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Women's Daily Encouragement Blog

Strengthening Families Across the World through the encouragement of women in their high calling from God as wives, mothers and homemakers.

EveryMealDear Ladies, I am continuing to add a few comments from the post below, CHAOS OR ORDER?

Because of disorder at the table, one lady mentioned the adage: “Children should be seen and not heard” I don’t agree with this statement. I believe the table is place for not only eating, but fellowship. Food and fellowship go together. They are TWINS.

Of course, as I have been sharing, we don’t allow children to talk over the top of one another, or to have separate conversations with each other at the table. Fellowship is for building up one another. Therefore, each one takes a turn. We train our children to do what is right and what is etiquette. When they learn the right way at the table, they understand how to act in other situations.

Even in the church situation 1 Corinthians 14:31 says: “For ye may all prophecy ONE BY ONE, that all may learn, and all may be comforted.” Do you notice the words ONE BY ONE? It is chaos when everyone talks at once. But we are all blessed and encouraged when each one takes their turn.

Other women mentioned that husbands should help more! We all want our husbands to help more, don’t we? But we need to remember that God has given us the task of managing our home. It’s not our husband’s obligation. His responsibility to is to work hard to provide and protect the home. Of course, it is lovely when the husband helps with the dishes, especially when there are young children.

However, when there are older children in the home, they should be trained to take the responsibility to clear the table, do the dishes, and clean the kitchen. If we are not training them, we are not doing our job. The husband who has been working hard all day should not have to do this. But if he does, please be grateful to him and thank him. Don’t take it for granted.

You are the Queen of your home. You are not expected to do every job in the home. You train and delegate. Every child can do something, even the little ones. In homes where there are older trained children the mothers should be reaping their reward of years of mothering. They should be able to sit and relax while their children clean up.

And one more thing. Can I please encourage you, dear wives and mothers, to change your confession? Many wrote that they dislike the family table because of the rabble and confusion that goes on. But this is opposite to God’s plan. God wants to come and join you at your table. He wants to bring His presence to your table. He wants it to be a place of joy, laughter, harmony, and blessing one another.

You can begin to make this happen as you change your confession. Begin confessing that you LOVE MEAL TIMES WITH YOUR FAMILY! What you confess will come to pass. Instead of thinking of preparing a meal as another chore, look upon it as sacred task. My goal is TO MAKE EVERY MEAL A LOVE AFFAIR!

That’s what I think about when you start preparing a meal. Think of how you make your meal a love affair to bless their physical bodies. You think of how you can make your table a love affair as you talk and fellowship together. You think of the greatest joy at the end of the meal when you open the Bible to feed the spirit and pray together.

Start thinking NOW about what you are going to do at your meal table this evening.

Love from Nancy Campbell

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NoCareerDear mother. God is behind you all the way. He goes before you. And best of all, He is with you every moment! #powerofmotherhood #godiswithyou #aboverubies

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TrainYourChildrenWe continue talking about the family meal table. One mother wrote: “I spend most of my meal correcting and giving reminders of appropriate manners/behavior.” Yes, I agree that this is part of training at the meal table. Necessary training. However, when we engage them in conversation and discuss topics together, the children become more involved and forget about doing all their antics at the table.

Another mother of teenagers down to a two-year-old wrote: “Getting everyone to help is hard and frustrating.” This shouldn’t be the case when you have older children. They should be trained by now! The teenagers should know how to run the home, including cooking the meal and cleaning up. If they are not capable of doing this, what have we been doing all their lives? Even little children can learn how to help with the meal, set the table, clean up, and help with dishes. Each one should have their own job.

You start training them when they are little. You expect obedience. You don’t allow them to get away with doing their own thing when there is a job to be done. If you let them get away with it when they are little, they will never get in the habit.

It’s a good idea to work out a timetable for the evening meal and other jobs in the home each week. Decide the task of each child and put it up on the fridge or somewhere and each child is responsible for their chore. Your job is to make sure they do it. But it shouldn’t have to be cajoling and reminding. No. Get excited. Do you part and encourage everyone to be excited about doing their part as you all work together! Work is fun! Work is great. It’s family time! You are all doing it together.

I remember when our granddaughter, Rashida was younger. She is now a mother of two precious little girls. Every year my father came to visit us from New Zealand (he has since passed away). Each year Rashida would a cook a special meal for her beloved great-granddad.

She was only seven years old when she prepared this feast—roast turkey with coos coos stuffing (including sundried tomatoes, cashews, pine nuts, figs, and raisins); marinated grape leaves stuffed with lebani, placed in a bowl with figs, dates, and black and green olives; mashed potatoes and gravy; salad with homemade dressings (almondaise and Green Greek dressing) and tamarind date chutney. Yes, she made dessert too--ginger steamed pudding and raw nut balls!

From that age Rashida was in charge of the kitchen for their family. I think your seven-year-old can at least help with dishes!

Another mother wrote: “I am always left drowning in dishes while everyone scatters afterwards.” This should never happen. All children should be trained to clean up the table and do the dishes. No one in the family should ever leave the kitchen until everything is cleaned and finished. It is all part of the family meal time. It doesn’t finish until dishes are completed. No one escapes! Or look out!

Be encouraged dear mothers. Can I say it again, you create your world. You can have what you want. You train. You make it happen.

Love to you today,

Nancy Campbell

Painting by Jessie Willcox Smith

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CreateWorldDear Ladies, Today I would like to address comments from my last post, CHAOS OR ORDER AT THE TABLE. Scroll down and read it if you haven’t already.

I was sad to read that many do not enjoy mealtimes with their families. They feel they are chaotic and everyone talks over the top of one another.

One mother of teenagers down to little ones writes: “The children have weird conversations with each other and my husband I often just tune it out.” And there were similar comments. Dear mothers, can I remind you that you and your husband decide what happens at your table. Not the children! We as parents create the world we want in our home. We create the atmosphere. We determine what happens at the family meal table.

When I prepare the food for our evening meal, I not only think about food for the body, but food for the soul. I find it is just as important to meditate about what we will speak about at the table as prepare the meal. I find that if my husband and I do not bring a question or a subject to discuss to the table the conversation goes nowhere. It’s usually about nothing. Or small talk that is a waste of time. It seems futile. Is that what you find at your table?

You can change that! Come to the table prepared with a subject to talk about. Of course, this will depend on the season and ages of your children. If you have little children, bring a very simple question such as “What was the best thing you did today?” Encourage each child to share and then Daddy and Mommy must also talk about the best thing that happened to them. It’s for the whole family.

As your children get older you can bring subjects to the table to discuss—fun topics, political, geographical, spiritual, or biblical. Here’s one that our children loved when growing up. We often asked this question as they never tired of it: “If you were given a million dollars, what would you do with it?” Or, “If you had all the money in the world and you could go to any country in the world, which country would you choose and why?”

Get every child to have their turn, including mother and father. No one is exempt. No one is left out. Even in the midst of a large corporate family, each child receives their own personal attention. When each child has their turn, they are the center of attention, from mother and father and the rest of the family. They hold the floor!

Also, in this way, no one talks over the top of one another. Each one has their turn. Oh yes, they may try to do this, but both you and your husband will curb this and keep order. You are in charge, not them!

Sometimes when we would bring a controversial subject to the table, the children would all try to have their say at once, sometimes getting up on their chair to get their point across. We birthed loud and opinionated children who became more opinionated the older they got! However, we still didn’t allow them to take over. We allowed them to freely express their opinions, which we loved them to do, but they had to have turns! My husband was always the umpire!

Here’s another important thing to remember at your table. My husband and I have never allowed personal conversations with other members of the family at the table. The table is for togetherness. When one member speaks at the table, it is for the whole family to hear. It is time for family communication, not personal conversation which they can have at any time. Therefore, apart from asking someone to pass something to them on the table, all conversations are for everyone to hear. Sometimes we have people come to our table who will begin to whisper or talk to the person next to them. It grieves me when this happens, and I realize they haven’t been taught true table manners. Establish this rule in your family. It will save chaos at your table and you will train your children how to act when they sit at other’s people’s tables.

I will give you a couple of links of questions you can ask the children at your table. I keep a copy of these lists above my fridge. Sometimes when I am tired and cannot think of something new, I will refer to them, so we always have something to bring to the table to keep the conversation spicy and encourage heart and soul communication.

http://aboverubies.org/…/797-family-meal-table-dinner-time-…

http://aboverubies.org/…/798-family-meal-table-presidential…

This is what the table is all about—communication and fellowship. That’s why we sit around a table, so we can look a one another’s faces. Food releases the wonderful stress-relieving hormone of oxytocin when you eat with others in a relaxed atmosphere. It doesn’t do you any good when you eat on your own or while looking at the back of someone’s head in the car! Do it the Bible way—sitting around the table (Psalm 128:3).

I will address other remarks tomorrow.

Be blessed at your table today,
Nancy Campbell

Painting: “Glory of Evening” by Thomas Kinkade. God intends the evening meal to be a time of glory in your home, a time when you all enjoy one another and where God comes to join your table with His presence.

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ChaosOrderWhat’s the atmosphere like in your home? What’s it like at meal times? Do you gather together around your table? Talk and fellowship together? Open God’s Word and pray together? Do you do dishes and clean up the kitchen together? Or is Mom left with the mess and everyone goes their merry way?

I am aware than in many homes family meal times don’t happen together. Even if they do, mother is left doing dishes while children run off to do their own thing. You can’t run a home this way. Family life is togetherness. Family life means that everyone pulls their weight.

Dear mother, you are the one to make this happen. You don’t allow everyone to do their own thing. You gather the family together. You make the table and your meal so attractive and inviting that they’ll want to come to the table.

You’ll think of subjects to discuss with your children at the table rather than sitting there with small talk that doesn’t interest anyone. And of course, you’ll never allow iPhones at the table! Have a basket where they drop them in as they come to the table. The table is the place to communicate together as a family. To look at one another face to face.

Why am I talking about the family table again? Because it is a gathering place for the family. God planned it. The Bible picture of a family that that lives in God’s blessing is a family with the children all sitting around the table (Psalm 128:3). God loves the table because it is a place of communication. He wants to join you at your table. He wants to speak to you all as you open His Word at the end of the meal.

Dear mother, can I encourage you to make family times happen in your home? Don’t let your family dissipate into their own world and the world of social media while your family fragments away.

When you plan and make things happen, it brings order. It establishes peace and harmony and drives out chaos.

Satan does not want family togetherness. He is intent on scattering the family in every direction. You must fight against every hindrance. You must push through and make it happen. But what blessed things will happen when you do.

When we get order and peace in family homes, we will begin to get order and peace in the nation.

I bless your home today in the name of Jesus.

Love from Nancy Campbell

P.S. Do you need help? Do you need specific ideas on what to do? Feel free to ask questions and we can answer them together.

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