A number of years ago, I had a positive pregnancy test. It was a surprise and a happy one! I would be the mother of four children.

After only a few weeks I started to bleed. My heart sank so far down. I never thought I would have a miscarriage. I was healthy and my previous pregnancies flew by with ease. I love pregnancy, being in labor and nursing. When I started bleeding I felt that my baby's life had ended. I went to the bathroom and caught my baby. I rinsed off the debris and there was a perfect sac, about the size of a half dollar. Inside was my baby which looked like a little lima bean.

What sadness I felt. My children were so disappointed. Later that evening my seven-year-old son asked me, "Mommy, where did our baby go?" I told him that I believe he went to heaven to be with Jesus. My son said, "Get everyone together, I want to pray." We gathered on my bed and my son prayed, "Jesus, please watch over our baby up there and don't let anything happen to him." What a precious moment.

I went to the doctor when I had my miscarriage and took my baby in a jar. The doctor told me she was going to send it to the lab. Oh how I wish I had brought my little lima bean baby home and buried him/her in my backyard. My husband was out of town while all of this took place. If I would have brought the baby home he could have seen him/her too.

Time has passed and healing has taken place. But I think about my baby and wonder if that little baby would have had dark hair like my other children. Thank the Lord that someday I will see this little one in heaven.

Marissa, Illinois, USA

God has blessed Paul and Julie. They now have 13 children, 10 biological and 3 adopted from Liberia.


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