PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 372: LIVING THE BLISSFUL LIFE, No. 6
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 372: LIVING THE BLISSFUL LIFE, No. 6
Continuing the points about what we should do to release oxytocin and enjoy the "feel good" hormones. God is amazing the way He planned for us to live a blissful life.
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies, the magazine bringing strength and encouragement to families across the world.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Together again, and we’re continuing our series called “Living the Blissful Life.” Well, I hope you're living a blissful life in your home. Maybe you don’t feel like it at the moment. Maybe you think you've got all these problems and everything’s pressing on you.
But as I talk about this blissful life, I’m not just talking about when everything is going great, because I believe that God can enable us to live a blissful life even when things aren’t going well, even when you're facing trials and difficulties. As I’m talking about this now, I’m talking about a hormone, oxytocin.
I was sharing with you how oxytocin is such a wonderful hormone. I think we should try to get as much oxytocin as we possibly can because it’s called the life hormone, the love hormone, the cuddle hormone, the bonding hormone, the endorphin hormone, the trust hormone, and yes, it’s even called the bliss hormone. We are talking about how we can live this blissful life.
Of course, we’re going to look into the Word, and we have been, where God gives us principles. But also, we also have to look at the way God made us. He made us with so many hormones. We have about 50 hormones all going through our bodies. There are about seven particular hormones that are special, wonderful hormones.
One of these is oxytocin. I love that meaning, “the bliss hormone.” I’m giving you ways that we can release oxytocin in our lives, and in our homes, because we have already talked about one of the points, which is LIVING IN A FAMILY. Living in a family also releases oxytocin. Of course, we hope that everyone will enjoy living in a family and it won’t be filled with arguments and strife and tension. That’s not going to give you oxytocin, is it?
Today we are up to . . .
No. 5. TOUCHING, CUDDLING, AND HUGGING
These things release oxytocin. Of course, you get loads of opportunity to release these wonderful things that produce oxytocin when you live in a family, because you have your husband—hopefully you're cuddling him, loving him, and touching him.
And then, you have your precious children. Oh my, if you have a baby in the house, well, there’s so much touching going on. You’re always touching and holding your little baby. Of course, there are toddlers. Sometimes we can get less touching as our children grow older, but this is where we can be reminded to keep on touching them, not just when they’re little babies, but as they’re getting older.
Now, ladies, it’s so interesting. I’m always amazed at the practicality of God’s Word. It’s not airy-fairy, all out in space. It’s right down to where we live in our homes. When we go to Titus 2, we read that passage about the older women teaching the younger women and the things that they have to teach them.
Two of the most important things are, firstly, to love their husbands. It says the older women are to teach the younger women to “love their husbands.” OK, what is the word that God uses for “love” here? Did you know, there are four different words in the Greek language that are used for “love”?
We all know that beautiful word, agape. That’s speaking about God’s love. It’s beyond human love. We all need this kind of love in our marriage, because we’re so human and so prone to making people upset or getting upset ourselves. Sometimes you may not feel as though you love your husband. This is where agape love comes in, so that when our love runs out (our human love runs out) we can clock into God’s love which is His agape love, which loves beyond human love, which loves beyond what is deserving.
What does it say in Romans 5:5: “For the love of God is shed abroad, in our hearts, by the Holy Ghost, who is given unto us.” It’s talking about not just our love, but God’s love dwelling in us, and shedding forth from our lives to love our husbands and love our children. We do need that agape love so that, OK, when your love has run out, you're going to clock into God’s love. It doesn’t matter how you feel. You can still love because you have God’s amazing love dwelling in you.
But ladies, that’s not the Greek word that is used in this passage. There’s another word for love in the Greek language. It’s storge. This is a wonderful word too, but it’s talking about family love, the love of parents for children and children to parents and so on. It’s a wonderful love. It’s a very natural family love that we all have naturally in our love for our parents and our love for our children. Once again, it’s not the word that is used here.
Then there’s another word. The word eros, and that’s talking about sexual love. That is so important in marriage. Only in marriage, of course. But that’s not the love it’s talking about here. So, which one is it talking about?
The last Greek word for “love” is phileo. That is a friendship love. It’s an affectionate love, the love where we want to be affectionate. It’s a friendship love, but we want to show it by touching, and hugging, and cuddling, and so on.
This is the word that God chooses to use here to love our husbands. It’s a down-to-earth kind of love. But it’s very practical. It’s a love where we want to hug our husband. We want to kiss our husband. We want to touch him. That’s what this word means. So, ladies, this is the kind of love . . . He wants you to have all these loves for your husband, but this is the one that’s used here. So, reminding us to be affectionate, to be touching.
It’s very easy, isn’t it? You get busy with children coming into the home. The more children, the busier you get. There are so many things that you're involved in. Life is busy. Somehow, even though you love your husband, you can forget to be touching and caressing and loving him. This Scripture reminds us.
OK, and can I remind you today, ladies? Don’t forget to reach out to your husband, and to touch him. Make sure you kiss him before he leaves. Not just when he leaves, and when he comes back, but throughout the day. Whenever he passes by, give him a hug. Give him a squeeze. When you're riding in the car, do you just sit there, looking out the window? Wow, what a wonderful opportunity to hold his hand, just to touch him, to caress him.
This is what we’re meant to do. As we do this, you know what happens, ladies? We release oxytocin. And oxytocin makes you feel good. Oxytocin makes you want to even love more. We must keep up this habit of touching. The word in the Greek is philandros. It means “to love affectionately your husband.”
And then, what does it also say? That the older women are to teach the younger women to “love their children.” Once again, it’s another phileo word. There are a lot of phileo words in the New Testament. They start with that Greek word phileo, and then they have another word added on. Loving your children is philotekhnos. So, phileo means “to affectionately love,” and tecknon is the word “child.”
It’s using the word here to once again remember to be affectionate to our children, especially as they’re getting older. We’re always loving, and cuddling, and touching, and squeezing our little darling babies, but we must teach that” touching anointing” to our children, because every touch, every hug, every cuddle, releases oxytocin.
When you are all doing this as a family, you've got an oxytocin-filled home. Isn’t that exciting? Because oxytocin is a bliss hormone. So, ladies, seek to get that hormone going in your own life, and then in the lives of your family, and, of course, your husband. Amen?
Maybe I could give you just a few more of these phileo words.
Philandros, to love your husband.
Philotecknos, to love your children.
Then there’s philonexia, that’s to love strangers, and to show hospitality. Once again, it is a reaching out to people. Even when you show hospitality, and you invite people to sit around your table, you're, once again, you're going to be releasing oxytocin, because as your people arrive, you're going to welcome them, and you're going to hug them as they arrive. Of course, when they leave, you’ll be giving them a hug good-bye. Then as you sit around your table you fellowship and that releases oxytocin too. So, philonexia.
There’s another word, philozenos, meaning “given to hospitality, to be a lover of hospitality.”
There are other ones, philanthropos, which means “treating others with courtesy and respect” because each one is created in the divine image of God. It’s translated “courteously” in Acts 27:3.
Then there’s philanthropia. You can know where that comes from, where we get the word “philanthropy,” because that means “kindness, love towards our fellow man, to show philanthropy, beneficence.” That’s also translated “kindness” in Acts 28:2 and Titus 3:4.
Then we have philadelphos. That means “to love those who are good, and those who promote virtue.”
Then there’s philophronos, which means, once again, “kindness, with friendliness.” We read about that in Acts 28:7, where Publius, who was the chief man of the island where Paul was shipwrecked. They were saved by the people on that island. It says that “he received them and lodged them for three days, courteously.” That means it’s a phileo word, “with kindness and friendliness.”
Then there’s philophron, once again meaning “friendly, kind, courteous.” We find this one in 1 Peter 3:8: “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.” This is speaking to the extended family, to our family of believers to whom we belong, so that we will have the same kind of phileo love of blessing, hugging, and touching, and friendliness with the saints.
In fact, we’ve got two phileo words in this Scripture. “Be courteous” is philophron. Then “to love as brothers” is philadelphos. That means “brotherly love.” Some of you may live in Philadelphia. Well, you live in a city which literally means, as you know, “brotherly love.” That’s a nice city to live in, isn’t it? We have all these phileo words, but two of them are addressed specifically to us as wives and mothers.
Of course, then there are some negative ones, where it talks about those who have the love of money, and the love of silver, and the love of pleasure, and even the love of self. Wow! That’s talking about selfishness. That’s the opposite of the phileo love of loving your husband and being affectionate to him and loving your children and being affectionate to them.
This selfish one comes from 2 Timothy 3:1: “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves.” Wow! That is the first on the list of 18 things of people and what they will be like in perilous times in the last days. The very first one is to love yourself, to be selfish. God has that one at the top of the list. We don’t want that one, do we? We want to have these beautiful phileo words for our husband and for our children.
Let’s do lots of touching, ladies. Have you been touching? You know, what about your husband? When he comes near you, do you reach out your hand to touch him, to love him, to squeeze his hand, to give him a kiss, to give him a cuddle? For your children, they just need this so much. But not only are you blessing your husband and your children, you're blessing yourself, because you're going to be filled with oxytocin. Isn’t that wonderful? There we go. That was number five.
Now, the next one . . .
No. 6. EMBRACE CHILDBEARING
Did you know that oxytocin plays a part in childbearing and each baby coming into the world? This hormone is necessary for the continuing of the human race. It’s released during labor, and giving birth, and helps stimulate your contractions. In fact, some of you will know this: if your contractions are not strong, sometimes you have to be given Pitocin. That’s a synthetic form of oxytocin, and it helps you get labor going. The word “oxytocin” actually comes from the Greek word meaning “swift birth.”
Then, of course, there is that most glorious and wonderful and amazing “high” that you get when your baby is born. This happens in a natural childbirth. If you have not birthed naturally, you won’t be able to get that. But after your birth, when you've given birth to your baby, there comes this incredible “high.” Many women call it the “afterglow.” It’s the most amazing thing that you can experience in your life. This afterglow, this incredible feeling that you have after giving birth is so amazing. Oh, wow! It’s one of the most amazing things in life.
We are so blessed as women to give birth. Although we can go through such intense labor in birth (there is nothing more intense in the whole of the world) and yet we are rewarded with this most incredible, intense afterglow afterwards, which is so amazing. God is so wonderful, and so good, isn’t He? He really is.
What’s our next one?
No. 7. BREASTFEED YOUR BABY
We just carry on with this wonderful blissful life of mothering. Number seven is BREASTFEED YOUR BABY because when you are breastfeeding your baby, God gives you these special hormones. Of course, one is oxytocin. The other is prolactin. Both of these hormones are released when you are nursing your baby.
Maybe, if you are a young mother, and you are pregnant, you're wondering about what you will do when your baby is born. Will you breastfeed your baby? Well, I hope that you’ll have no other thought but that. But there are some women who think, “Well, I will bottle feed my baby.” That’s the saddest thing I can ever think about, unless, of course, you have some physical problem, and you're not able to do that.
I do have dear friends who have faced physical problems and haven’t been able to nurse their babies. Yet, they have longed to do so. It’s because we live in this imperfect world and things happen in our bodies. Sometimes we cannot function totally as God intended us to do.
But always choose, darling mothers, to nurse your baby, because you're going to be so blessed. Not only do you bless your baby with the most perfect food that God has created for your baby, but YOU get blessed. YOU GET DOUBLY BLESSED! Oh, goodness me! Not only the joy of nursing your baby, but these hormones! Every time you put your baby to the breast, and the milk lets down, it's oxytocin. It fills you, once again, with that wonderful, amazing feeling. It’s so incredible. You get this relaxing.
In fact, I remember when my girls . . . I used to talk about oxytocin. As they became mothers and experienced it themselves, they began to call it “relaxin.” They forgot it was oxytocin. They called it “relaxin” because that’s what it does when you're nursing your baby. Especially, the more little children you have, the more overwhelming you're feeling. The children are all crying, and everything’s happening at once. You don’t know what to do and the baby’s crying.
“OK, I’ve got to nurse my baby,” so you put the baby to your breast. You sit down, and oh, that beautiful, relaxing feeling comes all over you and you often just go to sleep. Or you feel so sleepy, because its oxytocin relaxing you. Then you can get up and face everything again.
Can you believe how amazing our God is? He doesn’t leave us just, “OK, now I want you to nurse this baby.” No, He gives us hormones. It’s so glorious. Really, the hormone of oxytocin is high when you're nursing your baby.
Prolactin, too. Every time you put the baby to the breast and nurse your baby, prolactin makes you more motherly. It’s a very motherly hormone and a protective hormone. The more you nurse your baby, the more motherly you will become.
There are some people who like to nurse their babies on schedule, and at certain times. OK. Well, if it’s their plan, that’s what they do. But, really, nursing your baby is something that you will do frequently, because a breastfeeding baby (some babies you can manage, maybe, putting them on a certain schedule) but most breastfeeding babies need constant nursing, and not only through the day, but through the night.
Don’t worry. It’s much easier to just sit down, put your feet up, and nurse your baby again. You get so used to nursing that you can nurse your baby while you're doing so many things. You don’t always want to be doing so many things. You also need to sit down and take time with your baby. Put your feet up, and rest yourself, especially with a newborn.
But know that every time you do this, you're getting this motherly hormone. It’s making you more motherly, not only for your baby, but for your other children as well. God is so good. When you have a little baby, and you've got other children, you think, “Well, maybe, how can I show love to all these people in my family?” But what happens is when you have a new baby, and you're breastfeeding again, these hormones are released, and you just fall in love, not only with your baby, but you fall in love again with all your children! That’s how God has designed it. Isn’t it just so amazing?
This hormone prolactin is so protective. You can see examples of this in the animal world. I remember a situation. It’s where we are living now. I had this little wild kitten. Well, I had the mother and the baby. They were outside cats which we had for catching mice. This kitten, yes, she had this litter of kittens. My husband actually doesn’t really like cats around, so he said, “You’ll have to get rid of all these kittens.”
So, I managed to get rid of all the little kittens. You know, stand at Walmart and hope people will take them, and give them to others. Then I had one kitten left. This mother kept on nursing this kitten and it was amazing! Because she was nursing this kitten, and she kept on nursing it, this kitten got sleek and fat. In fact, it looked healthier than the mother!
One day, Pearl . . . This was ages ago, because Pearl had young children then. She said, “Mom, we’re going away for a few days. Would you like to look after our dog?” I said, “That’s fine. Bring it along.” They came, dropped off the dog, and we waved them all good-bye.
And then, it wasn’t long until, I couldn’t believe what was happening! All of a sudden, I heard this screeching, and barking, and hissing! I thought, “What is happening?” There was this little, weak, tiny mother cat. She was just a little, skinny runt of a thing. She was fighting this dog! I thought she was going to kill it! I thought, “What am I going to do? What happened to this crazy, crazy cat?” I managed to separate them and tie up the dog, and then everything was happy again.
OK, so all was fine until the next day. The next day, Serene came to visit with some of her little ones, and she had a new puppy. She brought this little puppy with her, and then, the same thing happened again! Suddenly there was screeching, and hissing, and fighting and barking! I thought, “What happened? Has this kitten got rabies?” Wow! I thought, “I don’t know what we’re going to do.” Serene got up and took the little puppy home. All was quiet once again.
The next day, Serene came again, minus the puppy. While we were sitting, having a cup of tea together outside, I looked over, and I saw this little skinny cat nursing its little kitten. Well, this little kitten seemed to have gotten bigger than the cat. I suddenly remembered! What was wrong with me? Oxytocin! Why didn’t I realize it? This mother cat was full of oxytocin because she was nursing her little baby. She was fighting to the death to protect her little kitten.
Well, when she eventually weaned that kitten, it wasn’t long after that, we had all the dogs in the neighborhood come around, as we do, out here in the country. We’re always getting stray dogs. She didn’t even take any notice of them. She didn’t worry about them at all, because she no longer had oxytocin.
This is the power of this hormone, even in animals. They have done studies in the wild and found that a mother, maybe a mother deer, if she is nursing her young, she will fight to the death any animal that comes near her little young one. But when the baby is weaned, she doesn’t worry at all. Such is power of these hormones.
Oh, another story. Just one more before we close. This happened to the eldest daughter of a very dear friend of mine, actually Val Stares, who is the director of Above Rubies in Australia. Some of you are listening in Australia, so this is about Val. This is about Natalie, her daughter.
Anyway, a tragic thing happened. Natalie’s husband was a stuntman at Dream World in Australia. We lived on the Gold Coast of Australia when we lived there. There’s this great big tourist attraction, Dream World. Her husband was a stuntman there. He was doing a stunt on one of the horses, and had an accident, and hit his head. It was a tragic accident.
Natalie was called up and had to go to the scene. Val went with her. The doctor said these words. He said, “I’m sorry but your husband will not live through the night.” Somehow, God put in Val this incredible gift of faith. She could hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth. She said, “Doctor, he WILL live through the night!”
And the doctor replied, he said, “I’m sorry, ladies. If he does live through the night, he will be a vegetable.” Somehow, this gift of faith rose up in her again, and she said, “Doctor, he WILL live, and he WILL NOT be a vegetable.” She held onto that faith. She got people praying around the world. By this time, they were still in Australia. We were here in America. We were praying here. People were praying all over the world.
But then there were some people who were saying to Natalie, who had just birthed a new baby, they said, “Oh, Natalie, you will have to wean this baby, because you have to go visit your husband in hospital, over an hour away, every day, to be with him.” But Val, of course, being a mother of great wisdom, said, “No, Natalie. No, you must keep nursing your baby, nursing even though it seems so much for you with this little newborn.”
She already had other children. “As you nurse this newborn baby, it will keep you relaxed. It will keep you calm.” So, she encouraged Natalie, and it was the best thing she ever did. Even through that whole trying, trying time, Natalie continued to nurse. It really kept her in a state of calmness.
So, God is good. What is the end of that story? Well, her husband Mark was never able to go back to an employed job. But he has been a wonderful husband, and he has been home with Natalie. They’ve had more children. They’ve had a beautiful family life. He’s helped homeschool the children and God has been good to them.
But anyway, time is gone again. So, we’ll eventually get through all these wonderful things that release oxytocin and other wonderful hormones. Shall we pray?
“Dear Father, we thank You for the way that You have created us. Thank You for the ways you’ve created us as mothers. Oh, Lord God, Your ways are so amazing. Thank You, Lord, for all these glorious hormones you give us to make life so beautiful, and that we can live this blissful life. We thank You for this, Lord God. Thank You that You’ve planned for us to live as families, and that all these wonderful things take place in the family. We thank You.
“Lord, I pray Your blessing upon every wife and mother listening today, every young person, every teenager, even young, little ones. Lord, I release Your blessing of peace upon them. I bless their homes with Your peace and Your rest. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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Transcribed by Darlene Norris
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