), Noble (2) and they are expecting their fifth baby early October 2004.

 

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