A modern trend in parenting is to make our children happy. Whatever we can do to make them happy is the aim, even if it’s giving in to their whims and wants.
I don’t believe this is the kind of parenting that works. Of course, it’s easy parenting. It takes effort and disciplined parenting to train children to become mature adults who are ready for life and ready for marriage and raising a family.
Our purpose should not just be to make them happy (although of course we want them to be happy) but to train them to be responsible, hard-working, honorable, trustworthy, reliable, unselfish, evil-hating, and God-loving people.
Some parents think that easy parenting is loving parenting. I don’t think this is rue love. True love longs for our children to become all that God wants them to be. True love deals with the negative and selfish ways of our children. True love does not want our children to grow up taking these habits into their adult life. When we allow our children to get into the habits of disobedience, rebellion, and moods, it shows we don’t care about them at all. We are not thinking of what it will be like when they get married one day.
The Bible tells us that God corrects those He loves. Actually, it’s stronger than that.
Hebrews 12:6 says: “For whom the Lord LOVETH he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.” That’s because He loves us and yearns over us to be conformed to the image of His Son (Romans 8:29).
Of course there is balance. We ultimately want our children to live in a home of happiness, joy, fun, and laughter! But in reality, this doesn’t work if we constantly face rebellion and moods and disobedience. That’s miserable parenting. No wonder some parents don’t want any more children.
As I write this I am thinking about my dog and the need for some disciplined training. Sometimes when the phone rings it is someone needing encouragement or counseling and I will go outside to talk (where it’s private) and I can also get a little fresh air and sunshine. Of course, my dog is so happy to come outside with me. But now he thinks that I should come outside every time the phone rings. And so he has begun jumping up on me as soon as hears the phone. I’ve just purchased a device to use to train him not to do this because I’m not enjoying him when he does this all the time. It’s the same with our children. We can’t enjoy them when they continue to misbehave and are disobedient to us.
When we train our children, we can then relax and enjoy the atmosphere of a home of peace. Proverbs 29:17 states: “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”
How much do you love your children?
Love from Nancy Campbell
Painting from Etsy.