Called To Queenhood!
“Come to me, my bride, my queen you shall be”
(Song of Songs 4:8 Knox).
There is a quality of queenliness in every woman. You innately desire it. Your husband desires it, and as king, he wants you to be his queen. We see it in our young daughters and granddaughters. They want to be princesses. They want to dress up as princesses when they play “dressing up” and are subconsciously practicing to be queens. They love to play “mommies and daddies” with their dolls and are intuitively preparing for motherhood. We don’t teach them to do this. They do it naturally… until their minds are re-programmed by the humanistic propaganda of our modern society.
Just as men should walk in kingliness, so we should walk in queenliness. And we have a queendom to reign over. Yes, there is such a word in the dictionary.* Unfortunately it has become a forgotten word as women have left the glory of their homes to pursue vain callings, careers that may seem glamorous and enticing now, but which will one day be left behind. On the other hand, mothering, embracing and training children, and reigning over a queendom will powerfully affect the nation, the generations to come and even more powerfully, eternity!
You may live in a 10,000 square foot home or you may live in a humble trailer. No matter how big and palatial, or how small and humble your home, you are still queen of your castle. Our daughter, Evangeline and her husband, live in a two-roomed cabin with their ten children. Is she groveling with self-pity and acting like a non-entity? No, she is queen of her domain. She lives like a queen. She thinks like a queen. She runs her home with amazing efficiency. There is no mess, no confusion, no extra ‘stuff’ and no complaining–only joy, fun, positivity and a family living in the presence of the Lord.
One of the meanings of “queen” in the dictionary is, “‘a woman who is eminent or supreme in a given domain.” That’s us, ladies! God has given us a domain to rule and reign over as queens. Where is this domain? It is not the realm of the corporate world. It is not ruling over our husbands. We are privileged to submit to our husband’s leadership, authority and protection. However, under his covering and protection, God has given us a sphere of rulership, a realm where we are to rule and reign! This realm is in our homes.
“Oh, how boring!” I hear you exclaim. Wait a minute. This is the very reason that many women have lost their queenliness today. They have been brainwashed into thinking that the home is a boring place, a place where they will lose their identity and amount to nothing. The very opposite is the truth. The home is where we find our identity. In the safety and sanctity of the home, we can flourish to our full beauty. We can give vent to our creativity. We can fulfill our management abilities.
The Old Testament calls us “the mistress of the house.” One Hebrew word for “mistress” is baalah, which is simply the feminine word for baal. It means “to be master, to have dominion over.” The other word for “mistress” in the Old Testament is the Hebrew word gbereth. It is the feminine word of “master,” which is gbiyr and means “to be strong, valiant, to prevail.”
It is not only men who want to have dominion. There is something in a woman that also wants to have dominion too. God created us this way. Immediately after God told Adam and Eve to “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth,” He then said to them, “Subdue it, and have dominion…” These words were not only spoken to the man, but also to the woman.
God wants you to be the mistress, the queen--governing over the domestic affairs of your home. Your home is the center of your life. It is a place of challenge, creativity and celebration. You rule over your kitchen, making sure that your husband and family are daily nourished with life-giving meals. You preside over the educating of your children. You administrate the cleaning of your home. You direct the ideas, projects and plans on which you and your children are currently working.
You practice hospitality, planning when you will invite each particular family or lonely person to come and eat at your table. You think about what food you will prepare for them and how you can make them feel special. You work on assignments with your children for reaching out to the poor and needy. You are constantly making your home a creative, interesting and sacred place in which to live.
You plan, plant and work in your garden to feed your family and beautify your home. And above all, you are full-time nurturing, nourishing, loving and encouraging your husband and children. Oh your life is FULL! There is so much to reign over. You never seem to have enough time to fulfill all your great visions.
Of course, as queen of your home, you don’t do everything yourself, but train your children to take over in all these areas. And you may have many servants--your washing machine, dryer, dishwasher and all your electric kitchen gadgets. What a blessing.
But is this only an Old Testament truth? Let’s see what the New Testament has to say. 1 Timothy 5:14 says, “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” The phrase, “guide the house” is the Greek word oikodespoteo. It is a combination of two words: oikos meaning “home, household, family” and despotes meaning “master, or ruler.”
What does this mean? You are the ruler, the queen of your queendom. It does not mean that you manage your husband’s life. Your mandate is to manage and take dominion over the domestic affairs of your household and garden. God gives you the responsibility to manage your home and keep it in order.
Don’t look at all the other things that you could be doing outside your home. Instead, look to the things that need to be taken care of in your home today. There’s a lot to do. Is the laundry up-to-date? Are the dishes washed? Is your home running smoothly? Are you watching over the minds and hearts of your children? Are you watching in prayer?
I love the words of Rev. T. De Witt Talmage, “Thank God, O woman, for the quietude of your home, and that you are queen in it. Men come at eventide to the home; but all day long you are there, beautifying it, sanctifying it, adorning it, blessing it… It may be a very humble home. There may be no carpet on the floor. There may be no pictures on the wall. There may be no silks in the wardrobe; but, by your faith in God, and your cheerful demeanor, you may garniture that place with more splendor than the upholsterer’s hand ever kindled.”
God wants His kingdom to spread throughout the earth. He wants His glory, His love, His truth, His peace and His salvation to touch all people. As we take dominion over our homes, as we make them sanctuaries for training godly children and palaces for God’s glory, we will see God’s kingdom spread.
Sadly, many women are bored with their home. They have not yet seen the vision that their home is their greatest sphere of influence for God. They do not have the vision for raising children for God. With no vision for hospitality and so little to rule over, they are unfulfilled and have to find their place of dominion somewhere else. Unfortunately, they move out of the sphere where God wants them to govern. They come out from under their husband’s protection and become vulnerable to other men instead of their own husband. As one writer commented, “Women end up submitting to many men in the corporate world because they refuse to submit to one man at home.” The result is an endemic of divorce and breakdown of marriage, even in the Christian world. Isn’t it sad that current statistics reveal that the emptiest place in America during the day is the home?
The Queen of England has a number of castles. The people know which one she is visiting or residing in when they see the flag flown at the top of the castle. Fly the flag at your royal home. Don’t vacate your queendom for a lesser career.
“But I don’t feel like a queen,” you answer. It is not a matter of feelings. It is who you are. Rise up to your status of queenship. Think like a queen and you will begin to act like a queen. Walk like a queen. Speak like a queen--this will definitely make you feel more queenly. It will also change the atmosphere in your home. It will draw praises from your husband. What about dressing like a queen? You will rise to how you dress.
The more you live like a queen, the more honor you will give to your husband and the more he will be motivated to walk in his kingliness. Proverbs 12: 4 says that a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband. A crown is a symbol of royalty. A crown is beautiful, adorned with shining and valuable gems. As we take on our queenship, we will be a crown to our husbands.
Primm Springs, Tennessee, USA
* Thorndike-Barnhart Comprehensive Desk Dictionary, Edited by Clarence. L. Barnhart