Above Rubies Daily Encouragement Blogs

Are you smiling at your wife?

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

“Smiles are the language of love.”

“They gave each other a smile with a future.”

It is true that it doesn’t cost much to smile. However, the cost of negative feelings, as well as the price, is evidently too much to pay. I could not help notice while watching the Olympics the vast difference between the cultures when it comes to smiling. Some athletes looked sad even before they participated in their event. It almost made me want to cry for them.

True Christianity, irrespective of the circumstances, is and should always be “joy unspeakable and full of glory” (1 Peter 1:8).

True holiness has absolutely nothing to do with keeping a straight face. Of course, I am not suggesting that smiling is appropriate during discipline and repentance. It would convey a false message for a wife or husband to smile at their spouse while the spouse is committing adultery or porn.

Who wants a Christianity that has no power to even put a smile on one’s face—not the world, and certainly, not God.

Be encouraged to smile more. Colin

Men, do you smile at your wives? If not, why not?

Here are some quotes…

“All people smile in the same language.”

“A smile is a light in the window indicating that the heart is home.”

“A smile is God’s cosmetic.”

“Learn to greet your friends with a smile; they carry too many frowns in their hearts to be bothered with yours.” ~ Mary Ayer.

My wife recently wrote a post on the Above Rubies Facebook encouraging wives to smile at their husbands. She was grieved to receive so many negative responses of wives who shared that even smiling at their husbands made no difference to them. They were still so difficult to live with and many had give up hope. And these were “Christian women.” This reveals how deep and difficult the problems in even Christian marriages.

I hate to think that I would be such a bad husband that my wife would find it difficult to smile at me. How we need a revival that will bring healing love, and yes—smiles, back into our marriages. How hard-hearted have we become when we cannot freely smile at each other? How hurt we must be that we cannot even smile.

Be encouraged to smile more at your wife. Colin

The last principle regarding Family Devotions is to exercise cheerful discipline regarding Family Devotions. Fathers must exercise discipline to keep up this habit otherwise the enemy will quickly snatch it away from them. The weakening of the family begins as a result of missed Family Devotions to God, who alone gives us all our daily needs.

I am not saying we should feel condemned if for some valid reason we occasionally miss our devotions. That would be legalism. God honors the willing spirit.

2 Corinthians 8:12 says, “If there be first a willing mind.”

2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.”

Psalm 40:8 says, “I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.”

The above Scriptures make it abundantly clear that Christianity that pleases God is not based on legalistic discipline, but rather the disciplines that are motivated from a cheerful heart that delights to do God’s will. Jesus recognized this problem with his disciples when he said regarding the discipline of prayer, “The spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41).

We cannot wait for the flesh to be willing. As long as the spirit is willing we can go ahead and be disciplined to do Family Devotions.

Be encouraged. Colin

Fathers need to make Family Devotions a Number One Priority by readjusting their schedules to be home for this most important time of day. If a father cannot be present at morning devotions, the wife or older son could conduct the Family Devotions.

Every father should at least try to be home to lead Family Devotions. If it is too difficult twice a day, make it a priority to be home to lead the family in prayer, worship, and reading the Holy Scriptures at least once per day.

We are commanded by our Lord Jesus Christ to “seek first the kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33). Family Devotions are an important part of putting the kingdom of God first because it is seeking the kingdom of God as a whole family. I am not saying that it is not important to seek the kingdom of God first as an individual, for individual seeking is very important. However, individual seeking is greatly benefited and encouraged by family seeking. Family Devotions will and do give birth to a greater desire in the individual to go deeper into God.

Be encouraged. Colin

The tenth principle for Family Devotions it to keep a meek and reverential spirit.

James 1:21 tell us to “Receive with meekness the engrafted word.”

Men, do not use this time to show off your knowledge, to preach, or condemn or put down your wife or any member of your family. This only causes resistance and reaction. It is far better to use this time to briefly encourage your wife and family.

Bible knowledge is a wonderful thing, but not something to be proud about. This is opposite to the teaching of Scripture. Psalm 25:9 says, “The meek will he guide in judgment: the meek will he teach his way.”

I often read part of a Scripture and see if anyone in the family can finish the verse. Sometimes, I ask if anyone knows in what book of the Bible the Scripture is found. This encourages the memorization of Scripture rather than to be confused with religious pride.

Fathers, seek to create in your family a deep respect for God’s Word and prayer. Seek to create a hunger in your family to be taught from the Scriptures.

Be encouraged. Colin

The ninth principle in Family Devotions is to pray about what you read from the Scriptures. Prayer is the key which enables God’s Word to benefit the inner man of the heart. Some call this “pray reading.” I personally receive great benefit from the Scriptures as I pray read them in own personal life. I believe we should never read the Word without making it a matter for prayer.

As we read the Word, we should seek the Holy Spirit’s enlightenment on what it means and how we should pray about it. In this way, the Scriptures become a great resource for payer.

In family Devotions, it is a good thing for the father of the family to emphasize one important aspect in the daily reading for the whole family to pray about. It is better to pray earnestly about one thing rather than “overload” the children by having too many things to pray about.

During Family Devotions, the father should also ask each member of the family if they noticed anything in the daily reading they feel we should pray about. This helps to keep up their spiritual antennas and keep them alert.

Be encouraged. Colin

Family Devotions are not a time for long-winded sermons. We can leave all that to the pastor on Sunday! Our wife and children can easily be turned off by overzealousness.

Isaiah 28:9-10 says, “Whom shall he teach knowledge? And whom shall he make to understand doctrine? Them that are weaned from the milk and drawn from the breasts. For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept: line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.”

This Scripture makes it abundantly clear that no one can reach adulthood or maturity without the brief, but regular milk from the breast of Family Devotions. As parents, we must be always ready to provide and impart spontaneous daily tidbits of spiritual wisdom and advice to the eager listeners who have lots of questions.

We need to note the words, “Here a little, and there are little.” This implies sharing little precepts of truth at any time and wherever we are (Deuteronomy 6:6-8) and also just enough to be able to take in and digest. Indigestion is not pleasant for the natural body, nor is it good for the inner man.

I think that 15 – 20 minutes in the Word, including questions and discussion, twice a day, is enough. Remember that children, as well as adults, do not have long attention spans.

To be continued. Be encouraged. Colin

The seventh principle of Family Devotions is to keep it simple, easy, and not complicated. In order to maintain interest, dispel boredom, and hold the family’s attention we should remember to apply some appropriate and practical tips when reading the Word of God.

Firstly, read the Word clearly, eagerly, and enthusiastically. Make sure to emphasize certain words. There is nothing more deadly than reading the Word too quickly, too slowly, too boringly, and too indistinctly. Do not mumble God’s Word. We must remember that we are reading the holiest and most precious book in the entire world.

Ask questions. In order to keep the family’s minds focused on what is being read, ask several questions as you read. Ask different children to supply the answers. Make certain that both you and your family get the understanding of the main points. What is the point of reading the Holy Scriptures to your family if at the end they have no idea what is was all about?

Tomorrow we shall discuss why we should keep the reading brief and to the point.

Be encouraged. Colin

Men, we must be available to lead our families. Absentee fatherhood is not fatherhood. Fathers need to make it a priority to be home to lead in Family Devotions.

The sixth principle for Family Devotions is to have every family member present (as much as possible). This Christian exercise is for the benefit of the whole family and everyone living under your roof, not just certain members.

If a member of the family is not feeling well enough to eat at the family table, he or she, of course, may be excused from Family Devotions. However, if they are hungry enough to eat at the table, they need to remain seated for Family Devotions. The family meal table is not only a place to feed the outer man, but to feed the inner man.

Each member of the family needs to participate in prayer. This enables them to be actively involved in calling on the Lord. Each member should also be ready and willing to answer questions regarding the Scriptures being read.

As the family grows and there come challenges to schedules for sports and all manner of activities, they should all be prioritized to fit around the higher priority we place on as many of our family as possible being involved with Family Devotions.

If the husband has to go to work very early, the wife or older son could fill in the gap. But, husbands and fathers, we need to be home to lead our families in the evening devotions.

We must take out place as the spiritual leaders of our families and we have to be home to make this happen.

Be encouraged. Colin

Today we share Principle 3 for Family Devotions, that of worshipping God through the singing of hymns and spiritual songs.

In our family we do this at the end of our Family Devotions. However, it would be just as appropriate to do it at the beginning. I have noticed that when we sing at the end, everyone seems to get into the singing mood and continue singing as we clear the table and do dishes. This makes a great atmosphere.

In the tabernacle we note that the ministry of prayer, praise, and worship, typified by the golden altar of Incense, was situated at the end of the order of the service. The order…

1. The brazen altar representing Calvary.
2. The brazen laver representing the washing by baptism.
3. The candlestick representing the Holy Spirit’s work of illuminating the bread, which was opposite the candlestick and represented the Word of God.
4. Finally, the golden altar of incense representing prayer, praise, and worship which was situated directly before the Holy of Holies, representing the divine Shekinah presence of God.

I have often noticed a wonderful sense of God’s presence as we sing hymns and worship songs around our table. We often use the hymn books and ask the family to choose which one they would like to sing. Sometimes we sing up to three hymns as we end devotions.

Be encouraged. Colin

2. THE FATHER READING THE SCRIPTURES TO HIS FAMILY.

Men, when it comes to Family Devotions, I believe that fathers should exercise their spiritual headship by establishing order. All members of the family should be reverent while the father reads the Scriptures to his family. It is important for the father to visibly be seen by his family as the family’s spiritual and natural head of the home.

God has biblically declared, as far as headship is concerned, that “The head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man” (1 Corinthians 1). I believe it is a good thing for every Christian wife to not be contentious over God’s creational order, but rather to humbly accept her role as her husband’s helpmeet and encourage him to take his leadership.

I believe it is healthy for families to grow up knowing that dad is the head of the home. However, all dads must learn to take this authority as being under God, with all meekness and humility, not abusing their wives or their children through being over authoritative. This only causes resistance and rejection.

As fathers lovingly read the Scriptures to their families, God will use this to establish their headship in a way that will bring about respect for their authority.

Be encouraged. Colin

Men, our family unity is shallow, and perhaps very shallow, if the Word of God, prayers, and worship are not exercised and ministered on a daily basis in our homes. To me it seems hypocritical for us to call ourselves “Christian” families if family worship, prayers, and the Word of God are not given their rightful place in our daily lives. No wonder so many “Christian marriages” end in divorce.

Family Devotions are not synonymous with arguments, tensions, separation, and divorce. Family Devotions are synonymous with true love, unity, and the commanded blessings of Psalm 133. The “Oh how beautiful” truth of godly unity is still waiting to be experienced in Christian families who feel no need for Family Devotions and who believe that their faith in Christ does not need this daily support.

But, storms will come, as they always do, and sad to say, many homes will continue to fall because their foundations are not deep enough into the daily solid Rock of the Word of Christ.

As always, and especially in these days, our families need the “Daily Bread” that will feed our spirits, keep us in beautiful unity, and repel all negative storms of destruction.

Be encouraged. Colin

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! … there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life forevermore” (Psalm 133:1-3). Praying together as a family unites the family in the best ways possible. Negative attitudes change when families pray together. Family unity is a blessing beyond compare and praying together will definitely preserve and increase this great virtue.

When the Christian family, for whatever reason, neglects to pray together, the family unity suffers great loss. Individual members become more isolated into their own world. The love, care, and concern for one another quickly subsides.

Families are meant to be a team that pulls together. Families are meant to have common goals and values. If one member suffers, the other members will pull together to help.

Families are somewhat held together by a common DNA. However, without daily praying together, even DNA is not be enough to keep us in the true unity that is deep and meaningful. There is such a thing as shallow unity, but who wants that? I think that multitudes of Christian families are experiencing shallow unity and think this is normal. But, when we pray together prayers of agreement our unity takes on a far greater dynamic.

Be encouraged. Colin

5. There are three principles to be maintained during Family Devotions.

1. PRAYING TOGETHER (each member praying)

The devil will do all he can to stop families from corporate praying.

Prayer is calling upon God to defeat all the devices and attacks of wicked spiritual powers. When families pray prayers of agreement, tremendous forces of God are summoned into action to bring answers to their prayers. There is no need that is too great for God to provide a victorious answer.

I believe that everyone around the table should pray—no exceptions. In this way, each member of the family exercises their highest duty and privilege in life. They are doing their part in the battle of life, not only for themselves, but for others and the nation.

It is at Family Devotions where the art of prayer is learned and developed. It is at Family Devotions where the devil’s plans are weakened.

Encourage short prayers that are to the point, in order to not drag out the time. Long prayers can kill Family Devotions. Long praying should be encouraged for individual praying on your own with God.

Be encouraged. Colin

4. THE RESULTS OF NOT HAVING FAMILY DEVOTIONS.

Hebrews 2:3, “How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation?”

Neglect of Family Devotions will result in adverse consequences. Fathers, we need to understand the consequences that result from not having Family Devotions, such as a spiritually weakened family where the world, the flesh, and the devil begin to exert an ever increasing influence of darkness into the family home.

Instead of the world of God and prayer, TV, the media, computers and all the latest ungodly electronic entertainment rushes in to fill the gap. Most of the homes in our nation are filled with all sorts of substitutes to keep our minds away from God.

Fathers, as true Christian, we should be turning our homes into lighthouses so other homes in our community will see the light and be warned away from the rocks of destruction that are already sinking their ships (homes). What’s the point of having a lighthouse if the lights are not on? Family Devotions are a great source of power to light up your home.

The neglect of Family Devotions has resulted in a huge loss of the prayer of agreement. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why we as a nation have become so weak.

Be encouraged. Colin

Psalm 34:10 says, “The young lions do lack and suffer hunger, but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.”

3. UNDERSTAND THE BENEFITS

If Family Devotions are administered by loving, caring and godly fathers there will be no end to the benefits, just as there is no end to the grace of God toward those who have set their hearts to seek Him. Family Devotions are in a real sense a form of seeking the Lord with all the family involved.

Family Devotions help to bind marriages and families together in the love of God. Where a marriage is breaking up you will find that Family Devotions has long gone out the window.

Family Devotions definitely increases the presence of God in the home and is a strong deterrent to the spirit of arguments, criticism, debate, and negativity. People who suffer from spiritual depression will find it receding as will other forms of spiritual attach.

A greater sense of well-being will begin to be manifested.

Be encouraged. Colin

2. REALIZE THE IMPORTANCE

When the father of the home understands the importance and relevance of family devotions he will be motivated to make it happen. Family Devotions are something that the devil does not like because it threatens his kingdom. Therefore, he does whatever he can to discourage, and finally put a halt to family devotions.

Men, we must be strong in our convictions on this subject. Family devotions are not something we wait to feel good about before we act. They are not to be taken casually with a “take it or leave it” attitude.

Most Christian men have not had strong mentorship on this subject. They have not had fathers who have trained them to see the importance of family devotions. The enemy capitalizes on this in order to snuff it out before we can even establish family devotions as a daily morning and evening lifestyle in our families.

Family devotions must be seen as imperative and absolutely essential to both the physical and spiritual wellbeing of our families (1 Timothy 4:7-8).

Be encouraged. Colin

In this and the following posts, I will share 12 important points for fathers regarding Family Devotions.

1. MEN MUST TAKE LEADERSHIP

Fathers should not fail to exercise their headship of the family regarding Family Devotions. This is where they exercise their priesthood.

Men, in order for your family to take Family Devotions seriously, you will need to maintain order and encourage their attention. As a pastor takes leadership during a church service, so must every father deal with foolishness and inappropriate behavior?

I do not allow eating and drinking during Family Devotions. Phones, TVs, computers, etc., should be turned off to minimize distractions.

I do not allow several discussions to go on at the same time or children to converse amongst themselves. Foolish jesting about spiritual matters should be discouraged. There is a big difference between laughing when something is purely funny and foolish joking which borders on sacrilege.

Everyone should be gathered together and not all over the place. I do not allow anyone in our home to skip devotions unless there is a good reason. Guests in our home are expected to be part of our Family Devotions, too.

Be encouraged. Colin


In this and the following posts, I will share 12 important points for fathers regarding Family Devotions.

1. MEN MUST TAKE LEADERSHIP

Fathers should not fail to exercise their headship of the family regarding Family Devotions. This is where they exercise their priesthood.

Men, in order for your family to take Family Devotions seriously, you will need to maintain order and encourage their attention. As a pastor takes leadership during a church service, so must every father deal with foolishness and inappropriate behavior?

I do not allow eating and drinking during Family Devotions. Phones, TVs, computers, etc., should be turned off to minimize distractions.

I do not allow several discussions to go on at the same time or children to converse amongst themselves. Foolish jesting about spiritual matters should be discouraged. There is a big difference between laughing when something is purely funny and foolish joking which borders on sacrilege.

Everyone should be gathered together and not all over the place. I do not allow anyone in our home to skip devotions unless there is a good reason. Guests in our home are expected to be part of our Family Devotions, too.

Be encouraged. Colin

Men, as important as it is for our homes to be filled with an atmosphere of godliness, it is even more important that our own lives to be filled with an atmosphere of heaven.

2 Corinthians 2:15 says “For we are unto God a sweet savor of Christ.” The J. B. Phillip’s translates it, "We Christians have the unmistakable ‘scent’ of Christ.” Surely, not only our houses should have this unmistakable scent of Christ, but we ourselves should be oozing the fragrance of Christ.

This scent comes through prayer. Jesus said, “Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer?” (Mark 11:17). Men, we will smell like Christ when we claim our bodies to be houses of prayer.

Be encouraged. Colin

Jesus said, “My house shall be called the house of prayer” (Matthew 21:13).

Family Devotions will increase a godly atmosphere in your home.

Men, what sort of atmosphere do you want in your home? I believe every home contains a certain atmosphere. You can walk into a home and sense the presence of evil, worldliness, tension and stress. Or, you can walk, into a home and become aware of peace, love, purity and godliness.

Home indeed, should, and can be “Home, sweet home.” Home should be a place where you can relax and enjoy the godly atmosphere.

We know in our hearts that heaven contains an amazing godly atmosphere. There will be no computers with ungodly wisdom and knowledge. There will be no TVs pumping into heaven a spirit of worldliness. There will be no questionable literature tainting the atmosphere.

Heaven will be filled with an atmosphere of worship and prayer. In the same way, I believe that every Christian home should be rich with atmosphere of worship, prayer, and the power of the living Word of God.

Be encouraged. Colin