WHEN SHOULD YOUNG PEOPLE MARRY?
We are continuing to look at Malachi 2:14-16 passage about marriage. I notice another interesting phrase in this passage. This Scripture talks about the “wife of thy youth.” That’s a rather interesting phrase, especially in the light of society today.The word youth is “na’uwr” and means “the state of juvenility, youthfulness.” That means mid to late teens. That’s certainly a different concept than the average age for marriage in the United States which is nearly 30 years for men and nearly 28 years for women.
Although many couples may not meet the right one until they are older, there are some who meet when they are younger. I don’t think they should be disqualified from getting married if the parents believe the person they have chosen is a godly young man or woman. The young man should have a good work ethic and be able to provide for his wife. The young couple should be ready for the responsibility of parenthood for that is part of being prepared for marriage.
I know many young couples who have married at 18 years of age, including many They have beautiful marriages. The young men are mature, providing well, and embracing children with love and joy.
This maturity often depends on the way they were raised. Too many young people today are not raised for maturity. They are in a prolonged state of juvenility. When our children turn 13, we should be encouraging and programming them into adulthood—to take responsibility, to work hard, and to prepare for marriage and parenthood. This training is even more important than the rest of their education.
Instead, many young people expect everything to be done for them. They have not been trained to work hard or to work for what they want. The number of young people who are now part of the “Peter Pan” syndrome is increasing. They still live at home with their parents. They take no responsibility for themselves. They can’t even bring themselves to get married, let alone take on the responsibility of children. It’s also called the “Failure to Launch” syndrome. According to the July 2022 US Census Bureau, 58 percent of 18 – 24 year olds are still living at home with their parents, and the percentage is increasing.
Psalm 144:12 talks about our sons “GROWN UP in their youth.” The Young’s Literal Translation says: “BECOMING GREAT in their youth.” Rather than wasting teen years like irresponsible children, they should be moving into adulthood, preparing for marriage and family.
This phrase in Malachi is not an isolated phrase.
Isaiah 54:4, 6 also speaks of the “wife of thy youth.”
Proverbs 2:17 speaks of the “husband of thy youth.”
Psalm 127:4 talks of the “children of the youth.” They not only married young but had their children young. Many young people waste the energetic and glorious years of their twenties, filling their lives with selfish pursuits that will be left behind, when their twenties are the greatest time to have their children.
I believe it is another ploy of the enemy to stop the “godly seed” coming into the world. Often it is more difficult to conceive with they marry later and they miss the blessings of children God longs to give to them. We could even use a stronger word. They are often stolen from them by the enemy who deceives them into thinking that other things are more important than bringing eternal souls into the world. And then sometimes it’s too late.
Before David went out to kill Goliath Saul called him a “youth” (1 Samuel 17:33). Most commentators say that David would have only been about 17 years when he killed Goliath. King Saul promised he would give his daughter to the man who killed Goliath so he must have married soon after.
King Solomon would have been no more than 20 years when he began to reign and began to make his kingdom the richest in the world at that time. Josephus puts his age at 14 years.
King Josiah became a king at eight years of age and was guided by the priest. However, when he was only 16 years of age “while he was yet young, he began to seek after the God of David his father” (2 Chronicles 34:3).
And did you know that the disciples were most probably all in their teenage years when Jesus called them? Peter would have been the oldest at about 20 years and he was married.
Let’s not settle for allowing our children to waste their adolescent teen years, but let’s prepare them for maturity for marriage.
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
Picture: Cedar and Halle Allison, married December last year. Halle was 18 years and Cedar 21 years. Cedar built their house in readiness for their wedding day, and they are expecting a baby girl later this year. They are both very mature and productive young people. Cedar is Sam and Serene Allison’s son, and Halle is the daughter of Daniel and Allison Hartman who organize the Above Rubies Family Retreats in Florida each year.
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