PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 246: Mothers Are the Transmitters of God’s Truth to the Next Generation, Part 4
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 246: Mothers Are the Transmitters of God’s Truth to the Next Generation, Part 4
Are we passing on mothering to the next generation as God intends it? Are we passing on to our children family togetherness as God intends it? Do your children know how to set a table?
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Good to be with you. Back a couple of weeks ago, podcast #243, I was encouraging you to buy up old dictionaries because I don’t think we really want our children to be learning from these new editions that are coming out with all the changing of the meaning of very important words. So, Darlene Norris, she’s the one who transcribes all the podcasts, which is so wonderful of her. If ever you need to check anything, or check any references to Scriptures, well, you can go to the transcripts. They’re right there on the home page of aboverubies.org.
Anyway, of course, Darlene was listening as she was transcribing. She said, “We went to town today. Had to go to the thrift stores! At the first one, we found a stack of old dictionaries, and a bunch of Bibles. They were only $1 for the hardcovers and 50 cents for the paperbacks. So, we’ve started our trove of Bibles and dictionaries that we can hand out to people in the future. We were talking to the cashier in the thrift store about how they’re changing the dictionaries, too. So, we’re trying to get the word out!” Well, I thought that was so great! I think that’s a good idea to do, ladies, don’t you?
Last week we were talking about the animals and how God has created them. So many of the mammals that God created have such a wonderful maternal instinct. They’re wonderful mothers. I’d like to mention just a few more. Of course, I won’t be mentioning all of them.
But dolphins are wonderful mammals, aren’t they? They nurse their babies for two or three years. The polar bears never ever leave their baby cubs until they are at least two-and-a-half years of age. They have such a beautiful maternal instinct also. Whales are pregnant between ten and 18 months, depending on which type of whale they are. They also nurse their babies for up to three years.
Then there is the orangutan. Oh, yes, they are such an interesting animal, aren’t they? Apparently, they have the closest DNA to humans than any other animals. They are 97% similar to human beings, although, goodness, we wouldn’t like to look like one of them! They are kind of strange-looking creatures, but pretty amazing.
They only give birth to a baby once every eight years, but they also are wonderful mothers. They nurse their babies for at least six years, sometimes even up to eight years. And yet, they live a much shorter lifespan than human beings. So, that’s a challenge, isn’t it, when you think of how much time they spend in bonding and being close to their babies, and nursing their babies, even though they don’t have such a long lifespan as we do.
It’s amazing, isn’t it, how animals can be so close and willing to nurse and nurture and nourish their little babies, when often human mothers can leave their babies! I find that so hard to take in. I wonder what it is, because we, being the most intelligent beings that God has created, we should have even greater understanding of the importance of that nurturing with our little ones.
I thought I’d tell you about some of these mammals, just to encourage you. What does the Bible say? “Doth not even nature itself teach you?” Yes, we can learn even from nature, by their example. Our example should be greater.
Oh, some other interesting things about the orangutan. They have to do a lot of teaching to their young. That’s another reason they stay close together. They’re teaching them all the ways of the forest, and all the different seasons of the fruit trees, and when they’re at harvesting. They’ve got to know it all, because they’ve got to stay alive. They do eat mostly fruit, although when that is scarce, they have to feed on tree barks and insects and birds’ eggs.
But their favorite fruit is durian. Have you even heard of durian? Well, I first came across it many, many years ago when Colin and I were first married. We went to the Philippine Islands as missionaries. When Colin and I were engaged, my future husband went out full time in work for the Lord in New Zealand. We were with an organization called “Tell New Zealand Crusade.” He was involved in taking a copy of the gospel of John personally to every home in New Zealand, along with others.
Then from there, we took that same vision to the Philippine Islands. We were taking out the gospel of John into this nation. It was called “Tell the Nations Crusade.” We went to the Philippines and there we discovered durian.
But I’m so sorry. I have to confess that I never, ever ate it when I was there because there’s a little phrase about durian. This is what people say: “It tastes like heaven, but it smells like hell!” And it did! Oh, goodness me! It was the most terrible smell! I simply could not get past the smell. So, I never ate durian in the Philippines.
Eventually we went back to New Zealand. Later on in the years, we did ministry over in Singapore and Malaysia. It was there that I actually got to love durian. Now back in the Philippines where we were living in Davao City in Mindanao Island, down in the south, Davao was the durian capital of the world! And to think I didn’t even eat it when I was there.
But I can remember gathering up courage to get past the smell, and to eat it when I was in Malaysia. Oh, goodness me! The taste is truly gorgeous! It is so very rich. I could never ever eat it with any other food because it was just too rich. You could have it on its own, and oh! It was so beautiful! I got to really, really love it.
Maybe if I went back to the Philippines again now, I’d love to eat durian. But there was something else when we lived in the Philippines that I never ever ate. It was called balut. We were living down this dirt road in a compound with other Filipinos. Every time I walked out the door and crossed the road, there would be all these Filipinos making balut. And soon as they saw me, they’d call out, “Balut! Balut!” This is what they would do to every passerby because it was a street food. They sold it on the street.
And what was balut? Well, it’s either a chicken egg, or a duck egg, which they boil or steam. But ladies, there is a little bit more to it because it’s not just an egg. They wait for about 21 days before they cook it, so you’re not actually eating an egg. You are eating an embryo!
I could never ever get up courage to eat that half-chicken in the egg, so I actually didn’t taste balut while I was there. I think if I went back now, as I said before, I would try it now. But that was a long time ago. It was when we were first married. Actually, in ten days’ time, my husband and I will celebrate being married for 60 years! That’s right! Six-zero.
Talking about fruit, though, last night I was over at Serene’s. We were having supper with them. I was asking her about her new book that she is writing. She’s currently writing “Trim Healthy Grow.” It’s all for mothers who are in their childbearing years, their fertility years, and for when they’re pregnant and nursing. It’s going to be such an amazing book with all the information you’ll ever, ever need to know.
She was mentioning just a little thing, how that if a pregnant mother eats four or more apples a week, it will be so beneficial for her. It will prevent anemia, prevent gestational diabetes, prevent respiratory problems, and asthma. It also has lot of antioxidants and will strengthen the lungs and especially will strengthen the lungs of your baby that you’re carrying in the womb and lower the chances of them developing asthma later on. It also lowers the chances of birth defects.
I thought that was amazing because it wasn’t some great big thing you had to do. Just eat an apple! Isn’t that amazing? I thought, “Well, that’s a great little hint to pass on to pregnant moms. Eat four or more apples every week. It will be such a blessing to you and your baby. Of course, I think it would be best to eat organic apples, or if you can’t afford them, to at least peel the skins, because I know they do spray the apples a lot. That was most interesting.
Here we are, talking about elevating motherhood to the place where God has put it. We even see through these animals that God has created, the way they mother. Now, getting on to some other things, I think another thing that we should elevate in our homes is our table.
ELEVATE THE VALUE OF YOUR TABLE
The table just looks like an ordinary thing in our home, but I find that many times, families don’t realize the power of their table. I believe that our children will respond according to how much we elevate the table in our home. I’m not talking about making your table higher physically. No, I’m talking about the value that you put upon your table.
Often we’re so busy, and time for another meal. We just put some food together, throw it out on the table. “Come and get it, everybody!” We even put it out on the table, just as it is. We don’t do anything special. It’s just a naked table. So, everybody comes running. They’re hungry. They gobble up some food and they leave. There’s nothing special about the table.
But I believe that if we will just elevate the value that we put on the table, our children will rise to a higher level of behavior at the table. I have seen this happen. Children’s behavior will be according to how you value your table.
Just to put the tablecloth on the table. It’s a very simple thing, although maybe you could be saying, “Well, that is extra work for me.” When you have little ones, you don’t want to be having too much extra washing. So, you may not want to put on a new tablecloth. But you can buy plastic tablecloths that look like real tablecloths. You can get them at JoAnn, probably at Hobby Lobby. You can go and cut it off to how long you want it. Beautiful, beautiful patterns. Just put something pretty on your table.
Maybe all day it’s had books, and you’ve been homeschooling there, and it’s got junk and stuff on it. You’ve got to get all that off. But don’t just bring your family to a naked table. No, put that tablecloth on. And set the table.
Even the Bible talks about setting that table. In Proverbs 9:1-3 it says: “Wisdom hath builded her house. She hath hewn out her seven pillars. She hath killed her beasts. She hath mingled her wines. She hath furnished her table.” She has set her table. She’s made it look beautiful. Now she has all the food on it.
Who is the one who does that? The woman of wisdom. She is the one who prepares and furnishes and sets her table. I think it’s a beautiful thing to do. Even setting the table. It’s a little different here in America. Back in New Zealand, with our English tradition, we always set the table properly, with knives, forks and spoons if we’re having dessert, too.
Here in America, most people just throw down a fork on the table. That’s fine, even if you want to set the table with just a fork. But I think that most Americans don’t even know how to set a table. You can go onto the internet and it will give you a picture of exactly how you are to set your knife, fork, spoon and where to place them.
I do think that is a very important thing for children to learn, even if once a week you set a table properly, as a table is meant to be set. The other nights, you may just want to put the forks, perhaps, even though you’re still going to put a tablecloth. Even if it’s not a real one, just the plastic which you just wipe down. You have to wipe down your table anyway.
But it would be a good idea, I think, to set a table properly so your children grow up knowing how to do this. I find that most young people who come into our home have no idea of how a table is properly set. I was interested when we were on this cruise. Every night (coming to the dining table on an American ship) but the table was set exactly how it’s meant to be.
So, they actually do do it in America! It does something. You can always add something special to the table. Maybe a candle. Maybe some flowers. They can even be wildflowers. Maybe springtime is coming, and soon different little flowers will appear. You can bring them to the table. Or you can bring something of interest, just to make a centerpiece of something interesting to talk about.
You don’t have to be doing all this yourself. You’re teaching young children. You’re teaching them how to do it. Now, ladies, dear mothers, if we’re not teaching our children these very basic things, how will they pass on to the next generation? Already we have a generation of most children and young people who don’t actually know how to set a table properly. That’s the most basic thing in life. We need to be teaching these basic little things.
I think I’ve told you before. It’s worth telling you again. The little phrase that I love to use about the table, I got this from a movie I watched years ago, Babette’s Feast, where this gentleman in this movie said these words. He talked about a woman who was a great chef. He said, “There is a woman who knows how to make every meal into a love affair.”
I was really arrested by those words. I think that’s an amazing vision to have. So, you’re not just putting down some food on the table. No, you’re thinking of how you can make it special! It’s a good idea, ladies, if once a week you do something special. In our home, we do Shabbat every week. But you can do other things.
When our children were growing, I would always think of something different to do, maybe at least once a week. Sometimes I would write name places. We often write name places for guests when they’re coming, don’t we? But it’s something beautiful you can do for your children too. I would get a bit of cardboard folded over so it could stand up, and write their name, but not just their name. Sometimes I would put their name, and then some special phrase or word beside their name that started with the same letter. Like “Billy—Bold for God.”
Just a little thing like that. Sometimes I would spend some time, maybe a couple of weeks before I would do it. I would be writing a little couplet, or sometimes a little four-line rhyme for the children about their character. I would write that for them. Sometimes I would write a limerick for them.
So, they will get this, and it will be on their plate when they come to the table. It is so special for them. It’s amazing. When you do these little things, children spark up. They want to be good at the table because it’s something special. Even when little children see a candle lit, oh, it really does something special for them. You can think of all these different ideas.
Of course, another thing; not only remembering to prepare your food, but preparing what you will talk about. Think about it beforehand. Think of some questions you can bring to your children to ask them at the table, maybe a subject you’d like to discuss with them. Get each one to take a turn at sharing what they think about it.
FACE TO FACE TABLE FELLOWSHIP
Anything new that you are learning, because we should all be seeking to learn something new all the time. Well, share it with the children at the table! Ask them, “Have you learned anything new today?” Get them to share that so that when you’re there, you’re all interacting together. That’s what the table is. It’s interaction. It’s face-to-face, table fellowship. That’s why we’re sitting around because we can communicate with one another. That’s very important.
If the children come to the table, and you all just sit there and you don’t have anything prepared for what you’re going to talk about, no questions to ask, well, you will find that the conversation is pretty boring. Goes nowhere and nothing happens.
You see, you have to make things happen. The affirmation I use constantly is,
“Things don’t just happen. You have to make them happen.”
You can make your table as wonderful or amazing as you want it. You just have to make it happen! And then it becomes such a glorious, wonderful place! Yes!
But there are a few other things that I think are important to remember about a table. These are all things that we’re teaching our children, not only for the blessing in our own home, but when they go to other homes. And that is, firstly that when they come to the table, of course, when they come, they’re going to come on time.
Well, usually we have about the time we’re going to eat. So, we need to remind our children to come at that time so that they’re around you as you’re finishing off preparing the meal. They can be helping you, doing last-minute things, and then you’ll have the helpers around you anyway, chopping and cutting up, and helping with the preparation of the meal. Because the mother should never do it on her own.
Even from when children are little, she is teaching them how to help her prepare, cut, and chop. It’s amazing how even young children can do this so amazingly! I’ve seen young children who are better than some adults! Some of those adults never had much training. Then there are other children who hardly even know how to cut a piece of celery! They’ve never done it! Start with your children when they are young. They are part of preparing the meal.
SIT AT THE TABLE
Then you’re all going to sit down together, and guess what? You’re going to sit! Yes, we do sit at the table. Isn’t that a strange thing to say, that we have to sit at the table? But so many today don’t even sit for their meals! They don’t even sit around the table. Oh, goodness me! It is so important to sit, because the Bible talks so much about sitting at the table!
I’ve been reading through the gospels, and I read, “And Jesus sat at the table.” In another place, “He was at the table.” So much of where Jesus taught, and even where miracles happened, was at the table, where they were sitting.
I think of the example of the feeding of the 5,000. This particular miracle, ladies, is mentioned in every one of the four gospels. It’s very interesting. When Jesus fed the 5,000, plus women and children, do you remember reading how Jesus would not feed this multitude until every single person was sitting down?
Another interesting thing, let’s start off with Matthew, of course. Matthew 14, verses 13 and onwards. In Matthew 14:19, it says something very interesting: “And Jesus commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground.” Isn’t that interesting? It didn’t say, “And He said, ‘Oh, well, I think it would be great if you all sat down.’” No, He commanded.
In fact, if we go over to the Mark passage, that’s in Mark 6:39. Here it says: “And He commanded them,” that’s the disciples, “He commanded,” the same word again, “He commanded the disciples to make all sit down by companies upon the green grass. And they sat down by ranks, by hundreds, and by fifties.” And then it goes on to say how He blessed the bread and gave it to them. But once again, we see the word “commanded.” He commanded the disciples, and He said to His disciples, “Now you make them sit down.” Isn’t that interesting?
Go over to Luke’s gospel. Here we read the same story again in Luke 9. What does it say here? Luke 9:14: “And there were about 5,000 men. And He said to His disciples, ‘Make them sit down by fifties, in a company.’ And they did so, and made them all sit down.” Now, do you notice those words again? They “made them all sit down.” And then verse 16: “And then Jesus took the five loaves and the two fishes and gave it to them all.” Isn’t that interesting? Jesus did not give them the food until everyone was sitting down. And He had to make them.
Now, it’s interesting that we have those words “commanded,” and “make,” because oh, dear lovely mothers, I know that you face this all the time, because when you’re teaching your children, when you’re training them, you’re teaching them to sit down. You find, oops, they pop up! One will run to the toilet, and they want to do this, and they want to do that. But you’re teaching them to sit down.
YOU’RE NOT MEANT TO EAT “ON THE RUN”
I want you to be reminded that it is a biblical thing. It’s not just for the sake of sitting down. It is because, when you sit down to eat, you will receive far more nutrients from your food by just sitting, relaxing, and eating than just eating standing up, or eating on the run. We’re not meant to eat on the run.
Today, in our busy lives, people do this all the time. They’ll just grab something, eat on the run. No, you might as well not eat. Jesus gave the example. He wants us to sit down. There’s another passage, where there were so many crowds around, and Jesus was healing everyone. It was lunch time, and they were hungry. He said to His disciples, “Come, look, we’re going to find a quiet place where we can sit and where we have leisure” (Mark 6:31).
Interesting. He uses the word “leisure,” because it would have been so easy for them. Jesus could have said, “Oh, OK, just go and get some food, and we’ll eat this as we’re continuing to heal the people and everything.” No, Jesus stopped, and He took time to take a leisurely time to eat. All this is in the Bible.
And then, the last gospel, John, it says it again. John 6:10: “And Jesus said, ‘Make the men sit down.’ Now, there was much grass in the place. So, the men sat down, in the number about 5,000. And Jesus took the loaves, and when He had given thanks, He distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were sat down.” Those are the ones who got the food. Isn’t that interesting? Yes, I love having a Scriptural basis for everything we do. Don’t you?
Now, when your children come to the table, where do they sit? Do they just run and sit anywhere? Oh, I guess they can if they want. It depends on what you like to do in your family. Everybody likes to do things differently.
I do think it’s so important for the husband to sit at the head of the table, because he is the head of the home. I think it’s a beautiful way for the wife to honor her husband as the head as she places his plate at the head of the table. It’s wonderful for the children without having to be lectured about it. They just see that Daddy is the head of the home. And he takes his place there. It establishes his headship and his authority without having to say anything.
We see a little placing of people way back in another story in the Old Testament. Actually, one mother came to me, and she said, “Oh, Nancy, I don’t know what to do. My children sit down, and they all squabble, because one wants to sit here, and one wants to sit there, and they’re all fighting over where they’re going to sit.” I said, “Well, look. Why don’t you make assigned seating? And tell them exactly where they will sit?”
I think this is a very good idea, because it takes away a lot of children from wanting to do their own thing. And, of course, you can change that from time to time. Maybe in a month or two, and they can then have different places. But they should know where they’re going to sit.
We see this, actually, in the story of where David was beginning to see that King Saul was against him. It was getting a bit scary, because he was starting to throw javelins at him and everything. He and Jonathan went out into the field to decide what they would do. They made up a plan.
1 Samuel 20:5: “And David said unto Jonathan, Behold, tomorrow is the new moon, and I should not fail to sit with the king at meat.” That means at the table for supper. “But let me go, that I may hide myself in the field unto the third day.” So, he’s saying here, “OK, I should never fail to be at the table.” If he wasn’t in his place, well, something would have happened. But anyway, they’re going to see if they can make this work and find out what will happen.
Down in verse 18, “Then Jonathan said to David, Tomorrow is the new moon: and thou shalt be missed, because thy seat will be empty.” Isn’t that interesting? There was a seat for each person at the table. They knew his seat would be empty and what would King Saul say?
The story goes on, and it comes to the evening meal. The king sat at his table, in his usual place. Yes, against the wall, with Jonathan sitting opposite him, and Abner beside him. You see how everyone had a different place? And isn’t that amazing, ladies? Why does the Bible take time to explain even little things like this? Just the place at the table. Because all these things are important.
Then it goes on to say, “But David’s place was empty.” And, of course, the story goes on then, of how eventually David did have to leave, knowing that King Saul was so angry with him. There we see how all these little things are so important.
NO IPHONES AT THE TABLE
Of course, at your table, you will never have any iPhones, will you? Oh, can you believe it? I’ve had people at my table, and I have seen them looking down, sort of down past the table. I know that they’re looking at their iPhone which is on their knees, hidden away. I’ve had to say, “Sorry. We don’t have iPhones at our table.” You see, that is the rudest thing you can ever do!
It’s amazing. People today are so addicted to their iPhones. They can’t even leave them to come to the table! They’ve got to have them. You go to a restaurant, and you see families and they’re all just looking at their iPhones. They’re not even communicating with one another. But the table is for communication. We put iPhones away. You might like a basket, where they can all put them, as they come to the table, or whatever you want to do. But we don’t do that.
DO NOT WHISPER PRIVATELY AT THE TABLE
No whispering with one another at the table. To whisper to someone else at the table is, once again, so rude. You don’t do that in front of people. At the table, if what you’re going to say can’t be said to everybody, well, don’t say it at all.
I have never allowed whispering at the table to someone, or even having private conversations. No, we don’t have private conversations. We are a “togetherness.” We are together as a family so we all communicate together. You have to learn how to encourage that, and teach your children that.
Time has gone, but I know you know all these things. But I want to just encourage you in them and remind you of them, because we’re transmitting these things to the next generation. If we’re not doing them in our homes, if we’re not training in our homes, it will be lost!
In fact, I had some friends. They were forever going out for meals all the time. They went out. I said to them, “Help! How are your children going to know how to even have a meal at home if you just go out all the time?” This is the thing. We’ve got to think about the following generation. What are WE passing on to them?
“Lord, we thank You for another time together. We thank You for family. We thank You that this is the plan, Your eternal plan, for the way You want us to live as families in our homes. Lord God, help us to establish strong, healthy, godly homes, and a beautiful family life.
“I pray that You will bless every mother, father, children, and families who are listening. In Jesus’ Name, amen”.
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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Transcribed by Darlene Norris *This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
P.S. More information from Darlene:
“Haha, now there's going to be a run on thrift stores, with people looking to buy old Bibles and dictionaries! 😉 But you know, I was reading today how the censors have "updated" Roald Dahl's books. The article said that Amazon had already "updated" books that people had downloaded onto their Kindles! The author said this is why you should have hard copies of books.
Andrew (her husband) has been saying the same thing. He says we should always have hard copies of the Bible, not just electronic ones. It's very handy to have them on your phone, or your Kindle, but he said that if the powers that be decided to change them, most people would never know the difference! And he's right. We'll keep adding to our collection as we go along!”