WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT HONORING PARENTS

“But to this man will I look, even to him that is poor, and of a contrite spirit,
and trembleth at my word”
(Isaiah 66:2).

GOD COMMANDS EACH PERSON TO . . .

 1.    HONOR YOUR PARENTS

Exodus 20:12: “HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”

Deuteronomy 5:16: “HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.”

This command is written EIGHT times altogether in the Bible, SIX times in the New Testament: Matthew 15:4; 19:19; Mark 7:10; 10:19; Luke 18:20; and Ephesians 6:2, 3: “Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise: That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”

Romans 7:13: “Render therefore to all their dues . . . HONOR TO WHOM HONOR.”

Do you notice that God gives not only one promise, but two promises! You will live long and have a good life.

Do you notice also that it is “FIRST commandment with promise.” When God says something the first time in the Scriptures, it is called “the law of the first mention” and it is very important. God will never deviate from the first words He speaks on a subject. They are the foundation. He will repeat them, add to them, but never deviate. We are stuck with this commandment from God. We cannot get away from it. God allows no excuses for not obeying it.

The word honor in Hebrew is kabad and means “to be heavy, weighty, to be made abundant, to honor, to glorify.” Parents must not be treated lightly. Honor is a weighty and heavy thing and honor given to parents must not be shallow but weighty.

The promise “that it may go well with thee” is yatav in the Hebrew and means “good, beautiful, pleasant, lovely, glad, cheerful.” What wonderful blessings to add to your life.

We also notice that “the land” is mentioned. Our nation will be blessed when we have families where children honor their parents. When the Israelites stopped obeying God’s commandments, He “spewed them out of their land” (Leviticus 18:26-28; 20:2).

It is Instinctive to Honor Parents

Malachi 1:6: “A son honoreth his father, and a servant his master: if then I be a father, where is mine honor? And if I be a master, where is my fear? saith the LORD of hosts unto you.” This Scripture reveals that it is an instinctive thing for children to honor their parents. This is how we learn to honor God. If we do not honor our parents (both father and mother) we are not honoring God, no matter what we say or what good works we do.

The great Bible commentator, Albert Barnes, writes on this Scripture: “God appeals to the first feelings of the human heart, the relation of parent and child, or, failing this, to the natural self-interest of those dependent on their fellowmen. A ‘son’ by the instinct of nature, by the unwritten law written in the heart, honoreth his father.’ If he fails to do so, he is counted to have broken the law of nature, to be an unnatural son. If he is, what by nature he ought to be, he does really honor him. He does not even speak of love, as to which they might deceive themselves. He speaks of ‘honor,’ outward reference only, which whoso showeth not, would openly condemn himself as an unnatural son.”

Some may say, “But my parents do not deserve honor.” John Piper replies: “There is an honor we freely and graciously bestow on the undeserving. We treat them better than they deserve. We assume the position toward them as servants. We exalt them as though they were worthy to be served, when in fact, they’re not worthy to be served. We bestow a free honor upon them which is called grace, the way Christ did to us.”

The New Testament also uses the same truth to show that honoring parents is a prerequisite to honoring God. Hebrews 12:9 says: “Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?”

Conversely, if we do not reverence our parents, how can we reverence God? What did Charlie Kirk say? “If you cannot honor your earthly father and mother, you cannot honor your heavenly Father.”

Example of Solomon and Bathsheba

We read in 1 Kings 2:19 where Solomon showed honor to Bathsheba because she was his mother: “Bathsheba therefore went unto king Solomon, to speak unto him . . . And the king rose up to meet her, and bowed himself unto her, and sat down on his throne, and caused a seat to be set for the king’s mother, and she sat on his right hand.”

Mothers are to be honored with actions, not just in the mind.

2.    OBEY YOUR PARENTS

Proverbs 30:17: “The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to OBEY HIS MOTHER, the ravens of the valley shall pluck it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.”

Ephesians 6:1: “Children OBEY YOUR PARENTS in the LORD, for this is right.”

Colossians 3:20: “Children OBEY YOUR PARENTS IN ALL THINGS: for this is well-pleasing unto the LORD.”

Did you notice in Colossians 3:20 that God says obedience to parents is “well-pleasing” to Him? Not only pleasing, but well-pleasing. It is impossible to please God without obedience to parents.

The word obey in the Greek is hypakouo (pronounced hoop-ak-oo-o) and means “to hearken to a command, to obey, to be obedient unto, submit to, to listen attentively, to heed or conform to a command.”

Read these different examples of when hypakouo was used in the New Testament. They help us to understand how children should obey parents.

Matthew 8:27 (Mark 4:14 and Luke 8:25): The winds obey Jesus.

Mark 1:27: The unclean spirits obey Jesus.

Luke 17:6: Trees obey Jesus when He tells them to be planted elsewhere.

Romans 6:12: We must never obey the lusts of the flesh.

Romans 6:17: We must obey from the heart the doctrine of the Lord.

Romans 10:16: We must obey the gospel.

Ephesians 6: 5 and Colossians 3:22: Servants must obey their masters in all things.

Philippians 2:12: We must ALWAYS obey the Lord.

1 Thessalonians 1:8: God will take vengeance on them that do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 5:9: We receive eternal salvation when we obey the Lord.

Hebrews 11:8: Abraham obeyed God when God told him to leave Ur of Chaldea even when he had no idea where he was going.

1 Timothy 3:1-5: “This know also, that in the last days perilous times should come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form or godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.

The Bible calls it “perilous times” when children are “disobedient to parents” and “without natural affection” toward them.

 3.    REVERE YOUR PARENTS

Leviticus 19:2, 3: “Speak unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say unto them, Ye shall be holy: for I the LORD your God am holy. Ye shall FEAR EVERY MAN HIS MOTHER, AND HIS FATHER, and keep my sabbaths. I am the LORD your God.”

It is very interesting that in this Scripture where it says to “fear” parents, the MOTHER is mentioned first. God wants the mother to be revered in the same way as the father, and the mother is emphasized in this regard. It is one of three Scriptures where the mother is mentioned first. Read also Genesis 44:20 and Leviticus 21:1-4.

Notice also that to “fear thy mother” is the first commandment given after the admonition to “be holy.” According to God, the Creator of all, if a person does not revere their mother, they cannot be considered holy. Wow. Did you get that? The proof of your walking in holiness is that you will revere your mother and father.

Leviticus 18:7: “The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shall thou not uncover: SHE IS THY MOTHER, thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.”

4.    BLESS YOUR PARENTS

Proverbs 30:11: “There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.”

The word bless is barak and means “to adore, to praise, to invoke blessings in the name of God, kneel before, to bend the knee.” It is the same word that is used in Psalm 95:6: “O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker.”

Proverbs 23:25: “Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.”

Proverbs 31:28: “Her children ARISE UP, and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her.” We take note of this Scripture each Friday evening as we celebrate Shabbat together. We usually have a visiting family at our table each week. My husband reads Proverbs 31 at the beginning of the meal and when we get to verse 28, he asks all the children to stand up and tell their mother how much they appreciate her. It is such a beautiful time and such a wonderful opportunity for children to bless their mother.

 5.    NEVER BELITTLE YOUR PARENTS

GOD’S JUDGMENT IS ON THOSE WHO BELITTLE OR LIGHTLY ESTEEM THEIR PARENTS

Exodus 21:15: “And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.”

Exodus 21:17: “He that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.”

Leviticus 20:9: “For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him.” This Scripture puts the fear of God into us, doesn’t it?

Proverbs 20:20: “Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.”

I am sure you would state after reading these Scriptures that you would never curse your parents, even if they had not been a good example. However, we are challenged when we fully understand the meaning of the word “curse” in the above Scriptures. It is qalal and means “to make of little account, to make insignificant, to lightly esteem, to make despicable, to treat with contempt, to dishonor, to belittle.”

A person may not curse their father or mother, but if they lightly esteem them and make them of little account, God sees it as a curse. When young people “turn up their nose” or even ignore a parent, God sees it as a curse. And God’s judgement on this sin is not light. Fathers AND mothers are to be heavily honored and never treated lightly.

It is even more powerful when God uses the same word for the sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas. 1 Samuel 3:13 states: “I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile (qalal), and he restrained them not.” How did they make themselves vile? By lightly esteeming the things of God. They treated them with contempt. God calls it “vile” in this Scripture.

The New Testament gives the same judgment

Matthew 15:4 and Mark 7:10: “For God commanded, saying, Honor thy father and mother; and, he that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.”

FURTHER SCRIPTURES OF JUDGMENT WITH DIFFERENT HEBREW WORDS

Deuteronomy 27:16: “Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen.”

The words “setteth light” is a different Hebrew word. This time it is qala, a different word but a similar meaning, “to lightly esteem, to treat with disdain or lack of due respect, to make of small worth, to treat triflingly, insignificantly, to dishonor, to despise with looks and gestures, treat with contempt, treat shamefully.” Both fathers and mothers are to be highly honored. God sees when this is not happening.

We see an example of the meaning of this Scripture in a prophetic word of Christ.  Isaiah 50:7: “I gave my back to the smiters, and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair: I hid not my face from shame and spitting.”

I have seen some young people turn their face away from their father or mother just because they didn’t like them or want to look at them. Their parent did not spit at them or pull hair from them. They loved them and ached from them. Jesus did not even turn his head from shame and spitting. How can a young person turn their head away from a parent who loves them? Oh, I wonder how God looks upon this in the light of all His commands about honoring parents.

Proverbs 15:20: “A wise son maketh a glad father; but a foolish man despiseth his mother.” The Hebrew word for despise is baza and means “to regard with contempt, as worthless, to disdain, to scorn.” And what does Proverbs 12:15 say? “The way of the fool is right in his own eyes: but he that heakeneth unto counsel is wise.”

Proverbs 23:22: “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.” The word for “despise not” is buz and means “to despise, hold as insignificant, show despite towards.” We notice how so many of these words mean “to look upon as insignificant.”

I believe children (young and older) should always speak well of their parents. Even if one parent has not been the father or mother that they expected them to be, there are always some good things in them. Speak about those good things. Don’t harp on about the negative things. My heart grieves when I hear people speaking negative things about their parents. There will always some good thing to speak about. Take time to think about them. Remember, God is watching. God is listening.

Do you remember reading Deuteronomy 5:16 and Ephesians 6:3 where we are promised that “it may go well with thee.” In the Greek the word well is eu and means you will have a good life. But we must remember the commandment before the promise which is to honor our parents. That means we speak good things about our parents and do good things for them. If you are not speaking good things about them, don’t expect the promise of a good life!

Proverbs 19:26, 27: “He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach. Cease, my son, to hear the instruction that causeth to err from the words of knowledge.” The Hebrew word for “wasteth away” is sadad meaning “to destroy and devastate.” The word for “chaseth away” is barah and means “to chase or drive away, to put to flight.”

New Living Translation: “Children who mistreat their father or chase away their mother are an embarrassment and a public disgrace.”

Holman Translation: “The one who assaults his father and evicts his mother is a disgraceful and shameful son.”

Proverbs 28:24: “Whoso robbeth his father or his mother and saith, It is no transgression; the same is the companion of a destroyer.”

The Hebrew word for “robbeth” is gazal meaning “to tear away, to take away by force, to seize, to rob, the one who claims for himself the goods of another by injustice of any kind.”

The New English Translation commentary states: “While the expression is general enough to cover any kind of robbery the point seems to be that because it can be rationalized it may refer to prematurely trying to gain control of the family property through some form of pressure and in the process reducing the parents’ possessions and standing in the community. The culprit could claim what he does is not wrong because the state would be his anyway.” Read similar Scriptures in Job 20:19-29 and Micah 2:2, 9 which are in the context of taking away houses.

The King James also translates “rob” with these words: “cast out,” “drive out,” “thrust out,” and the same word is used for “divorcing” a woman. Therefore to cast a woman out of a home is like divorcing her.

New Living Translation: “Anyone who steals from his father and mother and says, ‘What’s wrong with that?’ is no better than a murderer.”

Knox: “Shall he who robs father or mother make light of it? He is next door to a murderer.”

Good News Translation: “Anyone who thinks it isn’t wrong to steal from his parents is no better than a common thief.”

Proverbs 30:17: “The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pluck it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.” The word mock is la’ag and means “to deride, ridicule, to scorn.” To even raise the eyebrows in disdain is implied in the word “mocketh.” We must beware of every belittling or negative attitude or word toward our parents, and all older people.

 6.    NEVER BRING GRIEF TO YOUR PARENTS

Proverbs 10:1: “A wise son maketh a glad father; but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.”

Proverbs 17:21: “He that begetteth a fool doeth it to his sorrow: and the father of a fool hath no joy.

Proverbs 17:25: “A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.”

Proverbs 19:13: “A foolish son is the calamity of his father.” Read also Deuteronomy 21:18-21.

Proverbs 23:24, 25: “The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.”

7.    LISTEN TO THE INSTRUCTION OF YOUR PARENTS

Deuteronomy 6:7-9: “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Read also Deuteronomy 11:19-21.

Proverbs 1:7- 9: “Fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.”

Proverbs 4:1: “Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.”

Proverbs 6:20-24: “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law (teaching) of thy mother. Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life.”

Proverbs 8:32, 33: “Now therefore hearken unto me, O ye children: Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not.”

Proverbs 13:1: “A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.” Read also Proverbs 9:9; 10:8, 17; 12:1, 15; 13:18; 15:10, 31, 32; 17:10; 19:20; 21:11; 23:12.

Proverbs 15:5: “A fool despiseth his father’s instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.”

Proverbs 23:19: “Hear thou, my son, and be wise.”

Proverbs 23:22: “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.”

Proverbs 29:3: “Whoso loveth wisdom rejoiceth his father.”

Proverbs 31:1: “The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.”

Isaiah 38:19: “The father to the children shall make known thy truth.”

 8.    DO NOT DESPISE THE DISCIPLINE OF YOUR PARENTS 

Proverbs 3:12: “For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.”

Proverbs 13:24: “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him quickly.”

Proverbs 19:18: “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul

spare for his crying.”

Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Proverbs 23:13 14: “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with a rod he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”

Proverbs 29:15: “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

Proverbs 29:17: “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”

Hebrews 12:6-11: “If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; fore what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? . . . Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”

 9.    PROVIDE FOR YOUR PARENTS WHEN THEY ARE OLDER

Matthew 15:4-8 (TLB): “But you say, 'Even if your parents are in need, you may

give their support money to the church instead.' And so, by your man-made rule,

 you nullify the direct command of God to honor and care for your parents. You

hypocrites!” Read also Mark 7:9-13.

1 Timothy 5:3, 4, 8 (MLB): “If any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to practice religion at home and so to make recompense to those who nurtured them; for so it is acceptable in God's sight . . . Whoever does not provide for his dependents, and especially for his own family, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

HCSB: “But if any widow has children or grandchildren, they must learn to practice godliness toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God.”

God gives the responsibility to children and grandchildren to look after their

parents when they are older. Their parents sacrificed their lives for them in their

early years, now it is their turn to minister to their parents. We see a beautiful

example of this in the life of Joseph.

The Example of Joseph

Genesis 45:9-11: After Joseph revealed himself to his brothers in Egypt, he said:

“Go up to my father, and say unto him . . . Thou shalt dwell in the land of Goshen,

and thou shalt be near unto me, thou, and thy children, and thy children’s

children, and thy flocks, and thy herds, and all that thou hast. And there will I

nourish thee.”

The word “nourish” is the Hebrew kuwl. It means “to maintain, feed, guide,

nourish, make provision, sustain, and provide sustenance.”

THE VERY BEST

Genesis 47:11, 12 tells us that Joseph kept to his word and fulfilled his promise to

nourish and care for his father and his family. He did not do it out of duty but gave

him the very best!

“And Joseph placed his father and his brethren, and gave them a possession . . . in

the best of the land . . . and Joseph nourished his father and his brethren, and

 all his father’s household with bread, according to their families.”

The Example of David

When David was fleeing from Saul, trying to save his life, he still took time to

think of his parents and make provision for them. He knew that they would also

be vulnerable to Saul’s madness. Therefore, while he was a fugitive he found

safety for them with the king of Moab. He was able to do this because of being

quarter-Moabite. His great-grandmother was Ruth the Moabitess.

1 Samuel 22:3, 4: “David went thence to Mizpeh of Moab: and he said unto the

king of Moab, Let my father and my mother I pray three, come forth, and be with

you, till I know what God will do for me. And he brought them before the king of

Moab: and they dwelt with him all the while that David was in the hold.”

The Example of Jesus

Even when Jesus was agonizing in pain on the cross, he thought of his

mother, honored her, and made sure she would be cared for.

John 19:25- 7: “Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his

mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus

therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith

unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold

thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.”

10.   GOD’S CONCERN FOR OLDER PARENTS AND ELDERS

It is important to honor parents, grandparents and great-grandparents because God sees families as generational. We must also see them generationally. God honors the generations. He calls Himself by a generational name. Exodus 3:15 says: “And God said moreover unto Moses, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, the LORD God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob hath sent me unto you: THIS IS MY NAME FOREVER, and this is my memorial UNTO ALL GENERATIONS.” See also Exodus 3:6 4:5; Matthew 22:32; Mark 12:26; Luke 20:37; and Acts 7:33.

The first 11 chapters of Genesis speak of the creation of the world, the flood, and establishing mankind. You would think it would take the whole book of Genesis, but no, only eleven chapters. The next 39 chapters (50 chapters altogether) are filled with the story of a family—father, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

We are not only teaching our children to live life now, but how to honor past generations— grandparents, and even great-grandparents if they are still alive. If we don’t teach them how to honor them in deeds and words, how will they know how to continue that honor? If you do not look upon your family generationally, you haven’t got God’s picture of the family.

Even the promise of salvation is for the generations: Acts 2:38, 39: “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. For the promise is unto you, and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call.”

Lightly esteeming the older generation is opposite to an epidemic that is happening in this end-time when many older children are cutting off their parents. It is inspired by Satan. And it is the opposite to God’s generational heart. Each person must seek with all their hearts to keep “strong and tight” the generational family ties. Think of ideas of how to plan functions to bring the generations together. This is true family living—generationally!

Leviticus 19:32 (MLB): “Stand up before the gray-haired person, honor the face of the aged and revere your God. I am the Lord.”

Job 12:12, 13: “With the ancient is wisdom, and in length of days understanding. With him is wisdom and strength, he hath counsel and understanding.”

Proverbs 3:27: “Withhold not good from them to whom it is due, when it is in the power of thine hand to do it.”

1 Thessalonians 5:12, 13: “And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labor among you, and are over you in the Lord, and admonish you; And to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake.”

1 Timothy 5:1, 2: “Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father . . . the elder women as mothers.” The New English Translation says: “Do not address an older man harshly but appeal to him as a father.”

1 Timothy 5:17: “Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially they who labor in the word and doctrine.”

Hebrews 13:7: “Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation (manner of life).”

1 Peter 5:5: “Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder . . .”

 

Prepared by Nancy Campbell

www.aboverubies.org

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DO YOU WANT TO LIVE A LONG LIFE?

Podcasts 380 – 384.

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

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