Who Do You Follow?

What is carnal mothering? I think it is when we focus more on the teachings of so-called parenting experts than God. It looks something like this: “I am of William Sears; I am of James Dobson; I am of Gary Ezzo; and I am of [insert favorite parenting teacher here]” etc.

Remember what Paul wrote to the Corinthians?  “For ye are yet carnal; for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men? For while one saith, I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are ye not carnal? Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man? I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.” (1 Corinthians 3:3-9)

This is exactly where I was until recently. I have bounced around nearly every parenting philosophy in my quest to learn how to be a Godly mother. I started off in the Attachment Parenting (AP) group. In fact, I still would be considered an AP Mother since I practice a lot of AP principles. I checked out non-punitive discipline (aka Grace Based Discipline/Positive Discipline). When that didn’t work, I checked out others.

However, when I found myself with the varying situations a mother finds herself in each day, I realized there was a problem when I started to think what the parenting gurus would do, rather than turning to God and asking Him what I should do. Sometimes I’d just rather deal with a Moses than hear from God direct.

Fortunately, God stepped in and brought me to a place, both spiritually and physically, where I had to rely solely on Him. God moved our family to a more remote location, which greatly reduced my online time. I am no longer within walking distance to the local library where I access the internet.

I started to pray for vision in my mothering. Not only did God give me a vision, but showed me how to implement it. Early on in my mothering I was led astray by teaching which focused on “ages and stages” (e.g. “terrible two’s” etc). I became apathetic in prayer for my children thinking everything was “just a phase”. Now I pray about everything and I’m seeing beautiful fruit as a result.

The ideas keep coming, as God pours them into my mind, for keeping house, toilet training, homeschooling and child training, etc.

God still continues to use others in mothering/parenting ministries to encourage, teach, and inspire me. The Above Rubies magazine is a main one. I often find the articles in each issue deal with exactly what is happening in my life at the time.

However, I used to use Titus 2 as an excuse to continue in my carnal mothering. Now I use it as my measuring stick. When I hear/read mothering advice, I check it against the qualities in Titus 2 and ask myself, does it make me love my husband and children? Does it make me want to be sober, discreet, chaste, a keeper at home, good, and obedient to my husband? If it doesn’t measure up, I disregard it.

Since the Lord has freed me from trying to measure up to the parenting gurus, I no longer feel overwhelmed, or in a constant state of “What do I do”. As a result, I am calmer, less grumpy, and more joyful. And the best thing is I am really starting to enjoy my children.

Lihue, Hawaii, USA
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Above Rubies Address

Email Nancy

PO Box 681687
Franklin, TN 37068-1687
Phone Toll Free in USA: 877-729-9861
Or  Phone : 931-729-9861
Office Hrs 9am - 4pm, M - F, CTZ