WE WON'T ANYMORE!
In past year we have done some serious soul searching and came to the decision that the only person that should be in "control" of our family planning should be the greatest family man there ever was-GOD, the creator of LIFE!
When I was pregnant with baby three, I decided WE WERE DONE! Actually, I WAS DONE! I spent eight weeks on bed rest, the most painful eight weeks of my life! I had to listen to a nanny play with my babies while I lay in the other room in bed sobbing because I wanted to see my children's faces light up when we played games, did crafts and went for walks. While bed rest changed my marriage for the better, there were times it was hard. I think anyone who has been on bed rest with small children or children period at home will understand.
After delivery, I was taken back to have a tubal, something I decided on. I didn't pray about it. I didn't care what my husband thought or felt. This was my body after all. While I was laying there waiting for the surgery, I fought with God. I felt Him speaking to me, "You are not done, and I have plans for you. This isn't the plan, there are more in your future." But I was YELLING at God, "I AM DONE; I DON'T WANT MORE, I AM DONE, DONE, DONE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST WENT THROUGH? EIGHT WEEKS OF BED REST AND THEN THE BABY WOULDN'T COME OUT. I'M DONE! "
I felt God continuing to speak to me, "NO YOU ARE NOT," and I sobbed to the doctor, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just can't do this." She responded, "Okay sweetie, it's okay, I will go and tell your husband. Besides, you are too sweet and beautiful of a family to not have more. She was a GOD SEND!
For the past year we have been talking about how we are supposed to move forward after that conversation I had with God in the operating room. We read the passage about children being a blessing from God MANY times, as I am sure we all have. But we hadn't UNDERSTOOD until about a month ago. We wouldn't hold back the financial blessings of God, so WHY do we hold back the blessing of children? Ah, well, there are a whole host of reasons why people do. But for us and our family, WE WON'T ANYMORE!
JESSICA ANN VILARDO
North Charleston, SC, USA
Salvador and Jessica's blessings are Isabella (4), Isaiah (2) and Ian Matthew (1) as at October 2010.