WORKING ON MY MARRIAGE

(A young wife shares her heart).

 

I recently came to a point in my marriage with two years and two children after first saying “I do.” I realized I had completely lost sight of my purpose as a wife. Very early on I became so wrapped up in being a mother and feeling sorry for all that I alone had to suffer to bear children that I ignored who God commanded me to be as a wife.

 

I gave myself a free pass to make our marriage all about me, and as a result I became a volatile, unpleasant person whenever my husband did not meet all of my needs (which was very often!). I constantly lied to myself to justify my behavior that I was the victim, that I deserved better than I had because I was the one who had to stay up all night with the baby, give birth, and endure pregnancy.

 

As much as I knew deep down that yelling at my husband or making him do many of my tasks wasn’t right, I didn’t fully realize how far I had drifted from being a godly wife until I was confronted with 1 Peter 3. The whole chapter condemned me at every turn, like a mirror, showing me how truly ugly in God‘s sight I had become. But something really shifted in my heart when I re-read verse 6: “Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.”

 

How different would it be if I treated my husband as my lord? I certainly wouldn’t raise my voice at him. I would never berate him for not serving me well enough. I wouldn’t tear him down with my words and only ever greet him with disapproval. I wouldn’t make him do my chores around the house as soon as he came home from a long day of work.

 

Instead, I would seek with all humility to serve him and meet his needs. I would try to make life easier and more enjoyable for him. I would speak words to build him up in love and wisdom. I would diligently pray for him and encourage him in his role as spiritual leader of the family!

 

I do want to be a daughter of Sarah and to be very precious in God‘s sight. Although I know that sin will still rear its ugly head at every opportunity, I will fight each day to trust in God’s promises and obey my husband, in my heart reverencing him as I call him lord with everything I do and say.

 

Truthfully, I can’t tell you that I have won that battle yet, as it is a sinful pattern of thinking and behavior that I have been indulging in for such a long time. However, moment by moment, interaction by interaction, I get the opportunity to choose either to be a slave to my passions or to righteousness. Many times I fail in this and say a mean word to my husband or lash out at him by habit. But then get the chance to correct myself, apologize, and repent.

 

My husband has been undeservedly kind to me in the midst of it all and we are striving together to restore our marriage to God‘s original purpose. In recognizing the poisonous cycle of me not feeling served and being unkind to my husband and then him in return not wishing to go out of his way to show me special kindness, we are able to proactively seek to show love to one another because Christ first loved us when we were yet sinners.

 

SYDNEY LE MAHIEU

 

Saltville, Virginia, USA

Noah and Sydney‘s blessings are Rockwell (1.5), and Hildegard (4 months).