True beauty is not showing cleavage. True modesty is not drab and boring. We wear clothes to cover ourselves, but God delights in beauty and color. #modesty #truebeauty #aboverubies
Above Rubies Daily Encouragement Blogs
Like a shepherd of sheep, we as mothers are shepherding the little flock God has given to us. A shepherd must be both tough and tender. He must brave and courageous as he protects his sheep from wild animals and enemies, but also tender as he personally cares for them.
As mothers, we must also walk in these two different roles. We equate motherhood with tenderness. A tender and nurturing mother is a beautiful testimony of God’s loving and nurturing heart. Every emotion and intuition of mothering comes from God Himself.
However, we must also be strong and brave to rescue our children from all attacks of the enemy. I think of David, who when a bear or a lion would grab one of his little lambs, he would strike down the animal and rescue the lamb out of its mouth! And if the lion or bear reared its head against him, he'd grab it by the throat and beat it to death! (1 Samuel 17:34-37). That's bravery! Nothing would get one of his little lambs!
What about us? The devil is intent on seducing and infiltrating the minds of our precious young children with humanism, feminism, socialism, and every other "ism" (and now the influence of the homosexual agenda) in our state schools. Are we happy for our children to be ravished in the mouth of the lion? Or, are we fearless and daring enough to rescue our lambs out of their deceiving and destructive mouth?
Let’s be tender mothers, but also strong and brave to protect our children from the enemy’s tactics.
Blessings to you today,
Nancy Campbell
Painting: “Reading with Children” by Jessie Wilcox Smith.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you and your precious family today. May you be filled with thankfulness, today, and every day of the year.
Some good Scriptures to read today are Colossians 2.7 and 1 Thessalonians 5:18. And say out loud, “I am thankful today. ”Thank God for specific things for which you are thankful. Here are some things for which I am grateful.
T I thank God for TEACHING me His ways.
H I thank God for giving me my HUSBAND. Marriage becomes more and more beautiful with time.
A I thank God for ANOINTING me to be a mother. Is there any greater blessing, apart from our salvation than to enjoy the blessings of children and grandchildren?
N I thank God for creating me to be a NURTURER and NOURISHER to my family and to others.
K I thank God for His KINDNESS to me.
F I thank God for my FAMILY and His daily FAITHFULNESS to me.
U I thank God for giving me UNDERSTANDING of His truth. My greatest delight is to receive revelation of God’s truth from His living Word.
L I thank God for LOVING me enough to die for me and shed His precious blood for my sins. I don’t like to get a day go by without thanking Him for His great and unspeakable and eternal salvation.
Today, let’s take positive action to thank God for each little and big blessing in our lives. Amen.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a wonderful time of the year for thankfulness and familyness. I am sure you’ll all take time to think of things you are thankful when you sit together for your Thanksgiving meal tomorrow. At the end of our Thanksgiving meal we have toasts. People get up and give a toast to someone they are thankful for in their life—people sitting with us, some who are not able to be with us, and others who have passed on and yet we want to remember with thankfulness the impact they have had upon our lives. This is always a very favorite part of our Thanksgiving meal.
Thanksgiving is one of the wonderful “ness” words that should be part of our daily family life. Our “familyness” life. The following are some of the “ness” attitudes that should fill our home and also describe who we are as a wife and mother. Read them over and let God speak to you.
You may like to print them out in bigger type and pin it on your wall for Thankskgiving. You may like to print it out and take one word for each day for the next month or so and discuss them with your children. Most of all, make them your family experience rather than just words!
Blessedness
Cheerfulness
Cleanliness
Courteousness
Faithfulness
Fairness
Forgiveness
Generousness
Gentleness
Godliness
Goodness
Graciousness
Gratefulness
Happiness
Healthiness
Helpfulness
Holiness
Hopefulness
Hospitableness
Joyfulness
Kindness
Loveliness
Meekness
Maternalness
Motherliness
Oneness
Peacefulness
Politeness
Positiveness
Prayerfulness
Pureness
Richness in soul and spirit
Righteousness
Softness
Submissiveness
Sweetness
Teachableness
Tenderness
Thankfulness
Togetherness
Thriftiness
Truthfulness
Virtuousness, and
Wholeness.
This sounds like a blessed marriage and family life, doesn't it?
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
Photography by Erin Harrison
Are you content in your home? Are you content in your soul? I think it starts in our soul, don’t you? If we don’t have rest and contentment in our soul, how will we have it in our home?
But we must ask another question. How can we experience contentment? Is it dependent upon our feelings? No. “A thousand times No,” as my husband says. (It’s one of his favorite sayings regarding things that are wrong!). And when it comes to something that is right, he says, “Yes, a million times Yes!”
I believe everything begins with our will. I notice in Exodus 2:21 that “Moses was CONTENT TO DWELL with the man.” This man was Reuel, the priest of Midian who lived out in the desert. Wow, this was the opposite of the life he had known--one of luxury, servants waiting upon him, and the best this world could offer.
The word “content” in this Scripture is “ya’al” and means “to be willing, to make up one’s mind, to be determined, to resolve.” Now, that’s interesting, isn’t it? His contentment was not because it was a beautiful situation, one of ease and comfort, and just what he had been looking for years!
Instead, Moses had to determine in his heart that he would be content in this situation. He had to make up his mind to do it.
I believe we must apply the same resolve in our lives. It is God’s plan to give us a home to dwell in. It is God’s plan to raise the children He gives us in a home. It is God’s plan to make a dwelling place, firstly for God, and then for our husband and children.
Many times, mothers are not content because they think of other things they could be doing outside the home. They spent years educating themselves for a certain degree and life vocation, and instead, they are mothering in the home! What went wrong?
We must come to that place in our mind where we know we are in the will of God. This is God’s plan for our lives. And therefore, because it is His plan, we forget feelings. We forget imagining another life outside the home. We cast aside all self-pity, grumbling, and groaning.
We make up our mind and determine to be content. We resolve to be content. And as we do, we find contentment. Everything in life is how you think in your mind and your attitude to your situation.
May you be blessed with a contented spirit today. There’s nothing like contentment to bring peace and calm to your soul. It’s great for your health. It’s great for the atmosphere of your home. It’s great for the blessing of everyone around you.
Be blessed,
Nancy Campbell
Painting by James Sant
Like me, I am sure you are preparing for Thanksgiving this week. It’s one of my favorite family celebration days. We have so many great traditions and it’s an all-day affair.
However, thanksgiving should not only be for a special day, but our lifestyle. It’s the lifestyle of God’s kingdom. Colossians 2:7 says: “Rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, and ABOUNDING therein with thanksgiving.” Have you noticed that the Bible contains extravagant language?
Our God is an extravagant God. He writes extravagant words. Nothing in the Bible is normal. John 10:10 tells us that Jesus not only came to give us life, but ABUNDANT life. He not only gives us peace, but peace that PASSES UNDERSTANDING (Philippians 4:7). He not only gives us joy, but joy that is UNSPEAKABLE AND FULL OF GLORY (1 Peter 1:8).
Now we read that we are not only to be thankful, but to be ABOUNDING in thanksgiving. Some translations say: “OVERFLOWING in gratitude.”
What does it mean to abound? When we look into the original Greek we find even more extravagant adjectives. The word abound is “perisseuo” meaning “to superabound, to be excessive, abundant, exceed, over and above.” The Bible uses the same word in John chapter six where Jesus fed the five thousand men, plus others.
Jesus not only fed the people, but fed them to overflowing. When they were all “filled,” Jesus asked them to gather all that was left over and they filled up twelve baskets full that “remained OVER AND ABOVE (perisseuo)” that which they had eaten.
I believe that we need to come into the TWELVE BASKETS FULL attitude about thanksgiving, don’t you? We all say, “thank you” when someone gives us something or does something for us, but I believe we need to go “over and above” this normality.
How many baskets full do you have over? Perhaps one basket full? You may get excessive sometimes. But not too much. You don’t want people to think are “over the top.” Hey, that’s what you are meant to be! You are never meant to be average, normal, or boring. Especially when it comes to being thankful.
What about two baskets full over? How many times do you thank your husband each day? Do you thank him profusely for even the little things he does for you? Or do you take him for granted? Do you thank your children when they do their chores, or just take them for granted too?
What about three baskets full over and above? Appreciation and gratitude pour from your heart. You don’t have an entitlement mentality. You and I both know that we don’t deserve anything, and therefore we are grateful for every little blessing in life.
What about four baskets full over and above? How our hearts should be filled with thankfulness to God for all His blessings, especially for His great salvation. I cannot refrain from thanking Him every day for His sacrifice upon the cross for me. Our hearts should well up with thankfulness continually through the day for all the wonderful blessings God pours upon us. Often, we don’t see them because of our attitude of ingratitude. That’s why we’ve got to push into the OVER AND ABOVE TWELVE BASKETS FULL ATTITUDE.
What about five baskets full over and above? Are you becoming excessive? Is it becoming normal for you to say, “Thank you soooooo much.” And so, we could go on.
The TWELVE BASKETS FULL attitude can revolutionize your marriage.
The TWELVE BASKETS FULL attitude can revolutionize your family life. Just imagine everyone in the home with this mentality. Outdoing one another with thankfulness. What bliss to live in an environment of thankfulness, blessing, appreciation, and gratitude. It changes everything.
THE OVER AND ABOVE TWELVE BASKETS FULL attitude can change the lives of everyone we meet, and ultimately society.
Start it in your home today.
Love from Nancy Campbell
What is the atmosphere like in your home? Is it filled with bickering, arguments, criticisms, and complaining? Or is it filled with the sweet presence of Christ? God wants us to live in an atmosphere of His sweet presence, just as He wanted His priests to live in the aroma of a sweet anointing in the tabernacle all through the day and night. The recipe for the incense in the holy place was to be made of sweet spices that were to be tempered until they were pure and holy (Exodus 30:34-38).
2 Corinthians 2:14 (WEB) says that Christ "reveals through us the sweet aroma of his knowledge in every place." Did you notice that it says: "IN EVERY PLACE"? That means in your home. That means in your kitchen. That means when the baby is crying, the toddler is having a fit, the pots are boiling over on the stove, and your husband is demanding your attention!
It doesn't matter what is happening in your life, Christ lives in you and His attitude is SWEET! Therefore, when you yield to His Spirit, you will be sweet! You can't do it in your own strength, but only as you acknowledge His sweet presence in you.
I love J. B. Phillips' translation: "Thanks be unto God who leads us, wherever we are, on his own triumphant way and makes our knowledge of him spread through the world like a lovely perfume! We Christians have the unmistakable 'scent' of Christ."
Unmistakable! Wow! Do your children smell the sweet perfume of Christ on you? Do people instantly recognize Christ's scent when they are with you? Can they notice it about me? That’s a challenge to us, isn’t it?
Fill your home with sweetness today,
Nancy Campbell
Painting: “Baby's Bath Time” by Arthur John Elsley (British, 1861-1952).
I recently read that 47 percent of Christian women do not believe we should put emphasis on the roles of marriage and motherhood. I beg your pardon? What has happened to our Christian society that they no longer think like the Bible? In the first three chapters of Genesis God establishes His plan for mankind which includes both marriage and motherhood. And He continues the theme from Genesis to Revelation.
Marriage and family are the first institutions God ordained, before church and before government.
We know that all women will not marry, but some of the greatest examples of mothers in our world are women who never married or bore children. We immediately think of Mother Theresa, Corrie Ten Boom, Gladys Aylward, Mary Slessor, Amy Carmichael and the list goes on--women who embraced their motherly anointing. They poured out their lives to nurture and mother the hurting and needy and in turn were totally fulfilled women.
God only made two species of humankind--male and female. He didn't make two Adams to both do the same job. That would have been superfluous. He created male and female, each with a different assignment, but they both fit together perfectly.
If we are female, we should seek to embrace our femaleness. To do anything else is a waste of our life. The more we reveal our "femaleness" and our motherly anointing, the more we give glory to God our Creator.
Let's be fully who God created us to be.
Be blessed today,
Nancy Campbell
Painting: American artist, Elisabeth Nourse, 1860-1938.
Do you remember when the disciples asked Jesus who would be the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven? Jesus responded by bringing a little child into their midst and said to them, "Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me" (Matthew 18:1-6). Read also Mark 9:36-37 and Luke 9:48.
These words, spoken from the mouth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, tell us that our attitude toward receiving children reveals our attitude to Jesus. We are to receive a new baby into our home as though we were receiving Jesus Himself?
It seems strange, doesn't it, that many couples want to receive Jesus, but would rather not accept a baby from Him. We are not meant to receive children with the attitude, "Well, I guess we'll survive somehow if God gives us another baby."
The Greek word for "receive" is "dechomai" and means, "to accept a gift deliberately and readily, to welcome, to embrace, make one's own, not to reject." This word is used 55 times in the New Testament.
One of the occasions is how Jesus Christ was received into the heavens after He left earth (Acts 3:21). With what joy and fanfare, He must have been welcomed back into His heavenly home (Psalm 24:7-10). This is the same way God wants us to receive the children He gives us, planned and purposed before the foundation of the world.
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Be blessed and encouraged today,
Nancy Campbell
Painting: “The Kiss” by Nicolas Tarkhoff.
What possibilities lie in the newborn babe! He is like a ship sailing out into the sea of life. There will be calm sailing, but also adventures and storms along the way. As parents, we teach him to know and trust his Captain, and to understand the ways of the sea.
The newborn is like a little plant waiting to be nurtured, watered with prayer and God's Word, and filled with big doses of encouragement in order for him to grow into a mighty oak that will bring shelter and blessing to many people. Psalm 128 gives the description of our children like young olive plants around our table, growing up to be strong and durable olive trees.
The newborn is like an unwritten book. God has the story already written, but He waits for the child to write on the blank pages (Psalm 139:16). With much prayer, godly wisdom, and teaching, the parents guide him as he writes the story.
The new baby is like a precious jewel, waiting to be cut and polished so he will shine more and more brightly as he walks in this world. He will not only shine in this world, but Daniel 12:3 tells us that those who turn many to righteousness will shine “as the stars forever and ever.”
Every new life is another revelation of the image of God in this world. Each new life comes with the potential to shed God’s light into the darkness and destroy the works of the enemy. The child is not a life to itself. He will influence everyone he meets. Many more lives will be born as future dynasties come forth from this one child and shape generations to come.
And each newborn child who comes into the world is an eternal soul who will liver for ever and ever and ever.
No wonder the devil hates new life!
Let’s be those who are in awe of life.
Nancy Campbell
Did you know this is a Bible verse? Rushing about doesn’t accomplish a lot. Slow down mother. Take time to read stories to your children. Take time to talk to your older children. Simplify your life. Give time for God to speak to you. Eternal matters are more important than earthly matters. #slowdown #liveforeternity #readstoriestogether #aboverubies
Be encouraged today mother. You are in the perfect will of God as you mother your children. God exalts motherhood over every other career in the nation (Ezekiel 19:10, 11).
I wonder what you have planned for your family meal table tonight? Always be thinking of ways you can bless and encourage your husband and children. Every now and then it's a nice idea to get your children to write a card to their father with all the great things they love about him. They can also draw a picture to make it special. If you have little ones who cannot write yet, get them to draw a picture for Daddy. You can then put them by his plate when he comes to the evening meal. During the meal he can read them aloud. The children will be excited, and your husband will be blessed.
Every now and then I love to make place cards for each member of the family. This is a lovely way to encourage your husband and children. I keep colored cardboard and paper on hand for this task. I type the name and comment on the computer, print it off on colored paper and then paste it on a folded cardboard that can stand on its own when folded in half. There are lots of ways you can do this:
Encouraging Phrases
Type or write their name and underneath their name write an encouraging phrase that starts with the first letter of their name. Here's some examples that I have used with my children and grandchildren.
OLIVER
Obedient Son
ROCKLYN
Resolute for God
Rhyming Couplets
Type, or write their name and underneath write a rhyming couplet. It doesn’t take too long to think of these and they will really bless your family. Here are some examples I have written for the grandchildren over the years. As you can see, they are very simple rhymes.
BOWEN
A very fine boy who can read so well,
We all think that you are real swell!
HARRY
The boy with the beautiful, big blue eyes,
There’s no doubt about it, he’ll take the prize!
RASHIDA
Industriously planning ways to make money,
But no matter how busy, she always looks sunny!
And some for our grown children, one of the many I have written for her!
EVANGELINE
Wild and outrageous, but she is a true sage,
The best researcher on curriculums for any age!
And don’t forget your husband. I have written many for Colin over the years, e.g.
COLIN
He has a great big, kind, and loving heart,
He likes things big and he likes them smart!
COLIN
Are there any faithful left in the land?
Yes, he is one of God’s mighty band!
Four-Liners
Can you think of four rhyming lines? There is something about rhymes that helps your children to remember. You will also remember them and can recite them to your child when you are sitting with them or riding in the car. For example:
MEADOW
A beautiful girl who is a delight to the eyes,
From the hand of the Lord she is a special prize!
With her long golden curls and her soft white skin,
She radiates loveliness which comes from within!
Limericks
These will take a little more thought to write, but worth it for a special occasion. These are Name Places your children will keep as memories. Here's some I wrote for my three daughters many years ago . . .
EVANGELINE
There’s a lady with flowing red hair
Who always makes everyone stare!
She is so outrageous
And even dangerous
This girl with the flowing red hair!
SERENE
There’s a song floating up from the stairs,
Its melody takes away cares,
It brightens the day,
We want it to stay,
Serene’s song floating up from the stairs!
PEARL
I saw a wonderful and happy sight,
It was like a bird that is taking flight,
A mother skipping,
Her feet a-tripping,
A mother happy and filled with delight!
The Meaning of their Name
ZADOK
Leading many to righteousness
RASHIDA LA'EL
Pointed in the right direction toward God
Thank You
Sometimes you may like to write a “Thank You” underneath their name, some character trait for which you are thankful or for something they have done for you, e.g.
MERCY
Thank you for the privilege of being your mother!
JOHN
Thank you for watering my garden every night!
COLIN
Thank you for being my faithful and loving husband!
Trust these examples will be of some inspiration to you in your family.
Love from Nancy Campbell
We talked yesterday about making every meal a love affair. This won’t just happen. You need to take time to think about your family meal table. Think about creative things you can do to bless the children. When raising our children, I tried to do something different at the meal table at least one night a week. One of the things the children loved was COLOR NIGHTS. For example, I would choose a color and put up a notice:
“Tonight is RED Night
No admittance unless wearing something Red.
Supper at 6.00 p.m. Please knock before entering.”
While they rummaged through drawers to find red clothes (children love to dress up), I set the table with a red tablecloth, adding red candles, napkins, and centerpiece (red flowers if I could find them).
I prepared red foods. There are plenty of foods from which to choose, e.g. beets, radishes, red beans, red hot dogs with tomato sauce, tomato soup, potatoes or rice colored with red food coloring, etc. For dessert you can choose red fruits such as pomegranates (when in season), blood oranges, cherries, strawberries, watermelon, or red grapes, etc.
You can also purchase red paper plates and knives and forks, etc. I would often wrap a little gift (something inexpensive) in red paper and put it beside their plate. The children loved these nights and over the years we tried every color of the rainbow!
I’ll share with you some more ideas in the coming days.
Have fun with your family,
Nancy Campbell
P.S. I’d also love to hear from you about two things:
1) Different and creative ideas you like to do or have done at your family meal table.
2) Testimonies from mothers with older children who are now reaping the blessings of trained children who are such a help in the home.
Dear Ladies, I am continuing to add a few comments from the post below, CHAOS OR ORDER?
Because of disorder at the table, one lady mentioned the adage: “Children should be seen and not heard” I don’t agree with this statement. I believe the table is place for not only eating, but fellowship. Food and fellowship go together. They are TWINS.
Of course, as I have been sharing, we don’t allow children to talk over the top of one another, or to have separate conversations with each other at the table. Fellowship is for building up one another. Therefore, each one takes a turn. We train our children to do what is right and what is etiquette. When they learn the right way at the table, they understand how to act in other situations.
Even in the church situation 1 Corinthians 14:31 says: “For ye may all prophecy ONE BY ONE, that all may learn, and all may be comforted.” Do you notice the words ONE BY ONE? It is chaos when everyone talks at once. But we are all blessed and encouraged when each one takes their turn.
Other women mentioned that husbands should help more! We all want our husbands to help more, don’t we? But we need to remember that God has given us the task of managing our home. It’s not our husband’s obligation. His responsibility to is to work hard to provide and protect the home. Of course, it is lovely when the husband helps with the dishes, especially when there are young children.
However, when there are older children in the home, they should be trained to take the responsibility to clear the table, do the dishes, and clean the kitchen. If we are not training them, we are not doing our job. The husband who has been working hard all day should not have to do this. But if he does, please be grateful to him and thank him. Don’t take it for granted.
You are the Queen of your home. You are not expected to do every job in the home. You train and delegate. Every child can do something, even the little ones. In homes where there are older trained children the mothers should be reaping their reward of years of mothering. They should be able to sit and relax while their children clean up.
And one more thing. Can I please encourage you, dear wives and mothers, to change your confession? Many wrote that they dislike the family table because of the rabble and confusion that goes on. But this is opposite to God’s plan. God wants to come and join you at your table. He wants to bring His presence to your table. He wants it to be a place of joy, laughter, harmony, and blessing one another.
You can begin to make this happen as you change your confession. Begin confessing that you LOVE MEAL TIMES WITH YOUR FAMILY! What you confess will come to pass. Instead of thinking of preparing a meal as another chore, look upon it as sacred task. My goal is TO MAKE EVERY MEAL A LOVE AFFAIR!
That’s what I think about when you start preparing a meal. Think of how you make your meal a love affair to bless their physical bodies. You think of how you can make your table a love affair as you talk and fellowship together. You think of the greatest joy at the end of the meal when you open the Bible to feed the spirit and pray together.
Start thinking NOW about what you are going to do at your meal table this evening.
Love from Nancy Campbell
Dear mother. God is behind you all the way. He goes before you. And best of all, He is with you every moment! #powerofmotherhood #godiswithyou #aboverubies
We continue talking about the family meal table. One mother wrote: “I spend most of my meal correcting and giving reminders of appropriate manners/behavior.” Yes, I agree that this is part of training at the meal table. Necessary training. However, when we engage them in conversation and discuss topics together, the children become more involved and forget about doing all their antics at the table.
Another mother of teenagers down to a two-year-old wrote: “Getting everyone to help is hard and frustrating.” This shouldn’t be the case when you have older children. They should be trained by now! The teenagers should know how to run the home, including cooking the meal and cleaning up. If they are not capable of doing this, what have we been doing all their lives? Even little children can learn how to help with the meal, set the table, clean up, and help with dishes. Each one should have their own job.
You start training them when they are little. You expect obedience. You don’t allow them to get away with doing their own thing when there is a job to be done. If you let them get away with it when they are little, they will never get in the habit.
It’s a good idea to work out a timetable for the evening meal and other jobs in the home each week. Decide the task of each child and put it up on the fridge or somewhere and each child is responsible for their chore. Your job is to make sure they do it. But it shouldn’t have to be cajoling and reminding. No. Get excited. Do you part and encourage everyone to be excited about doing their part as you all work together! Work is fun! Work is great. It’s family time! You are all doing it together.
I remember when our granddaughter, Rashida was younger. She is now a mother of two precious little girls. Every year my father came to visit us from New Zealand (he has since passed away). Each year Rashida would a cook a special meal for her beloved great-granddad.
She was only seven years old when she prepared this feast—roast turkey with coos coos stuffing (including sundried tomatoes, cashews, pine nuts, figs, and raisins); marinated grape leaves stuffed with lebani, placed in a bowl with figs, dates, and black and green olives; mashed potatoes and gravy; salad with homemade dressings (almondaise and Green Greek dressing) and tamarind date chutney. Yes, she made dessert too--ginger steamed pudding and raw nut balls!
From that age Rashida was in charge of the kitchen for their family. I think your seven-year-old can at least help with dishes!
Another mother wrote: “I am always left drowning in dishes while everyone scatters afterwards.” This should never happen. All children should be trained to clean up the table and do the dishes. No one in the family should ever leave the kitchen until everything is cleaned and finished. It is all part of the family meal time. It doesn’t finish until dishes are completed. No one escapes! Or look out!
Be encouraged dear mothers. Can I say it again, you create your world. You can have what you want. You train. You make it happen.
Love to you today,
Nancy Campbell
Painting by Jessie Willcox Smith
Dear Ladies, Today I would like to address comments from my last post, CHAOS OR ORDER AT THE TABLE. Scroll down and read it if you haven’t already.
I was sad to read that many do not enjoy mealtimes with their families. They feel they are chaotic and everyone talks over the top of one another.
One mother of teenagers down to little ones writes: “The children have weird conversations with each other and my husband I often just tune it out.” And there were similar comments. Dear mothers, can I remind you that you and your husband decide what happens at your table. Not the children! We as parents create the world we want in our home. We create the atmosphere. We determine what happens at the family meal table.
When I prepare the food for our evening meal, I not only think about food for the body, but food for the soul. I find it is just as important to meditate about what we will speak about at the table as prepare the meal. I find that if my husband and I do not bring a question or a subject to discuss to the table the conversation goes nowhere. It’s usually about nothing. Or small talk that is a waste of time. It seems futile. Is that what you find at your table?
You can change that! Come to the table prepared with a subject to talk about. Of course, this will depend on the season and ages of your children. If you have little children, bring a very simple question such as “What was the best thing you did today?” Encourage each child to share and then Daddy and Mommy must also talk about the best thing that happened to them. It’s for the whole family.
As your children get older you can bring subjects to the table to discuss—fun topics, political, geographical, spiritual, or biblical. Here’s one that our children loved when growing up. We often asked this question as they never tired of it: “If you were given a million dollars, what would you do with it?” Or, “If you had all the money in the world and you could go to any country in the world, which country would you choose and why?”
Get every child to have their turn, including mother and father. No one is exempt. No one is left out. Even in the midst of a large corporate family, each child receives their own personal attention. When each child has their turn, they are the center of attention, from mother and father and the rest of the family. They hold the floor!
Also, in this way, no one talks over the top of one another. Each one has their turn. Oh yes, they may try to do this, but both you and your husband will curb this and keep order. You are in charge, not them!
Sometimes when we would bring a controversial subject to the table, the children would all try to have their say at once, sometimes getting up on their chair to get their point across. We birthed loud and opinionated children who became more opinionated the older they got! However, we still didn’t allow them to take over. We allowed them to freely express their opinions, which we loved them to do, but they had to have turns! My husband was always the umpire!
Here’s another important thing to remember at your table. My husband and I have never allowed personal conversations with other members of the family at the table. The table is for togetherness. When one member speaks at the table, it is for the whole family to hear. It is time for family communication, not personal conversation which they can have at any time. Therefore, apart from asking someone to pass something to them on the table, all conversations are for everyone to hear. Sometimes we have people come to our table who will begin to whisper or talk to the person next to them. It grieves me when this happens, and I realize they haven’t been taught true table manners. Establish this rule in your family. It will save chaos at your table and you will train your children how to act when they sit at other’s people’s tables.
I will give you a couple of links of questions you can ask the children at your table. I keep a copy of these lists above my fridge. Sometimes when I am tired and cannot think of something new, I will refer to them, so we always have something to bring to the table to keep the conversation spicy and encourage heart and soul communication.
http://aboverubies.org/…/797-family-meal-table-dinner-time-…
http://aboverubies.org/…/798-family-meal-table-presidential…
This is what the table is all about—communication and fellowship. That’s why we sit around a table, so we can look a one another’s faces. Food releases the wonderful stress-relieving hormone of oxytocin when you eat with others in a relaxed atmosphere. It doesn’t do you any good when you eat on your own or while looking at the back of someone’s head in the car! Do it the Bible way—sitting around the table (Psalm 128:3).
I will address other remarks tomorrow.
Be blessed at your table today,
Nancy Campbell
Painting: “Glory of Evening” by Thomas Kinkade. God intends the evening meal to be a time of glory in your home, a time when you all enjoy one another and where God comes to join your table with His presence.
What’s the atmosphere like in your home? What’s it like at meal times? Do you gather together around your table? Talk and fellowship together? Open God’s Word and pray together? Do you do dishes and clean up the kitchen together? Or is Mom left with the mess and everyone goes their merry way?
I am aware than in many homes family meal times don’t happen together. Even if they do, mother is left doing dishes while children run off to do their own thing. You can’t run a home this way. Family life is togetherness. Family life means that everyone pulls their weight.
Dear mother, you are the one to make this happen. You don’t allow everyone to do their own thing. You gather the family together. You make the table and your meal so attractive and inviting that they’ll want to come to the table.
You’ll think of subjects to discuss with your children at the table rather than sitting there with small talk that doesn’t interest anyone. And of course, you’ll never allow iPhones at the table! Have a basket where they drop them in as they come to the table. The table is the place to communicate together as a family. To look at one another face to face.
Why am I talking about the family table again? Because it is a gathering place for the family. God planned it. The Bible picture of a family that that lives in God’s blessing is a family with the children all sitting around the table (Psalm 128:3). God loves the table because it is a place of communication. He wants to join you at your table. He wants to speak to you all as you open His Word at the end of the meal.
Dear mother, can I encourage you to make family times happen in your home? Don’t let your family dissipate into their own world and the world of social media while your family fragments away.
When you plan and make things happen, it brings order. It establishes peace and harmony and drives out chaos.
Satan does not want family togetherness. He is intent on scattering the family in every direction. You must fight against every hindrance. You must push through and make it happen. But what blessed things will happen when you do.
When we get order and peace in family homes, we will begin to get order and peace in the nation.
I bless your home today in the name of Jesus.
Love from Nancy Campbell
P.S. Do you need help? Do you need specific ideas on what to do? Feel free to ask questions and we can answer them together.
Dear ladies, here is a poem by Val Halloran which I know will bless you.
TEACHING MY CHILDREN
While sitting in the house
Or walking by the way,
My children need to learn Your Word
At night and through the day.
Their sports and school won't matter
If they don't live for You.
If nothing else gets done today,
I'll turn their eyes to You.
The enemy is lurking
To steal our time away;
Doing nice, but fleeting things
That soon will fade away.
Even in these mundane times,
Help me teach them how to find
A way to see that all they do
Will only count if done for You.
The moments, months, and years fly by
Until each child will say goodbye.
I dare not waste these times to show
What really matters as they grow.
Oh Lord, please point their eyes to You
And help me teach them of Your truth.
More than any other thing
Let lives be lived for You, O King.
I know I only have this day
To teach and guide them in Your way.
So, help me with the time You give
To show them how to really live,
Not chasing vain and worldly lusts,
But learning how to seek and trust
Their only Savior, Lord, and King,
For in You is their everything.
C 2010, Val Halloran
www.valhalloran.com
Val and her husband have eight children, five of whom are married. No. #26 grandchild is due in March or April, 2018.
Painting: “The reading lesson” by Léon Augustin Lhermitte.