Above Rubies Daily Encouragement Blogs

What gifts of speech a man may own,
What grace of manners may appear,
Have little worth unless his heart
Be honest, forthright and sincere.

The sincere man is like a rock,
As true as time; with honest eye
He looks you squarely in the face
Nor turns aside to make reply.

Nothing is hidden; there is no sham,
No camouflage to caution care,
No ifs or buts to haunt the mind,
Or secret doubts to linger there.

A crystal candor marks his speech,
With conscience clear he goes his way,
He does the thing he thinks is right
Nor cares a whit what others say.

Give me a man that is sincere,
And though a wealth of faults attend,
I shall clasp his hand in mind
And claim him as a trusted friend!

~ Alfred Grant Walton

I am preparing an article about the practical things a father should teach his sons. Today, many young men are growing up not knowing how to do basic things that a man needs to know. I would love to hear from you.

Could you please email me with your suggestions to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

Put COLIN in the Subject heading.

Thanks,

COLIN

Envy was the sin that caused the chief priests to deliver Jesus to be crucified. Matthew 27:18 says, "For he knew that for envy they had delivered him." The question is, what did they envy about Jesus? Perhaps it was the mighty miracles he performed. Nicodemus stated in John 3: 2, "We know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him."

Perhaps it was the authority by which He spoke. Mark 1:22 says, "And they were astonished at his doctrine: for he taught them as one that had authority, and not as the scribes." Perhaps it was because the multitudes and crowds followed Him, and not them, the spiritual leaders, that made them envious.

The word "jealousy" is used sometimes when translating this same word, e.g. "Jealousy is cruel as the grave" (Song of Solomon 8:6). This point was proved in the sinful reason behind Christ being given over to Pilate for crucifixion.

Proverbs 14:30 says, "A sound heart is the life of the flesh, but envy the rottenness of the bones." In other words, an envious husband is a rotten husband, and the same goes for the wife. We cannot say we have love if at the same time we envy our wife's popularity or intelligence, or perhaps a neighbor's wealth or accomplishments.

How sad it is when a family is destroyed because a spouse envies someone else's spouse. True love rejoices when others are blessed. True love resists all envy and jealousy of others.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

The love chapter tells us that love is not jealous of others (1 Corinthians 13:4). Love is contented with its status or lot in life. Love is not driven by a lust to be noticed, famous, or applauded by this world.

Many homes and families know very little about rest and contentment. The desire to be like the wealthy, to drive an expensive car, to live in an upscale neighborhood, or to have enough money to buy the latest iPhone, computer, or fashionable clothes causes much stress. Mothers feel they have to leave their highest calling of motherhood and put their children in day care centers and state education.

I am not saying that we should not better ourselves if it is within our budget and ability to do so, but we should do this without putting anxiety and stress upon ourselves or our family. I'm not talking about being contented to just sit around and do nothing. Banish the thought. What I am saying is that a discontented and anxious father or mother is not a good role model of the love that does not envy. True love will be calm, relaxed, and enjoy the goodness of the Lord for the blessings and provisions that you have, even though it may be humble.

Men, our wife and family need a relaxed and contented father far more than a nervous, over-driven, and no-time-for-fun father.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

The kindness of God is revealed in His patience and forgiveness towards His own people, even after they had refused to obey, hardened their necks and appointed a captain to return to their bondage (Nehemiah 9:17). The Scripture goes on to say, "But thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of GREEAT kindness, and forsookest them not."

There may come times in our marriage and family life when we also may feel that our loved ones have despised or mistreated us over and over again. We may be tempted to respond harshly in their hour of need and harden our heart against helping them when it is in our power to do so. Many couples, and families, hold attitudes of coolness and unforgiveness to one another because of wrongs that have been done, even many years ago. Sometimes, those attitudes are only put right at a death bed. How sad!

I know of a man who held unforgiveness towards his own son and grandchildren until a few years before he died. After being reconciled to his son, instead of dying, God healed him and used him to bring healing to many other people.

God's kindness is described as GREAT in Nehemiah 9:7 and MARVELOUS in Psalm 31:21.

We men must come to grips with this truth that the God who lives in us is GREAT and MARVELOUS in kindness. This should be our testimony, too.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

The home is the foundation of every society. Therefore, if the home is weak and deprived of the necessary ingredients to make it strong the nation eventually suffers. The Holy Spirit, speaking through the apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:4 states that "love is kind." Kindness is a necessary ingredient for love. Therefore we conclude that if our love for our wife and children lacks kindness, we do not have the true love of God.

Kind men will speak kind words. Kind men will do kind things. Kindness should be on the menu of our table every day.

Men, we should say something very kind to our wives every day, as well as each one of our children. I think it would be most worthwhile to take a little time, even in the midst of your busy life, to think about a kind and considerate word to say to each member of your family, starting with your wife. It doesn't have to be big, but it does need to be thoughtful and considerate.

"I really do love you "are very important words to say regularly, but they must be backed up with evidence of kind actions. Otherwise, "I love you" can be shallow and hollow words without much substance.

Men, we need to pray daily that God will help us to demonstrate with lots of lovingkindness the love that we say we have .

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Kindness means to show goodness, tenderness, loving affection, gentleness, and consideration to others. Fathers who seek to role model the love our heavenly Father has for us will be kind men.

Men, every day in our marriage and family life, we have so many opportunities to show acts of lovingkindness. Kindness will stop us from being inconsiderate of other's feelings. We cannot be absorbed with self and demonstrate kindness at the same time for acts of kindness are considerate of other's needs as well as other's feelings.

A kind man will not ride rough shod over the sensitive feelings of his wife and children. A kind man will not enjoy bringing correction to his wife and family, lest he wound them unnecessarily. However, there will be times when he must bring correction for this is part of his leadership. But, because of his kindness he will not enjoy it.. Eli allowed kindness to stop him from bringing godly correction to his sons. In this matter it would have been kinder to bring correction when it was appropriate than to have God bring judgment on him and his sons for his failure to consider God's feelings above his sons ( (1 Samuel, chapters 3 and 4).

Kind fathers are desperately needed.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

The King James Bible interprets "patience" as "longsuffering." I admire this "longsuffering of love" when I observe it in parents who have children with special needs, a handicap, or a serious disease that requires tender loving care. Often they have the extra responsibilities of oxygen apparatus or wheel chairs. It seems to me that God give these parents this wonderful longsuffering love that requires a lifetime of service. This great quality of love is also needed by wives and families of returned wounded soldiers.

It would be a good thing if the church would do all it could to lend a helping hand to those who face these demanding challenges.

It is sad that many who name the name of Christ are so taken up with themselves that when faced with the challenge of "love that suffers long" fall flat on their faces. They terminate their marriage so quickly. They end their friendships quickly. They throw in the towel on homeschooling (too demanding!). They don't have longsuffering patience to even have more than one or two children, let alone to spend time role modeling for them. How shallow is the love that knows little of longsuffering.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

The apostle Paul stated in 1 Corinthians 13:4 that "Love is patient." We have to concede from this truth that if the love we say we have fore our wife, family, and others has little patience, then we do not have the love Paul was talking about. The patience of Christ's love was most revealed amidst the jeering and scoffing at the time of His crucifixion. What patience He displayed while hanging on the cross. It enabled Him to cry out to God His Father to "Forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). Many marriage problems are a result of pseudo love that lacks patience.

Impatience with our children does not convince them of our love. Patient love does not demand immediate change from immaturity to maturity for just as it takes years for a baby to become an adult, so maturity of character takes time. And times requires patience.

The best way for a marriage and family life to develop in all aspects of maturity is for us men, along with our wives, to role model PATIENT love. Some men are more patient with their animals than they are with their wife and children.

Be encouraged to be patient.

Colin Campbell

Fathers, we know that love is a subject of the highest importance. It is most unfortunate that generally speaking love is viewed by much of the church as just a beautiful doctrine to be admired and talked about from time to time. We are most grateful, that despite all our faults and failings, God still loves us. Jesus Christ's death upon the cross on our behalf shows how much God loves us.

It seems to me that the great disconnect with us believers is that while we are so absorbed with Christ's love for us, we fail miserably to role model this same love in our marriage and home where love counts most! Yet, fathers and mothers have this great privilege, right in their own homes, to not only talk about love, but more importantly to role model God's love every day and in every way.

If love is not being role modeled in our own marriage and family, we can forget evangelism and all the outreach programs to the lost and dying world for we are just hypocrites.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Isaiah 9:6 states, "His name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." We men should also seek to be PRINCES OF PEACE. We can only do this because we have Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace dwelling in us.

Being a peacemaker is not easy! It requires much patience. You have to hear both sides of the story and often takes time for hardened hearts to soften. The peacemaker must always keep a humble attitude otherwise he will not gain a listening ear. Sometimes drastic measure have to be taken, but it should always be as a last resort. You can't be a good peacemaker if you are impetuous and rush into making a decision without taking time to think the matter through.

If things have been out of order in your marriage or family life for any length of time, do not expect things to change too quickly. Begin Family Devotions on a daily basis and encourage each family member to pray. This will bring peace to your home but don't be disappointed if it takes time. When you start an exercise program you would be crazy to believe that you will reduce your unwanted weight overnight.

To bring peace to a troubled marriage takes time, work, earnest desire, as well as a teachable and humble spirit. It may cost the peacemaker a lot in order to bring true lasting peace.

Colossians 1:20 tell us that Jesus "made peace through the BLOOD OF HIS CROSS."

If it cost our Savior, the greatest of all peacemakers, His own precious blood in order to bring us into peace with God, should not we men who have found this peace be prepared to sacrifice our time and effort to bring peace to our marriage, home, family, neighbors, and nation?

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Jesus says in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." The world gives false peace. It's often a band aid and has no lasting value. The question we must ask ourselves is: Is the peace I seek His peace or something else?

Role modeling peace is not an inactive thing. Many think that all you have to do to have peace is to be quiet and do nothing. Yet, people can be quiet and still not have peace. If we are anxious, worried and stressed, doing nothing about it will not necessarily bring peace. In order to have peace we usually have to deal with the source of the problem.

If we have a leaking faucet that keeps us awake at night, there is only one thing to do. Fix it! Why is it that we men often procrastinate when dealing with a teenager or child who constantly disturbs the peace in the family home? Negative attitudes and moods must be dealt with by fathers and mothers who seek to role model peace. Our responsibility as parents is to constantly draw our peace from God, through Jesus Christ, and disperse it to our family life first and then into all situations in which we find ourselves.

I believe that true peace is perhaps the most misunderstood virtue in the world. The world wants peace on its own terms. It especially does not want the peace of God that comes through obedience to Jesus Christ. The world does not want Christians bothering them with the claims of Jesus Christ. The world does not want our conservative ways. It does not like our restraining influences.

Even many so-called believers do not feel obligated to pray, read the Scriptures, or even attend church regularly. They want peace on their own terms. But, is peace on our terms the same as peace on God's terms?

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Romans 14:19 says, "Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and the things wherewith one may edify another." Men, we cannot bring about true peace if do not have it reigning in our own hearts. This inner peace is only realized by a close relationship with Christ, who lives in us, the hope of glory (Colossians 1:27). Peace is perhaps one of the greatest aspects of His glory in us. His peace in us is not determined by calm or idyllic circumstances. We can experience this inner peace even in the midst of turmoil for He prepares a table for us even in the midst of our enemies (Psalm 23:5).

The sad thing is that many Christians do not hear Him say, "Come and dine" (John 21:12) for we are too busy doing our own thing and eating at other tables. Because of this negligence of personal and family devotions on a daily basis we starve ourselves of the things that make for our peace.

Luke 19:41-42 says, "And when he was come near, he beheld the city, and wept over it. Saying, If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes." One of American's greatest roles in this world is to seek to be a peacemaker amongst the nations. However, we fail so often for we are fast losing our relationship with the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).

As role models of peace, we must daily dine at the table of the things that make for peace. Righteous living is one of the main ingredients for peace on this great table (Psalm 85:10).

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Matthew 5:9 tells us "Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God." Men, our children need to be role modeled by fathers and mothers who, at all times, try earnestly to be peacemakers. Sad to say, many homes and marriages are being torn down at a very alarming rate by parents who have by default substituted peacemaking for trouble making.

Isaiah 69:8 says, "The way of peace they know not: and there is no judgment in their goings: they have made them crooked paths: whosoever goeth therein shall not know peace." Isaiah, the prophet was not speaking to the heathen but to Israel who were not in right relationship with God. This departure from the Lord resulted in God's people falling away from the virtues that come from a right relationship with God, primarily peace. It is one thing to have no peace on our borders with neighboring or distant countries seeking to attack us. However, it another thing to have no peace within our borders where there is fighting that seeks to stir up racism and violence on our streets, in public schools, and work places.

Teens are leaving home in great numbers earlier than they should because there is no peace in the home. Peacemakers are desperately needed in all areas of our nation, but particularly in the home. Without peace in our homes we are of all people to be pitied. We teach peacemaking by role modeling as parents.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Real men do not appreciate women who try to be men. Nor do they appreciate men who act like women. Real men, who have the right amount of testosterone powering through their veins, appreciate women for their femininity. They appreciate that women have a different role to men.

Feminists have created a war between the sexes in order to conquer manhood by feminizing him. This is because they have-not embraced the uniqueness of their own femininity, or they feel inferior by immature hedonistic bullying men. However, a woman who knows how to model her femininity has a great appeal to true, honest, real men.

Let's be honest. How could a powerful burly charging footballer tackle a woman on the field? This sort of thing would be denounced by the foolish feminists as unfair so the rules of the game would have to change and football would no longer be football.

I believe God wants men to act gently with the opposite sex. A father needs to be gentle with his daughters and act a bit tougher with his growing bigger sons.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Psalm 18:35 says, "Thy gentleness has made me great."

Men, in today's world of body building macho manhood, gentleness is often viewed as feminine. The left wing agenda seeks to feminize men and neutralize man's "go get it" which does much to neuter gender men, equalize the two sexes, and despise the God-given differences. No matter what these so-called modern social scientists say, God made clear and distinct differences between the sexes. Passing laws and making rules to force men into feminine rolls and women into masculine roles is foolishness and destructive because it goes against nature and ultimately goes against God's creation.

I, for one, do not believe that our military or football games are better off with equal numbers of women! The thought of it makes me want to throw up!

Having said this, there is most definitely a place and time for real men to show gentleness especially when relating to the opposite sex (military tactics and flying football tackles don't usually work), tending to the sick or wounded even on the battlefield, holding and caressing babies and small children (it definitely pays to be gentle). Many men are more gentle with animals than they are with their own family or fellow man.

To be continued... Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Men, not only does anger destroy godly role modeling, but it is also one of the biggest contributors to marriage breakdown. Anger that is not kept in check and brought under the control of a strong disciplined mind and spirit is a wrecking ball that smashes down the strongest walls.

I do not believe that any woman should have to put up with this for long. She should encourage her husband to get counseling, as well as deliverance. If this does not happen, she should feel free to separate from her husband until she knows with all her heart that he has received victory and is walking in it. Sometimes it may take a separation to wake up a husband to the fact that he really needs help.

In many cases anger is generational and is passed on from father to son. Often the father will not discipline his son for outbursts of anger because he would feel a hypocrite for not addressing his own need.

Having said these things, there is a place for righteous anger, but it should be as the Scripture, says, without sin. Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be ye angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath." When there is violence, bad language, demeaning and destructing language that is hurtful and demoralizing, there is sin. And role modeling? Well, forget it.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Men, I believe that one of the biggest enemies of godly role modeling our children is anger. Anger is a mood that many men find great difficulty in controlling. This results in much damage to both the psychological and spiritual lives of our wife and children. Uncontrolled anger is a very nasty and devil-inspired evil that is always accompanied by a cloud of darkness. Anger is also a controlling spirit that seeks to drive and push people rather than lead them.

The Holy Spirit leads; the devil drives. It is absolutely wrong for a man to make excuses for uncontrolled anger. Our heavenly Father does get angry at the constant rebellion of His children, but His anger is always in control. Just think of what destruction and devastation God could, with all His power, inflict upon His people if He did not have His anger in control!

It is never right that a wife or children should have to walk around on egg shells in the home, because of fear of upsetting the husband. Shouting, bad language, extreme facial expressions, slamming doors, and pounding of fists on furniture, etc., should not be the testimony of a godly husband and father. These anger expressions reveal an anger which is out of control. This kind of behavior, whether often or occasional, destroys godly role modeling.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Every child we stop from coming into this world, not only deprives the world of that child who has the potential to become a powerful influence for righteousness if brought up in the fear and admonition of the Lord, but also deprives the world of future dynasties.

What would have happened if Abraham had not believed God for Isaac? What would the world have been deprived of if Jacob did not want to receive twelve sons? There would never have been a Bible containing both the Old and New Testaments. The whole of our Judeo biblical roots would be non-existent, including the birth of Christ who came to save us from our sins.

Who do we think we are to play God and decide who should be conceived and born and who should not be born? It would be better for us to remain single if we hold the notion that married couples can use whatever means they want to limit the godly seed. God makes in clear in Malachi 2:15 that He seeks godly offspring from the marriage union. Godly offspring will restrain evil and fill the earth with God's glory (Numbers 14:21).

We men, along with our wives, have the sacred privilege of fulfilling God's plan in our day.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell

Father Abraham was the true example of fatherhood which God looked for. He would be the founder of many generations who would believe in the promises of God. If Abraham had not believed what God promised him in the midst of humanly impossible circumstances (both Abraham and Sarah being very old) how would the birth of Christ, the Savior of the world have come forth?

Jesus Christ was 42 generations from Abraham. Jesus Christ, the Messiah, not only for the Jews, but also the Gentiles, was "the promised seed." He was "the seed" in the loins of father Abraham 42 generations before he was born. Hebrews 7:9-10 also tells us that Levi paid tithes to Melchisedec while was yet in the loins of his father (Abraham)."

If Abraham had not believed God, look what he would have missed out on. God could have found another to take Abraham's place for nothing is impossible to God.

Men, what I am saying is that you do not know what powerful seed may be within your loins that could greatly influence the world for righteousness, perhaps even in SOME FUTURE GENERATION. The pro choice mindset goes much further than abortion. Pro choice encourages contraception and sterilization to cut off and limit the potential godly seed. Pro choice limits future generations for it does not have a generational mindset.

Be encouraged.

Colin Campbell