WHAT IF YOUR HUSBAND INSISTS YOU WORK OUTSIDE THE HOME?
Today is my last comment from the I LOVE HOME post. A mother writes, “I worked until our first child was born. Now he is 18 and we have seven more blessings. Working isn't an option with nursing babies, but I would love it if you would comment on the women who work at husband's insistence even after the wife has expressed the desire to stay home. Will G-d bless the wife or is she in the wrong?”
This is certainly not an easy question to answer and yet many women find themselves in this situation. I think the reason for this is that the husband has never grown up with a vision for family. The only experience he knows is of his own mother working. He also imbibes this philosophy from his education, the media, and society as a whole. Unless, he has been taught the truth, what else does he know? May God raise up pastors all over this land who will have courage to share the truth and God’s ways for families with their congregations.
But, what would should the wife do? She needs to spend a special time with her husband sharing her heart, or perhaps even writing down the feelings of her heart.
What about writing down on a piece of paper…
1. All the advantages of staying at home—financial, emotional, generational impacting, and eternal accountability, etc. List specific items as you think of them under each of these headings. The greatest thing we can do in this life is to give our lives to that which will last beyond our lifetime. A career will not last even for this life, let alone beyond our lifetime. Mothering and training children lasts into generations to come and even eternity.
2. All the disadvantages of leaving the home to go out to work—the effect upon the children, the effect upon your marriage because of less time to minister to your husband, and even less energy and time for love-making with your husband which is a high priority in your marriage, and extra stress upon you which also affects your home and marriage, etc. List items specifically under these headings also.
3. All the biblical reasons why you should be at home. Biblically, motherhood is synonymous with home. The Bible always paints the picture of the mother in the home. Psalm 113:9 says, “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children.” The home and children are “twins.” When describing a home that is blessed of the Lord, God paints the picture of the mother in the very heart of the home with all her children sitting around the table (Psalm 128:3). Once again, the home and children are synonymous.
4. All the pros of building into the home and the cons of weakening the home because you are no longer in the home.
5. All the reasons why you cannot afford to go to work.
6. All the reasons how you can save money at home. Scaling back and doing without things you think you need is a better way to save money than going out to work where you have to spend more money to go out, e.g. extra gas, extra clothes, fast food, daycare etc. It’s amazing what you can save at home with home gardening, home cooking, and home rationing of what you don’t need.
It may take some time and prayer to complete this project. When you have completed it, one evening ask your husband with your sweetest and loving voice, “Darling, I have written down some thoughts for you. Could you please take time to read them and pray over them? Thank you so much.”
I am sure that as he reads these important truths and all the reasons of how going out to work will negatively affect not only you, but your husband, your marriage, your children, and your home, that he will begin to see things from a different light.
Some women like to do a business in their home, but this doesn’t always work out. Another idea is to look after someone else’s child or children in your home. This can often be accommodated because you are already looking after your children. If you seek Him, God will always give you a way to work it out without leaving your home and your precious children.
When God gives you your children, He gives them to you to nurture and train, not somebody else! This is a deception of the enemy.
By the way, my husband said that he is happy and available to encourage any husband about this issue if they would like to call him. He can be contacted on his cell at 615 948 5958.
Blessings from Nancy
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This is certainly not an easy question to answer and yet many women find themselves in this situation. I think the reason for this is that the husband has never grown up with a vision for family. The only experience he knows is of his own mother working. He also imbibes this philosophy from his education, the media, and society as a whole. Unless, he has been taught the truth, what else does he know? May God raise up pastors all over this land who will have courage to share the truth and God’s ways for families with their congregations.
But, what would should the wife do? She needs to spend a special time with her husband sharing her heart, or perhaps even writing down the feelings of her heart.
What about writing down on a piece of paper…
1. All the advantages of staying at home—financial, emotional, generational impacting, and eternal accountability, etc. List specific items as you think of them under each of these headings. The greatest thing we can do in this life is to give our lives to that which will last beyond our lifetime. A career will not last even for this life, let alone beyond our lifetime. Mothering and training children lasts into generations to come and even eternity.
2. All the disadvantages of leaving the home to go out to work—the effect upon the children, the effect upon your marriage because of less time to minister to your husband, and even less energy and time for love-making with your husband which is a high priority in your marriage, and extra stress upon you which also affects your home and marriage, etc. List items specifically under these headings also.
3. All the biblical reasons why you should be at home. Biblically, motherhood is synonymous with home. The Bible always paints the picture of the mother in the home. Psalm 113:9 says, “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children.” The home and children are “twins.” When describing a home that is blessed of the Lord, God paints the picture of the mother in the very heart of the home with all her children sitting around the table (Psalm 128:3). Once again, the home and children are synonymous.
4. All the pros of building into the home and the cons of weakening the home because you are no longer in the home.
5. All the reasons why you cannot afford to go to work.
6. All the reasons how you can save money at home. Scaling back and doing without things you think you need is a better way to save money than going out to work where you have to spend more money to go out, e.g. extra gas, extra clothes, fast food, daycare etc. It’s amazing what you can save at home with home gardening, home cooking, and home rationing of what you don’t need.
It may take some time and prayer to complete this project. When you have completed it, one evening ask your husband with your sweetest and loving voice, “Darling, I have written down some thoughts for you. Could you please take time to read them and pray over them? Thank you so much.”
I am sure that as he reads these important truths and all the reasons of how going out to work will negatively affect not only you, but your husband, your marriage, your children, and your home, that he will begin to see things from a different light.
Some women like to do a business in their home, but this doesn’t always work out. Another idea is to look after someone else’s child or children in your home. This can often be accommodated because you are already looking after your children. If you seek Him, God will always give you a way to work it out without leaving your home and your precious children.
When God gives you your children, He gives them to you to nurture and train, not somebody else! This is a deception of the enemy.
By the way, my husband said that he is happy and available to encourage any husband about this issue if they would like to call him. He can be contacted on his cell at 615 948 5958.
Blessings from Nancy
Read More