LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 328: What Do You Do While You Wait for The Man of Your Dreams? Part 4

Caitlin continues to discuss with me the rest of the 21 points to the question: What qualities should a girl look for in a husband? These points are important for gals, guys, and parents. Girls must know what to look for. However, girls should have these same qualities if they want a man after God’s own heart. And mothers, we are the ones who are training these young men and women for marriage. Are we seeking to encourage these qualities in our young people?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, LIFE TO THE FULL, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello! Here we are again, for the fourth podcast in this series of, what do we do when we’re waiting for the man of our dreams? Currently, we’re talking about what are the character qualities to look for in a man that you are falling in love with?

Of course, this relates not only for looking for the character qualities in the man, but we need to have those same qualities ourselves. For us mothers, we realize it all comes back to us. We are training and preparing our beautiful young people for marriage. This is one of the greatest things you do as a parent, is prepare them for marriage.

Caitlin: Yes. I know, I was saying just before we got on this podcast here that it’s so sad to see so many young ladies in my church even, back home, who are dating these guys. They’ll break up and then they’ll go and try to find another one.

It’s just that they don’t know what to look for in a young man. They’re seeking after that, but they don’t know what to look for. It’s so important to have in mind those attributes that you want in your future husband and future father of your children. It’s so important and needed nowadays.

Nancy: You are listening along with me to Caitlin. Caitlin is one of my current Above Rubies helpers. She is 20 years of age, and still waiting for the man of her dreams. She’s been sharing about what do you do in this time?

We also have here, sitting in this lounge, we have Ruth, another Above Rubies helper just coming because the beautiful Drennan girls are leaving. Ruth is 20, and Elizabeth, Caitlin’s sister, is 16.

We have Ruthie and Havie (short for Haven) here too! Ruthie is only eight, but she is listening. Ruthie lives next door to us. Havie is my beautiful 12-year-old granddaughter. She’s listening too. Well, Havie, because she’s got lots of older brothers and sisters, she’s an auntie. She has lots of little nieces and nephews. Of course, Havie gets in on all the big stuff. She stays up nights with all the late-night talk.

Caitlin: Yes, we just had a farewell party a little while ago at the THM Café. That’s one thing we were saying as we were all talking that Haven has been there for all of our adventures that we’ve had this summer. She’s been right along with us, our little buddy, always there. We’ve so enjoyed her company.

Nancy: Havie is Serene and Sam’s daughter. OK, let’s carry on with these character qualities. I’m sure we’ll finish this session. It’s so good to talk about them.

No. 13. A MAN WHO WILL NOT COMPROMISE ON ANY LEVEL OF EVIL

Oh, I think that is so important, because it’s amazing to see how the standard has continually weakened over the years. It’s amazing.

Now, this is an unusual story, but I grew up never ever entering a picture theater. Back in those days, it was taboo for a Christian to go into a theater and yet the movies were so much more wholesome than they are today! In fact, my mother passed away having never gone into a movie theater.

As I got older, there were movies coming out. I remember the first one that I ever went to was The Sound of Music. It was so beautiful. I said to my mother, “Mom, you could go and see that,” because it was so wholesome, so beautiful. You know what she said to me? She said, “Nancy, what if the Lord should come and find me in a theater?”

Caitlin: Oh, my goodness!

Nancy: So, she never entered. Nor did my husband’s mother. Never in their lives did they go into a theater. Well, we, of course now, do go into a theater, and watch a good movie. We certainly watch out to make sure it’s a good one. Really, only those that are put out to be a voice on a certain matter, or a Christian movie. We will go to that to support the Christian convictions.

Caitlin: There are so many good Christian movies coming out recently.

Nancy: Yes, I see that they’re bringing out another one on sex trafficking, exposing that. Then I see also the fourth one of God’s Not Dead is coming out too. That’s interesting. But there are a lot of very good ones we certainly have to watch.

The sad thing is that there are many Christians today who do not even have a filter. They go to anything! Of course, now you can even watch anything in your own home, or on your iPhone. Help! This is where you have to find a young man of conviction, who will not violate his soul and not violate his mind. If a young man says, “Oh, let’s watch a movie,” and it has some immorality in it, or something even slightly, and he doesn’t turn a hair, well, I think that’s it. Goodbye!

Caitlin: Right. We were talking a few podcasts ago about how we, as women, don’t want to conform to the societal norms, and feel like you have to go along with whatever it is that everybody else is doing, just to be accepted. I think that’s so true of a young man. We don’t want someone who just goes with whatever society is doing. Because, “Oh well, my friends are doing it. Its OK.”

We want someone who is strong in their convictions, for sure, and can stand firm. There are even people who they are friends with, who are doing something that they can stand firm and say, “Hey, I am convicted that I’m not going to do that.”

Nancy: He’s living by the fear of the Lord, not by the standards of society.

Caitlin: And keeping the Lord’s will.

Nancy: Also, he’s a man who will protect you, because he is the one who is meant to be protecting you. Now, where was Adam when Eve took of the fruit? The Bible tells us that it was Eve who was deceived. In fact, in 1 Timothy 2, it tells us, if you go back to the original Greek, and other translations will bring this out, it says that “Eve was fully deceived.” One translation says that she was “thoroughly hoodwinked.”

She was in the deception but Adam knew what was happening. Where was he? Was he somewhere else when she took of that fruit? No, he was right beside her. He was right beside her and did not stop her. Therefore, the sin of the world is upon Adam. It is passed down through Adam. God put the responsibility on him. Even though the woman was the deceived one, God put that responsibility upon the man, because he did not protect and stop his wife from that deception.

If you have a man, a young man, who doesn’t turn a hair, is not willing to protect you from evil, what kind of a man is he? What kind of a husband will he be?

Caitlin: So true, so true.

Nancy: It is what we are looking for. Yes, he’s not a guy who’s just playing video games.

No. 14. A MAN WHO IS ALWAYS WILLING TO HELP OTHERS

He’s not just wanting to get away with you, just do your own thing. It doesn’t matter if people are in need. He’s not living the selfish life. It’s beautiful to see a young man who’s ready to help, help others with their needs.

Caitlin: Yes. And we were talking a little while ago as well, about not wasting these years of singleness, but chasing after the mission that God has for us in serving others, because God tells us: “As ye have done to the least of these, you have done unto Me.”

I believe that’s so important, to find a man who is willing to be on mission for God, and give God everything, and to serve with his whole life. Because then he will lead his family to do this thing. He will lead a family to serve and live lives of service unto God.

That’s one thing that’s been very important in our family life. My dad has always made a point of making sure that we, as a family, were serving and seeking to give to others with our time, with our efforts, and to serve the Kingdom as a family. That’s always been so important. I think that definitely it’s very important to look for in a man, is someone who is willing to serve the Kingdom.

Nancy: Oh, absolutely. Yes. So . . .

No. 15. A MAN WHO IS COMMITTED TO THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE SAINTS

That means he loves to go to church! What does it say in Hebrews 10:25? “Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together, as the manner of some is, but so much the more, as you see the day approaching.” That is not a suggestion. That is a command. “Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together.”

You will also look for a young man who loves to go to the house of God, who loves to go. He isn’t, “Oh well, you know,” and just trail along. No, he’s there. He’s there on time, and he’s there, actually helping. He’s trying to be part of everything. You want to see this because if he hasn’t got that now, is he going to lead you and your future children to the house of God? Because it’s the man who should be leading, not the woman.

You want to see that, that he has a love for the people of God, and he has a love, not just to go to church and then rush off, but to fellowship with people and to talk with the saints of God, because that is what Christianity is all about.

I think I’ve shared it with you recently, but it doesn’t hurt to share it again, because it’s so important, especially in this hour. We go to the example of the early church in Acts 2, where it says: What did they do? “They continued steadfastly. They continued,” I guess they didn’t do it every now and then, “steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine, fellowship, and the breaking of bread, and in prayers.”

There were four things. They didn’t just go to church, roll up, and disappear. No, it was a lifestyle. Of course, they went to hear the doctrines of the Word of God, the apostles’ teaching.

But then, fellowship. Yes, fellowship is very much on the heart of God. And then, breaking of bread, which was also fellowship together. And prayers. That’s all part of the lifestyle of the Kingdom of God.

Caitlin: Yes. I love one of the things . . . I love so many things about the Hilltop church here, but I love how at the end of every service there is intense fellowship. There’s lively fellowship among all the congregation. My favorite time, I think, is getting to fellowship with all of the young people and then also those who are older. To talk with the mothers, and hear them talk, and get all of their wisdom. It’s such a beautiful time. I can’t imagine the Sunday service without the fellowship! It’s so important.

Nancy: Oh, I know. I think people who don’t have that don’t actually know what they are missing. And yet, it is part of church life. It is so wonderful. It’s amazing how somehow the men sort of congregate at one table, and the women at the other tables.

I noticed the other Sunday that us women were getting into such excitement and debate! We were making such a noise that the men were looking over. “What’s happening over there?” [laughter] But it’s always lively, fun, and encouraging to one another. It’s so inspiring, learning from one another. As you say, it is as important as the church meeting.

Caitlin: Absolutely. It is so funny. Normally, I hang out with the young people after the fellowship, but I got to sit at the mother’s table for the first time a few weeks ago. I thought to myself, “My goodness, this is where I want to be all the time!” It was so exciting, the conversation we were having. It was so great, because I was learning so much from you all. I just loved it!

Nancy: Yes, absolutely. So, you’ll be looking for a man who loves the house of God. Amen.

No. 16. A MAN WHO BELIEVES IN HOMESCHOOLING

Caitlin: That’s so important right now.

Nancy: Well, it is, in this age in which we are living, because our public schools have become indoctrination places of such deception. We want to raise our children. How can we be believers in Jesus, believers in the Word of God, and yet, send our children to be indoctrinated with everything that is the opposite? That is absolutely ridiculous.

I know mothers who are so concerned about their children, but their husbands don’t have the revelation. They say, “Oh no, they must go to public school!” And they’re not aware of the tragedy of what is happening. We need to find this out before we get married. It’s so important, isn’t it?

Caitlin: Absolutely. My mom has always said, “Even more importantly than raising little scholars, you’re raising young disciples, and you're training them up to be disciples and followers of Jesus.” That’s what homeschooling is. It’s instilling that in the next generation. It’s so important. I’m so thankful for my parents’ decision to homeschool me. I wasn’t always homeschooled, but they made the decision to pull me out of school.

Nancy: How old were you when you started homeschooling?

Caitlin: I was 12 years old when I started homeschooling. So, yes, I had an experience in the public school system, private school, charter school, all the different things. Then we made the decision to homeschool. It’s been the greatest blessing. It truly has.

I am glad I did that testimony to share with others who maybe haven’t had the different experiences. I can definitely tell you, and any young people out there who are homeschooling, that homeschooling is the way to go. Our family became so much closer and more tight-knit. Really, striving after God whenever we came home, and we were all together homeschooling, because our parents were, round-the-clock, able to disciple us. It was such a beautiful thing that took place in our family. So, yes, I definitely support homeschooling.

Nancy: I notice the whole difference, the whole family . . .

Caitlin: Dynamic, yes. Absolutely. As siblings, we became so much closer than we ever were before. I’m thankful for my parents’ decision to homeschool us.

Nancy: Can you imagine if you had continued to go to public school, or to high school?

Caitlin: I can’t. Oh, my goodness, I can’t imagine! I cannot imagine, because so many blessings came from coming back home.

Nancy: Instead of these things (of the world) being constantly bombarded upon you, you’ve had the beautiful truths and the light of the kingdom of God in your home.

Caitlin: As a young woman, training to be a wife and mother, I got to see my mom, day in and day out, do that. That was the greatest training for me, ever. Just being able to watch my mom and the example that she set for me. Her constantly pouring into her children, loving her husband, and maintaining her home, and pulling me right alongside her.

To cook, and to clean, and to do things like that I would have passed up that experience. I know I wouldn’t be in the place I am today if I hadn’t been homeschooled and been able to come alongside my mom in all those different areas.

Nancy: It’s important that young girls grow up learning how to run the home and how to cook.

Caitlin: That was part of it!

Nancy: You cook all the meals for the home, don’t you?

Caitlin: Yes, we do. Our mom passed on that responsibility to us as one of our household duties. But it’s something that I took on because I loved cooking. My mom wasn’t forcing that upon us at all. But because I love cooking so much, and Elizabeth does too, we took on that responsibility because we love cooking and preparing meals for our family and all of that.

Nancy: So, you don’t just, “Oh well, we’ll cook the meal,” but you love to create, and cook the most beautiful meals.

Caitlin: I find so much joy and satisfaction in that, in serving my family that way. I love to ask my siblings, “Oh, what’s the meal that you want?” I love to make something that they enjoy, because it really means more to the whole family whenever it’s a labor of love.

Nancy: You don’t have time to learn those skills . . .

Caitlin: Exactly. I know I wouldn’t have had that time to learn those skills, and to dig deeper into those passions that God had laid on my heart if I had been going to a public school. Yes, I’m so glad I had that time. Home economics and homemaking skills, that was all part of my schooling growing up. My mom really made sure she made that a priority for her young ladies, to instill those values and skills in us, so we would be prepared for married life.

Nancy: You just mentioned a little word, two words there. It made me think of something, how that your mom was training you as “young ladies.” I love that. I see that that’s what you are. You are beautiful young ladies.

If you could see Caitlin and Elizabeth, you would agree with me that they are beautiful young ladies. But they also look like ladies.

I have to say how much I appreciate the way that every day you come out of your bedroom looking beautiful, perfect. Your hair is done so gloriously, and you've always got beautiful dresses on. You look like young ladies. I can’t tell you how much it blesses me. It is a beautiful thing. To me, it’s the most beautiful thing in the world to look at a young lady and to look at her in her beautiful dress. It’s so beautiful! I’m sick of looking at young people with jeans and tops and looking like guys. It’s so beautiful. What got you into being young ladies?

Caitlin: Oh, I think it was the example of my mother, for sure. My mother has always found so much joy in femininity. Even my grandmothers, too, found a lot of joy in femininity. I think it’s something that I picked up from my mother. I saw how much that brought her joy, and how it was part of her life. I wanted that too, so it was something I grew up with. I had that innate female desire to wear a dress and to be feminine and pretty. That was something that my mom raised us in, the femininity.

Nancy: It’s so beautiful!

Caitlin: Thank you.

Nancy: And you are truly pictures of what a lady should be, and how you're meant to be, as a woman and a feminine lady. It’s beautiful! I believe God wants us to be who He created us to be. Like, we’re looking for men! What do we say, we don’t want wimps! So, a woman doesn’t want a wimp, but a man does want a beautiful, feminine lady whose like a lady.

I remember my own father and mother who have now passed away. They would be well over a hundred years now if they were still living. But my father was a man’s man in a man’s world. There were not many men who were so manly as he was. And yet, my mother was the most beautiful, feminine lady. That’s how he adored her. He didn’t want her to be a manly woman like he was a manly man. He adored his beautiful feminine wife and it was so glorious to see the distinction.

As I grew up, I never had to have teaching on the difference between male and female because I saw it before my eyes. I saw this man, a manly man who was looked up to as a man in our nation and his wife, a woman who loved clothes and dressed beautifully. She was a dressmaker. She made beautiful clothes. My father loved to look at her in her beautiful clothes and see how beautiful and feminine she was.

Caitlin: Yes, I think it’s so true, the femininity of women will bring out the masculinity of the men.

Nancy: It does! Absolutely! Yet in today’s society, men are being deprived. They are being deprived of beautiful feminine women. They’re actually deprived! In being so, they don’t really know how to be all that they are as men because it takes both sexes being who they are to bring out the best in both sexes.

But talking about homeschooling, I love that Scripture in Psalms 1:1, which we all know: “Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful,” This is a picture of our public schooling today. It’s the counsel of the ungodly. They scorn the ways of God.

Why would we ever send our children into that environment? “But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.” This is what our children are meant to be having that continual blessing of the Word in their lives. Amen!

No. 17. A MAN WHO IS A ONE-WOMAN MAN

Caitlin: Oh, so important.

Nancy: You don’t want a womanizer. You want a man, and you have to also be a young woman who knows and understands the exclusivity of marriage. I am a great believer in the exclusivity of marriage. You can have loads of friends as a single person, but when you get married, from that moment, you are never ever going to go and maybe have a cup of coffee or get away with another guy. Never! Never, because now you are one with this man. It’s exclusive. You’re made one.

Yes, you’ll have loads of friends, and as a married couple you can ask all your friends over for supper. You can go out with other couples and enjoy fellowship together. But you, as a wife, will not ever go out with another man on your own, nor vice versa, nor a man who would even have a cup of coffee with another girl. Never. If he’s a man who’d do that, I would never marry him. Marriage is exclusive. Amen. You don’t want a man who looks at other girls while he’s trying to court you.

Caitlin: Of course not! No.

Nancy:

No. 18. A MAN WHO HONORS HIS FATHER AND MOTHER

I think if you see the way a young man treats his father and mother, especially his mother, well, you’re going to see how he will treat you. He might start out treating you very nicely, but how will he treat you in the end?

Caitlin: Right. I think it’s so sad. Sometimes I’ll be at church, and I’ll see a young man mouth off to his mother. I think to myself, “Oh, my goodness! I would never want to marry him!” If he treats his mother that way, how is he going to treat his wife? Oh, my goodness!

It’s so encouraging to see a young man respect his siblings, like his sisters, and to speak encouraging words to them, words of love and affirmation. Because it really goes to show how much they respect her as a young woman and how his mother has instilled that in him.

It’s encouraging also to see him bless his mother. That is something that speaks volumes of a young man, something that a young woman definitely looks for. I think it’s so beautiful to see that in a young man.

Nancy: Oh, yes, it’s a beautiful quality. There is so much in the Word about honoring your father and mother. Usually, the father is put first. But back in Leviticus 19:2 . . . The Bible says to obey your mother and father, to honor your mother and father, but yes, in Leviticus, it actually says to “fear every man his mother, and his father.”

It puts the mother first. There are some other places where the mother comes first too, showing that God wants that reverential awe towards the mother as well as the father. I did a study recently and I couldn’t believe how many Scriptures there were!

I was also quite taken aback recently, when we heard that J. D. Vance had become the vice president nominee. I didn’t know anything about him really, and then I heard that there had been a movie on his life well before he would be vice president. It is called Hillbilly Elegy. I said, “Oh, well, we’ll watch it.”

Sorry, I can’t really advocate it in that there was so much bad language in it because it was really showing his life. It was such a horrific childhood. It is hard to believe that anyone coming from that childhood could be where they are today, where he is, it’s pretty amazing. But this horrific childhood, and he was cursed at and sworn at, and his mother was on drugs, and was a heroin addict. Yet, he still showed respect to his mother.

Caitlin: The level of respect and love he had for her, and compassion.

Nancy: And to see, at the RNC convention, that he had her sitting in the front seat, with President Trump. He honored her and yet he had grown up in this most terrible childhood. Yet he still honored his mother. I thought that was a very powerful character quality.

Caitlin: It spoke volumes about him.

Nancy: OK, we’ve got to get on.

No. 19. A MAN WHO LOVES HOSPITALITY

Caitlin: Oh, that’s so important. My father has always been a huge encourager of hospitality. We’ve had tons of people in our home. We’ve had church groups. We’ll have 50 people sometimes. We’re outnumbered greatly by the children running around. It’s such a beautiful time.

I’ve been so appreciative and thankful that my father has set that example for our family. This is one of the many ways that we serve the kingdom of God, by opening up our home, and having hospitality. He’s always the first one to say, “OK, guys, let’s have people over.” That’s been a beautiful example for me to look for in my future husband. Is this someone who’s going to encourage hospitality, and be the one to say, “Let’s open up our home, and let’s serve the kingdom of God”?

Nancy: That is so beautiful. In fact, for a man who would aspire to be an elder or a pastor, one of the criteria is that he is a “lover of hospitality” (Titus 1:8). But I think it’s a beautiful thing, because one of the greatest ministries we can have in our home as we’re raising our children is hospitality.

OK, we’re in the home, we’re raising our children, we’re cooking meals for our family. So, we’re already doing what you have to do for hospitality. Let’s do it for a few more people and invite them into the blessing of our family, to encourage them and love them. It’s such a beautiful ministry as a mother.

But there are some men who have grown up in homes where it never happened and then they don’t want anybody in their home. So, their wife can never ask anybody over.

Caitlin: It’s so sad!

Nancy: It really is so sad. It’s lovely to know that you have a man who loves people and loves hospitality because it is the lifestyle of the kingdom of God.

Caitlin: Right! And it is work. It is hard work, of course, but that really brings the family together. That’s really been one of the ways that our family has been on mission for Jesus, with Jesus, is serving the kingdom in that way. Because, OK, yes, we’re in this together as a family. It’s not just mom and it’s not just dad.

Nancy: No. You can’t do it all on your own.

Caitlin: No, we can’t do it on our own. We all pull together as a family, because we are a team as a family. We’ll be doing dishes together. The boys will be outside. They’re getting the yard ready or the porch. We’re working together as a family. My sister and I work cooking food for everyone. Everyone pitches in, so it’s a beautiful time to grow together as a family as well.

Nancy: And it absolutely enhances your life. I look back on all our years of marriage, and hospitality is one of the greatest blessings. Just having people in your home, and joy, and the fellowship, and the blessings that come through doing that. You don’t want to be deprived of that.

Caitlin: No, not at all.

Nancy: The last one that I have here is, is it the last one? Oh no, we’ve got two more.

No. 20. A MAN WHO IS HUMBLE AND TEACHABLE

A man who is humble and teachable, because all through life we’re going to have to learn things. We don’t know it all and I’m still learning myself. If we don’t have a humble and teachable heart, well, we’re just going to be stagnant. And also, if you have a husband who is not teachable, it can cause a lot of problems.

Caitlin: Right. And I think that also it goes back to finding a man who’s seeking God’s will, and seeking after God’s heart, because, yes, if he’s seeking God’s will, then he’s going to be in that state of humility that he’s open to the working of the Spirit in his life, and open to whatever God calls him to be. So, yes, we definitely want to make sure that we have a man who’s humble enough to bring it all before the Lord.

Nancy: Oh, yes! There is so much in the Word. Let me just read one or two Scriptures.

Psalm 141:5: “Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.” That was a psalm of David who was so open to reproof. That’s amazing.

We go over to see so many in Proverbs. Let’s read a few of them. This is also the characteristic of a godly man. Proverbs 1:8: “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.”

Proverbs 9:8: “Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.” That’s a beautiful character quality, isn’t it?

Over to Proverbs 10:17: “He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth.” That means he sins.

Proverbs 12:1: “Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is brutish.” You don’t want a brutish man!

Caitlin: No, not at all!

Nancy: Proverbs 13:1: “A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.”

Caitlin: Yes, humility has definitely been a huge theme in our family’s life. Our family business name is “Humble Farm,” which is our family farm back home. All of our different business endeavors all have the name “humble” in them, because my dad had that vision from the very beginning that we, as children of God, are to be humble. That’s so important.

As he leads our family, he leads us in humility, and coming before the Lord and asking the Lord, “What is Your will, Lord God?” We’re going to fall short, and we’re going to mess up, but we always return to the Lord and ask, how can we do better? God teaches through ways revealed to us what He has for us.

Nancy: That’s a beautiful testimony. Of course, you can go all through Proverbs. Just keep reading Scriptures like that. That is a beautiful quality to look for too, not only in that man that you may fall in love with, but in ourselves.

We have to continue to always have a soft and humble and contrite heart, as the Word says: “he that trembles at His word.” I think when we come to the Word of God, we don’t just read it, but we tremble at it. If we’re out of line with it, we tremble and get back in line!

Caitlin: Yes, we as women also have to have the humility to submit to our husbands. That’s so big and important that we submit, and that we are the ones who are coming alongside our future husband, in this case, and encouraging him, and being on mission with him. We follow his lead in our family life.

Nancy: Yes, amen. The last one is . . .

No. 21. A MAN WHO IS FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT OF GOD

Amen.

So, dear, lovely young people, I think one of the most wonderful things in the whole of the world is to fall in love. I’m sure you're going to fall in love, if you haven’t already fallen in love. When you look at a young man and you feel those little flutterings, before you really commit yourself, go back to these character qualities and see, does he line up?

He may not be fully fledged in all of them, but you do have to see the seeds of those things in him. I think if you look for those, and you see the seeds of those things in him, that is a beautiful thing. Of course, you’ll be wanting the guidance of your parents as well as you commit yourself to a young man.

I am preparing the character qualities that a guy can look for in a young woman. I haven’t got them all together yet, so I will do that.

I want to say as I end, a godly marriage is the most beautiful thing on earth. I am so blessed to be in a marriage that is the most beautiful thing on earth. But the opposite is true. A miserable marriage is the worst thing in the world to endure.

This is a big thing in your life, beautiful young ladies. And dear mothers, it’s a big thing for us as we prepare our children for marriage. I trust you are blessed, and you've been blessed by these four sessions. Shall we pray?

“Lord God, we thank You so much that You love marriage, and Lord, You delight in bringing couples together. You love to bring the woman to the man, and You do this supernaturally. Every couple You bring together, it’s a supernatural thing. It’s a God thing, and we thank You for it.

“I pray, Lord, that You will bless all these beautiful young daughters, and You will bring to them godly men. Oh, Father, I ask it in the name of Jesus. I pray, Lord for all the parents, mothers and fathers, that You will give them such wisdom, and bless them, Lord, as they seek to raise beautiful godly young daughters, and to raise godly young men who are true men, who are not wimps, who know how to be men, and work hard and provide, and who will walk in the fear of the Lord.

“Oh God, we ask if You will anoint us and help us to raise these young men and women, Lord, who will begin godly marriages, and raise godly children, because this is how we have a godly nation. There is no other way. We ask for this in the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 327: What Do You Do While You Wait for The Man of Your Dreams? Part 3

Caitlin joins me again for this session as we discuss together the question: What qualities should a girl look for in a husband? We discuss 12 different qualities in this session—and more next week.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! This is our third session on the subject of “What Do We Do While We Wait for the Man of Our Dreams?” When I started this podcast three weeks ago with Caitlin, we thought we were only going to do one. But we have kept going because there’s so much to say on this subject.

Once again, Caitlin, I must say how wonderful it is to have you on the podcast and to have you for one more session before you and Elizabeth leave us, which will be so sad. We have actually had, in our home, over 170 lovely young ladies who have come to live with us to be helpers of the Above Rubies ministry.

Most of them stay for about two months at a time. Then they get back to get on with other things in their lives. Some girls stay on longer. I had one girl who stayed on for a year! We’ve had many girls who have come back a second time, like you girls came last year, and again this year, and hopefully next year!

In this session, ladies, I want to talk about the qualities that a young girl should be looking for in a man who is going to be worth marrying. Actually, it was quite a number of podcasts ago that I shared about this. Do you remember? Because you were listening.

Caitlin: Yes! I do remember it! That was before I was a Ruby Girl that I actually listened to that podcast. It was, I think, just a couple of weeks before I came that my mom called me. She said, “Caitlin, you have to listen to this podcast! It’s so good! There are so many great points that are covered in this podcast about seeking out a good, godly man, and what to look for in a future husband.”

As I listened to it, and I remember it was one of the first days that I was here, I told you how inspiring that had been, because, of course, I had always had those points in the back of my mind that, OK, I would look for this quality in a man. But it was so good to see a list, and really visualize it, and pray on each topic, each point.

Nancy: When I shared that, I hadn’t planned to share them in that podcast, and I’d just begun thinking about it. I shared the thoughts that I had. But since then, I have developed it more and I now have 21 points. You know how I always have many points when I’m talking about a subject. I have 21 points, and I thought what we would do, now that I have it fully developed, we will go through these points, because I believe this is not just for daughters looking for the right man.

It’s for everyone, yes, for young daughters, beautiful young people who are looking to know, “Is this the right man?” It’s good to have these character qualities to check out. Therefore, this is good for young girls who should be looking for that.

But then again, if these are the qualities that you're looking for in a young man, well, you need to have those same qualities yourself. It comes back on us, yes, as single girls. Now, I’m no longer single, of course, but for all those singles listening, “Are these qualities in my life?”

Then it comes back to all of us parents, because we’re the ones who are training these young people, these young men, these young women, and preparing them for marriage. I believe that one of the most important things that we do as a parent is to prepare our children for marriage. I think that’s one of the greatest things we do.

We need to keep that in our minds as we’re training our children. “Am I preparing this son of mine, and this daughter of mine, to be a godly husband, or a godly wife? One who will make a wonderful marriage and continue the godly generations?” Because if the marriage isn’t working, well, that breaks up a marriage and it breaks the chain of the godly generations.

I believe that’s why God said in His Word in Malachi, the last book of the Old Testament; in Malachi 2:16, He said: “I hate divorce.” Now God loves divorced people, but He hates the spirit of divorce because it touches the godly seed. That’s what the Word goes on to say.

The question is, what does God look for in a marriage? The answer comes ringing back: “I look for godly offspring.” That is a powerful thing, because that word “godly,” the word is literally Elohim. That word is a word that is the name of God. It’s the very first name of God which is used in the Bible. “In the beginning, God.” That word is Elohim.

Then we read in Malachi: “I want Elohim children.” Isn’t that incredible? God is looking for children, for young people, for young men, young women, who are revealing His character. This is our vision, and our mandate, as we are parenting and training our children, and preparing them first of all, for a godly marriage.

Caitlin: Yes, and I have to say, I have learned so much just by watching my mother’s example, if I can give my mom a shout-out here. I love her so much, and she’s taught me so much by her example. Both my parents, and how they live in their marriage, and how it’s such a beautiful thing. They really teach me and my siblings how they, in their marriage, honor the Lord. That’s inspiring for me. Therefore, I desire a marriage like that someday.

Nancy: So, it’s important to teach these character qualities, but the greatest way is what we show to our children. My husband just wrote this down the other day, He said: “Here’s a good quote for you, Nancy.” This is what he wrote:

“The way we love one another as husband and wife will be the greatest thing that we pass onto our children, our grandchildren, our great-grandchildren, and future generations.”

Children . . . it doesn’t matter what we say, they see. When they see that we love one another, that does so much for them. That gives them a desire to have a wonderful, godly, incredible, passionate, loving marriage themselves.

Let’s get on with these points. These are things that I believe, as a young daughter getting ready, in those years, looking for, well, waiting for that man who God will bring you to, these are some wonderful things to look for.

No. 1. A MAN WHO IS COMMITTED TO SEXUAL PURITY

The Bible speaks of virgins. A virgin young woman, a virgin young man, getting married. It’s virgins who get married, not those who are non-virgins. Of course, sadly, in this incredible, fornicating, evil world in which we live, there is much of this going on.

This is so sad. It’s so sad for a couple to come to marriage and they’re not virgins. They miss out. But then again, many of them don’t know the Lord. Then they will find God. He will save them, and forgive them, and heal them, and make them pure and holy, because He has promised to wash away our sins. “Though our sins are red like crimson, they shall be as white as snow.”

So, He may lead a man who is not a virgin, but who has come to a place of true salvation, and the washing away of his sins, and is walking in total purity. That is the thing. A man must be walking in purity, and a young woman must be walking in purity. That’s number one! Amen?

Caitlin: Yes, it’s all about the condition of the heart for sure.

Nancy: Yes.

No. 2. A MAN WHO IS FREE FROM PORNOGRAPHY

Oh goodness me, if a young man is delving in pornography, run! Run from him, because pornography destroys marriages. Sadly, there is so much in this world today, especially with all that can happen on iPhones. Young people have such access to iPhones. It is so sad.

Young people today, girls and guys, have to live in victory against all that is around them, and all that can come up on their iPhones and social media, and so on. They must live a disciplined life in this area. Hopefully, a young man may never be a victim of this awful thing which becomes such a stronghold. But if he has, you have to know that he has complete and total victory before you consider a relationship with him.

No. 3. A MAN WHO FEARS THE LORD

I love that passage in Psalm 112:1 which says: “Blessed is the man that feareth the LORD, that delighteth greatly in His commandments. His children shall be mighty upon earth: the generation of the upright shall be blessed.” I think one of the greatest blessings is to marry a man who fears the Lord, because the promise is that a man who fears the Lord will bring forth righteous generations.

You, as the wife, are going to be blessed if you marry a man who fears the Lord; not just goes to church. There was a time . . .  I was brought up in our church as a young child, and as a young teenager. We got preached from the pulpit, “You must not marry an unbeliever! You cannot be unequally yoked with an unbeliever! You must marry a believer!”

Now that is very, very good advice. But today, you need more than that, because there are so-called believers, wow, who are not really living a godly life and are not walking in the fear of the Lord. It’s more than finding some guy who goes to church, or some guy who says he’s a Christian. You’ve got to check out if he truly fears the Lord.

Caitlin: Yes, if he’s walking with the Lord. Yes, you see so many young men, men sadly in the church who are not truly walking with the Lord, and seeking His ways in everything, and surrendering everything in his life to the Lord. It’s so sad, because yes, you can’t just say, “Oh, I’ll marry a man who goes to church and is a believer,” because you have to look deeper and deeper.

Nancy: Yes, absolutely!

No. 4. A MAN WHOS LOVES GOD’S WORD

We want to try to find a man who not only believes the Bible is true. Oh, there are plenty of men around like that! Yes, they believe the Bible is true but how much do they love His Word?

How much do they actually read His Word? Do you see them having a love for the Word of God? Do you see them loving to be in the Word? When you're with them, do they want to talk about what they’ve been learning from the Word of God? You’d better check that out.

Caitlin: Right. And this goes back to what we were talking about a couple of podcasts ago. If you haven’t heard those, go back and listen for sure. We were talking about how these years of singleness are a wonderful time for us to dig deep into God’s Word, because we won’t have the unlimited access to time that we may have right now, to dig deep into God’s Word for hours on end.

It’s so important, if we want a man who is a man of the Word, then we must be women of the Word for sure, and filling our minds and our hearts with Scripture, and that it is constantly on our tongues.

Nancy: Yes, yes. I love 1 John 2:14. John is writing to the fathers, and then the young men. He says: “I have written unto you, fathers, because ye have known Him that is from the beginning. I have written unto you, young men, because ye are strong, and the word of God abideth in you, and ye have overcome the wicked one.”

That’s a beautiful picture of a young man who’s walking in the fear of the Lord and loving the Word of God. Therefore, he’s strong in the Lord. He knows how to overcome the enemy. He’s got the Word in his heart.

The Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, that one of the criteria of a husband is that he washes his wife with the Word. It says here: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.” That’s such a beautiful picture of what a husband is to do. Well, if he doesn’t really spend much time in the Word before he’s married, is he going to do that when he’s married?

Caitlin: Right! Absolutely.

Nancy: There are so many husbands who really don’t even know how to pick up the Word. I have wives coming to me and saying, “Oh, I’d just so love to have family devotions with my family, but my husband doesn’t want to take it. He doesn’t even feel familiar with the Word of God.”

If you have a picture of what you want for your future children, and you want to be bringing them up in the ways of the Lord, well, you've got to have a husband who will lead, a father who will lead them in the ways of the Lord and have a desire to teach them in His Word.

Caitlin: Yes, I heard someone say recently that as you're seeking a husband, it’s so important to keep in mind that you, as the woman, have the power to choose your children’s father. That’s an amazing thought, when you think about it.

Your children don’t get to choose their father, but you get to be the one who makes that decision for them. You definitely want to take that into serious consideration, finding a man who would lead your family, and be a godly father, the kind of father who desires to be like Jesus, like our heavenly Father.

Nancy: I love what you said there. It’s not just choosing a husband; it’s choosing your children’s father. What kind of a father will he be? And will he be one who has such a love for God’s Word that he will teach it to his children? Amen.

No. 5. A MAN WHO LOVES TO PRAY

These are basic things, but they’re so important. I think, when you really want to get into a true courting relationship with a young man, if you know he’s not interested in prayer, he’s not someone who ever wants to go to prayer meetings . . . but if you see a young man who’s always at the prayer meetings and you hear him praying, wow! Ooh, that’s so cool!

That’s something I noticed when I began our friendship with my husband, Colin. He was a man of prayer, even back then. We’d be walking along the road and talking about something, and he’d just move into prayer. That was part of his life. It’s still part of his life. We wake up in the morning and he wakes up praying. It is such a blessing.

You’ve got to see it before you get married. You’ve got to see that in that young man, because if he’s not interested in praying now, is he going to be interested when you’re married?

Caitlin: What’s going to change?

Nancy: No, he’s not! If you cannot pray together as a couple, if that doesn’t become part of your friendship, well, is he going to do it when you're married? No. So, look for a man who loves to pray, who loves to be at prayer meetings.

I know lots of young men who are not interested in being at prayer meetings. Then I see so many of these young guys on the Hilltop, they’re going to grow into amazing young men and fathers, because they’re there at the prayer meetings and they are praying. It’s so incredible.

No. 6. A MAN WHO IS NOT A WIMP

Oh, I love that, don’t you?

Caitlin: Oh, yes! Absolutely! This world is full of grown-up boys, not really men. It’s such a tragedy, it really is.

Nancy: I think that’s one of the saddest things. I see so many beautiful girls, and some of them are getting older, into their mid-twenties, late twenties, thirties, and there are some in their forties. They’re still desperate. They haven’t found a man. It’s not easy to find a true man who is not a wimp.

In many churches today, there are young men, and they’re lovely young men. They love the Lord, but many of them, I don’t know . . . was it their parents, was it their church? Who was it who did not prepare them for marriage? But they’re in their mid-twenties, and oh yeah, they might have a girlfriend, but they are not ready to take the responsibility of getting married, or of taking on children coming into the marriage, and being open to children. Because if a couple is not open to embracing children, they’re not ready to marry!

Some of them are not even ready to take that responsibility because they’re wimps! They’re boys, as you say. We, as parents, have such responsibility. As I said before, one of our biggest things as parents is preparing our children for marriage. That is, preparing our sons to be providers, preparing them from young men, to teach them that this is their role, that they will be the provider. They’re not expecting their wife to go out and be the provider. She will be in the home, raising the children. But he will be the provider.

We’re encouraging them, even while they’re young, to get jobs, take on different things, learning to be entrepreneurs, even when they’re young, so they have that providing mentality in their brains. It’s so important!

Now, when you look at a young guy and you may be falling in love with him, he may not be a millionaire. He doesn’t have to be. He doesn’t even have to have much, but you have to see that he is a man who wants to work, and wants to provide, and not a wimp.

Caitlin: Yes, and thrive as a provider.

Nancy: In fact, many times, oh, I just love it, when we’ll have maybe a Shabbat meal, and we’re missing out on our Shabbat meal tomorrow with all the girls. We planned it. Now something else is on. Anyway, I love it, and sometimes when I have all the granddaughters and Above Rubies girls, I’ll say, “OK, let’s go round the table and share the qualities you would love in a man you’d love to marry.” They always love to talk about that.

Caitlin: Oh yes, they are some of the most beautiful conversations that we have, because everybody has something different, different ideas they bring to the table. We’ll all go, “You know what, that’s a really good point! I hadn’t thought about that, really.” So, yes, those are some amazing conversations we have.

Nancy: I usually find there’s one thing they all bring up: “I don’t want to marry a wimp!” No girl wants to marry a wimp.

Caitlin: You want a strong man, yes! Who’s going to protect and defend you.

Nancy: Oh yes! Yes. So, let’s raise men, mothers! We don’t want to raise wimps, do we?

No. 7. A MAN OF COMMITMENT

A man who you know will be committed to his marriage to the end of his days. Amen.

No. 8. A MAN WHO LOVES TO BLESS HIS FAMILY

I just mentioned our Shabbat meal. We have Shabbat every Friday night. It’s our most beautiful meal of the week when the husband blesses his wife. That is perhaps one of the main things of the Shabbat meal, where the father, the husband reads Proverbs 31. Then he blesses his wife. Then, as a father, he blesses each of his children.

That’s such a beautiful thing. To do that, he has to have that in his heart, to be a man who loves to bless, and to bless his wife, bless his children. That is really such a beautiful character of God. When we see, we go back to the beginning. I love going back to the beginning all the time. When God created male and female, who knows what is the next thing God did? What did He do?

The very first thing he did after He created them was, He blessed them. He blessed them. That’s in God’s heart. He’s a blessing God. He is our Father who wants to bless us. That should be in a man, something of the father-heart of God. We want to see some little something of that in a young man so that when he gets married, he will love to bless his wife, and love to bless his family.

Caitlin: Absolutely. And I would say part of the Shabbat is also having the children bless their mother. I think it’s so important, like you were saying, to be training up the young men in the family to be comfortable with blessing their mother first, and then also their siblings. It’s so important. Oftentimes there’s this fear that young men have of blessing, or of complimenting a young woman.

Nancy: They’re just not used to it.

Caitlin: Right. It’s just as if they’re not used to it. You’re right. It’s good for a young man.

Nancy: When they grow up in a home where they’re having a Shabbat meal, and every Friday night they’re seeing their father bless their mother and bless them. And the other part . . .  I love it when Colin reads: “Her children will rise up and call her blessed.” He will get all the children to stand up, and each one to say a blessing to their mother. It is getting all these young men already in the habit of blessing their mother.

Caitlin: It’s so good for them to already be familiar and comfortable with that.

Nancy: This is the wonderful way we’re training our children to be blessers.

No. 9. A MAN OF STRONG CHARACTER

He is not swayed by every Tom, Dick, and Harry. He’s strong in his convictions.

No. 10. A M AN WHO IS A HARD WORKER, NOT A SHIRKER

Oh yes, who wants to marry a lazy man? I don’t think any girl wants to marry a lazy man. You’re so proud when a man will be a hard worker who gets stuck in.

Caitlin: It’s so prevalent today, with everyone searching for ease and comfort. It’s very refreshing whenever you find someone, a young man or boy even who’s a hard worker, who knows how to work hard and dig deep and has a great work ethic. That always stands out to a young lady.

Nancy: Yes. Well, I think a lot of young men go to college. Some may work hard there but many go through as playboys. It takes them so many years before they have a really good job, even where they have to work hard.

But once again, it comes to training. Once again, back on us moms, back on us parents. All this comes back to us as parents. Are we training our children with a very good work ethic? And how to work hard, how to work fast. It’s not enough knowing how to work hard, it’s how to work fast. Oh, goodness me! Some know how to laze around and do it so slowly. No, we’ve got to teach them how to get stuck in, and get a job done!

Caitlin: Get after it.

Nancy: I used to love reading to my children when they were young, Cheaper by the Dozen. I wonder if you’ve read that book to your children. It’s a wonderful book. One of the things I loved was when the father . . .  every job that the children had to do in the family, he would get out his stopwatch and he would time them. “OK, now we can do it faster than that!”

They were doing the dishes. He would time them. “OK!” Next time he would time them again. Then they would work out how they could take that off the time, and that off the time, so they’d get the time down faster. Every job he would teach them how to do it faster, and also, more effectively as well. I loved that. He was really training his children.

Caitlin: Absolutely. One of my favorite quotes of yours is, “All you need is a little bit of elbow grease!” [laughter]

Nancy: Yes, yes, I have to laugh with my lovely Above Rubies girls. I’m always saying, even when we’ve finished the dishes, we’ve got to wring out the dish cloth. Many of them will press it together with their hands and it’s still full of water. I have to say, “OK, we’ve got wring out this towel!” And I can always get more water out than anybody else. Maybe not you. [laughter] So many people do things so sloppily.

As you say. I was brought up on that. Maybe you can institute that into your family if you don’t already have it. “Come on, we’re going to need some elbow grease here!” That means you get

stuck in and get going. You’re not doing it in a little wimpy way.

A GOOD MAN’S NEVER STUCK!

Now this phrase that I grew up with came down from my father and he got it from his father. That is, “A good man’s never stuck!” That is what we say. It was a Bowen saying because I was Nancy Bowen before I was married. My father constantly said those words when he had to tackle something: “A good man’s never stuck!” He would make sure he could make it work.

We taught our children that, and now even our grandchildren, all our grandchildren, they all know that phrase and they all say it. Now Arden, Serene’s son, he has started this new ministry called “Undefeated Men.” That’s the mandate of their ministry: “A good man’s never stuck!” So, it’s carried down from one, two, three, for about five generations now.

Caitlin: That’s incredible!

Nancy: Keep it going!

Caitlin: Absolutely! As you were saying, we’re preparing for generations of warriors for Christ.

Nancy:

No. 11. A MAN WHO BELIEVES IN PROVIDING FOR HIS FAMILY’

Yes, we did talk about that before, didn’t we? But the Word of God says that a man is an infidel who will not provide for his family (1 Timothy 5:8). That’s something that we train our children in, right from the very beginning.

Number 12. I don’t think we’re going to finish them in this session. We’re going to have to have another session! You can’t leave yet!

Caitlin: I can’t leave yet! No. [laughter]

Nancy:

No. 12. A MAN WHO LOVES CHILDREN

Caitlin: Oh, that’s so important.

Nancy: That’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it? I love our Above Rubies Family Retreats. All the families come from the little ones up to the big ones. You’ve got young teenage boys, and older teenage boys, and the beautiful teen girls. It’s so amazing to look around. You see these big hunks of young men. They’re really getting hunky and growing up there. And they’re carrying around their little baby brothers and sisters.

Caitlin: Sometimes one on each hip!

Nancy: I know! It’s so beautiful! They have the blessing of growing up in big families so there are little ones coming on. To see their love for their little new babies that are coming along in their family, and this may be number 11 or 12. They’re not embarrassed! They’re all carrying them around. Sometimes I’ve seen them fighting over the babies! Who’s going to carry them?

Caitlin: Oh, I see that all the time here on the Hilltop. Young men arguing over, “Oh no, it’s my turn to hold the baby!” “No, it’s my turn!”

Nancy: Yes! These young guys . . . and they’re not wimps! They’re strong young men who know how to work and know how to play. Yet, they love the babies. That’s such a beautiful thing. You know that there is a man who is going to love children.

But then today, you can go into churches, and these young men don’t even look at babies. It’s sad, because many of them have grown up in a 1.9-member family. They never had babies around. It’s not familiar to them. They haven’t been put in their hearts.

But I think that’s a very beautiful thing to see in a young man. You’re looking, wow. You’re sort of feel your heart flipping a little bit. When your heart begins to go “flippity-flippity-flop,” and it will, because this is normal. This is natural. This is how God made us. We’re definitely going to go “flippity-flippity-flop” for this man who God brings to us finally.

But if your heart is beginning to go like that, this is where you need this list, because before you give your heart away, you've got to check. Does he have these character qualities? He may not have them fully fledged and be a great man of God in every quality, but you see the seeds of the man. You see those seeds.

If you don’t see the seeds of them, well, just back off. Back off. But you can see the seeds of them there, and you can know that, yes, he’s got that in his heart. One of these is that he loves children. Amen.

Because a man must go into marriage knowing, knowing who his wife is. Many men don’t know. Many husbands don’t even know who their wives are, because God created the woman with a womb. That’s who she is. A womb-man, a woman. She has a womb.

Proverbs 30 says that there are four things that never say it is enough, that are never satisfied. One is the barren womb. A womb can cry for life. Only a woman who is crying for life knows the agony of it. Many times, her husband says, “No! Can’t have any more! Can’t afford any more!”

He doesn’t know the cruelty that he’s putting upon his wife who is desperately longing for children, because that’s how God made her! We need to know that we’re marrying a man who will be open to embracing children.

Caitlin: It’s important, like you were saying, because we are choosing our children’s father. We have to have that assurance that he’s going to have a heart for those children, and love them deeply and care for them, and have their best interests in mind, of course.

Nancy: Amen. Well, it’s time to close, so you’re not allowed to leave yet! [laughter] We’ve got to do one more, because we’ve got to finish this. This is so important. These character qualities are so important. I do have them in my files, so you're welcome to email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and say, “I’d love a copy of them.” I’d be so happy to send them to you. But we will finish talking about them next session, OK?

“May the Lord richly bless you all. Bless your marriage. Bless your families. Bless your children. Oh, God, I pray Your blessings on every mother, every family, every daughter listening. In the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 326: What Do You Do While You Wait for The Man of Your Dreams? Part 2

CALL YOUR TEENS AND YOUNG DAUGHTERS AGAIN TO LISTEN TO THIS SESSION. 

Caitlin continues to share her heart regarding what helps her to stay focused in her single years. We also talk about THE HOPE CHEST, or THE GLORY BOX, which we call it Down Under. Do your daughters have a Hope Chest? You’ll love to hear about this wonderful idea. 

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Yes, we are doing another podcast with Caitlin. We’ll be talking to the young people, too, so if you’ve got your girls with you, call out. Yell at them to come. And the little girls too. They’ll want to hear everything, because there are more things to talk about. OK, Caitlin, start off!

Caitlin: Yes, yes! I wanted to mention, I didn’t mention this in the last podcast. Just the fact that God writes everyone’s story so differently. I found in my life that a person can be the greatest pillar of joys. It isn’t easy sometimes to see what another woman has. Maybe there’s just this one young woman who is even younger than you and she’s got a husband. She’s got children.

That can be hard to look at, but it’s so important to just keep your sights set on what God has for you. His timing is so divine. It’s going to be different for everybody. So, don’t compare your story with someone else’s because that will bring such discouragement.

Also, don’t feel like you were saying in the last podcast, that you have to go with the social norm, or the status quo. One season is not necessarily more important than another. Don’t become discouraged because God can use you in your season of singleness just as powerfully as He can use you in your married and mothering season. I think that’s so important to keep in mind whenever we are waiting, is that God can use us, no matter where we are in life, and to be open to His working.

Nancy: I do believe it’s so important in single years to be giving your life in ministry. I do believe it, in the home, and out of the home, because what is motherhood? Motherhood is the outpouring of your nurturing heart. That is what it is. Motherhood is far bigger than, oh, suddenly, you’re married, and a baby comes along. Now you’re a mother.

No, that’s not the absolute truth. The absolute truth is that we as females are mothers from the very beginning of our lives until we meet Jesus. There is a season of childbearing where we bear children. To be truthful, the true season of childbearing is from our later youth until menopause. Many, many women today think, “Oh, motherhood ends at 30, 35 or so.” No, the practicality of embracing children is in our childbearing years which is up to menopause.

But then, that’s not just the confining of motherhood. No, it’s our whole life, because it’s bigger than just the actual rearing of children. It is the revelation of God’s maternal heart. It is the pouring out of His heart, His nurturing heart to bless and minister to others. We start this before we are married.

Caitlin: Yes, before we are married.

Nancy: In fact, we naturally start it as little girls. I watch the little girls on the Hilltop. Sunday after church fellowship we have fellowship meals and the little girls all play together. What do they do? They do either of these two things. One, they go to the dress-up box, and they dress up like princesses.

Or they gather in the little dolls or the real babies because there are lots of real babies around. They’re holding the babies, and they’ve all got a baby. If they haven’t got a real baby, they’ve got a toy baby. They’ve all got a baby each. They are mothering. They’re playing Mommies and Daddies. They are mothering. It is in them. Nobody said, “Oh, well, you better go and play dolls.” No, no one mentions it. They just do it! Because it’s in them.

We should be continuing this. What about in our single years? This is the ultimate, not living unto yourself because this is what most young people do. They think, “Oh, this is my time of life when I live for myself, and I do what I want.” No, we already are beginning to pour out our lives for others. Do you remember this morning, one of our verses in our family devotions? Colin read it and it really popped out at me.

Caitlin: Yes.

Nancy: 1 Corinthians 10:24: “Let no man seek his own, but every man another's wealth.” That’s King James language so I looked up some other translations. Before I did that, I went to the Greek. I also do that to see the original, to find that the word “wealth” is not there. It stops there. That’s just put in.

Other translations say: “No one should seek his own good, but the good of others.”

The New Living Translation: “Don’t be concerned for your own good, but for the good of others.”

You go to Philippians 2:3: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” As a young person, we say, “Lord, who do You want me to bless and minister to? How do You want me to pour out my life?”

Caitlin: Right, because if we don’t have a heart for serving others and serving the Lord now, how will that switch?

Nancy: You’re not going to be prepared for motherhood. In fact, you're going to find motherhood a very big challenge.

Caitlin: Yes!

Nancy: This is the greatest preparation for motherhood. You begin to see ways to minister to others. As you pray about it, and ask God, He will open up doors. He will open up opportunities. If you're still living at home, you may want to have a Joy Time club in your home, where you bring in children to teach them about Jesus. I used to have a Joy Time club in my home.

You can have a heart for widows, to bless them and minister to them, to lonely people, to hurting people. There are so many people who are hurting and needy. Wow! You can have a great ministry! You can be a Mother Teresa before you ever find your man as you begin to pour out your life!

Caitlin: Absolutely.

Nancy: That’s really . . .  the girls, the young people who find this, who realize this, and will pray, “Lord, show me how You want me to pour out my life, they will have the greatest life, because your greatest life is pouring out your life for others.

There’s another Scripture that says that: “We no longer live unto ourselves, but unto Him, who died for us and rose again.” (2 Corinthians 5:15). We no longer live unto ourselves.

If you're living unto yourself as a young person, just having your great time, well, you're really living a selfish, boring life which is being wasted. If we do not want to waste our lives, we start pouring out our lives for others. That, as you said, will be different for every person. Some will leave to go out on a mission trip, maybe overseas. Some will minister around their own communities, reaching out to needy areas. Some will get involved in a, what do you call it? I’ve forgotten the name, where you are caring for people who are pregnant?

Caitlin: Crisis pregnancy center.

Nancy: Crisis pregnancy groups. That’s a marvelous thing to get into as a young person. There are so many areas and so many wonderful things to get involved in, to pour out your life to minister to others. Ask the Lord what He wants you to do instead of filling your life with all the things that you think you want to do.

Caitlin: Yes, yes! Just sitting idly, and waiting for your life to begin, because your life and mission begins now.

Nancy: Amen! Your life is beginning now!

Caitlin: It’s such an exciting thing, just asking the Lord, “What do You have for me? What mission do You have for my life, God?”

Nancy: Absolutely! Your greatest joy comes from serving the Lord which is serving others. The only way you can serve the Lord is to serve others. That’s how you serve the Lord. If you're not serving others, laying down your life, putting aside things that every other young person is doing. No, you're going to be ministering to those who are needy. That’s serving the Lord!

Caitlin: “As you’ve done unto the least of these, you've done unto Me.” It’s so true. I also wanted to mention, because I was talking with my dear friend Mrs. Schrum the other day about how it is so beautiful to desire marriage, and to desire motherhood, even right now. It’s tied in very well with what we’re talking about, serving others, and focusing on God’s will for your life right now.

There’s nothing wrong with desiring marriage. In fact, it’s such a good thing for women to desire marriage. We mustn’t, however, allow that desire for marriage to become an idol in our lives, and to be a stumbling block, something that prevents us from serving the Lord in our season right now, and serving others.

I think it’s easy for the enemy to get into our minds, and to distract us sometimes with the good things in life, because he’s not going to able to attract us, since we’re Christians, with the bad things, usually. He oftentimes uses those good things, those great beautiful desires in our hearts and uses that to distract us from God’s will and plan for our lives. I think it is something to be aware of, that we can see that.

Nancy: But I don’t think that will happen if you're pouring out your life for others. It will not happen because that’s what you're focused on. I always say the greatest way to find the man that God has for you, or for God to bring him to you, because that is more scriptural.

Actually, if you go to Genesis, the pattern for everything is in the beginning of the Word of God, even in the first three chapters of Genesis. You find the pattern. We see here, when God created the woman, what was the first thing He did? It says in Genesis 2:22: “And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman,” and what did God do?

What was the first thing that He did when He made that woman? I wonder if anybody knows. You’re listening. Do you know?

Let me tell you. The first thing He did . . . He brought the woman to the man. That is the most beautiful thing. That was the first thing God did. He brought the woman to the man. That is God’s heart for you.

Young person, if you are listening, God will bring you to the man that He has chosen for you. The best way for that to happen is to be in the perfect will of God. If you are walking in His will, at that perfect moment you're going to meet that person! God is going to bring him to you, in the midst of your serving Him, and laying down your life for others. That’s just how it happens. You don’t have to go looking for him, getting in desperation, waiting for him. No, you pour out your heart. Be who God created you to be. Be the woman He created you to be.

By the way, be a woman, because the Bible says: “He brought the woman to the man.” The woman, the woman that He created. She was a woman, a female. She was not like a man. She was the opposite to the man. Do not try to be like a man. Be in every way the woman God wants you to be. Be female. Be feminine. Be everything God wants you to be as a woman because He’s bringing the woman to the man. That’s who He wants to bring to the man. He will do that, if you are walking in His perfect will.

Caitlin: Yes, I think as women, it’s so important to remember that our strength is in our dependency, our dependency upon the Lord. And then, eventually, our dependency will also be on our husbands. We, as women, are not to be completely and totally independent as the world may try to tell us. Dependency can be a beautiful thing.

Nancy: Yes, it is a glorious thing. Now, our time is going again. There’s something you mentioned to me, and I’d love to talk about it. That you also have a Hope Chest that you are preparing for one day when God brings this man into your life. Tell me about how you do that.

Caitlin: As I mentioned, it is such a beautiful thing, to hope and to dream, and to desire a godly man. In those years of waiting and preparation, I love to prepare with a Hope Chest. A Hope Chest is something that my mother had when she was a young woman, dreaming and preparing for her future husband and family. It’s something that’s been done for generations. But it’s something that’s lost today. It really is. Not many young ladies know about what a Hope Chest is, so I often find myself explaining this to young women. But it’s such a beautiful thing.

I have a chest in my room. It’s got beautiful scrollwork and everything. I asked if I could use it as a little seating nook. I do my Bible reading on the top of it. I sit on it. It’s like my little seating area. But it opens up the top and I fill it with all the little things that I want to store away for someday, whenever God brings a man into my life, and I become a wife, and eventually a mother, and have a home of my own.

I fill the box with things that I will need someday in setting up my future home. I have dishes and measuring cups, and I have linens, and china, and different things that have been given to me, maybe, or I like to find things at Goodwill. I store them away for someday. It helps me to keep my sights set on, “OK, God, You have a beautiful plan for me, and someday this may come to fruition.”

I pray over each of the items that I put in there. As I put all the items in there, I pray for my future husband. I pray for my future family. I pray for that day to come. I think that’s also so important, is to pray right now, in your youth, in your years of waiting, for your future spouse, because that man is going to need prayer. We need to pray that he’s seeking after the Lord right now and that he is being prepared for your future family, to be the leader in the home, the spiritual leader that God has called him to be. And that his heart will be ready for you, whenever that time comes.

I think that’s so important, to pray over him, and then pray over your future children as well, because like you said, the future generations, that’s what it’s all about, is raising these generations for Christ. But back to the Hope Chest, yes, that’s been something that I’ve really enjoyed, and it might be something that some other young women want to do.

Nancy: I’m so glad that you brought that up, Caitlin, because if you don’t have a Hope Chest, I’d love you to think about it. It is such a beautiful thing, which was, as you say, was done for generations, and is being lost today. In America, you call it a “Hope Chest.” In fact, I was reading, actually many years ago, that it used to be called a “wedding chest,” or sometimes a “dowry chest.” Then it became known as the “Hope Chest,” but not Down Under, where we come from.

Down Under, in New Zealand, where we were born and raised, of course that’s of English origin. Back in England, Australia, New Zealand, we call it the “Glory Box.” I love “Hope Chest,” because it gives you hope of all that’s to come, but also the “Glory Box” is also wonderful, thinking of the glory of getting married and raising a family.

Caitlin: Yes, the glory of womanhood.

Nancy: I love that. I actually did write a little poem about the Glory Box, because when I was giving a Glory Box to some of my older grand-daughters, we purchased cedar boxes for them. They have a beautiful, lovely aroma which is lovely for everything that you put in them. Let me read to you what I wrote.

I dream of the day I’ll walk down the aisle,

In a beautiful dress, with an amazing style.

I pray for my man, that he’ll be righteous and true.

Hardworking, faithful, and really true-blue.

I pray he’ll love children and have a father’s heart.

And from our marriage covenant never depart.

I will wait with patience for this godly man,

And while I’m waiting, I’ll prepare and plan,

I’ll make myself ready in every way,

Purifying my heart and character each day.

                                                 I’ll seek to be honest in all that I say

To keep my marriage from going astray.

I’ll fill my Glory Box with wares for my home,

To make it a place from where we’ll never roam.

I will gather treasures useful and rare,

To make our home a place that is fair.

I will be ready to make my home a delight,

Filled with God’s presence, His love, and light.

Enhanced by the assets I save in this chest,

To make our home a glory, the very best.

Caitlin: That’s so beautiful!

Nancy: It’s a great idea to save things. These are some of the things you’ve already mentioned. Some things that you can put in your Hope Chest, or your Glory Box. You mentioned linens, tablecloths. I think it’s lovely when you find some beautiful tablecloths to put away, because I think tablecloths are very, very precious in the home. The table is the heart of the home, and I think it’s a wonderful thing to even dream about it.

When you go into marriage, you’re going to make your table a very special place. Even when you start off with just your husband and you. One day it will grow, and there will be little ones all around your table and bigger ones. And you’ll get a bigger table. But to start off with knowing that the table is special. God sees it as special. A tablecloth is a beautiful thing.

In Proverbs it tells us that the wise woman sets her table. She makes it beautiful. You can often go to different places, even maybe a Goodwill, and you’ll see a beautiful tablecloth, something that’s different, something that’s special. Well, that’s a beautiful thing to put away in your Glory Box that you’ll be able to bring out one day.

Caitlin: I have a tablecloth. I have several items. Actually, I was going through my grandmother’s old things, and she was letting me take things to put into my Hope Chest. So, I have a tablecloth in there, a hand-embroidered tablecloth. Little things like that are so special.

Nancy: And that’s coming down the generations.

Caitlin: Yes! Little things like that. Keep your eyes open for those, ladies, because they’re so special. Someday, you’ll set your table, and you’ll be able to think of all the generations of women who set their tables before you.

Nancy: You’ll get gifts for your wedding, so you’ll get gifts. But there are special things. When people buy wedding gifts, they usually order them off the registry and so on. But the things that you're looking for are very special and unique, things that nobody is going to buy. You’re going to get them, and it makes them so special, doesn’t it?

Caitlin: Yes!

Nancy: We need aprons. Yes, special, glorious aprons that you can have, because aprons wear out. Oh goodness me, if you look at my aprons, wow! I’ll get a beautiful apron but it’s not long before it’s all dirty. I wash it, but it’s still got all those stains on it. I need aprons, because if I didn’t wear aprons, I’d really dirty my clothes.

Caitlin: Right! I love aprons! I love keeping them as a uniform of the homemaker. I use aprons now in my work that I do at home, as a homemaker-in-training.

Nancy: Yes, and sewing kits. Little treasures that you think would be beautiful to have in your home. And recipes. Even inspiration and so forth. All kinds of things. It’s a lovely idea. It made me think of an article I printed in Above Rubies years ago.

I don’t think any of you would even remember it. It was written by Val Stares. Val Stares is the Director of Above Rubies in Australia. Van has been with me in the ministry of Above Rubies from the very, very beginning. We’ve been doing it for 47 years now.

We started it in New Zealand, and I’ll never forget the day when I was up at the hospital, visiting a friend. Her little boy was sick in the hospital. Val was there, and I said to her, “Val! We are going to begin a magazine to get out across the nation to encourage mothers and homemakers!” She looked at me with this blank stare, wondering what on earth I was talking about. Her name is “Stares.” Well, she gave me just this blank stare!

I didn’t even know that that morning she had said to the Lord, “If Nancy Campbell comes up with any more of her great ideas, I’m not getting involved!” I was always getting her involved in things. Well, she got involved and she’s still involved today!

But I would ask that you pray for her. I’ve just heard that Val, although she’s still seeking to look after Above Rubies, is actually bedridden at the moment. She can’t lift her arms, and she can’t lift her feet. She really does need a prayer of healing and deliverance. Pray for her. Those of you listening in Australia, maybe you can contact Val and encourage her in some way.

Well, anyway, Val wrote this article years ago about her eldest granddaughter when she became 13. Val thought, “We’re going to do something different, something special.” So, Val and her daughter Natalie got together, and they decided they would have, because it’s Down Under, they would have a Glory Box party. Val’s husband, who is the most amazing guy with wood, made this beautiful, beautiful Glory Box for her.

Then they decided to have a surprise party. It was a surprise Glory Box party. They were going to have a special celebration for her 13^th birthday, but they didn’t tell her what it was going to be. Everybody else knew, and they were all bringing special gifts for her Glory Box.

Caitlin: Oh, that’s a beautiful idea!

Nancy: And also, along with that, inspiration and blessings for her coming marriage one day that she could have. Some special friend said, “OK, we’re taking you out to a restaurant. We’re driving you.” So, they took her in the car, and she was dressed up, because they knew it was going to be a formal thing. They were driving around. They played loud music to try to confuse her. They drove all around.

Eventually they arrived back home because it was in the home. She comes in and sees all her friends here. Not just her friends her age, but the mothers. And there is the beautiful Glory Box. They had a beautiful formal dinner, gloriously set tables, and speeches. Then they gave her all the gifts for her Glory Box.

Caitlin: That’s so precious!

Nancy: Wasn’t that a beautiful thing to do. for a 13^th birthday?

Caitlin: Yes!

Nancy: Now, ladies, wow! Mothers, some of you might like to take that up. Maybe you want to do it for your daughter’s 16^th birthday, or even her 18^th birthday. But Val thought, “Wow, let her get started early on her 13^th birthday!”

Caitlin: It’s never too early to start dreaming, and planning, and preparing for the future. One thing I love that you said was that the women brought wisdom. Ladies, I want to tell you that it’s been so important to me, in these years of preparation, to have women, older women who have a wealth of knowledge like Nana here. She’s just pouring into my life.

I like to say I have the Hope Chest of my mind, where I store away little tips and tidbits of information that I’m keeping for that day. Because, yes, you may be listening to an older mother talking about how she mothers her children, or how she likes to do this or that or the other, like preparing her table.

You may be thinking, “That doesn’t apply to me right now.” But take note, because someday it will. It will be so important, and you will wish that you had taken note of those things, those little bits of wisdom in your youth, so that you can then apply it in your life as a mother. That’s something that I love to encourage young ladies to do, is to find others who are wise, and who they look up to, who are mothers and wives, and really glean from their wealth of knowledge and wisdom.

Nancy: Oh, yes! Yes. That is so wonderful. And how’s our time, girls? How are we going? Oh, we’re getting close, aren’t we? Anyway, please, I hope that if you aren’t already getting your daughters . . . It’s not really something they can get themselves. It’s usually something parents will get for their daughters. That’s something lovely you can think about, even for a special birthday, I think that’s so wonderful.

Caitlin: I think my parents gave me my Hope Chest when I was about 15 years old. And that was something that my mother’s parents had given her as well. That’s just such a special thing.

Nancy: Before we close this session, Caitlin and I actually think we’re going to do one more session, because there’s something else I want to ask you. I think it may take the whole session, but if you've got anything else in your heart to share as we close this session.

Caitlin: Oh, yes. I think it’s so important, like we’ve been saying, in all things, surrender it all to God. Your hopes, your dreams, your desires as a young woman. Surrender it all to the Lord. It’s OK to cry out to the Lord, even if tears come, because it is such a burning desire in our hearts as women.

But seek after His will wholeheartedly and ask Him what it is He wants to teach you during this time. Ask Him to prepare your heart for that season of marriage and motherhood later on. Don’t be afraid to make your requests known to God. Don’t feel guilty for desiring motherhood. Don’t feel guilty for desiring a husband.

Nancy: That’s normal!

Caitlin: It’s so normal! In fact, he loves to tell us, put that little feeling in the corner. Don’t worry about desiring that now.

Nancy: We’re allowed to dream about it.

Caitlin: Allow yourself to dream, and to hope, and to plan for the future, because it’s such a natural God-given desire. It’s healthy for us, as women.

Nancy: It’s part of being a woman.

Caitlin: Yes, and to revel and glory in that.

Nancy: We glory in these womanly things. We don’t cast them aside.

One more session, because it will be an important one. It will take a whole session, I think. Let’s pray.

And we’ve got to hurry because we’re all going to the THM Café for lunch today. We’ve got people waiting to get in the car.

Caitlin: Haven and Gedi waited for us.

Nancy: “Dear Father, we thank You again that we can talk about these beautiful things, Lord God, because they’re how You made us. I pray that You will bless all the young people, the children, and the beautiful mothers listening today, Lord God.

“I pray, Father, for all the beautiful young godly women who are seeking to walk in Your ways. I pray that You will bring godly young men into their lives, Lord God. Oh Father, I ask that You will, in Your wonderful, wonderful way, that You will bring these godly men, and You will cause them, Lord, to find them in that perfect time, just as you did at the very beginning. You brought the woman to the man.

“We pray that you’ll bring these beautiful young ladies, Lord, to the man that You have chosen, a man who loves you with all his heart. We ask You for this in the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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DON’T FORGET TO TELL OTHERS ABOUT THESE PODCASTS AND TRANSCRIPTS.

“LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell, Above Rubies”

DON’T KEEP THE BLESSINGS TO YOURSELF.

IT IS ENCOURAGING FOR ALL WIVES AND MOTHERS.

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 325: What Do You Do While You Wait for The Man of Your Dreams? Part 1

CALL YOUR TEENS AND YOUNG DAUGHTERS TO JOIN YOU AS YOU LISTEN TO THIS SESSION.

Caitlin Drennan joins me today. Caitlin and her sister, Elizabeth, have been my wonderful Above Rubies helpers for the last two months. Caitlin (20 years old) shares her heart about waiting for the man of her dreams. What is she doing to fulfil her life as she waits for this moment?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! We have a special podcast coming up today. I have with me my wonderful Above Rubies helper, Caitlin. I have never done a podcast with one of my Above Rubies helpers before, but today we’re going to do that. We’re going to talk about WHAT DO YOU DO WHILE YOU WAIT FOR THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS?

What I suggest is that you call all your daughters around. As you're going to listen to this, grab them. Yell out to them now to come. Maybe some of your daughters are not even at home. Well, give them a call. Tell them if they can, listen into this, because this is especially for the young people in these years, just waiting for that man who they are dreaming will come along, because let’s face facts. Every girl is dreaming of that man that God is going to send to her. That’s natural. That’s normal. That’s how it’s meant to be. Some will deny that, but really, they’re not being truthful, because that’s what they’re longing for.

So, Caitlin is 20 years of age. She had her 20^th birthday while she was with us here. She’s going to share her heart today. I think it’s going to be so amazing!

Are you yelling out to all your young people and also, the little girls too? Because they will love to hear these things. In fact, my granddaughters, even when they were little toddlers, wanted to be princesses, and dreaming of when they would marry a prince. All little girls are going to love this podcast today.

Before we get into it, I want to catch you up with where we are with the Above Rubies Magazine. I now have the new magazine, # 102. I have it all ready to go to print. I’m so excited to get another issue of Above Rubies out to this nation and to the whole of the world. Oh, how we need to get out this truth!

I still don’t have all the money in. I’m believing for it, but I’m just going ahead in faith and trusting that I’ll be going to print very shortly. I would also ask you, if you have a change of address, or any changes at all, please send them into me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

When we send out a magazine, we have hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of magazines that get returned to us because nobody knows where to send them. The people have left their address and they’ve never let us know. That wastes a magazine. So, do let us know if you’ve changed your address. Or if you have other people you’d love to give Above Rubies, you can send in their names and addresses. Or if you're not even on the mailing list, make sure you are, because this is going to be a wonderful, encouraging magazine that’s going to come out to you.

And if the Lord touches your heart, perhaps you’ll even want to give a donation. This is the only way we get Above Rubies out to the world. In fact, this is the longest I have waited between magazines because I’m waiting for the finance. I don’t go to print until I can pay for it! So, if the Lord touches your heart to get out this message of truth to the families of the world, please help us. OK? Oh, the Lord bless you.

Now, we’re getting back to our podcast today. I hope you've got your teens around you, and your little girls, and everybody listening. I’m introducing Caitlin! Say hi!

Caitlin: Hello, everyone! I’m so honored to be here today and get to sit with Nana. It’s what we call her as Ruby Girls here, Nana. I’ve listened to her podcasts for years growing up, with my mother. Doing dishes we would listen to the podcast. It’s such an honor to get to be here today and share a little bit of my heart for young women.

Nancy: It’s going to be so exciting. I have with me here Caitlin, and her sister Elizabeth. I always have two Above Rubies girls at a time. This time, Caitlin and Elizabeth came together. I think it’s rather lovely when sisters can be together. Actually, Caitlin and Elizabeth came last summer as well. Elizabeth was a little younger. Usually, I don’t take girls until they’re at least 17, but I said, “Oh, yes, well, Elizabeth can come if she can come with her sister.” Well, Elizabeth proved that she was as good as any 25-year-old!

Caitlin: Oh, yes!

Nancy: She’s been such a blessing and is still a blessing. We’re so blessed by all the beautiful Above Rubies girls that come into our home, they come from lovely homeschooling families. Colin and I always say that we have the cream of the nation come into our home. Well, sometimes we get the cream on top of the cream! That’s what we think of Caitlin and Elizabeth. They’re just about to leave. Their time here . . . It’s going to be so sad. We don’t know what we’ll do without them.

Caitlin: Oh, we’re so sad.

Nancy: I have Ruth here. She’s come. She’s learning already to take over, and another girl will be coming soon too. It’s such a joy to have them. In fact, Caitlin’s family, the Drennans, are now actually praying about selling their property down in Texas and coming to live with us up here on the Hilltop! We can’t wait for that to happen.

Caitlin: Yes, we’re happy about it.

Nancy: Let me tell you something else too. Now, am I allowed to tell? Elizabeth, actually, now has a friendship with one of Serene’s sons, Shepherd. He’s such a lovely young man. Actually, it started last year, and then this year, they’re still moving along in their little sweet friendship, and it’s so beautiful.

Caitlin: Yes. Well, I have to say it’s been just the greatest blessing, coming and being able to be an Above Rubies helper. Some Ruby Girls dream about being an Above Rubies girl for years and years, growing up with the magazine. But at least it’s something that came about, pretty soon before we came as Ruby Girls.

It’s been such a blessing to be able to come and be a part of this community. my sister and I together. It’s such an incredible opportunity. So, I recommend it to any young girl who is seeking to go on a mission for Jesus. It’s an amazing incredible opportunity to get to sit at the feet of the Campbells and get to really glean from their years of wisdom and walking with the Lord. We’ve been so incredibly blessed. We are so sad to have to leave the community for a short time right now.

Nancy: But then, what happens is you become part of this family on the Hilltop. It’s not just being with us. You’ve made so many friends and now you’re family too. Now, goodness me, you’re just going to come and live here.

Caitlin: Yes, yes! It’s so incredible to see a community that really has a heart and passion for the Lord, daily striving for what He has for us as children of God. A community coming together to serve Him and seek His will.

Nancy: As Caitlin said, they do call us Nana and Granddad, because we have so many grandchildren around calling us Nana and Granddad. Many in the fellowship call us Nana and Granddad, so I say to the girls, “Look, you might as well call us Nana and Granddad too.” We love that. I would expect them to call me Mr. and Mrs. Campbell if they didn’t want to do that, but this sounds so formal. We do love “Nana and Granddad.”

It’s a little bit like what The Newsboys would call my husband back in the early days because they were so much part of our lives in the early days. For a few years, Colin was actually driving them. When we lived back in Australia, before we even came to the States, The Newsboys lived with us at some stages.

Because they were so close to us, they didn’t want to be disrespectful. They didn’t want to call my husband “Colin,” because that would be disrespectful. It was too formal to call him “Mr. Campbell,” so they nick-named him “Mr. C.” They used to call him “Mr. C.” back in those days.

Caitlin: That’s great!

Nancy: So, let’s get on. We’re going to talk, as I said, about, what do you do while you’re waiting for this man to come along? Because, really, that’s what you're always waiting for. What are you going to do while you're waiting? What are you doing, Caitlin?

Caitlin: Absolutely. I have to say, growing up, my mother found Above Rubies when I was about six years old, so I’ve grown up with this passion, naturally, a God-given desire to be a wife and a mother someday. I think that’s the desire of most young women. It’s just innate. It’s instilled in us, like you say.

Nancy: Unless it’s brainwashed out of you.

Caitlin: Right. Absolutely.

Nancy: I think that is totally . . . It’s our innate longing. God has put it in us. But, of course, you have so many young people today who don’t want to get married, and they don’t . . . Well, they might want to get married, because they fall in love, but then, they’re not really wanting to have children or be bogged down in the home.

But that is because they’ve been programmed, and brainwashed, and told that motherhood is insignificant. They’ve got to go out and make their way in the world with their career. And it’s all brainwashing, because it is not what is truly within a woman. It’s what God has put within us, and if we take away all the brainwashing, that’s what we’re left with; that longing and desire to get married, to have children, to make a home.

Caitlin: Yes! Absolutely! I’ve definitely had that longing and desire in my heart for many years! As a young girl, as long as I can really remember. Yes, as I’ve come of that age when some young women are finding young men and they’re getting married, and all of that, it’s been a journey for me to find out what is it that God has for me in this time of waiting, because I haven’t found a young man yet. And that’s OK.

God sometimes doesn’t bring about the young man that He has for you for a good number of years. He has His timing and His divine plan for each and every young woman. It’s been a journey that He’s taken me on, personally, finding out how can I best use this time that He’s given me.

It’s been laid on my heart that our mission in ministry for Jesus starts now. I think in this Above Rubies culture and community, a lot of young women who are in my place, having grown up with this countercultural view of what a woman is and her purpose within the home, it’s such a beautiful thing. They tend to have this mentality that sometimes you have to just wait, and their mission can’t start until they are a mother, or until they are a wife. They have to wait for that time.

But I want to encourage you young women that your mission can start NOW, in preparation for those wonderful, beautiful days, whenever God calls you to be a wife and a mother. Your mission and ministry for Jesus starts now. You don’t have to wait until you’re married or have children to start your form of ministry for the kingdom. Start now, being an on-fire, sold-out Christian who is completely surrendered to Him and His will for your life.

Nancy: What does that mean, practically, in your life, Caitlin?

Caitlin: For me, I was pouring out everything for the Lord, my heart’s desires. I laid it all at His feet, and I asked Him, “How can I best use this time to serve You, God? How can I prepare myself for those years of marriage and motherhood?” He laid it on my heart that I needed to be in training, and prepare myself, and be at my mother’s feet too, watching and learning.

Honestly, I’ve been doing this for years, growing up. My mother’s been training me to be a wife and mother my whole life. But really, pressing in and learning how to keep a home, how to care for a family, serve my family well.

But even more importantly, though, I felt the call to use this time to really throw myself wholeheartedly into God’s Word, and to prepare myself spiritually, because I know that whenever I am married, when I have children, my time will be more limited. I won’t necessarily have as much time to devote to pouring myself out into God’s Word. I think it’s so important right now, as we’re young, and we are single, that God has given us this time to prepare spiritually for this mission that He has for us.

And then also, I felt that God was leading me to come and serve the Above Rubies ministry, which, honestly, I wouldn’t be able to do if I was married and had children. Yes, God has a specific plan and timing for everything. That would have been wonderful if I had been married already, but He allowed for me to have this time to be an Above Rubies helper.

Nancy: Getting back to your pouring your heart into the Word, I think that is a very, very important point. I go back to my younger years, before I was married, late teens and early twenties, although I was married by the time I was 21. But in my late teens, I wasn’t thinking about marriage so much. I was sold out to the Lord, and I thought I would go out and be an “old maid” missionary.

Caitlin: Right! [laughter]

Nancy: But at that time of my life, I was so set to seek after God that I did pour my heart into the Word. I made it a habit, so that every day I woke up early, very early. I would set my alarm for five in the morning. I would get up. Well, I didn’t want to get up, especially wintertime in New Zealand, because back there, we didn’t have air conditioning or heating, or anything like that. In the wintertime, it was freezing. You’d put your feet on the floor, and it would be like ice. I’d be, “Oooh, I’m going to go back into bed!”

I knew that I wouldn’t want to get up, so I would set another alarm about five minutes later, under the bed, or some weird place where I’d have to knock my head to turn it off. I’d be really awake, and then I would go to my special room under the home where I would go. I would spend three hours in the Word, and in prayer, and seeking God, because I had this longing and desire to do that.

But now, looking back, I see that it was the greatest preparation for my life as a mother, and raising our children, and for my whole life since. I don’t think I would be doing what I’m doing today, or even doing Above Rubies if I hadn’t had that foundation in the Word. You come into your marriage, and into motherhood, with the Word already in you, because I believe that is one of the greatest preparations for motherhood is having that Word in you.

We, as mothers, have got to be the teachers of the Word to our children. In fact, we are the teachers of life to our children. We’re the teachers of their whole worldview. We either teach them a biblical worldview, or a worldly worldview. We’re got to have strong convictions that are in the Word, that are founded on the Word of God. What you’re doing is so wonderful, because it is one of the greatest preparations to prepare yourself.

Caitlin: Yes, absolutely! Yes. These are the training grounds for that time. I love what you said about we, as women, we are the ones who are to teach the next generation. I think it’s so important, even in our years before children, to really capture that generational mindset, to really adopt that mindset, and realize that what we are doing now is not only going to affect our future children, but future generations of warriors for Christ, and those who will uphold righteousness in our nation and our world.

It’s such an important thing to catch ahold of in this time of preparation, because I think we will be more motivated to dig deep into the Word if we have that vision. OK, I’m not just preparing for my future or my future children. No, I’m preparing for generations!

Nancy: Oh, you are!

Caitlin: Followers of Jesus who are going to be blessed because of my obedience to God right now. I think it’s so important, like my parents definitely instilled in us that generational mindset from a very early age. My dad, in a very humble place, he always said that he felt that God had called him to be like an Abraham, and to lead the next generation of warriors for Christ, those who are going to seek wholeheartedly after Him.

I grew up with that mentality. We are not just preparing for our future, but for our children’s future, and our grandchildren’s future, and great-grandchildren! We’re pouring into that in what we’re doing right now. Yes.

Nancy: I love Joshua 1:8. “This book of the Lord shall not depart out of thy mouth, but thou shalt meditate therein, day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written there in, for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” The whole success of our future lives hinges on the foundation of the Word, of having that Word in us.

I also, in those years, my later teen years, I did a lot of Scripture memory. That’s one of the things I’m so grateful for! I still love to learn Scripture, but it’s much more difficult now. I’ll learn it, and sometimes it just seems to disappear, and I’ve got to learn it again. But those Scriptures, and there were so many that I learned in those younger years, they are still with me. They do not evade me, ever. I can just speak them forth. They’re in me.

Yes, we are waiting upon the Lord. Listening to Him is so important. That’s why it’s not so easy to have your ten-minute reading of the Word or something. I grew up being encouraged and inspired that you must have your daily Quiet Time. And it was a good thing. I started off with that habit, but it grew bigger and bigger and bigger.

I still encourage young people today. But I have yet to really find many who will really take it up. Oh yes, they’ll have their little Bible reading, and that’s about it. That’s good. A little Bible reading every day is good, and I hope you're doing that. But there’s something more. There is more. There is always more, and the more we will put into it, the more we will get for our lives.

I encourage any listening today, that you would have it in your heart to not just do your ten-minute reading. “Ok, done that for today!” No, but put aside time. Put aside an hour, maybe two hours. I don’t know whether you can go to three hours like I used to every day.

But, oh, I used to find I never had enough time, because there’s so much in the Word. It’s our life. I do encourage, and memorizing, and memorizing. I was blessed that my father loved to memorize the Word of God, so we would do a lot of memorizations together. When he was in his 80’s, he was still memorizing chapters of the Word of God. When he preached, the Word of God just poured out of him. It was so wonderful.

Caitlin: That’s incredible! I have to say, you are the biggest inspiration for me in memorizing Scripture, because it’s incredible. Nana here can just rattle off all kinds of Scriptures that are applying to whatever situation we’re talking about. It’s so incredibly inspiring.

I hope that someday I can memorize like that, that I have that much knowledge of the Word, to where I can pull one out whenever I need it. Yes, it’s so inspiring to see how you really do have those Scriptures available to you at any given moment.

Nancy: Yes. I think we can all do that. One of my favorite Scriptures in the Word of God, I have so many, is Proverbs 4:18: “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth MORE AND MORE unto the perfect day.” This is my walk with the Lord. It’s a more and more walk. Every day is something more. Every day there’s something more in the Word of God. There’s always something more to learn, or there’s something more I’m convicted about. It’s always more and more.

Even when we’re convicted, that is proof that the Holy Spirit is dwelling in our lives, that He's still speaking to us, keeping us in line. That’s our walk with the Lord. I want to encourage all you young people, you're only beginning, and it’s going to be more and more and more and more as you go on.

Caitlin: Yes, absolutely. That’s so important. I think that it’s so crucial right now, during this time, when we are preparing for that man that God is going to be bringing into our lives, that we press in, and become the kind of person that you are looking for in a husband. Because you want a man who is filled with God’s Word. You want a man who is pressing into Scripture and seeking the Lord wholeheartedly.

So, focus on being a Spirit-filled, on-fire, sold-out Proverbs 31 woman, and God will send you the kind of man you are looking for, because you want a partner in life-long ministry. Be someone who attracts a man who has a heart after God, and a vision for having a family on this thing with Jesus.

Nancy: I know, and that’s so true, Caitlin. I know that is our testimony, too, because Colin and I were both totally sold out to God in our young years, you know, in those years, when people are courting and so on. All I wanted was a man who loved God with all his heart and was passionate for God. But that’s what he wanted, too. So, we found each other!

Caitlin: Yes! Isn’t that incredible?

Nancy: That’s the wonderful thing. That’s what you’re saying. You will find the desire of your heart, but YOU HAVE RTO BE THAT TOO! You want a man after God’s own heart, well, you've got to be that woman after God’s own heart, because that’s what he will be looking for.

Caitlin: Absolutely! It reminds me of Matthew 6:33: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” We have to seek after God if we want Him to bring about that kind of man.

Nancy: In fact, when Colin and I were courting, where did we mostly court? In prayer meetings!

Caitlin: Prayer meetings! That’s wonderful.

Nancy: Where we mostly attended. We were in prayer meetings. Prayer meetings. In fact, in those days, it was a day when God was pouring out His Spirit in our land in New Zealand. We were having all-night prayer meetings at our home. Way down in the city where my husband lived, he was going to prayer meetings like that too.

When we met, we would be in prayer meetings. I notice, I think, Elizabeth, maybe you and Shepherd spend more time in prayer meetings than anything else on the Hilltop here! But what a wonderful way to begin your courtship.

Caitlin: Absolutely. That’s so beautiful.

Nancy: It’s seeking after God, but also life is practical.

Caitlin: Right!

Nancy: What are you doing practically to prepare?

Caitlin: Practically, I definitely, whenever I am at home, I am preparing myself by serving my family. I’m learning all the skills, practically, that I would need to be a wife and mother, to honor the Lord in my home, and to care for my family well.

But I’m also looking for opportunities to minister outside the home, too, because that’s so important. Like I said, with Above Rubies, I’ve been able to do that. And then also pressing in. Keeping God’s will is so important because everyone’s story is so different. God likes all of our stories.

I think it’s incredibly important to keep God’s will for your life. Where does He want you to be in ministry? Where does He want you to impact others? This is the time that He is going to lay before you opportunities that maybe you wouldn’t have otherwise if you were married. So, yes, I think it’s important to seek after God’s will, and ask Him, “Where is it that You want to have me?” For many years growing up, I definitely had that mindset.

I did not feel the calling to go to college, specifically, because I knew that my calling was to be a wife and a mother, and to hopefully encourage the next generation of young women, and to point to them. College was not in God’s plan for me, even though many suggested college, or asked questions. “Why aren’t you going to college?” I had to say, “That’s just not God’s plan for me.” That’s OK, if that’s someone else’s plan, that if that’s what God has for them, because, like I said, everyone’s story is going to written differently.

Nancy: Although I think, really, what happens in most people’s lives today is, they don’t often really even seek the Lord for His plan, because it’s just the norm. OK, you graduate, you go to college. They think, “OK, that’s what I do.” And usually, the parents send them to college.

There may have been a time, years and years ago, that would have been fine. But sadly, our colleges today are breeding grounds for extreme socialism and communism. They are pouring out into our nation a generation who are totally brainwashed, actually, in communism.

People find this hard to believe, but no, we are facing communism in this nation. In fact, I saw recently a few times on Instagram, I could not believe it! This was not in China. This was in the USA, where there were hundreds and hundreds of people marching and waving the communist flag! I could not believe it! This is the USA! They were young people who have been brainwashed in college.

I don’t believe, I don’t believe that any young girl especially, because it’s such a carnal place. I know too many stories of these beautiful young, homeschooled girls who have gone off to college and they come home, and they’re violated. They’re no longer virgins. And their whole brains have been changed. They have been brainwashed in everything that’s anti-God and anti-family, and against the Constitution of our nation.

Caitlin: It’s so heartbreaking.

Nancy: Why would we go to college to learn that? If there was something very specific, it can be done online. There are college classes which you can do online. There’s so much you can learn online today. You can get degrees online, which often now are important, especially for men who are going to be the providers of the home.

They often need these degrees, and they need their education, although really, even more than a degree, I do believe, that a man’s gift makes room for him. The Word of God says in Proverbs 18:16: “A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before kings.” My father brought me up on that Scripture.

It was true in his own life. The giftings that he had all his life brought him before royalty. As the world champion shearer, he sheared before the Queen on more than one occasion. But it is true. I see in my own children, all grown up, most of my children are now grandparents themselves.

Do I have to tell you a secret? Not one of our children went to college, but they are all successful in what they are doing, perhaps more successful than the average person. Their gifts made room for them, made way for them, and blessed them in this life. That’s God’s plan. He puts the gifts that He gives us in us. If we have opportunity to use those giftings, God blesses them, and therefore blesses our lives.

Caitlin: Yes, absolutely. That’s so important. It’s so true, what you were saying. You’re seeking after God’s will. The most important thing is to learn to seek after God’s will for your life right now, in your youth, and to learn to listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit in your life, and to be open to whatever He sends your way. If we are fully surrendered and seeking Him in all of our ways, then, yes, we will be doing the will of the Father.

I think that is so important to learn to listen to His voice is all things. Isaiah 26:3 says: “You keep him in perfect peace. His mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You.” That’s a verse that’s always really resonated with me, because I find that whenever I’m seeking the Lord, it’s usually the peace that surpasses all understanding that He gives me whenever He is showing me, “This is what I have for you.”

Whenever I wait, trying to figure out after I had graduated homeschool graduation, I was trying to figure out, “What is it, Lord, that You have for me next in this life? Because I’m not married right now. What is it that You have for me? I don’t want to waste this precious time that You’ve given me. I want to be on missions for You, Jesus. I want my life to already be fully surrendered to You in all areas. I want to be a missionary for You.”

Not necessarily abroad, not a missionary abroad, because you can be a missionary on the home front, a missionary in the marketplace. I was really seeking the Lord in that. My idea had been, “I’m going to stay home. God has given me this opportunity to learn from my family, my mother, how to be a wife, mother, homemaker.

I figured, “Oh well, I’ll never do anything outside of the home.” But He brought to me the Above Rubies internship. I really questioned. I was asking, “Lord God? Am I supposed to do this? This would be leaving my family for two months. God, is this really what You have for me?” But then, yes, He showed me, “This is what I have for you. I have something for you there. I have something for you to learn.” We have to be open to God’s working and will in our lives, because it may look different than we originally expected it to look.

Then also, another thing that He laid on my heart to work on. I became a Trim Healthy Mama Coach. Entrepreneurship has been very important to me in my life. I felt God had laid that on my heart too, to be able to minister to women through that. Yes, that’s also been another means that God has given to me to minister to others. I think it’s important to work on those ministry opportunities now, because those will carry over into our lives. We want a family that is on missions for Jesus.

Nancy: Yes, and that’s something you can do right throughout your married life. I must say that, OK, Caitlyn hasn’t been to college, but she came into this home last year, and again this year with her sister. These girls came in. They know how to run a home. They’re the most beautiful cooks.

But they can do anything in the office. They are so well educated. There’s nothing they don’t know. In fact, many times I’m a little clueless about things when they go wrong on the computer. “Help! Caitlyn, please come and show me how to do this!” She can fix anything. But there’s a lot more we’ve got to talk about. There are things I’ve got to ask you yet, so we’ll have to do another session, OK? Since the time has gone.

Caitlin: Yes, of course!

Nancy: All right, next podcast we’ll be having Caitlin again. So, bring your daughters back for some more interesting things we’ve got to talk about. We haven’t got to all the nitty gritty yet. Let’s pray.

“Lord, we thank You again, that we can be together, talk about the things that belong to us as women, and even in our single days. Father, I pray that You will bless everyone listening today, all the young people, children, everyone, Lord God. Pour out Your blessing on them. Lord, we pray that You will cement our families closer and closer together and strengthen them in this hour. We pray in Jesus’ Name. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

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Transcribed by Darlene Norris

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