HELP!
How can I have Peace in my Home?
Everyone is looking for peace—peace in their soul, in their home and in their country. Peace is perhaps the greatest possession we can have. The wonderful thing is that we can own peace, regardless of circumstances. We could own a mansion and all the material blessings we crave and yet not have peace. We can own nothing and yet be blessed with peace.
God is peace—the originator of peace. Jesus came to guide our feet into the way of peace. (Luke 1:79). He said, “Come and I will give you rest…” and “My peace I give unto you…” But His peace and rest are not automatic. Nothing happens by itself. As Henry Drummond says, “The Christian life is not casual but causal.” We cannot get away from the eternal law that we reap what we sow.
In Zechariah 8:12 God says, "I am planting seeds of peace and prosperity among you…” God spoke these words to encourage the people when rebuilding the temple of Jerusalem. God is a seed-planter. He is not only a God of peace, but He sows seeds of peace. We, who were created in the image of God, should also be peace seed-planters.
How can we sow seeds of peace in our home and family? The following are some seeds that you can plant that will help bring peace to your heart and home.
Pray for Peace
Every morning when we have devotions as a family, my husband prays for peace to fill our home. If we constantly pray for it, we are well on the way toward making it happen.
God commanded us to pray for the peace of His city, Jerusalem. (Psalm 122:6) It is just as important to pray for the peace of our homes. Can you imagine what would happen if every family prayed daily for peace in their family?
Speak Peace
We should not only pray for it, but speak it. As we were raising our older children, my husband would constantly confess, “I am a man of peace” or “I am for peace.” We needed that confession in the midst of our six very exuberant and outspoken children. Unfortunately, our children have loudness in their genes. My husband comes from a family of nine children, who, although committed believers and many are serving the Lord full-time, have very loud voices, are very opinionated and not afraid to speak their opinions. How we love being together.
I come from a smaller family, but just as loud. A friend of ours, who lived with us for a while when we were raising our family used to say, “What hope is there for your children with a “Crowin’ Campbell” for a father and a “Blowin’ Bowen” for a mother?” Amazingly, in the midst of all our loudness, we mostly had an atmosphere of peace.
As you pray for your children each morning, minister the peace of God upon them. Walk into your kitchen with your “gospel of peace” shoes on your feet and release peace on each one of your children. Pray it over them. Confess it over them. Speak it into their lives. Be a peace-bearer rather than a tension-bearer.
Peace is a noun, but the Bible verbs it. It tells us to extend peace, pursue peace, love peace, make peace, establish peace, preach peace, proclaim peace, seek peace and speak peace.* This is how it happens—by sowing the seeds. Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers…” (Matthew 5:9) Do you notice that you have to make it happen?
Ask God to help you be a peacemaker today. I know it’s not an easy task. You have to bite your tongue. You have to practice speaking words that are affirming, encouraging, cheerful, comforting, forgiving, healing, helpful, kind, loving, positive, reconciling, respectful, strengthening, supportive, sweet, uplifting, and wholesome. You have to smile instead of scowl. You have to think of ways to reconcile.
Shut Your Mouth
Perhaps this is one of the biggest ways to keep peace. It is easy to spout off words that cause discord. It is easy to react with words that cause pain or even incite rebellion. It is easy to answer back when accused. I am always challenged by Jesus’ reaction when he was accused:
Isaiah 53:7, “He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth.”
Matthew 26:62-63, “The high priest arose, and said unto him, Answerest thou nothing? What is it which these witness against thee? But Jesus held his peace.”
Matthew 27:11-13, “When he was accused of the chief priests and elders, he answered nothing. Then said Pilate unto him, Hearest thou not how many things they witness against thee? And he answered him to never a word.”
1 Peter 2:23, “Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again…”
If we cannot give a soft answer, it is best not to even open our mouths! This takes self control, doesn’t it? But the Holy Spirit, who is self control, lives within us to help us. We need to have Proverbs 15:1 constantly in our minds and hearts, “A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
Discipline for Peace
This doesn’t sound very peaceful, does it? We often think that if we rock the boat we won’t have peace! But the opposite is true. Discipline precedes peace! Read that again. Yes, discipline precedes peace! If your children are playing up, disobeying, being defiant and causing havoc in the home, you won’t have any peace. To get peace, you must deal with the disobedience and bad behavior.
Proverbs 29:17 says, “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.” Do you want rest and peace in your home? Don’t gloss over disobedience. Deal with the issues. Sow loving but firm discipline for disobedient behavior and you will reap a reward of rest. Many parents have no rest. Their children are a constant hassle to them because they have not been trained. They yell at them but their behavior doesn’t change.
It is a joy to watch parents who live a life of rest. I think of my daughter, Evangeline, who has nine children. She and her husband, Howard have trained their children to respond with instant obedience from the time they were very little. They have never allowed disobedience or defiant behavior. They dealt with it immediately and have reaped a wonderful reward of rest. Their children, aged from 15 years to 16 months are extraordinarily behaved. They give delight to their parents and everyone who is around them. They can take them anywhere and trust their behavior. Evangeline lives a life of a queen for her children give her no bother.
Hebrews 12:11 reiterates this, “Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but grievous; nevertheless, afterwards it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
I was quite taken aback when reading Romans 16:20 recently, “And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly.” You would think that when it speaks of God defeating the devil that He would be referred to as the God of War or the Lord of hosts (which is the Lord of the Armies of Heaven). It will not be a peaceful task to conquer Satan. It will be war and blood and tears. But, no. It is the God of peace who will bruise Satan. I am sure this is because there can never be true peace while evil reigns and therefore it is the God of peace who wages war to bring peace.
If you have to have a little war before you have peace, don’t be afraid. Covering over things will not bring peace. It is like a festering sore that will not heal until it is totally cleansed.
Watch Your Priorities
Remember that mothering is your first and highest calling. You are a mother before you are a homeschooler. You are a mother before every other project or outside activity that pulls on your time. When you make mothering your priority and forget the guilt of not having to accomplish other demands, you will have rest.
When you feel overwhelmed and tension is overtaking, stop and think. Are you involved in unnecessary outside activities? Are you running around in the car more than being at home? You are meant to mother in the home, not the car! You don’t have to have your children involved in every sport and every extra curricular activity. It is the ploy of the enemy to bring tension to your soul and distract you from the power of your home.
Don’t let good things rob you of the best! Proverbs 24:15 says, “Lay not wait, O wicked man, against the dwelling of the righteous, spoil not his resting place.”
Seek Reconciliation
You cannot have peace if you have estranged relationships. To enjoy peace you must seek healing and restoration. Sow seeds of reconciliation. You won’t have peace until you do. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. (Ephesians 4:26-27)
Forget Your Worries
Ephesians 4:6-7 says, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” In other words, don’t worry about anything! Easier said than done! But if you want peace, it is a habit you must practice.
Each time you face a problem, instead of worrying, turn it over the Lord. Look to the Lord rather than your circumstances. It takes a while to get into this habit, but it will change your life. You will walk in peace even in the midst of the storm.
My favorite Scripture, a special one for mothers, is found in Isaiah 26:3-4, “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusts in thee. Trust ye in the Lord forever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.” When we sow the habit of bringing our thought life to the Lord, we will have peace. Not only peace, but perfect peace. It is actually a double word in the Hebrew meaning, peace, peace!
Husband/Wife Unity
Sow unity in your marriage relationship. If you don’t have unity together, you won’t have peace in your heart, nor will your children know peace. When there is estrangement between you and your husband, the children will feel the brunt of it. Once again, you have to sow the seeds. It won’t just happen. Realize the truth that God has made you one--not two, but one! Sow seeds to make this oneness a reality. Say Sorry. Forgive. Swallow your pride. Humble yourself. Shut your mouth. Speak soft words. Submit for your own blessing.
Love the Word
We sow peace into our home when we love the Word and make it part of our family life. Our children should see that we teach them the Word, not because it is what we should do, but because we love it.
Psalm 119:165 says, “Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing causes them to stumble.”
Isaiah 48:18 says, “Oh, that you had heeded my commandments! Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea.”
It is not always easy to obey God’s Word. It is usually the opposite of the way we feel, but obedience brings peace.
Love Righteousness
Psalm 85:10 says, “Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.” You can’t have peace without righteousness. They are inseparable. But righteousness is more than turning away from evil. It is doing righteous deeds.
Righteousness is not passive, but alive. It is revealed in your facial features as you smile at your family and speaks positive things; it comes out your fingertips as you work and toil for the blessing of your family or hug and embrace your children; it shows itself as you walk to do good deeds for your family and others.
We see this in Isaiah 32:17, “The work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance forever.” Do you notice that righteousness is a work? And do you notice the cause and effect? The effect is peace!
This following verse says, “And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.” If we want peace in our home we must sow seeds of righteousness. That will mean saying No to certain TV programs, DVDs and websites. It will mean taking a stand against the spirit of the world entering your home. Peace does not come by compromise or even by feeling good. Sometimes people equate peace with calm. Anyone can have peace when everything is going perfect. True peace rests on a foundation of righteousness. (Hosea 10:12)
Order Your Home
It is difficult to have peace when you live in a mess. 1 Timothy 5:14 tells us that the young women are to “guide the house.” This phrase is translated from the Greek word, oikodespoteo, coming from two words: oikos--home, and despotace--master. God has given you the responsibility to manage your home—to keep it in order and running smoothly. Don’t forget the principle of cause and effect. If you want peace, do things that will bring order and peace.
Declutter Your Home
If your dishes and laundry are piling up and your home is cluttered, you will not be able to think straight. Order brings serenity. Evangeline says, “Clutter is worse than dust!” If you have loads of junk it can be daunting to start on this venture. Take one room at a time. Be ruthless. Get rid of everything you don’t need. Purge. The more you eradicate, the more serenity will come to your soul.
Will you become a peace-sower? The more seeds you sow, the greater harvest you will reap.
NANCY CAMPBELL
Founder and Editress of Above Rubies
Peace verbs:
Isaiah 66:12; Hebrews 12:14; Zechariah 8:19; Isaiah 27:5; Isaiah 26:12; Acts 10:36; Isaiah 52:7; Nahum 1:15; Psalm 34:14; 1 Peter 3:11; Esther 10:3; Psalm 85:8.