Above Rubies Daily Encouragement Blogs
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THE WONDER OF IT ALL
I know you will be blessed by this beautiful testimony of marriage from Laura Dill.
THE WONDER OF IT ALL
Delighting in God’s Glorious Gift of Marriage
A million reasons flood my mind every morning as I look through my large open window toward a beautiful landscape of magnificent mountaintops and forest trees, rose bushes and wildflowers. There is so much beauty, so much to bask in. Yes, everything is enchanting to me. Not only outside my window but in everything that makes up life.
I awe in the wonder of prayer (how we have access to Almighty God!), the wonder of His Word (God speaks to us!), the wonder of the gospel (Christ really did that for me!), the wonder of being created at all, of the universe, of nature, biology, mathematics, literature, history, even geology (yes, the study of rocks fascinates me!) The wonder of the covenant of marriage and child- bearing—tiny humans growing inside a mother’s womb. There is beauty in it all if only we have eyes to see.
But we have grown dull. Surrounded by so much noise and technology and fast-paced distractions, we have lost the wondrous ability to see the enchanted wonder in the reality of life that is all around us—the very story that we are a part of. But I would like to narrow in on the glorious covenant of marriage.
It doesn’t take much to look out into society and see that something that was created with such intentional beauty and divine purpose has been sadly corrupted and decayed into something self-centered and misplaced. What was meant for mutual sanctification and supreme love and joy has turned into tragic frustration, bitterness, heartache, and far too often, divorce.
What has happened? How has something so beautiful—meant to reflect Christ and His church—turned into something so messy, frustrating, and if nothing else, dull? There are many contributing factors, but I believe there are two main reasons. We have lost our childlike wonder (and therefore our gratitude), and we have been deceived by society about God’s design for marriage (and therefore lost the art of selflessness).
A TRANSCENDENT PICTURE
These two factors go hand in hand. I have always resonated with Kate Greenaway’s words, “Living in that childish wonder—I can so well remember it. There was always something more—behind and beyond everything—to me.” This is certainly true with the mystery of marriage. What society depicts as a mere replaceable relationship is in reality a spiritual covenant created to mirror the relationship between Christ and His church. Regardless of what popular society says, God has created specific roles for the husband and wife, and when we see the beauty in these roles and embrace them with joyful hearts, we reflect a transcendent picture of selfless love. It is a marvelous mystery, this reflection of Christ and His church, and one that we have the honor of living out.
How beautiful for a man to lay down his life for his bride, just as Christ laid down His life for His church. How beautiful to honor God’s instruction to wives to submit to and respect our husbands as the church submits to Christ. Is it not enchanted, this reality that we get to reflect? The world may mock it and call it oppressive, but it is glorious! Keeping this wonder in our hearts allows us to love and serve our husband, not out of sheer duty, but with genuine delight and desire. I firmly believe it is our sense of wonder and gratitude for what God has given us and has allowed us to be a part of that causes us to overflow with joy and give ourselves away to another in marriage.
ISN’T IT MORE BEAUTIFUL?
It is stated that feelings come and go and that spouses need to have a determined and committed sense of loyalty regardless of how they feel. And sure, that is true. But I do not believe it is ideal. Isn’t it more beautiful to maintain a true genuine affection for our spouse so that it is not a mere obligation to be faithful to them, but it is actually a delight to do so? And I insist that we do so by not losing sight of the wonder of the gift of marriage—that God created marriage at all, that we’ve been given a spouse at all, that we’ve been given a person to love and support and be best friends with for a lifetime.
This is an extraordinary wonder that sadly few have eyes to see. G.K. Chesterton, one of my favorite philosophical authors who had an ability to maintain a sense of wonder in living, observes the beauty of monogamy when he writes: “Keeping to one woman is a small price for so much as seeing one woman. To complain that I could only be married once was like complaining that I had only been born once.”
ISN’T IT A PRIVILEGE?
Rather than becoming bored with a gift we’ve been given—in this instance, a spouse—Chesterton saw the wonder of being given one woman for himself at all. And as women, we need to maintain our wonder and gratitude for being given our husbands. Our husbands were once little boys with big dreams and have grown into men who only get one wife to share life with. Wouldn’t we want to give them the best possible love and support and friendship that we possibly can? Isn’t that such a precious privilege we’ve been given?
And intimacy! How could we ever neglect the gift of intimacy! Becoming one flesh with our beloved—this is a most exciting and fun thrill in itself (not to mention necessary) that should never be neglected. How could we ever deny our body to our husband? We get to take part in this mysterious union of becoming one flesh with our very best friend on earth. This is such a vital part of keeping a marriage healthy. It is only to our detriment that we should neglect such a gift.
Although it is unfortunately observed in human life that familiarity breeds contempt, it doesn’t have to be this way. Humans become bored with the familiar, because they have lost their sense of wonder of the gift that is before them. If we could only be like children, not losing our “eternal appetite of infancy,” how much more beautiful life would be? How much more gratitude would we have in our hearts for all the gracious gifts God gives us? And how much easier would it be to naturally pour out love from an overflow of the heart, rather than with an obligatory sigh?
Society has lied to us about many things, but it is no light matter to be a devoted wife, committing ourselves to helping our husbands succeed in life and bringing as much joy and delight as possible to his days under the sun. Our culture insists on seeking to please ourselves—building our own careers and empires away from men and children—devoting our lives to ourselves rather than giving ourselves away for others. But this leads to the most unhappy life.
Boris Pasternak once said: “The object of a masterpiece is to give oneself away,” and it is a beautiful life lived when we give ourselves away in the very manner God has instructed us to do so in His Word—to be a helpmeet to our husbands, devoted mothers to our children (if He gives us these gifts) and live each day joyfully unto the Lord with gratitude for all He’s done.
What a tragedy to overlook the extraordinary blessings God gives in our children, our marriages, our health, our homes. The world is constantly telling us that we need more. But we do not need anything more than what God has placed right in front of us. “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6).
Ingratitude for all God has given to us is, I believe, what often leads us to sin. When we ignore the beauty and blessings with which God has adorned our lives we may then look elsewhere for satisfaction and fulfillment for our souls. We see this happening in society all around us and the devastating destruction of all things beautiful as a result.
But this is what is beautiful: To wake up to the same face every day, year after year, seeing our spouse’s face change and their body change and loving them unconditionally. How beautiful to have meant it when we said, “for better or for worse,” and to be there, lovingly and faithfully in the hard times and in the really hard times. To gain houses and to lose houses, to have children together and watch them grow, to sacrifice our own meals, if need be, to see our children eat, and to go cold so they can be warm, and to do all this together.
How beautiful to see someone at their very best and at their very worst, and to love them the same—to be their support, their rock, the warm smile and tender kiss they need. Such faithfulness is near impossible to find in this world, apart from Christ Himself. But in marriage, we can experience it. In marriage, we can (and ought!) to give ourselves away so freely and faithfully—in the way God has designed for our relational roles—and know that we are mirroring the glorious image of Christ and His church. There is so much mysterious awe in that, and it is a true reality!
THE REMARKABLE PRIVILEGE
May we never grow dull in our love for our husbands, in the precious friendship that we’ve been given with them. May we never lose sight of the wonder of God’s beautiful and perfect design of marriage—with our husband as our head and protector and provider, and we, their loving helpmate and homemaker. May we never forget the remarkable privilege it is to be given one man to love and support, to become one flesh with, to make little lives with, and to be faithful to all the days of our life, till death do us part.
Chesterton wrote: “What was wonderful about childhood is that anything in it was a wonder . . . It was a miraculous world.” A child does not grow bored at the repetition of the same game or seeing the same flower every day. Rather, children “exult in monotony” because “mere life is interesting enough” for them. Oh how we can learn from children! To see things with wonder is to see things as they truly are because everything is truly wonderful!
Can we regain the joy of living with a daily sense of surprise and excitement for all that is around us? Can we maintain this childlike sense of wonder, to receive everything as a gift?
LAURA DILL
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Wrightwood, California, USA
Picture: David and Laura with their darling children: Knox (7), Lenya (5), Bruce (3), and Layla (1).
