FROM A HOWLING GALE TO FINE WEATHER

Today, ladies I would love to introduce you to another very dear friend. Heather Jones is Val’s sister. Val is the Director of Above Rubies in Australia and her sister, Heather, is the Director of Above Rubies in New Zealand. This is a testimony which Heather wrote for Above Rubies 40 years ago when the magazine first began. I am sure it will relate to you as much as if she was writing it today.

The Howling Gale . . .

Most people ask children at some time what they want to be when they grow up. I always replied, “A mother.” As far as I could see, childrearing would be a breeze. However, when it happened, I soon registered a howling gale!

Our first child, Richard, was not well when he arrived, and for that matter, neither was I. We both struggled together. Nineteen months later Naomi arrived, healthy and strong. Then came Virginia 18 months after—with a heart defect. I had three children in three years. Those who have their children close know what it’s like.

My husband suffered from a disease called “deerstalking-it is.” which meant he was in the hills every chance he got. He also worked shift work, so that left me practically bringing up the children on my own.

They were not easy children, as those who knew us would verify. I got lots of sympathy, mostly from myself!

Richard had social problems. He would suddenly attack a child for no reason and cause it harm. He was so unpredictable. We could never see it coming, so every day I was going up the wall.

Those were the days that I’d go to bed at night and wish the next day would never come. I hated my life and many times wished I could die. One evening, after I’d struggled to get the children off to bed, and was still pretty wound up, a friend called and asked how I was. My reply, much to her horror, was, “I wish I could get some dreaded disease and die.” I felt that dying of a painful disease would be easier on me than these three offspring in my care.

I was desperate and cried out to God. How I pleaded with Him and how He graciously taught me not to fight my children, but to understand them. The unfolding wasn’t easy, because I didn’t always want to take His advice. But I learned to set my will to do what I knew had to be done.

I couldn’t feel close to my middle child. She was hard for me to love. I’d have her on my knee one minute, then push her off. I could see what my rejection was doing to her, and so I WILLED myself to show her lots of attention. When I’d rather watch her little sister, I’d watch her instead. I’d sit her on my knee and cuddle and kiss her until she’d had enough. It was lovely to see her respond. My attitude changed through the sheer discipline of my will. And now I looked forward to our cuddles together.

After a while she asked me, “Mummy, do you love me?” Finally, SHE KNEW I did.

Another thing I learned was that God had REWARDED me with my children. He wanted to bless me through my children. When I realized this, I stopped calling them “fair little brats” and began to call them “my blessings” and “my rewards.” As I changed my words, they changed their behavior and truly became my blessings. They are now my joy and delight.

As our children are growing up, we’re filled with joy and expectancy about their future. Their father is no longer a deerstalker, nor does he do shift work. Together we are jointly working towards a wholesome life for our children.

~ HEATHER JONES
Evan and Heather’s children are now grown and they are doting grandparents.

Picture: Heather Jones and Nancy cutting the Above Rubies anniversary cake to celebrate 40 years of doing Above Rubies. This was taken in the spring of this year in the city of Palmerston North, New Zealand where the magazine began.