WHO DO YOU LIKE TO PLEASE?
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5 ESV)
Who are you pleasing today? I guess that if we are honest we have to confess that we tend to please ourselves more than anyone else. Although we have our husband and the constant needs of our children to attend to all day, we still like to do what we like to do, don’t we? However, Romans 15:1-3 tells us that we are “not to please ourselves… For even Christ pleased not himself.” Jesus “came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life…” (Matthew 20:28). He gave us His example so we “should follow his steps” (1 Peter 2:21 and Philippians 2:3-8).
It really gets to the “nitty gritty” when Paul talks about marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Once again, in this passage nobody gets to please themselves. Paul says that the unmarried woman is free to please the Lord. This means she loves to serve others, because we please the Lord by serving and blessing His people. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things because she wants to please her husband. He becomes her first priority.
The bottom line is that if you are single, you can give yourself 100 percent to focusing on the Lord and serving Him. However, if you are married, you are bound to please your husband. And it’s not meant to be a duty. The word “please” not only means to seek to please, but it involves the exciting of the emotions! What are some of the ways you can please your husband today and in the coming days?
1. Delight to be his helper
The first description of a wife is a “helper” (Genesis 2:15). Really? Maybe you are thinking you are the one who needs help! You have the little children around you all day who constantly draw on your resources. Don’t despair, mother. The word “helper” is the same word that is used to describe God who is “our help and our shield” (Psalm 33:20) and who is our “help and our deliverer” (Psalm 70:5). As a helper, you reveal the likeness of God who is always available to come to our aid. You are also a helper to your husband as you care for your home and your children. Together you are building a godly home and this is the blessed part that God has given to you.
2. Smile at him
How often do you smile at your husband? Or do you give him more frowns than smiles? Start a new habit of smiling at him each time you look at him. Even when you don’t feel like smiling, do it. Your action will change your attitude. Not only smile at your husband, but smile at your children. The whole atmosphere of your home will change.
3. Laugh with him
Don’t get so boring that you never take time to laugh. Laugh at the little things. Laugh together as you watch the children.
4. Look adoringly at him
When your husband speaks to you, look at him adoringly. I am sure you did this before you married. The way to please your husband is to do the same things you did before you were married, the little things that made him fall in love with you. Keep doing those things and he’ll keep falling in love with you over and over again. For a joke, I tell my husband that I have married two husbands—the first skinny one who was so skinny that you could hardly see him, and the fatter one! I feel in love with the skinny one, but I am still in love with the second one and think he is the most handsome man on the planet. And I continually remind him.
5. Speak sweetly, kindly and lovingly to him
He can’t take your criticism. He can’t take your harshness. He can’t take your retorts. He can’t take your indifference. He will run from it. Do you want to draw him closer to you? Sweet talk him. Speak encouraging words to him. And never forget to say, “I love you” every day. You are allowed to say it more than once a day. In fact, I give you permission to say it ten times if you would like!
6. Touch him each time he passes
Give him a kiss or cuddle each time you are near him or pass him in the home. Or at least touch him lovingly. You can never kiss him enough. You can never touch him enough. Make it a habit.
7. Be intoxicating to him
Do not deprive him sexually. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 says that we are to fulfill each other’s sexual needs. The KJV calls it giving one another “due benevolence.” The full understanding of these words means, “we owe it to one another, we are under obligation to one another, we have a debt to one another, and a duty to one another.”
Proverbs 5:19 tells husbands “to be always intoxicated with her love.” Whose love? The wife’s love. That means that you are to be ravishing, captivating, and intoxicating to your husband. The Hebrew word actually means “to lead astray.” Do you like that? Don’t wait for your husband to initiate love-making. Surprise him. Lead him astray from the worries and burdens of his day and intoxicate him. You’ll forget your worries, too.
1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV says, “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you.” Are you currently doing a season of fasting and prayer? If not, you know what you should be doing!
8. Honor him
My, this is where I often fall down. There is even more than submitting to your husband and obeying him (Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18 and Titus 2:5). God wants you to honor your husband. The greatest way you can please your husband is to respect and honor him. Husbands long for this more than anything else. The Amplified Version of Ephesians 5:33 explains the Greek word very clearly, “Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband (that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly).” What a challenge.
You know the old saying, “The grass is greener on the other side of the fence.” This applies to marriage, too. Satan would like to destroy your marriage. He loves to bring deceiving and dissatisfying thoughts to your mind. Don’t listen to his lies! Instead, water, feed, and fertilize your marriage. It will grow so luscious and green that you’ll never want to take another look anywhere else.
Love from NANCY CAMPBELL
“Dear Father, please save me from being taken up with myself and my own interests. Show me the delight in serving and pleasing my husband. Amen.”
Instead of dull, I will be desirable; instead of insipid, I will be intoxicating; instead of staying in the rut, I will be ravishing.